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Anon's Therapist Recommends Him a Site | /r/Greentext

File: i_coom_i_die_i_coom_again.png (126 KB, 680x444) Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:28:29 No.79275253 ►>>79275286 >>>79275318 >be coomer addicted to e-w----- >tell my therapist i wanna stop cooming >he says it's a biological need just like pissing >says i should do it more and recommends me a website called "fapello" So if I said I was an alcoholic, he would recommend me a bar? I'm just gonna buy female contraceptives and chemically castrate myself instead. >> Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:30:51 No.79275267 >>79275643 idk sounds like a pretty based therapist you should try gooning with him sometime, might cheer you up
File: i_coom_i_die_i_coom_again.png (126 KB, 680x444) Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:28:29 No.79275253 ►>>79275286 >>>79275318 >be coomer addicted to e-w----- >tell my therapist i wanna stop cooming >he says it's a biological need just like pissing >says i should do it more and recommends me a website called "fapello" So if I said I was an alcoholic, he would recommend me a bar? I'm just gonna buy female contraceptives and chemically castrate myself instead. >> Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:30:51 No.79275267 >>79275643 idk sounds like a pretty based therapist you should try gooning with him sometime, might cheer you up

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Attention vampire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Irl 4chan ewhore 59 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon) 10:32:11 No.79273265 >be me >at Halloween party at local bar >stand outside with friends for c-- >obnoxious loud foid, about 18-23 dressed as stereotypical ewhore with cat ears approaches us with her shy bf who is wearing a 4chan tshirt >my friends and I, 25 plus arent chads, to set the scene we are dressed as Victorian vampires >she interrupts our conversation screeching about how she is an ekitten and her boyfriend is a 4channer >bf stands there awkwardly >we dont engage >she drags him off to another nerdy group of men, trying to name as many boards as she can Thoughts?
: Anonymous Irl 4chan ewhore 59 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon) 10:32:11 No.79273265 >be me >at Halloween party at local bar >stand outside with friends for c-- >obnoxious loud foid, about 18-23 dressed as stereotypical ewhore with cat ears approaches us with her shy bf who is wearing a 4chan tshirt >my friends and I, 25 plus arent chads, to set the scene we are dressed as Victorian vampires >she interrupts our conversation screeching about how she is an ekitten and her boyfriend is a 4channer >bf stands there awkwardly >we dont engage >she drags him off to another nerdy group of men, trying to name as many boards as she can Thoughts?

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I never wanted and never cared before | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUD ED 137 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)10:41:36 No.79273324 >dream that there's a naked girl on my bed who wants to have sex with me >get up and leave because I don't know what to do Why must my mind taunt me like this?
: Anonymous BUD ED 137 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)10:41:36 No.79273324 >dream that there's a naked girl on my bed who wants to have sex with me >get up and leave because I don't know what to do Why must my mind taunt me like this?

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >Yeah >Meet autistic girl >Shes just like me omg >Really into sci fi, ok >Go on date >She keeps talking about internet stuff >Touch on anime >She suddenly asks what is a husbando and if its like a male waifu >Says her first husbando was General Grievous and how super cool he was >Conversation derails >Reveals to me she has a robot fetish and wishes she couls change her body to be taller and stronger and prettier What do I do now that was super awkward and I have no way to respond
27 KB JPG >Yeah >Meet autistic girl >Shes just like me omg >Really into sci fi, ok >Go on date >She keeps talking about internet stuff >Touch on anime >She suddenly asks what is a husbando and if its like a male waifu >Says her first husbando was General Grievous and how super cool he was >Conversation derails >Reveals to me she has a robot fetish and wishes she couls change her body to be taller and stronger and prettier What do I do now that was super awkward and I have no way to respond

