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Gender War According to Feminists

39/100 AntiFemComics What feminists think the gender war is VS What it really is VS

39/100 AntiFemComics What feminists think the gender war is VS What it really is VS

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I love how these gamers have the nerve to accuse feminists of being too easily offended

07-15-2016 18:47 AM nobody goes from zero to outraged faster than they do. Edited a lolicon scene out of a Japanese game to make it more accessible in the West? "CENSORSHIP!!! F--- CENSORSHIP!!! FEMINAZIS GET OUT REEEEEEEE" Put an openly homosexual character in a game who isn't a slutty lesbian for the teens to clasp their hairy palms over? "GET THAT LGBT FAGGOTRY OUT!! GAY MAFIA! RAARGH!" Somebody points out that they don't think a graphic r--- scene is necessary for a particular game, and that they don't personally feel comfortable about it? "OHOHO TRIGGERED AGAIN, I SEE!!I LE PTSD TRIGGERED MEME XDDDDDDD" And so on, and so or. Reply

07-15-2016 18:47 AM nobody goes from zero to outraged faster than they do. Edited a lolicon scene out of a Japanese game to make it more accessible in the West? "CENSORSHIP!!! F--- CENSORSHIP!!! FEMINAZIS GET OUT REEEEEEEE" Put an openly homosexual character in a game who isn't a slutty lesbian for the teens to clasp their hairy palms over? "GET THAT LGBT FAGGOTRY OUT!! GAY MAFIA! RAARGH!" Somebody points out that they don't think a graphic r--- scene is necessary for a particular game, and that they don't personally feel comfortable about it? "OHOHO TRIGGERED AGAIN, I SEE!!I LE PTSD TRIGGERED MEME XDDDDDDD" And so on, and so or. Reply

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Colgate Max White For Men

tofu t--- @bastorena 10h LADIES do NOT buy this! This is for MEN. The peppermint is TOO powerful for our fragile feminine teeth & lady mouths coigate POWERFUL STAIN REMOVAL FOR MEN POWER PEPPERMINT

tofu t--- @bastorena 10h LADIES do NOT buy this! This is for MEN. The peppermint is TOO powerful for our fragile feminine teeth & lady mouths coigate POWERFUL STAIN REMOVAL FOR MEN POWER PEPPERMINT

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Some Women Are Not For Decoration

ARE NOT DECORATI SOME funny.ce

ARE NOT DECORATI SOME funny.ce

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Top 10 Causes of Violence

なな L-Follow Foll Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny Here are the top ten causes of violence 1. Men 2. Men 3. Men 4. Men 5. Men 6. Men 7. Men 8. Men 9. Men 10. Men RETWEETS LIKES 13 34 6:05 PM 16 Jun 2016 £713 34

なな L-Follow Foll Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny Here are the top ten causes of violence 1. Men 2. Men 3. Men 4. Men 5. Men 6. Men 7. Men 8. Men 9. Men 10. Men RETWEETS LIKES 13 34 6:05 PM 16 Jun 2016 £713 34

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You're Doing Feminism Wrong

YOURE DOINGFEMINISMWRONG LOL LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE

YOURE DOINGFEMINISMWRONG LOL LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE

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Queen Victoria 1 and Feminism

"I am most anxious to enlist everyone who can speak or write to join in checking this mad, wicked folly of Women's Rights', with all its attendant horrors, on which her poor feeble sex is bent, forgetting every sense of womanly feelings and propriety. Feminists ought to get a good whipping. Were woman to 'unsex' themselves by claiming equality with men, they would become the most hateful, heathen and disgusting of beings and would surely perish without male protection." Queen Empress Victoria I, the most powerful woman in history

"I am most anxious to enlist everyone who can speak or write to join in checking this mad, wicked folly of Women's Rights', with all its attendant horrors, on which her poor feeble sex is bent, forgetting every sense of womanly feelings and propriety. Feminists ought to get a good whipping. Were woman to 'unsex' themselves by claiming equality with men, they would become the most hateful, heathen and disgusting of beings and would surely perish without male protection." Queen Empress Victoria I, the most powerful woman in history

queen victoria empress history anxious enlish everyone mad wicked folly women's rights horrors poor feeble sex bent sense womanly feelings propriety feminists whipping woman unsex equality men become most hateful heaten disgusting perish without male protection women's suffrage movement: a reference guide 1866–1928 foreseen future third-wave feminism

