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But who else will listen to me quote from those things? | /r/Greentext

1552856629200.png 48 KB PNG >when a guy whose hobbies are purely entertainment consumption (TV, movies, anime, music, video games, 4chan, etc.) says he wants a girlfriend Seriously. Why would you want to torture some innocent girl with your boring life?
1552856629200.png 48 KB PNG >when a guy whose hobbies are purely entertainment consumption (TV, movies, anime, music, video games, 4chan, etc.) says he wants a girlfriend Seriously. Why would you want to torture some innocent girl with your boring life?

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Titta (10 characters min limit is limiting) | /r/Greentext

File: laiva.jpg (55 KB, 552x438) VIKING LINE Anonymous 11/19/15(Thu)19:54:31 No.50979876 >>50979912 >>50980293 >>50980300 >>50980498 >>50980864 >>50981200 >>50981434 >>50981682 >>50984801 >Be at Swedish ship cruise >haven't defecated in a week week >s--- at least three giant python in the toilet >try to flush >not working.jpg >panic > try to flush again but s--- doesn't flush >look for a cleaner lady in the hallway >Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner, and take her to the bathroom >try to flush and say "titta" (watch in english) while push flush button >s--- goes quite normally away to sewer DOPAMEME APP TITTA. SLOSH
File: laiva.jpg (55 KB, 552x438) VIKING LINE Anonymous 11/19/15(Thu)19:54:31 No.50979876 >>50979912 >>50980293 >>50980300 >>50980498 >>50980864 >>50981200 >>50981434 >>50981682 >>50984801 >Be at Swedish ship cruise >haven't defecated in a week week >s--- at least three giant python in the toilet >try to flush >not working.jpg >panic > try to flush again but s--- doesn't flush >look for a cleaner lady in the hallway >Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner, and take her to the bathroom >try to flush and say "titta" (watch in english) while push flush button >s--- goes quite normally away to sewer DOPAMEME APP TITTA. SLOSH

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anon is a Brazilian incel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous > 05/23/24(Thu)13:10:50 No.197657083 maxresdefault.jpg 199 KB JPG >One shot at life >Born an incel in the land of bunda
Anonymous > 05/23/24(Thu)13:10:50 No.197657083 maxresdefault.jpg 199 KB JPG >One shot at life >Born an incel in the land of bunda

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Spingebill | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/06/24(Thu)17:30:43 No.77745115 458 KB PNG >The Bikini Bottom has fallen >Billions must Fry Le
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/06/24(Thu)17:30:43 No.77745115 458 KB PNG >The Bikini Bottom has fallen >Billions must Fry Le

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Bear got picked over anon | /r/Greentext

3h (06/06/24 10:45) 77742885.5 Re - 2 Img JPG 32KB (313x500) 51uVHBEB+VL.jpg 5 Replies M&S WINNER OF THE GOVERNOR GENERAL'S LITERARY AWARD FOR FICTION MARIAN ENGEL BEAR >Women: "Those creepy incels and their disgusting hentai." >Also women
3h (06/06/24 10:45) 77742885.5 Re - 2 Img JPG 32KB (313x500) 51uVHBEB+VL.jpg 5 Replies M&S WINNER OF THE GOVERNOR GENERAL'S LITERARY AWARD FOR FICTION MARIAN ENGEL BEAR >Women: "Those creepy incels and their disgusting hentai." >Also women

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>bee anon | /r/Greentext

File: wojak-thinking.png (120 KB, 676x682) ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)07:12:09 No.74435931 [Reply] >>74439039 If bees worked out would their abs be hexagonal shaped? + 7 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)19:16:07 No.74438979 >>74435996 I love bees ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)19:23:04 No.74439039 File: IMG 0919.jpg (202 KB, 1920x1920) >>74435931 (OP) >be bee >10k flaps a day >one flower a day >lost over 2 grams >>74439594 >>74439698 >abs still covered by the exoskeleton Is it over for me beeros? I'll always be worker bee cuck. I'll never get to impregnate the queen. Stacebee has never even looked at me ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)20:41:29 No.74439594 File: WAGMH.jpg (45 KB, 460x710) WE THE AU GRING TO MAKE IT >>74439039 Just Beelieve in yourself :) WAGMH (Were all gunna make honey) Anonymous 06/06/24 (Thu)20:55:10 No.74439698 >>74439039 Made for big hornet c---
File: wojak-thinking.png (120 KB, 676x682) ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)07:12:09 No.74435931 [Reply] >>74439039 If bees worked out would their abs be hexagonal shaped? + 7 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)19:16:07 No.74438979 >>74435996 I love bees ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)19:23:04 No.74439039 File: IMG 0919.jpg (202 KB, 1920x1920) >>74435931 (OP) >be bee >10k flaps a day >one flower a day >lost over 2 grams >>74439594 >>74439698 >abs still covered by the exoskeleton Is it over for me beeros? I'll always be worker bee cuck. I'll never get to impregnate the queen. Stacebee has never even looked at me ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)20:41:29 No.74439594 File: WAGMH.jpg (45 KB, 460x710) WE THE AU GRING TO MAKE IT >>74439039 Just Beelieve in yourself :) WAGMH (Were all gunna make honey) Anonymous 06/06/24 (Thu)20:55:10 No.74439698 >>74439039 Made for big hornet c---

