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Anon tells a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 01/19/23(Thu)11:32:17 No.892891987 >>892892292 # I accidentally said another offensive joke in public, I almost got chased. Why am I so damn autistic? : Anonymous >>892891987 (OP) # How do you almost get chased? You either get chased or you don't. 01/19/23(Thu)11:32:59 No.892892016 01/19/23(Thu)11:38:57 No.892892292 : Anonymous >>892892016 # I got followed by some women but they were fat (it was a fat joke btw) and well they couldn't catch me obviously so I got away. I'm not going back to the park anytime soon, I might be wanted for sexual harassment.
: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 01/19/23(Thu)11:32:17 No.892891987 >>892892292 # I accidentally said another offensive joke in public, I almost got chased. Why am I so damn autistic? : Anonymous >>892891987 (OP) # How do you almost get chased? You either get chased or you don't. 01/19/23(Thu)11:32:59 No.892892016 01/19/23(Thu)11:38:57 No.892892292 : Anonymous >>892892016 # I got followed by some women but they were fat (it was a fat joke btw) and well they couldn't catch me obviously so I got away. I'm not going back to the park anytime soon, I might be wanted for sexual harassment.

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Wholesome anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.
: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.

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all roads lead to Hitler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 543 KB PNG 01/18/23(Wed) 20:13:28 No.892881833 5 Clicks To Hitler Game >Go to wikipedia >click "Random Article" >Get to Hitler with 5 or less clicks >post results 1) Bora Dugic (Serbian Musician) 2) Yugoslavia 3) Yugoslavia in WW2 4) HITLER!
: Anonymous 543 KB PNG 01/18/23(Wed) 20:13:28 No.892881833 5 Clicks To Hitler Game >Go to wikipedia >click "Random Article" >Get to Hitler with 5 or less clicks >post results 1) Bora Dugic (Serbian Musician) 2) Yugoslavia 3) Yugoslavia in WW2 4) HITLER!

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anon doesn't like rap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: a1SmUvKH Why are normies so good at det(...) 86 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed) 20:42:31 No.412736497 >Be me >Be forced to go to office party >Everyone is going around asking about musical taste >Comes to me and I tell them that I do not like rap music >Now entire office knows I hate n------, somehow, all because I said I didn't like rap music. f--- my life >Get called into bosses office because there were complaints that I am racist against african americans >Get fired
: Anonymous (ID: a1SmUvKH Why are normies so good at det(...) 86 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed) 20:42:31 No.412736497 >Be me >Be forced to go to office party >Everyone is going around asking about musical taste >Comes to me and I tell them that I do not like rap music >Now entire office knows I hate n------, somehow, all because I said I didn't like rap music. f--- my life >Get called into bosses office because there were complaints that I am racist against african americans >Get fired

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Anon needs a new hobby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I all you do is spend time on the computer, fill turn you into a moren! 53 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed)21:29:44 No.71880186 >leave the house to go to the store >hit by the surreal reminder that you can move your limbs and manipulate objects in reality rather than manipulating data on a screen What are enjoyable things to do that don't involve a computer? I keep trying to think of ideas, but I just can't give a s--- about anything.
: Anonymous I all you do is spend time on the computer, fill turn you into a moren! 53 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed)21:29:44 No.71880186 >leave the house to go to the store >hit by the surreal reminder that you can move your limbs and manipulate objects in reality rather than manipulating data on a screen What are enjoyable things to do that don't involve a computer? I keep trying to think of ideas, but I just can't give a s--- about anything.

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Anon defends tipping culture | /r/Greentext

19 KB JPG >Be Eurofag >Every fourth comment you make complain about how americans have to tip >Stil be Eurofag >Literally pay 50 euros to take a piss or s--- at any public place in any european city
19 KB JPG >Be Eurofag >Every fourth comment you make complain about how americans have to tip >Stil be Eurofag >Literally pay 50 euros to take a piss or s--- at any public place in any european city

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Anon is dying | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)19:14:13 No.71878762 My past 3 s---- have been >diarrhea >s--- so hard it needed immense force to push out >diarrhea Am I dying?
: Anonymous 46 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)19:14:13 No.71878762 My past 3 s---- have been >diarrhea >s--- so hard it needed immense force to push out >diarrhea Am I dying?

