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Anon finally gets it | /r/Greentext

File: D782BC2D-D42F-4685-93BB-9(...).png (209 KB, 554x838) Anonymous 05/24/20 (Sun)18:44:00 No.509541302 >>509541728 >>50 >just turned the same age as Adachi >tfw finally get it now He really didn't do anything wrong, at all Anonymous 05/24/20 (Sun)18:46:08 No.509541553► >>509543264 Except murdering a bunch of people, you absolute incel. Anonymous 05/24/20(Sun)18:47:41 No.509541728 ► >>509562479 >>509541302 (OP)
File: D782BC2D-D42F-4685-93BB-9(...).png (209 KB, 554x838) Anonymous 05/24/20 (Sun)18:44:00 No.509541302 >>509541728 >>50 >just turned the same age as Adachi >tfw finally get it now He really didn't do anything wrong, at all Anonymous 05/24/20 (Sun)18:46:08 No.509541553► >>509543264 Except murdering a bunch of people, you absolute incel. Anonymous 05/24/20(Sun)18:47:41 No.509541728 ► >>509562479 >>509541302 (OP)

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Anon starts a Panda conspiracy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: VLBU/JPJ 02/25/23(Sat) 19:02:34 No.417576759 >>417576597 # Whenever i detect something is not real i get angry and hate it. Theres no way pandas were a living species in the wild. >f------ sub zero iq levels >sleeps over 12 hours a day >the females only ovulates once a year >most pandas are bred trough artificial insemination >only eats bamboo, needs at least 20 pounds a day to get by >pees upside down >killing a panda it's punishable by death >there are no registry of pandas before the 1800. China its a 4000 year old nation, one of the most literate nations in the history of the world and you're telling me in all of that time they never wrote about the panda? >The Tainan fake panda incident refers to an incident at a private zoo in tainan, taiwan. where a sun bear was painted black and white and falsely presented to visitors as a giant panda. >humans are not allowed to interact directly with pandas, they used to say that it was because of a human to panda transmitted virus. Regardless, most world leaders have their pictures taken with pandas such as picrel > all pandas in American zoos are on loan from the Chinese government. >the official name for a group of pandas its "an embarrassment of pandas" What a f------ joke. They honestly believe we are that stupid
Anonymous (ID: VLBU/JPJ 02/25/23(Sat) 19:02:34 No.417576759 >>417576597 # Whenever i detect something is not real i get angry and hate it. Theres no way pandas were a living species in the wild. >f------ sub zero iq levels >sleeps over 12 hours a day >the females only ovulates once a year >most pandas are bred trough artificial insemination >only eats bamboo, needs at least 20 pounds a day to get by >pees upside down >killing a panda it's punishable by death >there are no registry of pandas before the 1800. China its a 4000 year old nation, one of the most literate nations in the history of the world and you're telling me in all of that time they never wrote about the panda? >The Tainan fake panda incident refers to an incident at a private zoo in tainan, taiwan. where a sun bear was painted black and white and falsely presented to visitors as a giant panda. >humans are not allowed to interact directly with pandas, they used to say that it was because of a human to panda transmitted virus. Regardless, most world leaders have their pictures taken with pandas such as picrel > all pandas in American zoos are on loan from the Chinese government. >the official name for a group of pandas its "an embarrassment of pandas" What a f------ joke. They honestly believe we are that stupid

