FAIL / Epic Fail - Ultradvertising at its finest

:SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR HOUSES, AND WE WILL SELL THEM! WE SELL FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE SELL IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!
IF WE FEHL A SALE, WE WILL TRY AGAIN AND MARK IT OFF FOR A LOWER PRICE! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMERS WHO WILL BUY OUR HIGH QUALITY HOUSES

AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE SALESMEN ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP SELL! OUR LAND LORDS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE BUYERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO TRY AND BUY TWO HOMES! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE SALES MEN ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING SALES
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THE CODEX HOUSEOWNERIUS NEMES THIS MANUVAH HOUSE SALES! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE HOUSES, AND OVERWHELM THEM, LEAVE NONE SOLD! MEANWHILE, OUR LAWYERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!
WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S SALESMEN!