How Feminism should be

non-Heterosexual-WOmB ans WOmen Women-of all body typ

non-Heterosexual-WOmB ans WOmen Women-of all body typ

feminism superheroes

Evolution of Feminism

HunanRigh iniim at

HunanRigh iniim at

Winter Feminist

HIM: Mission Report December 16, 1991 HER: What l? HIM: Sexism, Body Image, Patriarchy, Equal Rights, Butthurt, Fat Ass, R---, Opression, Kitchen, Feminazi, Cake T R I G G E R E D WINTER FEMINIS

HIM: Mission Report December 16, 1991 HER: What l? HIM: Sexism, Body Image, Patriarchy, Equal Rights, Butthurt, Fat Ass, R---, Opression, Kitchen, Feminazi, Cake T R I G G E R E D WINTER FEMINIS

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This is a review of The Angry Birds Movie, by the way.

* What the heck is this? Some sort of al statement attempting to Maybe men shouldn't make movies.. Full Review... May 16, 2016 MaryAnn Johanson

* What the heck is this? Some sort of al statement attempting to Maybe men shouldn't make movies.. Full Review... May 16, 2016 MaryAnn Johanson

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Wants justice for all women / wants to kill heterosexuality and put all men in concentration camps

WANTS JUSTICE FOR ALL WOMEN WANTS TO KILL HETEROSEXUALITY AND PUT ALL MEN IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS

WANTS JUSTICE FOR ALL WOMEN WANTS TO KILL HETEROSEXUALITY AND PUT ALL MEN IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS

feminazi julie bindel

Sure, why not?

I'm stardirg here in my ingene because I'm a NADO man who enpys weanng erie and many many other things nts and lrak the d actualily happened) Cactua s (actuai Iyies yhat arent ro HiP Rap (See you nest time THE ST

I'm stardirg here in my ingene because I'm a NADO man who enpys weanng erie and many many other things nts and lrak the d actualily happened) Cactua s (actuai Iyies yhat arent ro HiP Rap (See you nest time THE ST

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A Comprehensive List

A Comprehensive List of Things CENSORED from Video Games Thanks to the Independent Thought Police Bayonetta Honorable Mention 2 certain ferminists ran a Beric ionalematic desain tial mano “ Bravely Default aiready being raned M Bkini was censared in the of Bravely Deaut h with a less revealing costume that covered Edeals hips and cleavage Dragon's Crown Honorable Mention In 2013 Seminists heavly criticaed the character design for the Sonceress in the P53 game Dragan's Crown because her t--- re too big. Sony T FOR TEENS! ome crciam, and it got extrumey low painds in oma Final Fantasy XV Honorable Mention Fatal Frame 5 n 2015 two altemative coshames Decause binis ane evd and must be purped, they Slave Leia 'Dteney already wva an 's way to wpng aut the 'aLuvu, outfit hoe any fatu products period You mu NOT Scott Campbell Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 Fortune a The game creators at Tearn Ninja anmounced it wil Street Fighter V In 2015 R. NRa'sb aunt pale our Nut thy Overirdimno appease In 2016 feminists susessfally pslied Yotyjo Siiator eem osive" evews. Feminiss criicized the gits gym sherts remova ad Sinuator 3015 however the S Xenoblade Chronicles X n 2015 feminists sucesafully inimidaed Various Games by Compile Heart le 2015 Haru Akenaga, presiden of dea Factory said that Comple Heart ganes pn the westl We don't war te censor [ow games) anymore because we know犰at's ot m" to the Rather than censor their games to avoid cries of misogyny and sexism, dea Factory would rather not release their games to Blade & Soul Amang ether things, ahumerous side-quest in Blade& Soa press frem NPC ho was r---- in prisen, besame iepatent, and goes This side quest was rewriten so saudy ing the culture of the Lycandi In the and he reeets a female scharand begins to learn about hee calture from her. All thingesecual (and humorousi were removed from Hatred Gawkar drones blegped, bweeted, and cried nonstop until entierly from Soam They would heve won too, had Oaben not evenbualy put the game the asspained &Ws k onto Steem and apologiced on Gladiator In December 2015 sWs atacked stuide PanTrans Garees for their latest ste Trans Giadiator because they believed the word "trans was hate spench. The barrage of death heans and legai mrats from S.ws prompted the developer to pul the action RPG from Stoas Greanlight Dut SJWs can'tbe blaned for this awent since the daveloper cansared hinself, and wasnt influenced byJWs in any way Grand Theft Auto V· 。 and potisoned to get nee ntendtathesen Fire Emblem Fates/Conquest Bravely Second HETERONORMATIVE RELATIONSHIPS TRIGGER ME! In Fabruary 2016 ravely Second wa heavly censored for weatern were characters died were removed from the gane, farcing playes to Star Ocean 5 Recently here's been a trend in garmes where if you pu out a cheracter that shows t ef skin, leter on you might have to make a let ef revisions, "athough she's arotie, there's nolot of skin sheeing is the feelieg you get Fiore uses a lot of displayed eresns on her skin to cest curses. That was part of her setting Recenty, there's been teens in "sonar underwear ir's not good Se wo increased MA-tex-W, Gane Designee Akira Yasuda directly caused to let 5JWs asssa know how hey feel about wastera infuence Overwatch March 2016, te samo day 8tr 0eeen 5 was eensored. a sigle BJw on the elebard forms named Fipps eormplained abo overtly sewual victory pose needed to ga Gane Dieector Jeff Kaplan apologized for triggering Fipps and making hie feel uncomfortable and the pose was renoved. The Blazand fonume enupted into chaos, prompting Kaplan to take back everything he said and pretend that the removal was Feminist a Ovenwatch af being sesist Back in 2014 becauss af skin sght THANKS, FEMINISTS!