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Anon is a weeb. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous WAIFU 02/28/23(Tue)04:28:24 No.895089807 >be weeb who finally saved up enough money for a trip to Japan >board plane with excitement >arrive in Tokyo and step outside to take in the sights >no neon-lit streets filled with 128 KB JPG maid cafes and cat girls >90% of the people I see are middle aged or older >boring skyscrapers and salarymen >head to Akihabara expecting to find a wonderland of anime merchandise >store filled with expensive electronics and not a single manga in sight >go to a maid cafe for a taste of authentic Japanese otaku culture. >serves me coffee and cake but no cute cat ears or maid outfits >drown my sorrows in a bowl of ramen >order the same ramen that Naruto eats expecting to taste the magic >end up with a plain bowl of soup and noodles >where are the giant swirls and ridiculous toppings? >realize that anime has lied to me
: Anonymous WAIFU 02/28/23(Tue)04:28:24 No.895089807 >be weeb who finally saved up enough money for a trip to Japan >board plane with excitement >arrive in Tokyo and step outside to take in the sights >no neon-lit streets filled with 128 KB JPG maid cafes and cat girls >90% of the people I see are middle aged or older >boring skyscrapers and salarymen >head to Akihabara expecting to find a wonderland of anime merchandise >store filled with expensive electronics and not a single manga in sight >go to a maid cafe for a taste of authentic Japanese otaku culture. >serves me coffee and cake but no cute cat ears or maid outfits >drown my sorrows in a bowl of ramen >order the same ramen that Naruto eats expecting to taste the magic >end up with a plain bowl of soup and noodles >where are the giant swirls and ridiculous toppings? >realize that anime has lied to me

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anon walks home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >all three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale. stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >all three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale. stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.

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Anon loves chemistry | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20230225_222150.jpg (255 KB, 640x798) My parents arguing about whether I'm gay or straight Me who thinks the Benzene Rings are looking kinda thicc Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)22:24:21 No.72363446 >> >me be >got really horny while watching an Organic chemistry lecture >fapped while the lecture was playing in bg >>72363494 >>72363693 Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)22:28:19 No.72363492 ► >>72363693 File: download.png (4 KB, 225x225) >benzene H- H
File: IMG_20230225_222150.jpg (255 KB, 640x798) My parents arguing about whether I'm gay or straight Me who thinks the Benzene Rings are looking kinda thicc Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)22:24:21 No.72363446 >> >me be >got really horny while watching an Organic chemistry lecture >fapped while the lecture was playing in bg >>72363494 >>72363693 Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)22:28:19 No.72363492 ► >>72363693 File: download.png (4 KB, 225x225) >benzene H- H

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Anon wants to troll the CIA | /r/Greentext

File: 51XG02gm43S._AC_SL1000_.jpg (43 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 02/17/23(Fri)15:54:41 No.894518599 [Reply] I'm ashamed of you, f------. No one has suggested taking advantage of the Chinese spy balloon crisis for lulz yet. 10 years ago 4chan would have had the sky filled with "spy balloons" and the government and news media in chaos from day 1. I guess /b/ really is dead. >6 foot balloon on Amazon: $20 >Helium tank from Walmart: $25 >Tinfoil to wrap around the balloon to increase its radar signature: $3 >Circuitboards and wires from junk electronics to make it look like it does something: Free >Glory of trolling the CIA and the military: Priceless
File: 51XG02gm43S._AC_SL1000_.jpg (43 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 02/17/23(Fri)15:54:41 No.894518599 [Reply] I'm ashamed of you, f------. No one has suggested taking advantage of the Chinese spy balloon crisis for lulz yet. 10 years ago 4chan would have had the sky filled with "spy balloons" and the government and news media in chaos from day 1. I guess /b/ really is dead. >6 foot balloon on Amazon: $20 >Helium tank from Walmart: $25 >Tinfoil to wrap around the balloon to increase its radar signature: $3 >Circuitboards and wires from junk electronics to make it look like it does something: Free >Glory of trolling the CIA and the military: Priceless

