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Anon hate Teams | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ZqMGdYAI ) 03/19/22(Sat)22:46:05 No.14751123 >2 years since the start of the "pandemic" >it's still a p------------ 55 КВ PNG Anonymous (ID: QtLMJzqv ) [] 03/20/22(Sun)00:16:35 No.14751459 >>14751123 (OP) Holy f---. I f------ hate Teams so much. It's like it intentionally tries to be as difficult and as terrible as possible. Nobody asked, but I'm going to tell you guys anyways because I'm f------ p----- off after seeing that logo. My work has weekly Teams meetings and routinely has difficulties with it with video and/or audio LITERALLY every single time. We have lost clients for this because some people I work with have scheduled video meetings with them but don't get the video and/or audio working and the client thought it was unprofessional. I think this happened four times. Clients and almost all of us have f------ BEGGED management to just use Google meets but management said no because "not everybody has an accessible Google account", despite all of our work e-mails that are given to us being powered by g-mail. F--- Teams.
Anonymous (ID: ZqMGdYAI ) 03/19/22(Sat)22:46:05 No.14751123 >2 years since the start of the "pandemic" >it's still a p------------ 55 КВ PNG Anonymous (ID: QtLMJzqv ) [] 03/20/22(Sun)00:16:35 No.14751459 >>14751123 (OP) Holy f---. I f------ hate Teams so much. It's like it intentionally tries to be as difficult and as terrible as possible. Nobody asked, but I'm going to tell you guys anyways because I'm f------ p----- off after seeing that logo. My work has weekly Teams meetings and routinely has difficulties with it with video and/or audio LITERALLY every single time. We have lost clients for this because some people I work with have scheduled video meetings with them but don't get the video and/or audio working and the client thought it was unprofessional. I think this happened four times. Clients and almost all of us have f------ BEGGED management to just use Google meets but management said no because "not everybody has an accessible Google account", despite all of our work e-mails that are given to us being powered by g-mail. F--- Teams.

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Eddddddddddddddd | /r/Greentext

No.55008835 10/23/19(Wed)18:13:21 download~2.jpg JPG 8.7 KiB 171x171 >be me >in health class >teacher says we are going to start the sex ed unit >mfw my name is Ed >later virgins No.55009191 10/23/19(Wed)18:49:33 Thate this f------ website so f------ much ...
No.55008835 10/23/19(Wed)18:13:21 download~2.jpg JPG 8.7 KiB 171x171 >be me >in health class >teacher says we are going to start the sex ed unit >mfw my name is Ed >later virgins No.55009191 10/23/19(Wed)18:49:33 Thate this f------ website so f------ much ...

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Anon feels insecure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/20(Fri)06:17:29 No.5704199 >the cute cash register girl drops the change into your hand >she places the change gently into chad's hand after me 22 KB JPG It's the little things that get to me.
Anonymous 03/06/20(Fri)06:17:29 No.5704199 >the cute cash register girl drops the change into your hand >she places the change gently into chad's hand after me 22 KB JPG It's the little things that get to me.

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Anon gets free gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?
Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?

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Anon wants crossbow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous f--- australia 03/20/22(Sun)06:02:40 No.52532966 >want crossbow >literally only want it to shoot cans in my backyard, maybe go hunting rabbits one day >live in the sharia state of south australia 195 KB PNG >have to apply for a permit to own one >go to the station to ask for the application documents >"why do you want it" >"just want to get into target shooting" >"just get a bow, don't even bother getting a crossbow" >no criminal history >literally outright refuses to give me the form and just says get a bow >this has happened 3 times now why the f--- is this country so goddam s---, i'm trying to do this s--- the legal way and they wont even let me
: Anonymous f--- australia 03/20/22(Sun)06:02:40 No.52532966 >want crossbow >literally only want it to shoot cans in my backyard, maybe go hunting rabbits one day >live in the sharia state of south australia 195 KB PNG >have to apply for a permit to own one >go to the station to ask for the application documents >"why do you want it" >"just want to get into target shooting" >"just get a bow, don't even bother getting a crossbow" >no criminal history >literally outright refuses to give me the form and just says get a bow >this has happened 3 times now why the f--- is this country so goddam s---, i'm trying to do this s--- the legal way and they wont even let me

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anon is not aware of the effects he has on women | /r/Greentext

