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Anon loses virginity by not losing it | /r/Greentext

a Does this count as losing my virginity? No. 29682944 09/01/23(Fri)15:31:01 IMG_0627.png 789 KB 662x865 >on a date with a girl at a bar >we're making out on the couch >she says we should go get a hotel room and have sex >ok.jpg >we get a taxi that she pays for >ask for a room for two >hotel receptionist chud says they're all booked out (obviously b-------) >we say we'll do it next time >she texts me a few days later saying i'm a nice guy but we didn't feel a connection bla bla bla So did I lose my virginity? She agreed to have sex with me, in fact it was her idea. That's the hardest part, right? Should I count it as losing my v card?
a Does this count as losing my virginity? No. 29682944 09/01/23(Fri)15:31:01 IMG_0627.png 789 KB 662x865 >on a date with a girl at a bar >we're making out on the couch >she says we should go get a hotel room and have sex >ok.jpg >we get a taxi that she pays for >ask for a room for two >hotel receptionist chud says they're all booked out (obviously b-------) >we say we'll do it next time >she texts me a few days later saying i'm a nice guy but we didn't feel a connection bla bla bla So did I lose my virginity? She agreed to have sex with me, in fact it was her idea. That's the hardest part, right? Should I count it as losing my v card?

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Anon Can't Socialize | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB JPG 08/06/23(Sun)06:18:32 No.74286080 >no social skills >shut down all conversation to avoid spilling spaghetti >try to build confidence and social skill >go somewhere people will try to talk to me >accidentally shut down all conversation by instinct like that part of my brain just completely dried up and died, sometimes ill even think in the moment that i should try to keep the conversation going and then nothing comes to me, and end up with haha yeah syndrome what the f--- is wrong with me 08/06/23(Sun)06:26:53 No.74286114 : Anonymous >>74286080 (OP) # Just be yourself and shut the f--- up
Anonymous 76 KB JPG 08/06/23(Sun)06:18:32 No.74286080 >no social skills >shut down all conversation to avoid spilling spaghetti >try to build confidence and social skill >go somewhere people will try to talk to me >accidentally shut down all conversation by instinct like that part of my brain just completely dried up and died, sometimes ill even think in the moment that i should try to keep the conversation going and then nothing comes to me, and end up with haha yeah syndrome what the f--- is wrong with me 08/06/23(Sun)06:26:53 No.74286114 : Anonymous >>74286080 (OP) # Just be yourself and shut the f--- up

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If you don't have these DIGITS you don't matter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 11julB3W) 09/01/23(Fri)17:28:00 No.439988888 >>439986062 (OP) # >21 years old >mother of two >another one in the oven This is why you're losing btw >>439989189 # >>439989537 # >>439989636 # >>439989669 # >>439989781 # >>439991208 # >>440002518 # >>440002595 # >>440006474 # >>440022248 # >>440023204 # >>440029583 #
: Anonymous (ID: 11julB3W) 09/01/23(Fri)17:28:00 No.439988888 >>439986062 (OP) # >21 years old >mother of two >another one in the oven This is why you're losing btw >>439989189 # >>439989537 # >>439989636 # >>439989669 # >>439989781 # >>439991208 # >>440002518 # >>440002595 # >>440006474 # >>440022248 # >>440023204 # >>440029583 #

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Anon is not allergic to peanuts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 09/03/23(Sun)00:39:56 No.905434618 >hungry at work so eat a peanut butter sanwich >start coughing uncontrollably and it feels like my throat is closing up >eventually it goes away and I can breath again luckily nobody was in the break room to see it >next day eat some peanuts at home and the same thing happens >why does this keep happinging? (I'm not allergic to peanuts) View Thread
: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 09/03/23(Sun)00:39:56 No.905434618 >hungry at work so eat a peanut butter sanwich >start coughing uncontrollably and it feels like my throat is closing up >eventually it goes away and I can breath again luckily nobody was in the break room to see it >next day eat some peanuts at home and the same thing happens >why does this keep happinging? (I'm not allergic to peanuts) View Thread

