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"Real chess players know that just because you lost a Queen doesn't mean you give up on a King

crazy-brazilian Follow Anonymous * 103 KB JPG 06/02/22(Thu)22:38:37 No.879367533 >be me, playing World of Warcraft >because of reasons that would be a longer story than this one, end up regularly with three german guys >they're all fluent in english, only switching back to german to briefly discuss how to say something in english so I can understand, too >one guy is my age, one is in his 40s or 50s, and the last one is 15 >from the way they talk, I realise that the kid and the 40-year-old know each other irl >at first I assume it's father and son, but apparently the kid is this guy's daughter's boyfriend >we play together, finish quests, a year goes by >become legit friends, I start learning german on duolingo to understand at least the basics >the kid and the other guy's daughter break up >the kid's beat up about it, I worry that we'll break apart too >I don't have friends irl, this possibility is unironically devastating >fortunately the gang stays together, we still play just the same >one day we're waiting for the 40-something to show up, he's late by like 40 minutes and he's never late >he logs in, and on the background of his mic we hear what sounds like a young woman yelling something in german before slamming a door >I ask the others what that was, the one my age answers first "Didn't catch the whole thing, something about someone not being allowed to start a collection. Was that your girl, Ulf? Sounds stormy in there." "She's good, she's good. She has a new boyfriend, that's all." "What, you don't like him?" "Ah, no, no. Seems like a good boy and all. I just asked her if he plays Warcraft." its-grape-juice-i-swear Follow m----------- we broke up over a year ago why did i just find out u still play chess on messenger with my dad stop 8:05 AM 01 May 21 Twitter for iPhone 27.9K Retweets and comments 305K Likes same energy 27 Red Sonnet @Red_Sonnet 1d Replying to @Texts Auras Real chess players know that just because you lost a queen doesn't mean you give up on a king 108 2,454 29.6K
crazy-brazilian Follow Anonymous * 103 KB JPG 06/02/22(Thu)22:38:37 No.879367533 >be me, playing World of Warcraft >because of reasons that would be a longer story than this one, end up regularly with three german guys >they're all fluent in english, only switching back to german to briefly discuss how to say something in english so I can understand, too >one guy is my age, one is in his 40s or 50s, and the last one is 15 >from the way they talk, I realise that the kid and the 40-year-old know each other irl >at first I assume it's father and son, but apparently the kid is this guy's daughter's boyfriend >we play together, finish quests, a year goes by >become legit friends, I start learning german on duolingo to understand at least the basics >the kid and the other guy's daughter break up >the kid's beat up about it, I worry that we'll break apart too >I don't have friends irl, this possibility is unironically devastating >fortunately the gang stays together, we still play just the same >one day we're waiting for the 40-something to show up, he's late by like 40 minutes and he's never late >he logs in, and on the background of his mic we hear what sounds like a young woman yelling something in german before slamming a door >I ask the others what that was, the one my age answers first "Didn't catch the whole thing, something about someone not being allowed to start a collection. Was that your girl, Ulf? Sounds stormy in there." "She's good, she's good. She has a new boyfriend, that's all." "What, you don't like him?" "Ah, no, no. Seems like a good boy and all. I just asked her if he plays Warcraft." its-grape-juice-i-swear Follow m----------- we broke up over a year ago why did i just find out u still play chess on messenger with my dad stop 8:05 AM 01 May 21 Twitter for iPhone 27.9K Retweets and comments 305K Likes same energy 27 Red Sonnet @Red_Sonnet 1d Replying to @Texts Auras Real chess players know that just because you lost a queen doesn't mean you give up on a king 108 2,454 29.6K

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German humor | /r/Greentext

195 KB JPG >3 vampires walk into a bar >one is from Germany, one is from Russia and the other is from England >The German vampire orders a beer with a shot of blood >The Russian vampire orders a vodka with a shot of blood as well >The English vampires orders a cup of hot water >The two others ask him: "why don't you drink any blood?" >The English vampire pulls out a used tampon and says: "It's tea time!"
195 KB JPG >3 vampires walk into a bar >one is from Germany, one is from Russia and the other is from England >The German vampire orders a beer with a shot of blood >The Russian vampire orders a vodka with a shot of blood as well >The English vampires orders a cup of hot water >The two others ask him: "why don't you drink any blood?" >The English vampire pulls out a used tampon and says: "It's tea time!"