File: images (1).jpg (12 KB, 208x242) O Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat)15:51:09 No.874708609 [Reply] >>874708957 >>874708959 >be 5'4" >know i have no chance with women >already came to terms with it >im just gonna f--- a h----- once to have sex >Go to 7/11 once >line is a little long but there's a gap in the line >go into the line through the gap not knowing there were people in back of me already in line but didn't move forward >young woman a little taller than me calls me out and adds into her insults that im an elf >turn around to explain but I look at her body >has a very nice tight body >so I scan her up and when I get to her face, I can't help but let out a "hah" because her face reminds me of pic related with a huge hooked jew nose but I couldn't say >apparently that little laugh got her even anything back because of that stupid jew face picture >i finally got to the cashier and paid my stuff while she was still throwing out insults mostly targetting my height >suddenly, everything went quiet and she started crying >w--.jpg >l just grabbed my stuff and headed out ore heated and started calling What the hell just happened?
File: images (1).jpg (12 KB, 208x242) O Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat)15:51:09 No.874708609 [Reply] >>874708957 >>874708959 >be 5'4" >know i have no chance with women >already came to terms with it >im just gonna f--- a h----- once to have sex >Go to 7/11 once >line is a little long but there's a gap in the line >go into the line through the gap not knowing there were people in back of me already in line but didn't move forward >young woman a little taller than me calls me out and adds into her insults that im an elf >turn around to explain but I look at her body >has a very nice tight body >so I scan her up and when I get to her face, I can't help but let out a "hah" because her face reminds me of pic related with a huge hooked jew nose but I couldn't say >apparently that little laugh got her even anything back because of that stupid jew face picture >i finally got to the cashier and paid my stuff while she was still throwing out insults mostly targetting my height >suddenly, everything went quiet and she started crying >w--.jpg >l just grabbed my stuff and headed out ore heated and started calling What the hell just happened?

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Anon loves his gf | /r/Greentext

