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File: tomb of the unknown ipg (66 KB, 720x672) Veterans Day Thread Anonymous 11/11/14(Tue)10:13:12 No.23558584 >>23558639 >>23558971 >>23559000 23559070 23559261 23559725 23560055>23560061 23560075 23563549 2356377 23563860 23563940 23564206 Today we remember and honor our veterans in the USA to do this tell the stories of your grandfathers, fathers, your friends, and yourselves experiences in war >grampy >be OSS agent >speak 9 languages fluently >get sent to vichiy france >get german officers hammered on peppermint shnapps and get them to tell troop movement plans and other stuff >obtain intelligence and loose women >give to OSS command >sucessful assignment >grandpa loved schnapps till the day he died >grandpa is reassigned to morocco >go mark to mark the location of mines outside marrakesh and find nazis in the desert with recon team >nazis mined the river >see beddouin looking guy on camel who is shaking his hands and motioning for grandpa to come over to him >grandpa tries to talk to him through minefield >cant understand him >guy may have important intelligence >grandpa and his buddy park jeep, take minesweepers out and walk through partially marked minefield, then cross waist deep river, and walk through unmakred mine field with minesweeper to try and talk to camel jockey >grandpa tried to use all 9 languages swhen grandpa tries hebrew the guy gets all excite >takes grandpa and guy to the mountians >they go into cave full of dirty and starving people >camel man gets group elder >group elder says "shalom" to grampy >they speak in hebrew to each other, turns out the nazis mined the only source of water and their mines were blowing up their camels they gave the army the positions of the nazi troops in exchange for nothing >grandpa and other jewish Gl's loaded up jeeps with extra rations and local food and drove it out to them once they cleared the mines https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYZgbgJdvc0 [Embed]
File: tomb of the unknown ipg (66 KB, 720x672) Veterans Day Thread Anonymous 11/11/14(Tue)10:13:12 No.23558584 >>23558639 >>23558971 >>23559000 23559070 23559261 23559725 23560055>23560061 23560075 23563549 2356377 23563860 23563940 23564206 Today we remember and honor our veterans in the USA to do this tell the stories of your grandfathers, fathers, your friends, and yourselves experiences in war >grampy >be OSS agent >speak 9 languages fluently >get sent to vichiy france >get german officers hammered on peppermint shnapps and get them to tell troop movement plans and other stuff >obtain intelligence and loose women >give to OSS command >sucessful assignment >grandpa loved schnapps till the day he died >grandpa is reassigned to morocco >go mark to mark the location of mines outside marrakesh and find nazis in the desert with recon team >nazis mined the river >see beddouin looking guy on camel who is shaking his hands and motioning for grandpa to come over to him >grandpa tries to talk to him through minefield >cant understand him >guy may have important intelligence >grandpa and his buddy park jeep, take minesweepers out and walk through partially marked minefield, then cross waist deep river, and walk through unmakred mine field with minesweeper to try and talk to camel jockey >grandpa tried to use all 9 languages swhen grandpa tries hebrew the guy gets all excite >takes grandpa and guy to the mountians >they go into cave full of dirty and starving people >camel man gets group elder >group elder says "shalom" to grampy >they speak in hebrew to each other, turns out the nazis mined the only source of water and their mines were blowing up their camels they gave the army the positions of the nazi troops in exchange for nothing >grandpa and other jewish Gl's loaded up jeeps with extra rations and local food and drove it out to them once they cleared the mines https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYZgbgJdvc0 [Embed]

Greentext Stories
german france camel grandpa /k/ jewish wwii military hebrew jews greentext green text world war 2 morocco greentext story fluent in 9 languages oss jeeps nazi troops minefield

、令111 (D 14:30 ▼ Settings Home 07/29/14(Tue)04:54:29 No.27856942 Board /fit/ Fitness Anonymous General Autismo This is my story, /fit/ >in college class have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum 20 miles away 49 KB JPG decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk cute clerk is standing there ask for curator older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but l made her laugh once or twice tell curator about my projedt >he gives me enough information to do a projedt on tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curaton for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that realize what I've done 1 post omitted
、令111 (D 14:30 ▼ Settings Home 07/29/14(Tue)04:54:29 No.27856942 Board /fit/ Fitness Anonymous General Autismo This is my story, /fit/ >in college class have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum 20 miles away 49 KB JPG decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk cute clerk is standing there ask for curator older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but l made her laugh once or twice tell curator about my projedt >he gives me enough information to do a projedt on tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curaton for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that realize what I've done 1 post omitted

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grill tfw no gf /fit/

Anonymous 11/06/14(Thu)14:01:12 No.235014012350312923503496223505292 What about mechanical battle buddies? I never had one, but I've seen the tragedy of one being destroyed... Iraq, Late 2007 >POG, but get put on QRF all the time because I had my s--- together Running security for a EOD team dealing with an IED in the middle of a route in the the middle of nowhere EOD send the robot down to go check it out >Bored as f---, takes like 30 minutes for the robot to travel the full length of the road to the IED >Suddenly BO IED went off, only casualty is the road and the robot, maybe there was a triggerman, maybe the robot set something off, don't know Me and the rest of my guys on security start hootin' and hollarin', amazed by the blast >Suddenly realize that we can hear screaming >Oh f--- EOD guy who was operating the robot is being held back by the rest of his team, he's trying to run down the road to where the IED went off The guy is f------ crying and screaming "SLOW JOE, NOT SLOW JOE, OH GOD, PLEASE, GOD PLEASE, NOT SLOW JOE, LET ME GO GET HIM, LET ME SAVE HIM, OH GOD, SLOW JOE >This guy is f------ breaking dowwn crying, absolutely heartbroken EOD guys eventually get him to stop struggling and he just curls up and cries in the back of their humvee EOD team leader try's to explain to us that the guy was "really attached to that bot and that him and the bot had been through three deployments together You don't understand how badly this guy was shook up. I can still remember him screaming for "Slow Joe"
Anonymous 11/06/14(Thu)14:01:12 No.235014012350312923503496223505292 What about mechanical battle buddies? I never had one, but I've seen the tragedy of one being destroyed... Iraq, Late 2007 >POG, but get put on QRF all the time because I had my s--- together Running security for a EOD team dealing with an IED in the middle of a route in the the middle of nowhere EOD send the robot down to go check it out >Bored as f---, takes like 30 minutes for the robot to travel the full length of the road to the IED >Suddenly BO IED went off, only casualty is the road and the robot, maybe there was a triggerman, maybe the robot set something off, don't know Me and the rest of my guys on security start hootin' and hollarin', amazed by the blast >Suddenly realize that we can hear screaming >Oh f--- EOD guy who was operating the robot is being held back by the rest of his team, he's trying to run down the road to where the IED went off The guy is f------ crying and screaming "SLOW JOE, NOT SLOW JOE, OH GOD, PLEASE, GOD PLEASE, NOT SLOW JOE, LET ME GO GET HIM, LET ME SAVE HIM, OH GOD, SLOW JOE >This guy is f------ breaking dowwn crying, absolutely heartbroken EOD guys eventually get him to stop struggling and he just curls up and cries in the back of their humvee EOD team leader try's to explain to us that the guy was "really attached to that bot and that him and the bot had been through three deployments together You don't understand how badly this guy was shook up. I can still remember him screaming for "Slow Joe"

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4chan iraq feels boom /k/ greentext 2007 green text eod greentext story battle buddies slow joe slow joe ded huge explosion big explosion pog eod team ied casualty military

Anonymous 11/05/14(Wed)15:31:19 No.35980361、 35980385 File: c96ae5024ebb34ce9d9e8745b Lipg (106 KB, 495x350) >>35976261 >military campaign >Generation Kill but with magical girls >F------ dress blues wish, man. That got so many f------ girls. Now look at us: Kyouko hasn't killed anybody, I'm half a world away from good Thai p----, and Mami is out here rolling around f------- Iraq, hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and vag sweat
Anonymous 11/05/14(Wed)15:31:19 No.35980361、 35980385 File: c96ae5024ebb34ce9d9e8745b Lipg (106 KB, 495x350) >>35976261 >military campaign >Generation Kill but with magical girls >F------ dress blues wish, man. That got so many f------ girls. Now look at us: Kyouko hasn't killed anybody, I'm half a world away from good Thai p----, and Mami is out here rolling around f------- Iraq, hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and vag sweat

Greentext Stories
iraq mami kyouko magical girls generation kill generation kill but with magical girls hunting for dragons in a mopp suit that smells like four days of piss and vag sweat

O Anonymous 06/08/14(Sun)20:17:13 No.21498976 1400474597873ipg (195 KB, 736x947) google iadb >>21499287 >>21498989 >>21499048 Allow me to tell you the story of Hans. 1/2 >Playing on Apartments >Glorious motherland moves up to the apartment complex across the river >Was a long and hard fought battle >Casualties were many, but we finally advanced >MG and I make our way to the upper levels of the apartments to provide cover (currently playing as sniper) >Find German sitting in the corner Only I notice him, MG bro keeps going Has weapon drawn, doesn't shoot >Over global chat, I read in broken English something like "Do not shoot, no ammo, name Hans, am prisoner" >Relay that I have a captive over voice comms to team, trusting that this guy doesn't spinal tap me with his rifle Proceed to snipe his buddies >He follows me everywhere >No one shoots him surprisingly enough >Keeps typing roleplaying phrases in the global chat "So glad you spare me, have wife and child >You are truly great friend" >So on, etc. Eventually the other team just won't have it since they're losing on the final checkpoint >Organize prisoner transfer >Entire Russian team is stationed in the buildings overseeing the courtyard at the final checkpoint >Entire Axis team is stationed inside the buildings on the opposite ends It's me, Hans, and random Axis officer meeting in the middle >Hans is freaking out >"No please, they will kill me, am coward >Axis team decides to go along with it >"No need to worry, many iron crosses will be given to you" >Hans leaves with the Axis team, all is still quiet >Enemy teams in plain view of each other, yet refuse to shoot until prisoner exchange is complete Back away from the scene as Hans leaves in front of Axis officer, refuse to take eyes off of Hans >He looks back at me and stops as to type something >Axis officer shoots him square in the head with the C96 >pic related >>21499287>>21499048 Anonymous 06/08/14(Sun)20:18:21 No.21498989 1401002939420 ipg (44 KB, 500x612) google igdb 21498976 TRAITOR" he types in the chat The angry roar of a thousand nuggets, smgs, and DP-28s erupt through the day as Hans falls limp Enemy team returns fire with MG-34s, K98s, and MP40s >Pops, cracks, whizzes, and tracers fly all around me as I'm still standing in the open, eyes focused n tme ememy officer >Character twitching like crazy as I draw my sidearm and ainm >Officer turns around and does the same >Shoot officer square in the eye between twitches >He falls limp next to Hans Begin unloading on the MG nest with random fire >pic related >See MG slowly turn toward me while I reload >Tracers fill the screen >ded
O Anonymous 06/08/14(Sun)20:17:13 No.21498976 1400474597873ipg (195 KB, 736x947) google iadb >>21499287 >>21498989 >>21499048 Allow me to tell you the story of Hans. 1/2 >Playing on Apartments >Glorious motherland moves up to the apartment complex across the river >Was a long and hard fought battle >Casualties were many, but we finally advanced >MG and I make our way to the upper levels of the apartments to provide cover (currently playing as sniper) >Find German sitting in the corner Only I notice him, MG bro keeps going Has weapon drawn, doesn't shoot >Over global chat, I read in broken English something like "Do not shoot, no ammo, name Hans, am prisoner" >Relay that I have a captive over voice comms to team, trusting that this guy doesn't spinal tap me with his rifle Proceed to snipe his buddies >He follows me everywhere >No one shoots him surprisingly enough >Keeps typing roleplaying phrases in the global chat "So glad you spare me, have wife and child >You are truly great friend" >So on, etc. Eventually the other team just won't have it since they're losing on the final checkpoint >Organize prisoner transfer >Entire Russian team is stationed in the buildings overseeing the courtyard at the final checkpoint >Entire Axis team is stationed inside the buildings on the opposite ends It's me, Hans, and random Axis officer meeting in the middle >Hans is freaking out >"No please, they will kill me, am coward >Axis team decides to go along with it >"No need to worry, many iron crosses will be given to you" >Hans leaves with the Axis team, all is still quiet >Enemy teams in plain view of each other, yet refuse to shoot until prisoner exchange is complete Back away from the scene as Hans leaves in front of Axis officer, refuse to take eyes off of Hans >He looks back at me and stops as to type something >Axis officer shoots him square in the head with the C96 >pic related >>21499287>>21499048 Anonymous 06/08/14(Sun)20:18:21 No.21498989 1401002939420 ipg (44 KB, 500x612) google igdb 21498976 TRAITOR" he types in the chat The angry roar of a thousand nuggets, smgs, and DP-28s erupt through the day as Hans falls limp Enemy team returns fire with MG-34s, K98s, and MP40s >Pops, cracks, whizzes, and tracers fly all around me as I'm still standing in the open, eyes focused n tme ememy officer >Character twitching like crazy as I draw my sidearm and ainm >Officer turns around and does the same >Shoot officer square in the eye between twitches >He falls limp next to Hans Begin unloading on the MG nest with random fire >pic related >See MG slowly turn toward me while I reload >Tracers fill the screen >ded

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germany russia officer prisoner axis hans motherland red orchestra traitor story of hans prisoner hans final checkpoint prisoner exchange c96 roar of a thousand nuggets hans didn't shoot first prisoner transfer

Anonymous (ID: dcUIAxYN) 05/03/13(Fri)13:51:38 No.477473423 Replies: 22477474494 22477474980 22477475271 22477475508 224774 >>477480552 >>477480573 >>477481806 >>477483813 >247 477 163 Story of my time in the US milita > be 2006 > Joined military when i was 18, living in a small town outside of NC. > Shipping over to Iraq to kill Sadam > 2007 ive been chosen to join a task force to raid a compound believed to be filled with terrorists > My CO is a girl. w-- > This chick has a reputation of being the biggest bitch in our entire compound. Everyone hates her > Meet her for the first time > HUDSON! IF I CATCH YOU NOT LOOKING OVER EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR UNITS SHOULDERS, I WILL PERSONALLY SHOVE YOUR GUN UP YOUR ASS > Hear s--- like this every second of every day > F--- this bitch > Finally the day has come for the raid, training was a bitch, especially since our CO was the one leading it all, but its over now > Raiding compound > Firefight gets intense, bullets are flying everywhere. Most guys keep their cool... Except our CO > She starts freaking out. Probably some Westpoint daughters general who has no combat experience > Get a call over the radio > House up ahead is rigged with tripwires and explosives > CO turns to me, still freaking out as bullets are still flying. "HUDSON! WE NEED TO FIND BETTER COVER. LETS GO INTO THAT HOUSE!" > MFW she points to the booby trapped house > Make our way to the doorway. She screams at me to enter, seeing that I am stalling > I take a look at her and say "Ladies first" > I got honored and medals for 'attempting to save her life', after she blew up
Anonymous (ID: dcUIAxYN) 05/03/13(Fri)13:51:38 No.477473423 Replies: 22477474494 22477474980 22477475271 22477475508 224774 >>477480552 >>477480573 >>477481806 >>477483813 >247 477 163 Story of my time in the US milita > be 2006 > Joined military when i was 18, living in a small town outside of NC. > Shipping over to Iraq to kill Sadam > 2007 ive been chosen to join a task force to raid a compound believed to be filled with terrorists > My CO is a girl. w-- > This chick has a reputation of being the biggest bitch in our entire compound. Everyone hates her > Meet her for the first time > HUDSON! IF I CATCH YOU NOT LOOKING OVER EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR UNITS SHOULDERS, I WILL PERSONALLY SHOVE YOUR GUN UP YOUR ASS > Hear s--- like this every second of every day > F--- this bitch > Finally the day has come for the raid, training was a bitch, especially since our CO was the one leading it all, but its over now > Raiding compound > Firefight gets intense, bullets are flying everywhere. Most guys keep their cool... Except our CO > She starts freaking out. Probably some Westpoint daughters general who has no combat experience > Get a call over the radio > House up ahead is rigged with tripwires and explosives > CO turns to me, still freaking out as bullets are still flying. "HUDSON! WE NEED TO FIND BETTER COVER. LETS GO INTO THAT HOUSE!" > MFW she points to the booby trapped house > Make our way to the doorway. She screams at me to enter, seeing that I am stalling > I take a look at her and say "Ladies first" > I got honored and medals for 'attempting to save her life', after she blew up

Greentext Stories
4chan iraq military greentext 2007 firefight co us military hudson greentext story commanding officer co is a grill co is a girl co lost cool during firefight compound raid westpoint daughter's general ladies first no combat experience i got honored and medals for 'attempting to save her life' after she blew up house rigged with traps and explosives house rigged with tripwire and explosives booby trapped house we need better cover mortar baseball

O Anonymous 04/08/14(Tue)21. 1 3 01 No 20732445 1262031656896 ipg (16 KB, 360x240) g0ogle iodb 2220732530 2220732845 2220732912 2220733066 This I the story of private Stewart Little, MoH recipient, and the bravest soldier I will ever know > Basic 2004 > on our one week FTX > doing rooming guard watching everyone in the foxholes and keeping an eye out for the DS incase he tries to f--- with us > hear "BANG > rush to the sound of the noise > a guy in his fox hole yells "I got him! I got that son-of-a-bitch > apparently the guy in the foxhole had a mouse run across his foxhole so he shot it with a blank and killed it here comes the kill hat... > WHO THE F--- IS SHOOTING! > "Drill Sergeant, the private shot a mouse!" >"SHOT A MOUSE! YOU SHOT A F------ MOUSEI OH S--- PRIVATEI OH S---- > Drill Sergeant walks off > this will not end well > it's 0430 > DS comes back with an E-tool and gives I to the private who shot the mouse "OK F--- STICK YOU ARE GOING TO DIG A 6 FOOT ACROSS 4 FOOT WIDE AND 6 FOOT DEEP HOLE WITH 90 DEGEE ANGLES! > DS points at me "ALRIGHT RETARD YOURE WITH MEI I WANT YOU TO WRANGLE UP ALL THE OTHER LITTLE RETARDS AND GET A FORMATION! > Do so in about 3 minutes and get everyone in formation > DS explains how a private shot a mouse with a blank last night and we are all going to attend a funeral today in honor of the fallen mouse > DS makes me the Chaplain > I am suppose to deliver a eulogy s meanwhile the private who shot the mouse has finished the hole after several hours of digging at it is perfect 90 degree comers > The DS makes the private write a letter to the mouse's family explaining the details behind why the mouse was Killed in Action > continued in Part 2 when we go full retard し」 Anonymous 04/08/14(Tue)21:44:13 No.20732845 2220732885 22207329122220733066 220732445 So picking up where I left off Retard shot a mouse and the DS is planning a funeral. s the DS is drilling several squads for the funeral detail > The entire company is present for the fallen Hero who was now named Private Stewart Little > I deliver the eulogy > hear giggling as I regard the harrowing tale of how Private Little bravely stormed the trenches > he has an American flag draped over his shoe box coffin > it is folded and presented to the mouse's wife(she could not attend) > a funeral detail does a 21 gun salute > Taps is played as Private Stewart Little is lowered into his hole > 1SG and XO are crying laughing s nobody in the company can keep a straight face not even myself > DS makes the retard private bury the mouse >all in all a very entertaining day > Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most.. human. http://www.youtube.com/watchvenhGuhfBk5xk
O Anonymous 04/08/14(Tue)21. 1 3 01 No 20732445 1262031656896 ipg (16 KB, 360x240) g0ogle iodb 2220732530 2220732845 2220732912 2220733066 This I the story of private Stewart Little, MoH recipient, and the bravest soldier I will ever know > Basic 2004 > on our one week FTX > doing rooming guard watching everyone in the foxholes and keeping an eye out for the DS incase he tries to f--- with us > hear "BANG > rush to the sound of the noise > a guy in his fox hole yells "I got him! I got that son-of-a-bitch > apparently the guy in the foxhole had a mouse run across his foxhole so he shot it with a blank and killed it here comes the kill hat... > WHO THE F--- IS SHOOTING! > "Drill Sergeant, the private shot a mouse!" >"SHOT A MOUSE! YOU SHOT A F------ MOUSEI OH S--- PRIVATEI OH S---- > Drill Sergeant walks off > this will not end well > it's 0430 > DS comes back with an E-tool and gives I to the private who shot the mouse "OK F--- STICK YOU ARE GOING TO DIG A 6 FOOT ACROSS 4 FOOT WIDE AND 6 FOOT DEEP HOLE WITH 90 DEGEE ANGLES! > DS points at me "ALRIGHT RETARD YOURE WITH MEI I WANT YOU TO WRANGLE UP ALL THE OTHER LITTLE RETARDS AND GET A FORMATION! > Do so in about 3 minutes and get everyone in formation > DS explains how a private shot a mouse with a blank last night and we are all going to attend a funeral today in honor of the fallen mouse > DS makes me the Chaplain > I am suppose to deliver a eulogy s meanwhile the private who shot the mouse has finished the hole after several hours of digging at it is perfect 90 degree comers > The DS makes the private write a letter to the mouse's family explaining the details behind why the mouse was Killed in Action > continued in Part 2 when we go full retard し」 Anonymous 04/08/14(Tue)21:44:13 No.20732845 2220732885 22207329122220733066 220732445 So picking up where I left off Retard shot a mouse and the DS is planning a funeral. s the DS is drilling several squads for the funeral detail > The entire company is present for the fallen Hero who was now named Private Stewart Little > I deliver the eulogy > hear giggling as I regard the harrowing tale of how Private Little bravely stormed the trenches > he has an American flag draped over his shoe box coffin > it is folded and presented to the mouse's wife(she could not attend) > a funeral detail does a 21 gun salute > Taps is played as Private Stewart Little is lowered into his hole > 1SG and XO are crying laughing s nobody in the company can keep a straight face not even myself > DS makes the retard private bury the mouse >all in all a very entertaining day > Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most.. human. http://www.youtube.com/watchvenhGuhfBk5xk

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4chan mouse training military basic private mouse recruit private stewart little private steward little mouse killed with blank

□ Anonymous ID ST 06/25/14 Wed 00:23:35 No.553051269、>-553051837 2:5530520792:553052292 22553052838 >>5530530682:553054535 File: 1397777446003.png (78 KB, 253x235) >working in a high end restaurant >chef is hard ass german >decide to f--- with hinm >bartender brings up case of apple juice in cans, and leaves it in the kitchen >snag 3 cans from the case, and crank the oven to 500 >service starts >it's time >place cans of apple juice in the oven they start to melt and contort, leaking apple juice into the inferno of an oven >chef walks into the kitchen >VAT IS ZAT HISSING" >try to contain my laughter as k---- chef opens the oven door to see melting cans of juice >k---- chef starts yelling "WHY IZ ZE JEWZ IN ZE OVEN, TAKE ZE JEWZ OUT OF ZE OVEN >entire dining room can hear him >k---- chef never found out that it was me
□ Anonymous ID ST 06/25/14 Wed 00:23:35 No.553051269、>-553051837 2:5530520792:553052292 22553052838 >>5530530682:553054535 File: 1397777446003.png (78 KB, 253x235) >working in a high end restaurant >chef is hard ass german >decide to f--- with hinm >bartender brings up case of apple juice in cans, and leaves it in the kitchen >snag 3 cans from the case, and crank the oven to 500 >service starts >it's time >place cans of apple juice in the oven they start to melt and contort, leaking apple juice into the inferno of an oven >chef walks into the kitchen >VAT IS ZAT HISSING" >try to contain my laughter as k---- chef opens the oven door to see melting cans of juice >k---- chef starts yelling "WHY IZ ZE JEWZ IN ZE OVEN, TAKE ZE JEWZ OUT OF ZE OVEN >entire dining room can hear him >k---- chef never found out that it was me

Greentext Stories
4chan greentext story german chef high end restaurant cans of juice in oven jews in oven vat iz zat hissing why iz ze jews in ze oven take ze jews out of ze oven why iz ze jewz in ze oven take ze jewz out of ze oven

/a/ Anonymous Wed 31 Aug 2011 12:48:36 No.54085582 View Report go into women's studies class, expecting to be only guy in class of hot girls open door >99% of its students are fat neckbeards suffocating the feminist d---- crammed next to them sit and try to calm down and remember what supreme and wise leader Kevin would do raise hand "u-um, teacher? I just want to say- >SUDDENLY ALL THE NECKBEARDS IN CLASS RAISE THEIR HANDS IN A CHAOS AND START SCREAMING ABOUT HERSTORY one neckbeard dressed in girls clothes says "OH GOD THAT IS SO000O SEXY I LOVE MEN WHO RESPECT WOMEN. crowds of sweating weeaboo virgins roll over to him and spaz out "WILL YOU MARRY ME >"I WANT TO F--- YOU" >"NO GET AWAY SHES MINE" the basement dwellers proceed to eat one another while the fat and ugly trap pulls out his d--- and starts masturbating >all the women in class have vomited and are crying in their own puddles feminist teacher has committed seppuku, having seen the lowest that a man can possibly aspire to >put head on desk and cry like i do in every class like the beta f----- i am thanks kevin you f------ d---
/a/ Anonymous Wed 31 Aug 2011 12:48:36 No.54085582 View Report go into women's studies class, expecting to be only guy in class of hot girls open door >99% of its students are fat neckbeards suffocating the feminist d---- crammed next to them sit and try to calm down and remember what supreme and wise leader Kevin would do raise hand "u-um, teacher? I just want to say- >SUDDENLY ALL THE NECKBEARDS IN CLASS RAISE THEIR HANDS IN A CHAOS AND START SCREAMING ABOUT HERSTORY one neckbeard dressed in girls clothes says "OH GOD THAT IS SO000O SEXY I LOVE MEN WHO RESPECT WOMEN. crowds of sweating weeaboo virgins roll over to him and spaz out "WILL YOU MARRY ME >"I WANT TO F--- YOU" >"NO GET AWAY SHES MINE" the basement dwellers proceed to eat one another while the fat and ugly trap pulls out his d--- and starts masturbating >all the women in class have vomited and are crying in their own puddles feminist teacher has committed seppuku, having seen the lowest that a man can possibly aspire to >put head on desk and cry like i do in every class like the beta f----- i am thanks kevin you f------ d---

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4chan feminism neckbeard

■ Anonymous 11/17/13(Sun)15:54 No.9229516 File: 1384721695760.jpg-(16 KB, 285x324, 1367881932529.jpg) >Live in apartment complex Walking out to my car >See 3 guys and 2 girls around my bike >wat.jpg MiLD Walk over to see the commotion One guy is sitting on my bike, two of the other guys are taking 08Bv pictures Girls are chatting up how cool he is and crap Act all surprised going "Woah dude, nice bike! It yours?" >"Yeah it is, really fast bike" Nice job dodging the question f----- >"Yeah I bet. What kind is that?" >"Oh it's a uh, sportbike." >dis gun b gewd >"Dude I've never seen one up close, could you turn it on? I bet this thing revs nice" >"O-o-oh uhm, I must have left my keys indoors" >"Here this might work" Walk over and put my key in the ignition >His face turns red as an apple >My f------ face when
■ Anonymous 11/17/13(Sun)15:54 No.9229516 File: 1384721695760.jpg-(16 KB, 285x324, 1367881932529.jpg) >Live in apartment complex Walking out to my car >See 3 guys and 2 girls around my bike >wat.jpg MiLD Walk over to see the commotion One guy is sitting on my bike, two of the other guys are taking 08Bv pictures Girls are chatting up how cool he is and crap Act all surprised going "Woah dude, nice bike! It yours?" >"Yeah it is, really fast bike" Nice job dodging the question f----- >"Yeah I bet. What kind is that?" >"Oh it's a uh, sportbike." >dis gun b gewd >"Dude I've never seen one up close, could you turn it on? I bet this thing revs nice" >"O-o-oh uhm, I must have left my keys indoors" >"Here this might work" Walk over and put my key in the ignition >His face turns red as an apple >My f------ face when

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He got me

File: 1367118040786.png-(5 KB, 274x242, 1346705938179.png) Anonymous (ID: utT2kGs9) 04/27/13(Sat)23:00:40 No.476087879 >11th grade >Got laid 5 times that summer >Meet a girl at school >She's weird, interesting, and a tomboy, also a 9/10 >Become good friends quickly >Home alone at her house one day >I start telling her I think she's cute >We kiss >She tells me that she wants to be a man >whoa.gif tells me she's only into girls >shows me her strap on tells me she comes to school wearing it sometimes >Wants me to help her find a girlfriend >Thinks I'm a stud that gets a lot of girls I tell her I'l help her get girls >Have no idea how I'm going to >She asks if I want a h------- >Sure >She asks me what it's like to have a d---, and j-------, and have sex >She puts on the strap-on >She places my hand on her dildo-d--- >We are jerking each other off >She starts telling me about all of her fetishes >A lot of dark, twisted stuff >She has a fetish for legs >Wants to "play" with my leg >Sure >She starts kissing my leg >Licking my leg do this Pulling my leg Pulling your leg Im pulling your leg
File: 1367118040786.png-(5 KB, 274x242, 1346705938179.png) Anonymous (ID: utT2kGs9) 04/27/13(Sat)23:00:40 No.476087879 >11th grade >Got laid 5 times that summer >Meet a girl at school >She's weird, interesting, and a tomboy, also a 9/10 >Become good friends quickly >Home alone at her house one day >I start telling her I think she's cute >We kiss >She tells me that she wants to be a man >whoa.gif tells me she's only into girls >shows me her strap on tells me she comes to school wearing it sometimes >Wants me to help her find a girlfriend >Thinks I'm a stud that gets a lot of girls I tell her I'l help her get girls >Have no idea how I'm going to >She asks if I want a h------- >Sure >She asks me what it's like to have a d---, and j-------, and have sex >She puts on the strap-on >She places my hand on her dildo-d--- >We are jerking each other off >She starts telling me about all of her fetishes >A lot of dark, twisted stuff >She has a fetish for legs >Wants to "play" with my leg >Sure >She starts kissing my leg >Licking my leg do this Pulling my leg Pulling your leg Im pulling your leg

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green text stories 4chan strap on sex

McDick aims to please

File: download (1.ipg (8 KB, 183x275) Anonymous (ID: Ea8VYh) 09/26/14(Fri)15:57:45 No.570786374 >Be McDick >Be in my office at home one day >Bitch comes through the door >Her tongue is hanging out in excitement for the D--- >McDick aims to please McDick takes her to McDick's bedroom and we f--- for a solid 30 minutes >She moans and cries >The neighbor hears fukinhell.mpg >neighbor calls cops because noise apparently-r--- >Cops come >They arrest me and take bitch away That was the last time I was able to own a dog
File: download (1.ipg (8 KB, 183x275) Anonymous (ID: Ea8VYh) 09/26/14(Fri)15:57:45 No.570786374 >Be McDick >Be in my office at home one day >Bitch comes through the door >Her tongue is hanging out in excitement for the D--- >McDick aims to please McDick takes her to McDick's bedroom and we f--- for a solid 30 minutes >She moans and cries >The neighbor hears fukinhell.mpg >neighbor calls cops because noise apparently-r--- >Cops come >They arrest me and take bitch away That was the last time I was able to own a dog

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>Dark Brotherhood

-1 File (hide): 1411742085004.ipg (6.33 KB, 315x160, 63:32, images-2.jpg) Hors Scrub雪09/26/14 (Fri) 09:34:46 No.1 Reply! be me >be in school's local music club >big statewide music convention coming up, get to miss school if you go to it >signmeup.mp4 >the day comes and i'm all dressed up in a nice little suit and whatever ride to the convention center with my bro, jamming >get there and look for babes it's just old people 14左bMPV waitno.wav at least i've got my squad though we look through some of the sessions >something with drums, something with xylophones, etc >meh, it's okay wait, what's that? >"musical games to teach kids" target acquired >stroll in with the squad, looking fresh all the old women are floored by us strapping gentlemen >sit down right in the front >session: starto >"today we're going to learn how to teach music with games." >"first I need a volunteer" my hand goes up as fast as >I get picked along with three other old women sonichu we're corralled into the middle of the room >seminar lady is getting something out of a box wait, is that fur? Sit's a freaking stick horse >oh snap we all receive our stick horses and promptly mount them >mine is as dark as midnight >idea.png >seminar lady pulls out two small finger puppet horses >"what should I name this horse?" >she wiggles around an orange little >"golden boy!" one of the ladies coughs out horse on her f inger >"okay, what should I name THIS horse?" >she wiggles around a pitch black horse on her finger it's just like mine i summon my "SHADOWMERE" i belt out >room goes silent >the squad stands up >squad approves S"okay... this horse is now shadowmere," she says the music starts >we begin to ride our horses >shadowm >music stops >squad is almost crying we hand in our horses and thank the seminar lady inner thu'um ere pummels the other scrub horses into the dirt with his magnificence lean in real close to her ear and whisper >"we know
-1 File (hide): 1411742085004.ipg (6.33 KB, 315x160, 63:32, images-2.jpg) Hors Scrub雪09/26/14 (Fri) 09:34:46 No.1 Reply! be me >be in school's local music club >big statewide music convention coming up, get to miss school if you go to it >signmeup.mp4 >the day comes and i'm all dressed up in a nice little suit and whatever ride to the convention center with my bro, jamming >get there and look for babes it's just old people 14左bMPV waitno.wav at least i've got my squad though we look through some of the sessions >something with drums, something with xylophones, etc >meh, it's okay wait, what's that? >"musical games to teach kids" target acquired >stroll in with the squad, looking fresh all the old women are floored by us strapping gentlemen >sit down right in the front >session: starto >"today we're going to learn how to teach music with games." >"first I need a volunteer" my hand goes up as fast as >I get picked along with three other old women sonichu we're corralled into the middle of the room >seminar lady is getting something out of a box wait, is that fur? Sit's a freaking stick horse >oh snap we all receive our stick horses and promptly mount them >mine is as dark as midnight >idea.png >seminar lady pulls out two small finger puppet horses >"what should I name this horse?" >she wiggles around an orange little >"golden boy!" one of the ladies coughs out horse on her f inger >"okay, what should I name THIS horse?" >she wiggles around a pitch black horse on her finger it's just like mine i summon my "SHADOWMERE" i belt out >room goes silent >the squad stands up >squad approves S"okay... this horse is now shadowmere," she says the music starts >we begin to ride our horses >shadowm >music stops >squad is almost crying we hand in our horses and thank the seminar lady inner thu'um ere pummels the other scrub horses into the dirt with his magnificence lean in real close to her ear and whisper >"we know

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music greentext skyrim dark brotherhood

Anonymous 09/16/14(Tue)15:00:11 No.113803359 113803450 >113803575 File: 1410785715690.jpg (12 KB, 185x185) >113799826 (OP) TOP HONK This. >anon is suddenly transported to an SoL anime F--- yeah, I like it!" >anime ends >he's thrown back into the beginning >anon tries to change things sthe things proceed exactly the same, despite anon's efforts people say the same things to a T >same events occur endlessly >characters are literally living by a f------ script, and they don't deviate from it no matter what, the only thing that isn't scripted is anon, and he can't change the script, he can only submit to it >even when he just walks up and stabs a girl out of insanity, she just shrugs it off and doesn't even care, because she's a marionette of the plot, and the world goes on >there is no world beyond town, where anime takes place, the town is just a decoration for the plot >background people are literally faceless like in cookie-cutter anime, and most of the buildings are just concrete boxes like in videogames anon can't get out, even when he kills himself, he's just transported back to the beginning >basically Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern meets Endless Eight, with a sprinkle of violence and insanity there are two possible endings in one, anon just goes insane, gives up and submits to the script, becoming one of the marionettes of the plot in the other, things are a bit more complicated-every single loop the decorations deter a little, but the script forces the marionettes to go on. >in the end, after trillions and trillions of loops, the decorations fall, the marionettes crumple, nothing remains >anon is floating in the emptiness of nothingness he's smiling, he has finally earned his rest Directed by Urobutcher, marketed as a wish fulfillment anime about a guy who gets his wish to live in anime.
Anonymous 09/16/14(Tue)15:00:11 No.113803359 113803450 >113803575 File: 1410785715690.jpg (12 KB, 185x185) >113799826 (OP) TOP HONK This. >anon is suddenly transported to an SoL anime F--- yeah, I like it!" >anime ends >he's thrown back into the beginning >anon tries to change things sthe things proceed exactly the same, despite anon's efforts people say the same things to a T >same events occur endlessly >characters are literally living by a f------ script, and they don't deviate from it no matter what, the only thing that isn't scripted is anon, and he can't change the script, he can only submit to it >even when he just walks up and stabs a girl out of insanity, she just shrugs it off and doesn't even care, because she's a marionette of the plot, and the world goes on >there is no world beyond town, where anime takes place, the town is just a decoration for the plot >background people are literally faceless like in cookie-cutter anime, and most of the buildings are just concrete boxes like in videogames anon can't get out, even when he kills himself, he's just transported back to the beginning >basically Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern meets Endless Eight, with a sprinkle of violence and insanity there are two possible endings in one, anon just goes insane, gives up and submits to the script, becoming one of the marionettes of the plot in the other, things are a bit more complicated-every single loop the decorations deter a little, but the script forces the marionettes to go on. >in the end, after trillions and trillions of loops, the decorations fall, the marionettes crumple, nothing remains >anon is floating in the emptiness of nothingness he's smiling, he has finally earned his rest Directed by Urobutcher, marketed as a wish fulfillment anime about a guy who gets his wish to live in anime.

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4chan /a/ green text stories

Totes a repost, but better!

File: 1333138196.ipg-(27 KB, 331x784) の、Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)16:09 No.7588124 [Reply]Quick Reply] having sex with my girlfiend >about to c-- >scream >that feel when she won't have sex with me anymore I" 23 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:26 No.75887830 G A File: 1333149978 ipg-(557 KB, 1500x1069) >fingering my gf >decide to impress her >THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER, ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! TAKE THIS, MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW! SHINING FIN thrust my hand into her vagina third degree burns all over her p--- >her clitoris doesn't exist anymore >get disqualified from the Gundam Tournament because i destroyed her cockpit □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:31 No.75887970 GES 7588773 >7588783 I f------ love you guys □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:37 No.75888150 G 150650 ipg-(41 KB, 512x384) File >7588783 My sides are moving on their own □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:39 No.7588821 O S File: 1333150750.jpg-(34 KB, 339x350) P2 睮Hate-Chan !!Ealmhm3NPD 03/30/12(Fri)19:42 No.7588829 OGEN File: 1333150933 ipg-(15 KB, 256x256)
File: 1333138196.ipg-(27 KB, 331x784) の、Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)16:09 No.7588124 [Reply]Quick Reply] having sex with my girlfiend >about to c-- >scream >that feel when she won't have sex with me anymore I" 23 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:26 No.75887830 G A File: 1333149978 ipg-(557 KB, 1500x1069) >fingering my gf >decide to impress her >THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER, ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! TAKE THIS, MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW! SHINING FIN thrust my hand into her vagina third degree burns all over her p--- >her clitoris doesn't exist anymore >get disqualified from the Gundam Tournament because i destroyed her cockpit □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:31 No.75887970 GES 7588773 >7588783 I f------ love you guys □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:37 No.75888150 G 150650 ipg-(41 KB, 512x384) File >7588783 My sides are moving on their own □ Anonymous 03/30/12(Fri)19:39 No.7588821 O S File: 1333150750.jpg-(34 KB, 339x350) P2 睮Hate-Chan !!Ealmhm3NPD 03/30/12(Fri)19:42 No.7588829 OGEN File: 1333150933 ipg-(15 KB, 256x256)

