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PROFESSIONAL >be le massive reditor REDDITORS >heaving over desk to view screen >bad eyesight.jpg > Can't read anything unless it's green >see a short story >hack up a lung chortling at the misfortunes of others >think up most witty reply ever made since that of mark twain >"hmmm yes why my dear fellows this is homosexual...." >and with baited breath I continue >"and FAKE!" >slam down finger on keyboard, break bones in finger >have cardiac arrest laughing at how witty I am > Everything must be homoerotic as per my reddit mandate >nobody on the net can have lives whilst I own a keyboard! > Picrel

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Anonymous A dream I had. NO FALENTHE DON'T work w CONE LOH MY LAP 81 KB JPG 03/06/25(Thu)01:57:40 No.80537791 >Be me. >Its 2055. >My aging has been slowed thanks to cybernetics, I'm pretty much a wholeass Cyborg. >Hear a knock at my door. >Its a cute robot girl >"Hey Anon, I'm your assigned robo gf from the robot overlords!" >Hellyes.jpg >We quickly fall in love. She loves watching me play vidya, watching YouTube and going out on walks. >Its always raining, and we both love the rain. >She stays at home and cooks and maintains the apartment while I go out and work. >Come home to my favourite foods always being ready for dinner. >Gives better head and sex than any fleshbag. >Has soft silicone skin that's so smooth and fleshy to the touch. >Every night is vidya before hardcore sex. >Showering together, helping clean out some of the parts she needs help with. >"I'm really happy I met you, anon. I love you." >Wake up. If robot gfs don't become real in a few years I'm killing myself. It'll be the only thing my autistic c--- will ever f---.

Anonymous 403 KB PNG pain in my back. 06/24/24(Mon)20:13:30 No.77940526 >Be me, straight man >Walking through the grocery store. >Notice a cute femboy with perfectly styled hair struggling to reach a can on the top shelf. >Being the helpful person I am, and slightly admiring his choice of a crop top, I offer to help him. >As I hand him the can, I feel a sharp >Collapse to the ground and see stars, my vision swimming. >Through the haze, I make out an elderly Chinese man standing over me. >He's holding a cane in one hand and his service revolver in the other. >Realize the femboy was a ruse to get me vulnerable. >The store's staff suddenly surrounds me, all of them brandishing firearms. >They all turned into chinese mans, closing in and blocking all exits. >The most chinese, clearly the alpha chinese elderly man out of them growls, "Defeat us in MAHJONG or be banished to the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity."

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 6Dtp0Rlh ) ▼Settings Mobile Home AMÉRICANS ARE GOING TO UK OUT (...) 03/04/25(Tue)13:02:25 No.499408510 FT Financial Times ❤ Seguir @FT Record number of Americans apply for UK citizenship Traducir post BRITISH PASSPORT BRITISH PASSPORT DOM OF ft.com Record number of Americans apply for UK citizenship 18:08. 03 mar 25 2M Visualizaciones 1.865 Republicaciones 840 Citas 627 KB JPG IT'S OVER TRUMP RUIN THE COUNTRY Anonymous (ID: noijX0ew) >>499408741 03/04/25(Tue)13:09:05 No.499409216 its just leftists proving they prefer to live around whites

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Anon doesn't like celebrities (me too) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: R4TGYLr2) 08/05/20(Wed)15:51:50 No.271274004 SANTA 55jS2lh.jpg 88 KB JPG >Imagine being a little starving ner baby in Africa and Hollywood's A-List multimillionaire actress Charlize Theron arrives and says she's gonna adopt you and give you a life of luxury. H--------, you can't believe your luck. You're gonna live in LA, eat whatever you want, buy whatever you want, and f--- all the models you want in a few years from all the parties you're gonna be attending. >Then it turns out that your new mother just wants to make you into her own personal f------ Frankenstein experiment, turning you into an aberration and brainwashing you into cutting your own d--- as soon as possible. >And the day of the operation will come and you will be in an operating table having a surgeon turning your d--- outside in and you will be thinking, hey maybe starving in Africa wasn't that bad after all.