A Comprehensive List of Things CENSORED from Video Games Thanks to the Independent Thought Police Bayonetta Honorable Mention 2 certain ferminists ran a Beric ionalematic desain tial mano “ Bravely Default aiready being raned M Bkini was censared in the of Bravely Deaut h with a less revealing costume that covered Edeals hips and cleavage Dragon's Crown Honorable Mention In 2013 Seminists heavly criticaed the character design for the Sonceress in the P53 game Dragan's Crown because her t--- re too big. Sony T FOR TEENS! ome crciam, and it got extrumey low painds in oma Final Fantasy XV Honorable Mention Fatal Frame 5 n 2015 two altemative coshames Decause binis ane evd and must be purped, they Slave Leia 'Dteney already wva an 's way to wpng aut the 'aLuvu, outfit hoe any fatu products period You mu NOT Scott Campbell Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 Fortune a The game creators at Tearn Ninja anmounced it wil Street Fighter V In 2015 R. NRa'sb aunt pale our Nut thy Overirdimno appease In 2016 feminists susessfally pslied Yotyjo Siiator eem osive" evews. Feminiss criicized the gits gym sherts remova ad Sinuator 3015 however the S Xenoblade Chronicles X n 2015 feminists sucesafully inimidaed Various Games by Compile Heart le 2015 Haru Akenaga, presiden of dea Factory said that Comple Heart ganes pn the westl We don't war te censor [ow games) anymore because we know犰at's ot m" to the Rather than censor their games to avoid cries of misogyny and sexism, dea Factory would rather not release their games to Blade & Soul Amang ether things, ahumerous side-quest in Blade& Soa press frem NPC ho was r---- in prisen, besame iepatent, and goes This side quest was rewriten so saudy ing the culture of the Lycandi In the and he reeets a female scharand begins to learn about hee calture from her. All thingesecual (and humorousi were removed from Hatred Gawkar drones blegped, bweeted, and cried nonstop until entierly from Soam They would heve won too, had Oaben not evenbualy put the game the asspained &Ws k onto Steem and apologiced on Gladiator In December 2015 sWs atacked stuide PanTrans Garees for their latest ste Trans Giadiator because they believed the word "trans was hate spench. The barrage of death heans and legai mrats from S.ws prompted the developer to pul the action RPG from Stoas Greanlight Dut SJWs can'tbe blaned for this awent since the daveloper cansared hinself, and wasnt influenced byJWs in any way Grand Theft Auto V· 。 and potisoned to get nee ntendtathesen Fire Emblem Fates/Conquest Bravely Second HETERONORMATIVE RELATIONSHIPS TRIGGER ME! In Fabruary 2016 ravely Second wa heavly censored for weatern were characters died were removed from the gane, farcing playes to Star Ocean 5 Recently here's been a trend in garmes where if you pu out a cheracter that shows t ef skin, leter on you might have to make a let ef revisions, "athough she's arotie, there's nolot of skin sheeing is the feelieg you get Fiore uses a lot of displayed eresns on her skin to cest curses. That was part of her setting Recenty, there's been teens in "sonar underwear ir's not good Se wo increased MA-tex-W, Gane Designee Akira Yasuda directly caused to let 5JWs asssa know how hey feel about wastera infuence Overwatch March 2016, te samo day 8tr 0eeen 5 was eensored. a sigle BJw on the elebard forms named Fipps eormplained abo overtly sewual victory pose needed to ga Gane Dieector Jeff Kaplan apologized for triggering Fipps and making hie feel uncomfortable and the pose was renoved. The Blazand fonume enupted into chaos, prompting Kaplan to take back everything he said and pretend that the removal was Feminist a Ovenwatch af being sesist Back in 2014 becauss af skin sght THANKS, FEMINISTS!

