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Message In a Bottle of Maple Syrup. | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: ii0cdlsf)! F--- Canada. ▼Settings Mobile Home 01/28/25(Tue)16:38:15 No.495712758 118 KB PNG Apologize for being Canadian immediately Anonymous (ID: LDyl/sTN) [+] F--- you. 01/28/25(Tue)16:40:46 No.495712994
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: ii0cdlsf)! F--- Canada. ▼Settings Mobile Home 01/28/25(Tue)16:38:15 No.495712758 118 KB PNG Apologize for being Canadian immediately Anonymous (ID: LDyl/sTN) [+] F--- you. 01/28/25(Tue)16:40:46 No.495712994

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Lucky Loser | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 01/28/25(Tue)16:26:10 No.80199660 >Be me 494 KB PNG >Wearing a suit due to work >Fancy suit shoes have literally no grip on smooth surfaces >Go to super market >Almost slip and fall in front of an stocker in the cheese aisle. >See the floor >It was squished strawberry >Employee apologises for almost letting me crack my skull on the floor >I didn't because of my reflexes ;) >FFW to in the car >Realise that I could've won a lawsuit if actually slipped and cracked my skull open. Guys, always wear dress shoes to the supermarket. You can win a lawsuit when you slip because that's how you get rich in the 21st century.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 01/28/25(Tue)16:26:10 No.80199660 >Be me 494 KB PNG >Wearing a suit due to work >Fancy suit shoes have literally no grip on smooth surfaces >Go to super market >Almost slip and fall in front of an stocker in the cheese aisle. >See the floor >It was squished strawberry >Employee apologises for almost letting me crack my skull on the floor >I didn't because of my reflexes ;) >FFW to in the car >Realise that I could've won a lawsuit if actually slipped and cracked my skull open. Guys, always wear dress shoes to the supermarket. You can win a lawsuit when you slip because that's how you get rich in the 21st century.

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Anon's Obsession | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F--- MY LIFE 879 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon)04:44:50 No.80184509 >have been compulsively washing my hands for years without much trouble (in a strict ritualized pattern, usually 7-8 times a day) >in recent months the urge to clean my hands has become increasingly common, and when i do wash them i force myself to start over if i mess up the pattern >cold as f--- outside lately >bad combo results in my hands drying up and sometimes bleeding at points where the skin flexes while using my hands >at first it's not too rough, annoying but fine >this morning i f----- up >small cuts all over my fingers, literally hurts to open a door >realize i have a box of gloves my sister gave me (she's a nurse) >wash my hands one final time before putting some on >even with just soap and water it stings like a m-----------, like 50 fire ant stings at once >finally get the damn gloves on >will probably have to wear these for a week >completely miserable IM A F------ RETARD AGGHHHHHH
Anonymous F--- MY LIFE 879 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon)04:44:50 No.80184509 >have been compulsively washing my hands for years without much trouble (in a strict ritualized pattern, usually 7-8 times a day) >in recent months the urge to clean my hands has become increasingly common, and when i do wash them i force myself to start over if i mess up the pattern >cold as f--- outside lately >bad combo results in my hands drying up and sometimes bleeding at points where the skin flexes while using my hands >at first it's not too rough, annoying but fine >this morning i f----- up >small cuts all over my fingers, literally hurts to open a door >realize i have a box of gloves my sister gave me (she's a nurse) >wash my hands one final time before putting some on >even with just soap and water it stings like a m-----------, like 50 fire ant stings at once >finally get the damn gloves on >will probably have to wear these for a week >completely miserable IM A F------ RETARD AGGHHHHHH

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What would you do in Anon's situation? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)22:50:27 No.80197536 What do you do if you're black and constantly see posts about how your race is the worst? I don't commit crimes but I will always be held responsible because of how I was born and I don't like it. 668 KB PNG Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)22:57:14 No.80197595 >>80197536 (OP) # >What do you do if you're black When I'm black I smoke weed >>80197686 # : Anonymous >>80197650 # : Anonymous : Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)22:58:03 No.80197603 01/28/25(Tue)23:02:43 No.80197650 01/28/25 (Tue)23:02:58 No.80197652 >Im a good n----- trust me do you have any plans to return to Africa? >>80197671 #
Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)22:50:27 No.80197536 What do you do if you're black and constantly see posts about how your race is the worst? I don't commit crimes but I will always be held responsible because of how I was born and I don't like it. 668 KB PNG Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)22:57:14 No.80197595 >>80197536 (OP) # >What do you do if you're black When I'm black I smoke weed >>80197686 # : Anonymous >>80197650 # : Anonymous : Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)22:58:03 No.80197603 01/28/25(Tue)23:02:43 No.80197650 01/28/25 (Tue)23:02:58 No.80197652 >Im a good n----- trust me do you have any plans to return to Africa? >>80197671 #

