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The Time Cube is a pseudo-scientific theory of time and space developed by former electrician Gene Ray, who asserts that there are four simultaneous days created within a single rotation of the Earth. Largely due to the controversial aspects of Ray’s theory on everything, both the website and the puzzling concept of Time Cube have become the subject of tongue-in-cheek parodies and satire on the Internet.
In August 1997, Gene Ray, an American electrician living in Florida, posted an early draft of Nature’s Harmonic Simultaneous 4-day Time Cube on his personal website timecube.com. Using colorful, oversized HTML text, occasional diagrams and ill-equipped metaphors, Ray argued that time-space continuum of the universe is shaped like a cube, while blaming the academic circles for denying the ineffable truth of “four days per rotation”:
In the grand scheme of what he called “Time-Cubism,” 4 is considered the supreme number of the universe and thus, the time-space continuum can be divided into four classes, much like the Greeks did with the four humours and the four elements. These classes are called corners, which can be applied across several category fields:
- The four corners of the day are midnight, 6 AM, noon, and 6 PM
- The four corners of complexion are black, white, Asian, and Indian
- The four corners/stages of a person’s lifetime are baby, child, parent, and grandparent
- The four corners of a person’s head are the face, two ears, and back of the head
- The four corners of Earth are four arbitrary quadrants
- The four corners of the year are the four seasons
The earliest known parody of Time-Cubism was posted to writing community Everything2.com on October 26th, 2001. The satirical article, written by a user named Arwon, took place in an alternate reality where the Time Cube theory was true and and Ray won a Nobel Prize in Physics. In March 2002, Something Awful published the Learning Triangle theory, which argued that one should not believe in corners. That month, Mike from the blog Trephination published a series of email correspondence between himself and the self-proclaimed “wisest human,” in which Ray harasses Mike for attempting to argue with him. In 2005, Rey gave lectures at MIT and Georgia Tech, which were documented on a DVD.
In 2007, Crank.net published a collection of parodies and expository sites related to the Time Cube. Bei Dawai, a professor from Hsuan Chuang University in Taiwan, published an academic look into the Time Cube principles titled “‘Proving Human Stupidity’: Time Cube, Gnosis, and the Challenge of Radical Cosmology” in 2008.
Cubic Awareness Online
Cubic Awareness Online, originally located at cubicao.tk, was the first and largest fan site for the Time Cube. Run by Richard Janczarski, the site also spawned a message board called Graveyard of the Gods, where Janczarski was known as “Cubehead.” In 2007, Janczarski flew out to Florida from his home in Australia to meet up with Gene Ray to discuss the site and share ideas about the theory. While he was there, he filmed an eighteen part documentary titled The Dr Gene Ray Time Cube Experience, which he uploaded to his YouTube account Pyramid0rz.
In February 2008, a year after he publicly denounced the religion, calling it an “evil scam.”, Janczarski announced on the Graveyard of the Gods forum that he had renounced Time Cube theory in favor of Christianity and would possibly be changing cubicao.tk into a Christian website. On February 13th, a rumor surfaced on the forums that Janczarski had taken his own life by jumping in front of a train but an official news report was ever found. Other users on the site speculated that Janczarski’s rumored death might have been related to his fallout with Gene Ray over the YouTube series and the “false information” Ray felt he was presenting on Cubic Awareness Online.
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