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Anon can’t dance. | /r/Greentext

>at nightclub last night >dancing >start dancing with cute redhead girl >name is Emily >things are going well >I spun her around, all is 22 KB PNG good >she spins me around >l f--- up >l spun the wrong f------ way >that move broke our hand contact and she was no longer dancing with me >within seconds some bearded alpha c--- zooms in and has got her >he spins her then pulls her in so she's facing away and they grind >within moments they're making out on the dance floor This is by far the dumbest way I've ever lost the girl. How the f--- could I have spun the wrong f------ way.
>at nightclub last night >dancing >start dancing with cute redhead girl >name is Emily >things are going well >I spun her around, all is 22 KB PNG good >she spins me around >l f--- up >l spun the wrong f------ way >that move broke our hand contact and she was no longer dancing with me >within seconds some bearded alpha c--- zooms in and has got her >he spins her then pulls her in so she's facing away and they grind >within moments they're making out on the dance floor This is by far the dumbest way I've ever lost the girl. How the f--- could I have spun the wrong f------ way.

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Anon is based and dog-pilled | /r/Greentext

No.858299256 07/03/21(Sat)20:36:21 lain2.png PNG 346.2 KiB 593x512 >goes to a local store >sees a dog pooping on the floor >proceeds to step on the poop before the owner can clean it up 2 replies No.858300113 07/03/21(Sat)20:51:18 >>858299256 (OP) based
No.858299256 07/03/21(Sat)20:36:21 lain2.png PNG 346.2 KiB 593x512 >goes to a local store >sees a dog pooping on the floor >proceeds to step on the poop before the owner can clean it up 2 replies No.858300113 07/03/21(Sat)20:51:18 >>858299256 (OP) based

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Anon's has a serious mental illness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E I just spent $100 on onlyfans (...) 07/03/21(Sat)22:34:14 No.64423330 >mfw I realized it's just 30 second trailers of scenes you have to pay $15 for. >mfw it's just trailers that are already on redgifs >mfw most of the full videos are 90 KB JPG already on pornhub >mfw it's just clips4sale but you have to pay to see the trailers >mfw onlyfans is a scam >mfw cooming is a scam.. I even have a gf I could have been banging instead
: Anonymous E I just spent $100 on onlyfans (...) 07/03/21(Sat)22:34:14 No.64423330 >mfw I realized it's just 30 second trailers of scenes you have to pay $15 for. >mfw it's just trailers that are already on redgifs >mfw most of the full videos are 90 KB JPG already on pornhub >mfw it's just clips4sale but you have to pay to see the trailers >mfw onlyfans is a scam >mfw cooming is a scam.. I even have a gf I could have been banging instead

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Anon almost gets “mugged” | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: BlightDumping.jpg (997 KB, 2400x1596) Bad Neighborhood stories thread Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:59:20 No.64427819 Oh my god, a thread that isn't p---? Impossible. Catch-all for all the anons who live on the seedy-er sides of town and have experienced what makes them so seedy. Example from literally an hour ago below. >walking to store to get a pepsi/get some cardio in >walk down traintracks into the usual neighborhood i walk through >like 6 people standing on this porch stare at me as i walk past >lady across the street goes "hey come talk to me! cmon you dont want to talk to me?" >pants_shat.jpg >say i have a job interview to be at at the Circle K down the street (friends of mine work there and can vouch for me) >walk faster >porch f------ start following me >idea.jpg >pull out phone and look at the time >say aloud "s--- it's almost 5:30" and break out into a jog >they jog after me >i hear "yeah you better run little f-----" >passive_restraints.mp3 >run at full sprint >eventually outrun them because i'm not sagging my pants like a f------ tool >their dogs are still after me >f------ BOLT to the Handee Hugos where someone I know works >duck inside >grab pepsi >unshit pants >get a ride home
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: BlightDumping.jpg (997 KB, 2400x1596) Bad Neighborhood stories thread Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:59:20 No.64427819 Oh my god, a thread that isn't p---? Impossible. Catch-all for all the anons who live on the seedy-er sides of town and have experienced what makes them so seedy. Example from literally an hour ago below. >walking to store to get a pepsi/get some cardio in >walk down traintracks into the usual neighborhood i walk through >like 6 people standing on this porch stare at me as i walk past >lady across the street goes "hey come talk to me! cmon you dont want to talk to me?" >pants_shat.jpg >say i have a job interview to be at at the Circle K down the street (friends of mine work there and can vouch for me) >walk faster >porch f------ start following me >idea.jpg >pull out phone and look at the time >say aloud "s--- it's almost 5:30" and break out into a jog >they jog after me >i hear "yeah you better run little f-----" >passive_restraints.mp3 >run at full sprint >eventually outrun them because i'm not sagging my pants like a f------ tool >their dogs are still after me >f------ BOLT to the Handee Hugos where someone I know works >duck inside >grab pepsi >unshit pants >get a ride home