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Anons mom is complicated. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)06:05:19 No.122719443 19423857235643qtr.jpg 22 KB JPG >>122718884 (OP) # >Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting you a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture -- she one took a full-sized, adult woman s--- in my Dockers. Your mother is one f------up slut, Mark. And I love her, but I'm not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just don't know if I'm strong enough to f--- it all away.
Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)06:05:19 No.122719443 19423857235643qtr.jpg 22 KB JPG >>122718884 (OP) # >Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting you a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture -- she one took a full-sized, adult woman s--- in my Dockers. Your mother is one f------up slut, Mark. And I love her, but I'm not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just don't know if I'm strong enough to f--- it all away.

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Roach king is unstoppable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TIM 48 KB JPG : Anonymous >>80184959 (OP) # 01/27/25(Mon)17:50:37 No.80184959 >"I'll never get a gf, I live with my parents and play videogames and live in filth" >Didn't become a millionaire streamer. guess you f----- up 01/27/25(Mon) 17:52:09 No.80184970 Even as a millionaire he's still a loser >>80184980 # >>80186169 # : Anonymous 81 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon) 17:53:20 No.80184980 >>80184970 # >Even as a millionaire he's still a loser And girls come into his room in cosplay.
: Anonymous TIM 48 KB JPG : Anonymous >>80184959 (OP) # 01/27/25(Mon)17:50:37 No.80184959 >"I'll never get a gf, I live with my parents and play videogames and live in filth" >Didn't become a millionaire streamer. guess you f----- up 01/27/25(Mon) 17:52:09 No.80184970 Even as a millionaire he's still a loser >>80184980 # >>80186169 # : Anonymous 81 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon) 17:53:20 No.80184980 >>80184970 # >Even as a millionaire he's still a loser And girls come into his room in cosplay.

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Love these type of fanfics | /r/Greentext

My town is run by a tribe of homeless people Anonymous (ID: 9615mNla) 09/06/20(Sun)09:44:55 No.276224173 I'm not kidding. there's a feral family that has been homeless here since the Civil War (them and there offspring all chose to be homeless), and they have hundreds of offspring who collectively managed to get each other jobs at the municipal bureaucracy. And apparently 20% of the taxpayer money here is being funneled directly towards their "Elder", an 108 old blind, illiterate man who lives in the sewers. If you complain about this in public, they will find out and make you disappear. So most people go on about their lives. How do I fix this?
My town is run by a tribe of homeless people Anonymous (ID: 9615mNla) 09/06/20(Sun)09:44:55 No.276224173 I'm not kidding. there's a feral family that has been homeless here since the Civil War (them and there offspring all chose to be homeless), and they have hundreds of offspring who collectively managed to get each other jobs at the municipal bureaucracy. And apparently 20% of the taxpayer money here is being funneled directly towards their "Elder", an 108 old blind, illiterate man who lives in the sewers. If you complain about this in public, they will find out and make you disappear. So most people go on about their lives. How do I fix this?

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Never gets old | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: FdfTRU+x 01/27/25(Mon)09:44:38 No.495568450 I have decided to become a millennial comic artist. My original characters are: QUIRK CHUNGUS MAN CHILD -lacks all personality and -fails to realize she has already become her mother BIG ED -some dogs are doggos, some are puppers -missed out on being a w---- quirk chungus.jpg 65 KB JPG will; this has, in AG turn, become his VARS entire personality -his own existence is okay with him somehow CHILD REPLACEMENT Remember when almost every amerimutt couple in 2018 was so doped up on goyslop that they looked like this?
Anonymous (ID: FdfTRU+x 01/27/25(Mon)09:44:38 No.495568450 I have decided to become a millennial comic artist. My original characters are: QUIRK CHUNGUS MAN CHILD -lacks all personality and -fails to realize she has already become her mother BIG ED -some dogs are doggos, some are puppers -missed out on being a w---- quirk chungus.jpg 65 KB JPG will; this has, in AG turn, become his VARS entire personality -his own existence is okay with him somehow CHILD REPLACEMENT Remember when almost every amerimutt couple in 2018 was so doped up on goyslop that they looked like this?