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Anon eats healthy for once in his life, mom thinks he is killing himself. 'Merica | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 02/25/23(Sat)01:45:41 No.72360055 >used to eat whatever goyslop my parents put in front of my face >parents see no problem with me being chubby and unhealthy >want to get better so start making an effort to eat healthy >suddenly every little thing I eat is subject to intense scrutiny from my mom >"anon, why are you eating so many eggs? that's too much cholesterol!" >"you shouldn't be eating avocados so often, they have a lot of fat in them!" >"you use too much olive oil, that's gotta be bad for you!" >"you're eating rice really often, I read online that carbs make you fat!" >"that's unhealthy to drink coffee/tea so often, caffeine is really bad for you!" (drinking soda before was fine tho) why is the mom like this
: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 02/25/23(Sat)01:45:41 No.72360055 >used to eat whatever goyslop my parents put in front of my face >parents see no problem with me being chubby and unhealthy >want to get better so start making an effort to eat healthy >suddenly every little thing I eat is subject to intense scrutiny from my mom >"anon, why are you eating so many eggs? that's too much cholesterol!" >"you shouldn't be eating avocados so often, they have a lot of fat in them!" >"you use too much olive oil, that's gotta be bad for you!" >"you're eating rice really often, I read online that carbs make you fat!" >"that's unhealthy to drink coffee/tea so often, caffeine is really bad for you!" (drinking soda before was fine tho) why is the mom like this

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anon downloads fotnite | /r/Greentext

>be me >download fortnite >kill like 15 twelve year olds easily >they barely even fight back >play fortnite
>be me >download fortnite >kill like 15 twelve year olds easily >they barely even fight back >play fortnite

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a normal day on /tv/ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 hours ago /tv/181112190/ /tv/181112190 8 REPLIES Anonymous 4 hours ago >>181112190 (OP) charlie the wee c--- 1 REPLY 1 REPLY who was in the wrong here? Anonymous 4 hours ago Charlie is a lil c--- biter C: 181112190 181112214 181112238 181112256 Anonymous 4 hours ago Why put your finger in a baby's mouth to begin with? It's like putting your d--- in a wasp nest and then acting surprised you now have honey under your foreskin 8 REPLIES 200
Anonymous 4 hours ago /tv/181112190/ /tv/181112190 8 REPLIES Anonymous 4 hours ago >>181112190 (OP) charlie the wee c--- 1 REPLY 1 REPLY who was in the wrong here? Anonymous 4 hours ago Charlie is a lil c--- biter C: 181112190 181112214 181112238 181112256 Anonymous 4 hours ago Why put your finger in a baby's mouth to begin with? It's like putting your d--- in a wasp nest and then acting surprised you now have honey under your foreskin 8 REPLIES 200

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Anon gets a kiwi | /r/Greentext

