Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon likes Christmas Songs | /r/Greentext

522 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)22:18:15 No.119651237 >be me >enjoy old christmas songs >favorite is Holly Jolly Christmas by Gene Aubrey >actually pay attention to the lyrics this year >"Oh, ho, the mistletoe" >"It's hung where you can see" >"Somebody waits for you" >"Kiss her once for me" Wait, im confused. So as im fingerbanging a wasted 3/10 roastie at my work Christmas party im supposed to slip an extra finger in and tell her its from an old man who sung a song? Why were people in olden times such perverts?
522 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)22:18:15 No.119651237 >be me >enjoy old christmas songs >favorite is Holly Jolly Christmas by Gene Aubrey >actually pay attention to the lyrics this year >"Oh, ho, the mistletoe" >"It's hung where you can see" >"Somebody waits for you" >"Kiss her once for me" Wait, im confused. So as im fingerbanging a wasted 3/10 roastie at my work Christmas party im supposed to slip an extra finger in and tell her its from an old man who sung a song? Why were people in olden times such perverts?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Metric is Satanic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7MFKKsOw) 12/14/23(Thu)17:00:00 No.451910050 910 KB PNG >>451909750 (OP) # Metric is Satanic. Imperial is a human-based measurement system. The foot is obvious, but they're all human based. The inch is the second segment of the index finger, the yard is the distance from nose to fingertip, the mile is 1000 paces (steps), the gallon was the standard size of a cask of beer or wine, etc. And then these were all divided using fractions which we can naturally discern visually. Metric has no connection to the human body, to human movement, or to culture. It's completely arbitrary, sterile, and soulless. It seeks to remove the human connection from the way we think and interact with the world. Put aside your brainwashing that metric is somehow superior because it "makes sense" or is more consistent. You know I'm right: Imperial is more natural, more human. >>451910477 # >>451910504 # >>451911060 # >>451912428 # >>451912654 # >>451917434 # >>451918309 # >>451918670 # >>451919423 # >>451919829 # >>451919921 # >>451920042 # >>451920284 # >>451920616 # >>451922007 # >>451922308 # >>451922546 # >>451923355 # >>451924468 # >>451926892 # >>451927838 # >>451928270 # >>451928292 # >>451929660 # >>451930031 # >>451930038 # >>451930709 #
Anonymous (ID: 7MFKKsOw) 12/14/23(Thu)17:00:00 No.451910050 910 KB PNG >>451909750 (OP) # Metric is Satanic. Imperial is a human-based measurement system. The foot is obvious, but they're all human based. The inch is the second segment of the index finger, the yard is the distance from nose to fingertip, the mile is 1000 paces (steps), the gallon was the standard size of a cask of beer or wine, etc. And then these were all divided using fractions which we can naturally discern visually. Metric has no connection to the human body, to human movement, or to culture. It's completely arbitrary, sterile, and soulless. It seeks to remove the human connection from the way we think and interact with the world. Put aside your brainwashing that metric is somehow superior because it "makes sense" or is more consistent. You know I'm right: Imperial is more natural, more human. >>451910477 # >>451910504 # >>451911060 # >>451912428 # >>451912654 # >>451917434 # >>451918309 # >>451918670 # >>451919423 # >>451919829 # >>451919921 # >>451920042 # >>451920284 # >>451920616 # >>451922007 # >>451922308 # >>451922546 # >>451923355 # >>451924468 # >>451926892 # >>451927838 # >>451928270 # >>451928292 # >>451929660 # >>451930031 # >>451930038 # >>451930709 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon takes a test | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB PNG 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.7781 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw
Anonymous 59 KB PNG 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.7781 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

They just like it anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)10:34:22 No.193187896 unknown.png 1.23 MB PNG >white invader kills a japanese warrior, takes his place in their honorbound culture and home and marries his wife >this make over $100 million in japan, one of the highest grossing films there >tom cruise has been a huge star in japan ever since the release of this movie What did japan mean by this?
: Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)10:34:22 No.193187896 unknown.png 1.23 MB PNG >white invader kills a japanese warrior, takes his place in their honorbound culture and home and marries his wife >this make over $100 million in japan, one of the highest grossing films there >tom cruise has been a huge star in japan ever since the release of this movie What did japan mean by this?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon has a dilema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)19:21:13 No.75775005 Be me white supremacist nazi >Find this black chick in my collage and gym >all my type looks wise fat ass fat t--- thick thighs round but not fat tummy >begin talking kinda awkard because I hate n------ >eventually she invites me over for some drinks and we have sex >Been doing this for a month now >Expected to go on a first date tomorrow What should I do anons I really hate n------ but I dont want to give her up
: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)19:21:13 No.75775005 Be me white supremacist nazi >Find this black chick in my collage and gym >all my type looks wise fat ass fat t--- thick thighs round but not fat tummy >begin talking kinda awkard because I hate n------ >eventually she invites me over for some drinks and we have sex >Been doing this for a month now >Expected to go on a first date tomorrow What should I do anons I really hate n------ but I dont want to give her up