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Anon is why we can't have nice things | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous >be me >at school >one day teacher brings electric kettle for our class to make tea 09/02/23(Sat)14:09:49 No.905408144 >use it normally for a few weeks >me and my friend decide to put chalk into it >water turns brown >no one uses it anymore >water starts to stink >friend puts his sandwich into it >one day, we decide to turn it on while the teacher is gone >horrible smells starts spreading through the classroom >gas chamber >everyone runs out >F--- F--- someone is gonna snitch on me >get the electric kettle and pour everything out off the window burning my hand >teacher comes back >WHO DID THIS? >people keep whispering our names >my friend raises his hand >I raise mine too and the teacher sees it first but just tell him i poured it out the window >convince the teacher someone in a different class did it >no one gets in trouble We also hid a moldy bread in our classroom that we would feed with water until it was a huge chunk of just mold. Last day of school we kicked it into a crowd in the hall and people started screaming. >>905413187 #
:Anonymous >be me >at school >one day teacher brings electric kettle for our class to make tea 09/02/23(Sat)14:09:49 No.905408144 >use it normally for a few weeks >me and my friend decide to put chalk into it >water turns brown >no one uses it anymore >water starts to stink >friend puts his sandwich into it >one day, we decide to turn it on while the teacher is gone >horrible smells starts spreading through the classroom >gas chamber >everyone runs out >F--- F--- someone is gonna snitch on me >get the electric kettle and pour everything out off the window burning my hand >teacher comes back >WHO DID THIS? >people keep whispering our names >my friend raises his hand >I raise mine too and the teacher sees it first but just tell him i poured it out the window >convince the teacher someone in a different class did it >no one gets in trouble We also hid a moldy bread in our classroom that we would feed with water until it was a huge chunk of just mold. Last day of school we kicked it into a crowd in the hall and people started screaming. >>905413187 #

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Anon watches cockball | /r/Greentext

ww Anonymous ESPI TERH 144 KB JPG What the f---? 09/02/23(Sat)11:30:10 No.905416316 >new in America >turn on ESPN with American football show on >host yells "COCKS COCKS COCKS" >crowd roars in excitement >turn off tv before mom hears it
ww Anonymous ESPI TERH 144 KB JPG What the f---? 09/02/23(Sat)11:30:10 No.905416316 >new in America >turn on ESPN with American football show on >host yells "COCKS COCKS COCKS" >crowd roars in excitement >turn off tv before mom hears it

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Quintessential cringe-kino | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)16:05:02 No.189401994 Spiderman 3.jpg 363 KB JPG >This was considered a dog s--- cringe tier film in the 2000s
: Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)16:05:02 No.189401994 Spiderman 3.jpg 363 KB JPG >This was considered a dog s--- cringe tier film in the 2000s

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Oh shit its to bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 80 KB JPG 06/24/19(Mon)02:13:34 No.802999512 >im a girl >go to an all girl catholic school >meet this nice girl >she tells me to go to the bathroom with her 50 KB JPG >okay > mfw shes making out with me in the bathrooms >wait >does this make me gay : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:15:07 No.802999638 >>802999512 (OP) # >im a girl
: Anonymous 80 KB JPG 06/24/19(Mon)02:13:34 No.802999512 >im a girl >go to an all girl catholic school >meet this nice girl >she tells me to go to the bathroom with her 50 KB JPG >okay > mfw shes making out with me in the bathrooms >wait >does this make me gay : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:15:07 No.802999638 >>802999512 (OP) # >im a girl

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Anon is not a mathematician | /r/Greentext

im guna kes 17 KB JPG >be me, 7yo >math class >"alright class, can you solve 25-20 ?" >raise hand >"yes anon?" >"it's -5 !" >teacher looks at me awkwardly >"w-well yes but you are not supposed to know that" >wat >"see class, you can't substract a number if the first number in the operation is greater than the second one, since there is nothing inferior to zero" >WAT >"but teach whenever I watch the weather report, when it's cold we see negative numbers !" (i'm in celsius, -1C is 30F for reference) >"yes but you're supposed to learn that later" >"but I know it now" >"it's just for this lesson, don't worry, just write it down" >"why would I write something false ?" >start throwing a tantrum because even tho i'm right, i'm also f------ seven >get a note in my notebook for bad behavior >parents confiscate my pokemon cards >can't make a stance for myself because I can't argue without crying it's been 15 years and I still remember it. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous >>67713133 (OP) # >alright class, can you solve 25-20 ? >it's -5! absolute retard. 03/09/22(Wed)20:10:24 No.67713155
im guna kes 17 KB JPG >be me, 7yo >math class >"alright class, can you solve 25-20 ?" >raise hand >"yes anon?" >"it's -5 !" >teacher looks at me awkwardly >"w-well yes but you are not supposed to know that" >wat >"see class, you can't substract a number if the first number in the operation is greater than the second one, since there is nothing inferior to zero" >WAT >"but teach whenever I watch the weather report, when it's cold we see negative numbers !" (i'm in celsius, -1C is 30F for reference) >"yes but you're supposed to learn that later" >"but I know it now" >"it's just for this lesson, don't worry, just write it down" >"why would I write something false ?" >start throwing a tantrum because even tho i'm right, i'm also f------ seven >get a note in my notebook for bad behavior >parents confiscate my pokemon cards >can't make a stance for myself because I can't argue without crying it's been 15 years and I still remember it. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous >>67713133 (OP) # >alright class, can you solve 25-20 ? >it's -5! absolute retard. 03/09/22(Wed)20:10:24 No.67713155

