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1093 Views • Created 10 years ago By Molly Horan • Updated 6 months ago

Created By Molly Horan • Updated 6 months ago

Pope Application

Linked in Home What is Linkedln? Join Today Sign In Pope Vatican - Vatican City State (Holy See) Job Description This is a great opportunity for any executive professional seeking that next big challenge in their life. As Supreme Pontiff, you will be the Head of State for the Vatican City and God's divine representative on earth. Infallibility and strong problem solving skills are a must. As the leader of 1.2 billion people, you will also be required to bring your immense wealth of knowledge, experience and energy to t We offer a competitive salary, plenty of opportunities to travel and as the chosen candidate you will be rewarded with a generous fringe benefits package, including our Popemobile company car, a private jet, an annual pass to the Sistine Chapel, dental, and Life Everlasting. You will, however, be expected to work sundays he role Before applying, candidates must remember this is not a temporary post but a job for life. Desired Skills & Experience .Strong public speaker . Born leader . Proactive and solve problems Celibate .A confidential and discrete approach to the jotb . An ability to turn the other cheek . A steadier of ships A diplomatic and courteous manner Frequent flyer Master of ceremonies Open to religion To Apply: Please apply online via Linkedln or send your CV to the Papal Headhunter on papalheadhunter@gmail.com Equal Opportunities Here at the Vatican, we take equal opportunities seriously. People from all ethnicities and backgrounds will be considered, unless you are of course a woman. Company Description Founded by Jesus Christ, the Roman Catholic Church is the one of the world's oldest institutions... With all due respect, if you haven't heard of us you really don't stand much of a chance. Good luck, and God Speed
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    Off to the next one

    Andy Byrne (He/Him) • 2nd CEO, Clari | $4T under management | The Prime Minister of Revenue 6h • Connect My phone rang immediately after I closed the Zoom. I had just given a presentation to a customer's entire exec team, and now the CEO was calling me. "You changed the way we think. We consider you a dotted line to our team. Thank you." In the hour I spent with their team, zero seconds were spent selling Clari. The session was entirely focused on best practices for running revenue, and discussing where they were strong and where they were weak. This is the power of a strong point-of-view. This is the difference between selling something to someone, and creating a shared vision with them. I relish these moments with customers. It's endlessly rewarding to help companies think critically about their most important business process - revenue. Now, off to the next customer call. 253 6 comments 2 reposts
    Andy Byrne (He/Him) • 2nd CEO, Clari | $4T under management | The Prime Minister of Revenue 6h • Connect My phone rang immediately after I closed the Zoom. I had just given a presentation to a customer's entire exec team, and now the CEO was calling me. "You changed the way we think. We consider you a dotted line to our team. Thank you." In the hour I spent with their team, zero seconds were spent selling Clari. The session was entirely focused on best practices for running revenue, and discussing where they were strong and where they were weak. This is the power of a strong point-of-view. This is the difference between selling something to someone, and creating a shared vision with them. I relish these moments with customers. It's endlessly rewarding to help companies think critically about their most important business process - revenue. Now, off to the next customer call. 253 6 comments 2 reposts
    LinkedIn
    /r/linkedinlunatics linkedin lunatics linkedin

    So Annoying

    imgflip.com COMPANY: HAS AN EASY APPLY ON LINKEDIN ALSO COMPANY: SENDS EMAIL TO COMPLETE APPLICATION ON THEIR OUTDATED WEBSITE
    imgflip.com COMPANY: HAS AN EASY APPLY ON LINKEDIN ALSO COMPANY: SENDS EMAIL TO COMPLETE APPLICATION ON THEIR OUTDATED WEBSITE
    LinkedIn
    jobs working recruiting hell memes

    Sucks

    in : You appeared in 78 searches this week Woah. This is worthless!
    in : You appeared in 78 searches this week Woah. This is worthless!
    LinkedIn
    linkedin meme worthless gravity falls dipper pines dipper pines

    changing nature

    A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him causing excruciating pain. The man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire. So, the man looked around and found a metal pole and used it to take the snake out of the fire, saving its life. Someone who was watching approached the man and said: "That snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?" The man replied: "The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not going to change my nature, which is to help." Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart, but learn to take precautions. Home My Network Post Notifications Jobs
    A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him causing excruciating pain. The man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire. So, the man looked around and found a metal pole and used it to take the snake out of the fire, saving its life. Someone who was watching approached the man and said: "That snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?" The man replied: "The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not going to change my nature, which is to help." Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart, but learn to take precautions. Home My Network Post Notifications Jobs
    LinkedIn
    nature changing snakes /r/linkedinlunatics