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Anon has a coworker. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Stacy's Hidden Life 599 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)12:15:29 No.75175399 >be me >get Stacy coworker at retail job >early 20's, fine body, blonde, looks like young pic related >really nice, has a cool look, reads big books like Game of Thrones >has a chad bf who makes a lot of money but she still works to have her own income >slowly begin to realize something >other women immediately hate her >Karens and roasties go into giga cope and seethe mode the moment they see her >they act rude and try to say underhanded remarks but she obviously has the high ground >really enjoy the schadenfreude of roasties getting viciously mogged just by her standing there Meanwhile random guys are bringing her gifts and buying her lunch everyday. Sorry it had to happen like this Karens.
Anonymous Stacy's Hidden Life 599 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)12:15:29 No.75175399 >be me >get Stacy coworker at retail job >early 20's, fine body, blonde, looks like young pic related >really nice, has a cool look, reads big books like Game of Thrones >has a chad bf who makes a lot of money but she still works to have her own income >slowly begin to realize something >other women immediately hate her >Karens and roasties go into giga cope and seethe mode the moment they see her >they act rude and try to say underhanded remarks but she obviously has the high ground >really enjoy the schadenfreude of roasties getting viciously mogged just by her standing there Meanwhile random guys are bringing her gifts and buying her lunch everyday. Sorry it had to happen like this Karens.

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An oldie but a goodie. | /r/Greentext

File: creditcards.jpg (73 KB, 1200x800) LICEN 0123 45 WALKE 40 Who else here beat the system? Anonymous 01/04/21 (Mon)17:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] No new posts [Post a Reply]
File: creditcards.jpg (73 KB, 1200x800) LICEN 0123 45 WALKE 40 Who else here beat the system? Anonymous 01/04/21 (Mon)17:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] No new posts [Post a Reply]

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Anon just has that look to him | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)22:04:31 No.908205167 >Most recent job only worked a few hours >Made the most money I ever made >Got fired not even lasting a month because apparently I just make people uncomfortable with my presence 124 KB JPG There's no fixing this. My retail job wont take me back either. It's been months and no place is responding to me. I'm not a criminal I don't know why they wont respond. I envy wage cucks.
Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)22:04:31 No.908205167 >Most recent job only worked a few hours >Made the most money I ever made >Got fired not even lasting a month because apparently I just make people uncomfortable with my presence 124 KB JPG There's no fixing this. My retail job wont take me back either. It's been months and no place is responding to me. I'm not a criminal I don't know why they wont respond. I envy wage cucks.

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Anon life is over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 149 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)19:51:13 No.908201051 >be me, robot KHV, pretty much an incel without the typical woman hating >might be bi. idk >message trans escort for service >she says chemistry is important, asks for pic >i send it >she doesn't say it, but seems kinda disappointed >chat on insta for couple days, try to show her I'm not a robot and I'm a completely normal person by sending her reels and memes She just called me annoying. what do? I'm a complete robot and I have never touched a girl before. Did I just get rejected by an trans escort? I thought they'd be more understanding than cis escorts. Should I just end it? Am I gay and retarded? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z! I'm not even that ugly, and I'm somewhat muscular. I'm a solid 4/10, if I lost weight, easily a 7. What the f--- is even going on anymore? I'm 21 and this is my life. No partying, no true friends, offering half a weeks salary to have sex for the first time in my life and STILL getting rejected. Am I spiraling into true inceldom and hatred? Is it too late for me? Who the f--- even gets rejected by escorts? I thought the whole point was if you gave them money they wouldn't care what you looked like. I'm completely clean and mentally sane and I still can't get a smidgen of p---- (d---, in this case). Is this the end of the road?
: Anonymous 149 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)19:51:13 No.908201051 >be me, robot KHV, pretty much an incel without the typical woman hating >might be bi. idk >message trans escort for service >she says chemistry is important, asks for pic >i send it >she doesn't say it, but seems kinda disappointed >chat on insta for couple days, try to show her I'm not a robot and I'm a completely normal person by sending her reels and memes She just called me annoying. what do? I'm a complete robot and I have never touched a girl before. Did I just get rejected by an trans escort? I thought they'd be more understanding than cis escorts. Should I just end it? Am I gay and retarded? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z! I'm not even that ugly, and I'm somewhat muscular. I'm a solid 4/10, if I lost weight, easily a 7. What the f--- is even going on anymore? I'm 21 and this is my life. No partying, no true friends, offering half a weeks salary to have sex for the first time in my life and STILL getting rejected. Am I spiraling into true inceldom and hatred? Is it too late for me? Who the f--- even gets rejected by escorts? I thought the whole point was if you gave them money they wouldn't care what you looked like. I'm completely clean and mentally sane and I still can't get a smidgen of p---- (d---, in this case). Is this the end of the road?