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Anon gets a present | /r/Greentext

>>147909867 # this image made me relive the most cringe moment of my life. >4 years ago in highschool, its my birthday >day is going smoothly and im excited to go home >girl that i was friendly with (we talked inbetween classes and s--- but i didnt hang out with her much) comes up to me with a present >didnt expect it from her so i start spilling spaghetti >"happy birthday anon!" >"y-you too" >laugh nervously and power walk out of the class like an autist >get to the school exit and my friends are talking in front of it >people used to joke i was in love with that girl so i was scared they would see the present in my hand and start joking >panic spergout and throw the present in the trash as im leaving >realize i couldve just put it in my bag or something but now its too late >look back as im leaving the school >mfw the girl saw me trashing it >get on my bike and speed away while crying >never talk to her again >>147911496 # >>147911613 #
>>147909867 # this image made me relive the most cringe moment of my life. >4 years ago in highschool, its my birthday >day is going smoothly and im excited to go home >girl that i was friendly with (we talked inbetween classes and s--- but i didnt hang out with her much) comes up to me with a present >didnt expect it from her so i start spilling spaghetti >"happy birthday anon!" >"y-you too" >laugh nervously and power walk out of the class like an autist >get to the school exit and my friends are talking in front of it >people used to joke i was in love with that girl so i was scared they would see the present in my hand and start joking >panic spergout and throw the present in the trash as im leaving >realize i couldve just put it in my bag or something but now its too late >look back as im leaving the school >mfw the girl saw me trashing it >get on my bike and speed away while crying >never talk to her again >>147911496 # >>147911613 #

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Anon likes to work out | /r/Greentext

File: 42E77141-AB8B-439C-B921-4(...).png (128 KB, 295x302) O Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)16:15:18 No.858290278 [Reply] >>858290640 >be me >muscles hurt from gym >use heat balm to massage muscles >sleep >wake up 2 hours later >horny >j------- >feels good man >d--- begins to tingle >d--- begins to burn I am in a lot of pain /b/ros! What do? Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)16:21:42 No.858290640 >>858290278 (OP). Cut it off! Hurry!
File: 42E77141-AB8B-439C-B921-4(...).png (128 KB, 295x302) O Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)16:15:18 No.858290278 [Reply] >>858290640 >be me >muscles hurt from gym >use heat balm to massage muscles >sleep >wake up 2 hours later >horny >j------- >feels good man >d--- begins to tingle >d--- begins to burn I am in a lot of pain /b/ros! What do? Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)16:21:42 No.858290640 >>858290278 (OP). Cut it off! Hurry!

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Anon gets rid of ants | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/30/17(Sun)08:34:29 No.41255492 >>41261284 >>41261666 >>41261860 >>41262156 >>41262192 >>41255512 >>41255561 >house infested with ants >they infest my $60 protein powder >pay exterminator $250 to remove them last August >mfw the're f------ back MY SHAAAAAAAAKKKEEEEESSSSSSS O Anonymous 04/30/17(Sun)08:35:40 No.41255512 File: 1450387293096s.jpg (3 KB, 96x125) YA BLEW IT >>41255492 (OP) >get folic acid infused whey powder >protein content of whey goes up for free >complain about it never gonna make it f----- Anonymous 04/30/17(Sun)08:46:21 No.41255632 >>41257885 >>41258578 >>41261135 >>41261239 >>41261357 >>41255492 (OP) I used my superior intellect to destroy these unintelligent drones >slip some honey into my a------ during the night >feel an ant investigate and allow it to escape leaving a pheromone trail that goes directly into my proton ejector >i feel a string of ants crawl in just as planned >tighten my glutes and crush the ants with my 4pl8 boipussy >repeat throughout the night as more fools go to their deaths >do this for a week >colony leaves
Anonymous 04/30/17(Sun)08:34:29 No.41255492 >>41261284 >>41261666 >>41261860 >>41262156 >>41262192 >>41255512 >>41255561 >house infested with ants >they infest my $60 protein powder >pay exterminator $250 to remove them last August >mfw the're f------ back MY SHAAAAAAAAKKKEEEEESSSSSSS O Anonymous 04/30/17(Sun)08:35:40 No.41255512 File: 1450387293096s.jpg (3 KB, 96x125) YA BLEW IT >>41255492 (OP) >get folic acid infused whey powder >protein content of whey goes up for free >complain about it never gonna make it f----- Anonymous 04/30/17(Sun)08:46:21 No.41255632 >>41257885 >>41258578 >>41261135 >>41261239 >>41261357 >>41255492 (OP) I used my superior intellect to destroy these unintelligent drones >slip some honey into my a------ during the night >feel an ant investigate and allow it to escape leaving a pheromone trail that goes directly into my proton ejector >i feel a string of ants crawl in just as planned >tighten my glutes and crush the ants with my 4pl8 boipussy >repeat throughout the night as more fools go to their deaths >do this for a week >colony leaves