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You niggas heard of EDGARGO


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4chan greentext rp hypest edgardo

| Anonymous (ID: telOMIA ) 06/29/14(Sun)18:16:39 No.553871 680 >>553873 1 07ー5538731 47-438732962-553873949 >>553876857 >-553877 152 2255387 1871-2553872032끄553872038)2553 8722 172255387 >Be 12, living with abusive uncle and auntie >We lived on an old farm, no animals just fields My uncle goes off to a market and comes back with this filthy ass horse >Says it's bred from some old bloke's prize stallion Auntie loves it for some reason, coz it's all muddy she calls it "Dirty" She was a bit f----- up like that , being a countryside f--, liked horses and riding them >Then they turned on me saying If we ever catch you riding our f------ horse then we will beat the living shot out of you" >They meant it, they'd done it before >Few days later, I'm messing in the fields with some old tractor tire I found >Dirty is just eating grass and s--- next to me Auntie and uncle come out every few minutes to make sure I'm not riding the horse >Get bored and climb inside the tire >Tire starts moving (field wasn't flat) >Can't stop. >Auntie and uncle come outside to check on me >They see me rollin >They hatin >Patrolling >Trying to catch me riding Dirty
| Anonymous (ID: telOMIA ) 06/29/14(Sun)18:16:39 No.553871 680 >>553873 1 07ー5538731 47-438732962-553873949 >>553876857 >-553877 152 2255387 1871-2553872032끄553872038)2553 8722 172255387 >Be 12, living with abusive uncle and auntie >We lived on an old farm, no animals just fields My uncle goes off to a market and comes back with this filthy ass horse >Says it's bred from some old bloke's prize stallion Auntie loves it for some reason, coz it's all muddy she calls it "Dirty" She was a bit f----- up like that , being a countryside f--, liked horses and riding them >Then they turned on me saying If we ever catch you riding our f------ horse then we will beat the living shot out of you" >They meant it, they'd done it before >Few days later, I'm messing in the fields with some old tractor tire I found >Dirty is just eating grass and s--- next to me Auntie and uncle come out every few minutes to make sure I'm not riding the horse >Get bored and climb inside the tire >Tire starts moving (field wasn't flat) >Can't stop. >Auntie and uncle come outside to check on me >They see me rollin >They hatin >Patrolling >Trying to catch me riding Dirty

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thejourneytonirvana ilmotel: enadams: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say "you're welcome" and the other half tried to say "no problem" and i ended up saying "your problem" Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal try miss bal >kick goalie in the face stry to ask "Are you okay? and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY1? goalie is choking back tears this post had me in tears
thejourneytonirvana ilmotel: enadams: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say "you're welcome" and the other half tried to say "no problem" and i ended up saying "your problem" Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal try miss bal >kick goalie in the face stry to ask "Are you okay? and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY1? goalie is choking back tears this post had me in tears

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/pol/ learns the difference between Woman's Studies and Statistics

