Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon has a visit to the hospital | /r/Greentext

A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin
A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

anon discovers himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)09:02:54 No.46602339 >be me >have flacid penis fetish >look at d--- >get hard >wait to get soft >look at d--- 22 KB PNG >get hard mfw It never ends
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)09:02:54 No.46602339 >be me >have flacid penis fetish >look at d--- >get hard >wait to get soft >look at d--- 22 KB PNG >get hard mfw It never ends

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw organism terrestrial plant font

History repeats itself | /r/Greentext

File: Help me l'm s alone.jpg (171 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)00:49:06 No.773407002 I find myself in an unfortunate situation, /b/. >Be white guy in college >Join board games club >Playing Risk with Native American guy >He controls North America >l invade, conquer and kill all the units he has there >He says f------ typical and walks away from the game History repeats itself, /b/.
File: Help me l'm s alone.jpg (171 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)00:49:06 No.773407002 I find myself in an unfortunate situation, /b/. >Be white guy in college >Join board games club >Playing Risk with Native American guy >He controls North America >l invade, conquer and kill all the units he has there >He says f------ typical and walks away from the game History repeats itself, /b/.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile jaw organism happy

anon likes lolis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/22(Fri)13:18:42 No.67084058 I f----- myself. So hard. >be walking with normie friends past some little girls >say to myself "God I need a l-----" >one hears me and asks 1.58 MB JPG what the f--- is wrong with me >tells everyone else im a p--- >try to deny it but they don't buy my story My life is over
: Anonymous 01/21/22(Fri)13:18:42 No.67084058 I f----- myself. So hard. >be walking with normie friends past some little girls >say to myself "God I need a l-----" >one hears me and asks 1.58 MB JPG what the f--- is wrong with me >tells everyone else im a p--- >try to deny it but they don't buy my story My life is over

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Femanon experiences the power of Testosterone | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon gets destroyed | /r/Greentext

nonymous 10/19/17(Thu)18:53:57 No.40522220 1482473261832.png (30 KB, 633x758) >>40522285 >go to primary care physician >asks if I'm sexually active >say no of course >she has me have bloodwork done 3weeks later >at pcp's to read results >results are fine >says "you have no STDS, but you already know that" >mfw
nonymous 10/19/17(Thu)18:53:57 No.40522220 1482473261832.png (30 KB, 633x758) >>40522285 >go to primary care physician >asks if I'm sexually active >say no of course >she has me have bloodwork done 3weeks later >at pcp's to read results >results are fine >says "you have no STDS, but you already know that" >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nose head eyebrow eye jaw organism font happy

Anon Father is welder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)03:50:24 No.64588355 >>64585149 (OP) # > dad is a welder > really hard worker, literally works himself to death 39 KB JPG > does it because he loves my family and wants to provide > comes home late, hardly ever see him > 2nd grade in primary school > in class > look at door and see my dad > "excuse me, can I take anon outside to see the eclipse?" > teacher lets me go out with my old man > never seen one before, super stoked, plus I'm happy to see my dad at school > he hands me a welding helmet like pic related and I look at the sun > only lasted about 10 minutes but is still a cherished memory
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)03:50:24 No.64588355 >>64585149 (OP) # > dad is a welder > really hard worker, literally works himself to death 39 KB JPG > does it because he loves my family and wants to provide > comes home late, hardly ever see him > 2nd grade in primary school > in class > look at door and see my dad > "excuse me, can I take anon outside to see the eclipse?" > teacher lets me go out with my old man > never seen one before, super stoked, plus I'm happy to see my dad at school > he hands me a welding helmet like pic related and I look at the sun > only lasted about 10 minutes but is still a cherished memory

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext output device font

Anon has road rage | /r/Greentext

gettyimages Tetra Images 91627513 gettyimages-91627513-612x612.jpg 33 KB JPG >be be
gettyimages Tetra Images 91627513 gettyimages-91627513-612x612.jpg 33 KB JPG >be be

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext hand arm vehicle product car automotive mirror gesture steering wheel finger automotive design thumb motor vehicle personal luxury car

Anon realizes something.... | /r/Greentext

How can anyone believe this guy is straight? Anonymous (ID: GBAC1DAU) [1 01/20/22(T There is zero way this guy is not a homosexual >Has been married for like 8 years and has no children despite claiming to not use birth control. >Once openly called himself bi and said it was in the past >Dresses in drag and pretends to be gay all the time >Barely has any conservative values >Rumors from gay people and trannies who allegedly had sex with him >Has very annoying feminine mannerism >ls Canadian
How can anyone believe this guy is straight? Anonymous (ID: GBAC1DAU) [1 01/20/22(T There is zero way this guy is not a homosexual >Has been married for like 8 years and has no children despite claiming to not use birth control. >Once openly called himself bi and said it was in the past >Dresses in drag and pretends to be gay all the time >Barely has any conservative values >Rumors from gay people and trannies who allegedly had sex with him >Has very annoying feminine mannerism >ls Canadian