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Anon is unemployed | /r/Greentext

>There is a labor shortage >Apply for job >Not hiring @Sundaeys
>There is a labor shortage >Apply for job >Not hiring @Sundaeys

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Just take a bus anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous fear of driving 100 KB JPG 06/06/24(Thu)21:29:23 No.77741960 >want to experience a relationship and have kids while I'm relatively young >insanely hot girl I met online wants me to impregnate her >is real, has sent voice and pics >same country and I think we'd get along irl >but have no way of acting on it because I never got my license I thought I'd feel agonizing regret if this actually happened, but at this point I'm used to life screwing me over. Even if I start working to get my license asap she'll probably find another guy... sigh
: Anonymous fear of driving 100 KB JPG 06/06/24(Thu)21:29:23 No.77741960 >want to experience a relationship and have kids while I'm relatively young >insanely hot girl I met online wants me to impregnate her >is real, has sent voice and pics >same country and I think we'd get along irl >but have no way of acting on it because I never got my license I thought I'd feel agonizing regret if this actually happened, but at this point I'm used to life screwing me over. Even if I start working to get my license asap she'll probably find another guy... sigh

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Anon describes music | /r/Greentext

135 KB JPG Country music: >"I saw bigfoot by the river, yee- haw m-----------, imma f--- my sister" Metal: >"my ex dumped me cause I spent all my money on Monster and I cried like a bitch" *guitar solo kicks in* *screaming intensifies* Rock: >"I f----- more bitches and did more coke then Hugh Hefner and Charlie Sheen" *stage diving intensifies* Modern pop music: >"eat ass and believe in yourself. get creampied by 60 guys in one hour, but remember- you can do anything you want to, girl. The sky is the limit" Mumble rap: >"yo bitch on the block (yuhh) >"she gon suck my c--- (Gucci) >"I roll up with the glock (brrrt) >"in my new Bugatti (esketit) Drake: >"I just want my mommy (mommy)" >"Got cummies in my tummy (tummy) >"she text me say she horny (horny)" >"I'm too shy to touch her p---- (p----)
135 KB JPG Country music: >"I saw bigfoot by the river, yee- haw m-----------, imma f--- my sister" Metal: >"my ex dumped me cause I spent all my money on Monster and I cried like a bitch" *guitar solo kicks in* *screaming intensifies* Rock: >"I f----- more bitches and did more coke then Hugh Hefner and Charlie Sheen" *stage diving intensifies* Modern pop music: >"eat ass and believe in yourself. get creampied by 60 guys in one hour, but remember- you can do anything you want to, girl. The sky is the limit" Mumble rap: >"yo bitch on the block (yuhh) >"she gon suck my c--- (Gucci) >"I roll up with the glock (brrrt) >"in my new Bugatti (esketit) Drake: >"I just want my mommy (mommy)" >"Got cummies in my tummy (tummy) >"she text me say she horny (horny)" >"I'm too shy to touch her p---- (p----)

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Anon has a college meet and greet | /r/Greentext

48 KB JPG >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand
48 KB JPG >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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Anon is a pussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB PNG 06/05/24(Wed)17:38:01 No.77728832 >be me, white 21 yr old khv 6'3 >thought I was incel cuz never left the house >go to college for one semester and get asked out by desi girl >imo qt, thin, wears glasses, nice smile >I immediately say yes >show her to my friends via pic and they all call her ugly and say I can do better >haven't been on first date yet >I start losing interest as well despite yearning for love my whole life what do I do bros? why the f--- would they even do this to me? am I a p------------? where did my ego to lose interest in her even f------ come from? 3 Replies 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 23 KB PNG 06/05/24(Wed)17:38:01 No.77728832 >be me, white 21 yr old khv 6'3 >thought I was incel cuz never left the house >go to college for one semester and get asked out by desi girl >imo qt, thin, wears glasses, nice smile >I immediately say yes >show her to my friends via pic and they all call her ugly and say I can do better >haven't been on first date yet >I start losing interest as well despite yearning for love my whole life what do I do bros? why the f--- would they even do this to me? am I a p------------? where did my ego to lose interest in her even f------ come from? 3 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is rejected | /r/Greentext