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Anon frees himself from addiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My road to sobriety >be me 32 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue) 10:11:20 No.908203594 >Addicted_fagottini.jpeg >Heavy into cocaine, alcohol and m----------- >One day i wake up and realize I don't want to be an addict before >Devise a brilliant plan while I masturbate in the morning as I take a s--- >I get the urge to do cocaine, so I start making packets of flour and random ass seasonings and convince myself it's cocaine >I snort it and it feels f------ terrible >Stops doing cocaine >Need_drinking.wav, the plan continues >I make the most disgusting cocktail by pouring vodka in a glass and dissolving some freshly harvested dingle berry in there, hair for garnish >Vodka martini, shaken not stirred >I drink the now brown drink and I puke all over the floor, haven't touched a drink after that and it's been a year >Final boss music begins, I must face my coomer self >I fail the first attempts with sheer power alone >I make a mix of acetone and lemon juice >I get horny and start fapping, so I pour the anti fapping chemical I've created, my c--- starts looking like a hairless cat >Sill want to fap even with a severely damaged d--- >My now brilliant sober mind remembers physics from school, in particular how metals like electricity or some s--- >Push a rod up my ass and taze the rod for maximum electrocution damage >Its_very_effevtive.mp4 >Gets erectile dysfunction but i don't fap anymore I did it bros, I'm finally free.
: Anonymous My road to sobriety >be me 32 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue) 10:11:20 No.908203594 >Addicted_fagottini.jpeg >Heavy into cocaine, alcohol and m----------- >One day i wake up and realize I don't want to be an addict before >Devise a brilliant plan while I masturbate in the morning as I take a s--- >I get the urge to do cocaine, so I start making packets of flour and random ass seasonings and convince myself it's cocaine >I snort it and it feels f------ terrible >Stops doing cocaine >Need_drinking.wav, the plan continues >I make the most disgusting cocktail by pouring vodka in a glass and dissolving some freshly harvested dingle berry in there, hair for garnish >Vodka martini, shaken not stirred >I drink the now brown drink and I puke all over the floor, haven't touched a drink after that and it's been a year >Final boss music begins, I must face my coomer self >I fail the first attempts with sheer power alone >I make a mix of acetone and lemon juice >I get horny and start fapping, so I pour the anti fapping chemical I've created, my c--- starts looking like a hairless cat >Sill want to fap even with a severely damaged d--- >My now brilliant sober mind remembers physics from school, in particular how metals like electricity or some s--- >Push a rod up my ass and taze the rod for maximum electrocution damage >Its_very_effevtive.mp4 >Gets erectile dysfunction but i don't fap anymore I did it bros, I'm finally free.

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Anon Goes Clothes Shopping | /r/Greentext