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Harry Potter and the Virus of Wuhan | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 10/23/24(Wed)03:55:17 No.204752003 >>204750204 >HARRY POTTER >DID YOU PUT THE PFIZER DOCUMENTS IN THE GOBLET >*Inhales* >OF >*Inhales* >FIIIIRE?!! >Dumbledore roared, calmly >"N-No Professor, I..." >YOU LITTLE S---, YOU TRAITOR, YOU F------ RAT >"B-But people were getting si-" >YOU IDIOT, I GAVE ALL OF GRYFFINDOR PLACEBO SHOTS, EXCEPT FOR NEVILLE! >ALL THE TOXIC BATCHES WENT TO THE OTHER HOUSES, 90% TO SLYTHERIN >"Professor why!?" >Because F--- Slytherin that's why. Lets hear those f------ call themselves "purebloods" now! >And besides, we need to keep most of Hufflepuff alive >Who else do you think we're going to have owning nothing, riding the electric broomsticks and eating the pixies in the house common-pod? Godric's Chosen? Are you that f------ dense?! >You know I can't let you get away with this Harry >The ministry are onto me, despite the efforts from the Wizading Economic Forum to cover my back >I had to fire Snape and expell half of House Ravenclaw, including your friend Luna, for refusing the mandates >Hufflepuff's seeker dropped dead in the middle of a Quidditch tournament >And Hagrid of all f------ people blew up the Gringott's Guidestones >I'm at my wits end Harry, any more leaks and even the muggles will start asking questions >I can't bring myself to use an unforgivable curse, but I have something else of my own making >You've left me no choice >Harry rapidly stretched his legs to the door, but Dumbledore had already drawn the Elder Wand >MYDOCARDITIUS! He bellowed, calmly
☐ Anonymous 10/23/24(Wed)03:55:17 No.204752003 >>204750204 >HARRY POTTER >DID YOU PUT THE PFIZER DOCUMENTS IN THE GOBLET >*Inhales* >OF >*Inhales* >FIIIIRE?!! >Dumbledore roared, calmly >"N-No Professor, I..." >YOU LITTLE S---, YOU TRAITOR, YOU F------ RAT >"B-But people were getting si-" >YOU IDIOT, I GAVE ALL OF GRYFFINDOR PLACEBO SHOTS, EXCEPT FOR NEVILLE! >ALL THE TOXIC BATCHES WENT TO THE OTHER HOUSES, 90% TO SLYTHERIN >"Professor why!?" >Because F--- Slytherin that's why. Lets hear those f------ call themselves "purebloods" now! >And besides, we need to keep most of Hufflepuff alive >Who else do you think we're going to have owning nothing, riding the electric broomsticks and eating the pixies in the house common-pod? Godric's Chosen? Are you that f------ dense?! >You know I can't let you get away with this Harry >The ministry are onto me, despite the efforts from the Wizading Economic Forum to cover my back >I had to fire Snape and expell half of House Ravenclaw, including your friend Luna, for refusing the mandates >Hufflepuff's seeker dropped dead in the middle of a Quidditch tournament >And Hagrid of all f------ people blew up the Gringott's Guidestones >I'm at my wits end Harry, any more leaks and even the muggles will start asking questions >I can't bring myself to use an unforgivable curse, but I have something else of my own making >You've left me no choice >Harry rapidly stretched his legs to the door, but Dumbledore had already drawn the Elder Wand >MYDOCARDITIUS! He bellowed, calmly

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Grinding machine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)06:59:34 No.79271716 >lost my virginity at 29 >nothing like p--- >her p---- wasn't completely shaven or waxed >had a little stubble on it >her t--- sagged a little >really wanted to try my favorite position from p--- (doggy) >get her on the edge on the bed and ask her to arch her back >she doesn't know how to properly arch >completely turned off by then >want to start pounding hard until I c-- >says it hurts >we go back to doing missionary >try to play with her clit >says shes sensitive and asks me to stop >just c-- and go home >texts me an hour later asking me if I want to hang out after work tomorrow How the f--- do some of these w----- get to their mid 20s and don't even how to properly arch their asses? The whole thing felt so awkward, she tried riding me but just kept grinding on my c--- like a retard, nothing like when girls ride on born and bounce on the guy's c--- non stop.
Anonymous 63 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)06:59:34 No.79271716 >lost my virginity at 29 >nothing like p--- >her p---- wasn't completely shaven or waxed >had a little stubble on it >her t--- sagged a little >really wanted to try my favorite position from p--- (doggy) >get her on the edge on the bed and ask her to arch her back >she doesn't know how to properly arch >completely turned off by then >want to start pounding hard until I c-- >says it hurts >we go back to doing missionary >try to play with her clit >says shes sensitive and asks me to stop >just c-- and go home >texts me an hour later asking me if I want to hang out after work tomorrow How the f--- do some of these w----- get to their mid 20s and don't even how to properly arch their asses? The whole thing felt so awkward, she tried riding me but just kept grinding on my c--- like a retard, nothing like when girls ride on born and bounce on the guy's c--- non stop.