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Anon tries to get a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Heaven on earth images (1) (3).jpg 45 KB JPG >Be me >In high school >A chick and I develop feelings for each other >Talk to each other for a while >Everything's going smoothly >Until one day, she lifts her skirt up and shows me her thighs >Scar marks >Those scars spelled out my name >Bitch literally took a knife and carved my name out on her thigh >I was just like >Man that's hot asf Wanted to ask her out for a date but she ended up killing herself
Heaven on earth images (1) (3).jpg 45 KB JPG >Be me >In high school >A chick and I develop feelings for each other >Talk to each other for a while >Everything's going smoothly >Until one day, she lifts her skirt up and shows me her thighs >Scar marks >Those scars spelled out my name >Bitch literally took a knife and carved my name out on her thigh >I was just like >Man that's hot asf Wanted to ask her out for a date but she ended up killing herself

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Anon listens to ASMR | /r/Greentext

File: 1673467246723423.png (165 KB, 3000x1950) >ten minutes in, girl whispers >"im here..." Anonymous 09/02/23 (Sat) 15:39:03 No.74598306 >>74598320 >GFE ASMR pops up in my recommended videos one day >decide to give it a go >lie down >put on my headphones >"i understand..." >"ill love you no matter what, and you can always come and lay on my chest whenever you need, okay?" >start tearing up is this the kind of s--- normies take for granted? ill never forgive them, not for as long as i live
File: 1673467246723423.png (165 KB, 3000x1950) >ten minutes in, girl whispers >"im here..." Anonymous 09/02/23 (Sat) 15:39:03 No.74598306 >>74598320 >GFE ASMR pops up in my recommended videos one day >decide to give it a go >lie down >put on my headphones >"i understand..." >"ill love you no matter what, and you can always come and lay on my chest whenever you need, okay?" >start tearing up is this the kind of s--- normies take for granted? ill never forgive them, not for as long as i live

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Anon asked a question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:41:38 8 KB JPG No.64377723 >walking to convenience store to buy snacks >see random girl, about my age with a nirvana shirt on >me: "hey whats your favorite nirvana song?" >her: "i dont know" >me: "but youre wearing the shirt" >her: "please stop" >me: "what?" >her: "youre being creepy" >me: "define creepy" >her: "no... just leave me alone please"
Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:41:38 8 KB JPG No.64377723 >walking to convenience store to buy snacks >see random girl, about my age with a nirvana shirt on >me: "hey whats your favorite nirvana song?" >her: "i dont know" >me: "but youre wearing the shirt" >her: "please stop" >me: "what?" >her: "youre being creepy" >me: "define creepy" >her: "no... just leave me alone please"

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Anon finds a hobby | /r/Greentext

09/02/23(Sat)10:57:02 No.74596701 a few years ago i thought it would be funny to dress up as a girl and troll people on omegle, as a joke, of course, but ended up liking the attention, the clothes, the feeling, and the aesthetics that came with it. i stopped because i wanted to get more masculine, but that never happened. i'm thinking about starting up again, and now that i'm out of my parents' house, i'll be able to with much more freedom. : Anonymous SLAVERY NEEDS YOU 55 KB JPG should i? do i give it a try? i'm not a t----- but i am skinny and have a feminine face when it's shaved and taken care of.
09/02/23(Sat)10:57:02 No.74596701 a few years ago i thought it would be funny to dress up as a girl and troll people on omegle, as a joke, of course, but ended up liking the attention, the clothes, the feeling, and the aesthetics that came with it. i stopped because i wanted to get more masculine, but that never happened. i'm thinking about starting up again, and now that i'm out of my parents' house, i'll be able to with much more freedom. : Anonymous SLAVERY NEEDS YOU 55 KB JPG should i? do i give it a try? i'm not a t----- but i am skinny and have a feminine face when it's shaved and taken care of.

