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Anon is starving | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)18:50:16 No.845008947 >Be me >See total Asian QT >10/10 >Giant Milkers and a great ass >Work up courage to go ask her out >She says yes 89 KB JPG >Date comes and I make her dinner at my dad place >After dinners done we start making out >Take off my shirt and reach for her t--- >Wait anon please stop l'm not ready yet >l back off and say I understand >Wake up from dream and cry that even in my sleep I won't get laid Why does this happen to me, why can't I be a degenerate in my sleep
: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)18:50:16 No.845008947 >Be me >See total Asian QT >10/10 >Giant Milkers and a great ass >Work up courage to go ask her out >She says yes 89 KB JPG >Date comes and I make her dinner at my dad place >After dinners done we start making out >Take off my shirt and reach for her t--- >Wait anon please stop l'm not ready yet >l back off and say I understand >Wake up from dream and cry that even in my sleep I won't get laid Why does this happen to me, why can't I be a degenerate in my sleep

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Anon's meaning of embarressmant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/20/12(Thu)19:30:01 No.25940361 You nerds don't know the meaning of embarrassment. Let me enlighten you. >be in the third grade at a school assembly >have to s--- real bad, feeling ill and feverish >we all get seated on the gym floor >holy f--- Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets' NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets) >still have to s--- so bad that I'm having cold sweats >wearing gym shorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man) >Hugo the Hormet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting them back down >starting to feel dizzy from holding my s--- >see him walking my way >he's coming RIGHT FOR ME >he picks me up and begins to flip me over >he's squeezing my gut >as l'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through air gracefully >start screaming >gets all over Hugo and sprays all over other kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well >Hugo then drops me on my f------ head, into a pile of my own s---, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE F---" >Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor. >the music has stopped, the room is dead silent >assume the fetal position >covered in my own s--- and can't stop farting/s------- as I lay there >start crying >pass out >wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at distance >the tiny breathable holes in my gym shorts work like a s--- colander, leaking s--- water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts >pass out again From then on I was "The kid who s--- on Hugo the Hornet".
Anonymous 09/20/12(Thu)19:30:01 No.25940361 You nerds don't know the meaning of embarrassment. Let me enlighten you. >be in the third grade at a school assembly >have to s--- real bad, feeling ill and feverish >we all get seated on the gym floor >holy f--- Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets' NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets) >still have to s--- so bad that I'm having cold sweats >wearing gym shorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man) >Hugo the Hormet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting them back down >starting to feel dizzy from holding my s--- >see him walking my way >he's coming RIGHT FOR ME >he picks me up and begins to flip me over >he's squeezing my gut >as l'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through air gracefully >start screaming >gets all over Hugo and sprays all over other kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well >Hugo then drops me on my f------ head, into a pile of my own s---, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE F---" >Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor. >the music has stopped, the room is dead silent >assume the fetal position >covered in my own s--- and can't stop farting/s------- as I lay there >start crying >pass out >wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at distance >the tiny breathable holes in my gym shorts work like a s--- colander, leaking s--- water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts >pass out again From then on I was "The kid who s--- on Hugo the Hornet".

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Anon meets a girl at a party | /r/Greentext