eturn] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] le: images - 2020-07-04T180854.264.jpg (22 KB, 554x554) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:12:08 No.56292592 >>56292621 >>56292623 >>56292664 >>56292698>>56293009>>5629319756293722 >>56295060 How is it to have sex with a Fitness girl? Better/Worse? Is it tighter? I'm talking about big but natural girls like megsquats >> Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:14:42 No.56292621 ► >>56296238 >>56292592 (OP) SOMEONE PLS POST THE BASED MEGSQUATS COOMER Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:14:52 No.56292623 ► >>56292592 (OP) >implying /fit/ has sex with anyone, let alone a /fit/ woman >> Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:17:57 No.56292664 ► Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:14:03 No.56294679 File: images (4).jpg (5 KB, 123x200) >enter gym Friday night >empty except for one blonde qt >decide to say hi >"thought I'd have the place to myself haha, I'm anon what's your name?" >"I'm Eshley noice to meet you" >instantly recoil at weird accent and ask her where she's from >"I'm a kiwi, from new zullund, what are you doing hier uts the weekind?" >"oh I'm always here, and you?" >"yis me too ivver sunce I qwut drunking I've bun hutting the jumm hard >trying my best not to laugh at her voice we ended up working out 'togither' and flirting heavily the whole time >after her last set she tells me >"I usually do cardio but my place is round the corner if you want to work up a swit.......wunk wunk" >go to her place and hop in shower with her >"anon you're jecked" >end up having sex on her bed and that's when I lost it >"yis yis" >"your duck is so good" >"why are you laughing so much haha" >I'm watching myself hit it from behind on a huge sliding wardrobe mirror cracking up >"ah yis f--- me deddy" >1 straight up fell off her convulsing with laughter >woke up this morning with worst ab DOMS in my life from laughing >>56294679 I like you anon >>56294729 >>56294791 >>56294817 >>56294856 >>56294911 >>56294965 >>56294987 >>56295007 >>56296548 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)19:08:09 No.56298925 File: BadrHappi.jpg (21 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:40:09 No.56294911 >>56294679 kek id laugh too >>56294679 >anon you're jecked Godbless you anon Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:24:53 No.56294791 ► File: B56091C8-1476-41B5-B64E-4(...).jpg (186 KB, 384x732) >>56294679 Kek put me in the screen cap Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)14:09:20 No.56296637 ► File: 1492828706868.gif (1.9 MB, 320x200) 33/10/29/5 the jumm work up a swit.....wunk wunk" ☐ Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)16:42:13 No.56297960 ► File: 1475516881367.jpg (51 KB, 342x380) >>56294679 O Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:52:29 No.56295007 File: 1576623690414.jpg (38 KB, 486x582) >>56294679 >hutting the junm hard F--- I can HEAR the accent kek Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:49:06 No.56294965 ► File: 1566864148744.gif (1.99 MB, 332x215) MAO LMAO Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)16:01:06 No.56297626 >>56294679 >read out loud >accent matches up perfect with this kiwi girl i dated once >>56294679 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:50:40 No.56294987 ► File: images (12).jpg (19 KB, 327x316) Anonymous 07/05/2 >>56294679 >wunk wunk Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)19:13:47 No. File: 1518411540090.jpg (21 KB, 474x296) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)14:04:53 No.56296606 >>56294679 Am Ozzie can confirm that the accent is legit. They also play it up for s---- and giggles like we do. >>56294679 >wunk wunk >>56294679 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)23:29:09 No.56300974 ► File: joy1.png (47 KB, 206x291) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)18:57:33 No.56298859 File: ckeked.jpg (71 KB, 640x427) joy >"ah yis f--- me deddy" Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)13:58:29 No.56296548 File: elrisitas.jpg (41 KB, 600x600) >>56294679 >not skipping ab day, even while getting cardio in you're a legend, 'anenn' >>56294679 wunk wunk >>56294679 >your duck is so good thanks anon I just blew oatmeal out my nose Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)23:53:13 No.56301179 >>56294679 >wunk wunk Someone please screencap this. Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)20:19:14 No.562993 File: giphy.gif (1.84 MB, 200x200) >>56294679 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:28:19 No.56 >>56294679 f--- are our accents really that bad