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle mammal vegetation font grass

Anon played a get out of jail free nuke | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nose face hair smile eyebrow jaw happy gesture ear font rectangle

Anon is a weeb | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon has a great job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:28:34 No.784096989 Dream job thread? I'll start: >be me >from the day one i loved videogames and wanted to work on them in the future >worked very hard to get to good school 5 KB JPG >no life because of it but thought "f--- it it will be worth it" >graduated uni, one of the best students >looking for job >this one big company asks me to make video game >yaaaaas.phd >it's f------ blizzard >it's f------ diablo mobile How do i end my life?
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:28:34 No.784096989 Dream job thread? I'll start: >be me >from the day one i loved videogames and wanted to work on them in the future >worked very hard to get to good school 5 KB JPG >no life because of it but thought "f--- it it will be worth it" >graduated uni, one of the best students >looking for job >this one big company asks me to make video game >yaaaaas.phd >it's f------ blizzard >it's f------ diablo mobile How do i end my life?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon spends time with his nephew. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:16:00 No.62699465 >be me >sister is having an extra rough day >take my nephew to one of those jump parks just to give her a moment to breath >hes enjoying himself >wants to play dodge ball with the other kids >other kids are 12-14 when he's 7 75 KB PNG >tell him that I won't stop him from having fun but expect no mercy from the older kids >he gets slaughtered >clearly upset >the other kids were clearly targeting him >his entire team gets obliterated >decide enough is enough >walk into doge ball court like big d--- in a locker room >be 25 year old 6'4 fat ass r9k user adult >can throw one of those "balls" with the speed of a meteor compared to the plebeian kids on the other team >re-intact that scene in doge ball where the looser f---- gets really p----- off and murders the entire team solo >jump up on the trampolines so high that when my full fatass weight goes into a throw I knock kids down >kids are flying into the sides of the trampolines after my gorilla throws >nephew thinks its the most badass s--- ever >our team wins >take him out for ice cream after I've not done much with my s----- life but l'll never forget how happy my nephew was to tell my sister that I slam dunked the other children
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:16:00 No.62699465 >be me >sister is having an extra rough day >take my nephew to one of those jump parks just to give her a moment to breath >hes enjoying himself >wants to play dodge ball with the other kids >other kids are 12-14 when he's 7 75 KB PNG >tell him that I won't stop him from having fun but expect no mercy from the older kids >he gets slaughtered >clearly upset >the other kids were clearly targeting him >his entire team gets obliterated >decide enough is enough >walk into doge ball court like big d--- in a locker room >be 25 year old 6'4 fat ass r9k user adult >can throw one of those "balls" with the speed of a meteor compared to the plebeian kids on the other team >re-intact that scene in doge ball where the looser f---- gets really p----- off and murders the entire team solo >jump up on the trampolines so high that when my full fatass weight goes into a throw I knock kids down >kids are flying into the sides of the trampolines after my gorilla throws >nephew thinks its the most badass s--- ever >our team wins >take him out for ice cream after I've not done much with my s----- life but l'll never forget how happy my nephew was to tell my sister that I slam dunked the other children

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Reddit makes anon sad | /r/Greentext

Franklin >be me Goes to Siberian Gulag Jupeh av KO >write greentext resuming my s----- life >next day >hear brother laughing hyserically in his room >go to see what the f--- he's doing 1005 KB JPG >mfw he's on reddit >mfw i see my greentext >mfw he says the guy that wrote it is a f------ loser and should kill himself What do anons
Franklin >be me Goes to Siberian Gulag Jupeh av KO >write greentext resuming my s----- life >next day >hear brother laughing hyserically in his room >go to see what the f--- he's doing 1005 KB JPG >mfw he's on reddit >mfw i see my greentext >mfw he says the guy that wrote it is a f------ loser and should kill himself What do anons