File : 1310210340.jpg-(59 KB, 555x211, asuras wrath.jpg) Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:19 No.101849376 > be 18 > meet cute girl at friend's party > she's all over me for some reason > some of the stuff she says seems sketchy, like looking for a soulmate and s--- > whatever, she has great t--- and im drunk as balls > f--- yeah she starts making out with me > we look for some privacy > yeah laundryroom seems fine > gives me a bj > takes off her panties and says she wants it > we start to f--- > pretty tight, not a virgin but watev s--- is cash > start slamming her > she wraps her legs around me and begs me to c-- inside > not sure if want > she says she's on the pill > fuckyeah.jpg > splort inside, feels good man > after I pull out she starts pushing j--- back into her p---- > seems hot but I'm like wat > she tells me she was lying about being on the pill > wants to get pregnant so l'll stay with her forever > I flip the f--- out > Enter BEASTMODE > Hit her in the stomach with a lightning screw uppercut > It crits her uterus so hard it bursts > She starts throwing up blood >I autochain into a sick 45 hit combo > She smashes through the laundryroom wall and onto some people at the party > Channel my ki into Lv.3 Final Crusher Blast > Obliterates the house > No survivors > 1200 xp, Style S+ Skill S+ Damage S+ > F--- given rating 0.0% Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:20 No.101849471 File1310210439.jpg-(90 KB, 333x500, Ainsley.jpg) OH F--- I LAUGHED SO HARD >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:25 No.101849750 File1310210710.jpg-(6 KB, 236x285, bateman shocked.jpg) >>101849376 >l autochain into a sick 45 hit combo haven't laughed this hard in a while. stay classy, Ivl O DRUG WIZARD 07/09/11(Sat)07:27 No.101849865 File1310210832.png-(133 KB, 373x411, REACTION IMAGE.png) >A slick 45 kick combo Great thread OP
File : 1310210340.jpg-(59 KB, 555x211, asuras wrath.jpg) Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:19 No.101849376 > be 18 > meet cute girl at friend's party > she's all over me for some reason > some of the stuff she says seems sketchy, like looking for a soulmate and s--- > whatever, she has great t--- and im drunk as balls > f--- yeah she starts making out with me > we look for some privacy > yeah laundryroom seems fine > gives me a bj > takes off her panties and says she wants it > we start to f--- > pretty tight, not a virgin but watev s--- is cash > start slamming her > she wraps her legs around me and begs me to c-- inside > not sure if want > she says she's on the pill > fuckyeah.jpg > splort inside, feels good man > after I pull out she starts pushing j--- back into her p---- > seems hot but I'm like wat > she tells me she was lying about being on the pill > wants to get pregnant so l'll stay with her forever > I flip the f--- out > Enter BEASTMODE > Hit her in the stomach with a lightning screw uppercut > It crits her uterus so hard it bursts > She starts throwing up blood >I autochain into a sick 45 hit combo > She smashes through the laundryroom wall and onto some people at the party > Channel my ki into Lv.3 Final Crusher Blast > Obliterates the house > No survivors > 1200 xp, Style S+ Skill S+ Damage S+ > F--- given rating 0.0% Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:20 No.101849471 File1310210439.jpg-(90 KB, 333x500, Ainsley.jpg) OH F--- I LAUGHED SO HARD >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:25 No.101849750 File1310210710.jpg-(6 KB, 236x285, bateman shocked.jpg) >>101849376 >l autochain into a sick 45 hit combo haven't laughed this hard in a while. stay classy, Ivl O DRUG WIZARD 07/09/11(Sat)07:27 No.101849865 File1310210832.png-(133 KB, 373x411, REACTION IMAGE.png) >A slick 45 kick combo Great thread OP

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Anon's being a single father | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/08/12(Sun)20:01:25 No.410969229 >be a single father >find a sploof under my 15 year old son's bed >not surprised that he's smoking weed >see him and his friend come home once with clearly bloodshot eyes >remember reading here once about how a parent intentionally caught his son smoking weed, pretended to freak out and then smoked it right in front of him >think this would be a laugh and decide to replicate it >I go out every Saturday night and his friend is always there before I leave so I assume that's when they smoke weed >tell them I'm leaving, drive off, park the car one block away and then walk back to the house >slowly enter through the back door and move my way towards his room quiet as a mouse >approaching his door I can smell the weed and get ready to go in >pull open the door really fast and I see my son sucking his friends d--- >close door immediately and go lay on my bed for the rest of the night traumatized >still haven't talked to him since then >mfw
Anonymous 07/08/12(Sun)20:01:25 No.410969229 >be a single father >find a sploof under my 15 year old son's bed >not surprised that he's smoking weed >see him and his friend come home once with clearly bloodshot eyes >remember reading here once about how a parent intentionally caught his son smoking weed, pretended to freak out and then smoked it right in front of him >think this would be a laugh and decide to replicate it >I go out every Saturday night and his friend is always there before I leave so I assume that's when they smoke weed >tell them I'm leaving, drive off, park the car one block away and then walk back to the house >slowly enter through the back door and move my way towards his room quiet as a mouse >approaching his door I can smell the weed and get ready to go in >pull open the door really fast and I see my son sucking his friends d--- >close door immediately and go lay on my bed for the rest of the night traumatized >still haven't talked to him since then >mfw