Barg #1, No. 77738569 6/6/24 12:07:21 AM 1717656555019722 PNG 600x600 147.7 kB >job i interviewed at calls me back and says they went foward with another candidate >i reply "there will be consequences" and hang up wagie status:owned #2, No. 77739341 6/6/24 2:31:38 AM >be me >tasked with finding a suitable candidate for an open janitor position at our business >really not that hard, we just ask that you have a high school diploma and no criminal record >huge, absolute refrigerator of a man waddles into our office >didn't apply online, hands me a stained resume written in pencil >breathing heavily the entire time while staring at the picture of my kids on my desk >no employment history, just wrote "please" and "airfryer" down >jesus f------ christ >ffw to today, call him back to let him know the position has been filled >he stammers out "t-there w.. there will be cons-" >"sorry, what did you say?" >he hangs up
Barg #1, No. 77738569 6/6/24 12:07:21 AM 1717656555019722 PNG 600x600 147.7 kB >job i interviewed at calls me back and says they went foward with another candidate >i reply "there will be consequences" and hang up wagie status:owned #2, No. 77739341 6/6/24 2:31:38 AM >be me >tasked with finding a suitable candidate for an open janitor position at our business >really not that hard, we just ask that you have a high school diploma and no criminal record >huge, absolute refrigerator of a man waddles into our office >didn't apply online, hands me a stained resume written in pencil >breathing heavily the entire time while staring at the picture of my kids on my desk >no employment history, just wrote "please" and "airfryer" down >jesus f------ christ >ffw to today, call him back to let him know the position has been filled >he stammers out "t-there w.. there will be cons-" >"sorry, what did you say?" >he hangs up

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Bad idea.. | /r/Greentext

>Thoroughly wash my face, use shitloads of different products and scrubs to the point its sqeaky clean >Next morning the entire face is covered in painful zits and pimples
>Thoroughly wash my face, use shitloads of different products and scrubs to the point its sqeaky clean >Next morning the entire face is covered in painful zits and pimples

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Anon doesn't like Team Fortress 2 | /r/Greentext

File: heavy_guy.png (569 KB, 1080x709) ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)01:39:33 No.678746539 >>678746989 >>678749242 >>678749750 >>678750103 >>678750341 >>678750531 >>678751272 >>678751526 >>678751529 >>678751547 >>678751728 >>678752291 >PLEASE VALVE-SAMA FIX MY GERIATRIC 17 YEAR OLD MEMEGAME AND REMOVE THE EVIL BOTS! PLEAAASE I BEG YOU! It's never gonna happen, TF2 is DEAD! Let it go. Move on.
File: heavy_guy.png (569 KB, 1080x709) ☐ Anonymous 06/06/24(Thu)01:39:33 No.678746539 >>678746989 >>678749242 >>678749750 >>678750103 >>678750341 >>678750531 >>678751272 >>678751526 >>678751529 >>678751547 >>678751728 >>678752291 >PLEASE VALVE-SAMA FIX MY GERIATRIC 17 YEAR OLD MEMEGAME AND REMOVE THE EVIL BOTS! PLEAAASE I BEG YOU! It's never gonna happen, TF2 is DEAD! Let it go. Move on.

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Anon on tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 690 KB JPG liking my pictures 06/06/24(Thu)11:37:10 No.77738280 >be me, straight male >download tinder >swipe for 2 months >zero likes zero matches >Icantpossiblybethisugly.jpg >remove all filters and preferences >go to sleep >wake up to 100+ likes >initially disgusted by all the f------ >eventually come to the bittersweet realization that Im not a hideous monster because hundreds of men want to f--- me. I am disgusted but I do appreciate all the cutie patootie compliments fellas.
: Anonymous 690 KB JPG liking my pictures 06/06/24(Thu)11:37:10 No.77738280 >be me, straight male >download tinder >swipe for 2 months >zero likes zero matches >Icantpossiblybethisugly.jpg >remove all filters and preferences >go to sleep >wake up to 100+ likes >initially disgusted by all the f------ >eventually come to the bittersweet realization that Im not a hideous monster because hundreds of men want to f--- me. I am disgusted but I do appreciate all the cutie patootie compliments fellas.