    employment screening

    14h ... I developed an employment screening process that very accurately predicted the future success or failure of employees. It involved a 5 page written test. The written test was the second test. Being willing to focus for an hour was the first test. I had about one percent ask where the bathroom was and I never saw them again. :) I had people ask if I really expected that level of effort during an interview. My response: "If you can't handle thinking for an hour, you aren't going to be able to think all day either." The test wasn't THAT hard, one of the questions was Who is the vice president of the United States? They were mostly like that and the last page required creative thinking.
    14h ... I developed an employment screening process that very accurately predicted the future success or failure of employees. It involved a 5 page written test. The written test was the second test. Being willing to focus for an hour was the first test. I had about one percent ask where the bathroom was and I never saw them again. :) I had people ask if I really expected that level of effort during an interview. My response: "If you can't handle thinking for an hour, you aren't going to be able to think all day either." The test wasn't THAT hard, one of the questions was Who is the vice president of the United States? They were mostly like that and the last page required creative thinking.
    LinkedIn
    employment screening testing /r/linkedinlunatics

    leadership is like dentistry

    • 2nd HX & People Executive | Chief Disrupter | Student... 1w: O I visit the dentist every 6 months, like most people. These visits are preventative; get a good cleaning, check for anything that's crept up since the last visit. If anything does need attention, it's usually a much smaller issue than waiting until I feel pain. Leadership is no different. Keeping in constant, proactive contact with your people is the best way to correct problems when they're small, rather than waiting for the metaphoric root canal or tooth extraction. Similarly, we as employees need to be making an effort with our leaders to show up, talk about our hygiene practices so guidance can be given if we're off course. When was the last time you had a good cleaning with your leader? #leadership #management
    • 2nd HX & People Executive | Chief Disrupter | Student... 1w: O I visit the dentist every 6 months, like most people. These visits are preventative; get a good cleaning, check for anything that's crept up since the last visit. If anything does need attention, it's usually a much smaller issue than waiting until I feel pain. Leadership is no different. Keeping in constant, proactive contact with your people is the best way to correct problems when they're small, rather than waiting for the metaphoric root canal or tooth extraction. Similarly, we as employees need to be making an effort with our leaders to show up, talk about our hygiene practices so guidance can be given if we're off course. When was the last time you had a good cleaning with your leader? #leadership #management
    LinkedIn
    leadership dentistry /r/linkedinlunatics

    welcoming our sixth child

    14:37 l 4G O ... er• 1st 3d • O My wife called me and said, "I'm pregnant." We will be welcoming our sixth child. The news was shocking at first, to say the least. So I took the past six weeks to rest, recalibrate where l'm at, and find my internal compass again. All without losing momentum during the busiest season of the year for me, tax season. I just want to express how important self-care really is. At some point, we all just have to take a step back, to continue being the best version of ourselves. Everyone talks about the hustle. Everyone talks about the grind. Everyone talks about the days they feel on top of the world.
    14:37 l 4G O ... er• 1st 3d • O My wife called me and said, "I'm pregnant." We will be welcoming our sixth child. The news was shocking at first, to say the least. So I took the past six weeks to rest, recalibrate where l'm at, and find my internal compass again. All without losing momentum during the busiest season of the year for me, tax season. I just want to express how important self-care really is. At some point, we all just have to take a step back, to continue being the best version of ourselves. Everyone talks about the hustle. Everyone talks about the grind. Everyone talks about the days they feel on top of the world.
    LinkedIn
    pregnancy kids self-care /r/linkedinlunatics

