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Anon goes to Japan | /r/Greentext

No.775068392 9 minutes ago Superthumb.jpg JPG 29.1 KIB 300x250 > Be me, 25 years old Italian guy. Living in the UK for the last 6 years. >I have been working in the same hotel for 4 years already. Its a really large hotel with over 300 workers. >Really hot girl in room service. Try to speak to her whenever I have chance. She's Polish. Really hot. 3.1416. >It's getting hard to get her attention so I've got nervous and tell her I have the cancer. It's a lie. >Only have 5 moths left to live. >Don't tell anybody I'm too shy. >l got her attention. All good. >next week I found out she told everybody and they made a fund to pay me a holiday in Japan. I told her my dream would be to live in Japan. >They got over £3000. They paid me a whole month in Japan. Starts next week. >l don't know what to do. >340 people are expecting me to die in less than 5 months. 8 replies
No.775068392 9 minutes ago Superthumb.jpg JPG 29.1 KIB 300x250 > Be me, 25 years old Italian guy. Living in the UK for the last 6 years. >I have been working in the same hotel for 4 years already. Its a really large hotel with over 300 workers. >Really hot girl in room service. Try to speak to her whenever I have chance. She's Polish. Really hot. 3.1416. >It's getting hard to get her attention so I've got nervous and tell her I have the cancer. It's a lie. >Only have 5 moths left to live. >Don't tell anybody I'm too shy. >l got her attention. All good. >next week I found out she told everybody and they made a fund to pay me a holiday in Japan. I told her my dream would be to live in Japan. >They got over £3000. They paid me a whole month in Japan. Starts next week. >l don't know what to do. >340 people are expecting me to die in less than 5 months. 8 replies

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Grandpa watching anime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)15:55:31 No.61536939 >be me, family over for Christmas Eve >grandpa comes over too, he's sort of a nerd and loves older comic books 30 KB JPG >go to my room because I want to be alone >start watching Attack on Titan and hear a knock at the door >"hey anon, whatcha up to?", it's my grandpa >decide he's nerd enough that he would get anime >start showing him attack on titan and explaining lore and showing off figures i have >he looks super interested and smiles a lot and eventually leaves >mfw later overhear him asking my mom if i have any learning disabilities
: Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)15:55:31 No.61536939 >be me, family over for Christmas Eve >grandpa comes over too, he's sort of a nerd and loves older comic books 30 KB JPG >go to my room because I want to be alone >start watching Attack on Titan and hear a knock at the door >"hey anon, whatcha up to?", it's my grandpa >decide he's nerd enough that he would get anime >start showing him attack on titan and explaining lore and showing off figures i have >he looks super interested and smiles a lot and eventually leaves >mfw later overhear him asking my mom if i have any learning disabilities

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Anon has heterosexual sex | /r/Greentext

5 Re 1 Img JPG 81KB (550 x 550) 3 Replies >be me >permavirgin >only matches on tinder are bots >change settings to look for dudes just to see the competition >didn't know this dudes we also looking for dudes so I accidentally got on the gay section >get 15 potential matches in a 10 minute span >decide to pay for tinder plus just to see the kind of guys i could date if i were gay >talk to some of them and we really get along >idea.jpg >invite the most feminine looking to my house to watch a movie >make a twitter and change my pronouns to she/her to become a female >dude comes home and I completely violently annihilate his anus >dude leaves and block him from everything >go to twitter and change my pronouns back to he/him >tfw when lost my virginity and had heterosexual sex
5 Re 1 Img JPG 81KB (550 x 550) 3 Replies >be me >permavirgin >only matches on tinder are bots >change settings to look for dudes just to see the competition >didn't know this dudes we also looking for dudes so I accidentally got on the gay section >get 15 potential matches in a 10 minute span >decide to pay for tinder plus just to see the kind of guys i could date if i were gay >talk to some of them and we really get along >idea.jpg >invite the most feminine looking to my house to watch a movie >make a twitter and change my pronouns to she/her to become a female >dude comes home and I completely violently annihilate his anus >dude leaves and block him from everything >go to twitter and change my pronouns back to he/him >tfw when lost my virginity and had heterosexual sex

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anon accelerates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)23:46:07 No.845578267 REMEMBER. >I spend hours every day on Omegle chat rooms sending horny grown men to the instagrams and Snapchat's belonging to w----- from my high school or whoever I AGGRAVATION IS ACCELERATION! feel like 161 KB JPG What do you do to accelerate?
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)23:46:07 No.845578267 REMEMBER. >I spend hours every day on Omegle chat rooms sending horny grown men to the instagrams and Snapchat's belonging to w----- from my high school or whoever I AGGRAVATION IS ACCELERATION! feel like 161 KB JPG What do you do to accelerate?