File: The Love of my Life.png (153 KB, 737x492) O The Love of My Life Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:31:12 No.66506151 >>66506200 >>665065 1 love you so much. Thank you for making my life worth living. >Be me >Lightskin >Mother was black >Father was white >Born in 1999 >My mother had me when she was 17 >Never knew my dad >He took off before I was born >Mother's parents were Southern Baptists >Didn't let her abort me >She gets her tubes tied so she doesn't get pregnant again >She is angry that she has to raise me >She takes it out on me >She hit me a lot when I was growing up >Drank a lot >We were poor because she spent all of her extra money on drinking >Some weekends she'd be gone for days, drinking >Monday l'd come home from school to her passed out on the couch >9 years old >Friday after school >Sitting on my bed, playing Halo 3 on an Xbox given to me by her parents >Mother comes home from work >Storms into my room >Pins me to the bed >Traps my arms under her legs so I can't fight back >Starts punching me in the face, and ribs >Screaming at me "I hate you" "You ruined my life" "I wish you were never born" "You deserve this" "No one will ever love you" "I just wish that you would die" "You're pathetic" >l'm sobbing the entire time, begging her to stop hitting me >After 10 minutes or so, she wears herself out, and leaves >She gave me a black eye, and knocked out a baby tooth >Didn't see her for a few days >Stumbled in drunk at like 3am on Monday >On Monday she called the school to tell them that I was really sick >She didn't want people to see my black eye >l missed an entire week of school "sick" until my black eye healed >Sometimes the neighbors would hear screaming, and called the cops on her >Nothing ever came of that I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:33:23 No.66506170 >>66506576 >When I was 11, I started playing football, because I thought it would toughen me up >I loved it >l played Safety >l was really shy, and quiet in school >My mother would never let me have people over, or go to anyone else's house >l didn't have any friends because of low self-esteem, and being afraid to talk to others >But I was good at playing football, so my teammates respected me, even though I was really quiet >Eventually I got big enough that my mother stopped hitting me >l remained shy, and a loner throughout high school >Never forming any relationships beyond my teammates >I was afraid of talking to girls >l was worried that they'd see in me the same thing that my mother saw, and would hate me like she did >I spent all of my time studying, or working out in the school weight room >Decided to start reading the Bible in high school >Became very religious >l became really interested in Catholicism >My mother disapproved of religion, but I didn't care >I worked very hard academically to attain scholarships, so I could afford to go to college >Did everything I could to get straight A's >l didn't want to end up like my mother >Around Sophomore year of high school, I started having nightmares >In my nightmares I was a little kid again, getting hit by her >l got accepted into the state university >l moved off to college >After dropping me off, my mother told me that I was on my own, and she never wanted to see me again >I was fine with that, I never wanted to see her again either >I struggled making friends in college >I still had low self-esteem >Other than going to classes, the gym, or attending Mass, I never left my dorm >l officially converted to Catholicism, and got baptized >l always sat alone in church because I didn't know anyone >l always thought that the feelings of self-loathing, and loneliness would go away once I got away from my mother >But I just felt isolated, since I didn't know anyone >I thought the nightmares would go away, but they didn't I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:37:29 No.66506199 >>66506576 >One Sunday toward the end of Freshmen year, I got to Mass early to pray, and this girl sits next to me >l'd seen her before at the gym, and at Mass, but we didn't know each other >She was perfect, like an honest 11/10 >Most beautiful woman I've ever seen >Looked like an angel >Long blonde hair >Stunning blue eyes >Tall like 6'1" (1I'm only 5'8") >Gorgeous long legs >Super fit >Warm smile >Though she didn't flaunt it, you could tell she had an amazing body >She says she's seen me around, but doesn't know my name >We introduce ourselves >She tells me her name is Naomi >We get to talking >She tells me she's a Junior >l'm just a Freshman >She's 21, I'm about to turn 19 >I was going to school to get a degree in engineering >She was a PolSci major, going into law school >l was super nervous talking to her >I had no idea how to talk to girls >I stumbled over my words >She giggled >This happens week after week >She keeps sitting next to me at Mass >Smiles and waves at me whenever she sees me at the gym, or just around campus >I'm an idiot with no experience with girls so I don't take the hint >After 2 months of her flirting with me, she gave up trying to get me to take a hint, and just asked me out herself >One Sunday she just asked if we could go to lunch together after Mass >l agree, but I didn't realize she meant it in a romantic way >I thought she wanted to just go out to eat as friends >When we get there, she reaches across the table and holds my hand >Before I can say anything, she does first >Naomi says that she was waiting for weeks for me to ask her out, but I never did >Now I'm starting to realize that this is a date >I sheepishly apologize, and say that I didn't think she thought of me in that way >She giggles, and tells me that I'm so adorable >This makes me feel so happy >Even though it was just a simple compliment, for the first time ever, I felt loved >We started dating, but we took it really slow >We were both virgins, who wanted to wait until marriage I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:39:02 No.66506215 >>66506576 >We didn't kiss until our fifth date >She took me back to my dorm after we saw a movie together >We said goodbye >As I was turning away to go back to my dorm, she grabbed and kissed me >It was the first kiss I ever had >It made me feel so happy >She jokingly tells me that she'll teach me how to kiss because I need practice >After a few months of dating, she took me home to introduce to her parents >I was worried that they wouldn't approve of her dating a lightskin boy >But they were very nice to me >At first, I thought they were just putting on a facade >But after a while I realized that they really were just nice people >I learned a lot about her from her family >Her parents are basically the Catholic stereotype of having countless kids >Naomi has 7 younger siblings >She had an older brother who died of cancer when they were growing up >She only had one boyfriend in the past >They dated for like a year when they first started college >They broke up because he ended up cheating on her >He was only pretending to be super Catholic to get with her, and didn't like that she wanted to wait until marriage >After meeting her parents, she took me up to her childhood bedroom >We sat down on her bed >She asked me about my family, and why I never talked about them >I had always avoided the subject when it came up before >But I finally decided to tell her everything >About how I never knew my dad, and how my mother was a drunk that didn't want me >About how my mother wanted to abort me >I told her about how my mother hit me, and how she always told me that she hated me >I broke down crying when I told Naomi >She took me into her arms >I cried even harder >She laid me down, and just started cuddling with me >We'd never cuddled before >l'd never been cuddled before >I was sobbing as she held me >She kept telling me that she loved me, over and over again >After a while I calmed down, and stopped crying >She told me that she wants to make my life better Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:40:04 No.66506227 >>66506576 >She started complimenting me a lot >She'd always tell me how cute and adorable I was >She wanted