    #richmindset

    Mohammed Zaid Shaikh 2nd SLife-long Student Mindset Coach Innovation Head at Amity Education Group 2d · O If you earn less than $100,000 annually and still binge watch on Netflix everyday. You have no right to complain about why life is unfair. By all means live your life the way you want to. Just be happy that you made that choice. All I am saying is don't participate in discussions like "why is the rich getting richer and the poor & middle class getting poorer" with a biased opinion. The wealth gap is not increasing because rich people are getting more evil, it is increasing because the poor people are getting more ignorant. If you enjoy 5 hours of tv shows as opposed to 5 hours of brainstorming sessions on 'how can I solve world problems'. So be it. Be a good content consumer and accept your position in the society. A consumer always pays. A problem solver always gets paid. There is nothing wrong with that. Life is as fair as it can be. So if you are done complaining start solving problems. And remember if you are not part of the solution, you must be part of the problem. #richmindset #wealthgap #success #growthmindset #hardwork #millennial #rich
    Mohammed Zaid Shaikh 2nd SLife-long Student Mindset Coach Innovation Head at Amity Education Group 2d · O If you earn less than $100,000 annually and still binge watch on Netflix everyday. You have no right to complain about why life is unfair. By all means live your life the way you want to. Just be happy that you made that choice. All I am saying is don't participate in discussions like "why is the rich getting richer and the poor & middle class getting poorer" with a biased opinion. The wealth gap is not increasing because rich people are getting more evil, it is increasing because the poor people are getting more ignorant. If you enjoy 5 hours of tv shows as opposed to 5 hours of brainstorming sessions on 'how can I solve world problems'. So be it. Be a good content consumer and accept your position in the society. A consumer always pays. A problem solver always gets paid. There is nothing wrong with that. Life is as fair as it can be. So if you are done complaining start solving problems. And remember if you are not part of the solution, you must be part of the problem. #richmindset #wealthgap #success #growthmindset #hardwork #millennial #rich
    LinkedIn
    #richmindset netflix /r/linkedinlunatics

    coronavirus

    es at NYC &. 4d My thoughts on Coronavirus: You will either get it, or you won't. You will either get really sick from it, or you won't. You will either spend an endless amount of time worrying about it, or you won't. Yes, you can wash your hands, wear a mask, and avoid people in large gatherings. If this gives you some semblance of control over something uncontrollable, then do it. But control is an illusion. Things will happen or they won't. #coronavirus #humanfirst #mindfulness
    es at NYC &. 4d My thoughts on Coronavirus: You will either get it, or you won't. You will either get really sick from it, or you won't. You will either spend an endless amount of time worrying about it, or you won't. Yes, you can wash your hands, wear a mask, and avoid people in large gatherings. If this gives you some semblance of control over something uncontrollable, then do it. But control is an illusion. Things will happen or they won't. #coronavirus #humanfirst #mindfulness
    LinkedIn
    coronavirus mindfulness /r/linkedinlunatics

    CEO

    12:38 l LTE rd+ Can pus Executive Officer (CEO) 1w • O When I started my new job as CEO, I was offered a reserved parking space right next to my office however, I politely declined. Instead, I choose to park in the very last row of our campus parking lot. Why would I do that, you may ask? Clarity. As I walk into my office every morning and leave every night and pass by the vehicles of our students, staff and faculty, I am provided a visual reminder that my purpose is to tirelessly contribute to the success of every one of the people who drive those cars. As leaders, when we move to the front of the line, we let everyone know we are in it for ourselves and our position. When we move to the back of the line, our vision becomes much clearer. #LeadersEatLast #ServeOthersFirst #RememberWhereUCameFrom CENTER GEOR
    12:38 l LTE rd+ Can pus Executive Officer (CEO) 1w • O When I started my new job as CEO, I was offered a reserved parking space right next to my office however, I politely declined. Instead, I choose to park in the very last row of our campus parking lot. Why would I do that, you may ask? Clarity. As I walk into my office every morning and leave every night and pass by the vehicles of our students, staff and faculty, I am provided a visual reminder that my purpose is to tirelessly contribute to the success of every one of the people who drive those cars. As leaders, when we move to the front of the line, we let everyone know we are in it for ourselves and our position. When we move to the back of the line, our vision becomes much clearer. #LeadersEatLast #ServeOthersFirst #RememberWhereUCameFrom CENTER GEOR
    LinkedIn
    parking ceo leadership /r/linkedinlunatics

    the pen is ours

    Hikes this Asim 2nd + Follow CEO Jibble.io - location-based attendance app 1w • Around 15 years ago I needed to use a pen that was near my boss's desk - and so I asked him if it was his. He replied, "Asim, no, it's not mine, it's ours." I only realise it now, but I have been blessed to have had some incredible managers. Don't seek a great job, seek a great manager. 000 5,622 A Like E Comment Share
    Hikes this Asim 2nd + Follow CEO Jibble.io - location-based attendance app 1w • Around 15 years ago I needed to use a pen that was near my boss's desk - and so I asked him if it was his. He replied, "Asim, no, it's not mine, it's ours." I only realise it now, but I have been blessed to have had some incredible managers. Don't seek a great job, seek a great manager. 000 5,622 A Like E Comment Share
    LinkedIn
    pens sharing /r/linkedinlunatics