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Anon goes to uni | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)19:14:27 No.858290225 >Be me > Go to uni > Depressed as f--- going in after being rejected multiple times by girls I found myself getting obsessed with. >During 4 years build up healthy relationships > Start taking better care of myself 335 KB JPG > working out, friends say "looking bigger anon keep going" > One girl I found myself liking but kept distance from because I knew wasn't ready. > Spent extra time with her towards end > Tell her friend (girl) I like her > She says she ships it and wants it to happen > Excitement.jpg > Uni ends, say farewells > Friends say msg her tell her how I feel > Finally swallow fear of rejection and message her > She ignores it and doesn't even open it and still posts on story > mfw I realise I am f------ looser who's going to die alone Could really use someone to talk to right now any similar experiences? best advice from an outside perspective? 8 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)19:14:27 No.858290225 >Be me > Go to uni > Depressed as f--- going in after being rejected multiple times by girls I found myself getting obsessed with. >During 4 years build up healthy relationships > Start taking better care of myself 335 KB JPG > working out, friends say "looking bigger anon keep going" > One girl I found myself liking but kept distance from because I knew wasn't ready. > Spent extra time with her towards end > Tell her friend (girl) I like her > She says she ships it and wants it to happen > Excitement.jpg > Uni ends, say farewells > Friends say msg her tell her how I feel > Finally swallow fear of rejection and message her > She ignores it and doesn't even open it and still posts on story > mfw I realise I am f------ looser who's going to die alone Could really use someone to talk to right now any similar experiences? best advice from an outside perspective? 8 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon's list of enemies | /r/Greentext

we are NOT frens 1620505052481.jpg 50 KB JPG Do you guys have a list of enemies? People you would just love to see suffer? I have a short list of enemies with people who i would shank in the dark >the guy who bullied me in 5th grade >my high school math teacher >the dealer that sold me some herb instead of weed and i didnt see him again >my ex >the state of israel >the roastie in the supermarket that laughed at me when my card got declined >my old roommate ill have my revenge some day
we are NOT frens 1620505052481.jpg 50 KB JPG Do you guys have a list of enemies? People you would just love to see suffer? I have a short list of enemies with people who i would shank in the dark >the guy who bullied me in 5th grade >my high school math teacher >the dealer that sold me some herb instead of weed and i didnt see him again >my ex >the state of israel >the roastie in the supermarket that laughed at me when my card got declined >my old roommate ill have my revenge some day

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Anon has some healthy frame fun | /r/Greentext