to improve my self image >She'd snuggle up with me when we watched movies together >She gave me the attention that I craved so much >My self image did improve >I became more confident >I felt so loved >Fast forward to the 2 year anniversary of when we first met >Since being with Naomi, I was happy for the first time in my life >I love her so much >She's made my life so much better than I ever thought it could be >I became part of her friend group >Her parents treat me like a son >Naomi convinced me to get back into contact with my grandparents >I hadn't seen or spoken to them in years, because my mother kept me away from them >When I called them they were so happy to hear from me >They're not too fond of Catholics, but they were happy that I found God, even if it wasn't in the way they wanted >They told me that my mother moved away, shortly after I went to college, and no one's heard from her since >l decided to ask Naomi to marry me >I was broke as hell, so I couldn't afford an expensive of a ring >But I knew that stuff wasn't important to her >She would love the ring because it represented my love for her, not because of how much I spent on it >l made dinner for her at her house >Not a very good cook, but I made it work >After we ate, I got on one knee, and asked her to marry me >She jumped into my arms and said yes >She had made me so happy, and now I wanted to make her so happy >We were engaged for a little more than a year >We got married this past June after I graduated from college >We got married in the parish that we first met in >Covid is still kind of a thing, so we had to have a pretty small ceremony >Just Naomi's family, and my grandparents >It was my first time seeing my grandparents in person since I was probably 14 or 15 >They were so proud of me for making something of my life >They told me that they were so relieved that I found happiness I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:40:04 No.66506227 >66506576 >She started complimenting me a lot >She'd always tell me how cute and adorable I was >She wanted to improve my self image >She'd snuggle up with me when we watched movies together >She gave me the attention that I craved so much >My self image did improve >I became more confident >I felt so loved >Fast forward to the 2 year anniversary of when we first met >Since being with Naomi, I was happy for the first time in my life >I love her so much >She's made my life so much better than I ever thought it could be >I became part of her friend group >Her parents treat me like a son >Naomi convinced me to get back into contact with my grandparents >I hadn't seen or spoken to them in years, because my mother kept me away from them >When I called them they were so happy to hear from me >They're not too fond of Catholics, but they were happy that I found God, even if it wasn't in the way they wanted >They told me that my mother moved away, shortly after I went to college, and no one's heard from her since >l decided to ask Naomi to marry me >I was broke as hell, so I couldn't afford an expensive of a ring >But I knew that stuff wasn't important to her >She would love the ring because it represented my love for her, not because of how much I spent on it >l made dinner for her at her house >Not a very good cook, but I made it work >After we ate, I got on one knee, and asked her to marry me >She jumped into my arms and said yes >She had made me so happy, and now I wanted to make her so happy >We were engaged for a little more than a year >We got married this past June after I graduated from college >We got married in the parish that we first met in >Covid is still kind of a thing, so we had to have a pretty small ceremony >Just Naomi's family, and my grandparents >It was my first time seeing my grandparents in person since I was probably 14 or 15 >They were so proud of me for making something of my life >They told me that they were so relieved that I found happiness I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:41:29 No.66506240 >>66506576 >After the wedding, Naomi and I went back to her house, that I was now going to move into >We'd had boxes of my stuff moved to her place a week before >l'd been sleeping in a hotel the past few weeks since I no longer had a dorm >l bridal carried her through the door >Almost hit her head on the door because she's so tall >Once I set her down, I was so nervous about what I knew was going to happen next >Naomi could see that I was anxious >She asked me if I was nervous about losing my virginity >l admitted that I was >She admitted that she was too >But then she gave me this look deep into my eyes, that assured me that everything would be okay >She gave me a kiss on the cheek >Playfully grabbed me by the hand, and led me up to the bedroom >When we got into her room, she told me to lay on the bed, and make myself comfortable >She said she had a surprise planned for me, but it would take a few minutes >She went into the bathroom, and I started to realize what the surprise was >Naomi opened the door, to reveal herself wearing this white lace teddy with stockings, and a white silk robe on top >My jaw started hanging open like a retard >She was so beautiful, she was glowing like an angel >She told me that she wanted to reward me for waiting until marriage >She said that she wanted to spoil me, because I had a tough childhood, and deserved to be spoiled >The next morning felt like something out of a movie >Waking up cuddling in her arms for the first time >Feeling her warm skin >Hearing birds chirping outside >The warm sun beaming in on us >Waking up to see her beautiful face >As soon as I woke up, she started kissing me all over my face telling me what a cutie I was >l couldn't believe what happened the night before >We were no longer virgins >I was moving into her house, so we had a lot of unpacking to do >But that day we got absolutely no unpacking done >We spent the whole day, cuddling, kissing, and making love >l felt like a kid on Christmas morning O Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:42:31 No.66506252 >>66506366 >>66506576 >>66508448 >>66508777 >>66508870 >>66509161 >One night, shortly after we got married, I had a nightmare of my mother hitting me again >l jolted awake, and I felt my heart was pounding >Naomi woke up because I was kicking in my sleep >Immediately when she looked at me, she could tell that something was wrong >She asked me what happened >I told her that I had another nightmare about my mother >She took me into her arms and comforted me >She calmed me down, and told me that everything was going to be okay, because I was with her now, and she would protect me, and keep m >l broke down crying in her arms >I felt so safe in her arms >I knew that Naomi would protect me from all of the pain that I had >She would make everything better >l used to think that once I was happy, the nightmares would go away >But now I realize they'll never fully go away >But that's okay, because I know that whatever happens, Naomi will be there to comfort me >The 6 months that we've been married have felt magical >Waking up next to her every morning >Falling asleep in her arms every night >Spending every moment we can together >Some nights we'll stay up for hours just talking >We've both gotten so much better at making love >She's so gentle and tender with me >She loves spoiling me with her love >Both of our careers are going well >l've gotten an internship that'll turn into a good job in a year >She's starting her 3L, which is the last year of Law School >I feel so happy O Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)14:16:19 No.66508831 File: FFCF3CC6-06BB-44D4-BF2C-4(..).png (583 KB, 750x1334) Include me in the plebbit screen cap!!!!I!! PLEASE!!!!! >A few days ago I got home from work >When I walked, in she ran up to me with the biggest smile on her face, hugged me, and showed me a pregnancy test >She's pregnant >I'm going to be a dad >I love this child so much, and I want to give them the life that I never had growing up >I want this child to have the happiest, and most loving family ever >l want to be the parent that never had