eturn] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] le: images - 2020-07-04T180854.264.jpg (22 KB, 554x554) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:12:08 No.56292592 >>56292621 >>56292623 >>56292664 >>56292698>>56293009>>5629319756293722 >>56295060 How is it to have sex with a Fitness girl? Better/Worse? Is it tighter? I'm talking about big but natural girls like megsquats >> Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:14:42 No.56292621 ► >>56296238 >>56292592 (OP) SOMEONE PLS POST THE BASED MEGSQUATS COOMER Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:14:52 No.56292623 ► >>56292592 (OP) >implying /fit/ has sex with anyone, let alone a /fit/ woman >> Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)07:17:57 No.56292664 ► Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:14:03 No.56294679 File: images (4).jpg (5 KB, 123x200) >enter gym Friday night >empty except for one blonde qt >decide to say hi >"thought I'd have the place to myself haha, I'm anon what's your name?" >"I'm Eshley noice to meet you" >instantly recoil at weird accent and ask her where she's from >"I'm a kiwi, from new zullund, what are you doing hier uts the weekind?" >"oh I'm always here, and you?" >"yis me too ivver sunce I qwut drunking I've bun hutting the jumm hard >trying my best not to laugh at her voice we ended up working out 'togither' and flirting heavily the whole time >after her last set she tells me >"I usually do cardio but my place is round the corner if you want to work up a swit.......wunk wunk" >go to her place and hop in shower with her >"anon you're jecked" >end up having sex on her bed and that's when I lost it >"yis yis" >"your duck is so good" >"why are you laughing so much haha" >I'm watching myself hit it from behind on a huge sliding wardrobe mirror cracking up >"ah yis f--- me deddy" >1 straight up fell off her convulsing with laughter >woke up this morning with worst ab DOMS in my life from laughing >>56294679 I like you anon >>56294729 >>56294791 >>56294817 >>56294856 >>56294911 >>56294965 >>56294987 >>56295007 >>56296548 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)19:08:09 No.56298925 File: BadrHappi.jpg (21 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:40:09 No.56294911 >>56294679 kek id laugh too >>56294679 >anon you're jecked Godbless you anon Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:24:53 No.56294791 ► File: B56091C8-1476-41B5-B64E-4(...).jpg (186 KB, 384x732) >>56294679 Kek put me in the screen cap Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)14:09:20 No.56296637 ► File: 1492828706868.gif (1.9 MB, 320x200) 33/10/29/5 the jumm work up a swit.....wunk wunk" ☐ Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)16:42:13 No.56297960 ► File: 1475516881367.jpg (51 KB, 342x380) >>56294679 O Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:52:29 No.56295007 File: 1576623690414.jpg (38 KB, 486x582) >>56294679 >hutting the junm hard F--- I can HEAR the accent kek Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:49:06 No.56294965 ► File: 1566864148744.gif (1.99 MB, 332x215) MAO LMAO Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)16:01:06 No.56297626 >>56294679 >read out loud >accent matches up perfect with this kiwi girl i dated once >>56294679 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:50:40 No.56294987 ► File: images (12).jpg (19 KB, 327x316) Anonymous 07/05/2 >>56294679 >wunk wunk Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)19:13:47 No. File: 1518411540090.jpg (21 KB, 474x296) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)14:04:53 No.56296606 >>56294679 Am Ozzie can confirm that the accent is legit. They also play it up for s---- and giggles like we do. >>56294679 >wunk wunk >>56294679 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)23:29:09 No.56300974 ► File: joy1.png (47 KB, 206x291) Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)18:57:33 No.56298859 File: ckeked.jpg (71 KB, 640x427) joy >"ah yis f--- me deddy" Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)13:58:29 No.56296548 File: elrisitas.jpg (41 KB, 600x600) >>56294679 >not skipping ab day, even while getting cardio in you're a legend, 'anenn' >>56294679 wunk wunk >>56294679 >your duck is so good thanks anon I just blew oatmeal out my nose Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)23:53:13 No.56301179 >>56294679 >wunk wunk Someone please screencap this. Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)20:19:14 No.562993 File: giphy.gif (1.84 MB, 200x200) >>56294679 Anonymous 07/05/20(Sun)10:28:19 No.56 >>56294679 f--- are our accents really that bad