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All played out with my life on pause | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun) 22:48:37 No.79267382 HOPE ERADICATED 1 year of using tinder absolutely breaks me >decide i've had enough and uninstall >lose weight >start dressing better RLD HAS SAVED NOTHING FOR YOU >grow my hair 967 KB PNG >looking better than i ever have >get a job i genuinely love >happiest point in my life >decide to give it (and another s----- dating app) a try again >dump money into both like the retarded incel i am >4 matches in 3 days overall >text them all immediately >not a single reply >one just instantly f------ deletes me >start feeling like complete and utter s--- again i don't know how, but it's time to make peace with the fact that i will die alone don't fall for the false hope meme bros
Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun) 22:48:37 No.79267382 HOPE ERADICATED 1 year of using tinder absolutely breaks me >decide i've had enough and uninstall >lose weight >start dressing better RLD HAS SAVED NOTHING FOR YOU >grow my hair 967 KB PNG >looking better than i ever have >get a job i genuinely love >happiest point in my life >decide to give it (and another s----- dating app) a try again >dump money into both like the retarded incel i am >4 matches in 3 days overall >text them all immediately >not a single reply >one just instantly f------ deletes me >start feeling like complete and utter s--- again i don't know how, but it's time to make peace with the fact that i will die alone don't fall for the false hope meme bros

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A homeless man's life is changed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 227 KB PNG you can work" 10/27/24(Sun)19:36:02 No.926611485 >be me >American, 2009 >Pulling up to good ol Mickey D's for the double quarter pounder >See young homeless man out front >Get extra burger, pull around and talk to him and give him burger >He starts telling his life story and I cut him off and say "don't care, I've got a job >He accepts and he works hard everyday >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >15 years later he's a manager for our construction company Funny thing is, I was the homeless guy, just wanted to tell my old boss thanks for getting me that burger and job. Have a good autumn anons, it can get better Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun)19:37:29 No.926611547 >>926611485 (OP) # >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >I was the homeless guy 44 KB JPG
Anonymous 227 KB PNG you can work" 10/27/24(Sun)19:36:02 No.926611485 >be me >American, 2009 >Pulling up to good ol Mickey D's for the double quarter pounder >See young homeless man out front >Get extra burger, pull around and talk to him and give him burger >He starts telling his life story and I cut him off and say "don't care, I've got a job >He accepts and he works hard everyday >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >15 years later he's a manager for our construction company Funny thing is, I was the homeless guy, just wanted to tell my old boss thanks for getting me that burger and job. Have a good autumn anons, it can get better Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun)19:37:29 No.926611547 >>926611485 (OP) # >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >I was the homeless guy 44 KB JPG

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Foundations that could never break | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.66 MB WEBM 10/28/24(Mon)02:23:18 No.79269277 >buy gf a buttplug as a surprise >"ewww no, I don't want to use that" >ask if she would ever think about having a--- sex >"ewww that's gross I won't do that" >ask how would she know she doesn't like it if she's never tried >"I did it with my last boyfriend" >ask if she hated it then >"it can feel good it it's dilated properly" >ask because it's because I'm too big >"no my exbf was bigger" >ask if she wants to take a shower together >"no" *locks bathroom door behind her* >ask if she would ever think about having sex outside > "no, I'm not 19 anymore" >ask if she's done it before >"of course" How do I respond without sounding mad?
Anonymous 1.66 MB WEBM 10/28/24(Mon)02:23:18 No.79269277 >buy gf a buttplug as a surprise >"ewww no, I don't want to use that" >ask if she would ever think about having a--- sex >"ewww that's gross I won't do that" >ask how would she know she doesn't like it if she's never tried >"I did it with my last boyfriend" >ask if she hated it then >"it can feel good it it's dilated properly" >ask because it's because I'm too big >"no my exbf was bigger" >ask if she wants to take a shower together >"no" *locks bathroom door behind her* >ask if she would ever think about having sex outside > "no, I'm not 19 anymore" >ask if she's done it before >"of course" How do I respond without sounding mad?

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Somewhere In Canada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: k5si Je7R) 01/15/24(Mon) 14:44:36 No.455259334 29 KB PNG >what do you MEAN there are no white taxpayers left to fund everything and repair complex infrastructure? >I came here to live in paradise and now it looks just like where i left? >how could this happen?!?
Anonymous (ID: k5si Je7R) 01/15/24(Mon) 14:44:36 No.455259334 29 KB PNG >what do you MEAN there are no white taxpayers left to fund everything and repair complex infrastructure? >I came here to live in paradise and now it looks just like where i left? >how could this happen?!?