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Anon mets his neighbour | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:22:47 No.845552572 [Reply] >>845552656 >>845552722 >Be me >On my way home from work >Enter front door, push elevator button >See neighbour enter through the front door >Instead of holding it for him I press my floor's button and go up >MFW I know he has to wait for me to go up and the elevator to go back down How was your day, /bl? Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:24:27 No.845552656 >>845552572 (OP) >haha i slightly inconvenienced someone xD Is this what your life is OP? How pathetic.
O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:22:47 No.845552572 [Reply] >>845552656 >>845552722 >Be me >On my way home from work >Enter front door, push elevator button >See neighbour enter through the front door >Instead of holding it for him I press my floor's button and go up >MFW I know he has to wait for me to go up and the elevator to go back down How was your day, /bl? Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:24:27 No.845552656 >>845552572 (OP) >haha i slightly inconvenienced someone xD Is this what your life is OP? How pathetic.

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Anons dog shits Condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:55:42 No.845594888 >J------- in a condom INCREDIBLE >whatever feels different than normal >throw it away once I finish >put it at the bottom of the trash so ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL no one sees 243 KB JPG >next day >come home from work and trash is all over my room floor >oh f--- >my dog mustť've gone through the trash >frantically pick up trash >condom is no where to be found Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:57:41 No.845595026 >>845594888 (OP) # If it did, it will be s------- it out soon. How do you explain to your mom that a condom is coming out of the dog's ass?
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:55:42 No.845594888 >J------- in a condom INCREDIBLE >whatever feels different than normal >throw it away once I finish >put it at the bottom of the trash so ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL no one sees 243 KB JPG >next day >come home from work and trash is all over my room floor >oh f--- >my dog mustť've gone through the trash >frantically pick up trash >condom is no where to be found Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:57:41 No.845595026 >>845594888 (OP) # If it did, it will be s------- it out soon. How do you explain to your mom that a condom is coming out of the dog's ass?

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Anon must continue his bloodline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho 14 KB PNG >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho 14 KB PNG >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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anons uncle went to school with biden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CM+RPH C) E 01/24/21(Sun)01:18:45 No.304755735 America is done Tast hope of the west numales voter fraud IMSM WW3 women smeal CTR MAnA AKE AMERKA GREAT AGAIN stal we're f----- (((democracy)) cuckservatives secede revolution Tm moving to based poland Texit when? MAKR Gn Soros rigged voting machines biden.jpg 107 KB JPG >uncle went to elementary school with Joe Biden >everyday Biden refused to trade his snack pack with my uncle at lunch You guys elected the literal devil as president. Hope you can live with that. 石口口
: Anonymous (ID: CM+RPH C) E 01/24/21(Sun)01:18:45 No.304755735 America is done Tast hope of the west numales voter fraud IMSM WW3 women smeal CTR MAnA AKE AMERKA GREAT AGAIN stal we're f----- (((democracy)) cuckservatives secede revolution Tm moving to based poland Texit when? MAKR Gn Soros rigged voting machines biden.jpg 107 KB JPG >uncle went to elementary school with Joe Biden >everyday Biden refused to trade his snack pack with my uncle at lunch You guys elected the literal devil as president. Hope you can live with that. 石口口

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Anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon becomes a homo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:13:30 No.845613011 >be me >get ass blasted by a massive thunder c--- >c-- pouring down to my balls >go home >in bed >realise I forgot to say no h--- 82 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:13:30 No.845613011 >be me >get ass blasted by a massive thunder c--- >c-- pouring down to my balls >go home >in bed >realise I forgot to say no h--- 82 KB JPG

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anon finds a mystery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21 (Sat)21:56:21 No.845603535 *CONCERN* >live alone >work from home for past year due to covid >only human contact is when i O buy groceries >today 62 KB JPG >fart >feels wet >pull down pants to inspect >mfw it looks like i shat out globs of c-- Od...how did that get in there?
: Anonymous 01/23/21 (Sat)21:56:21 No.845603535 *CONCERN* >live alone >work from home for past year due to covid >only human contact is when i O buy groceries >today 62 KB JPG >fart >feels wet >pull down pants to inspect >mfw it looks like i shat out globs of c-- Od...how did that get in there?

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Anon leaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/17(Mon)14:45:09 No.35829949 >playing WoW >inspect another player >their current target changes to me >knows I'm inspecting his gear >mfw 76 KB JPG >log off and delete character That was close
: Anonymous 03/27/17(Mon)14:45:09 No.35829949 >playing WoW >inspect another player >their current target changes to me >knows I'm inspecting his gear >mfw 76 KB JPG >log off and delete character That was close

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anon has to date a pig | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)01:45:46 No.61986574 >>61985360 (OP) # >mom actually did this with one of her coworkers because they're family friends and called in a favor I guess >same spiel about the girl >think f--- it worst case scenario I just leave and maybe this will work out >show up and she's 300lbs or more easily >smells like she doesn't change her bed sheets or wash her clothes in a house where the cats pee anywhere and like she hadn't showered >hair makes me think she hadn't showered prior because its entirely unstyled or combed and it's just matted down and swept back at the temples like she's been wearing headphones all day >teeth are visibly rotting and you can smell her breathe even from across a table >I watch anime but I am not an anime addict or something but try and use that as some sort of a conversation starter >she proceeds to go on some crazy rant about card captors for the next 30 minutes about how it's the "perfect" anime and starts trying to give me a "quick rundown" on it >no has even come to take our orders yet for some f----- up reason so I don't even have access to alcohol or anything to drown the experience out >say f--- it and tell her this just isn't working out and I was just gonna go >mom is p----- at 25 year old me the guy just can't cut and run on the girl like that it's not right etc >makes me call her work friend to apologize >worm friend is much more accepting of my actions and seems to understand my position on the matter >angry that they'd even try this on me and say something like "what makes you think l'd want to date someone like that even" or something >work friend just laughs and says guys don't really get to be choosers and l'll figure that out when I'm older or something like I'm a teen and not a grown ass man complete with career, salary, my own place, etc. >every so often see coworker friend at some family event and she keeps trying to pass her daughter by me as a dating option who I later find out was 37 at the time of that date attempt >>61987170 # >>61989883 #
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)01:45:46 No.61986574 >>61985360 (OP) # >mom actually did this with one of her coworkers because they're family friends and called in a favor I guess >same spiel about the girl >think f--- it worst case scenario I just leave and maybe this will work out >show up and she's 300lbs or more easily >smells like she doesn't change her bed sheets or wash her clothes in a house where the cats pee anywhere and like she hadn't showered >hair makes me think she hadn't showered prior because its entirely unstyled or combed and it's just matted down and swept back at the temples like she's been wearing headphones all day >teeth are visibly rotting and you can smell her breathe even from across a table >I watch anime but I am not an anime addict or something but try and use that as some sort of a conversation starter >she proceeds to go on some crazy rant about card captors for the next 30 minutes about how it's the "perfect" anime and starts trying to give me a "quick rundown" on it >no has even come to take our orders yet for some f----- up reason so I don't even have access to alcohol or anything to drown the experience out >say f--- it and tell her this just isn't working out and I was just gonna go >mom is p----- at 25 year old me the guy just can't cut and run on the girl like that it's not right etc >makes me call her work friend to apologize >worm friend is much more accepting of my actions and seems to understand my position on the matter >angry that they'd even try this on me and say something like "what makes you think l'd want to date someone like that even" or something >work friend just laughs and says guys don't really get to be choosers and l'll figure that out when I'm older or something like I'm a teen and not a grown ass man complete with career, salary, my own place, etc. >every so often see coworker friend at some family event and she keeps trying to pass her daughter by me as a dating option who I later find out was 37 at the time of that date attempt >>61987170 # >>61989883 #

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Anon lucid dreams | /r/Greentext

>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >I can lucid dream >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say “I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say “I used to be President" | immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >I have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night l'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes
>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >I can lucid dream >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say “I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say “I used to be President" | immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >I have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night l'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes

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anon takes a dick pic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21 (Sat)19:19:02 No.845592429 39b1b5211eac282d6fb09d098b6566497d7a229eafd7baaa93b94 7 KB JPG >dating girl >only been together for a few months >she hasn't seen my ween yet >wants me to take a d--- pic & send it >take it and send it to her >mfw she reports me to the cops for sending child p--- I took the picture like far away, thats why it looks small.
: Anonymous 01/23/21 (Sat)19:19:02 No.845592429 39b1b5211eac282d6fb09d098b6566497d7a229eafd7baaa93b94 7 KB JPG >dating girl >only been together for a few months >she hasn't seen my ween yet >wants me to take a d--- pic & send it >take it and send it to her >mfw she reports me to the cops for sending child p--- I took the picture like far away, thats why it looks small.

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Anon gets banned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: PEPIQ1kv 01/23/21(Sat)16:48:44 No.304705473 IGN 00 @IGN Microsoft has filed a patent that would allow the company to digitally revive deceased loved ones as chatbots, using the individual's "images, voice data, social media posts, electronic messages" and more. bit.ly/2M7fCU9 Screenshot_20210123-164800.png 292 KB PNG >tfw banned for posthumous racism
: Anonymous (ID: PEPIQ1kv 01/23/21(Sat)16:48:44 No.304705473 IGN 00 @IGN Microsoft has filed a patent that would allow the company to digitally revive deceased loved ones as chatbots, using the individual's "images, voice data, social media posts, electronic messages" and more. bit.ly/2M7fCU9 Screenshot_20210123-164800.png 292 KB PNG >tfw banned for posthumous racism

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Anon is living life to the fullest | /r/Greentext

>sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?
>sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?