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fuelled by rage | /r/Greentext

: Husband to spend life in prison for killing man he found with his wife .………44''/ Husband to spend life in priso(...) 92 KB JPG 02/25/23(Sat) 08:29:39 No.417528612 >Be honest person >Spouse cheats on you >Go and kill the guy who disrespected your home >Everyone acts like you're the crazy one >Get life in prison Can someone unironically explain this s--- world to me? Where is the f------ respect and honor? https://www.yahoo.com/news/want-him-pay-husband- spend-185046702.html : Anonymous (ID: QRqTF72a) = 02/25/23(Sat) 08:30:35 No.417528722 if your wife cheats on you you kill the wife, not the man it is never the mans fault >>417528769 # >>417530110 # >>417530646 # >>417530725 # >>417531001 # >>417531444 # >>417531856 # >>417532410 # >>417532897 # >>417533457 # >>417534670 # >>417534790 # >>417535099 # >>417536352 # >>417536653 # >>417540129 # >>417540207 # >>417540361 # >>417540845 # >>417542164 # >>417542332 # >>417544736 # >>417545266 # >>417546930 # >>417547350 # >>417547792 #
: Husband to spend life in prison for killing man he found with his wife .………44''/ Husband to spend life in priso(...) 92 KB JPG 02/25/23(Sat) 08:29:39 No.417528612 >Be honest person >Spouse cheats on you >Go and kill the guy who disrespected your home >Everyone acts like you're the crazy one >Get life in prison Can someone unironically explain this s--- world to me? Where is the f------ respect and honor? https://www.yahoo.com/news/want-him-pay-husband- spend-185046702.html : Anonymous (ID: QRqTF72a) = 02/25/23(Sat) 08:30:35 No.417528722 if your wife cheats on you you kill the wife, not the man it is never the mans fault >>417528769 # >>417530110 # >>417530646 # >>417530725 # >>417531001 # >>417531444 # >>417531856 # >>417532410 # >>417532897 # >>417533457 # >>417534670 # >>417534790 # >>417535099 # >>417536352 # >>417536653 # >>417540129 # >>417540207 # >>417540361 # >>417540845 # >>417542164 # >>417542332 # >>417544736 # >>417545266 # >>417546930 # >>417547350 # >>417547792 #

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Anon is an apple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 193 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous >*Keeps your doctor away* Heh, nothing personal kid 02/27/23(Mon)10:10:00 No.70101951 Nice try bigapple View Thread 02/27/23(Mon)10:18:54 No.70102002 Anonymous >>70101951 (OP) # >eating sugary poison keeps the doctor away 02/27/23(Mon)10:20:20 No.70102011
: Anonymous 193 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous >*Keeps your doctor away* Heh, nothing personal kid 02/27/23(Mon)10:10:00 No.70101951 Nice try bigapple View Thread 02/27/23(Mon)10:18:54 No.70102002 Anonymous >>70101951 (OP) # >eating sugary poison keeps the doctor away 02/27/23(Mon)10:20:20 No.70102011

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Anon is unfathomably based | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20230227-164403_Chrome.jpg 94 KB JPG >Wants to attain heaven >Commits every crime possible
Screenshot_20230227-164403_Chrome.jpg 94 KB JPG >Wants to attain heaven >Commits every crime possible