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Anon is mannish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon's trip to the bible camp | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:44 No.335695449 >be 15 >in a bible camp >girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the sports field >I go up to her and ask if she's ok >she say yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored not being able to play >I get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys are in separate areas) asking if I wanna meet at sunset >meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesn't seem broken >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off, undress, and f--- her >it's really hard to control her legs while I'm on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >see camp leaders coming close, I say “F---, run" and run away >mfw I later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came around
Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:44 No.335695449 >be 15 >in a bible camp >girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the sports field >I go up to her and ask if she's ok >she say yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored not being able to play >I get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys are in separate areas) asking if I wanna meet at sunset >meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesn't seem broken >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off, undress, and f--- her >it's really hard to control her legs while I'm on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >see camp leaders coming close, I say “F---, run" and run away >mfw I later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came around

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Anons trick to staying healthy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)01:02:32 No.820781208 >Rarely ever get sick >People think I just have a good immune system >Actually just pick my nose and eat it >Boogers and snot is full of dead bacteria, germs, and dirt >My body learns to fight off these threats 186 KB PNG without actually being infected >It's like a yummy little flu shot by mouth >mfw no one knows I'm a dirty booger eater 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)01:02:32 No.820781208 >Rarely ever get sick >People think I just have a good immune system >Actually just pick my nose and eat it >Boogers and snot is full of dead bacteria, germs, and dirt >My body learns to fight off these threats 186 KB PNG without actually being infected >It's like a yummy little flu shot by mouth >mfw no one knows I'm a dirty booger eater 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon's love story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/14(Tue)18:02:51 No.26920121 >>26917873 >when she asks if you want the receipt, say only if her number is on it or something else cheesy Oh s---, this reminded me of a time when I crossed the autism threshold. Storytime. >usually buy my weekly groceries at the same store >there's this maybe 7-8/10, not perfect but cute cashier >she's always smiling at me and making small talk and s--- >finally realize that she's not just being nice >she's mirin hard >gather all my courage and go to the store again >buy my usual stuff and pick her line >she offers me the receipt >"How about you write your number on it?" >she blushes bright red, writes down her number >I smile and say l'll call her >l'm so euphoric I'm not thinking right >l don't usually hold on to receipts >I glance at the receipt, crumple it and toss it in the trash bin by the door in full view from her >panic and just walk out >too embarrassed to ever go to that store again
Anonymous 06/03/14(Tue)18:02:51 No.26920121 >>26917873 >when she asks if you want the receipt, say only if her number is on it or something else cheesy Oh s---, this reminded me of a time when I crossed the autism threshold. Storytime. >usually buy my weekly groceries at the same store >there's this maybe 7-8/10, not perfect but cute cashier >she's always smiling at me and making small talk and s--- >finally realize that she's not just being nice >she's mirin hard >gather all my courage and go to the store again >buy my usual stuff and pick her line >she offers me the receipt >"How about you write your number on it?" >she blushes bright red, writes down her number >I smile and say l'll call her >l'm so euphoric I'm not thinking right >l don't usually hold on to receipts >I glance at the receipt, crumple it and toss it in the trash bin by the door in full view from her >panic and just walk out >too embarrassed to ever go to that store again

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Friends in low places | /r/Greentext

File: zoo.jpg (69 KB, 750x807) | Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams 244 KB PNG "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zo0 >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)11:19:28 No.61889752 [Reply] >see this greentext >immediate reminded of a similar moment I had at the zoo like 2 or 3 years ago >felt like going to the zoo to see some animals >get to the monkey area >there's a guy with a bluetooth speaker playing Tiesto, Oliver Heldens - The Right Song and bobbing his head to it >monkeys are interesting >he starts screaming "WOO00O0" >monkeys go ape s--- >they all start screaming and then the guy starts going nuts too Which one of you was this? I know it was one of you retards
File: zoo.jpg (69 KB, 750x807) | Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams 244 KB PNG "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zo0 >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)11:19:28 No.61889752 [Reply] >see this greentext >immediate reminded of a similar moment I had at the zoo like 2 or 3 years ago >felt like going to the zoo to see some animals >get to the monkey area >there's a guy with a bluetooth speaker playing Tiesto, Oliver Heldens - The Right Song and bobbing his head to it >monkeys are interesting >he starts screaming "WOO00O0" >monkeys go ape s--- >they all start screaming and then the guy starts going nuts too Which one of you was this? I know it was one of you retards

