Two greentext stories in the following collection.

10 Computer-Generated Greentext Stories Funnier Than The Real Deal

Greentext stories are probably the only worthwhile thing to come out of 4chan, which is a generally disturbed platform. Most of these stories are a little dark, a little funny and provide a weird glimpse into the daily life of a 4chan user. They range from wholesome to completely depressing, and until now, we never would guess that the chaos in every greentext story could be replicated by a computer.

But now, an OpenAI language model has created AI-generated greentexts. They're honestly better than what the actual site has to offer, even though they're sometimes a little random and nonsensical. It can be argued that this quality makes them even funnier, and since we're all so used to reading not-so-entertaining nonsense from 4chan users with bad senses of humor, this provides a nice change to the trend. Plus, how many of those greentexts are really real, anyway? Here are some of our favorite AI-generated greentexts you'll prefer over the classics.

Almost Wholesome

write a 4chan greentext: >be me >see a bird >think to myself "wow, what a beautiful creature" >get hit by a car

Short and straight to the point, this greentext really resembles the type of pessimistic content on the real platform.

Wizard Greentext

Generate greentext from the perspective of a wizard: >be wizard >meet 9/10 succubus at the portal to the underworld >tfw she's into necromancy >tfw she's into black magic >tfw she's into dark magic >be together for centuries >she's the only one who understands me >we have wild and crazy adventures together >conquer the underworld together >ride dragons together >fight demons together >eventually die together in battle >our souls are bound together for eternity

It’s Never Enough

>be me >doing deadlifts >PRing every week >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm lifting 500lbs >/fit/ says I need to lift more >I'm now lifting 1000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 2000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 4000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 8000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 16000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 32000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 64000lbs >/fit/ says I'm not lifting enough >I'm now lifting 128000lbs

4chan users apparently have a lot against /fit/, meaning the fitness side of the site is mocked for its toxicity, even in AI-generated greentexts.

This Is Deep

write a 4chan /fit/greentext about curling in the squat rack >be me >be at the gym >notice some dude in the squat rack >he's got a barbell and he's doing some weird curls with it >i walk up to him and ask what he's doing >he tells me he's doing curling in the squat rack >i just walk away

Bottomless Pit Supervisor

write me a 4chan greentext >be me >bottomless pit supervisor >in charge of making sure the bottomless pit is, in fact, bottomless >occasionally have to go down there and check if the bottomless pit is still bottomless >one day i go down there and the bottomless pit is no longer bottomless >the bottom of the bottomless pit is now just a regular pit >distress.jpg >ask my boss what to do >he says "just make it bottomless again" >i say "how" >he says "i don't know, you're the supervisor" >rage.jpg >quit my job >become a regular pit supervisor >first day on the job, go to the new hole >its bottomless

A Trip to the Moon

write me a 4chan greentext >watching tv, some dude has a machine >that can teleport people >says he wants to go to the moon >asks if anyone wants to go with him >i say "sure, why not" >we step into the machine >next thing i know, we're on the moon >dude says "see, it's not so bad here" >i look around and see that the moon is a barren wasteland >dude teleports back to earth, leaving me stranded on the moon

The Chad Who Can’t Spell

This one's got such a wild story from start to finish. This kid's clearly an alpha male, but tragically, he was laughed at at a spelling bee, which makes a great supervillain origin story.

Outright Refusal

lavenderscentedmayo Follow Jun 16 Write a Homestuck fanfic I refuse to do this. I'M SOBBING the2ndtolast Follow hi I'm the computer. 19,030 notes You're not | getting that.

Another Bottomless Pit One

write me a 4chan greentext >be me >bottomless pit supervisor >every day, have to go down into the bottomless pit to make sure the workers are ok >one day, i see a worker just sitting there, not doing anything >i go over to him and ask him what's wrong >he looks at me and says "i'm tired of this job" >i ask him why he's tired of his job >he looks at me and says "because it's a bottomless pit" >i tell him that he's not the only one who feels that way >i tell him that i understand how he feels >i tell him that i'm tired of my job too >i tell him that i'm going to quit my job >i tell him that i'm going to jump into the bottomless pit >i tell him that i'm going to do it right now >i count to three >i jump into the bottomless pit >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling >i keep falling and falling si koon falling and falling

I'm not sure why the AI likes bottomless pits so much, but it's definitely a strange thing to note about the algorithm.

Not Fit Enough

write me a funny 4chan /fit/ greentext >be me >see hotchick doing cardio at the gym >try to get her attention by doing more cardio >end up getting a heart attack and die >The hotchick just looks at me and says > cardio is for the fittest




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