ile: 1382982162628 lpg-(23 KB. 290x290, 41.jpg)四eo College stories. Anonymous凧10/28/13(Mon)13:42 UTC-4 No.22312308 2231278 22312879 22313459 2231391322314018 22314077 22315090 Replies: 223125602222312696 College stories time? TRANSPHOBE BIGOT MURDERER, CIS-SCUM > Taking a statistics class > Professor giving a harmless example to explain a mathematical concept > "Say you are trying to reconstruct a survey pool to a bi-variate or multi-variate model from a uni-variate one, it helps if your new questions are in line with your operational definitions. So for example ask all the participants whether they are male or female and then CRAMPS STILL THERE > Random manatee just yells out" but what about non-CIS people? > Professor gives a blank look at this student and says " that's for trannies and heshes right? Well > Manatee stands up and says " No, it is for all sexually oppressed people and the misunderstood and it is a way of fighting patri > Professor interrupts. "Well its irrelevant, base it on their self-identification and move along, this question is supposed to just establish a correlation to ensure your data collection isn't flawed, since a person will be male or female before and after an event you are testing as your independent variable" > Manatee stands up and is now screaming. " So people cannot change their minds now? What sort of world do you live in where that is acceptable?" > Cont Replies:2231240422312411 22312475 22312692231278622 Anonymous10/28/13(Mon)13:44 UTC-4 No.22312343 >22314292 22314351 > Professor is visibly stunned at the stupidity of this conversation. "Acceptable or not the numbers involved make it insignificant at this point in time, a footnote will suffice, no need to build a new model or make a big deal out of it or any >Manatee is now flailing her arms around( which throws the arm fat around like jello) and begins her monlouge. "You should just be more sensitive and you can put an operational model and be more accurate and not have to marginalize a huge section of society like what if you asked people their race and they were offended and how is it not a big deal if its not a big deal why make it such a big deal on the tables if it's not a big deal it's not a big accommodation right then and..." > At this point her face is Red and she is visibly winded > Professor shouts at the top of his lungs. "If you are incapable of understanding this basic tool of elementary statistics which a middle schooler could understand and you would rather bitch about how unjust the world is I suggest you go to the Women's Studies department so you can get academic backing to your victimization complex >Manatee waddles out of the room with a single s-- >Class breaks out laughing as soon as she is out the door > Based Professor continues to teach > Next week's lecture rolls around > Manatee shows up with a gaggle of cheerleaders > Cont Anonymous A 10/28/13(Mon)13:50 UTC-4 No.22312548 0 Replies: >-223125862-22312589 >22314445 22314481 22315182 2231548422316396 22316775 22317110 >22314349 >they start yelling at the professor to check his privilege >he calls the campus police to come arrest them >while we're waiting for the police they start throwing pens at him >the police come and wrangle them out of the room and close the door on the way out >we think it's over but the hambeast manages to break free >she opens the door >she gets on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur Anonymous 10/28/13(Mon)13:52 UTC-4 No.223 12604 ] Replies: >>22312668>>22312694>>223126962-223127802-22312786 >>22312798>>2231281 32-22312879 >22313312 22313816 22313861 22314018 22314646 22315083 > Before lecture starts Manatee walks to the front of the class with her cheerleading posse >Manatee turns to the professor and the 5 people up front hold hands > 1 is the most flamboyant male homosexual I can imagine > 1 is the fattest most Gothic lesbian I can imagine with ear-gauges that look authentically Ethiopian > 1 is an obvious trap > 1 is a butch flat-chested d--- with spiky hair > Professor just smirks and says Did you need directions to the women's study department ? > The cheerleaders sit there stunned > Professor lectures them. "Just because you are marginalized doesn't entitle you to s---. You live in a developed country with the right to be as much of a freak and social outcast. However bad outside censorship there is no censorship worse than self censorship, and you don't experience either. Everybody self-censors themselves because they don't want to hurt your feelings about just how annoying and intransigent you really are but luckily I am a tenured professor and if professors can stay on after r--- accusations I can handle a bunch of wannabe Social-Justice warriors now either sit down or head to the women's study department and cry to them about how terrible math is"> > Manatee waddles to the back of the class defeated, her cheerleader troop leaves class without saying a word So this really brightened up my day and restored a bit of faith in humanity How was your day /pol/?
ile: 1382982162628 lpg-(23 KB. 290x290, 41.jpg)四eo College stories. Anonymous凧10/28/13(Mon)13:42 UTC-4 No.22312308 2231278 22312879 22313459 2231391322314018 22314077 22315090 Replies: 223125602222312696 College stories time? TRANSPHOBE BIGOT MURDERER, CIS-SCUM > Taking a statistics class > Professor giving a harmless example to explain a mathematical concept > "Say you are trying to reconstruct a survey pool to a bi-variate or multi-variate model from a uni-variate one, it helps if your new questions are in line with your operational definitions. So for example ask all the participants whether they are male or female and then CRAMPS STILL THERE > Random manatee just yells out" but what about non-CIS people? > Professor gives a blank look at this student and says " that's for trannies and heshes right? Well > Manatee stands up and says " No, it is for all sexually oppressed people and the misunderstood and it is a way of fighting patri > Professor interrupts. "Well its irrelevant, base it on their self-identification and move along, this question is supposed to just establish a correlation to ensure your data collection isn't flawed, since a person will be male or female before and after an event you are testing as your independent variable" > Manatee stands up and is now screaming. " So people cannot change their minds now? What sort of world do you live in where that is acceptable?" > Cont Replies:2231240422312411 22312475 22312692231278622 Anonymous10/28/13(Mon)13:44 UTC-4 No.22312343 >22314292 22314351 > Professor is visibly stunned at the stupidity of this conversation. "Acceptable or not the numbers involved make it insignificant at this point in time, a footnote will suffice, no need to build a new model or make a big deal out of it or any >Manatee is now flailing her arms around( which throws the arm fat around like jello) and begins her monlouge. "You should just be more sensitive and you can put an operational model and be more accurate and not have to marginalize a huge section of society like what if you asked people their race and they were offended and how is it not a big deal if its not a big deal why make it such a big deal on the tables if it's not a big deal it's not a big accommodation right then and..." > At this point her face is Red and she is visibly winded > Professor shouts at the top of his lungs. "If you are incapable of understanding this basic tool of elementary statistics which a middle schooler could understand and you would rather bitch about how unjust the world is I suggest you go to the Women's Studies department so you can get academic backing to your victimization complex >Manatee waddles out of the room with a single s-- >Class breaks out laughing as soon as she is out the door > Based Professor continues to teach > Next week's lecture rolls around > Manatee shows up with a gaggle of cheerleaders > Cont Anonymous A 10/28/13(Mon)13:50 UTC-4 No.22312548 0 Replies: >-223125862-22312589 >22314445 22314481 22315182 2231548422316396 22316775 22317110 >22314349 >they start yelling at the professor to check his privilege >he calls the campus police to come arrest them >while we're waiting for the police they start throwing pens at him >the police come and wrangle them out of the room and close the door on the way out >we think it's over but the hambeast manages to break free >she opens the door >she gets on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur Anonymous 10/28/13(Mon)13:52 UTC-4 No.223 12604 ] Replies: >>22312668>>22312694>>223126962-223127802-22312786 >>22312798>>2231281 32-22312879 >22313312 22313816 22313861 22314018 22314646 22315083 > Before lecture starts Manatee walks to the front of the class with her cheerleading posse >Manatee turns to the professor and the 5 people up front hold hands > 1 is the most flamboyant male homosexual I can imagine > 1 is the fattest most Gothic lesbian I can imagine with ear-gauges that look authentically Ethiopian > 1 is an obvious trap > 1 is a butch flat-chested d--- with spiky hair > Professor just smirks and says Did you need directions to the women's study department ? > The cheerleaders sit there stunned > Professor lectures them. "Just because you are marginalized doesn't entitle you to s---. You live in a developed country with the right to be as much of a freak and social outcast. However bad outside censorship there is no censorship worse than self censorship, and you don't experience either. Everybody self-censors themselves because they don't want to hurt your feelings about just how annoying and intransigent you really are but luckily I am a tenured professor and if professors can stay on after r--- accusations I can handle a bunch of wannabe Social-Justice warriors now either sit down or head to the women's study department and cry to them about how terrible math is"> > Manatee waddles to the back of the class defeated, her cheerleader troop leaves class without saying a word So this really brightened up my day and restored a bit of faith in humanity How was your day /pol/?

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statistics faith in humanity restored feminist gender this isn't tumblr

Anonymous 12/09/11(Fri)20:43:06 No.675753 >Middle school >Pretty normal kid named Lewis >Average number of friends, not too weird, not too smart, you get the idea >Get assigned project on future careers >His turn >He leaves the room >Comes back with a box >There are hundreds of turtles in the box >Literally hundreds >He trips >The box spills >Little turtles f------ everywhere >What the actual f--- >He starts FREAKING. OUT. about the turtles escaping >Literally bursts into tears >His dad is a herpetologist and they're his turtles >Lewis stole the turtles >None of the turtles escape because they're turtles, we just pick them up and put them back it's not like they can run fast >Teacher tells me to take him to the office so they can call his dad and pick up the turtles >He wont stop crying >Actually has a seizure on the way to the office >Spills turtle box again, all down the stair well >Falls down the stairs with them >Splits his scalp open, hits his face >Turtles and blood everywhere have to run up and down three flights of stairs and collect the turtles while Lewis is unconscious Teachers later ask me why I helped the turtles and not Lewis. I still don't know.
Anonymous 12/09/11(Fri)20:43:06 No.675753 >Middle school >Pretty normal kid named Lewis >Average number of friends, not too weird, not too smart, you get the idea >Get assigned project on future careers >His turn >He leaves the room >Comes back with a box >There are hundreds of turtles in the box >Literally hundreds >He trips >The box spills >Little turtles f------ everywhere >What the actual f--- >He starts FREAKING. OUT. about the turtles escaping >Literally bursts into tears >His dad is a herpetologist and they're his turtles >Lewis stole the turtles >None of the turtles escape because they're turtles, we just pick them up and put them back it's not like they can run fast >Teacher tells me to take him to the office so they can call his dad and pick up the turtles >He wont stop crying >Actually has a seizure on the way to the office >Spills turtle box again, all down the stair well >Falls down the stairs with them >Splits his scalp open, hits his face >Turtles and blood everywhere have to run up and down three flights of stairs and collect the turtles while Lewis is unconscious Teachers later ask me why I helped the turtles and not Lewis. I still don't know.

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