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon feels miserable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/22(Wed)09:41:41 No.66217833 >>66217076 (OP) # >random girl sit next to me on the bus >immediately think she wants my d--- How do I stop this? She even accidentally touched my arm when trying to get her bag and I got a boner I'm really miserable >>66217883 # >>66217907 # >>66217936 # >>66217983 #
: Anonymous 04/06/22(Wed)09:41:41 No.66217833 >>66217076 (OP) # >random girl sit next to me on the bus >immediately think she wants my d--- How do I stop this? She even accidentally touched my arm when trying to get her bag and I got a boner I'm really miserable >>66217883 # >>66217907 # >>66217936 # >>66217983 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon doesn't have social media | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 70 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)21:49:32 No.75776288 >normie coworkes ask what my instagram is >tell them i don't have social media >They're visibly confused >They start asking me the most personal quesitons like i'm some kind of alien Is it really that bad not having social media in your early 20s?
: Anonymous 70 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)21:49:32 No.75776288 >normie coworkes ask what my instagram is >tell them i don't have social media >They're visibly confused >They start asking me the most personal quesitons like i'm some kind of alien Is it really that bad not having social media in your early 20s?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon chortles really hard at gayness and fakeness | /r/Greentext

PROFESSIONAL >be le massive reditor REDDITORS >heaving over desk to view screen >bad eyesight.jpg > Can't read anything unless it's green >see a short story >hack up a lung chortling at the misfortunes of others >think up most witty reply ever made since that of mark twain >"hmmm yes why my dear fellows this is homosexual...." >and with baited breath I continue >"and FAKE!" >slam down finger on keyboard, break bones in finger >have cardiac arrest laughing at how witty I am > Everything must be homoerotic as per my reddit mandate >nobody on the net can have lives whilst I own a keyboard! > Picrel
PROFESSIONAL >be le massive reditor REDDITORS >heaving over desk to view screen >bad eyesight.jpg > Can't read anything unless it's green >see a short story >hack up a lung chortling at the misfortunes of others >think up most witty reply ever made since that of mark twain >"hmmm yes why my dear fellows this is homosexual...." >and with baited breath I continue >"and FAKE!" >slam down finger on keyboard, break bones in finger >have cardiac arrest laughing at how witty I am > Everything must be homoerotic as per my reddit mandate >nobody on the net can have lives whilst I own a keyboard! > Picrel

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon doesn't like celebrities (me too) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: R4TGYLr2) 08/05/20(Wed)15:51:50 No.271274004 SANTA 55jS2lh.jpg 88 KB JPG >Imagine being a little starving ner baby in Africa and Hollywood's A-List multimillionaire actress Charlize Theron arrives and says she's gonna adopt you and give you a life of luxury. H--------, you can't believe your luck. You're gonna live in LA, eat whatever you want, buy whatever you want, and f--- all the models you want in a few years from all the parties you're gonna be attending. >Then it turns out that your new mother just wants to make you into her own personal f------ Frankenstein experiment, turning you into an aberration and brainwashing you into cutting your own d--- as soon as possible. >And the day of the operation will come and you will be in an operating table having a surgeon turning your d--- outside in and you will be thinking, hey maybe starving in Africa wasn't that bad after all.
: Anonymous (ID: R4TGYLr2) 08/05/20(Wed)15:51:50 No.271274004 SANTA 55jS2lh.jpg 88 KB JPG >Imagine being a little starving ner baby in Africa and Hollywood's A-List multimillionaire actress Charlize Theron arrives and says she's gonna adopt you and give you a life of luxury. H--------, you can't believe your luck. You're gonna live in LA, eat whatever you want, buy whatever you want, and f--- all the models you want in a few years from all the parties you're gonna be attending. >Then it turns out that your new mother just wants to make you into her own personal f------ Frankenstein experiment, turning you into an aberration and brainwashing you into cutting your own d--- as soon as possible. >And the day of the operation will come and you will be in an operating table having a surgeon turning your d--- outside in and you will be thinking, hey maybe starving in Africa wasn't that bad after all.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon forgot the radical feminists | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 H 12/16/23(Sat)08:06:49 No.191302236 HA Flag_of_South_Korea.svg.png 24 KB PNG >will work in one of 5 megacorps when you grow up >parents reward destroying your sleep schedule in cram schools with f------ plastic surgery >all aspects of life are controlled by chaebol (rich untouchable families) >mandatory military conscription after 10-17 hour school days are over >only border is with north korea, constant threat of the largest, densest population center being nuked >constantly being cucked by america, china, or japan at any given moment growing up in your country would be the worst level of depression imaginable
Anonymous 4 H 12/16/23(Sat)08:06:49 No.191302236 HA Flag_of_South_Korea.svg.png 24 KB PNG >will work in one of 5 megacorps when you grow up >parents reward destroying your sleep schedule in cram schools with f------ plastic surgery >all aspects of life are controlled by chaebol (rich untouchable families) >mandatory military conscription after 10-17 hour school days are over >only border is with north korea, constant threat of the largest, densest population center being nuked >constantly being cucked by america, china, or japan at any given moment growing up in your country would be the worst level of depression imaginable