    buying coffee

    I bought her a coffee. No big deal. Then, I grabbed a marker pen and wrote this on the side of the cup: "I'm so impressed with your creativity and quality of work. We're really privileged to have you on the team. Thank you." She thanked me for the coffee but didn't notice the message. Later, I saw a huge smile on her face. When our eyes met, she mouthed the words "Thank you." People want to feel that their work matters. It doesn't take much to show some appreciation. It's not about pay rises, bonuses or company cars. All you need is a $4 coffee and a pen. A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what's expected. Agree? #thankyou #management #leadership 51,249 2,327 Comments
    I bought her a coffee. No big deal. Then, I grabbed a marker pen and wrote this on the side of the cup: "I'm so impressed with your creativity and quality of work. We're really privileged to have you on the team. Thank you." She thanked me for the coffee but didn't notice the message. Later, I saw a huge smile on her face. When our eyes met, she mouthed the words "Thank you." People want to feel that their work matters. It doesn't take much to show some appreciation. It's not about pay rises, bonuses or company cars. All you need is a $4 coffee and a pen. A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what's expected. Agree? #thankyou #management #leadership 51,249 2,327 Comments
    LinkedIn
    boss coffee wages /r/linkedinlunatics

    don't watch youtube or netflix

    9:06 Q Search likes this e President 8h • Edited • ® fired me, because I was slow in Year 2007: My ex boss f paper work also, because there were so many procedures I can't remember them. 8 I told myself, I will be better than him someday then I started to work on myself in one of the restaurants in Year 2016:I bumped into him London. I gave him a friendly smile, I approached him and had a normal catching up conversation. And found out I was more successful than him 9 Lesson to learn here take charge of your life, time is precious don't waste your time with stuff that doesn't matter in life. Don't watch Youtube or Netflix all day long! I wrote an article "HOW COVID 19, MADE ME $100,000 in profit" https:// 205 14 comments A Like Comment Share >
    9:06 Q Search likes this e President 8h • Edited • ® fired me, because I was slow in Year 2007: My ex boss f paper work also, because there were so many procedures I can't remember them. 8 I told myself, I will be better than him someday then I started to work on myself in one of the restaurants in Year 2016:I bumped into him London. I gave him a friendly smile, I approached him and had a normal catching up conversation. And found out I was more successful than him 9 Lesson to learn here take charge of your life, time is precious don't waste your time with stuff that doesn't matter in life. Don't watch Youtube or Netflix all day long! I wrote an article "HOW COVID 19, MADE ME $100,000 in profit" https:// 205 14 comments A Like Comment Share >
    LinkedIn
    youtube netflix successful /r/linkedinlunatics

    #networking

    nd Here to write. If it goes viral, it's not because of me... 9h • O Since joining LinkedIn, I've accepted all connection requests. It's taken me 11 years, but l'm close to the 30k limit. So, if you want to connect: 1. Comment below why you'd like to connect. 2. Send me a personalised invite. (I apologise if this sounds salesy, but...) This could be your last chance. #networking 133 39 comments
    nd Here to write. If it goes viral, it's not because of me... 9h • O Since joining LinkedIn, I've accepted all connection requests. It's taken me 11 years, but l'm close to the 30k limit. So, if you want to connect: 1. Comment below why you'd like to connect. 2. Send me a personalised invite. (I apologise if this sounds salesy, but...) This could be your last chance. #networking 133 39 comments
    LinkedIn
    networking connections /r/linkedinlunatics

    smarter than everyone

    Taylor Offer • 2nd "Best account to follow on LinkedIn" Forbes 30 under 30. 200k IG followers @TaylorP. 1w • O LinkedIn is the best social media platform because the high barrier to entry. If you are spending time on LinkedIn- You are probably smarter than the average person. You have a good job/are looking for a good job. You're connected to your network, so you can't act like a fool. This leads to awesome, engaging and sophisticated conversations unlike other social media websites. What is your favorite social media platform? Why? #LinkedIn #SocialMedia #Instagram 464 · 95 Comments
    Taylor Offer • 2nd "Best account to follow on LinkedIn" Forbes 30 under 30. 200k IG followers @TaylorP. 1w • O LinkedIn is the best social media platform because the high barrier to entry. If you are spending time on LinkedIn- You are probably smarter than the average person. You have a good job/are looking for a good job. You're connected to your network, so you can't act like a fool. This leads to awesome, engaging and sophisticated conversations unlike other social media websites. What is your favorite social media platform? Why? #LinkedIn #SocialMedia #Instagram 464 · 95 Comments
    LinkedIn
    smart instagram social media /r/linkinlunatics