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Anon forgot the radical feminists | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 H 12/16/23(Sat)08:06:49 No.191302236 HA Flag_of_South_Korea.svg.png 24 KB PNG >will work in one of 5 megacorps when you grow up >parents reward destroying your sleep schedule in cram schools with f------ plastic surgery >all aspects of life are controlled by chaebol (rich untouchable families) >mandatory military conscription after 10-17 hour school days are over >only border is with north korea, constant threat of the largest, densest population center being nuked >constantly being cucked by america, china, or japan at any given moment growing up in your country would be the worst level of depression imaginable

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Anon's sister | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 360_F_410384074_vjRPB5dKm(...).jpg (43 KB, 1079x360) >dickisdiamonds.jpeg >one day she comes to my room crying >she's being bullied for her autism >tell her to not listen to them >idea.webm >"hey sis do you want a back massage" Oh boy, my first full greentext Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)20:55:52 No.910898478 >>910898934 >be me >14 >have 10 year old sister >has a cute bubble butt that i sometimes stare at >sure.png >tell her to take her clothes off and have nothing on but a towel >get her situated like pic related >start to massage her back and shoulders >so far she likes it >start to further >reach her ass >cumbuckets.jpeg >i rub the s--- out of her ass and even slap it a little >"anon don't touch that" >don't listen >ohshitohfuck.wav >open the door >eventually take the towel off and rub my face all over it >strip in the process >"don't look at me anon" >eventually end up rubbing my d--- all over >suddenly i hear my dad's footsteps >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:09:25 No.910898934 >>910898478 (OP) 2/10 coomer edition saw it coming miles away Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:14:16 No.910899094 File: image_2023-12-15_211413407.png (453 KB, 939x960) Holy F------ S--- Anon, Pornhub exists for a reason.

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Anon experiences family Christmas dinner | /r/Greentext

12/15/23(Fri)19:22:40 No.75778388 >"Hey, look who finally crawled outta his little hidey-hole! C'mon down and have some holiday season grub, Champ! Don't be a stranger. Tell us what you've been up to. Have those video game coins finally paid off for you, bud? No worry. They'll seem like pennies when we get you a job and you get that first paycheck. But we'll work on that come New Year. Dig in." Anonymous 432 KB PNG >swats your hand away from the alcoholic beverages >"But not those, Champ. I need you focused on a finding a job first." >audible laughter

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Anon talks about xenophobia. | /r/Greentext

International Why do they have such harsh immigration policies?

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anon sends a rig pic | /r/Greentext

21 KB JPG >In college >have girlfriend >Talking to another girl >casual conversation >We have same hobbies >Particularly interested in building PC's >tell her I'll send a pic of my rig later >Later >Send pic of my rig > Some country-hick sends pic of him flipping the bird >oh s---, is that her boyfriend? >Ask him what he thinks of the rig >"F-----' dogshit my boy" It is now impossible to prove I was not flirting with her. I don't know what's worse, my rig insult or my rep decline.

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Anon Comes Up Short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 271 KB PNG 12/13/23(Wed)12:00:43 No.91077963 >be me >Have micro d--- >Not like your typical small d--- that can get up to 3-4 inches no like an actual micro d--- >When erect and stretched/pushed to the bone it's maybe 1.7 inches >Not into SPH either so no benefit there >literally too small to actually properly masturbate >Get a girlfriend at one point >Tell her before we have sex about my "condition" >She laughs and says it's probably not that small >She stares at it like pic related when she sees it >still single I'm considering just getting a penectomy because at this point it'd be easier to explain : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # You need to start gooning rn and become a p--- addict so sph and cuckolding will appeal to you. Sorry life isnt fair bro >>910782419 # 12/13/23(Wed)12:05:53 No.910779834 : Anonymous Your d--- is literally shorter than mine is wide. 12/13/23(Wed)12:17:01 No.910780327 : Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)12:43:00 No.910781490 Why not get a phalloplasty, I hear they can make them look pretty good these days 12/13/23(Wed)12:47:53 No.910781704 : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # Small d---- require small holes. Look for small holes anon. ;)