File: 1696896244213913.jpg (17 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)23:35:47 No.17851045 ► >>17851058 >>17851171 >>17851956 >>17853636 >>17853639 >>17853759 >>17855150 >"100% verified [European nation] cotton" >Go to store >"Made in China" >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)01:00:34 No.17851171 ► File: 1692851975942777.jpg (354 KB, 3000x1680) >>17851058 >>17851045 (OP) NOW YUO SEE... >2500€ Premium Piece of Clothing >Made in Vietnam, Made in Bangladesh >Cashmere >20% Polyester, 40% Cotton, 30% Alpaca, 10% Cashmere, 100% Cupro Lining, >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)07:40:06 No.17851824 ► File: IMG_0164.jpg (120 KB, 250x323) 方大利风情旅游区欢 WELCOME TO ITALIAN STYLE TOWN >fine Italian wool Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)09:57:37 No.17851956 ► >>17851045 (OP) >MADE IN ITALY (big letters highlighted on website) >contains italian* yarn (microscopic letters on back of tag) >made in bangladesh. assembled in toilet. follow care tag to ensure lasting enjoyment. do not wash. lay flat to dry. no sun. discoloration resulting from exposure to light is not defect - contribute to unique characteristic of special garment. CAUTION- do not sit on light colored upholstery. >Chinese characters and gobbledygook squiggle line writings >engrish >No Refunds. Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:08:39 No.17853033 >'"""'premium"*" Polyester Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:12:51 No.17853042 File: 1636816772766.png (453 KB, 521x521) >heritage line >'"""'made in USA >actually made in changladesh but the label is sewn on in Guam >300+tip ☐ Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:43:48 No.17853636 ► >>17851045 (OP) >grow cotton in eu >ship cotton to china to be woven into fabric >ship fabric to bangladesh to be sewn into clothes >ship clothes back to eu problem, regulators? Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:49:44 No.17853639 ► File: 1691202362621342.jpg (30 KB, 500x500) >>17851045 (OP) >store says made in America >receive jacket >made in Brooklyn Thanks Crye Precision
File: 1696896244213913.jpg (17 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)23:35:47 No.17851045 ► >>17851058 >>17851171 >>17851956 >>17853636 >>17853639 >>17853759 >>17855150 >"100% verified [European nation] cotton" >Go to store >"Made in China" >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)01:00:34 No.17851171 ► File: 1692851975942777.jpg (354 KB, 3000x1680) >>17851058 >>17851045 (OP) NOW YUO SEE... >2500€ Premium Piece of Clothing >Made in Vietnam, Made in Bangladesh >Cashmere >20% Polyester, 40% Cotton, 30% Alpaca, 10% Cashmere, 100% Cupro Lining, >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)07:40:06 No.17851824 ► File: IMG_0164.jpg (120 KB, 250x323) 方大利风情旅游区欢 WELCOME TO ITALIAN STYLE TOWN >fine Italian wool Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)09:57:37 No.17851956 ► >>17851045 (OP) >MADE IN ITALY (big letters highlighted on website) >contains italian* yarn (microscopic letters on back of tag) >made in bangladesh. assembled in toilet. follow care tag to ensure lasting enjoyment. do not wash. lay flat to dry. no sun. discoloration resulting from exposure to light is not defect - contribute to unique characteristic of special garment. CAUTION- do not sit on light colored upholstery. >Chinese characters and gobbledygook squiggle line writings >engrish >No Refunds. Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:08:39 No.17853033 >'"""'premium"*" Polyester Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:12:51 No.17853042 File: 1636816772766.png (453 KB, 521x521) >heritage line >'"""'made in USA >actually made in changladesh but the label is sewn on in Guam >300+tip ☐ Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:43:48 No.17853636 ► >>17851045 (OP) >grow cotton in eu >ship cotton to china to be woven into fabric >ship fabric to bangladesh to be sewn into clothes >ship clothes back to eu problem, regulators? Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:49:44 No.17853639 ► File: 1691202362621342.jpg (30 KB, 500x500) >>17851045 (OP) >store says made in America >receive jacket >made in Brooklyn Thanks Crye Precision

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Anon gets seduced. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)10:07:19 No.75174400 >seduced into a relationship by a guy pretending to be a girl sending me texts generated with ChatGPT
Anonymous 16 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)10:07:19 No.75174400 >seduced into a relationship by a guy pretending to be a girl sending me texts generated with ChatGPT

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)08:52:33 No.75173615 >19 yo binon >having a difficult time dating >match with a cute guy on tinder >have a really great date, we talked for hours and wandered around town >we have a ton in common and like all the same video games and anime >ask him what he wants out of this >"I'm just trying to make friends" >feel kind of hurt since I wanted more but could see myself being genuinely good friends with this person >think I'll give myself some time to cool off and talk to him later about being friends >constantly procrastinate and think "I'll message him later" >couple of years pass >go on Facebook and see a post from him >someone hacked his account to make a post selling bootleg raybans >there's tons of comments calling the person who hacked the account a disrespectful pos >look more into it and it turns out he died 6 months ago >feel devastated even though I really didn't know him >not even sure if I have the right to be sad about his death I'm sorry Alex. I wish I could've been your friend. I felt like we genuinely had a connection
: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)08:52:33 No.75173615 >19 yo binon >having a difficult time dating >match with a cute guy on tinder >have a really great date, we talked for hours and wandered around town >we have a ton in common and like all the same video games and anime >ask him what he wants out of this >"I'm just trying to make friends" >feel kind of hurt since I wanted more but could see myself being genuinely good friends with this person >think I'll give myself some time to cool off and talk to him later about being friends >constantly procrastinate and think "I'll message him later" >couple of years pass >go on Facebook and see a post from him >someone hacked his account to make a post selling bootleg raybans >there's tons of comments calling the person who hacked the account a disrespectful pos >look more into it and it turns out he died 6 months ago >feel devastated even though I really didn't know him >not even sure if I have the right to be sad about his death I'm sorry Alex. I wish I could've been your friend. I felt like we genuinely had a connection