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Anon didn't grow | /r/Greentext


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Clown world, clown work, clown anon, clowning my dream job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HEY BUDDY. BFI WANNA TRY SOME CLOWN WORLD? 74 KB JPG Anonymous at work >mfw don't know when psyche collapses 1 Reply / 1 Image THIS IS FINE. 01/18/23(Wed)20:36:20 No.892856801 32 KB JPG >mfw when programmer >mfw when virgin no gf ever >mfw when everyone else has a wife >mfw bunch of s--- happened IRL traumatized >mfw i still LARP a normal human View Thread 01/18/23(Wed)20:37:50 No.892856865 >mfw drinking whiskey on wednesday
: Anonymous HEY BUDDY. BFI WANNA TRY SOME CLOWN WORLD? 74 KB JPG Anonymous at work >mfw don't know when psyche collapses 1 Reply / 1 Image THIS IS FINE. 01/18/23(Wed)20:36:20 No.892856801 32 KB JPG >mfw when programmer >mfw when virgin no gf ever >mfw when everyone else has a wife >mfw bunch of s--- happened IRL traumatized >mfw i still LARP a normal human View Thread 01/18/23(Wed)20:37:50 No.892856865 >mfw drinking whiskey on wednesday

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I didn’t know anons wrote poetry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 69 KB JPG 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas
Anonymous 69 KB JPG 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas

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Anon watched law and order | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 107 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)10:58:01 No.892860377 >be me >watching law&order S.V.U cause it's the best one >remember an episode where they had to take in a wrestler for interrogation for a r--- or something >wrestler is talking trash about them to the crowd >wrestler suddenly pulls out one of the officers gun and points it to the side of his head >"It's not even loaded, see?" >proceeds to kill himself >holyshitthatwasfunny.webm Can't exactly remember the episode but I remember it happening
: Anonymous 107 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)10:58:01 No.892860377 >be me >watching law&order S.V.U cause it's the best one >remember an episode where they had to take in a wrestler for interrogation for a r--- or something >wrestler is talking trash about them to the crowd >wrestler suddenly pulls out one of the officers gun and points it to the side of his head >"It's not even loaded, see?" >proceeds to kill himself >holyshitthatwasfunny.webm Can't exactly remember the episode but I remember it happening

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it's a mini man in my fan | /r/Greentext

1h (10/12 14:30) 12222241 1 Re 0 Img JPG 30KB (414x 318) 1 Reply >IM COMPLETELY CERTAIN, THERE IS NO ONE LIVING INSIDE YOUR FAN >ITS SPINNING BECAUSE OF UUUUH ELE-ELECTRICTY YEAH, THERE DEFINITELY ISNT ANYBODY SPINNING IT WITH THEIR HANDS MANUALLY JUST ELECTRICITY BRO
1h (10/12 14:30) 12222241 1 Re 0 Img JPG 30KB (414x 318) 1 Reply >IM COMPLETELY CERTAIN, THERE IS NO ONE LIVING INSIDE YOUR FAN >ITS SPINNING BECAUSE OF UUUUH ELE-ELECTRICTY YEAH, THERE DEFINITELY ISNT ANYBODY SPINNING IT WITH THEIR HANDS MANUALLY JUST ELECTRICITY BRO

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Anon is banditpilled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)18:19:30 No.135034207 >loved by his kids >loved by his wife >has a PhD >steals the show everytime he appears on screen >confirmed sex symbol 607 KB PNG almost never works Banditbros, we can't stop winning.
Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)18:19:30 No.135034207 >loved by his kids >loved by his wife >has a PhD >steals the show everytime he appears on screen >confirmed sex symbol 607 KB PNG almost never works Banditbros, we can't stop winning.

