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>Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" I think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >It's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan

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File: IMG_1723.jpg (89 KB, 950x950) > after a while he answers less and less > buys a phone that only has calls on it Miss my friend Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)10:29:50 No.32338271 >>32340765 >>32340815 >>32340988 >>32340998 > be me > move to a new city and switch schools just before 4th grade > thissucks.png > first day of class > sit next to some random dude > teacher starts roll call > calls his name just before mine >mfw we become friends >mfw we stayed friends since then up to the end of hs >mfw he's one of mine if not my best friend > 11th grade starts > becomes extremely religious (this happened over the course of HS) > decides to leave school and become completely religious > sad to see him go but keep in contact cuz I love my friend > goes to a monastery to be completely isolated > loose contact as he's completely obsessed with religion and scripture and cannot talk about anything else and also cannot accept nor hear any opinion other than the one his religious sect deems right (we're both religious) > last time we talked felt like talking to a stranger, completely different then my old friend >mfw I lost a friend just like that > ffs today > be bored at work > decide to read our old chats > makes me tear up I miss you bro How do you cope with this? He was such a good friend and it still hurts

: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 13:53:30 No.196821808 >when the media literacy kicks and the giant man-eating insects are actually the good guys 69 KB JPG

Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:00:02 No.32331309 NEURON METER IQ CERTIFICATE AWARDED TO Gourn Mueller Your IQ score is 74 Neuron Meber What kind of job can I get with an IQ of 74? March 10, 2023 614 KB PNG Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:02:53 No.32331329 A Trump Cabinet appointee

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Anon thinks about traswoman winning female swimming championship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: zeke.jpg (12 KB, 215x235) >Feminists fought for women to have a place in sports >50 years later >Actívists claim feminism should be inclusive >Feminism becomes about queer theory, race and intersectionalism >A transwoman beats a biological woman at sports >Biological women that lost will miss the chance further their sports career >Feminists now have to defend men taking opportunities from women in sports You can't make this s--- up

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Anon is inexperienced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >l assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >l assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >l assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >l bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!"

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anon has a breakhtrough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)00:17:38 No.874637571 how can we get sharks hooked on meth? 63 KB JPG

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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)04:45:08 No.863192613 School recently closed all except 2 A of the bathrooms because of the stupid tik tok s--- >be senior in high school p----- off about the bathrooms >yesterday I drive out to a local asian make your own stir fry restaurant after school (seniors get off two hours 136 KB PNG earlier than underclassmen and can come back to just hang out or whatever) >make a bowl that contains ingredients and sauce that will produce the foul s--- the human digestive system can produce >go to the walmart nearby and pick up a bottle of milk (lactose intolerant) >drive back to school >head to the unlocked bathroom >chug the milk all in one go >l sweat in pain as I push out what feels like viscous streams of molten lava as I blow a mt st helens in this toilet >as I recover, the other two waiting in line vacate themselves from the bathroom >I flush the putrid waste knowing damn well it won't go down >the bell rings as the hallway begins to smell like a chain of a--- bead shaped garlic is ripped from Wario's unshaven a------ They may lock up our bathrooms, but they'll never lock up our spirit

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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Anon has anxiety | /r/Greentext

A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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anon has magic weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/17(Tue)11:59:06 No.740046744 >be me >smokin some of that giggle bush >super high, dont realize that the smoke has drifted under the door of the apt >neighbors call police >wth 74 KB JPG >police knock, I open door Hello sir. We received a call about you smoking cannabis. I can smell it already, so just come with me Anon. >mind races No officer, this is a magic bag of weed. >he steps in, asks Now how tf is that? >start explaining Officer, when I try to get rid of it, it just reappears in my pocket. I'll prove it! >he gets the face, pic related >bring him to bathroom Watch >throw bag in toilet, flush, then do nothing >he looks around confused Where are the drugs Anon? >mfw it worked What drugs?

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Anon is European | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat)02:54:52 No.874698484 I don't really care about the politics or the Ukrainians, but Ukraine is one of the only places with chernozem soil which is the best soil in the world, and I keep thinking about how much of it is going to be lost or contaminated by Putin during the invasion. Why is anyone okay with that? 87 KB JPG Are they just ignorant? Anyone who threatens such perfect soil should be shot immediately. 31 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon becomes a father | /r/Greentext

1h (3/19 0:12) · 67842257 9 Re · 6 Img · PNG · 385KB · (647 × 630) 3 Replies >jacking off and don't grab tissues in time >jizzes on the floor and it hits wolf spider >it scurries away and i don't know where it went >days later i see it again while cleaning >hit it with broom >hundreds of baby spiders scurry away from the mother's back f--- f--- f--- f--- am i a dad /r9k/ i can't take care of them, what do i do??? 1h (3/19 0:13) ·67842265 1 Reply Eat them, free protein •.. •..

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Anon brings her boyfriend home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.

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Cyberpunk 2077 in 1 greentext | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)14:56:08 No.536046118 >>536045734 (OP) >Spend whole budget on Keanu and penisgen >Forget to actually make a game Oops

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Greentext Stories - the effects of 4chan revealed | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

>Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" I think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >It's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan

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