: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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: Anonymous hell 53 KB JPG throw my bat 08/07/22(Sun)18:21:14 No.883482551 >be me at 9 years old >Baseball game >I'm up to bat, bases loaded, our team is down 3-0 >I swing as hard as I can and the ball goes flying >My coach starts yelling at me to run >I am so excited about my hit that I >It hits him right in the thigh, connecting with his left ball >He ends up on the ground screaming >Fast forward 14 years >I'm working at a sit down pizza restaurant/bar >I see my old baseball coach at the bar and I go up to him excited >He sees me and laughs >Tells all his friends while laughing "this is the kid that hit my nuts with a baseball bat by accident" >His friends laugh, I laugh I hope your balls are doing well coach, if you ever need someone to empty them I'm right here

Anonymous (ID: MIK5Amux) 7 KB PNG 03/12/23(Sun)13:41:04 No.419377472 > dad and brother are missing in action presumed dead > getting every night to numb pain > check snapchat to see what gf is up to > she fled with her family to germany > posted on her story > video of her dancing taking shots in a discotheque > dancing to techno in a slutty black dress > meanwhile hear my city is getting shelled daily in the background > to make matters worse I just got my draft notice, im to be deployed to the front lines Last year I was about to get married and then everything went to s---. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Anonymous (ID: hk+2RLTK) 03/12/23(Sun)13:45:09 No.419377747 What's a discotheque >>419377875 # >>419377988 # >>419378154 # >>419381241 # >>419381374 # >>419382003 # >>419384232 # >>419391942 # >>419392024 # >>419392215 # >>419392306 # >>419395238 # >>419395739 # >>419395900 #

Quoted by: >>21593128 >>21599527 >>21599539 >>21599609 >>21592732 >Goblet of Fire >"Harry Potter! Did you burn your name in the Sacred Ancestor Flame? Junior, you are courting death!", Supreme Elder Dumbledore said, his voice serene like a jade lake even as his killing intent filled the room. >"Haha, a third-rate talent like you really thinks he can compete in the Three Sect Grand Tournament? Boy, get down on your knees and slap yourself fifty times so our sect can save some face! Five hundred contribution points are deducted from the Roaring Griffin Clan!" Dumbledore's wrathful essence poured out like a wave, cracking the stone floor beneath his feet and disrupting Harry's meridians. Harry was knocked backwards, spitting blood!

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all roads lead to Hitler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 543 KB PNG 01/18/23(Wed) 20:13:28 No.892881833 5 Clicks To Hitler Game >Go to wikipedia >click "Random Article" >Get to Hitler with 5 or less clicks >post results 1) Bora Dugic (Serbian Musician) 2) Yugoslavia 3) Yugoslavia in WW2 4) HITLER!

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anon doesn't like rap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: a1SmUvKH Why are normies so good at det(...) 86 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed) 20:42:31 No.412736497 >Be me >Be forced to go to office party >Everyone is going around asking about musical taste >Comes to me and I tell them that I do not like rap music >Now entire office knows I hate n------, somehow, all because I said I didn't like rap music. f--- my life >Get called into bosses office because there were complaints that I am racist against african americans >Get fired

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Anon needs a new hobby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I all you do is spend time on the computer, fill turn you into a moren! 53 KB JPG 01/18/23(Wed)21:29:44 No.71880186 >leave the house to go to the store >hit by the surreal reminder that you can move your limbs and manipulate objects in reality rather than manipulating data on a screen What are enjoyable things to do that don't involve a computer? I keep trying to think of ideas, but I just can't give a s--- about anything.

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Anon defends tipping culture | /r/Greentext

19 KB JPG >Be Eurofag >Every fourth comment you make complain about how americans have to tip >Stil be Eurofag >Literally pay 50 euros to take a piss or s--- at any public place in any european city

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Anon is dying | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)19:14:13 No.71878762 My past 3 s---- have been >diarrhea >s--- so hard it needed immense force to push out >diarrhea Am I dying?

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Anon didn't grow | /r/Greentext

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Clown world, clown work, clown anon, clowning my dream job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HEY BUDDY. BFI WANNA TRY SOME CLOWN WORLD? 74 KB JPG Anonymous at work >mfw don't know when psyche collapses 1 Reply / 1 Image THIS IS FINE. 01/18/23(Wed)20:36:20 No.892856801 32 KB JPG >mfw when programmer >mfw when virgin no gf ever >mfw when everyone else has a wife >mfw bunch of s--- happened IRL traumatized >mfw i still LARP a normal human View Thread 01/18/23(Wed)20:37:50 No.892856865 >mfw drinking whiskey on wednesday

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I didn’t know anons wrote poetry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 69 KB JPG 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas

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Anon watched law and order | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 107 KB GIF 01/18/23(Wed)10:58:01 No.892860377 >be me >watching law&order S.V.U cause it's the best one >remember an episode where they had to take in a wrestler for interrogation for a r--- or something >wrestler is talking trash about them to the crowd >wrestler suddenly pulls out one of the officers gun and points it to the side of his head >"It's not even loaded, see?" >proceeds to kill himself >holyshitthatwasfunny.webm Can't exactly remember the episode but I remember it happening

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it's a mini man in my fan | /r/Greentext

1h (10/12 14:30) 12222241 1 Re 0 Img JPG 30KB (414x 318) 1 Reply >IM COMPLETELY CERTAIN, THERE IS NO ONE LIVING INSIDE YOUR FAN >ITS SPINNING BECAUSE OF UUUUH ELE-ELECTRICTY YEAH, THERE DEFINITELY ISNT ANYBODY SPINNING IT WITH THEIR HANDS MANUALLY JUST ELECTRICITY BRO

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Anon is banditpilled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)18:19:30 No.135034207 >loved by his kids >loved by his wife >has a PhD >steals the show everytime he appears on screen >confirmed sex symbol 607 KB PNG almost never works Banditbros, we can't stop winning.

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Anon finds the infinite gum glitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TUNISTA 94 KB JPG 12/22/22(Thu)13:30:20 No.18726092 I just cooked a frozen pizza on the cardboard cookie it comes with. Am I going to get colon cancer now? I've already eaten half of it. : Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)13:32:17 No.18726096 No. I used to eat paper and cardboard all the time well into my teens and I'm still alive with no side effects yet. >>18726102 # >>18726109 # >>18726103 # : Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)13:34:39 No.18726102 >>18726096 # >I used to eat paper and cardboard all the time well into my teens Why? 12/22/22(Thu)13:36:08 No.18726103 : Anonymous >>18726102 # it's like gum, but cheaper. You can just chew a little wad of paper endlessly and it never really gets any smaller. Gum loses its flavor after 30 seconds anyways so I figured why not just save money and chew little paper wads. >>18726246 # >>18726439 #

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Greentext Stories - Wholesome anon | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.

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