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant rectangle

Anon understands economics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)12:53:56 No.871054735 >>871044681 (OP)# Let me break it down for you, since I'm guessing you're a retard who doesn't understand economics >People get jobs to make enough money to make ends meet. >lf you can't or won't pay them enough to make ends meet, they'll stay unemployed or f--- off and find some other way to survive. This has been a fact of life for literally all of human history. >lt follows that it takes, at a bare minimum, a livable income to make any job worth keeping. >This reasoning applies regardless of whether the McShitter's employee is retarded, a cripple, a meth addict, or anyone else you deem "unworthy" in your fascist arrogance, because that's basic self-preservation. >You either pay them enough to live plus some wiggle room, or they all quit and you have to make your own f------ burger. >Constant bitching about this fact is proof that boomers and d------ rightoids are triggered beyond belief by simple facts about the nature of work. Actually, with the cost of living as it is, they deserve more like $25. Pay up or start cooking for yourself, lazy a------.
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)12:53:56 No.871054735 >>871044681 (OP)# Let me break it down for you, since I'm guessing you're a retard who doesn't understand economics >People get jobs to make enough money to make ends meet. >lf you can't or won't pay them enough to make ends meet, they'll stay unemployed or f--- off and find some other way to survive. This has been a fact of life for literally all of human history. >lt follows that it takes, at a bare minimum, a livable income to make any job worth keeping. >This reasoning applies regardless of whether the McShitter's employee is retarded, a cripple, a meth addict, or anyone else you deem "unworthy" in your fascist arrogance, because that's basic self-preservation. >You either pay them enough to live plus some wiggle room, or they all quit and you have to make your own f------ burger. >Constant bitching about this fact is proof that boomers and d------ rightoids are triggered beyond belief by simple facts about the nature of work. Actually, with the cost of living as it is, they deserve more like $25. Pay up or start cooking for yourself, lazy a------.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon gets jerked off | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: XOUJKHPL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career
O Anonymous (ID: XOUJKHPL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Just found this | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't 23 KB JPG use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over
>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't 23 KB JPG use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has a piece of shit parent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)20:57:28 No.606588964 File: dadscar.jpg (68 KB, 690x383) >>606589533 >>606590215 >>606590494 >>606590720 >>606574925 (OP) >be me >be 5 years old >both dad and i love cars >we both want to get this porsche something hes wanted since he was a kid >he saves up money >i draw a picture of him and i with the porsche >my mom calls my dad >i soon start hearing them fight >i ignore it and keep drawing until i doze off to sleep >next morning i find my drawing >in the trash and ripped to pieces >mom tells me dad didnt like it >i start crying >two months later mom and dad get a divorce >my dad keeps the house and isnt allowed to see me >i move into a new house and i get a new dad >12 years pass >17 years old >find out dad dies from heart problems >i dont care >go to his funeral dont shed a single tear >2 weeks later we go to his house to get his belongings >i head toward the garage >inside was the same exact porsche him and i wanted >untouched and covered in dust >decided to inspect it >look at the glove compartment >its the picture with all the pieces expertly taped together >it turns out my mom ripped it and he went thru the trash to get all the pieces to tape it back together >i start crying my eyes out >i dont talk to my mom anymore i till own the porsche and i plan to never sell it
Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)20:57:28 No.606588964 File: dadscar.jpg (68 KB, 690x383) >>606589533 >>606590215 >>606590494 >>606590720 >>606574925 (OP) >be me >be 5 years old >both dad and i love cars >we both want to get this porsche something hes wanted since he was a kid >he saves up money >i draw a picture of him and i with the porsche >my mom calls my dad >i soon start hearing them fight >i ignore it and keep drawing until i doze off to sleep >next morning i find my drawing >in the trash and ripped to pieces >mom tells me dad didnt like it >i start crying >two months later mom and dad get a divorce >my dad keeps the house and isnt allowed to see me >i move into a new house and i get a new dad >12 years pass >17 years old >find out dad dies from heart problems >i dont care >go to his funeral dont shed a single tear >2 weeks later we go to his house to get his belongings >i head toward the garage >inside was the same exact porsche him and i wanted >untouched and covered in dust >decided to inspect it >look at the glove compartment >its the picture with all the pieces expertly taped together >it turns out my mom ripped it and he went thru the trash to get all the pieces to tape it back together >i start crying my eyes out >i dont talk to my mom anymore i till own the porsche and i plan to never sell it

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext motor vehicle font

Anon loses his temper (the image says "Well well well... How the turntables" If you can't see it very well) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/19(Mon)17:04:33 No.5116249 >be me >mom dies giving birth >dad blames me. Is abusive for as long as i can remember >kicks the s--- out of me and tells Well, well, well, how the turntables. me he hates me 1.01 MB PNG >ffw to when i'm 16 >dad smacks me for no reason as usual >lose my temper properly for the first time >red mist, can't actually remember what i did to him, i just remember getting off him while his nose is pouring with blood >never hits me again >occaisionally give him a good f------ smack for all the abuse over the years >eventually get a job and move out by the age of 18 >haven't spoken to the prick since
: Anonymous 02/25/19(Mon)17:04:33 No.5116249 >be me >mom dies giving birth >dad blames me. Is abusive for as long as i can remember >kicks the s--- out of me and tells Well, well, well, how the turntables. me he hates me 1.01 MB PNG >ffw to when i'm 16 >dad smacks me for no reason as usual >lose my temper properly for the first time >red mist, can't actually remember what i did to him, i just remember getting off him while his nose is pouring with blood >never hits me again >occaisionally give him a good f------ smack for all the abuse over the years >eventually get a job and move out by the age of 18 >haven't spoken to the prick since

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon joins the Army | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext