How can anyone believe this guy is straight? Anonymous (ID: GBAC1DAU) [1 01/20/22(T There is zero way this guy is not a homosexual >Has been married for like 8 years and has no children despite claiming to not use birth control. >Once openly called himself bi and said it was in the past >Dresses in drag and pretends to be gay all the time >Barely has any conservative values >Rumors from gay people and trannies who allegedly had sex with him >Has very annoying feminine mannerism >ls Canadian

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File: images (1).jpg (7 KB, 228x221) Go to the gym and seek self improvement ffs Anonymous 11/30/24(Sat)21:49:58 No.32380026 >be me >have best friend for 5 years >let's call him Dave >Dave has been in love with his childhood friend/crush since grade 1 >we'll call her Abigail > She is active in sports and has an excellent grade in uni >Abigail gets a boyfriend >dude is a gym Chad™ >Dave goes full rage mode >rants to me about how "Chads" steal all the girls and women only like jerks >Dave says Abigail's bf treats her like crap and sleeps with lot of women >actually met Abigail's bf >he's legit the nicest guy I've met >Christian, has never slept with women, devout but doesn't push it on anyone >major in peace studies and wants to become a charity worker abroad >dude even helped me out at the gym >went from skinny as hell to gaining 10kg in 2 months thanks to him >We play basketball together with his bros >Dave, meanwhile, is lazy, overweight, watches anime/LoL all day, and spams edgy s--- on 4chan >bro, get your act together Dave, I know you're reading this because you live on /b/. Abigail didn't pick her bf just because he's jacked. She picked him because he's actually a decent human being. Take a hard look at yourself and stop spreading lies about someone who's better than you in every way. Touch some grass, bro.

Anonymous 12/01/24(Sun)17:30:56 No.696094373 1.09 MB JPG >this will increase our sale revenue

pink >be me, pink floyd fan floyd the 31 KB JPG final out >1983 >new pink floyd album released >"the final cut >go out and buy record >return home >gee, let's hope it isn't about roger waters' dad dying again >start record >"tell me true, tell me why, was Jesus crucified" >great so far >"was it for this that... daddy died" >godfuckingdammit.png >rip pin off >fling record out window >well, hopefully they return to their usual quality next album

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Anon played a get out of jail free nuke | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon is a weeb | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a great job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:28:34 No.784096989 Dream job thread? I'll start: >be me >from the day one i loved videogames and wanted to work on them in the future >worked very hard to get to good school 5 KB JPG >no life because of it but thought "f--- it it will be worth it" >graduated uni, one of the best students >looking for job >this one big company asks me to make video game >yaaaaas.phd >it's f------ blizzard >it's f------ diablo mobile How do i end my life?

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Anon spends time with his nephew. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:16:00 No.62699465 >be me >sister is having an extra rough day >take my nephew to one of those jump parks just to give her a moment to breath >hes enjoying himself >wants to play dodge ball with the other kids >other kids are 12-14 when he's 7 75 KB PNG >tell him that I won't stop him from having fun but expect no mercy from the older kids >he gets slaughtered >clearly upset >the other kids were clearly targeting him >his entire team gets obliterated >decide enough is enough >walk into doge ball court like big d--- in a locker room >be 25 year old 6'4 fat ass r9k user adult >can throw one of those "balls" with the speed of a meteor compared to the plebeian kids on the other team >re-intact that scene in doge ball where the looser f---- gets really p----- off and murders the entire team solo >jump up on the trampolines so high that when my full fatass weight goes into a throw I knock kids down >kids are flying into the sides of the trampolines after my gorilla throws >nephew thinks its the most badass s--- ever >our team wins >take him out for ice cream after I've not done much with my s----- life but l'll never forget how happy my nephew was to tell my sister that I slam dunked the other children

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Reddit makes anon sad | /r/Greentext

Franklin >be me Goes to Siberian Gulag Jupeh av KO >write greentext resuming my s----- life >next day >hear brother laughing hyserically in his room >go to see what the f--- he's doing 1005 KB JPG >mfw he's on reddit >mfw i see my greentext >mfw he says the guy that wrote it is a f------ loser and should kill himself What do anons

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Anon understands economics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)12:53:56 No.871054735 >>871044681 (OP)# Let me break it down for you, since I'm guessing you're a retard who doesn't understand economics >People get jobs to make enough money to make ends meet. >lf you can't or won't pay them enough to make ends meet, they'll stay unemployed or f--- off and find some other way to survive. This has been a fact of life for literally all of human history. >lt follows that it takes, at a bare minimum, a livable income to make any job worth keeping. >This reasoning applies regardless of whether the McShitter's employee is retarded, a cripple, a meth addict, or anyone else you deem "unworthy" in your fascist arrogance, because that's basic self-preservation. >You either pay them enough to live plus some wiggle room, or they all quit and you have to make your own f------ burger. >Constant bitching about this fact is proof that boomers and d------ rightoids are triggered beyond belief by simple facts about the nature of work. Actually, with the cost of living as it is, they deserve more like $25. Pay up or start cooking for yourself, lazy a------.

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Anon gets jerked off | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: XOUJKHPL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

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Just found this | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't 23 KB JPG use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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Anon has a piece of shit parent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)20:57:28 No.606588964 File: dadscar.jpg (68 KB, 690x383) >>606589533 >>606590215 >>606590494 >>606590720 >>606574925 (OP) >be me >be 5 years old >both dad and i love cars >we both want to get this porsche something hes wanted since he was a kid >he saves up money >i draw a picture of him and i with the porsche >my mom calls my dad >i soon start hearing them fight >i ignore it and keep drawing until i doze off to sleep >next morning i find my drawing >in the trash and ripped to pieces >mom tells me dad didnt like it >i start crying >two months later mom and dad get a divorce >my dad keeps the house and isnt allowed to see me >i move into a new house and i get a new dad >12 years pass >17 years old >find out dad dies from heart problems >i dont care >go to his funeral dont shed a single tear >2 weeks later we go to his house to get his belongings >i head toward the garage >inside was the same exact porsche him and i wanted >untouched and covered in dust >decided to inspect it >look at the glove compartment >its the picture with all the pieces expertly taped together >it turns out my mom ripped it and he went thru the trash to get all the pieces to tape it back together >i start crying my eyes out >i dont talk to my mom anymore i till own the porsche and i plan to never sell it

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Anon loses his temper (the image says "Well well well... How the turntables" If you can't see it very well) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/19(Mon)17:04:33 No.5116249 >be me >mom dies giving birth >dad blames me. Is abusive for as long as i can remember >kicks the s--- out of me and tells Well, well, well, how the turntables. me he hates me 1.01 MB PNG >ffw to when i'm 16 >dad smacks me for no reason as usual >lose my temper properly for the first time >red mist, can't actually remember what i did to him, i just remember getting off him while his nose is pouring with blood >never hits me again >occaisionally give him a good f------ smack for all the abuse over the years >eventually get a job and move out by the age of 18 >haven't spoken to the prick since

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Anon joins the Army | /r/Greentext

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We saved him! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a 170 KB JPG depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. 82 Replies / 23 Images View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon realizes something.... | /r/Greentext

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How can anyone believe this guy is straight? Anonymous (ID: GBAC1DAU) [1 01/20/22(T There is zero way this guy is not a homosexual >Has been married for like 8 years and has no children despite claiming to not use birth control. >Once openly called himself bi and said it was in the past >Dresses in drag and pretends to be gay all the time >Barely has any conservative values >Rumors from gay people and trannies who allegedly had sex with him >Has very annoying feminine mannerism >ls Canadian

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