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Anon has a grandfather | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)03:07:57 No.845537222 >Be me, young >Used to hang out with gramps all of the time. Spending the night at his house and s--- like that >He molested me every single night when I didnt even know what was happening was bad. >He made me promise not to tell anyone what we were doing, and me wanting to be a good grandson, oblige. >He got caught when somebody in the family caught him with my cousin who was maybe a year older than me >None of my siblings and I knew what happened for a 1.01 MB JPG while, just that we couldn't see he >ffw >Be around 12 >Learn what he did was wrong and why it's wrong >The amount of shame and guilt that shovels onto me is insane, and I still feel it to this day. >fww 1 year >Mom takes all of us to go see gramps for lunch because we hadn't see him in a while >Keep the facade going >He slowly becomes a part of the family more and more >See him more often and even spend the night again(he dosent touch me) >I finally think that this man has changed >Go on a trip to detroit >When we get back, he says to me "Can I ask you something? Dont be mad" >l say sure >He asks "Can we have what we used to have?" >Time stops >My vision goes red >All of this time, this whole thing was a ploy >l almost erupt in anger, throwing him down the flight of stairs we're talking on top of >l manage to suppress it all and calmly answer "No" >few months later >We argue over something, cant remember what. All I know Is it was bad enough for me to bring up what he did to me >"How dare you use that against me" >I honestly dont know how I didnt strangle him to death in that exact moment. No idea how I didnt mash his head to death in the fridge. No idea, how I let that coward walk away with breath in his lungs. Things have gone normally in life up until the making of this post. Everything is okay, I have told a few select people about what's happened, but that's it. My parents and siblings dont know. No one in my family know about it. Am I a bad person /b?
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)03:07:57 No.845537222 >Be me, young >Used to hang out with gramps all of the time. Spending the night at his house and s--- like that >He molested me every single night when I didnt even know what was happening was bad. >He made me promise not to tell anyone what we were doing, and me wanting to be a good grandson, oblige. >He got caught when somebody in the family caught him with my cousin who was maybe a year older than me >None of my siblings and I knew what happened for a 1.01 MB JPG while, just that we couldn't see he >ffw >Be around 12 >Learn what he did was wrong and why it's wrong >The amount of shame and guilt that shovels onto me is insane, and I still feel it to this day. >fww 1 year >Mom takes all of us to go see gramps for lunch because we hadn't see him in a while >Keep the facade going >He slowly becomes a part of the family more and more >See him more often and even spend the night again(he dosent touch me) >I finally think that this man has changed >Go on a trip to detroit >When we get back, he says to me "Can I ask you something? Dont be mad" >l say sure >He asks "Can we have what we used to have?" >Time stops >My vision goes red >All of this time, this whole thing was a ploy >l almost erupt in anger, throwing him down the flight of stairs we're talking on top of >l manage to suppress it all and calmly answer "No" >few months later >We argue over something, cant remember what. All I know Is it was bad enough for me to bring up what he did to me >"How dare you use that against me" >I honestly dont know how I didnt strangle him to death in that exact moment. No idea how I didnt mash his head to death in the fridge. No idea, how I let that coward walk away with breath in his lungs. Things have gone normally in life up until the making of this post. Everything is okay, I have told a few select people about what's happened, but that's it. My parents and siblings dont know. No one in my family know about it. Am I a bad person /b?

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We got a runner on /pol/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ANXFDHTC 01/23/21 (Sat)17:15:12 No.304690890 >stop taking schizophrenia meds >few day later dog starts talking to me in ancient sumerian telling those pills are brain washing me I knew it! The goverment is just trying to keep us dumb. Fellow 54 KB JPG /pol/ smokers who are also 'schizophrenic' alex jones is right. They are trying to control us. Like my garbage disposal just said >they are trying to keep you down. Now...stick your d--- in me before 'they' take you away No more!!
: Anonymous (ID: ANXFDHTC 01/23/21 (Sat)17:15:12 No.304690890 >stop taking schizophrenia meds >few day later dog starts talking to me in ancient sumerian telling those pills are brain washing me I knew it! The goverment is just trying to keep us dumb. Fellow 54 KB JPG /pol/ smokers who are also 'schizophrenic' alex jones is right. They are trying to control us. Like my garbage disposal just said >they are trying to keep you down. Now...stick your d--- in me before 'they' take you away No more!!

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anon gets a new car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:23:43 No.845580556 >be me >go to nissan dealership >get them to let me test drive a 2021 Versa >leave lot and drive home 29 KB JPG >put license plates from 2014 versa onto new one The f--- they gonna do?
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:23:43 No.845580556 >be me >go to nissan dealership >get them to let me test drive a 2021 Versa >leave lot and drive home 29 KB JPG >put license plates from 2014 versa onto new one The f--- they gonna do?

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