File: The Love of my Life.png (153 KB, 737x492) O The Love of My Life Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:31:12 No.66506151 >>66506200 >>665065 1 love you so much. Thank you for making my life worth living. >Be me >Lightskin >Mother was black >Father was white >Born in 1999 >My mother had me when she was 17 >Never knew my dad >He took off before I was born >Mother's parents were Southern Baptists >Didn't let her abort me >She gets her tubes tied so she doesn't get pregnant again >She is angry that she has to raise me >She takes it out on me >She hit me a lot when I was growing up >Drank a lot >We were poor because she spent all of her extra money on drinking >Some weekends she'd be gone for days, drinking >Monday l'd come home from school to her passed out on the couch >9 years old >Friday after school >Sitting on my bed, playing Halo 3 on an Xbox given to me by her parents >Mother comes home from work >Storms into my room >Pins me to the bed >Traps my arms under her legs so I can't fight back >Starts punching me in the face, and ribs >Screaming at me "I hate you" "You ruined my life" "I wish you were never born" "You deserve this" "No one will ever love you" "I just wish that you would die" "You're pathetic" >l'm sobbing the entire time, begging her to stop hitting me >After 10 minutes or so, she wears herself out, and leaves >She gave me a black eye, and knocked out a baby tooth >Didn't see her for a few days >Stumbled in drunk at like 3am on Monday >On Monday she called the school to tell them that I was really sick >She didn't want people to see my black eye >l missed an entire week of school "sick" until my black eye healed >Sometimes the neighbors would hear screaming, and called the cops on her >Nothing ever came of that I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:33:23 No.66506170 >>66506576 >When I was 11, I started playing football, because I thought it would toughen me up >I loved it >l played Safety >l was really shy, and quiet in school >My mother would never let me have people over, or go to anyone else's house >l didn't have any friends because of low self-esteem, and being afraid to talk to others >But I was good at playing football, so my teammates respected me, even though I was really quiet >Eventually I got big enough that my mother stopped hitting me >l remained shy, and a loner throughout high school >Never forming any relationships beyond my teammates >I was afraid of talking to girls >l was worried that they'd see in me the same thing that my mother saw, and would hate me like she did >I spent all of my time studying, or working out in the school weight room >Decided to start reading the Bible in high school >Became very religious >l became really interested in Catholicism >My mother disapproved of religion, but I didn't care >I worked very hard academically to attain scholarships, so I could afford to go to college >Did everything I could to get straight A's >l didn't want to end up like my mother >Around Sophomore year of high school, I started having nightmares >In my nightmares I was a little kid again, getting hit by her >l got accepted into the state university >l moved off to college >After dropping me off, my mother told me that I was on my own, and she never wanted to see me again >I was fine with that, I never wanted to see her again either >I struggled making friends in college >I still had low self-esteem >Other than going to classes, the gym, or attending Mass, I never left my dorm >l officially converted to Catholicism, and got baptized >l always sat alone in church because I didn't know anyone >l always thought that the feelings of self-loathing, and loneliness would go away once I got away from my mother >But I just felt isolated, since I didn't know anyone >I thought the nightmares would go away, but they didn't I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:37:29 No.66506199 >>66506576 >One Sunday toward the end of Freshmen year, I got to Mass early to pray, and this girl sits next to me >l'd seen her before at the gym, and at Mass, but we didn't know each other >She was perfect, like an honest 11/10 >Most beautiful woman I've ever seen >Looked like an angel >Long blonde hair >Stunning blue eyes >Tall like 6'1" (1I'm only 5'8") >Gorgeous long legs >Super fit >Warm smile >Though she didn't flaunt it, you could tell she had an amazing body >She says she's seen me around, but doesn't know my name >We introduce ourselves >She tells me her name is Naomi >We get to talking >She tells me she's a Junior >l'm just a Freshman >She's 21, I'm about to turn 19 >I was going to school to get a degree in engineering >She was a PolSci major, going into law school >l was super nervous talking to her >I had no idea how to talk to girls >I stumbled over my words >She giggled >This happens week after week >She keeps sitting next to me at Mass >Smiles and waves at me whenever she sees me at the gym, or just around campus >I'm an idiot with no experience with girls so I don't take the hint >After 2 months of her flirting with me, she gave up trying to get me to take a hint, and just asked me out herself >One Sunday she just asked if we could go to lunch together after Mass >l agree, but I didn't realize she meant it in a romantic way >I thought she wanted to just go out to eat as friends >When we get there, she reaches across the table and holds my hand >Before I can say anything, she does first >Naomi says that she was waiting for weeks for me to ask her out, but I never did >Now I'm starting to realize that this is a date >I sheepishly apologize, and say that I didn't think she thought of me in that way >She giggles, and tells me that I'm so adorable >This makes me feel so happy >Even though it was just a simple compliment, for the first time ever, I felt loved >We started dating, but we took it really slow >We were both virgins, who wanted to wait until marriage I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:39:02 No.66506215 >>66506576 >We didn't kiss until our fifth date >She took me back to my dorm after we saw a movie together >We said goodbye >As I was turning away to go back to my dorm, she grabbed and kissed me >It was the first kiss I ever had >It made me feel so happy >She jokingly tells me that she'll teach me how to kiss because I need practice >After a few months of dating, she took me home to introduce to her parents >I was worried that they wouldn't approve of her dating a lightskin boy >But they were very nice to me >At first, I thought they were just putting on a facade >But after a while I realized that they really were just nice people >I learned a lot about her from her family >Her parents are basically the Catholic stereotype of having countless kids >Naomi has 7 younger siblings >She had an older brother who died of cancer when they were growing up >She only had one boyfriend in the past >They dated for like a year when they first started college >They broke up because he ended up cheating on her >He was only pretending to be super Catholic to get with her, and didn't like that she wanted to wait until marriage >After meeting her parents, she took me up to her childhood bedroom >We sat down on her bed >She asked me about my family, and why I never talked about them >I had always avoided the subject when it came up before >But I finally decided to tell her everything >About how I never knew my dad, and how my mother was a drunk that didn't want me >About how my mother wanted to abort me >I told her about how my mother hit me, and how she always told me that she hated me >I broke down crying when I told Naomi >She took me into her arms >I cried even harder >She laid me down, and just started cuddling with me >We'd never cuddled before >l'd never been cuddled before >I was sobbing as she held me >She kept telling me that she loved me, over and over again >After a while I calmed down, and stopped crying >She told me that she wants to make my life better Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:40:04 No.66506227 >>66506576 >She started complimenting me a lot >She'd always tell me how cute and adorable I was >She wanted to improve my self image >She'd snuggle up with me when we watched movies together >She gave me the attention that I craved so much >My self image did improve >I became more confident >I felt so loved >Fast forward to the 2 year anniversary of when we first met >Since being with Naomi, I was happy for the first time in my life >I love her so much >She's made my life so much better than I ever thought it could be >I became part of her friend group >Her parents treat me like a son >Naomi convinced me to get back into contact with my grandparents >I hadn't seen or spoken to them in years, because my mother kept me away from them >When I called them they were so happy to hear from me >They're not too fond of Catholics, but they were happy that I found God, even if it wasn't in the way they wanted >They told me that my mother moved away, shortly after I went to college, and no one's heard from her since >l decided to ask Naomi to marry me >I was broke as hell, so I couldn't afford an expensive of a ring >But I knew that stuff wasn't important to her >She would love the ring because it represented my love for her, not because of how much I spent on it >l made dinner for her at her house >Not a very good cook, but I made it work >After we ate, I got on one knee, and asked her to marry me >She jumped into my arms and said yes >She had made me so happy, and now I wanted to make her so happy >We were engaged for a little more than a year >We got married this past June after I graduated from college >We got married in the parish that we first met in >Covid is still kind of a thing, so we had to have a pretty small ceremony >Just Naomi's family, and my grandparents >It was my first time seeing my grandparents in person since I was probably 14 or 15 >They were so proud of me for making something of my life >They told me that they were so relieved that I found happiness I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:40:04 No.66506227 >66506576 >She started complimenting me a lot >She'd always tell me how cute and adorable I was >She wanted to improve my self image >She'd snuggle up with me when we watched movies together >She gave me the attention that I craved so much >My self image did improve >I became more confident >I felt so loved >Fast forward to the 2 year anniversary of when we first met >Since being with Naomi, I was happy for the first time in my life >I love her so much >She's made my life so much better than I ever thought it could be >I became part of her friend group >Her parents treat me like a son >Naomi convinced me to get back into contact with my grandparents >I hadn't seen or spoken to them in years, because my mother kept me away from them >When I called them they were so happy to hear from me >They're not too fond of Catholics, but they were happy that I found God, even if it wasn't in the way they wanted >They told me that my mother moved away, shortly after I went to college, and no one's heard from her since >l decided to ask Naomi to marry me >I was broke as hell, so I couldn't afford an expensive of a ring >But I knew that stuff wasn't important to her >She would love the ring because it represented my love for her, not because of how much I spent on it >l made dinner for her at her house >Not a very good cook, but I made it work >After we ate, I got on one knee, and asked her to marry me >She jumped into my arms and said yes >She had made me so happy, and now I wanted to make her so happy >We were engaged for a little more than a year >We got married this past June after I graduated from college >We got married in the parish that we first met in >Covid is still kind of a thing, so we had to have a pretty small ceremony >Just Naomi's family, and my grandparents >It was my first time seeing my grandparents in person since I was probably 14 or 15 >They were so proud of me for making something of my life >They told me that they were so relieved that I found happiness I Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:41:29 No.66506240 >>66506576 >After the wedding, Naomi and I went back to her house, that I was now going to move into >We'd had boxes of my stuff moved to her place a week before >l'd been sleeping in a hotel the past few weeks since I no longer had a dorm >l bridal carried her through the door >Almost hit her head on the door because she's so tall >Once I set her down, I was so nervous about what I knew was going to happen next >Naomi could see that I was anxious >She asked me if I was nervous about losing my virginity >l admitted that I was >She admitted that she was too >But then she gave me this look deep into my eyes, that assured me that everything would be okay >She gave me a kiss on the cheek >Playfully grabbed me by the hand, and led me up to the bedroom >When we got into her room, she told me to lay on the bed, and make myself comfortable >She said she had a surprise planned for me, but it would take a few minutes >She went into the bathroom, and I started to realize what the surprise was >Naomi opened the door, to reveal herself wearing this white lace teddy with stockings, and a white silk robe on top >My jaw started hanging open like a retard >She was so beautiful, she was glowing like an angel >She told me that she wanted to reward me for waiting until marriage >She said that she wanted to spoil me, because I had a tough childhood, and deserved to be spoiled >The next morning felt like something out of a movie >Waking up cuddling in her arms for the first time >Feeling her warm skin >Hearing birds chirping outside >The warm sun beaming in on us >Waking up to see her beautiful face >As soon as I woke up, she started kissing me all over my face telling me what a cutie I was >l couldn't believe what happened the night before >We were no longer virgins >I was moving into her house, so we had a lot of unpacking to do >But that day we got absolutely no unpacking done >We spent the whole day, cuddling, kissing, and making love >l felt like a kid on Christmas morning O Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:42:31 No.66506252 >>66506366 >>66506576 >>66508448 >>66508777 >>66508870 >>66509161 >One night, shortly after we got married, I had a nightmare of my mother hitting me again >l jolted awake, and I felt my heart was pounding >Naomi woke up because I was kicking in my sleep >Immediately when she looked at me, she could tell that something was wrong >She asked me what happened >I told her that I had another nightmare about my mother >She took me into her arms and comforted me >She calmed me down, and told me that everything was going to be okay, because I was with her now, and she would protect me, and keep m >l broke down crying in her arms >I felt so safe in her arms >I knew that Naomi would protect me from all of the pain that I had >She would make everything better >l used to think that once I was happy, the nightmares would go away >But now I realize they'll never fully go away >But that's okay, because I know that whatever happens, Naomi will be there to comfort me >The 6 months that we've been married have felt magical >Waking up next to her every morning >Falling asleep in her arms every night >Spending every moment we can together >Some nights we'll stay up for hours just talking >We've both gotten so much better at making love >She's so gentle and tender with me >She loves spoiling me with her love >Both of our careers are going well >l've gotten an internship that'll turn into a good job in a year >She's starting her 3L, which is the last year of Law School >I feel so happy O Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)14:16:19 No.66508831 File: FFCF3CC6-06BB-44D4-BF2C-4(..).png (583 KB, 750x1334) Include me in the plebbit screen cap!!!!I!! PLEASE!!!!! >A few days ago I got home from work >When I walked, in she ran up to me with the biggest smile on her face, hugged me, and showed me a pregnancy test >She's pregnant >I'm going to be a dad >I love this child so much, and I want to give them the life that I never had growing up >I want this child to have the happiest, and most loving family ever >l want to be the parent that never had

