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Anon got a ghost problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)00:07:44 No.851776908 A gay ghost rapes my anus at night. >be me >be trying to sleep >a gay ghost inserts god tier penis in anus 127 KB JPG >it hurts Help me please. What do I do? 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)00:07:44 No.851776908 A gay ghost rapes my anus at night. >be me >be trying to sleep >a gay ghost inserts god tier penis in anus 127 KB JPG >it hurts Help me please. What do I do? 8 Replies View Thread

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Fresh from the dutch oven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)18:53:13 No.851779858 >take a monster dump >leave the door open >scent fills the house for everyone to smell 8 KB GIF
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)18:53:13 No.851779858 >take a monster dump >leave the door open >scent fills the house for everyone to smell 8 KB GIF

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Anon gets attention | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)22:08:16 No.63148325 >pretend I'm a woman on the internet >suddenly get 200% more attention I've just discovered that "attention" is actually quite nice, who woulda thought? going to continue doing this from 30 KB JPG now on
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)22:08:16 No.63148325 >pretend I'm a woman on the internet >suddenly get 200% more attention I've just discovered that "attention" is actually quite nice, who woulda thought? going to continue doing this from 30 KB JPG now on

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Tv jingles are too catchy | /r/Greentext

>be me >watching TV with family >commercial break comes on >no one cares, they're on their phones >suddenly an ad for a food delivery 3.72 MB GIF service starts >without saying a word my entire family immediately gets up from their seats and begins mimicking the dance moves from the commercial >commercial ends >they sit back down and return to looking at their phones >hours later overhear my sister in the shower whistling the jingle >sneak my head into the bathroom and notice she's doing the dance as well Is this part of some kind of deep state psyop? 82 Replies / 10 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)15:16:37 No.28181625 >>28181582 # She's onlv 17 you sick f---.
>be me >watching TV with family >commercial break comes on >no one cares, they're on their phones >suddenly an ad for a food delivery 3.72 MB GIF service starts >without saying a word my entire family immediately gets up from their seats and begins mimicking the dance moves from the commercial >commercial ends >they sit back down and return to looking at their phones >hours later overhear my sister in the shower whistling the jingle >sneak my head into the bathroom and notice she's doing the dance as well Is this part of some kind of deep state psyop? 82 Replies / 10 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)15:16:37 No.28181625 >>28181582 # She's onlv 17 you sick f---.

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Anon has thoughts on gender issues | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)13:54:28 No.851772490 >be me >one chance at life >born in somalia 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)13:54:28 No.851772490 >be me >one chance at life >born in somalia 50 KB JPG

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Anon has mood swings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)12:51:03 No.851744194 >feel good >look into mirror >feel bad 22 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)12:53:14 No.851744271 :(
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)12:51:03 No.851744194 >feel good >look into mirror >feel bad 22 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)12:53:14 No.851744271 :(

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serbianon gives social commentary | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >I want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life L04 NL 407 900
O Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >I want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life L04 NL 407 900

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Anon has a religious family | /r/Greentext

No.851769081 36 minutes ago grinch.jpg JPG 137.8 KiB 1920x1080 >be me, 13 >accidently walk in on my dad and mom f------ >get the f--- out of there >later dad takes me aside and explains the birds and the bees >whatever, I've seen p---, know how to do it >dad is uber religous can't say I already know how it's done >dad says I need to lubricate my penis before inserting it >says the only way is to suck my own d--- >huh? >he says oral sex is prohibited so he has to suck his own d--- to not go against God >says he's been doing it for years >says its the only way >ask if just spitting would work >he looks at me without saying anything >tells me never to tell anyone about this >mfw telling f------ on 4chan how my dad's been sucking his own d--- for years 6 replies
No.851769081 36 minutes ago grinch.jpg JPG 137.8 KiB 1920x1080 >be me, 13 >accidently walk in on my dad and mom f------ >get the f--- out of there >later dad takes me aside and explains the birds and the bees >whatever, I've seen p---, know how to do it >dad is uber religous can't say I already know how it's done >dad says I need to lubricate my penis before inserting it >says the only way is to suck my own d--- >huh? >he says oral sex is prohibited so he has to suck his own d--- to not go against God >says he's been doing it for years >says its the only way >ask if just spitting would work >he looks at me without saying anything >tells me never to tell anyone about this >mfw telling f------ on 4chan how my dad's been sucking his own d--- for years 6 replies

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anon performs a procedure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)12:54:14 No.851769100 >be me >be teenage wageslave working at amusement park >work this tower ride all summer >push button >they go up, they come down fast, they scream >all summer stand next to sign >no smoking >no bikini tops >no pregnant women >no food >push button 500 times a day >one day this couple comes to the tower >both slightly fat and greasy with monster truck t-shirts or some WWE s--- >super early in the morning so no lines >they go up, they go down >couple asks if they can keep going since no one else is in line >sure, why not >push button seven times >thanks, anon >no problem >they're two happy trash plebbies with not a care in the world between them >the woman is rubbing her belly >turns to her bf and says she felt it kick that last time >mfw she's not just fat >mfw she broke the sign's rules >how many abortions have you anons accidentally performed?
Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)12:54:14 No.851769100 >be me >be teenage wageslave working at amusement park >work this tower ride all summer >push button >they go up, they come down fast, they scream >all summer stand next to sign >no smoking >no bikini tops >no pregnant women >no food >push button 500 times a day >one day this couple comes to the tower >both slightly fat and greasy with monster truck t-shirts or some WWE s--- >super early in the morning so no lines >they go up, they go down >couple asks if they can keep going since no one else is in line >sure, why not >push button seven times >thanks, anon >no problem >they're two happy trash plebbies with not a care in the world between them >the woman is rubbing her belly >turns to her bf and says she felt it kick that last time >mfw she's not just fat >mfw she broke the sign's rules >how many abortions have you anons accidentally performed?

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Anon wants to be a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)19:45:46 No.63148406 >cute as f--- >loved by many >get massaged all day >sleep all day >eat all day >do whatever you want whenever you 156 KB JPG want I want to be a cat. there is no downside to being a cat. God please turn me into a cat.
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)19:45:46 No.63148406 >cute as f--- >loved by many >get massaged all day >sleep all day >eat all day >do whatever you want whenever you 156 KB JPG want I want to be a cat. there is no downside to being a cat. God please turn me into a cat.

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Anon has to prove he‘s straight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)13:32:07 No.63144995 >gay sex scene or other homoerotic stuff >start overthinking how much attention l'm paying, try to act natural >don't want to pay too much 14 KB JPG attention >don't want to pay too little because people will think I'm overcompensating >heart rate goes up because l'm nervous what people think >creates positive feedback loop because now my gf resting on my chest might think my heartrate is increasing because I like the gay stuff happening >Breathing increases, I wonder if anyone else in the room notices >Need to come up with something fast >Say "GAAAAAAAAY" like Chang from Community >Can now blame everything on my laughter >Can only get away with this two or three times before it becomes stale >Start watching movies in advance to see if they have gay scenes in them before watching them with friends, family or SO >Literally sneaking off to the cinema this week to vet a movie that I plan on seeing with my GF next week Anyone else?
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)13:32:07 No.63144995 >gay sex scene or other homoerotic stuff >start overthinking how much attention l'm paying, try to act natural >don't want to pay too much 14 KB JPG attention >don't want to pay too little because people will think I'm overcompensating >heart rate goes up because l'm nervous what people think >creates positive feedback loop because now my gf resting on my chest might think my heartrate is increasing because I like the gay stuff happening >Breathing increases, I wonder if anyone else in the room notices >Need to come up with something fast >Say "GAAAAAAAAY" like Chang from Community >Can now blame everything on my laughter >Can only get away with this two or three times before it becomes stale >Start watching movies in advance to see if they have gay scenes in them before watching them with friends, family or SO >Literally sneaking off to the cinema this week to vet a movie that I plan on seeing with my GF next week Anyone else?

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Some freaky stuff going on here | /r/Greentext

01/27/21(Wed)19:25:56 No.62053745 : Anonymous Spooky stories Friend told me this story that aoparently happened to his uncle.or whatever >Go to bed >Wake up in the middle of the night because of strange noises in his bedroom >Turn bedside lamp on >There's a woman with no facial features other 42 KB JPG then her mouth standing in his room >She's wielding a big ass knife >He's so scared he can't even scream >She gets on his bed and sits on top of him >Sticks the knife bedside table >Turns the light off and proceeds to f--- the s--- out of him >He wakes up in the morning thinking it was all a dream >There's still the knife's hole in the bedside table He was a bit of a stoner and a drinker, but never did anything other than weed and booze. He quit drinking shortly after that.
01/27/21(Wed)19:25:56 No.62053745 : Anonymous Spooky stories Friend told me this story that aoparently happened to his uncle.or whatever >Go to bed >Wake up in the middle of the night because of strange noises in his bedroom >Turn bedside lamp on >There's a woman with no facial features other 42 KB JPG then her mouth standing in his room >She's wielding a big ass knife >He's so scared he can't even scream >She gets on his bed and sits on top of him >Sticks the knife bedside table >Turns the light off and proceeds to f--- the s--- out of him >He wakes up in the morning thinking it was all a dream >There's still the knife's hole in the bedside table He was a bit of a stoner and a drinker, but never did anything other than weed and booze. He quit drinking shortly after that.

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Anon has a realistic dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)04:58:02 No.851739685 >be me >sleeping >have dream >meet girl >beautiful, great girl, meet her through a friend sad apu 51 KB PNG >we hit it off >we go on a date >like each other a lot >we talk and talk >we love each other a lot >years go by and we are dating and we still love each other >talk about getting married, having family >wake up >mfw Happened today. Made me sad as f--- and it felt as if it were a memory and it actually happened. 3- 4 years it took and was gone because i woke up
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)04:58:02 No.851739685 >be me >sleeping >have dream >meet girl >beautiful, great girl, meet her through a friend sad apu 51 KB PNG >we hit it off >we go on a date >like each other a lot >we talk and talk >we love each other a lot >years go by and we are dating and we still love each other >talk about getting married, having family >wake up >mfw Happened today. Made me sad as f--- and it felt as if it were a memory and it actually happened. 3- 4 years it took and was gone because i woke up

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New slaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)01:21:50 No.63142057 >be me -Wagie wage get in cagie Al day long you aweat and ragie NEETs comfy NEET s cool - NEET a tee from work and school Wagie trapped and wagie dies NEET eats tenies sauce and fies >day 1 at amazon distribution center >up at eat s--- o'clock in the morning to get across town in time for orientation 12 KB JPG >orientation is 20 minutes, the rest of the extra hour we had to show up before our shift is unpaid >"supervisor" (some random tool who's been stuck there long enough to earn the right to stand around with his hands on his hips) brings me to my little standing desk where I will be folding cardboard boxes and filling them with random s--- for the next 9 hours >7 hours and 4 declined bathroom breaks later i decide f--- this and walk out >leave my badge at my desk >ignore the voices behind me telling me to return to my workstation >grab my lunch that I wasn't allowed a break to go eat >thank god i parked close >hop in my car >couple fire trucks pass me on the highway >then a couple cop cars >don't think much of it >see smoke as i approach my street >my house is already a pile of ashes >cops are waiting for me >"anon, you're under arrest for arson and attempted insurance fraud" >sentenced to 30 years without trial because the court records are maintained by Amazon Web Services >Amazon strikes again
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)01:21:50 No.63142057 >be me -Wagie wage get in cagie Al day long you aweat and ragie NEETs comfy NEET s cool - NEET a tee from work and school Wagie trapped and wagie dies NEET eats tenies sauce and fies >day 1 at amazon distribution center >up at eat s--- o'clock in the morning to get across town in time for orientation 12 KB JPG >orientation is 20 minutes, the rest of the extra hour we had to show up before our shift is unpaid >"supervisor" (some random tool who's been stuck there long enough to earn the right to stand around with his hands on his hips) brings me to my little standing desk where I will be folding cardboard boxes and filling them with random s--- for the next 9 hours >7 hours and 4 declined bathroom breaks later i decide f--- this and walk out >leave my badge at my desk >ignore the voices behind me telling me to return to my workstation >grab my lunch that I wasn't allowed a break to go eat >thank god i parked close >hop in my car >couple fire trucks pass me on the highway >then a couple cop cars >don't think much of it >see smoke as i approach my street >my house is already a pile of ashes >cops are waiting for me >"anon, you're under arrest for arson and attempted insurance fraud" >sentenced to 30 years without trial because the court records are maintained by Amazon Web Services >Amazon strikes again

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Anon is indian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)15:11:26 No.63144074 >Indian born in America >See my women worship white men Okay cool, I guess, white people rule America and women are 586 KB JPG hypergamist. >Go back home in the hope of picking up a beautiful Indian lady >Should be easy as Indian men rule India >See white men or tourists being treated better than local Indian men So rope it is for me then. This is b-------. So what's there for me then?
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)15:11:26 No.63144074 >Indian born in America >See my women worship white men Okay cool, I guess, white people rule America and women are 586 KB JPG hypergamist. >Go back home in the hope of picking up a beautiful Indian lady >Should be easy as Indian men rule India >See white men or tourists being treated better than local Indian men So rope it is for me then. This is b-------. So what's there for me then?

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Anon moisturizes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)17:02:57 No.63147152 >being bullied for moisturising my whole body i-its normal isnt it? i want soft skin all over not just my face 385 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)17:02:57 No.63147152 >being bullied for moisturising my whole body i-its normal isnt it? i want soft skin all over not just my face 385 KB PNG

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Anon has a little sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)17:44:16 No.63147684 >Little sister cries >Tell her that no one gives a f--- and she can stop crying Getting rid of the female victim complex before it even begins 7 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)17:44:16 No.63147684 >Little sister cries >Tell her that no one gives a f--- and she can stop crying Getting rid of the female victim complex before it even begins 7 KB PNG

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Anon doesn't understand redditors | /r/Greentext

> be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes 23 KB JPG >it said "nice" >ldon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw
> be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes 23 KB JPG >it said "nice" >ldon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Anon forgets to close his door | /r/Greentext

>couple of hours ago >jacking off in my room >about to bust >remember i forgot to lock the door >turn around to check >my sister is watching me >no idea how long she's been there >we stare at each other as i c-- >she closes the door and leaves >havent left my room since what do? 14m (4/10 22:50) · 851753752 PNG · 92KB · (1572 × 1796) >>851753413 (OP) f--- her.
>couple of hours ago >jacking off in my room >about to bust >remember i forgot to lock the door >turn around to check >my sister is watching me >no idea how long she's been there >we stare at each other as i c-- >she closes the door and leaves >havent left my room since what do? 14m (4/10 22:50) · 851753752 PNG · 92KB · (1572 × 1796) >>851753413 (OP) f--- her.

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