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Should have let him finished | /r/Greentext

Does Hakuna Matata have an e---------- joke? Does Hakuna Matata have an eja(...) >And oh, the shame >(He was ashamed!) 12/15/23(Fri)22:24:46 No.193220344 timon pumbaa.jpg 79 KB JPG >Thought of changin' my name >(Oh, what's in a name?) >And I got downhearted >(How did you feel?) >Every time that l- >Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids! Was he going to say "every time that I came"? Kind of weird for a kids movie. https://youtu.be/kaOlxl|4LCA?si=7JV XYFj3sv5SWNjd&t=67 [Open]

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anon misses his chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Oh my god boys it really is ov(...) 37 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri) 18:45:12 No.75775188 >7/10 with nice body messages me on yubo wanting to f--- >using slang terms >dont really get what she means >she says nevermind and ghosts me Why was I born?

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Anon played Omori | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: deadnny.jpg 12/12/23(Tue)11:27:34 No.457640414 ► >>457641084 (156 KB, 1416x1068) >noooo i dont wanna play violin! *dies* What was his f------ problem?

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Anon activates his gamer rage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/23(Sat)00:24:35 No.660808937 grand theft autory FIVE 9.17.2013 IMG_9441.jpg 60 KB JPG Since GTA hype is back. I'll tell a ragetard story from GTA 5's release hype. >Be me, 15 years old in 2013. >GTA 5 hype is massive, played every GTA game in my childhood up to that point. >Already planned to buy the game online because I knew it would be sold out at stores & I wasn't old enough to technically buy it. >Still have 2 prepaid $150 cards my grandpa gave for my birthday. >Bought GTA 5 at release online, got it within 2 days. >Did the intro missions, after that immediately went to the strip club as is tradition. >Got a lap dance & wanted to keep touching the girl, stupid rule where you can't touch them. >Touched them too much & got thrown out & couldn't re- enter. Got p----- off & started fighting the bouncers. >Somehow f------ lost the fight because I suck, WASTED. >[Tard rage activated] immediately ejected the disk & threw it at the wall frisbee style as I usually did with other games I raged at. >Didn't expect it to break because the other games never did, GTA 5 disk breaks, a little piece of disk chips off at the center, didn't work afterwards. >Had to wait 2 months before I could by another copy. Everyone & friends playing GTA 5 while I'm playing GTA 4 & the episode DLCs while in a state of regret & self loathing.

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Anon loves the D in a no homo way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I love sucking d--- 704 KB WEBM 12/16/21(Thu)06:04:29 No.21545752 >message a bunch of guys "hey i want to suck your d---" >suck a guy's d--- for the first time. very weird but extremely hot in retrospect >want to suck d--- more often, but don't want to be gay >put an ad up "looking for someone who wants b------- every day no h---" >guy responds. pretty average looking. not impressive but eh >invite him over, immediately give him head as discussed. 10 minutes into meeting this guy and i've sucked his d---, swallowed his c-- >comes over again the same day, give him another b------ >texts me the next day, agree to suck his d--- again >guy blows my phone up constantly. "bro where u at lol" >usually agree to meet even if i don't feel like it. always glad that i did. >tame my gag reflex on a dildo just to give this guy better head >he's all like "f--- yeah dude that's so good s--- dude im gonna c--" >basically become glurk glurk 4900 >probably swallow a gallon of this guy's j--- over the next few months >suddenly he moves to another city f---

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Greentext Stories - Anon chortles really hard at gayness and fakeness | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

PROFESSIONAL >be le massive reditor REDDITORS >heaving over desk to view screen >bad eyesight.jpg > Can't read anything unless it's green >see a short story >hack up a lung chortling at the misfortunes of others >think up most witty reply ever made since that of mark twain >"hmmm yes why my dear fellows this is homosexual...." >and with baited breath I continue >"and FAKE!" >slam down finger on keyboard, break bones in finger >have cardiac arrest laughing at how witty I am > Everything must be homoerotic as per my reddit mandate >nobody on the net can have lives whilst I own a keyboard! > Picrel

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