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: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)02:40:36 No.874756441 >>874716800 >Go to the funeral of a little a------ 16yo kid I sold weed to >Mack on the cutest girl there >Turns out it's his sister >Tell her we were best friends >"I never knew he had a close guy friend" >Subtly grills me and I guess I pass the test >Get her number and we start meeting up >Weekly meet-ups become almost daily hanging out >In way too deep, made literal years worth of stories about me and her brother >Been dating 2.5yrs now >Keep a notebook of all the stories l've told so I can keep it straight >Wrote it in a way that it would just look like a journal if she found it >We almost don't talk about him nowadays Parker, if only you knew how much of a freak your sister is, you little f-----.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon interacts with npcs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:09:50 No.67850292 >at the store >go pay for my articles >say Hello how are you? to the cashier >she doesn't reply >scan my items >doesn't tell me the price 994 KB JPG >doesn't ask how I am going to pay >she just look away >gets my money out and pay >leave and tell her 'have a good day' >no reply >go home : Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:14:51 No.67850342 >>67850292 (OP) # just start f------ shoplifting at that point >>67850386 # : Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)00:19:02 No.67850386 >>67850342 # is that why people shoplift?

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

File: monkas.png (211 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:34:11 No.787503440 ITT: When your realised you were retarded >be me >10 years old >on holiday with family >we have a trailer tent >chillin in my bed >rumbleinthejungle.jpeg >haul ass to the camp sites toilets >the door to the only stall is locked >can't be bothered looking to see if someone's in there. >decide to s--- in urinal >at least 6 inch log >for some reason I decide to pick up the log and throw it over the stall door >hear someone in the stall shout "THE F---" >hear him fall off the toilet >run away >mfw >> O Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:35:32 No.787503509 >>787503440 (OP) Imao This is why we shouldn't euthanize tards, humanity needs the comedic relief.

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857.jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)

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Anon pledges a vow of silence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/22(Tue)10:05:18 No.872717870 >be me >high school >notice I haven't said a word in the first week >idea.docx >what if I pledge a vow of silence for the whole semester 21 KB JPG >actually commit >ffw a year >selective mutism >crippling social anxiety >art teacher thought I had autism

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Anon has allergies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 67852442 5 min. ago •.. >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your 174.6 kB PNG room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon doesn't know what to do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i am a good person 06/10/19(Mon)21:52:18 No.52849891 >parents out for a week on vacation >17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping 139 KB JPG >l could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag : Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead 90 KB JPG >>52849935 #

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Anon has a gaming realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/21(Sun)23:52:00 No.2503563 >casually walks into someone's house with a gun >starts harassing the owner 118 KB JPG >babbles in a language he doesn't understand >immediately shoots him in the head when he grabs a hatchet for self-defense >"he isn't a zombie" >"there was a hostile local, I had to neutralize him" Leon was pretty much a d------- here, wasn't he

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F for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end

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Night shift of the living dead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 09/30/21(Thu)08:47:41 No.152667226 >be American >do 10+ hours of unpaid overtime every week and skip their lunchbreaks I havedtoimely no idsa >instead of turning against the company that makes them do these things they instead brag about what 179 KB PNG hard workers they are Why do they do this? I'm seeing it seep into Australian culture too and I don't like it.

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the effects of 4chan revealed | /r/Greentext

>Hear about this 4chan site from r/greentext >Type up 4chan into search bar >click link >Suddenly feel myself getting larger >Expanding >Look at fingers, they look like sausages >Start to weigh 600 pounds 168 KB JPG >My room starts to warp >10 jars of piss surface >Jar surfaces with Rainbow Dash from mlp filled to the brim with coom >Anime body pillow surfaces too >Look outside to take my mind off of this, dont want to see anything else >See black person >Suddenly yell at him and call him a dirty n----- >quickly place hand over mouth >He looks at me and runs off >return to bedroom >Yell for mom to make Tendies >"I have never said that before" I think to myself > Make my way to door, pain >Mom opens door >"Anon, whats going on in here?!" >Suddenly lose control over vocal chords >Yell at her to make me tendies while doing a chicken dance >Mom curses under breathe and tells me we have to go to doctor >Suddenly start REEing >It's so loud >Unsheathe katana from fat rolls >Ohgodno >Decapitate mom >Roll onto back in my own c-- >Kill myself with katana >Thanks 4chan

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Anon thinks about traswoman winning female swimming championship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: zeke.jpg (12 KB, 215x235) >Feminists fought for women to have a place in sports >50 years later >Actívists claim feminism should be inclusive >Feminism becomes about queer theory, race and intersectionalism >A transwoman beats a biological woman at sports >Biological women that lost will miss the chance further their sports career >Feminists now have to defend men taking opportunities from women in sports You can't make this s--- up

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Anon is inexperienced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >l assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >l assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >l assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >l bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!"

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets some bitches | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)02:40:36 No.874756441 >>874716800 >Go to the funeral of a little a------ 16yo kid I sold weed to >Mack on the cutest girl there >Turns out it's his sister >Tell her we were best friends >"I never knew he had a close guy friend" >Subtly grills me and I guess I pass the test >Get her number and we start meeting up >Weekly meet-ups become almost daily hanging out >In way too deep, made literal years worth of stories about me and her brother >Been dating 2.5yrs now >Keep a notebook of all the stories l've told so I can keep it straight >Wrote it in a way that it would just look like a journal if she found it >We almost don't talk about him nowadays Parker, if only you knew how much of a freak your sister is, you little f-----.

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