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Anon represents his country | /r/Greentext

File: frog_posting.jpg (96 KB, 900x900) Guess i like men now Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)13:05:39 No.80195789 >Be me >listen to audio book >its voiced by Stefan Kaminski >So its a man reading it >the way he voices the girls sounds really hot to me So thats it right, i'm gay now https://voca.ro/1jvDgbZsF02s s----- recording and its in german but what ever >> Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)13:15:51 No.80195834 ► >>80195789 (OP) most normal german fetish
File: frog_posting.jpg (96 KB, 900x900) Guess i like men now Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)13:05:39 No.80195789 >Be me >listen to audio book >its voiced by Stefan Kaminski >So its a man reading it >the way he voices the girls sounds really hot to me So thats it right, i'm gay now https://voca.ro/1jvDgbZsF02s s----- recording and its in german but what ever >> Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)13:15:51 No.80195834 ► >>80195789 (OP) most normal german fetish

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Anon opens up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BOG NEWS 48 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon)16:51:17 No.80188619 >Talk about my feelings and emotions for the first time in years >Expected my friend to tell me to f--- off >He actually listened Is he gay?
: Anonymous BOG NEWS 48 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon)16:51:17 No.80188619 >Talk about my feelings and emotions for the first time in years >Expected my friend to tell me to f--- off >He actually listened Is he gay?

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All hail our Lord, God and Saviour Hatsune Miku | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/03/23(Tue)19:37:53 No.74942969 >watch news >hatsune miku >go on youtube >hatsune miku >go on reddit >hatsune miku 2.04 MB PNG >go on 4chan >hatsune miku What kind of psyop even is this? Why are all the wealthiest and most powerful organisations in the world all working in unison to promote Hatsune f------ Miku?
Anonymous 10/03/23(Tue)19:37:53 No.74942969 >watch news >hatsune miku >go on youtube >hatsune miku >go on reddit >hatsune miku 2.04 MB PNG >go on 4chan >hatsune miku What kind of psyop even is this? Why are all the wealthiest and most powerful organisations in the world all working in unison to promote Hatsune f------ Miku?

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Gay AF Thrones | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 41 KB JPG >>24134608 # Anonymous >>24133392 # 01/24/25(Fri)02:33:39 No.24134069 Renly preferred to stick his c--- up Loras' hairy crusty aids infested butthole when he had beautiful virgin Margaery in his bed 01/24/25(Fri)04:34:58 No.24134172 house of maritime traders. most infamous member is Long John Silvers, who turned to piratry >>24133640 # an offshoot of Daynes perhaps a bastard line, they plot and await their eventual usurpation of Starfall, as bastards are treacherous by nature (t.Catelyn) Anonymous 01/24/25(Fri)05:01:45 No.24134184 >King Robert groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to s---. >GO FIND THE A------ STRETCHER 330 KB PNG >>24134337 # >>24136378 #
Anonymous 41 KB JPG >>24134608 # Anonymous >>24133392 # 01/24/25(Fri)02:33:39 No.24134069 Renly preferred to stick his c--- up Loras' hairy crusty aids infested butthole when he had beautiful virgin Margaery in his bed 01/24/25(Fri)04:34:58 No.24134172 house of maritime traders. most infamous member is Long John Silvers, who turned to piratry >>24133640 # an offshoot of Daynes perhaps a bastard line, they plot and await their eventual usurpation of Starfall, as bastards are treacherous by nature (t.Catelyn) Anonymous 01/24/25(Fri)05:01:45 No.24134184 >King Robert groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to s---. >GO FIND THE A------ STRETCHER 330 KB PNG >>24134337 # >>24136378 #

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Pocket monsters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/26/25(Sun)14:31:35 No.701285273 PokeMov file.png 1.78 MB PNG >largest media franchise of all time >entirely based around video games >not a single one of them is good How did they do it?
Anonymous 01/26/25(Sun)14:31:35 No.701285273 PokeMov file.png 1.78 MB PNG >largest media franchise of all time >entirely based around video games >not a single one of them is good How did they do it?

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Anon wants a safe space | /r/Greentext

*sex joke* ⑧ u/internet_purist THE P--- IS P--- THE P--- IS P--- THE P--- IS P--- ④ u/hilarity_enjoyer P--- u/cum_sucker 10^100 1 trillion p---------- Four (4) Anonymous 01/27/25(Mon) 15:50:02 No.930563437 >Open 4chan Biggest onlyfans t--- ad followed by 999999999999 p--- threads >Open Youtube ADS of a w---- spreading her vagina >Opens Reddit Ad for gooners and weebs about a f------ spider game ffs >Open Twitch Its just naked women in hottubs >Opens Instagram Algorithm pushing plastic sluts left and right >Open Twitter Everyone is promoting their p--- clips >Open Discord GC is filled with pedos and gooners >Open Facebook as a last resort Big pages getting hacked and they share breastfeedinv videos in the story section >Try and watch a movie It has the most useless 5 minutes sex scene Im tired, there is no helping us No fap bros keep fighting
*sex joke* ⑧ u/internet_purist THE P--- IS P--- THE P--- IS P--- THE P--- IS P--- ④ u/hilarity_enjoyer P--- u/cum_sucker 10^100 1 trillion p---------- Four (4) Anonymous 01/27/25(Mon) 15:50:02 No.930563437 >Open 4chan Biggest onlyfans t--- ad followed by 999999999999 p--- threads >Open Youtube ADS of a w---- spreading her vagina >Opens Reddit Ad for gooners and weebs about a f------ spider game ffs >Open Twitch Its just naked women in hottubs >Opens Instagram Algorithm pushing plastic sluts left and right >Open Twitter Everyone is promoting their p--- clips >Open Discord GC is filled with pedos and gooners >Open Facebook as a last resort Big pages getting hacked and they share breastfeedinv videos in the story section >Try and watch a movie It has the most useless 5 minutes sex scene Im tired, there is no helping us No fap bros keep fighting

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The tale of the fardballs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous how do i survive this is span Motan O 529 KB JPG >no greentexts 01/27/25(Mon)21:20:58 No.930562186 >be me >redditfag >be left economically but also racist >r/shitposting deletes any memes about anyone but whites >find r/Fardballsland >not every meme is a repost >actual humans post there >and finally memes about pajeets, asians, blacks and whites >freespeech.png >have a source for good memes, racist memes, good reaction images and like-minded people >sub gets banned for spreading hate >every replacement gets banned >see post about it getting banned >redditfags in the comments are racist against whites >none of them get banned or even deleted /b/tards what the f--- do i do? I cant use 4chin because either its just p--- or s----- conspiracy posts, no memes or real engangement. Twitter is a f------ fake news circlejerk and I am not using that. Is there any subreddit I can use without getting aids from those cucks?
Anonymous how do i survive this is span Motan O 529 KB JPG >no greentexts 01/27/25(Mon)21:20:58 No.930562186 >be me >redditfag >be left economically but also racist >r/shitposting deletes any memes about anyone but whites >find r/Fardballsland >not every meme is a repost >actual humans post there >and finally memes about pajeets, asians, blacks and whites >freespeech.png >have a source for good memes, racist memes, good reaction images and like-minded people >sub gets banned for spreading hate >every replacement gets banned >see post about it getting banned >redditfags in the comments are racist against whites >none of them get banned or even deleted /b/tards what the f--- do i do? I cant use 4chin because either its just p--- or s----- conspiracy posts, no memes or real engangement. Twitter is a f------ fake news circlejerk and I am not using that. Is there any subreddit I can use without getting aids from those cucks?

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Anon Needs Help | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon)04:03:40 No.80184246 >be me >at the bottom of the f------ barrel >to the point of researching suicide methods daily >i want to die but painlessly >wear everyone I know out by constantly bitching to them >try the therapy meme >do a ton of researching >find a psychological trauma specialized therapist >on guard at first >seems to go decently well >finally lay out everything wrong >anon, I don't know how to help you >i'm sorry but, you need someone more qualified than me >have you considered you may have been too open These f------ are charlatans and professional gaslighters. It isn't even worth it as a last ditch effort. I wish I f------ killed myself without trying these retards. All I got out of this was a C-PTSD diagnosis. Anonymous 01/27/25(Mon)04:10:45 No.80184294 Want me to kill you OP? We can even be friends for a little while first so you can have a good time and I'll make sure to kill you quick and painless, one second you'll be here and the next you'll be gone and you won't even realize it happened >>80184371 #
Anonymous 106 KB JPG 01/27/25(Mon)04:03:40 No.80184246 >be me >at the bottom of the f------ barrel >to the point of researching suicide methods daily >i want to die but painlessly >wear everyone I know out by constantly bitching to them >try the therapy meme >do a ton of researching >find a psychological trauma specialized therapist >on guard at first >seems to go decently well >finally lay out everything wrong >anon, I don't know how to help you >i'm sorry but, you need someone more qualified than me >have you considered you may have been too open These f------ are charlatans and professional gaslighters. It isn't even worth it as a last ditch effort. I wish I f------ killed myself without trying these retards. All I got out of this was a C-PTSD diagnosis. Anonymous 01/27/25(Mon)04:10:45 No.80184294 Want me to kill you OP? We can even be friends for a little while first so you can have a good time and I'll make sure to kill you quick and painless, one second you'll be here and the next you'll be gone and you won't even realize it happened >>80184371 #

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