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Anon went to a Black-majority school | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/23(Sat)14:41:55 No.905409169 >>905411351 >Be me >White kid in majority-Black high school >10th grade, chemistry class >Everyone doing chemistry experiments at Bunsen burners >Hear a loud thud, clearly something heavy fell >Instinctually turn my head towards the sound >See Black kid hurriedly bend down and pick something up >It looks like a handgun magazine >holyfuckingshit.mp4 >I must be imagining things, right? >FFW like 10-15 minutes later >Hear another loud thud >Quickly turn my head towards the sound >See same Black kid quickly pick something up >Get a good look this time >I'm 99% certain it's a handgun magazine >ohmyfuckinggod.jpeg >Panicked, trying to think of what to do >Come up with idea >Ask teacher to use restroom >She allows me to go >Once outside of the classroom, bolt ass down to the principal's office >Tell him what I saw >Luckily, the principal takes me seriously (probably because I'm White, tbh) >He gets ahold of the school cop posthaste >Once cop is filled in on what's going on, he barges into the classroom and asks to see Black kid in the hallway >Black kid begrudgingly goes into the hallway >Cop does a pat-down and discovers that the Black kid has a handgun and multiple loaded magazines >Everyone in the classroom freaking out >totalchaos.webm >Cop slaps handcuffs on Black kid and escorts him away >That kid ends up getting expelled >School installs metal detectors throughout the building less than two weeks later Why yes, I loved going to a Black-majority school, anon. How could you tell?
Anonymous 09/02/23(Sat)14:41:55 No.905409169 >>905411351 >Be me >White kid in majority-Black high school >10th grade, chemistry class >Everyone doing chemistry experiments at Bunsen burners >Hear a loud thud, clearly something heavy fell >Instinctually turn my head towards the sound >See Black kid hurriedly bend down and pick something up >It looks like a handgun magazine >holyfuckingshit.mp4 >I must be imagining things, right? >FFW like 10-15 minutes later >Hear another loud thud >Quickly turn my head towards the sound >See same Black kid quickly pick something up >Get a good look this time >I'm 99% certain it's a handgun magazine >ohmyfuckinggod.jpeg >Panicked, trying to think of what to do >Come up with idea >Ask teacher to use restroom >She allows me to go >Once outside of the classroom, bolt ass down to the principal's office >Tell him what I saw >Luckily, the principal takes me seriously (probably because I'm White, tbh) >He gets ahold of the school cop posthaste >Once cop is filled in on what's going on, he barges into the classroom and asks to see Black kid in the hallway >Black kid begrudgingly goes into the hallway >Cop does a pat-down and discovers that the Black kid has a handgun and multiple loaded magazines >Everyone in the classroom freaking out >totalchaos.webm >Cop slaps handcuffs on Black kid and escorts him away >That kid ends up getting expelled >School installs metal detectors throughout the building less than two weeks later Why yes, I loved going to a Black-majority school, anon. How could you tell?

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Anon wants to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 126 KB PNG >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 126 KB PNG >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon holds his pp in his pp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Piss man 09/01/23(Fri)20:26:47 No.905383654 >be me >gf is down for some sexy time >have to piss but already hard so give up >go in for the kill >thrust away >can't c-- because of the piss >Minutes turn into hours, hours into days >give gf numerous orgasms but can't c-- >I now drink third a gallon before sexy time 492 KB PNG Have any of you other anons tried piss retention?
: Anonymous Piss man 09/01/23(Fri)20:26:47 No.905383654 >be me >gf is down for some sexy time >have to piss but already hard so give up >go in for the kill >thrust away >can't c-- because of the piss >Minutes turn into hours, hours into days >give gf numerous orgasms but can't c-- >I now drink third a gallon before sexy time 492 KB PNG Have any of you other anons tried piss retention?

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