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Anon will never go out of his house again | /r/Greentext

1m (8/4 13:58) · 64830690 O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 118KB · (1080 × 1246) >be me >walking on the streets >see female >sigmadisgust.jpg >immediatly go home and never go out again
1m (8/4 13:58) · 64830690 O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 118KB · (1080 × 1246) >be me >walking on the streets >see female >sigmadisgust.jpg >immediatly go home and never go out again

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Anon watches anime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)03:37:41 No.860314126 >Be me >Watch an old anime for the first time, not a weeb but I like a few anime and manga >Enjoy plot, move onto movie when done with series 321 KB PNG >Opening scene is main character c------ into hand after looking at unconscious girl's booba while in a coma >Go to the subreddit like a f-- to see why this happened in the first place >Get hated on because it's "art" and "art should challenge our comfort" >mfw Am I in the wrong for thinking an 8th grader using a hospitalized 8th grader for j------- material then nutting into his hand is too much? I know Berserk (picture) isn't exactly a wholesome manga but at least it's not showing 8th grader c-- as "art"
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)03:37:41 No.860314126 >Be me >Watch an old anime for the first time, not a weeb but I like a few anime and manga >Enjoy plot, move onto movie when done with series 321 KB PNG >Opening scene is main character c------ into hand after looking at unconscious girl's booba while in a coma >Go to the subreddit like a f-- to see why this happened in the first place >Get hated on because it's "art" and "art should challenge our comfort" >mfw Am I in the wrong for thinking an 8th grader using a hospitalized 8th grader for j------- material then nutting into his hand is too much? I know Berserk (picture) isn't exactly a wholesome manga but at least it's not showing 8th grader c-- as "art"

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)16:22:14 No.60738166 >be me >depressed >write about it on 4chan >gets called a f-- >mfw 91 KB PNG : Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)16:25:52 No.60738198 >>60738166 (OP) # >mfw i call op a f-- 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)16:22:14 No.60738166 >be me >depressed >write about it on 4chan >gets called a f-- >mfw 91 KB PNG : Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)16:25:52 No.60738198 >>60738166 (OP) # >mfw i call op a f-- 15 KB JPG

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That's what you get for coming to reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:44:31 No.64691841 Goth Girl: "Ugh I want to F--- zabloingus >go on reddit >see post about ww2 >specifically about how all german soldiers were horrible people >decide to disagree with them >get downvoted to hell >start talking about how all Soviet 113 KB JPG and Japanese soldiers were evil people in the replies >banned from subreddit : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:46:25 No.64691851 >>64691841 (OP) # You should've gone to Grindr and gotten TOPPED instead >>64692295 #
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:44:31 No.64691841 Goth Girl: "Ugh I want to F--- zabloingus >go on reddit >see post about ww2 >specifically about how all german soldiers were horrible people >decide to disagree with them >get downvoted to hell >start talking about how all Soviet 113 KB JPG and Japanese soldiers were evil people in the replies >banned from subreddit : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:46:25 No.64691851 >>64691841 (OP) # You should've gone to Grindr and gotten TOPPED instead >>64692295 #

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Chadanon plays smash bros | /r/Greentext

File: mariochad.png (205 KB, 527x590) O Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)03:59:48 No.860314808 >be me >12yo >2002 >playing Super Smash Bros. Melee with older brother >character select screen >he chooses Falco >I choose Princess Peach >"anon why would you pick a girl character are you f------ gay" >match starts >immediately go into camera mode and gaze up Peach's skirt
File: mariochad.png (205 KB, 527x590) O Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)03:59:48 No.860314808 >be me >12yo >2002 >playing Super Smash Bros. Melee with older brother >character select screen >he chooses Falco >I choose Princess Peach >"anon why would you pick a girl character are you f------ gay" >match starts >immediately go into camera mode and gaze up Peach's skirt

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Anon does a miniscule amount of trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XMZNOvyg 08/04/21(Wed)14:26:23 No.332762037 Made a few greentexts before but never got any comments so had an idea > make reddit account > go to r/greentext > make s----- post claiming had sex with cousin using some random 4chan thread generator 12 KB JPG > Get thousands of upvotes > mfw never even been on 4chan > mfw redditors upvote anything that mentions sex
: Anonymous (ID: XMZNOvyg 08/04/21(Wed)14:26:23 No.332762037 Made a few greentexts before but never got any comments so had an idea > make reddit account > go to r/greentext > make s----- post claiming had sex with cousin using some random 4chan thread generator 12 KB JPG > Get thousands of upvotes > mfw never even been on 4chan > mfw redditors upvote anything that mentions sex

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Anon gets a burn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)02:53:12 No.844018787 I accidentally burnt myself by brushing against the roof of the oven lads. How bad is it? Iced a lot from first 60 seconds to a few hours out in and off and have been applying aloe. 1.71 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)02:55:48 No.844018922 >>844018787 (OP) # We're gonna have to put you down anon. I'm sorry. 39 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)02:53:12 No.844018787 I accidentally burnt myself by brushing against the roof of the oven lads. How bad is it? Iced a lot from first 60 seconds to a few hours out in and off and have been applying aloe. 1.71 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)02:55:48 No.844018922 >>844018787 (OP) # We're gonna have to put you down anon. I'm sorry. 39 KB JPG

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Anon does a thing | /r/Greentext

>be me >sex >wait >no >Skyrim dammit Todd Howard
>be me >sex >wait >no >Skyrim dammit Todd Howard

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Anon is Close to His Sister | /r/Greentext


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Anon’s a porn addict | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/18(Mon)11:38:01 No.48571427 >have a dream where my p--- addiction ruins my life >wake up >first thing I do is watch p--- Get me outta here How do I escape this? Help. 260 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/08/18(Mon)11:38:01 No.48571427 >have a dream where my p--- addiction ruins my life >wake up >first thing I do is watch p--- Get me outta here How do I escape this? Help. 260 KB PNG

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Anon at the vet | /r/Greentext


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Anon enjoys living in Brazil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am l'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because l'm not.
: Anonymous O 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am l'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because l'm not.

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Wishing I was anon | /r/Greentext


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Anon saw a cat | /r/Greentext

>Be me >14 >Socially awkward teenager >Don't have too many friends except for this kid Henry >Somehow even more socially 140 KB JPG awkward than me >We like to wonder the alleys on the southside of Chicago >We're not black, but usually people can tell we live in the hood so no troubles >One day we see this really cute alley cat strolling around >cat looks emaciated as f--- >we're young and assume it's a stray with no owner >But wait, kitties got a collar >Tag on the collar says "love" >We think its gay and at the insistence of Henry, we call him F--. > I know that's pretty lame, but we're 14 >take f-- under our wing >We feed him, stroll the alleys, etc >One day we are walking with f-- >Suddenly realize we're in the same alley that we found him in >Big black dude comes outside >Pistol in his waste >Oh f--- >"Whatchu doin' with my cat?" >Cat runs behind me and Henry >Stupid ass Henry says "F-- is with us now!" >"What? You callin my cat a f--?!" >l'm panicking. "Henry you f------ idiot" >Next thing I know >BANG >Blood is streaming out of my chest >With my last breaths I yell at Henry >"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" >"YOU GAVE LOVE, A BAD NAME.
>Be me >14 >Socially awkward teenager >Don't have too many friends except for this kid Henry >Somehow even more socially 140 KB JPG awkward than me >We like to wonder the alleys on the southside of Chicago >We're not black, but usually people can tell we live in the hood so no troubles >One day we see this really cute alley cat strolling around >cat looks emaciated as f--- >we're young and assume it's a stray with no owner >But wait, kitties got a collar >Tag on the collar says "love" >We think its gay and at the insistence of Henry, we call him F--. > I know that's pretty lame, but we're 14 >take f-- under our wing >We feed him, stroll the alleys, etc >One day we are walking with f-- >Suddenly realize we're in the same alley that we found him in >Big black dude comes outside >Pistol in his waste >Oh f--- >"Whatchu doin' with my cat?" >Cat runs behind me and Henry >Stupid ass Henry says "F-- is with us now!" >"What? You callin my cat a f--?!" >l'm panicking. "Henry you f------ idiot" >Next thing I know >BANG >Blood is streaming out of my chest >With my last breaths I yell at Henry >"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" >"YOU GAVE LOVE, A BAD NAME.

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Based Anon Bullies Manlet | /r/Greentext


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Anon asserts his dominance. | /r/Greentext

>be me >first grade >currently recess >spot a slide >epic >go play on the slide >a lot of other children are playing 164 KB JPG >get tired of waiting >piss on the slide and some students >they cry and run like the f------ they are >the slide is for me for the entirety of year
>be me >first grade >currently recess >spot a slide >epic >go play on the slide >a lot of other children are playing 164 KB JPG >get tired of waiting >piss on the slide and some students >they cry and run like the f------ they are >the slide is for me for the entirety of year

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A simps life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES

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Anon fucked up. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Don't Be Me 08/03/21(Tue)08:16:18 No.64817540 >In 4th grade was put into a group for kids with musical talent. Sat next to a girl because it was the only seat left >Call her Jane; was was smart as f---, very kinds, and gorgeous. Incredibly talented musician. We somehow become friends >We do music together all the time. By 6th grade we're part of a youth orchestra and 715 KB GIF even play for money as part of a band that did weddings. She is super-smart and we study together all the time. I was totally in love. >But she is already easily the valedictorian; her family has a ton of money; she is gorgeous and getting more so al the time. >Meanwhile I am skinny, short, poor, and not that smart >But we stay friends. The band hosts dances so we go together to host, but we never dance >By sophomore year she is easily the prettiest girl I know personally and everyone was just stunned by her. Grown men routinely hit on her. But she was a devout Catholic and wouldn't even date until she was ready to marry. >l ended up 5'5", ugly, and balding at 17 >Senior year she was early admittance to an Ivy, I was going to state. I finally worked up the courage to ask he to a dance, we went. It was great, like a dream. I decided I was going to make myself into something, prove I was good enough, so I buckled down and did well in uni, deciding l'd get a PhD and then tell her how I feel >Her sophomore year she met a guy, dropped out of uni, and got married at 20. NGL, I cried for 3 hours >The next Christmas I visited - she had her baby with her. Met her husband, he was as perfect as she. >I had a few minutes alone with her and for some stupid reason confessed I had always loved her. She was FURIOUS! >"I always loved YOU but you never said or did anything! I used to cry myself to sleep because I wasn't pretty enough or special enough for you to notice me! I turned down everyone else because I loved YOU and you went off to university without a word! Now, NOW, you say something?! Too late! I married an actual MAN!" Don't be me, telIl her
Anonymous Don't Be Me 08/03/21(Tue)08:16:18 No.64817540 >In 4th grade was put into a group for kids with musical talent. Sat next to a girl because it was the only seat left >Call her Jane; was was smart as f---, very kinds, and gorgeous. Incredibly talented musician. We somehow become friends >We do music together all the time. By 6th grade we're part of a youth orchestra and 715 KB GIF even play for money as part of a band that did weddings. She is super-smart and we study together all the time. I was totally in love. >But she is already easily the valedictorian; her family has a ton of money; she is gorgeous and getting more so al the time. >Meanwhile I am skinny, short, poor, and not that smart >But we stay friends. The band hosts dances so we go together to host, but we never dance >By sophomore year she is easily the prettiest girl I know personally and everyone was just stunned by her. Grown men routinely hit on her. But she was a devout Catholic and wouldn't even date until she was ready to marry. >l ended up 5'5", ugly, and balding at 17 >Senior year she was early admittance to an Ivy, I was going to state. I finally worked up the courage to ask he to a dance, we went. It was great, like a dream. I decided I was going to make myself into something, prove I was good enough, so I buckled down and did well in uni, deciding l'd get a PhD and then tell her how I feel >Her sophomore year she met a guy, dropped out of uni, and got married at 20. NGL, I cried for 3 hours >The next Christmas I visited - she had her baby with her. Met her husband, he was as perfect as she. >I had a few minutes alone with her and for some stupid reason confessed I had always loved her. She was FURIOUS! >"I always loved YOU but you never said or did anything! I used to cry myself to sleep because I wasn't pretty enough or special enough for you to notice me! I turned down everyone else because I loved YOU and you went off to university without a word! Now, NOW, you say something?! Too late! I married an actual MAN!" Don't be me, telIl her

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Anon needs to use the bathroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/18(Mon)15:18:31 No.781833365 >be me, 17 >khv, ugly face >have brother, 1 year BRING IT ON younger >brothers gf is 7/10 qt3.14 >sometimes gives me weird eyes, but I don't think 35 KB JPG too much about it >come home one day and find her in my room's toilet, door locked >w--.dll >wanted to take a soak before going out for the evening >brother taking a shower in his own, so she had to use mine >say I need to pee, ask her to open it >she opens it in a towel >she looks perfect in it, body makes her a 10/10 >she catches me looking at her and smiles >"why don't you get in the tub with me, anon" >holyshitthisisit.mpeg >take off my clothes, get in the bathtub >"close your eyes" >close my eyes for a millisecond >the entire building jerks >nononotnow.pdf >feel the floor give way >hear her screaming fading into the distance >open my eyes >feel cold icy winds rushing past my ear >the bathtub has 4 wheels and is being drawn by a horse through a forest >"Hey you, you were trying to cross the border right" >Too late, I turn around >Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim >Todd Howard you camelfucking son of a bitch, you've done it again
: Anonymous 10/08/18(Mon)15:18:31 No.781833365 >be me, 17 >khv, ugly face >have brother, 1 year BRING IT ON younger >brothers gf is 7/10 qt3.14 >sometimes gives me weird eyes, but I don't think 35 KB JPG too much about it >come home one day and find her in my room's toilet, door locked >w--.dll >wanted to take a soak before going out for the evening >brother taking a shower in his own, so she had to use mine >say I need to pee, ask her to open it >she opens it in a towel >she looks perfect in it, body makes her a 10/10 >she catches me looking at her and smiles >"why don't you get in the tub with me, anon" >holyshitthisisit.mpeg >take off my clothes, get in the bathtub >"close your eyes" >close my eyes for a millisecond >the entire building jerks >nononotnow.pdf >feel the floor give way >hear her screaming fading into the distance >open my eyes >feel cold icy winds rushing past my ear >the bathtub has 4 wheels and is being drawn by a horse through a forest >"Hey you, you were trying to cross the border right" >Too late, I turn around >Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim >Todd Howard you camelfucking son of a bitch, you've done it again

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Anons frightening poop experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)22:52:54 No.860294687 >be me >be taking a s--- at work before the shift starts >guy enters the stall next to me >hear a couple healthy sounding bloops >mystery guy proceeds to get up without wiping 14 KB JPG >w-- >wonder if this dude is about to just leave without wiping >no >instead this guy shuffles from the stall on my left over to the one on my right >he continues taking his deuce >be absolutely baffled as I finish up my own s--- routine >get up and check the stall to my left >there's still plenty of toilet paper >decide to stop asking questions and just leave It's been bothering me all day. What the hell happened this morning? Why would anyone do such a thing?
: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)22:52:54 No.860294687 >be me >be taking a s--- at work before the shift starts >guy enters the stall next to me >hear a couple healthy sounding bloops >mystery guy proceeds to get up without wiping 14 KB JPG >w-- >wonder if this dude is about to just leave without wiping >no >instead this guy shuffles from the stall on my left over to the one on my right >he continues taking his deuce >be absolutely baffled as I finish up my own s--- routine >get up and check the stall to my left >there's still plenty of toilet paper >decide to stop asking questions and just leave It's been bothering me all day. What the hell happened this morning? Why would anyone do such a thing?

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