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Since no one here posted the book burner's reply...

ng agE .111 36% 5:05 PM LTE + Follow stoner-alien tumblr Blys like girls guys lik who.. grts Who. CHAD EASTHAM EASTHAM mernermahmernermahner rose-for-a-tenner: Actually when I was younger, my mom gave me this book and it teac worry about what guys think of them. It really helped 12 year old me. The end of the book says "guys like girls who like themselves." The title is meant to catch the attention of self-loathing teenage girls because they're the ones who need to read it the most. So you all literally just judged a book by its cover. Go stand in the corner and think about what you did. hes young girls to love themselves before they The issue is that this book still imposes the idea that women have t conform to what males think is best for women. It ignores queer an non heterinormative identities. Sure, there might be positivity in the book, but it seeks to control women to a standard. BURN DOWN THE PATRIARCHY ty man thm NOV 11 | VIA | 309633 |REBLOG

ng agE .111 36% 5:05 PM LTE + Follow stoner-alien tumblr Blys like girls guys lik who.. grts Who. CHAD EASTHAM EASTHAM mernermahmernermahner rose-for-a-tenner: Actually when I was younger, my mom gave me this book and it teac worry about what guys think of them. It really helped 12 year old me. The end of the book says "guys like girls who like themselves." The title is meant to catch the attention of self-loathing teenage girls because they're the ones who need to read it the most. So you all literally just judged a book by its cover. Go stand in the corner and think about what you did. hes young girls to love themselves before they The issue is that this book still imposes the idea that women have t conform to what males think is best for women. It ignores queer an non heterinormative identities. Sure, there might be positivity in the book, but it seeks to control women to a standard. BURN DOWN THE PATRIARCHY ty man thm NOV 11 | VIA | 309633 |REBLOG

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I am now feminist :D

professional-shitpostingwaltercronkitesmustache minasecorp just a note on that last post though, you can be feminist without actually owning a grenade launcher. many feminists cannot afford grenade launchers and choose to rent them from other, more powerful feminists, and thats ok! its even acceptable to just have a really big gun or a helicopter. its important to remember that grenade launchers are not a prerequisite of feminism, but only a common aspect. 25,263 notes ロッ

professional-shitpostingwaltercronkitesmustache minasecorp just a note on that last post though, you can be feminist without actually owning a grenade launcher. many feminists cannot afford grenade launchers and choose to rent them from other, more powerful feminists, and thats ok! its even acceptable to just have a really big gun or a helicopter. its important to remember that grenade launchers are not a prerequisite of feminism, but only a common aspect. 25,263 notes ロッ

feminism grenadelaunchers grenade launcher

Tumblr (i can't think of anything original)

feminist: all women deserve to have an independent opinion and a voice! lady: I'm not a feminist feminist: wait no funny.ce

feminist: all women deserve to have an independent opinion and a voice! lady: I'm not a feminist feminist: wait no funny.ce

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SJW satire comic

OISDAIN4 PIZZA 2.0o STSP BEING A LARD.OHonsEbob umBo. 66 BERNE.... LU.s AR It's YOUR fault I only make 15 dollars an hour working at Rick Ronalds! I spent 4 years on my gender studies degree, and the patriarchy STILL finds a way to keep me down

OISDAIN4 PIZZA 2.0o STSP BEING A LARD.OHonsEbob umBo. 66 BERNE.... LU.s AR It's YOUR fault I only make 15 dollars an hour working at Rick Ronalds! I spent 4 years on my gender studies degree, and the patriarchy STILL finds a way to keep me down

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Tumblr: The Last Agender

NICKELODEON 除套示申通. UMBL THE LAST GEN DER VEL TRUTHSBEN DER STARRING KORRJEAN DRINKSODA

NICKELODEON 除套示申通. UMBL THE LAST GEN DER VEL TRUTHSBEN DER STARRING KORRJEAN DRINKSODA

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Feminism: Letting your wife bang other dudes

Marriage Taught One Man About Feminism As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It's her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she'l come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex. I won't explode with anger or seethe with resentment. Ill tell her it's a hot story and I'm glad she had fun. It's hot because she's excited, and I'm glad because I'm a Before my wife started sleeping with other men, I certainly considered myself a feminist, but I really only understood it in the abstract. When I quit working to stay at home with the kids, I began to understand it on a coping with the withering drudgery of child-rearing. Now that I understand the reality of that situation, I don't blame women fo themselves than the life of the housewife. Still, as a man, I could, if I wanted to, portray what I'm doing as work and thus claim for myself the prestige men traditionally derive from work."Whenever I tell someone I stay home with the kids, they invariably say, "Hardest work in the world. They say this because the only way to account for a man at home with the kids is to say what he's doing is hard work. But there's a subtest in the compliment that malkes it backhanded We both know no one ever says it to a woman. Mothers care tathers provide care. The difference is crucial. Despite my total withdrawal economy and the traditional sources of still argueI In this way, my masculine self-image was stretched but not broken. Diaper bag one evening that she'd kissed another man and liked it and wanted to do more than kiss next time that I realized how my status as a Man depended on a single fact: that my wife f----- only me. I was still a Man. It wasn't until my wife mentioned When people ask how it started, I say this: We married young. She'd had sex before me, but only with a handful of people a handful of times. She never had a boyfriend, never had a lover. I was the first man she ever had the chance to get to know intimately. By her mid-30s, having already had our children and entering her sexual prime, she felt keenly her lack of sexual experience. Happily for me, she was willing to talk about it, willing to ask if I'd be open to exploring other options. We opened a bottle of wine and started talking, and talking, and talking She didn't present it as an issue of feminism to me, but after much soul why the idea of my with other men s-studies major about it patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man's fear that a woman with sexual agency is a intellect or their spirit or their ability to bear children. We are afraid that when it comes time for sex, they won't choose us. This petty fear has led us as a culture to place judgments on the entire spectrum of female sexual expression: If a woman likes sex, she's a ㆌ ore and a slut; if she only likes sex with her husband or boyfriend, she's boring and lame; if she doesn't like sex at all, she's frigid and unfeeling. Every option is a trap. can't control. We aren't afraid of their Feminism always comes back to sex, even when we 're talking about everything else. The point isn't that all women should be sexual The point is that it should be women who choose, not men- even the men they're married to. For my wife, the choice between honoring our vows and fulfilling her desires was a false choice, another trap. She knew how deep our love was, and knew that her wanting a variety of sexual experiences as we traveled through life together would not diminish or disrupt that love. It took me about six months many long, intense conversations, and