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Anonette goes collar shopping | /r/Greentext

38 KB JPG >at pet store with bf >buying collar for our dog >he doesnt know what size to buy >picks collar and tries to put it around my neck >pull away and ask him w-- >"your neck is about the same size as hers so i was just checking" is he gonna... E Anonymous 11/13/22(Sun)10:48:34 No.28346093 If you want it just ask him to and he will do it
38 KB JPG >at pet store with bf >buying collar for our dog >he doesnt know what size to buy >picks collar and tries to put it around my neck >pull away and ask him w-- >"your neck is about the same size as hers so i was just checking" is he gonna... E Anonymous 11/13/22(Sun)10:48:34 No.28346093 If you want it just ask him to and he will do it

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Name your least favourite tv or movie trope | /r/Greentext

1664729142415644.jpg 91 KB JPG >You can't kill the bad guy >You'll be just like them, what about mora-
1664729142415644.jpg 91 KB JPG >You can't kill the bad guy >You'll be just like them, what about mora-

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Bombing Raid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Are western girls worth their (...) 07/19/24(Fri)00:42:19 No.31642208 "Man In Finance" TikToker Who Joked That She'd Made The "Song Of The Summer" Gets A Major Label Deal Did I just write the song of the summer? 504 KB JPG >Blue eyes >Works in finance Her >5'2 >Works in retail >In debt and no inheritance >Brown eyes Her demands from which she will never settle >6'5 >Trust fund inheritance And then glowies/roasties yap about "eugenics" trying to frame this like a net-positive for the human race when all it really is is dysgenic since it lowers White fertility by a huge margin and marginalizes the middle-class. Anonymous Go away stupid incel. >>31642841 # >>31643339 # 07/19/24(Fri)00:47:38 No.31642244
Anonymous Are western girls worth their (...) 07/19/24(Fri)00:42:19 No.31642208 "Man In Finance" TikToker Who Joked That She'd Made The "Song Of The Summer" Gets A Major Label Deal Did I just write the song of the summer? 504 KB JPG >Blue eyes >Works in finance Her >5'2 >Works in retail >In debt and no inheritance >Brown eyes Her demands from which she will never settle >6'5 >Trust fund inheritance And then glowies/roasties yap about "eugenics" trying to frame this like a net-positive for the human race when all it really is is dysgenic since it lowers White fertility by a huge margin and marginalizes the middle-class. Anonymous Go away stupid incel. >>31642841 # >>31643339 # 07/19/24(Fri)00:47:38 No.31642244

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Commie trek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/24(Sat) 18:46:15 No.204435864 file.png 1.75 MB PNG >Entire series takes place in a communist dystopia >You must dress as the federation orders you to dress >you can only eat what the federation allows you to eat >taste is forbidden, you may only eat synthetic, flavorless food >free will is forbidden and anything that incentivates free will is strictly forbidden >all humans are essentially automatons with no free will, a hivemind of sorts is star trek the scariest horror story ever made?
: Anonymous 10/12/24(Sat) 18:46:15 No.204435864 file.png 1.75 MB PNG >Entire series takes place in a communist dystopia >You must dress as the federation orders you to dress >you can only eat what the federation allows you to eat >taste is forbidden, you may only eat synthetic, flavorless food >free will is forbidden and anything that incentivates free will is strictly forbidden >all humans are essentially automatons with no free will, a hivemind of sorts is star trek the scariest horror story ever made?

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Mistress of shattered hopes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous how do i fix this? IT'S 10/27/24(Sun)10:29:08 No.79262418 >be me OVER >20m in smallish major. don't really talk to people bc it's not that fun >take gen ed IT'SNEVER BEEN MORE OVER THAN IT IS NOW ONICHE IT'S EVEN MORE OVER THAN WAS PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT POSSIBLE TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT B 98 KB JPG >10/10 from major i've never spoken to before notices me >we talk a few times. she's very interesting and i like the conversation >"anonette, do you have a study group? i wanna review before the midterm but everyone i know is busy" >turns out she studies with the five? other girls in our major >"oh, but anon, let's exchange numbers in case either of us has questions about the homework!" >i put my number in her phone and she texts me "hey it's anonette" an hour later >completely forget about this >the next couple of weeks, i'm absent from lectures bc of research >come back this past week and we don't really talk, though she does see me enter the lecture hall robots, is this salvageable? what do i do?
Anonymous how do i fix this? IT'S 10/27/24(Sun)10:29:08 No.79262418 >be me OVER >20m in smallish major. don't really talk to people bc it's not that fun >take gen ed IT'SNEVER BEEN MORE OVER THAN IT IS NOW ONICHE IT'S EVEN MORE OVER THAN WAS PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT POSSIBLE TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT B 98 KB JPG >10/10 from major i've never spoken to before notices me >we talk a few times. she's very interesting and i like the conversation >"anonette, do you have a study group? i wanna review before the midterm but everyone i know is busy" >turns out she studies with the five? other girls in our major >"oh, but anon, let's exchange numbers in case either of us has questions about the homework!" >i put my number in her phone and she texts me "hey it's anonette" an hour later >completely forget about this >the next couple of weeks, i'm absent from lectures bc of research >come back this past week and we don't really talk, though she does see me enter the lecture hall robots, is this salvageable? what do i do?