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Maybe he was tired? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 64 KB JPG >mfw 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 11 Replies 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous 64 KB JPG >mfw 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 11 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Anon wants advice about getting a job | /r/Greentext

File: 1717623585795133.jpg (32 KB, 624x480) >no skills Anonymous 06/05/24(Wed)15:40:44 No.31392438 >>31392705 >>31392715 >>31392726 >>31393341 >31 >NEET for basically entire life >no high school or college education >dropped out of school in 9th grade >never worked >0 social skills >never had a face to face interaction with someone my own age throughout my teens and 20s >can't drive >have had probably fewer than 10 irl interactions within the past 20 years How do I get out of this? I've literally just played video games since dropping out of high school when I was 15. It was pretty fun but my parents' money is running out. How hard are 6 figure jobs to get?
File: 1717623585795133.jpg (32 KB, 624x480) >no skills Anonymous 06/05/24(Wed)15:40:44 No.31392438 >>31392705 >>31392715 >>31392726 >>31393341 >31 >NEET for basically entire life >no high school or college education >dropped out of school in 9th grade >never worked >0 social skills >never had a face to face interaction with someone my own age throughout my teens and 20s >can't drive >have had probably fewer than 10 irl interactions within the past 20 years How do I get out of this? I've literally just played video games since dropping out of high school when I was 15. It was pretty fun but my parents' money is running out. How hard are 6 figure jobs to get?

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Anon discovers both ends of the spectrum | /r/Greentext

2h (06/05/24 15:27) 919437881 5 Re 4 Img JPG 59KB (540 x 494) 1706992897867118.jpg 1 Reply >post a question in a thread >post starts getting a ton of replies >get overwhelmed and close the thread 2h (06/05/24 15:43) 919438574 GIF 6KB (220 × 184) 1691013273843181.gif >post a question in a thread >post gets no replies >get embarrassed and close the thread
2h (06/05/24 15:27) 919437881 5 Re 4 Img JPG 59KB (540 x 494) 1706992897867118.jpg 1 Reply >post a question in a thread >post starts getting a ton of replies >get overwhelmed and close the thread 2h (06/05/24 15:43) 919438574 GIF 6KB (220 × 184) 1691013273843181.gif >post a question in a thread >post gets no replies >get embarrassed and close the thread

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Literally the first act of Fight Club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 146 KB JPG 07/12/21 (Mon) 10:00:54 No.64534864 >Be me back in the 2016 election >Go to Trump rally >"I like Trump dude, he's definitely going to bring back the greatness of America, I fully support his decision of building that wall" >"That's why we are here bro, you seems like a cool dude, unlike those Hillary idiots, respect!" >feels good and a sense of belonging >Be there for a short while then leave >Go to Hillary rally >"I support her you know, she know exactly what this country problems is and she going to fix it. I hope she win and become America's first female president" >"Hell yeah man, she must win, you know, you are a good person, a true American to be here with us" >feels good and a sense of belonging >Being there for a short while then leave >Go home >Go to bed then sleep for the rest of the day I'm apolitical, I don't care about politics at all, I'm just a very lonely man, I wanted to be a part of something, I want people to love me... 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 146 KB JPG 07/12/21 (Mon) 10:00:54 No.64534864 >Be me back in the 2016 election >Go to Trump rally >"I like Trump dude, he's definitely going to bring back the greatness of America, I fully support his decision of building that wall" >"That's why we are here bro, you seems like a cool dude, unlike those Hillary idiots, respect!" >feels good and a sense of belonging >Be there for a short while then leave >Go to Hillary rally >"I support her you know, she know exactly what this country problems is and she going to fix it. I hope she win and become America's first female president" >"Hell yeah man, she must win, you know, you are a good person, a true American to be here with us" >feels good and a sense of belonging >Being there for a short while then leave >Go home >Go to bed then sleep for the rest of the day I'm apolitical, I don't care about politics at all, I'm just a very lonely man, I wanted to be a part of something, I want people to love me... 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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On The Road Again | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: XjNb3i70) Dashcam Videos ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/05/24(Wed)17:24:29 No.20467707 520 KB PNG UK Dashcams >Gets minorly inconvenienced by other driver >Unleashes unfathomable rage USA Dashcams >Car pulls out 1 mile ahead of cammer on rural road >Still crashes Russian Dashcams >Car explodes due to lack maintenance >Truck crashes into it at 60mph; also explodes >Asteroid hits the intersection >Nobody notices >0 deaths Chinese dashcams >Drives >45 people get crushed
Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: XjNb3i70) Dashcam Videos ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/05/24(Wed)17:24:29 No.20467707 520 KB PNG UK Dashcams >Gets minorly inconvenienced by other driver >Unleashes unfathomable rage USA Dashcams >Car pulls out 1 mile ahead of cammer on rural road >Still crashes Russian Dashcams >Car explodes due to lack maintenance >Truck crashes into it at 60mph; also explodes >Asteroid hits the intersection >Nobody notices >0 deaths Chinese dashcams >Drives >45 people get crushed

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