    healthy lifestyles

    Jake Bjorseth · 3rd+ Let's Talk Gen Z| Founder @ Trndsttrs 23h • O If I could (legally) mandate our team follow a diet, fitness, education, and self-care plan... I would do so in a heartbeat. While I can't enforce that, here's what it would look like Guided meditation 1 gallon of water 1 homemade wellness shot (Apple Cider Vinegar, Turmeric, Ginger, Himalayan Salt, Black Pepper, Lemon) 1 short HIIT workout in the am A longer cardio or strength workout in the pm depending on your fitness goals 1 book/week 1 book summary/day Intermittent Fasting 6 days/week No phone/electronics before 9am and after 10pm 5 year goals listed on paper every morning 3 gratitudes written down 1 day dopamine detox/mo (no entertainment, no food, no coffee, just boredom) In a perfect world, what would you add?
    Jake Bjorseth · 3rd+ Let's Talk Gen Z| Founder @ Trndsttrs 23h • O If I could (legally) mandate our team follow a diet, fitness, education, and self-care plan... I would do so in a heartbeat. While I can't enforce that, here's what it would look like Guided meditation 1 gallon of water 1 homemade wellness shot (Apple Cider Vinegar, Turmeric, Ginger, Himalayan Salt, Black Pepper, Lemon) 1 short HIIT workout in the am A longer cardio or strength workout in the pm depending on your fitness goals 1 book/week 1 book summary/day Intermittent Fasting 6 days/week No phone/electronics before 9am and after 10pm 5 year goals listed on paper every morning 3 gratitudes written down 1 day dopamine detox/mo (no entertainment, no food, no coffee, just boredom) In a perfect world, what would you add?
    LinkedIn
    healthy lifestyles meditation nutrition /r/linkedinlunatics

    yolo

    167 I live in a 436 sq ft apartment. I don't own a watch. I don't own a car. I have only one suit that I bought for my sister's wedding. I can fit everything I own in a small truck and it would consist of Ikea furniture, jeans, t shirts, and button ups. My most expensive possession is a 65" TV. I have friends who earn less than me. They own Rolexes, BMWS, Porches, houses, inground pools, and take expensive vacations. They say things like YOLO to justify it. I say things like RETIREMENT to justify my lifestyle. Yes, you only live once, but if you're smart you'll set yourself up for financial independence for the latter half of that life. As we're now experiencing, anything can happen, and you need to be prepared for it.
    167 I live in a 436 sq ft apartment. I don't own a watch. I don't own a car. I have only one suit that I bought for my sister's wedding. I can fit everything I own in a small truck and it would consist of Ikea furniture, jeans, t shirts, and button ups. My most expensive possession is a 65" TV. I have friends who earn less than me. They own Rolexes, BMWS, Porches, houses, inground pools, and take expensive vacations. They say things like YOLO to justify it. I say things like RETIREMENT to justify my lifestyle. Yes, you only live once, but if you're smart you'll set yourself up for financial independence for the latter half of that life. As we're now experiencing, anything can happen, and you need to be prepared for it.
    LinkedIn
    yolo retirement /r/linkedinlunatics

    salaries

    Liz Ryan · 3rd+ Founder and CEO, Human Workplace; Author, "Reinvention Roadmap" + Follow 2w • PUT THE SALARY RANGE IN THE JOB AD (no matter how cool you think your company is). It's insulting to candidates to leave out that vital piece of information. 74,638 · 2,371 Comments A Like Comment Share
    Liz Ryan · 3rd+ Founder and CEO, Human Workplace; Author, "Reinvention Roadmap" + Follow 2w • PUT THE SALARY RANGE IN THE JOB AD (no matter how cool you think your company is). It's insulting to candidates to leave out that vital piece of information. 74,638 · 2,371 Comments A Like Comment Share
    LinkedIn
    salaries job application misleading /r/recruitmenthell

    less ends

    in · 3rd+ + Follow UNAL... Instead of trying to make ends meet, try having less ends. 2,113 45 comments Like E Comment Share
    in · 3rd+ + Follow UNAL... Instead of trying to make ends meet, try having less ends. 2,113 45 comments Like E Comment Share
    LinkedIn
    making ends meet less ends /r/thanksimcured