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While I lay down a crimson rose | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 141 KB JPG 10/27/24(Sun)11:11:57 No.79262664 Have the outward qualities of a nerd: >kyphosis >high hairline >super skinny and weak >cant even grow a full beard >feminine voice but have none of the advantages of a nerd: >not brilliantly autistic >below average intelligence >dont have any interest in STEM >have a hard time academically Im literally in hell
Anonymous 141 KB JPG 10/27/24(Sun)11:11:57 No.79262664 Have the outward qualities of a nerd: >kyphosis >high hairline >super skinny and weak >cant even grow a full beard >feminine voice but have none of the advantages of a nerd: >not brilliantly autistic >below average intelligence >dont have any interest in STEM >have a hard time academically Im literally in hell

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Doge Retribution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/24(Sat) 22:13:57 No.204441455 IMG_1581.png 211 KB PNG >OH MY SCIENCE, DID YOU JUST KILL THE PUPPY I'VE HAD FOR 12 HOURS? MY WOOFY BOY? >I'M GOING TO KILL DOZENS OF YOU FOR THIS.
: Anonymous 10/12/24(Sat) 22:13:57 No.204441455 IMG_1581.png 211 KB PNG >OH MY SCIENCE, DID YOU JUST KILL THE PUPPY I'VE HAD FOR 12 HOURS? MY WOOFY BOY? >I'M GOING TO KILL DOZENS OF YOU FOR THIS.

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Brought back to life only to die | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PAIN 10/27/24(Sun)15:01:13 No.79263913 >person messages me out of the blue asking "what's up" AGONY EVEN >I give them a life update SUFFERING, IF YOU WILL TORMENTING if you feel so inclined 45 KB JPG >ask how they're doing (that's what you're supposed to do right?) >sent 6 days ago ???? why are people like this? it's not even just the one friend, I asked another friend how they were doing and they straight up just ignored the question and only responded to everything else? does everyone i know want to ropemaxx or something?
Anonymous PAIN 10/27/24(Sun)15:01:13 No.79263913 >person messages me out of the blue asking "what's up" AGONY EVEN >I give them a life update SUFFERING, IF YOU WILL TORMENTING if you feel so inclined 45 KB JPG >ask how they're doing (that's what you're supposed to do right?) >sent 6 days ago ???? why are people like this? it's not even just the one friend, I asked another friend how they were doing and they straight up just ignored the question and only responded to everything else? does everyone i know want to ropemaxx or something?

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Joker 2 and it's consequences | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun)14:33:52 No.146111119 >>146110641 # 033224.jpg 206 KB JPG >GET HIS F------ PLATES OFF
: Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun)14:33:52 No.146111119 >>146110641 # 033224.jpg 206 KB JPG >GET HIS F------ PLATES OFF

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Anon questions religion | /r/Greentext

File: lgbt-muslims.jpg (138 KB, 1245x697) ALLAH #LOVES EQUALITY talking snakes was a metaphor ☐ Religion and Liberalism Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 16:54:57 No.17210626 ► >>1721 >we don't have to recite that part anymore >we don't have to have Mass in Latin anymore >we don't have to pay taxes and follow laws even though it says right here by JC himself >uhhhh divorce is okay because....the king said so... >uhhhh God decided that rich and greedy people CAN go to heaven >we have randomly decided that inviting in violent immigrants is fine >we have decided that men CAN be women >uh...it turns out the part about >oh and these are all metaphors....for what? uhhhh sh-shut up >we have randomly decided that faggotry is okay So how long before religions are warped into something completely alien than what they are now?
File: lgbt-muslims.jpg (138 KB, 1245x697) ALLAH #LOVES EQUALITY talking snakes was a metaphor ☐ Religion and Liberalism Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 16:54:57 No.17210626 ► >>1721 >we don't have to recite that part anymore >we don't have to have Mass in Latin anymore >we don't have to pay taxes and follow laws even though it says right here by JC himself >uhhhh divorce is okay because....the king said so... >uhhhh God decided that rich and greedy people CAN go to heaven >we have randomly decided that inviting in violent immigrants is fine >we have decided that men CAN be women >uh...it turns out the part about >oh and these are all metaphors....for what? uhhhh sh-shut up >we have randomly decided that faggotry is okay So how long before religions are warped into something completely alien than what they are now?

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