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon's sister | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 360_F_410384074_vjRPB5dKm(...).jpg (43 KB, 1079x360) >dickisdiamonds.jpeg >one day she comes to my room crying >she's being bullied for her autism >tell her to not listen to them >idea.webm >"hey sis do you want a back massage" Oh boy, my first full greentext Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)20:55:52 No.910898478 >>910898934 >be me >14 >have 10 year old sister >has a cute bubble butt that i sometimes stare at >sure.png >tell her to take her clothes off and have nothing on but a towel >get her situated like pic related >start to massage her back and shoulders >so far she likes it >start to further >reach her ass >cumbuckets.jpeg >i rub the s--- out of her ass and even slap it a little >"anon don't touch that" >don't listen >ohshitohfuck.wav >open the door >eventually take the towel off and rub my face all over it >strip in the process >"don't look at me anon" >eventually end up rubbing my d--- all over >suddenly i hear my dad's footsteps >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:09:25 No.910898934 >>910898478 (OP) 2/10 coomer edition saw it coming miles away Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:14:16 No.910899094 File: image_2023-12-15_211413407.png (453 KB, 939x960) Holy F------ S--- Anon, Pornhub exists for a reason.
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 360_F_410384074_vjRPB5dKm(...).jpg (43 KB, 1079x360) >dickisdiamonds.jpeg >one day she comes to my room crying >she's being bullied for her autism >tell her to not listen to them >idea.webm >"hey sis do you want a back massage" Oh boy, my first full greentext Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)20:55:52 No.910898478 >>910898934 >be me >14 >have 10 year old sister >has a cute bubble butt that i sometimes stare at >sure.png >tell her to take her clothes off and have nothing on but a towel >get her situated like pic related >start to massage her back and shoulders >so far she likes it >start to further >reach her ass >cumbuckets.jpeg >i rub the s--- out of her ass and even slap it a little >"anon don't touch that" >don't listen >ohshitohfuck.wav >open the door >eventually take the towel off and rub my face all over it >strip in the process >"don't look at me anon" >eventually end up rubbing my d--- all over >suddenly i hear my dad's footsteps >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:09:25 No.910898934 >>910898478 (OP) 2/10 coomer edition saw it coming miles away Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:14:16 No.910899094 File: image_2023-12-15_211413407.png (453 KB, 939x960) Holy F------ S--- Anon, Pornhub exists for a reason.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon experiences family Christmas dinner | /r/Greentext

12/15/23(Fri)19:22:40 No.75778388 >"Hey, look who finally crawled outta his little hidey-hole! C'mon down and have some holiday season grub, Champ! Don't be a stranger. Tell us what you've been up to. Have those video game coins finally paid off for you, bud? No worry. They'll seem like pennies when we get you a job and you get that first paycheck. But we'll work on that come New Year. Dig in." Anonymous 432 KB PNG >swats your hand away from the alcoholic beverages >"But not those, Champ. I need you focused on a finding a job first." >audible laughter
12/15/23(Fri)19:22:40 No.75778388 >"Hey, look who finally crawled outta his little hidey-hole! C'mon down and have some holiday season grub, Champ! Don't be a stranger. Tell us what you've been up to. Have those video game coins finally paid off for you, bud? No worry. They'll seem like pennies when we get you a job and you get that first paycheck. But we'll work on that come New Year. Dig in." Anonymous 432 KB PNG >swats your hand away from the alcoholic beverages >"But not those, Champ. I need you focused on a finding a job first." >audible laughter