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Anon springs a leak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Spending time with girlfriend on Saturday >Try to initiate sex, she says she's not in the mood >Really apologetic about it >Tell her it's not a big deal, I'll go home and j------- and that she shouldn't feel bad about it >Tells me not to until tomorrow 922 KB PNG 02/26/23(Sun)21:48:59 No.72381515 >Sunday >Wake up and leak c-- throughout the morning >She finally wakes up >Ask if I can j------- >She says no >We spend the day together >Go out and get drinks, go to the mall and bought stuff, watched stuff back at her place >The entire time I was leaking c-- >Ask if she wants to do anything >She finally lets me nut Why did she make me wait /r9k/ : Anonymous >>72381515 (OP) # I'm really tired of hearing about fake robots and their mundane normie horseshit. I want to go back to the days where even knowing what anime was made you an untouchable shitpig. Anyway sage f--- you op >>72381565 # 02/26/23(Sun)21:51:56 No.72381549 : Anonymous >>72381515 (OP) # >The entire time I was leaking c-- W-- dude, you got a leaky d---? That's f------ weird dude... Your d---- not supposed to leak all day even if you're all horned up. You might want to get that looked at 02/26/23(Sun)21:52:33 No.72381556 02/26/23(Sun)21:53:12 No.72381565 : Anonymous >>72381556 (You) # I dunno. That's just how I am. I leak c-- when I'm horny.
: Anonymous >Spending time with girlfriend on Saturday >Try to initiate sex, she says she's not in the mood >Really apologetic about it >Tell her it's not a big deal, I'll go home and j------- and that she shouldn't feel bad about it >Tells me not to until tomorrow 922 KB PNG 02/26/23(Sun)21:48:59 No.72381515 >Sunday >Wake up and leak c-- throughout the morning >She finally wakes up >Ask if I can j------- >She says no >We spend the day together >Go out and get drinks, go to the mall and bought stuff, watched stuff back at her place >The entire time I was leaking c-- >Ask if she wants to do anything >She finally lets me nut Why did she make me wait /r9k/ : Anonymous >>72381515 (OP) # I'm really tired of hearing about fake robots and their mundane normie horseshit. I want to go back to the days where even knowing what anime was made you an untouchable shitpig. Anyway sage f--- you op >>72381565 # 02/26/23(Sun)21:51:56 No.72381549 : Anonymous >>72381515 (OP) # >The entire time I was leaking c-- W-- dude, you got a leaky d---? That's f------ weird dude... Your d---- not supposed to leak all day even if you're all horned up. You might want to get that looked at 02/26/23(Sun)21:52:33 No.72381556 02/26/23(Sun)21:53:12 No.72381565 : Anonymous >>72381556 (You) # I dunno. That's just how I am. I leak c-- when I'm horny.

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Anon is a cashier. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/23(Mon)18:57:54 No.72384862 >just started working as a cashier at Walmart >day 1: guy walks up with a single banana >"That'll be 25 cents sir" 687 KB PNG >he hands me a dollar and says "keep the change" >I freeze up and stare at him blankly for a few seconds >"Uh sir, I owe you 31 cents" >he starts laughing >"I was testing you, you passed" >gives me a piece of paper with his number >what kind of weird initiation ritual did I just go through?
: Anonymous 02/27/23(Mon)18:57:54 No.72384862 >just started working as a cashier at Walmart >day 1: guy walks up with a single banana >"That'll be 25 cents sir" 687 KB PNG >he hands me a dollar and says "keep the change" >I freeze up and stare at him blankly for a few seconds >"Uh sir, I owe you 31 cents" >he starts laughing >"I was testing you, you passed" >gives me a piece of paper with his number >what kind of weird initiation ritual did I just go through?

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Anon goes to the gym. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/23(Mon)15:49:45 No.72383773 >be me >decide to finally go to gym for first time >feeling pumped, ready to get ripped >get there and realize I have no idea what to do 642 KB PNG >try to lift weights, end up dropping them on my foot >ouch.jpg >guy next to me laughs and says "first time, huh?" >try to play it cool and say "yeah, just warming up" >decide to try the treadmill instead >set it to max speed, feel like a boss >realize I don't know how to stop it >start flailing my arms like a maniac >finally manage to hit the emergency stop button >everyone in the gym is staring at me now >try to play it cool again and say "just testing the safety features" >decide I've had enough for one day and leave >realize I parked in the wrong spot and now my car has a boot on it >great first day at the gym
: Anonymous 02/27/23(Mon)15:49:45 No.72383773 >be me >decide to finally go to gym for first time >feeling pumped, ready to get ripped >get there and realize I have no idea what to do 642 KB PNG >try to lift weights, end up dropping them on my foot >ouch.jpg >guy next to me laughs and says "first time, huh?" >try to play it cool and say "yeah, just warming up" >decide to try the treadmill instead >set it to max speed, feel like a boss >realize I don't know how to stop it >start flailing my arms like a maniac >finally manage to hit the emergency stop button >everyone in the gym is staring at me now >try to play it cool again and say "just testing the safety features" >decide I've had enough for one day and leave >realize I parked in the wrong spot and now my car has a boot on it >great first day at the gym

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