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Anon hates his son. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21 (Thu)12:05:46 No.847128271 I low key hate my son. I gotta get this off my chest. >Be me 20 years ago. 1999. Complete nerd. >Nintendo all day long. No social life. 75 KB JPG >S--- at sports. >Couldn't talk to girls. School sucked. School dances sucked. >Tried working out and getting fit but my social awkwardness was always my downfall. >Lost virginity to fat ugly girl in senior year. We hooked up a bunch of times. >She got pregnant. >We got married because of the kid. >My dreams of being a traveller out the f------ window. >Broke as s---. S----- apartment. Fast forward 20 years. 2019 >I lost all muscle, balding hard core, and l'm a solid 2/10. I've only gotten uglier. S--- self esteem. >My wife is fatter than ever. Diabetic now. >Tried to start my own IT company. Struggling financially. >but my son.... my f------ son... that f------ offspring that ruined my life >My son works out, charismatic, plays basketball and volleyball in college >My son is the Chad I always wanted to be >My son is g----------- left right and center. I see his snapchats from another account. >He's having threeways and partying with these hot college girls I could only j------- to online. >Straight A student too >He's living the life I always wanted when I was his age. >l'm proud of him, sure, but I hate that I never got to live the life he did. >l can't anymore. I regret not being like that. >My son has no idea how much I struggled and it's thrown in my face every time I see him date another girl. >I look at my wife and I cry. What do I do? How do I get throught this?
: Anonymous 02/11/21 (Thu)12:05:46 No.847128271 I low key hate my son. I gotta get this off my chest. >Be me 20 years ago. 1999. Complete nerd. >Nintendo all day long. No social life. 75 KB JPG >S--- at sports. >Couldn't talk to girls. School sucked. School dances sucked. >Tried working out and getting fit but my social awkwardness was always my downfall. >Lost virginity to fat ugly girl in senior year. We hooked up a bunch of times. >She got pregnant. >We got married because of the kid. >My dreams of being a traveller out the f------ window. >Broke as s---. S----- apartment. Fast forward 20 years. 2019 >I lost all muscle, balding hard core, and l'm a solid 2/10. I've only gotten uglier. S--- self esteem. >My wife is fatter than ever. Diabetic now. >Tried to start my own IT company. Struggling financially. >but my son.... my f------ son... that f------ offspring that ruined my life >My son works out, charismatic, plays basketball and volleyball in college >My son is the Chad I always wanted to be >My son is g----------- left right and center. I see his snapchats from another account. >He's having threeways and partying with these hot college girls I could only j------- to online. >Straight A student too >He's living the life I always wanted when I was his age. >l'm proud of him, sure, but I hate that I never got to live the life he did. >l can't anymore. I regret not being like that. >My son has no idea how much I struggled and it's thrown in my face every time I see him date another girl. >I look at my wife and I cry. What do I do? How do I get throught this?

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Anon may be gay | /r/Greentext

> be me > taking a s--- > oh_man_its_pretty_big.exe > comes out > feeling satisfied.mp3 > ah yees > flush it > mfw its bigger than my d--- > mfw i liked it am i gay ?
> be me > taking a s--- > oh_man_its_pretty_big.exe > comes out > feeling satisfied.mp3 > ah yees > flush it > mfw its bigger than my d--- > mfw i liked it am i gay ?

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/tv/ explains a tradition to his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)15:24:15 No.139971074 Goose.jpg 289 KB JPG >See that guy posted the letter N, now I have to reply to him with the letter I
: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)15:24:15 No.139971074 Goose.jpg 289 KB JPG >See that guy posted the letter N, now I have to reply to him with the letter I

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Anon plays healer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:30:28 No.543918161 yuck_1600.jpg 189 KB JPG >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >he's a healer : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:33:21 No.543918434 Healer is actually the most alpha class Without you the entire group would fail You are keeping everyone alive
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:30:28 No.543918161 yuck_1600.jpg 189 KB JPG >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >he's a healer : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:33:21 No.543918434 Healer is actually the most alpha class Without you the entire group would fail You are keeping everyone alive

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Anon's piss bottle problem | /r/Greentext

>>847098442 >be 15 year old me >absolutely disgusting neet goblin >drink a s--- ton of pic related, several per day >literally just piss in all of them and toss them around the room >fast forward a few years >moving out and have to clean room >well over a decade of f------ piss bottles >spend several days filling up backpack with piss bottles, walking them into the woods and dumping them >by the time i am done there is this f------ massive pile of hundreds of piss bottles in a small clearing sometimes i wonder if i could see them on google maps. think i'm gonna check
>>847098442 >be 15 year old me >absolutely disgusting neet goblin >drink a s--- ton of pic related, several per day >literally just piss in all of them and toss them around the room >fast forward a few years >moving out and have to clean room >well over a decade of f------ piss bottles >spend several days filling up backpack with piss bottles, walking them into the woods and dumping them >by the time i am done there is this f------ massive pile of hundreds of piss bottles in a small clearing sometimes i wonder if i could see them on google maps. think i'm gonna check

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Anon lives in a society | /r/Greentext

File: 046BF16A-EA44-4647-A4DB-2(...).jpg (75 KB, 482x427) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:28:41 No.847094640 [Reply] >live in america + 17 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:47:06 No.847098578 File: 1528397862225.jpg (176 KB, 468x468) >live
File: 046BF16A-EA44-4647-A4DB-2(...).jpg (75 KB, 482x427) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:28:41 No.847094640 [Reply] >live in america + 17 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:47:06 No.847098578 File: 1528397862225.jpg (176 KB, 468x468) >live

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Anon got his way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)01:51:31 No.62271235 >be me, last year >sitting in university library >headphones on, taking notes from textbook >feel tap on shoulder >ignore it, whoever it is will 611 KB PNG go away >feel tap on shoulder again >ignore again >hand is placed on my textbook and starts tapping it >painted nails, goddamnit it's a female >slide textbook away, keep ignoring >hand comes over from other side, placed on textbook yet again >grab hand and shove away as hard as I can >feel thud on the floor, can see people look out of the corner of my eye >ignore this too >subtly turn down music to listen >woman is crying, sounds like she's still laying on the floor >another female voice is talking (sounds like consolation), eventually both start moving away >get back to studying, haven't moved from my chair or even looked at them at this point >finish up a couple hours later and go back to dorm >get an email from the dean telling me that there was a complaint filed against me, have to attend meetings and go through disciplinary procedures >oh s--- I'm gonna get expelled >mfw I find out that the girl was from a feminist club and was trying to recruit me as a "male ally" >mfw there was a security camera in the library that captured everything >mfw the university dismissed the complaint and actually wanted to investigate her for instigating
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)01:51:31 No.62271235 >be me, last year >sitting in university library >headphones on, taking notes from textbook >feel tap on shoulder >ignore it, whoever it is will 611 KB PNG go away >feel tap on shoulder again >ignore again >hand is placed on my textbook and starts tapping it >painted nails, goddamnit it's a female >slide textbook away, keep ignoring >hand comes over from other side, placed on textbook yet again >grab hand and shove away as hard as I can >feel thud on the floor, can see people look out of the corner of my eye >ignore this too >subtly turn down music to listen >woman is crying, sounds like she's still laying on the floor >another female voice is talking (sounds like consolation), eventually both start moving away >get back to studying, haven't moved from my chair or even looked at them at this point >finish up a couple hours later and go back to dorm >get an email from the dean telling me that there was a complaint filed against me, have to attend meetings and go through disciplinary procedures >oh s--- I'm gonna get expelled >mfw I find out that the girl was from a feminist club and was trying to recruit me as a "male ally" >mfw there was a security camera in the library that captured everything >mfw the university dismissed the complaint and actually wanted to investigate her for instigating

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Anon becomes autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Annon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:41:08 No.62277325 >woke up from a dream where i had a gf again 49 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:41:08 No.62277325 >woke up from a dream where i had a gf again 49 KB JPG

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Anon at a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:38:14 No.847109416 >at a party >girl approaches me >whispers into my ear >"come to my place and l'll beat the s--- out of you" >Why would she wanna do that? She probably meant "I want to s--- on you" 57 KB JPG >fair enough >mfw she actually beats the s--- out of me : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:40:10 No.847109516 >>847109416 (OP) # Back to Red dit NOW
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:38:14 No.847109416 >at a party >girl approaches me >whispers into my ear >"come to my place and l'll beat the s--- out of you" >Why would she wanna do that? She probably meant "I want to s--- on you" 57 KB JPG >fair enough >mfw she actually beats the s--- out of me : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:40:10 No.847109516 >>847109416 (OP) # Back to Red dit NOW

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Anon isn't picky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:25:37 No.62270914 >Be me >At grocery store getting general foodstuffs >Go to deli >qt3.14 behind the counter 10 KB JPG "Could I get 250 grams of sliced ham" "Is black forest okay?" >Can't hear her through the mask "Blunt force? I don't care how they kill it just the regular kind is good" >Gives me a look of disgust >... >Goddamnit >God f------ damnit Masks are making interaction 10x harder for social retards like myself
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:25:37 No.62270914 >Be me >At grocery store getting general foodstuffs >Go to deli >qt3.14 behind the counter 10 KB JPG "Could I get 250 grams of sliced ham" "Is black forest okay?" >Can't hear her through the mask "Blunt force? I don't care how they kill it just the regular kind is good" >Gives me a look of disgust >... >Goddamnit >God f------ damnit Masks are making interaction 10x harder for social retards like myself

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:08:24 No.847076978 IRL N Word Pass >2012 >be white 16 year old in Highschool, 50% of the school is black >black kids always calling each other “n----" 19 KB JPG >say it in front of staff, never blink an eye >idea >say "sup n----" to my friend in front of staff >instantly sent to the office >principal is furious, gives me a five day suspension >all part of the plan >get back to school >write down every instance of black kids saying "n----" >report it to the staff >they can't pick and choose rules >multiple black kids get suspended too >tons of angry parents calling the school daily >mfw
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:08:24 No.847076978 IRL N Word Pass >2012 >be white 16 year old in Highschool, 50% of the school is black >black kids always calling each other “n----" 19 KB JPG >say it in front of staff, never blink an eye >idea >say "sup n----" to my friend in front of staff >instantly sent to the office >principal is furious, gives me a five day suspension >all part of the plan >get back to school >write down every instance of black kids saying "n----" >report it to the staff >they can't pick and choose rules >multiple black kids get suspended too >tons of angry parents calling the school daily >mfw

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Erasmus Montanus by Ludvig Holberg | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ascension 05/02/18(Wed)10:45:03 No.4508801 >Be me >Rasmus berg >Go to university >Become very much smart.mp4 >Like latin >Be me >Erasmus montanus (smart name) >wanna show how smart i am >Go home to village 326 KB PNG >Everyone is stupid except me (l am very much intelligent) >Find someone to discuss with >They say "earth is flat unga bunga" >facepalm.mp4 >Find my girlfriend >She will marry me if i say earth is flat.png (like she is) >Reject her >Marry science instead (because i am very much smart) >I love science (and chicken tendies) >Be me >happy now
: Anonymous Ascension 05/02/18(Wed)10:45:03 No.4508801 >Be me >Rasmus berg >Go to university >Become very much smart.mp4 >Like latin >Be me >Erasmus montanus (smart name) >wanna show how smart i am >Go home to village 326 KB PNG >Everyone is stupid except me (l am very much intelligent) >Find someone to discuss with >They say "earth is flat unga bunga" >facepalm.mp4 >Find my girlfriend >She will marry me if i say earth is flat.png (like she is) >Reject her >Marry science instead (because i am very much smart) >I love science (and chicken tendies) >Be me >happy now

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anon is american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: tU0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: tU0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG

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Don’t mess with Anon | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/26/20(Fri)03:54:00 No.56167255 >>56168442 >>56167048 (OP) >Walking down the street >See gorilla running up to me >l'm a blackbelt in Ninjutsu, one of the deadliest martial arts in the world >Run up to it >lt throws a punch >Dodge and use a flying armbar to break its arm >Roll off, hitting its knee as do so >Use a Krav Maga strike to hit it in the neck >It's still alive >"Now you've made me angry" >Pull out my swiss army knife and finish it off >Blood gets on my trench coat but I don't even care Don't mess with me
O Anonymous 06/26/20(Fri)03:54:00 No.56167255 >>56168442 >>56167048 (OP) >Walking down the street >See gorilla running up to me >l'm a blackbelt in Ninjutsu, one of the deadliest martial arts in the world >Run up to it >lt throws a punch >Dodge and use a flying armbar to break its arm >Roll off, hitting its knee as do so >Use a Krav Maga strike to hit it in the neck >It's still alive >"Now you've made me angry" >Pull out my swiss army knife and finish it off >Blood gets on my trench coat but I don't even care Don't mess with me

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Anon is the king | /r/Greentext

>back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it
>back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it

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Anon cant cum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat)18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my 164 KB PNG own >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?
: Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat)18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my 164 KB PNG own >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?

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Anon is grounded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG

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Anon harnesses the power of the simulation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.
Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.

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