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Anon gets some bitches | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)02:40:36 No.874756441 >>874716800 >Go to the funeral of a little a------ 16yo kid I sold weed to >Mack on the cutest girl there >Turns out it's his sister >Tell her we were best friends >"I never knew he had a close guy friend" >Subtly grills me and I guess I pass the test >Get her number and we start meeting up >Weekly meet-ups become almost daily hanging out >In way too deep, made literal years worth of stories about me and her brother >Been dating 2.5yrs now >Keep a notebook of all the stories l've told so I can keep it straight >Wrote it in a way that it would just look like a journal if she found it >We almost don't talk about him nowadays Parker, if only you knew how much of a freak your sister is, you little f-----.
: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)02:40:36 No.874756441 >>874716800 >Go to the funeral of a little a------ 16yo kid I sold weed to >Mack on the cutest girl there >Turns out it's his sister >Tell her we were best friends >"I never knew he had a close guy friend" >Subtly grills me and I guess I pass the test >Get her number and we start meeting up >Weekly meet-ups become almost daily hanging out >In way too deep, made literal years worth of stories about me and her brother >Been dating 2.5yrs now >Keep a notebook of all the stories l've told so I can keep it straight >Wrote it in a way that it would just look like a journal if she found it >We almost don't talk about him nowadays Parker, if only you knew how much of a freak your sister is, you little f-----.