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Anon finds the infinite gum glitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TUNISTA 94 KB JPG 12/22/22(Thu)13:30:20 No.18726092 I just cooked a frozen pizza on the cardboard cookie it comes with. Am I going to get colon cancer now? I've already eaten half of it. : Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)13:32:17 No.18726096 No. I used to eat paper and cardboard all the time well into my teens and I'm still alive with no side effects yet. >>18726102 # >>18726109 # >>18726103 # : Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)13:34:39 No.18726102 >>18726096 # >I used to eat paper and cardboard all the time well into my teens Why? 12/22/22(Thu)13:36:08 No.18726103 : Anonymous >>18726102 # it's like gum, but cheaper. You can just chew a little wad of paper endlessly and it never really gets any smaller. Gum loses its flavor after 30 seconds anyways so I figured why not just save money and chew little paper wads. >>18726246 # >>18726439 #
: Anonymous TUNISTA 94 KB JPG 12/22/22(Thu)13:30:20 No.18726092 I just cooked a frozen pizza on the cardboard cookie it comes with. Am I going to get colon cancer now? I've already eaten half of it. : Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)13:32:17 No.18726096 No. I used to eat paper and cardboard all the time well into my teens and I'm still alive with no side effects yet. >>18726102 # >>18726109 # >>18726103 # : Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)13:34:39 No.18726102 >>18726096 # >I used to eat paper and cardboard all the time well into my teens Why? 12/22/22(Thu)13:36:08 No.18726103 : Anonymous >>18726102 # it's like gum, but cheaper. You can just chew a little wad of paper endlessly and it never really gets any smaller. Gum loses its flavor after 30 seconds anyways so I figured why not just save money and chew little paper wads. >>18726246 # >>18726439 #

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Anon needs life advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 67UrDWCg Feel like my life is ruined 20 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed)21:50:59 No.412671883 So, basically I joined the military so I could get college money, I got kicked out, now I am at a job I make $18 an hour and I really don't have the mental fortitude right now to even try at school. I'm depressed all the time when I'm not high, I sleep on my friend's couch, I generally blow all of my money just to fight off depression. At this rate I am never going to get my own place. I am really in love with this girl but I feel like I have nothing to offer her, I am considering robbing a store and if I get away with it, great, if not I will just have the police shoot me because I want to die anyway. All I really want is just my own place and a little extra money and the ability to marry and have kids.
Anonymous (ID: 67UrDWCg Feel like my life is ruined 20 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed)21:50:59 No.412671883 So, basically I joined the military so I could get college money, I got kicked out, now I am at a job I make $18 an hour and I really don't have the mental fortitude right now to even try at school. I'm depressed all the time when I'm not high, I sleep on my friend's couch, I generally blow all of my money just to fight off depression. At this rate I am never going to get my own place. I am really in love with this girl but I feel like I have nothing to offer her, I am considering robbing a store and if I get away with it, great, if not I will just have the police shoot me because I want to die anyway. All I really want is just my own place and a little extra money and the ability to marry and have kids.

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Anon have an incel brain | /r/Greentext

178 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)19:30:41 No.16872736 > be me > 2 years ago > a fat incel > obsessed with looksmax > mewing, stretching for growing, extreme gym maxing, skincare, starving myself after bulk to get perfect abs after year finally got results > actually somehow I am proud of me, from 3/10 to like 8/10 > girls sometimes approach me first > be me now > 19 > started going to clubs, pubs, meeting new people, tinder > huge success > sex on toilets, b------- at bars, clubs etc > new problem > every single girl rejected me after a month > I literally got sex with them and they rejected me anyway > One girl had sex with me, rejected me, then had sex with me again and ghost me > happened like 20 times already > kinda hearthbroken Now I am more sad than I was in my room. I see ugly guys with girls who rejected me. The pain is getting worse and worse while others have fun. Idk what can I do more. I suffered and now I am suffering again. Anyway I will take my revenge one day
178 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)19:30:41 No.16872736 > be me > 2 years ago > a fat incel > obsessed with looksmax > mewing, stretching for growing, extreme gym maxing, skincare, starving myself after bulk to get perfect abs after year finally got results > actually somehow I am proud of me, from 3/10 to like 8/10 > girls sometimes approach me first > be me now > 19 > started going to clubs, pubs, meeting new people, tinder > huge success > sex on toilets, b------- at bars, clubs etc > new problem > every single girl rejected me after a month > I literally got sex with them and they rejected me anyway > One girl had sex with me, rejected me, then had sex with me again and ghost me > happened like 20 times already > kinda hearthbroken Now I am more sad than I was in my room. I see ugly guys with girls who rejected me. The pain is getting worse and worse while others have fun. Idk what can I do more. I suffered and now I am suffering again. Anyway I will take my revenge one day

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