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anon gives us some advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)14:06:47 No.860195133 alien pepe.jpg 6 KB JPG >be me >get alien gf >says she wants to peg me >i comply >prepare for the p------ >feel it go in >ngh >i turn around and she's probing me, not p------ me >"i can't believe you would trick me like this" i say "we're done" >i hop out her ufo, she's begging me to stay as i'm leaving >my advice, never let your alien gf peg you
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)14:06:47 No.860195133 alien pepe.jpg 6 KB JPG >be me >get alien gf >says she wants to peg me >i comply >prepare for the p------ >feel it go in >ngh >i turn around and she's probing me, not p------ me >"i can't believe you would trick me like this" i say "we're done" >i hop out her ufo, she's begging me to stay as i'm leaving >my advice, never let your alien gf peg you

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Glass half full | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)09:53:14 No.64805434 BELETARLTO >meet autistic girl on campus >wears glasses >is also hated by everyone in same campus >reason why is because she sleeps with almost every guy >has an onlyfans 154 KB JPG Why does this always happens to me, I just want my second chance on a nerdy glasses clad gf. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)10:12:30 No.64805563 : Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)10:13:56 No.64805575 : Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)11:24:54 No.64806034 >>64805434 (OP) # well go f--- her then. also post her OF
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)09:53:14 No.64805434 BELETARLTO >meet autistic girl on campus >wears glasses >is also hated by everyone in same campus >reason why is because she sleeps with almost every guy >has an onlyfans 154 KB JPG Why does this always happens to me, I just want my second chance on a nerdy glasses clad gf. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)10:12:30 No.64805563 : Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)10:13:56 No.64805575 : Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)11:24:54 No.64806034 >>64805434 (OP) # well go f--- her then. also post her OF

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The End of the Scene/Emo Era for all 90’s Babies. FeelsBadMan. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/14/18(Wed)02:03:49 No.49268962 >tfw ideal is qt emo looking gf >pale skin, black hair, bangs, cute face, not fat >it's not 2008 anymore >l didn't have to courage to talk to them when I was a 54 KB PNG teenager >emo chicks aren't around anymore, especially in 20s age bracket this feels like when your favourite food place stops making your favourite limited time food, but worse.
: Anonymous 11/14/18(Wed)02:03:49 No.49268962 >tfw ideal is qt emo looking gf >pale skin, black hair, bangs, cute face, not fat >it's not 2008 anymore >l didn't have to courage to talk to them when I was a 54 KB PNG teenager >emo chicks aren't around anymore, especially in 20s age bracket this feels like when your favourite food place stops making your favourite limited time food, but worse.

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Anon Likes to Party Hard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)19:36:24 No.64612555 >got drunk and fired the gun in the house again >mom is threatening to kick me out Bros... 16 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)19:36:24 No.64612555 >got drunk and fired the gun in the house again >mom is threatening to kick me out Bros... 16 KB PNG

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Anon Finds a Way | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: XOOL8pr) 07/08/14(Tue)22:53:41 No.555459995 File: mcmahon-is-shocked.png (142 KB, 503x301) >>555460878 Have idiot friend who always like f------ with people when he is drunk. >Be drunk >Going to grab a taxi close to bar >3 taxis in a row >Get into the taxi standing in the back. >"Hi I want to go home, but I don't have any money." >"How about you take me to an alley first and I suck your d--- as payment?" >Taxi driver screams and tells him to f--- off. >Walk up to taxi in the middle. >Same routine >Same answer. "F--- off!" >Walk up to taxi in front. Gets in. >"Hi I would like to home," >Taxi takes off. >Other taxi drivers faces when
O Anonymous (ID: XOOL8pr) 07/08/14(Tue)22:53:41 No.555459995 File: mcmahon-is-shocked.png (142 KB, 503x301) >>555460878 Have idiot friend who always like f------ with people when he is drunk. >Be drunk >Going to grab a taxi close to bar >3 taxis in a row >Get into the taxi standing in the back. >"Hi I want to go home, but I don't have any money." >"How about you take me to an alley first and I suck your d--- as payment?" >Taxi driver screams and tells him to f--- off. >Walk up to taxi in the middle. >Same routine >Same answer. "F--- off!" >Walk up to taxi in front. Gets in. >"Hi I would like to home," >Taxi takes off. >Other taxi drivers faces when

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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)11:27:36 No.860186770 >be you >aspire to be a police officer ever since you were a kid >Heavily influenced by your family's military history and movies like RoboCop >you then spend 6 months at the police academy, going through all the pain and strife. You almost die, but you are persistent as f--- >6 months of later, you finally earn your badge. But then you actually get to become a police officer. And in Ruckersville, Virginia of all places. The most white people town white people have ever white people'd. >Ruckersville, Virginia is a boring place to be a cop. Literally just old timey ass homes, a lot of farmland 240 KB JPG and s---. >Not as exciting as you thought. At worst you deal with are hobo druggies stoned out of their minds >Until one day, you're informed that you're going to arrest someone infamous >HolyShitThislt.jpg >The pinnacle of your career. Finally something that can match what you wanted to sign up for >On your way there, you are imagining out a scenario where things get heavy. Maybe the guy you're after might use deadly force. >You go in, only to find out you're arresting Chris Chan. F------ Chris Chan. >There is no epic battle, there are no heroics, just carrying away some sad demented sperg while some weirdos film it all for millions of internet strangers to witness. >Your name will be remembered, just not the way you envision >Tfw
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)11:27:36 No.860186770 >be you >aspire to be a police officer ever since you were a kid >Heavily influenced by your family's military history and movies like RoboCop >you then spend 6 months at the police academy, going through all the pain and strife. You almost die, but you are persistent as f--- >6 months of later, you finally earn your badge. But then you actually get to become a police officer. And in Ruckersville, Virginia of all places. The most white people town white people have ever white people'd. >Ruckersville, Virginia is a boring place to be a cop. Literally just old timey ass homes, a lot of farmland 240 KB JPG and s---. >Not as exciting as you thought. At worst you deal with are hobo druggies stoned out of their minds >Until one day, you're informed that you're going to arrest someone infamous >HolyShitThislt.jpg >The pinnacle of your career. Finally something that can match what you wanted to sign up for >On your way there, you are imagining out a scenario where things get heavy. Maybe the guy you're after might use deadly force. >You go in, only to find out you're arresting Chris Chan. F------ Chris Chan. >There is no epic battle, there are no heroics, just carrying away some sad demented sperg while some weirdos film it all for millions of internet strangers to witness. >Your name will be remembered, just not the way you envision >Tfw

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Anon needs to take a shit | /r/Greentext

>have one toilet >sister is in there putting on makeup or something for what feels like hours >have to take s--- >at this point im crossing my legs in a double pretzel knot and flailing around 15 KB JPG >cant hold it >gonna s--- the next time my colon pushes >make a dash out the backdoor to the backyard >take huge s--- in the middle of the yard >pull up pants and walk into kitchen to get napkins to wipe with >fast forward to next day >me and my dad go out in the backyard to do some yardwork >dad calls me over >"what in gods name is your mother feeding the dogs?" >i-i dont know dad... >"jesus christ almighty...get your mother out here" >go inside and bring mother out >my mom looks at it >"good god!" >sister comes outside to see whats going on >"ewww" >mfw my entire family is crowded around my s--- looking at it like its a dinosaur egg >dad looks at me >"son go get the shovel and toss this over the fence" >yes sir >toss my s--- over the fence >my parents start feeding our dogs half of what they regularly get >its either that or i confess >im sorry jack and carly but looks like you're going on a diet and taking one for the team
>have one toilet >sister is in there putting on makeup or something for what feels like hours >have to take s--- >at this point im crossing my legs in a double pretzel knot and flailing around 15 KB JPG >cant hold it >gonna s--- the next time my colon pushes >make a dash out the backdoor to the backyard >take huge s--- in the middle of the yard >pull up pants and walk into kitchen to get napkins to wipe with >fast forward to next day >me and my dad go out in the backyard to do some yardwork >dad calls me over >"what in gods name is your mother feeding the dogs?" >i-i dont know dad... >"jesus christ almighty...get your mother out here" >go inside and bring mother out >my mom looks at it >"good god!" >sister comes outside to see whats going on >"ewww" >mfw my entire family is crowded around my s--- looking at it like its a dinosaur egg >dad looks at me >"son go get the shovel and toss this over the fence" >yes sir >toss my s--- over the fence >my parents start feeding our dogs half of what they regularly get >its either that or i confess >im sorry jack and carly but looks like you're going on a diet and taking one for the team

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Spiteful living | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)12:16:20 No.64806547 >be shut-in loser with no friends >if I ever killed myself all my relatives would think "yeah, of course he did, he was a shut-in loser with no friends" AW, SCHBISSE. >this knowledge gives me the power to keep on going out of pure spite so that I don't give anyone the satisfaction of thinking that 297 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)12:16:20 No.64806547 >be shut-in loser with no friends >if I ever killed myself all my relatives would think "yeah, of course he did, he was a shut-in loser with no friends" AW, SCHBISSE. >this knowledge gives me the power to keep on going out of pure spite so that I don't give anyone the satisfaction of thinking that 297 KB PNG

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Anon is Jesus. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)09:01:37 No.64799535 >be the divine being that resides over time and space >check in on the monkeys >they've built too many institutions, are losing sight of the purpose of it all >be jesus >antagonize religious institution, remind 187 KB PNG others that love was always more important than the flesh >live and die just so others could have the chance to hear the good word >ff 2000 years >"well yeah, god loves you and will always forgive you" >"well yeah god will send you to a literal hellscape where you'll be tortured for eternity unless you follow the specific ritual of this certain denomination" >"well yeah only people who accept the word of god can get into heaven" S"well yeah god has planned out everyones life" >"yeah even the ones who go to hell" >"yeah even the ones who aren't given the opportunity to hear about christianity, and are thereby sentenced to hell"
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)09:01:37 No.64799535 >be the divine being that resides over time and space >check in on the monkeys >they've built too many institutions, are losing sight of the purpose of it all >be jesus >antagonize religious institution, remind 187 KB PNG others that love was always more important than the flesh >live and die just so others could have the chance to hear the good word >ff 2000 years >"well yeah, god loves you and will always forgive you" >"well yeah god will send you to a literal hellscape where you'll be tortured for eternity unless you follow the specific ritual of this certain denomination" >"well yeah only people who accept the word of god can get into heaven" S"well yeah god has planned out everyones life" >"yeah even the ones who go to hell" >"yeah even the ones who aren't given the opportunity to hear about christianity, and are thereby sentenced to hell"

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Anon is dating | /r/Greentext

>2008 >be 14 >play wow >meet someone who claims to be girl >didn't really believe but they were really funny so f--- it >played together for like 4 months, then she asked for skype >we started to talk alot >2 months later we agree for a skype cal >it actually was a woman >sperg out, get really nervous >she's nervous too 546.9 kB PNG >after few minutes of stuttering we start joking around >call ended up going for 5 hours >5 months of talking later >she confesses her love for me >i say i love her too >the most happiest moment of my life at the time >lived 3 states away >met twice in 2 years >fast foward 2012 >attend college >tfw the college was in her state >city she lives in was barely an hour away from the capital where college is >i am able to move in with her (she was almost 2 years older) >the next 6 years of my life was perfect and everything i could ever ask for >we play vidya and watch anime al the time, her job isn't too overwhelming but pays well enough, i take various wage cuck jobs just so im not a neet >tfw she is often as horny as i am >2018 >never had any major argument about anything >we decide to marry >didn't want anything too crazy but her dad wanted it to be special >marriage is in the mountains >we get carried away for our wedding night in a wagon carried by a horse because of some tradition >i realize there are 2 other, weird looking people in the wagon >they're f------ tied >confused, look at wife >a blond man sitting where my wife was >"Finally awake!" >mfw Tod Howard did it again
>2008 >be 14 >play wow >meet someone who claims to be girl >didn't really believe but they were really funny so f--- it >played together for like 4 months, then she asked for skype >we started to talk alot >2 months later we agree for a skype cal >it actually was a woman >sperg out, get really nervous >she's nervous too 546.9 kB PNG >after few minutes of stuttering we start joking around >call ended up going for 5 hours >5 months of talking later >she confesses her love for me >i say i love her too >the most happiest moment of my life at the time >lived 3 states away >met twice in 2 years >fast foward 2012 >attend college >tfw the college was in her state >city she lives in was barely an hour away from the capital where college is >i am able to move in with her (she was almost 2 years older) >the next 6 years of my life was perfect and everything i could ever ask for >we play vidya and watch anime al the time, her job isn't too overwhelming but pays well enough, i take various wage cuck jobs just so im not a neet >tfw she is often as horny as i am >2018 >never had any major argument about anything >we decide to marry >didn't want anything too crazy but her dad wanted it to be special >marriage is in the mountains >we get carried away for our wedding night in a wagon carried by a horse because of some tradition >i realize there are 2 other, weird looking people in the wagon >they're f------ tied >confused, look at wife >a blond man sitting where my wife was >"Finally awake!" >mfw Tod Howard did it again

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Anon has a super power | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:48:17 No.860118574 >Be me >Have mega ant problem >They're resistant to black pepper 40 KB JPG >Bleach >Even liquid ant traps >One day I j------- in bathtub >Don't even clean it because l'm filth >Later I go back in bathroom and see ants have consumed almost all of my boy milk >Within the next couple days, almost all ants are gone >l've weaponized my man nectar
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:48:17 No.860118574 >Be me >Have mega ant problem >They're resistant to black pepper 40 KB JPG >Bleach >Even liquid ant traps >One day I j------- in bathtub >Don't even clean it because l'm filth >Later I go back in bathroom and see ants have consumed almost all of my boy milk >Within the next couple days, almost all ants are gone >l've weaponized my man nectar

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Anon likes Charlie Feathers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)23:00:11 No.86012971 >got into rockabilly a few years back >get reccomended Charlie Feathers by a friend >decide to look him up >h--------... >guy was a full blown based hillbilly >called blacks n------ and coloreds 85 KB JPG in a videotaped interview, immediately brushed it off >referred to women as females >probably a schizo, thought there was some secret organization preventing his songs from being well known (no s---, he actually believed this among other schizo beliefs) >Unironically named his son "Bubba" This guy would f------ love 4chan
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)23:00:11 No.86012971 >got into rockabilly a few years back >get reccomended Charlie Feathers by a friend >decide to look him up >h--------... >guy was a full blown based hillbilly >called blacks n------ and coloreds 85 KB JPG in a videotaped interview, immediately brushed it off >referred to women as females >probably a schizo, thought there was some secret organization preventing his songs from being well known (no s---, he actually believed this among other schizo beliefs) >Unironically named his son "Bubba" This guy would f------ love 4chan

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anon has autism | /r/Greentext

cringe thread? > be me > two weeks ago > in school library > watching attack on titan because why the f--- not 7 KB JPG > instincitvely sing badass aot theme > butcher it entirely but can't hear my voice over blaring theme in earphones > SAYTHESEXANDTHEHAYANDTHERAYGUN > breathe next part louder > НОО НАН НОО НАН НОО НАН НОО НАН > hear laughter from behind me > takes earphones off > looks behind me > groups of stacies there > they're laughing at me > slam laptop lid down, stuff it in bag and run the f--- outta there > machine at the exit rings alarm > librarian comes up to me and asks why I was trying to leave without borrowing books > F--- I forgot about the books in my bag > first priority was avoiding the shame > now there's more shame > stacies laugh harder > awkwardly hands over books to her and then sprint back out > mfw never watched anime in public again
cringe thread? > be me > two weeks ago > in school library > watching attack on titan because why the f--- not 7 KB JPG > instincitvely sing badass aot theme > butcher it entirely but can't hear my voice over blaring theme in earphones > SAYTHESEXANDTHEHAYANDTHERAYGUN > breathe next part louder > НОО НАН НОО НАН НОО НАН НОО НАН > hear laughter from behind me > takes earphones off > looks behind me > groups of stacies there > they're laughing at me > slam laptop lid down, stuff it in bag and run the f--- outta there > machine at the exit rings alarm > librarian comes up to me and asks why I was trying to leave without borrowing books > F--- I forgot about the books in my bag > first priority was avoiding the shame > now there's more shame > stacies laugh harder > awkwardly hands over books to her and then sprint back out > mfw never watched anime in public again

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Anon becomes sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)23:32:52 No.64802155 >be me >listening to japanese city pop playlist >"Stay With Me" by Miki Matsubara starts to play >jamming.png >get curious, wonder what she's been up 8 KB JPG to >google her name >*been dead since 2004* >overwhelming amount of sadness comes over me Why is this world so cruel?
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)23:32:52 No.64802155 >be me >listening to japanese city pop playlist >"Stay With Me" by Miki Matsubara starts to play >jamming.png >get curious, wonder what she's been up 8 KB JPG to >google her name >*been dead since 2004* >overwhelming amount of sadness comes over me Why is this world so cruel?

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Anon dates | /r/Greentext

File: MGSV-TPP-E3-2014-Screen-2(...).jpg (38 KB, 1024x576) Anonymous 09/20/15(Sun)12:24:32 No.34: >>34247747 >>34247855 >>34247867 >Be me >Finally fit after 2 years >get on tinder and post pics of my abs etc >say i'm 6'6" >bitches are loving it >fast forward two weeks >been out with 4 girls, meeting another that night >get to bar, she doesn't look like picture 6/10 >f--- it, it's easy tang >have a couple drinks and then I ask to go back to her place >she is really into it >get a cab and I finger her in the back >get back to her place in harlem >her f------ brother is on the couch >say "oh h-hey how are you doing man" >he looks up and grunts >notice he's playing MGSV >fuckingsweet.jpg >start talking with him about vidya while girl tries to drag me into her room >mfw I spent $120 on drinks and cab fare to play vidya with the girl's brother for 4 hours Got his number, should I text him today?
File: MGSV-TPP-E3-2014-Screen-2(...).jpg (38 KB, 1024x576) Anonymous 09/20/15(Sun)12:24:32 No.34: >>34247747 >>34247855 >>34247867 >Be me >Finally fit after 2 years >get on tinder and post pics of my abs etc >say i'm 6'6" >bitches are loving it >fast forward two weeks >been out with 4 girls, meeting another that night >get to bar, she doesn't look like picture 6/10 >f--- it, it's easy tang >have a couple drinks and then I ask to go back to her place >she is really into it >get a cab and I finger her in the back >get back to her place in harlem >her f------ brother is on the couch >say "oh h-hey how are you doing man" >he looks up and grunts >notice he's playing MGSV >fuckingsweet.jpg >start talking with him about vidya while girl tries to drag me into her room >mfw I spent $120 on drinks and cab fare to play vidya with the girl's brother for 4 hours Got his number, should I text him today?

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Anon giving directions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)10:14:58 No.64802911 >live in town for 10 years >random stranger asks me for obvious directions >freeze for a minute, start thinking really hard >start stuttering and tell him "haha... sorry i don't know, i don't 126 KB PNG live here" Anyone else have this retardation?
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)10:14:58 No.64802911 >live in town for 10 years >random stranger asks me for obvious directions >freeze for a minute, start thinking really hard >start stuttering and tell him "haha... sorry i don't know, i don't 126 KB PNG live here" Anyone else have this retardation?

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Anon makes himself cereal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)21:13:25 No.64800315 >Make bowl of chocolate cereal >Throw cereal in the trash >Drink bowl of chocolate milk 16 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)21:13:25 No.64800315 >Make bowl of chocolate cereal >Throw cereal in the trash >Drink bowl of chocolate milk 16 KB JPG

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Carpet bomb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)20:42:13 No.64799275 i usually only date guys but this is from the 1 gf i had >we are super stoned >she is naked >rolling and laughing on the floor like idiots while trying to do a puzzle >gf gets my attention >lifts her leg like she is going to fart >s---- on the carpet >get infuriated and scream at her for s------- on my carpet >why would she even fart like that with me thats so gross for a girl to do >she cried and cleans it up >make her shower WITH SOÁP so i can f--- her later kinda ruined the day
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)20:42:13 No.64799275 i usually only date guys but this is from the 1 gf i had >we are super stoned >she is naked >rolling and laughing on the floor like idiots while trying to do a puzzle >gf gets my attention >lifts her leg like she is going to fart >s---- on the carpet >get infuriated and scream at her for s------- on my carpet >why would she even fart like that with me thats so gross for a girl to do >she cried and cleans it up >make her shower WITH SOÁP so i can f--- her later kinda ruined the day

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Anon Winning Like Charlie Sheen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: V+cdTMB1) 11/11/14(Tue)05:49:31 No.578820617 File: Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at.)png (179 KB, 310x294) greentxt time > be me at age 8 > always hung out around woods by playground where i grew up > thought i was too cool for the playground > one day decide to "booby-trap" the playground's sandbox BA > dig 3' díameter hole to bottom of sand > gather epic trap supplies from woods > lay near perfectly-spaced grid of long, thin sticks on top of hole weave giant fern leaves on top of sticks > delicately cover with sand again > mymasterpiece.jpg > hang out on swing, waiting for victims > get impatient and go home > go to playground next day > group of mom's circling my now broken trap > one of their young has fallen in. victory is mine > hear them say "a child couldn't have done this" > "must have been some loser teenagers" > realize i'm a god damn evil genius at the age of 8 > mfw
Anonymous (ID: V+cdTMB1) 11/11/14(Tue)05:49:31 No.578820617 File: Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at.)png (179 KB, 310x294) greentxt time > be me at age 8 > always hung out around woods by playground where i grew up > thought i was too cool for the playground > one day decide to "booby-trap" the playground's sandbox BA > dig 3' díameter hole to bottom of sand > gather epic trap supplies from woods > lay near perfectly-spaced grid of long, thin sticks on top of hole weave giant fern leaves on top of sticks > delicately cover with sand again > mymasterpiece.jpg > hang out on swing, waiting for victims > get impatient and go home > go to playground next day > group of mom's circling my now broken trap > one of their young has fallen in. victory is mine > hear them say "a child couldn't have done this" > "must have been some loser teenagers" > realize i'm a god damn evil genius at the age of 8 > mfw

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Anon was horrified | /r/Greentext

>>859850279 # >be me, 5'3" manlet >manlet, but at least semi 1.32 MB JPG attractive >move to new state >at a bar after unpacking all my s--- >see this monster of a bitch >figure I have zero chance, being literally a foot shorter, but shoot my shot anyways >end up being really smooth, surprise myself >we drink a couple of drinks together >tell her I just moved to the area and probably gonna buy the house l'm renting next week >tells me she wishes she could buy a house >drink, chat more >pretty tipsy, boldly invite her back to my place >expecting a no >"Ja ;)" >ohshit.jpg >we get back to my place >she admires my rustic looking decor, says it reminds her of the farm she grew up on in Germany >me: "cool" >we chat and drink more >end up making out >her large, baseball mitt hands start fumbling with my belt >feel the size of her hands, afraid it's a dude who's about to turn my a------ into blood pudding >feel her t--- >they actually feel nice, not fake >take her shirt off >boobs are normal, no horrific scarring or misplaced n------ >starting to relax >she gets my pants off and starts blowing me >whatthatgermanmouthdo >everything's going awesome >until >she takes her pants off, along with underwear, sits on my d--- >snu snu commences >feels like a forklift just crushed my pelvis >she starts bouncing >most intense pain l've ever felt in my life >legs feel like they're about to break, pelvis is turned to shattered bones >holding back tears >"JA, JA, JAAAA!" >she then picks ME up >slams ME against a wall >essentially uses me and my erection like a dildo to f--- herself >force myself to c-- >"that was nett ;)" >l'm frozen in fear and pain >she eventually grabs her s--- and just leaves >have to phone my buddy to take me to the hospital >he laughs at me the entire time
>>859850279 # >be me, 5'3" manlet >manlet, but at least semi 1.32 MB JPG attractive >move to new state >at a bar after unpacking all my s--- >see this monster of a bitch >figure I have zero chance, being literally a foot shorter, but shoot my shot anyways >end up being really smooth, surprise myself >we drink a couple of drinks together >tell her I just moved to the area and probably gonna buy the house l'm renting next week >tells me she wishes she could buy a house >drink, chat more >pretty tipsy, boldly invite her back to my place >expecting a no >"Ja ;)" >ohshit.jpg >we get back to my place >she admires my rustic looking decor, says it reminds her of the farm she grew up on in Germany >me: "cool" >we chat and drink more >end up making out >her large, baseball mitt hands start fumbling with my belt >feel the size of her hands, afraid it's a dude who's about to turn my a------ into blood pudding >feel her t--- >they actually feel nice, not fake >take her shirt off >boobs are normal, no horrific scarring or misplaced n------ >starting to relax >she gets my pants off and starts blowing me >whatthatgermanmouthdo >everything's going awesome >until >she takes her pants off, along with underwear, sits on my d--- >snu snu commences >feels like a forklift just crushed my pelvis >she starts bouncing >most intense pain l've ever felt in my life >legs feel like they're about to break, pelvis is turned to shattered bones >holding back tears >"JA, JA, JAAAA!" >she then picks ME up >slams ME against a wall >essentially uses me and my erection like a dildo to f--- herself >force myself to c-- >"that was nett ;)" >l'm frozen in fear and pain >she eventually grabs her s--- and just leaves >have to phone my buddy to take me to the hospital >he laughs at me the entire time

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