an ocean of red wine before I knew it, too. When my wife told me she wanted to open our marriage and take other t rejecting me, she was That was two years ago, and today we've never been happier, more in tune, t I tell everyone it works for us. How does it work? We take turns going out. Because we have small children (ages 6 and 3), one of us stays home. (We don't like to use out at worTy hooking up with others and, yes, I too enjoy sexual carte blanche. I just don't use mine as much as my wife uses hers. What's important is equality of opportunity, not was an easy transition. It does work both How does it feel? It feels great... mostly, Most of the time, it feels like a mature, responsible way to address our needs and desires within our loving, mutually supportive marriage. It feels very adult, especially because it depends on open, honest communication. We take great pride in all the talling we married because they don't want to get divorced, and hearing it always do. I meet a are cutting themselves off from the of the magic that happens when two people share their lives. People don't can't stand sharing anymore; they divorce because they feel lilke they cant share enough. I never forget that my wife is a whole are together, we're not one. Too often people get trapped in the roles of husband and wife, and a gulf opens between what they think they should be and who they really are. Opening our marriage bas allowed us to close I call wife" is the same person my wife sees in the mirror. Lying to each other begins with lying to yourself, and now we don't have to lie to anyone. Recently, my wife went on a date and fell asleep at his apartment. I hadnt heard from her since 10 p.m, she still wasn't home at 6 a.m. My texts went unanswered and my calls went to voicemail. A tight knot of dread lodged in my stomach as I imagined all kinds of dire scenarios and realized that I not only didn't know where she was,I had no idea whom she was with. I pictured myself goin名to the police saying, "I think she's in Red Hook with a guy named Ryan. I don't know his last name, but I think he's a graphic designer?" Im not sure there's actually a word for the unique blend of acute terror and unforgivable shame I felt that morning imagining that Id lost my wife to Ryan, the maybe graphie designer. When she finally texted me at 7:30 am relief coursed through me like morphine. She wrote, I replied, "Just glad you're ok, but next time, no radio silence. Remember: you're not alone. What surprises most people is when I tell them it's not the sex-with-other- men that bothers me. The sex is the easy part, the fun part. It's what the sex connects to, stands for, reveals that can be difficult. I don't want her to fall in love with anyone else, and every time she goes on a date, I confront the possibálity that she might. It happened at the beginning:The first person she dated after we opened up fell hard in love with ber, and my wife, overwhelmed by his ardor, tried to love him back. Watching it happen, I was confused, angry, and terrified that she wanted to leave me She assured me she didn't, and whatever feelings she had for him didnt lessen what she felt for me. Believing her then was the ultimate trust exercise. We survived because eventually I did blieve her, and also This has been the great challenge of my open marriage: to draw strength from vulnerability. Doing so requires supreme self-confidence. You must first love is built. From everywhere comes the message that what I'm doing is for weaklings, losers, failures, p------; that if I had money and status, I could keep my wife "in line"; that her of my self-esteem. My open marriage has made heavy demands on my ability to silence the voice of doubt in my head, that gnawing feeling of worthlessness. But I find I can meet those demands, and that I am able to all possess. I'm grateful to my wife for pushing us to take this leap, and whatever happens to us in the future I would do it all again. And when she comes home tonight and crawls into bed beside me with a hot story about her date with Paulo, she'll do it all again, too. n upon which al the other ny more than the basic dignity we