File: 1445215288691.jpg (55 KB, 438x438) Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)06:52:13 No.827969426 [Reply] D >Be me >Mummy's bestest healthy 450 pound boy in all of Surfside Florida >haven't left condo since mummy brought me home in 1981 >Mummy loves me, brings me all the tendies every day >Am happy, even rinse off musk in pool for more GBP >With mummy's good behavior, piss jugg cellar getting full >WITH TENDIES YOU HAVE SHOWN ME LOVE, I'VE NO NEED FOR ALL THESE JUGGS. YOU HAVE HELPED MY HEALTHY FRAME, TIME FOR THESE PISS JUGGS TO DRAIN >Wait until pool is being drained to empty 50 gallon piss barrels >Gassy bubblies like my booty braps as it reacts with the pool chemicals >Notice bubblies coming from crack in concrete. Looks like a bubbly bath! >Decide to go for double the GBP and rinse off my healthy frame with a couple canon balls into the healthy pool >Cracks in concrete start to widen and bubbling intensifies with each healthy bounce on the diving board >THIS POOL IS NOT READY I KNOW, I WILL NOT SHOUT "GERONIMO!" SINCE THE WATER IS NOT FULL, I WILL DIVE IN SCREAMING "SITTING BULL!!" >Take my very highest step off the edge of the diving board and turn myself into a mighty canonball attack >Pool not full enough with acidic piss to break my fall >Bottom of pool cracks even more under the impact of my healthy booty striking the bottom of the pool >Freshly coated with my own manly musk, go total Alpha Male mode and jump in again >Roof top pool gets a little crooked, but probably still safe for splishy splashies >Take another mighty step off the edge of the slightly crooked diving board on top of 12 story condo >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉEEEEEEEEEEEE! >The impressive force of my healthy frame bursts through the bottom of the pool >25 year old fermented acidic piss floods into rebar holding concrete supports of condo together >Pathetic vegetal building crumbles under the weight of my dominant healthy frame. >12 confirmed dead. nearlv 150 missing HIGH SCORE!
File: 1445215288691.jpg (55 KB, 438x438) Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)06:52:13 No.827969426 [Reply] D >Be me >Mummy's bestest healthy 450 pound boy in all of Surfside Florida >haven't left condo since mummy brought me home in 1981 >Mummy loves me, brings me all the tendies every day >Am happy, even rinse off musk in pool for more GBP >With mummy's good behavior, piss jugg cellar getting full >WITH TENDIES YOU HAVE SHOWN ME LOVE, I'VE NO NEED FOR ALL THESE JUGGS. YOU HAVE HELPED MY HEALTHY FRAME, TIME FOR THESE PISS JUGGS TO DRAIN >Wait until pool is being drained to empty 50 gallon piss barrels >Gassy bubblies like my booty braps as it reacts with the pool chemicals >Notice bubblies coming from crack in concrete. Looks like a bubbly bath! >Decide to go for double the GBP and rinse off my healthy frame with a couple canon balls into the healthy pool >Cracks in concrete start to widen and bubbling intensifies with each healthy bounce on the diving board >THIS POOL IS NOT READY I KNOW, I WILL NOT SHOUT "GERONIMO!" SINCE THE WATER IS NOT FULL, I WILL DIVE IN SCREAMING "SITTING BULL!!" >Take my very highest step off the edge of the diving board and turn myself into a mighty canonball attack >Pool not full enough with acidic piss to break my fall >Bottom of pool cracks even more under the impact of my healthy booty striking the bottom of the pool >Freshly coated with my own manly musk, go total Alpha Male mode and jump in again >Roof top pool gets a little crooked, but probably still safe for splishy splashies >Take another mighty step off the edge of the slightly crooked diving board on top of 12 story condo >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉEEEEEEEEEEEE! >The impressive force of my healthy frame bursts through the bottom of the pool >25 year old fermented acidic piss floods into rebar holding concrete supports of condo together >Pathetic vegetal building crumbles under the weight of my dominant healthy frame. >12 confirmed dead. nearlv 150 missing HIGH SCORE!

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Anon is a Poomer | /r/Greentext

Polish_20210620_014031646.jpg 416 KB JPG >hi every1 im new!!!! holds up log my name is andy but u can call me DeStRoYeR of ThRotEs!! kek.as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^.. im 30 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 clog loos w/ my log posters (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) b is our favourite board!!! bcuz its SO000 random!!! i want 2 meet more random ppl like they say the more the merrier!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! PO000OMMMM!!! ! <--- me bein random again ^^ hehe.toodles!!!! love and waffles, DeStRoYeR of ThRotEs!!!!!!!!
Polish_20210620_014031646.jpg 416 KB JPG >hi every1 im new!!!! holds up log my name is andy but u can call me DeStRoYeR of ThRotEs!! kek.as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^.. im 30 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 clog loos w/ my log posters (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) b is our favourite board!!! bcuz its SO000 random!!! i want 2 meet more random ppl like they say the more the merrier!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! PO000OMMMM!!! ! <--- me bein random again ^^ hehe.toodles!!!! love and waffles, DeStRoYeR of ThRotEs!!!!!!!!

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Anon makes a wojak | /r/Greentext

i made my own wojak 12 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)00:32:12 No.846098834 >>846098794 (OP) # kys KYS!!!!!!
i made my own wojak 12 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)00:32:12 No.846098834 >>846098794 (OP) # kys KYS!!!!!!

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What lurks around each corner for Anon. | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to local gun store | /r/Greentext

File: 04f107ef9ff63993bc7cbc142(--).jpg (45 KB, 600x300) O Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)12:25:29 No.49846393 [Reply] >>49846494 LGS stories >go down to my local store/range this morning >both clerks are total bros >ask to f--------- full auto aug rental they have >tell them I'm thinking about buying one at retard gunbroker prices >they call me a f----- and tell me to just buy an AR >later 2 lanklets come in to rent guns for the range >they choose a full auto 300 blk., full auto silenced mp5, other similar guns >clerk asks about their shooting experience >lanklet 1 who made all the selections says he's never fired a gun before >hear clerks a------ pucker from across the shop as he tactfully tries to persuade them to start a little smaller >lanklet says verbatim, unironically >"It's cool man, you don't have to worry. I play A LOT of Escape From Tarkov, plus Airsoft too. I could field strip all these guns blindfolded." >mfw me and clerks eyes meet across the store
File: 04f107ef9ff63993bc7cbc142(--).jpg (45 KB, 600x300) O Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)12:25:29 No.49846393 [Reply] >>49846494 LGS stories >go down to my local store/range this morning >both clerks are total bros >ask to f--------- full auto aug rental they have >tell them I'm thinking about buying one at retard gunbroker prices >they call me a f----- and tell me to just buy an AR >later 2 lanklets come in to rent guns for the range >they choose a full auto 300 blk., full auto silenced mp5, other similar guns >clerk asks about their shooting experience >lanklet 1 who made all the selections says he's never fired a gun before >hear clerks a------ pucker from across the shop as he tactfully tries to persuade them to start a little smaller >lanklet says verbatim, unironically >"It's cool man, you don't have to worry. I play A LOT of Escape From Tarkov, plus Airsoft too. I could field strip all these guns blindfolded." >mfw me and clerks eyes meet across the store

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Anon dislikes gossiping | /r/Greentext

lol, look at that loser! O Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)20:18:32 No.857964615 ► how do you guys deal with people gossiping against you? This is cancer in social form... >be me, at work >i have some coworkers who gossip and spread rumors and lies about me, as they have with other people >have no idea why, i've never done anything bad against them >some people believe them and start disliking me and acting towards me as if they were true, making interactions at work harder and overall work life more difficult what do?
lol, look at that loser! O Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)20:18:32 No.857964615 ► how do you guys deal with people gossiping against you? This is cancer in social form... >be me, at work >i have some coworkers who gossip and spread rumors and lies about me, as they have with other people >have no idea why, i've never done anything bad against them >some people believe them and start disliking me and acting towards me as if they were true, making interactions at work harder and overall work life more difficult what do?

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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)21:36:31 No.858265248 >drink coffee >weird anxieties about body image >teeth clench >want to remove the tiniest small brown mole from my body >feel like a loser 5 KB JPG >want to coom to every pornstar >feel good for 20mins but then feel anxious/irritated >feel like my life is going downhill no matter what i do >doom
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)21:36:31 No.858265248 >drink coffee >weird anxieties about body image >teeth clench >want to remove the tiniest small brown mole from my body >feel like a loser 5 KB JPG >want to coom to every pornstar >feel good for 20mins but then feel anxious/irritated >feel like my life is going downhill no matter what i do >doom

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Anon is unproductive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TtfEsQxd Accomplishments 07/03/21(Sat)21:57:00 No.328624145 Today I >fapped >ate two slices of pizza >watched tv 7 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 74NO8PKD 07/03/21(Sat)21:58:37 No.328624320 >>328624145 (OP) # >Went to work >Came home >Called you a f----- >>328624666 #
: Anonymous (ID: TtfEsQxd Accomplishments 07/03/21(Sat)21:57:00 No.328624145 Today I >fapped >ate two slices of pizza >watched tv 7 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 74NO8PKD 07/03/21(Sat)21:58:37 No.328624320 >>328624145 (OP) # >Went to work >Came home >Called you a f----- >>328624666 #

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Anon needs to shit | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a good liar | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in US | /r/Greentext


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