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon talks about xenophobia. | /r/Greentext

International Why do they have such harsh immigration policies?
International Why do they have such harsh immigration policies?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

anon sends a rig pic | /r/Greentext

21 KB JPG >In college >have girlfriend >Talking to another girl >casual conversation >We have same hobbies >Particularly interested in building PC's >tell her I'll send a pic of my rig later >Later >Send pic of my rig > Some country-hick sends pic of him flipping the bird >oh s---, is that her boyfriend? >Ask him what he thinks of the rig >"F-----' dogshit my boy" It is now impossible to prove I was not flirting with her. I don't know what's worse, my rig insult or my rep decline.
21 KB JPG >In college >have girlfriend >Talking to another girl >casual conversation >We have same hobbies >Particularly interested in building PC's >tell her I'll send a pic of my rig later >Later >Send pic of my rig > Some country-hick sends pic of him flipping the bird >oh s---, is that her boyfriend? >Ask him what he thinks of the rig >"F-----' dogshit my boy" It is now impossible to prove I was not flirting with her. I don't know what's worse, my rig insult or my rep decline.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon Comes Up Short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 271 KB PNG 12/13/23(Wed)12:00:43 No.91077963 >be me >Have micro d--- >Not like your typical small d--- that can get up to 3-4 inches no like an actual micro d--- >When erect and stretched/pushed to the bone it's maybe 1.7 inches >Not into SPH either so no benefit there >literally too small to actually properly masturbate >Get a girlfriend at one point >Tell her before we have sex about my "condition" >She laughs and says it's probably not that small >She stares at it like pic related when she sees it >still single I'm considering just getting a penectomy because at this point it'd be easier to explain : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # You need to start gooning rn and become a p--- addict so sph and cuckolding will appeal to you. Sorry life isnt fair bro >>910782419 # 12/13/23(Wed)12:05:53 No.910779834 : Anonymous Your d--- is literally shorter than mine is wide. 12/13/23(Wed)12:17:01 No.910780327 : Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)12:43:00 No.910781490 Why not get a phalloplasty, I hear they can make them look pretty good these days 12/13/23(Wed)12:47:53 No.910781704 : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # Small d---- require small holes. Look for small holes anon. ;)
: Anonymous 8 271 KB PNG 12/13/23(Wed)12:00:43 No.91077963 >be me >Have micro d--- >Not like your typical small d--- that can get up to 3-4 inches no like an actual micro d--- >When erect and stretched/pushed to the bone it's maybe 1.7 inches >Not into SPH either so no benefit there >literally too small to actually properly masturbate >Get a girlfriend at one point >Tell her before we have sex about my "condition" >She laughs and says it's probably not that small >She stares at it like pic related when she sees it >still single I'm considering just getting a penectomy because at this point it'd be easier to explain : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # You need to start gooning rn and become a p--- addict so sph and cuckolding will appeal to you. Sorry life isnt fair bro >>910782419 # 12/13/23(Wed)12:05:53 No.910779834 : Anonymous Your d--- is literally shorter than mine is wide. 12/13/23(Wed)12:17:01 No.910780327 : Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)12:43:00 No.910781490 Why not get a phalloplasty, I hear they can make them look pretty good these days 12/13/23(Wed)12:47:53 No.910781704 : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # Small d---- require small holes. Look for small holes anon. ;)

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Should have let him finished | /r/Greentext

Does Hakuna Matata have an e---------- joke? Does Hakuna Matata have an eja(...) >And oh, the shame >(He was ashamed!) 12/15/23(Fri)22:24:46 No.193220344 timon pumbaa.jpg 79 KB JPG >Thought of changin' my name >(Oh, what's in a name?) >And I got downhearted >(How did you feel?) >Every time that l- >Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids! Was he going to say "every time that I came"? Kind of weird for a kids movie. https://youtu.be/kaOlxl|4LCA?si=7JV XYFj3sv5SWNjd&t=67 [Open]
Does Hakuna Matata have an e---------- joke? Does Hakuna Matata have an eja(...) >And oh, the shame >(He was ashamed!) 12/15/23(Fri)22:24:46 No.193220344 timon pumbaa.jpg 79 KB JPG >Thought of changin' my name >(Oh, what's in a name?) >And I got downhearted >(How did you feel?) >Every time that l- >Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids! Was he going to say "every time that I came"? Kind of weird for a kids movie. https://youtu.be/kaOlxl|4LCA?si=7JV XYFj3sv5SWNjd&t=67 [Open]

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext