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Anon is savage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)13:45:14 No.860178320 >Be me >University f-- >Have to write my master thesis >Because of the rona we aren't allowed to go inside the library >we have to reserve a book online 49 KB JPG and they hand it out to us in front of the library >system is retarded and broken, because if you reserve a taken book it has to be returned immediately by the person who has it >need a book which is available 14 times, 13 are untaken and one is taken >reserve the taken one Bring me my book f-----
: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)13:45:14 No.860178320 >Be me >University f-- >Have to write my master thesis >Because of the rona we aren't allowed to go inside the library >we have to reserve a book online 49 KB JPG and they hand it out to us in front of the library >system is retarded and broken, because if you reserve a taken book it has to be returned immediately by the person who has it >need a book which is available 14 times, 13 are untaken and one is taken >reserve the taken one Bring me my book f-----

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Falkreath guard | /r/Greentext

File: Untitled.jpg (409 KB, 880x555) Anonymous 07/17/14(Thu)22:02:31 No.253681678 > Be me > Be Falkreath Guard > New guy visits town > Suddenly a dragon attacks > Everyone in town starts attacking it > Even the new guy > New guy starts shooting a fire spell out of his hands > I walk in front of him > He hits me with his flames > ohnoyoudidnt.gif > Stop worrying about the dragon > The new guy is clearly the main threat > Everyone starts attacking the new guy > He's trying to fight both the dragon and everyone else > He's can't take us all > He finally dies > People start celebrating > Dragon kills us all > Worth it
File: Untitled.jpg (409 KB, 880x555) Anonymous 07/17/14(Thu)22:02:31 No.253681678 > Be me > Be Falkreath Guard > New guy visits town > Suddenly a dragon attacks > Everyone in town starts attacking it > Even the new guy > New guy starts shooting a fire spell out of his hands > I walk in front of him > He hits me with his flames > ohnoyoudidnt.gif > Stop worrying about the dragon > The new guy is clearly the main threat > Everyone starts attacking the new guy > He's trying to fight both the dragon and everyone else > He's can't take us all > He finally dies > People start celebrating > Dragon kills us all > Worth it

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Anon met someone interesting. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)12:23:48 No.64448454 >walk into first day of class >sit down next to some Chinese dude >sits there typing away on messenger on his laptop or whatever, typing in Chinese 25 KB JPG >suddenly turns and asks me and the other guys at the table what we think of our country's "aggressive" stance on the Chinese government, in stilted broken English >"haha I don't know I haven't really been paying attention haha" >nods >goes back to typing in Chinese >spends the whole class typing and not paying attention or contributing >doesn't show up to any future lessons Gee golly, I wonder what he could have been up to.
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)12:23:48 No.64448454 >walk into first day of class >sit down next to some Chinese dude >sits there typing away on messenger on his laptop or whatever, typing in Chinese 25 KB JPG >suddenly turns and asks me and the other guys at the table what we think of our country's "aggressive" stance on the Chinese government, in stilted broken English >"haha I don't know I haven't really been paying attention haha" >nods >goes back to typing in Chinese >spends the whole class typing and not paying attention or contributing >doesn't show up to any future lessons Gee golly, I wonder what he could have been up to.

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Anon has a dangerous job | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)18:50:48 No.848679285 >Be me >Poor af >Have wife and 2 children >Wife is sick >No money to get my children education >Have trouble finding jobs >Get dangerous job with a high chance if injury or death 58 KB JPG >Pays well so why not >ffw 1 week >Start operating machine >Get caught inside machine >Struggle for a bit >Machine activates and violently murders me >Limbs flying, blood everywhere >Horribly mangled and mutilated >Security footage gets released >Some redditfag records footage and puts some song over it for internet points >mfw
| Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)18:50:48 No.848679285 >Be me >Poor af >Have wife and 2 children >Wife is sick >No money to get my children education >Have trouble finding jobs >Get dangerous job with a high chance if injury or death 58 KB JPG >Pays well so why not >ffw 1 week >Start operating machine >Get caught inside machine >Struggle for a bit >Machine activates and violently murders me >Limbs flying, blood everywhere >Horribly mangled and mutilated >Security footage gets released >Some redditfag records footage and puts some song over it for internet points >mfw

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Anon drops real blackpills. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)02:10:27 No.64802463 Here are some real blackpills >The only person in your way is you >Women are just people with estrogen >Men are just people with testosterone >Chad doesn't exist >confidence is all an act 93 KB JPG >You won't be happier if you date someone. You'll be just as miserable as before except you'll have dragged someone else into it >The sooner you get off this board, the better >The only thing you have is your loyalty towards people and yourself >You're no better than the women you talk s--- about all day >Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself I don't miss
Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)02:10:27 No.64802463 Here are some real blackpills >The only person in your way is you >Women are just people with estrogen >Men are just people with testosterone >Chad doesn't exist >confidence is all an act 93 KB JPG >You won't be happier if you date someone. You'll be just as miserable as before except you'll have dragged someone else into it >The sooner you get off this board, the better >The only thing you have is your loyalty towards people and yourself >You're no better than the women you talk s--- about all day >Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself I don't miss

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Spread shot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Girlfriend stories 08/01/21(Sun)18:58:38 No.64798029 >taking a nap in middle of day >wake up >girlfriend is watching xqc at low volume in next room so as not to wake me >pull down pants, spread bare butt cheeks >unleash loud as fart 67 KB JPG >she screams from being startled >yells "I HATE YOU" and turns xqc up to full volume
: Anonymous Girlfriend stories 08/01/21(Sun)18:58:38 No.64798029 >taking a nap in middle of day >wake up >girlfriend is watching xqc at low volume in next room so as not to wake me >pull down pants, spread bare butt cheeks >unleash loud as fart 67 KB JPG >she screams from being startled >yells "I HATE YOU" and turns xqc up to full volume

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Anon saves that new kid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)08:50:10 No.748638248 ITT Attempted suicide stories Me first >New kid in school keeps giving me weird looks 64 KB JPG >Every math class he sits behind me, every time I look around he's staring at me >Very annoying, he seems to think he can become my friend just by looking at me >Eating in the lunch hall one day when he walks up behind me and "accidentally" knocks his tray, spills a bit of food on me but most of it on himself and the floor >Reallynigga.mp3 >Go get some napkins and paper towels to clean this mess up >Only guy in the lunch hall helping this new guy, everyone else is just watching >New guy gets the idea that we're now friends >New guy thinks that his plan of staring/spilling food on me worked >Asks me if I want to come round to his place after school and play some vidya (he actually uses the word 'vidya', this guy is seriously on the spectrum) >God help me >l say I can't because I'm busy with homework, study, stuff like that >"Vidya! Vidya! Vidya" he keeps shouting, "Let's play some vidya!" >Everyone in the lunch hall is looking at us now >Yell at him to "Shut the F--- up", push him onto the floor >Over the loudspeaker the fire alarm starts going off, everyone gets up to start evacuating, teachers saying it's just a drill >Up jumps the new kid and sprints toward the stairwell, up the stairs in the opposite direction of the exit >Upstairs is just the rooftop, think to myself that this kid's going to hurl himself off because of what I did to him >Push my way through the crowd of evacuating kids, get upstairs, get to the rooftop, see the standing on the edge shouting "I'm gonna jump, I'm gonna f------ jump!" I won't tell you what I said to the him to get him to come down from there, that'll stay between me and him forever. But l'll never forget what he said to me ten years later after he'd gotten through therapy, graduated top of his class and gotten engaged: "That day on the roof of the school, anon, I could never have come down if I hadn't've read the first letter of each line"
Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)08:50:10 No.748638248 ITT Attempted suicide stories Me first >New kid in school keeps giving me weird looks 64 KB JPG >Every math class he sits behind me, every time I look around he's staring at me >Very annoying, he seems to think he can become my friend just by looking at me >Eating in the lunch hall one day when he walks up behind me and "accidentally" knocks his tray, spills a bit of food on me but most of it on himself and the floor >Reallynigga.mp3 >Go get some napkins and paper towels to clean this mess up >Only guy in the lunch hall helping this new guy, everyone else is just watching >New guy gets the idea that we're now friends >New guy thinks that his plan of staring/spilling food on me worked >Asks me if I want to come round to his place after school and play some vidya (he actually uses the word 'vidya', this guy is seriously on the spectrum) >God help me >l say I can't because I'm busy with homework, study, stuff like that >"Vidya! Vidya! Vidya" he keeps shouting, "Let's play some vidya!" >Everyone in the lunch hall is looking at us now >Yell at him to "Shut the F--- up", push him onto the floor >Over the loudspeaker the fire alarm starts going off, everyone gets up to start evacuating, teachers saying it's just a drill >Up jumps the new kid and sprints toward the stairwell, up the stairs in the opposite direction of the exit >Upstairs is just the rooftop, think to myself that this kid's going to hurl himself off because of what I did to him >Push my way through the crowd of evacuating kids, get upstairs, get to the rooftop, see the standing on the edge shouting "I'm gonna jump, I'm gonna f------ jump!" I won't tell you what I said to the him to get him to come down from there, that'll stay between me and him forever. But l'll never forget what he said to me ten years later after he'd gotten through therapy, graduated top of his class and gotten engaged: "That day on the roof of the school, anon, I could never have come down if I hadn't've read the first letter of each line"

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Fell in love once and almost completely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)01:39:05 No.860088400 >Be a dumb teenager >Fall in love with a girl >Be a really good and loving boyfriend >She cheats on me several times >Never speak to her again >Can no longer love >Have gone through multiple women since treating them like f--- toys and tossing them out 48 KB JPG when I'm bored Is this how it'll always be?
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)01:39:05 No.860088400 >Be a dumb teenager >Fall in love with a girl >Be a really good and loving boyfriend >She cheats on me several times >Never speak to her again >Can no longer love >Have gone through multiple women since treating them like f--- toys and tossing them out 48 KB JPG when I'm bored Is this how it'll always be?

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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

047941| >follow my highschool bully >leaves his home at 7am >drops off his kid at a daycare then heads to a garage, gets in his car and drives to his job What's the best way to get my revenge? I've been collecting battery acid in a bottle and considering dumping it on his sons face, this way he will understand how awful it is for a kid to grow up ugly and ostracized. It's not a bad idea, he won't run after me with a wounded kid in his arms, and he definitely wont leave him behind to chase me either. But what's 365 KB PNG the best delivery method? The smell is awful, as soon as I open the bottle he will notice the smell and turn around... maybe some kind of fragile flask that I can just throw at him? Any ideas? 21 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)13:26:26 No.64794483 >>64794110 Why hurt an innocent kid though? At least dump it on the dude who actually harmed you.
047941| >follow my highschool bully >leaves his home at 7am >drops off his kid at a daycare then heads to a garage, gets in his car and drives to his job What's the best way to get my revenge? I've been collecting battery acid in a bottle and considering dumping it on his sons face, this way he will understand how awful it is for a kid to grow up ugly and ostracized. It's not a bad idea, he won't run after me with a wounded kid in his arms, and he definitely wont leave him behind to chase me either. But what's 365 KB PNG the best delivery method? The smell is awful, as soon as I open the bottle he will notice the smell and turn around... maybe some kind of fragile flask that I can just throw at him? Any ideas? 21 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)13:26:26 No.64794483 >>64794110 Why hurt an innocent kid though? At least dump it on the dude who actually harmed you.

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Anon pimps | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)12:52:04 No.860168561 >be me >9yo >shopping at Toys R Us >pick out some Barbie dolls >go to checkout >clerk smiles and asks "oh, are you 186 KB PNG shopping for your sister or cousin?" >"nope, for me" >"aren't those toys a little girly for you?" >"I need some w----- for my GI Joes"
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)12:52:04 No.860168561 >be me >9yo >shopping at Toys R Us >pick out some Barbie dolls >go to checkout >clerk smiles and asks "oh, are you 186 KB PNG shopping for your sister or cousin?" >"nope, for me" >"aren't those toys a little girly for you?" >"I need some w----- for my GI Joes"

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Anon is a bad at tf2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)08:31:50 No.860104881 >my strategy is perfectly valid and if you don't like it you just suck at the game! >I know I play the most skilless character but you're the one who's bad! >w+m1ing is valid! >stop calling me a c--- for killing friendlys! 13 KB JPG H-------- I hate pyro mains
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)08:31:50 No.860104881 >my strategy is perfectly valid and if you don't like it you just suck at the game! >I know I play the most skilless character but you're the one who's bad! >w+m1ing is valid! >stop calling me a c--- for killing friendlys! 13 KB JPG H-------- I hate pyro mains

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anon doesn't like brushing | /r/Greentext

9m (8/2 0:27) ·860135239 4 Re · 0 Img · PNG 249KB · (521 × 534) 2 Replies I SCIENCE >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR SAUCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR TEETH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T 7m (8/2 0:29)· 860135375 good luck getting kissed •..
9m (8/2 0:27) ·860135239 4 Re · 0 Img · PNG 249KB · (521 × 534) 2 Replies I SCIENCE >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR SAUCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR TEETH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T 7m (8/2 0:29)· 860135375 good luck getting kissed •..

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Anon has good memories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)21:33:18 No.860114593 GWEENTEXT >walking through city >hungry >notice diner >go in >good food >hot waitress 285 KB PNG >good view from the windows >remember me and my dad used to go to a place like this every weekend nostalgia.jpg Today was a good day anons. Check the place out: bluewaffle.net
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)21:33:18 No.860114593 GWEENTEXT >walking through city >hungry >notice diner >go in >good food >hot waitress 285 KB PNG >good view from the windows >remember me and my dad used to go to a place like this every weekend nostalgia.jpg Today was a good day anons. Check the place out: bluewaffle.net

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Anon Goes Tendie Hunting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:26:02 No.860115618 >>860113881 # >Be me >Recently captured sex slave >Bound to bed looking up at qt3.14s >They laugh at my manly 2 inch d--- 188 KB PNG >lhavetwonewmommies.jpg >Demand brekkie tendies immediately >They laugh harder >Blonde demands to be eaten out >Reeeeee! >That kind of love is for my waifu doll only! >Break free with tard strength >They scream >Brunette grabs a violet wand >Blonde grabs a weird, black spatula thing >Starts wacking me with it but it no work due to fat beautiful body >Grab her and tear through her flesh with teeth >Get zapped from behind >Ohnoyoudidn't >Reach around and pick her up like a ragdoll >Throw her out the window and down into the streets >Good riddence >Find freezer >MFW they have tendies >>860115819 #
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:26:02 No.860115618 >>860113881 # >Be me >Recently captured sex slave >Bound to bed looking up at qt3.14s >They laugh at my manly 2 inch d--- 188 KB PNG >lhavetwonewmommies.jpg >Demand brekkie tendies immediately >They laugh harder >Blonde demands to be eaten out >Reeeeee! >That kind of love is for my waifu doll only! >Break free with tard strength >They scream >Brunette grabs a violet wand >Blonde grabs a weird, black spatula thing >Starts wacking me with it but it no work due to fat beautiful body >Grab her and tear through her flesh with teeth >Get zapped from behind >Ohnoyoudidn't >Reach around and pick her up like a ragdoll >Throw her out the window and down into the streets >Good riddence >Find freezer >MFW they have tendies >>860115819 #

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Venting his frustrations | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)17:43:45 No.64797261 >riding my bike along a bike trail near my house late at night. >come across an actual rave underneath a bridge like in that one video >bike back home to grab my 3M half face respirator (pic related) and then bike back to the rave 3M 174 KB PNG >put on the 3M half face respirator (pic related) and start flailing my arms like in the video >s---- retarded as f--- >get approached by a hot as f--- goth chick, shes f------ digging my style >starts grinding up on me >she starts leaning in real close >go to kiss her >forget that I am wearing my 3M half face respirator (pic related) >hit her in the face with the exhalation vent >she leaves >bike home f------ w---- 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)17:43:45 No.64797261 >riding my bike along a bike trail near my house late at night. >come across an actual rave underneath a bridge like in that one video >bike back home to grab my 3M half face respirator (pic related) and then bike back to the rave 3M 174 KB PNG >put on the 3M half face respirator (pic related) and start flailing my arms like in the video >s---- retarded as f--- >get approached by a hot as f--- goth chick, shes f------ digging my style >starts grinding up on me >she starts leaning in real close >go to kiss her >forget that I am wearing my 3M half face respirator (pic related) >hit her in the face with the exhalation vent >she leaves >bike home f------ w---- 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon Never Forgives | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 07/29/18(Sun)22:15:30 No.19837515 >virginity was always important to me >Dated a "Christian" girl from college for 7 years. She told me she was a "People who boset about their 12 are losers." -Stepian lian virgin. >l'm now 27, she's 26 6 KB JPG >We've been talking about marraige. I recently bought a $2500 ring >My best friend tells me he found something concerning >He shows me a home made video on p--- hub with a woman who's clearly her >Thank God it was uploaded a year before we met at least >Confront her >She bursts into tears and admits it's her in it >Give her 24 hours to get her s--- out of my house
:Anonymous 07/29/18(Sun)22:15:30 No.19837515 >virginity was always important to me >Dated a "Christian" girl from college for 7 years. She told me she was a "People who boset about their 12 are losers." -Stepian lian virgin. >l'm now 27, she's 26 6 KB JPG >We've been talking about marraige. I recently bought a $2500 ring >My best friend tells me he found something concerning >He shows me a home made video on p--- hub with a woman who's clearly her >Thank God it was uploaded a year before we met at least >Confront her >She bursts into tears and admits it's her in it >Give her 24 hours to get her s--- out of my house

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anon gets called the N word | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)03:42:58 No.860148452 >did something really stupid >parents found out >dad called me a stupid n----- >tfw he is black too
Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)03:42:58 No.860148452 >did something really stupid >parents found out >dad called me a stupid n----- >tfw he is black too

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Anon plays D&D | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/20(Tue)18:22:01 No.75043434 >playing d&d >session 0 >characters being introduced to each other >tell dm I roll to r--- and kill everyone >they refuse 50 KB JPG f------ railroading am i right
: Anonymous 09/22/20(Tue)18:22:01 No.75043434 >playing d&d >session 0 >characters being introduced to each other >tell dm I roll to r--- and kill everyone >they refuse 50 KB JPG f------ railroading am i right

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Anon works at a suicide preventation line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)06:39:13 No.771942963 Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: >Be me, just getting off call with a 25 KB JPG girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >l'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >l ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.communism >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had. if 132 Replies / 28 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)06:39:13 No.771942963 Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: >Be me, just getting off call with a 25 KB JPG girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >l'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >l ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.communism >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had. if 132 Replies / 28 Images View Thread

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)09:29:25 No.775216986 >be me >recently broke up with gf LAM >feel sad af >try online dating >meet this girl online 435 KB PNG >we instantly connect >ask her on a date >date a few times, kisses n stuff >one day after going out for dinner she asks me to come at her place for coffee >gonnahavesex.jpg| >she tells me she's into bondage >accept, not really my thing but I guess I can try >tells me to close my eyes >i d >feel her tying my hands >places a blindfold on my head >bed begins to shake and creak >w--.jpg >feel a cold breeze hit my face >i can smell a strong scent of pinewoods >remove the blindfold from my eyes >mfw i'm about to be sentenced to death with other prisoners >mfw i turn around and see todd howard running away while removing his fake wig >mfw i'm now in skyrim
: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)09:29:25 No.775216986 >be me >recently broke up with gf LAM >feel sad af >try online dating >meet this girl online 435 KB PNG >we instantly connect >ask her on a date >date a few times, kisses n stuff >one day after going out for dinner she asks me to come at her place for coffee >gonnahavesex.jpg| >she tells me she's into bondage >accept, not really my thing but I guess I can try >tells me to close my eyes >i d >feel her tying my hands >places a blindfold on my head >bed begins to shake and creak >w--.jpg >feel a cold breeze hit my face >i can smell a strong scent of pinewoods >remove the blindfold from my eyes >mfw i'm about to be sentenced to death with other prisoners >mfw i turn around and see todd howard running away while removing his fake wig >mfw i'm now in skyrim

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