Marriage Taught One Man About Feminism As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It's her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she'l come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex. I won't explode with anger or seethe with resentment. Ill tell her it's a hot story and I'm glad she had fun. It's hot because she's excited, and I'm glad because I'm a Before my wife started sleeping with other men, I certainly considered myself a feminist, but I really only understood it in the abstract. When I quit working to stay at home with the kids, I began to understand it on a coping with the withering drudgery of child-rearing. Now that I understand the reality of that situation, I don't blame women fo themselves than the life of the housewife. Still, as a man, I could, if I wanted to, portray what I'm doing as work and thus claim for myself the prestige men traditionally derive from work."Whenever I tell someone I stay home with the kids, they invariably say, "Hardest work in the world. They say this because the only way to account for a man at home with the kids is to say what he's doing is hard work. But there's a subtest in the compliment that malkes it backhanded We both know no one ever says it to a woman. Mothers care tathers provide care. The difference is crucial. Despite my total withdrawal economy and the traditional sources of still argueI In this way, my masculine self-image was stretched but not broken. Diaper bag one evening that she'd kissed another man and liked it and wanted to do more than kiss next time that I realized how my status as a Man depended on a single fact: that my wife f----- only me. I was still a Man. It wasn't until my wife mentioned When people ask how it started, I say this: We married young. She'd had sex before me, but only with a handful of people a handful of times. She never had a boyfriend, never had a lover. I was the first man she ever had the chance to get to know intimately. By her mid-30s, having already had our children and entering her sexual prime, she felt keenly her lack of sexual experience. Happily for me, she was willing to talk about it, willing to ask if I'd be open to exploring other options. We opened a bottle of wine and started talking, and talking, and talking She didn't present it as an issue of feminism to me, but after much soul why the idea of my with other men s-studies major about it patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man's fear that a woman with sexual agency is a intellect or their spirit or their ability to bear children. We are afraid that when it comes time for sex, they won't choose us. This petty fear has led us as a culture to place judgments on the entire spectrum of female sexual expression: If a woman likes sex, she's a ㆌ ore and a slut; if she only likes sex with her husband or boyfriend, she's boring and lame; if she doesn't like sex at all, she's frigid and unfeeling. Every option is a trap. can't control. We aren't afraid of their Feminism always comes back to sex, even when we 're talking about everything else. The point isn't that all women should be sexual The point is that it should be women who choose, not men- even the men they're married to. For my wife, the choice between honoring our vows and fulfilling her desires was a false choice, another trap. She knew how deep our love was, and knew that her wanting a variety of sexual experiences as we traveled through life together would not diminish or disrupt that love. It took me about six months many long, intense conversations, and an ocean of red wine before I knew it, too. When my wife told me she wanted to open our marriage and take other t rejecting me, she was That was two years ago, and today we've never been happier, more in tune, t I tell everyone it works for us. How does it work? We take turns going out. Because we have small children (ages 6 and 3), one of us stays home. (We don't like to use out at worTy hooking up with others and, yes, I too enjoy sexual carte blanche. I just don't use mine as much as my wife uses hers. What's important is equality of opportunity, not was an easy transition. It does work both How does it feel? It feels great... mostly, Most of the time, it feels like a mature, responsible way to address our needs and desires within our loving, mutually supportive marriage. It feels very adult, especially because it depends on open, honest communication. We take great pride in all the talling we married because they don't want to get divorced, and hearing it always do. I meet a are cutting themselves off from the of the magic that happens when two people share their lives. People don't can't stand sharing anymore; they divorce because they feel lilke they cant share enough. I never forget that my wife is a whole are together, we're not one. Too often people get trapped in the roles of husband and wife, and a gulf opens between what they think they should be and who they really are. Opening our marriage bas allowed us to close I call wife" is the same person my wife sees in the mirror. Lying to each other begins with lying to yourself, and now we don't have to lie to anyone. Recently, my wife went on a date and fell asleep at his apartment. I hadnt heard from her since 10 p.m, she still wasn't home at 6 a.m. My texts went unanswered and my calls went to voicemail. A tight knot of dread lodged in my stomach as I imagined all kinds of dire scenarios and realized that I not only didn't know where she was,I had no idea whom she was with. I pictured myself goin名to the police saying, "I think she's in Red Hook with a guy named Ryan. I don't know his last name, but I think he's a graphic designer?" Im not sure there's actually a word for the unique blend of acute terror and unforgivable shame I felt that morning imagining that Id lost my wife to Ryan, the maybe graphie designer. When she finally texted me at 7:30 am relief coursed through me like morphine. She wrote, I replied, "Just glad you're ok, but next time, no radio silence. Remember: you're not alone. What surprises most people is when I tell them it's not the sex-with-other- men that bothers me. The sex is the easy part, the fun part. It's what the sex connects to, stands for, reveals that can be difficult. I don't want her to fall in love with anyone else, and every time she goes on a date, I confront the possibálity that she might. It happened at the beginning:The first person she dated after we opened up fell hard in love with ber, and my wife, overwhelmed by his ardor, tried to love him back. Watching it happen, I was confused, angry, and terrified that she wanted to leave me She assured me she didn't, and whatever feelings she had for him didnt lessen what she felt for me. Believing her then was the ultimate trust exercise. We survived because eventually I did blieve her, and also This has been the great challenge of my open marriage: to draw strength from vulnerability. Doing so requires supreme self-confidence. You must first love is built. From everywhere comes the message that what I'm doing is for weaklings, losers, failures, p------; that if I had money and status, I could keep my wife "in line"; that her of my self-esteem. My open marriage has made heavy demands on my ability to silence the voice of doubt in my head, that gnawing feeling of worthlessness. But I find I can meet those demands, and that I am able to all possess. I'm grateful to my wife for pushing us to take this leap, and whatever happens to us in the future I would do it all again. And when she comes home tonight and crawls into bed beside me with a hot story about her date with Paulo, she'll do it all again, too. n upon which al the other ny more than the basic dignity we

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