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German humor strikes again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)20:25:03 No.188990604 German place names be like >Fleugenbergen-am-Gliezenplatz 6 KB JPG French place names be like >Riveoaueueuaxiiussaillleseaux (pronounced "Ro") Polish place names be like >SzszszczszczrzrzczsznrcscscsCS : Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)20:33:12 No.188990863 >>188990604 (OP) # British place names be like >Faggotshire-Upon-My-Ass >pronounced: Fugsha >>188990895 # >>188991094 #
: Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)20:25:03 No.188990604 German place names be like >Fleugenbergen-am-Gliezenplatz 6 KB JPG French place names be like >Riveoaueueuaxiiussaillleseaux (pronounced "Ro") Polish place names be like >SzszszczszczrzrzczsznrcscscsCS : Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)20:33:12 No.188990863 >>188990604 (OP) # British place names be like >Faggotshire-Upon-My-Ass >pronounced: Fugsha >>188990895 # >>188991094 #

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Leafanon has some things to say | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [+] 8 KB PNG 10/24/23(Tue)09:21:43 No.189057191 >40% white >Zero national unity everyone hates each other >Their only 'values' are sociopathically making as much money as possible at the expense of other people in their country >All of the races hate each other >Non-stop illegal immigration >Culture is rap music, drag queens, trannies, BLM, LGBT, Zionism, and BLACKED >Money is their god and personal greed is the only shared value >Jews are in total control of every facet of their civilization and plunder the nation for everything they can >Still the greatest superpower the world has ever seen How do they do it?
: Anonymous [+] 8 KB PNG 10/24/23(Tue)09:21:43 No.189057191 >40% white >Zero national unity everyone hates each other >Their only 'values' are sociopathically making as much money as possible at the expense of other people in their country >All of the races hate each other >Non-stop illegal immigration >Culture is rap music, drag queens, trannies, BLM, LGBT, Zionism, and BLACKED >Money is their god and personal greed is the only shared value >Jews are in total control of every facet of their civilization and plunder the nation for everything they can >Still the greatest superpower the world has ever seen How do they do it?

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Anon shares with his dog | /r/Greentext

V DUMP C-- ON FLOOR Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)17:39:39 No.908157311 >>908157408 >>908161141 >>908161615 >>908161907 >>908162313 >>908162689 >>908163244 >fap >clean d--- in cup of water >sperm wriggles out end of d--- >leave it there YOUR PEP LICKS >carry on browsing IT >get thirsty >drink >see sperm in glass >oh well >carry on drinking this feels so wrong but so right Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)17:41:56 No.908157408 >>908157754 >>908157979 >>908157311 (OP) my log licked up my ass slime (natural ass lube) Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)17:55:06 No.908157979 >>908158824 >>908159820 >>908157408 you have one pet log? i have tree Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)18:14:42 No.908158824 >>908157979 Just tree? I got a birch of 'em >>908160094
V DUMP C-- ON FLOOR Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)17:39:39 No.908157311 >>908157408 >>908161141 >>908161615 >>908161907 >>908162313 >>908162689 >>908163244 >fap >clean d--- in cup of water >sperm wriggles out end of d--- >leave it there YOUR PEP LICKS >carry on browsing IT >get thirsty >drink >see sperm in glass >oh well >carry on drinking this feels so wrong but so right Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)17:41:56 No.908157408 >>908157754 >>908157979 >>908157311 (OP) my log licked up my ass slime (natural ass lube) Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)17:55:06 No.908157979 >>908158824 >>908159820 >>908157408 you have one pet log? i have tree Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)18:14:42 No.908158824 >>908157979 Just tree? I got a birch of 'em >>908160094