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Anon discovers a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)22:09:41 No.844876519 rs_600x600-181206100517-600-beauty-andt-he-beast-tokyo- disneyland-2-120618.jpg| 60 KB JPG >Disney builds new beauty and the beast ride >amazing life-like animatronics >took them years to build >they move just like real humans >it's almost like they're part of the real world All I can think about is how bad I want to have sex with the Belle animatronic, what the f--- wrong with me
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)22:09:41 No.844876519 rs_600x600-181206100517-600-beauty-andt-he-beast-tokyo- disneyland-2-120618.jpg| 60 KB JPG >Disney builds new beauty and the beast ride >amazing life-like animatronics >took them years to build >they move just like real humans >it's almost like they're part of the real world All I can think about is how bad I want to have sex with the Belle animatronic, what the f--- wrong with me

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Anon at the beach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.
Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.

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Anon gets on Pluto | /r/Greentext

>be me >up all night watching the telly >roll a joint and watch the Jeremy Kyle I recorded >retard.jpeg >accidently recorded some show for wee kids >the host is a woman >birds like "Get a cardboard box and build a spaceship with me" >we're doing this. >l pause the show, put out the joint, and crash out my gaff >I finally come back with a huge cardboard box; the kind you can make a real spaceship fae >hit play and focus on the rest of the show >we're about to lift off in the spaceship me and the bird on TV >suddenly the edibles kick in >No need to go to the moon, I'm already on Pluto
>be me >up all night watching the telly >roll a joint and watch the Jeremy Kyle I recorded >retard.jpeg >accidently recorded some show for wee kids >the host is a woman >birds like "Get a cardboard box and build a spaceship with me" >we're doing this. >l pause the show, put out the joint, and crash out my gaff >I finally come back with a huge cardboard box; the kind you can make a real spaceship fae >hit play and focus on the rest of the show >we're about to lift off in the spaceship me and the bird on TV >suddenly the edibles kick in >No need to go to the moon, I'm already on Pluto

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Fucking boomers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: znyA98M 09/11/19(Wed)13:59:20 No.226234236 >Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke 26 KB JPG >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies / 34 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: znyA98M 09/11/19(Wed)13:59:20 No.226234236 >Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke 26 KB JPG >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies / 34 Images View Thread

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Anon is Palestinian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >screaming and loud noises >goes out to check >some dudes in military uniform demolishing houses >gets panicked 110 KB JPG >throws rocks on giant bulldozer >receives 5.56
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >screaming and loud noises >goes out to check >some dudes in military uniform demolishing houses >gets panicked 110 KB JPG >throws rocks on giant bulldozer >receives 5.56

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Anon finds a cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/25/13(Wed)01:28:41 No.507775568 >Be me >14 >Socially awkward teenager >Don't have too many friends except for this kid Henry >Somehow even more socially 140 KB JPG awkward than me >We like to wonder the alleys on the southside of Chicago >We're not black, but usually people can tell we live in the hood so no troubles >One day we see this really cute alley cat strolling around >cat looks emaciated as f--- >we're young and assume it's a stray with no owner >But wait, kitties got a collar >Tag on the collar says "love" >We think its gay and at the insistence of Henry, we call him F--. > I know that's pretty lame, but we're 14 >take f-- under our wing >We feed him, stroll the alleys, etc >One day we are walking with f-- >Suddenly realize we're in the same alley that we found him in >Big black dude comes outside >Pistol in his waste >Oh f--- >"Whatchu doin' with my cat?" >Cat runs behind me and Henry >Stupid ass Henry says "F-- is with us now!" >"What? You callin my cat a f--?!" >l'm panicking. "Henry you f------ idiot" >Next thing I know >BANG >Blood is streaming out of my chest >With my last breaths I yell at Henry >"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" >"YOU GAVE LOVE, A BAD NAME.
Anonymous 09/25/13(Wed)01:28:41 No.507775568 >Be me >14 >Socially awkward teenager >Don't have too many friends except for this kid Henry >Somehow even more socially 140 KB JPG awkward than me >We like to wonder the alleys on the southside of Chicago >We're not black, but usually people can tell we live in the hood so no troubles >One day we see this really cute alley cat strolling around >cat looks emaciated as f--- >we're young and assume it's a stray with no owner >But wait, kitties got a collar >Tag on the collar says "love" >We think its gay and at the insistence of Henry, we call him F--. > I know that's pretty lame, but we're 14 >take f-- under our wing >We feed him, stroll the alleys, etc >One day we are walking with f-- >Suddenly realize we're in the same alley that we found him in >Big black dude comes outside >Pistol in his waste >Oh f--- >"Whatchu doin' with my cat?" >Cat runs behind me and Henry >Stupid ass Henry says "F-- is with us now!" >"What? You callin my cat a f--?!" >l'm panicking. "Henry you f------ idiot" >Next thing I know >BANG >Blood is streaming out of my chest >With my last breaths I yell at Henry >"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" >"YOU GAVE LOVE, A BAD NAME.