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Anon interacts with npcs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:09:50 No.67850292 >at the store >go pay for my articles >say Hello how are you? to the cashier >she doesn't reply >scan my items >doesn't tell me the price 994 KB JPG >doesn't ask how I am going to pay >she just look away >gets my money out and pay >leave and tell her 'have a good day' >no reply >go home : Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:14:51 No.67850342 >>67850292 (OP) # just start f------ shoplifting at that point >>67850386 # : Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:19:02 No.67850386 >>67850342 # is that why people shoplift?
: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:09:50 No.67850292 >at the store >go pay for my articles >say Hello how are you? to the cashier >she doesn't reply >scan my items >doesn't tell me the price 994 KB JPG >doesn't ask how I am going to pay >she just look away >gets my money out and pay >leave and tell her 'have a good day' >no reply >go home : Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:14:51 No.67850342 >>67850292 (OP) # just start f------ shoplifting at that point >>67850386 # : Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:19:02 No.67850386 >>67850342 # is that why people shoplift?

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

File: monkas.png (211 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:34:11 No.787503440 ITT: When your realised you were retarded >be me >10 years old >on holiday with family >we have a trailer tent >chillin in my bed >rumbleinthejungle.jpeg >haul ass to the camp sites toilets >the door to the only stall is locked >can't be bothered looking to see if someone's in there. >decide to s--- in urinal >at least 6 inch log >for some reason I decide to pick up the log and throw it over the stall door >hear someone in the stall shout "THE F---" >hear him fall off the toilet >run away >mfw >> O Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:35:32 No.787503509 >>787503440 (OP) Imao This is why we shouldn't euthanize tards, humanity needs the comedic relief.
File: monkas.png (211 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:34:11 No.787503440 ITT: When your realised you were retarded >be me >10 years old >on holiday with family >we have a trailer tent >chillin in my bed >rumbleinthejungle.jpeg >haul ass to the camp sites toilets >the door to the only stall is locked >can't be bothered looking to see if someone's in there. >decide to s--- in urinal >at least 6 inch log >for some reason I decide to pick up the log and throw it over the stall door >hear someone in the stall shout "THE F---" >hear him fall off the toilet >run away >mfw >> O Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:35:32 No.787503509 >>787503440 (OP) Imao This is why we shouldn't euthanize tards, humanity needs the comedic relief.

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857.jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)
: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857.jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)

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Anon pledges a vow of silence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/22(Tue)10:05:18 No.872717870 >be me >high school >notice I haven't said a word in the first week >idea.docx >what if I pledge a vow of silence for the whole semester 21 KB JPG >actually commit >ffw a year >selective mutism >crippling social anxiety >art teacher thought I had autism
: Anonymous 02/15/22(Tue)10:05:18 No.872717870 >be me >high school >notice I haven't said a word in the first week >idea.docx >what if I pledge a vow of silence for the whole semester 21 KB JPG >actually commit >ffw a year >selective mutism >crippling social anxiety >art teacher thought I had autism

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Anon has allergies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 67852442 5 min. ago •.. >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your 174.6 kB PNG room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 67852442 5 min. ago •.. >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your 174.6 kB PNG room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon doesn't know what to do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i am a good person 06/10/19(Mon)21:52:18 No.52849891 >parents out for a week on vacation >17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping 139 KB JPG >l could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag : Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead 90 KB JPG >>52849935 #
: Anonymous i am a good person 06/10/19(Mon)21:52:18 No.52849891 >parents out for a week on vacation >17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping 139 KB JPG >l could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag : Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead 90 KB JPG >>52849935 #

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Anon has a gaming realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/21(Sun)23:52:00 No.2503563 >casually walks into someone's house with a gun >starts harassing the owner 118 KB JPG >babbles in a language he doesn't understand >immediately shoots him in the head when he grabs a hatchet for self-defense >"he isn't a zombie" >"there was a hostile local, I had to neutralize him" Leon was pretty much a d------- here, wasn't he
: Anonymous 09/05/21(Sun)23:52:00 No.2503563 >casually walks into someone's house with a gun >starts harassing the owner 118 KB JPG >babbles in a language he doesn't understand >immediately shoots him in the head when he grabs a hatchet for self-defense >"he isn't a zombie" >"there was a hostile local, I had to neutralize him" Leon was pretty much a d------- here, wasn't he

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F for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end
: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end

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Night shift of the living dead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 09/30/21(Thu)08:47:41 No.152667226 >be American >do 10+ hours of unpaid overtime every week and skip their lunchbreaks I havedtoimely no idsa >instead of turning against the company that makes them do these things they instead brag about what 179 KB PNG hard workers they are Why do they do this? I'm seeing it seep into Australian culture too and I don't like it.
: Anonymous 2 09/30/21(Thu)08:47:41 No.152667226 >be American >do 10+ hours of unpaid overtime every week and skip their lunchbreaks I havedtoimely no idsa >instead of turning against the company that makes them do these things they instead brag about what 179 KB PNG hard workers they are Why do they do this? I'm seeing it seep into Australian culture too and I don't like it.

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the effects of 4chan revealed | /r/Greentext

>Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" I think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >It's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan
>Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" I think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >It's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan

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Anon thinks about traswoman winning female swimming championship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: zeke.jpg (12 KB, 215x235) >Feminists fought for women to have a place in sports >50 years later >Actívists claim feminism should be inclusive >Feminism becomes about queer theory, race and intersectionalism >A transwoman beats a biological woman at sports >Biological women that lost will miss the chance further their sports career >Feminists now have to defend men taking opportunities from women in sports You can't make this s--- up
Anonymous File: zeke.jpg (12 KB, 215x235) >Feminists fought for women to have a place in sports >50 years later >Actívists claim feminism should be inclusive >Feminism becomes about queer theory, race and intersectionalism >A transwoman beats a biological woman at sports >Biological women that lost will miss the chance further their sports career >Feminists now have to defend men taking opportunities from women in sports You can't make this s--- up

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Anon is inexperienced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >l assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >l assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >l assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >l bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!"
: Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >l assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >l assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >l assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >l bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!"

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