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anon sleeps with something | /r/Greentext

File: 5844-boykisser.png (68 KB, 500x500) ■ Is it possible to sleep with d--- in my mouth? kittyboy gaming (ID: TEyg3hlk) 10/23/23(Mon)13:53:42 No.18949513 ► The answer is Yes, I had a boyfriend that I did this with multiple times... at least three occasions that I can remember. Having a penis in my mouth is very soothing, like a pacifier to a baby. Here's how it worked: he would lay on his side, and I would spoon around his knees with my head propped up by a pillow so that my face was even with his C---. We would both be excited by it at the beginning so there was always an initial intense session resulting in an orgasm, and once that was out of the way we would drift off to sleep. He would lose his erection after that first orgasm, allowing me to snuggle up against him and just relax with his limp C--- filling my mouth. While I would gently suckle on him while drifting off, once I was asleep that stopped and my mouth would just hold his C--- while we slept. REM sleep causes erections, so several times during the night I would be woken up by the C--- in my mouth growing too big for my mouth to contain. (Sadly I've never mastered being able to d----------.) Let me tell you, there is no greater feeling than the initial moment of confusion of crossing over from a dream into reality and realizing your mouth is actually full of C---. Upon waking up I would start sucking again, which would lead to him c------ again, and then we would both drift off to sleep again, neither one of us having said a word. And then the whole cycle would repeat again and again until morning. Now the drawback to all this is that we were both having our REM cycle interrupted all night, and we would both be exhausted all the next day. As a result we didn't do this all the time but saved it for a special treat. The memories of those nights and that feeling of waking up with my mouth full are some of the best sexual memories of my life.
File: 5844-boykisser.png (68 KB, 500x500) ■ Is it possible to sleep with d--- in my mouth? kittyboy gaming (ID: TEyg3hlk) 10/23/23(Mon)13:53:42 No.18949513 ► The answer is Yes, I had a boyfriend that I did this with multiple times... at least three occasions that I can remember. Having a penis in my mouth is very soothing, like a pacifier to a baby. Here's how it worked: he would lay on his side, and I would spoon around his knees with my head propped up by a pillow so that my face was even with his C---. We would both be excited by it at the beginning so there was always an initial intense session resulting in an orgasm, and once that was out of the way we would drift off to sleep. He would lose his erection after that first orgasm, allowing me to snuggle up against him and just relax with his limp C--- filling my mouth. While I would gently suckle on him while drifting off, once I was asleep that stopped and my mouth would just hold his C--- while we slept. REM sleep causes erections, so several times during the night I would be woken up by the C--- in my mouth growing too big for my mouth to contain. (Sadly I've never mastered being able to d----------.) Let me tell you, there is no greater feeling than the initial moment of confusion of crossing over from a dream into reality and realizing your mouth is actually full of C---. Upon waking up I would start sucking again, which would lead to him c------ again, and then we would both drift off to sleep again, neither one of us having said a word. And then the whole cycle would repeat again and again until morning. Now the drawback to all this is that we were both having our REM cycle interrupted all night, and we would both be exhausted all the next day. As a result we didn't do this all the time but saved it for a special treat. The memories of those nights and that feeling of waking up with my mouth full are some of the best sexual memories of my life.

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Anon is a Radiohead fan | /r/Greentext