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Anon searches for love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BPD Feels 01/15/21(Fri)18:00:48 No.61875940 >dump my first boyfriend for another guy >dump my second boyfriend for another guy >dump my third boyfriend for another guy >dump my fourth boyfriend for another guy 30 KB JPG >dump my fifth boyfriend for another guy >planning to soon dump boyfriend number five for boyfriend number six I wish this was just a troll, but I have really done this. I am the walking embodiment of chaos. 27 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous BPD Feels 01/15/21(Fri)18:00:48 No.61875940 >dump my first boyfriend for another guy >dump my second boyfriend for another guy >dump my third boyfriend for another guy >dump my fourth boyfriend for another guy 30 KB JPG >dump my fifth boyfriend for another guy >planning to soon dump boyfriend number five for boyfriend number six I wish this was just a troll, but I have really done this. I am the walking embodiment of chaos. 27 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon wants some karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)12:43:11 No.844951513 I'm tired of all the p---. Can we start a greentext thread? 10 KB PNG 13 Replies / 9 Images View Thread onymous 01/16/21(Sat)13:20:43 No.844953857 >Be me >Redditfag >Pretend to be ordinary 4channer who is tired of the p--- >Really just want that sweet, sweet karma 263 KB JPG >forgot that 4chan users have lost all their dignity and cares >fatalmistake.mused >Others on the board notice >make fun of me through derogatory green texts >Reddit-shaming greentexts are already all over r/greentext and not funny anymore, can't use it >Be ME, Redditor >type this comment >why
: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)12:43:11 No.844951513 I'm tired of all the p---. Can we start a greentext thread? 10 KB PNG 13 Replies / 9 Images View Thread onymous 01/16/21(Sat)13:20:43 No.844953857 >Be me >Redditfag >Pretend to be ordinary 4channer who is tired of the p--- >Really just want that sweet, sweet karma 263 KB JPG >forgot that 4chan users have lost all their dignity and cares >fatalmistake.mused >Others on the board notice >make fun of me through derogatory green texts >Reddit-shaming greentexts are already all over r/greentext and not funny anymore, can't use it >Be ME, Redditor >type this comment >why

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Anon visits America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:44:20 No.61884559 >travel to the US for work >sick days are limited, you are only allowed to be sick a certain amount of times a year >American flags everywhere >Sales tax not included in price >prescription drug adverts on tv and 49 KB JPG billboards all the time >entire cities designed around cars >restroom stalls have wide gaps for no f------ reason >Everyone is exremely loud >rent is extremely expensive for low quality apartments >Every other person has visibly horrible hygiene >walmart sells rifles >lack of small family businesses, there are like thirty of every megacorporate business that set shop on every corner >supermarkets have mobility scooters for some reason >waiters shove special offers in my face >I have to tip them because they aren't paid enough to live >no one is paid enough to live, more homeless people than there should be >My neighbor is really into death grips >gratuitous violence on tv but nudity is shunned >Colleague told me that as children, you all have to stand up and pledge your allegiance to your nation everyday at the start of class >mfw can't because covid Americans, how do you people live like this?
: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:44:20 No.61884559 >travel to the US for work >sick days are limited, you are only allowed to be sick a certain amount of times a year >American flags everywhere >Sales tax not included in price >prescription drug adverts on tv and 49 KB JPG billboards all the time >entire cities designed around cars >restroom stalls have wide gaps for no f------ reason >Everyone is exremely loud >rent is extremely expensive for low quality apartments >Every other person has visibly horrible hygiene >walmart sells rifles >lack of small family businesses, there are like thirty of every megacorporate business that set shop on every corner >supermarkets have mobility scooters for some reason >waiters shove special offers in my face >I have to tip them because they aren't paid enough to live >no one is paid enough to live, more homeless people than there should be >My neighbor is really into death grips >gratuitous violence on tv but nudity is shunned >Colleague told me that as children, you all have to stand up and pledge your allegiance to your nation everyday at the start of class >mfw can't because covid Americans, how do you people live like this?

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anon goes for a jog | /r/Greentext

File: 1486194118578.png (9 KB, 338x339) O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:04:55 No.61700253 [Reply] > >>61700531 >randomly lock eyes with q.t 6.28 while on my daily jog >she smiles at me >without changing my facial expression, turn 90 degrees and continue my walk >realize what happened 2 seconds later and go back, but she's gone >walk around the park for another 15 minutes before i accept in my heart of hearts that she's gone and i blew it why must I be so slow >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:06:31 No.61700270 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:09:17 No.61700294 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:21:50 No.61700418 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:28:34 No.61700490 ► >> O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:33:07 No.61700531 ► >>61700253 (OP) >be stacy >see pathetic incel trying to self improve >feel sorry for him >realize hes staring at me like a r----- >give him a pity smile so he wont try to r--- me >he does some funny sperg move and makes an ass of himself >jog away as fast as I can to avoid the creepy ugly jogging incel who is trying to stalk me now
File: 1486194118578.png (9 KB, 338x339) O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:04:55 No.61700253 [Reply] > >>61700531 >randomly lock eyes with q.t 6.28 while on my daily jog >she smiles at me >without changing my facial expression, turn 90 degrees and continue my walk >realize what happened 2 seconds later and go back, but she's gone >walk around the park for another 15 minutes before i accept in my heart of hearts that she's gone and i blew it why must I be so slow >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:06:31 No.61700270 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:09:17 No.61700294 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:21:50 No.61700418 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:28:34 No.61700490 ► >> O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:33:07 No.61700531 ► >>61700253 (OP) >be stacy >see pathetic incel trying to self improve >feel sorry for him >realize hes staring at me like a r----- >give him a pity smile so he wont try to r--- me >he does some funny sperg move and makes an ass of himself >jog away as fast as I can to avoid the creepy ugly jogging incel who is trying to stalk me now

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leaf color text, booga be like | /r/Greentext

File: 73524352342.png (591 KB, 431x673) O Anonymous 01/12/20(Sun)15:03:39 No.818303487 >be me >chilling in my cave eating fresh mammoth >just f----- my caveman gf s--- was berry af >hear some dumbass sapiens outside >walk out with my bigass club and be like "ooga booga" >scare the s--- out of puny ass sapiens >they start speaking their complex s----- languages >pretty sure they ask me if I wanted to join their s----- civilization or something >Imao no >refuse and scream at them in chimp tongue like our ancestors >they are visibly frightened >"heh." >time to deal the finishing blow >"sapien, more like h----sapien" >laugh and scream while banging my club on the ground and beating my chest >they say something in stupid dumbass civilized tongue and leave >go back in cave and finish mammoth painting familiar, it me face when
File: 73524352342.png (591 KB, 431x673) O Anonymous 01/12/20(Sun)15:03:39 No.818303487 >be me >chilling in my cave eating fresh mammoth >just f----- my caveman gf s--- was berry af >hear some dumbass sapiens outside >walk out with my bigass club and be like "ooga booga" >scare the s--- out of puny ass sapiens >they start speaking their complex s----- languages >pretty sure they ask me if I wanted to join their s----- civilization or something >Imao no >refuse and scream at them in chimp tongue like our ancestors >they are visibly frightened >"heh." >time to deal the finishing blow >"sapien, more like h----sapien" >laugh and scream while banging my club on the ground and beating my chest >they say something in stupid dumbass civilized tongue and leave >go back in cave and finish mammoth painting familiar, it me face when

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