File: 1528234561595.png (1.37 MB, 1108x1079) Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:03:26 No.97228329 >have to listen to OK Computer in full every evening >cannot remember the last time I didn't >know every song word for word I can't do it anymore bros Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:04:14 No.97228338 I picture that Imao why would someone do that Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:05:46 No.97228362 >>97228382 >>97228385 >>97228946 >>97228338 I don't know, but it is something I NEED to do every night. I cannot picture what i would do if I missed a night. I would be a wreck. >>97228362 Throw you phone and speakers into a lake Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:06:58 No.97228385 >>97228396 >>97228362 but you are already a wreck, anon Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu)10:36:19 No.97228946 >>97229187 >>97228362 Listen to OK Computer every evening, and then listen to your favourite album. Going deaf isn't that bad, anon. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:40:07 No.97229016 >>97229187 >>97228329 (OP) dont listen to these pseuds okc is a great album. you should lay off listening to it so that way you don't ruin it for yourself. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:41:09 No.97229035 ► >>97229187 Try The Bends once. See if having the (actual best) Radiohead album instead fixes it Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:48:23 No.97229187 >>97230637 >>97230657 >>97233648 >>97234667 >>97234906 File: 1537064762701.png (535 KB, 827x647) >>97229035 >>97229016 >>97228946 Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu)11:53:30 No.97230637 >>97229187 based OCD-f-- I don't know if you guys really understand. I HAVE to listen to this album, or something terrible will happen. I can't miss a night. I've heard every other Radiohead album, and I listen to tons of other music, but every evening I NEED to listen to OK Computer or I will literally be up all night sweating. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)14:27:50 No.97233662 >>97228329 (OP) S----- band. s----- album. overall just cringe Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)14:28:52 No.97233683 >>97228329 (OP) radiohead is s--- and cringe >>97228362 Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu)11:54:43 No.97230657 >>97229187 get help, for real >>97229187 what the hell? can you explain it further? >>97228385 even more of a wreck. Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu) 12:57:20 No.97231954 >>97230657 side 2 of help is granny s--- ocd OKC Dur Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)11:55:09 No.97230667 >>97228329 (OP) too bad you could be listening to amnesiac >>97231954 Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)11:54:43 No.97230658 why are you suffering. i did this but with DG steroids, i came out superfine ;) >>97230667 ***** Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:53:58 No.97235153 use a very low volume >>97231874 Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:29:09 No.97234684 >>97228329 (OP) Why. Why. Why. Just take a small break. You're disassociating man. Listen to it backwards. Stop listening to Radiohead man it's a bad habit man. You don't need this for you man. You can do it if you put your mind to it. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:40:42 No.97234906 >>97229187 Sounds like some kind of OCD. The best thing to do is write down everything that you think will happen if you don't listen to the album, be as specific as possible, then once it's all written down, use logic and reason to deduce that there is no correlation between you not listening to it and the things happening. OR you could convince yourself that it's no big deal if those things actually happen, and that you'd rather them happen than you not listen to OKC. The more you don't listen to it, the easier it becomes. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:36:31 No.97234828 >>97228329 (OP) I was stuck at college for the past winter and I used to just walk around the college town and listen to music all night. In the freezing cold by myself just listening to music. Every single night. It's weird I hated being out there, but now I kinda miss it. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu) 15:43:05 No.97234947 kind of f----- up the main way to address ocd is literally just to suffer until your brain normalizes it how is it fair to be born like this Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:30:10 No.97234698 ive never listened to radiohead and i make fun of radiohead fans online alot
File: 1528234561595.png (1.37 MB, 1108x1079) Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:03:26 No.97228329 >have to listen to OK Computer in full every evening >cannot remember the last time I didn't >know every song word for word I can't do it anymore bros Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:04:14 No.97228338 I picture that Imao why would someone do that Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:05:46 No.97228362 >>97228382 >>97228385 >>97228946 >>97228338 I don't know, but it is something I NEED to do every night. I cannot picture what i would do if I missed a night. I would be a wreck. >>97228362 Throw you phone and speakers into a lake Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:06:58 No.97228385 >>97228396 >>97228362 but you are already a wreck, anon Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu)10:36:19 No.97228946 >>97229187 >>97228362 Listen to OK Computer every evening, and then listen to your favourite album. Going deaf isn't that bad, anon. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:40:07 No.97229016 >>97229187 >>97228329 (OP) dont listen to these pseuds okc is a great album. you should lay off listening to it so that way you don't ruin it for yourself. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:41:09 No.97229035 ► >>97229187 Try The Bends once. See if having the (actual best) Radiohead album instead fixes it Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:48:23 No.97229187 >>97230637 >>97230657 >>97233648 >>97234667 >>97234906 File: 1537064762701.png (535 KB, 827x647) >>97229035 >>97229016 >>97228946 Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu)11:53:30 No.97230637 >>97229187 based OCD-f-- I don't know if you guys really understand. I HAVE to listen to this album, or something terrible will happen. I can't miss a night. I've heard every other Radiohead album, and I listen to tons of other music, but every evening I NEED to listen to OK Computer or I will literally be up all night sweating. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)14:27:50 No.97233662 >>97228329 (OP) S----- band. s----- album. overall just cringe Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)14:28:52 No.97233683 >>97228329 (OP) radiohead is s--- and cringe >>97228362 Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu)11:54:43 No.97230657 >>97229187 get help, for real >>97229187 what the hell? can you explain it further? >>97228385 even more of a wreck. Anonymous 08/06/20 (Thu) 12:57:20 No.97231954 >>97230657 side 2 of help is granny s--- ocd OKC Dur Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)11:55:09 No.97230667 >>97228329 (OP) too bad you could be listening to amnesiac >>97231954 Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)11:54:43 No.97230658 why are you suffering. i did this but with DG steroids, i came out superfine ;) >>97230667 ***** Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:53:58 No.97235153 use a very low volume >>97231874 Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:29:09 No.97234684 >>97228329 (OP) Why. Why. Why. Just take a small break. You're disassociating man. Listen to it backwards. Stop listening to Radiohead man it's a bad habit man. You don't need this for you man. You can do it if you put your mind to it. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:40:42 No.97234906 >>97229187 Sounds like some kind of OCD. The best thing to do is write down everything that you think will happen if you don't listen to the album, be as specific as possible, then once it's all written down, use logic and reason to deduce that there is no correlation between you not listening to it and the things happening. OR you could convince yourself that it's no big deal if those things actually happen, and that you'd rather them happen than you not listen to OKC. The more you don't listen to it, the easier it becomes. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:36:31 No.97234828 >>97228329 (OP) I was stuck at college for the past winter and I used to just walk around the college town and listen to music all night. In the freezing cold by myself just listening to music. Every single night. It's weird I hated being out there, but now I kinda miss it. Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu) 15:43:05 No.97234947 kind of f----- up the main way to address ocd is literally just to suffer until your brain normalizes it how is it fair to be born like this Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)15:30:10 No.97234698 ive never listened to radiohead and i make fun of radiohead fans online alot

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Anon hooks up with a magician | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)14:19:09 No.908148608 >>908148815 >>908148922 >>908149399 >>908149833 >>908150063 >>908150581 >>908151250 >>908151601 >>908152013 >>908152159 >>908152539 >>908148322 >be me >dating application mode >swipe swipe >meet up with girl >we getting down to the business transaction >offer her $200 >she agrees >tells me to get on the bed and take my clothes off >do that >she turns the lights off >she disappears from view >ask her where she is gone >correct myself and point out it's not because she's dark skinned and the room has gone dark >i wasn't being racist >i don't believe in stereotypes and stuff like that haha >successfully laugh it off and play it cool >she doesn't respond >uhh >hey you there? >me get up and find the light switch >room is empty >h-------- she robbed me >well.. ok then >cancel the monthly donations i was giving to local BLM charity >write a letter to them explaining what happens >they don't respond "never judge a book by the reviews"..b------- Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)14:23:57 No.908148815 >>908149115 >>908149618 >>908150058 >>908150276 >>908150455 >>908150966 >>908151077 >>908151689 >>908152376 >>908152736 >>908148608 Post this on twitter and they will try and cancel you because you stopped the monthly donations. On the plus side that little negress didn't babytrap you because those monthly donations would have been a lot more money y'know what I'm saying homie?
Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)14:19:09 No.908148608 >>908148815 >>908148922 >>908149399 >>908149833 >>908150063 >>908150581 >>908151250 >>908151601 >>908152013 >>908152159 >>908152539 >>908148322 >be me >dating application mode >swipe swipe >meet up with girl >we getting down to the business transaction >offer her $200 >she agrees >tells me to get on the bed and take my clothes off >do that >she turns the lights off >she disappears from view >ask her where she is gone >correct myself and point out it's not because she's dark skinned and the room has gone dark >i wasn't being racist >i don't believe in stereotypes and stuff like that haha >successfully laugh it off and play it cool >she doesn't respond >uhh >hey you there? >me get up and find the light switch >room is empty >h-------- she robbed me >well.. ok then >cancel the monthly donations i was giving to local BLM charity >write a letter to them explaining what happens >they don't respond "never judge a book by the reviews"..b------- Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon)14:23:57 No.908148815 >>908149115 >>908149618 >>908150058 >>908150276 >>908150455 >>908150966 >>908151077 >>908151689 >>908152376 >>908152736 >>908148608 Post this on twitter and they will try and cancel you because you stopped the monthly donations. On the plus side that little negress didn't babytrap you because those monthly donations would have been a lot more money y'know what I'm saying homie?

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