Greentext Stories - Images
What's my race again? | /r/Greentext
![Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: AZ+k2f9L ) ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/10/24(Tue)14:50:42 No.491062607 Is there a reason Italians and Jews often look quite similar? 771 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: K8dW9cpm ) >>491062607 (OP) Thanks for the insult 12/10/24(Tue)14:52:04 No.491062710](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/611/a27.png)
![Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: AZ+k2f9L ) ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/10/24(Tue)14:50:42 No.491062607 Is there a reason Italians and Jews often look quite similar? 771 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: K8dW9cpm ) >>491062607 (OP) Thanks for the insult 12/10/24(Tue)14:52:04 No.491062710](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/611/a27.png)
Greentext Stories
Die and Dash | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous (ID: pKUc2gAm)! >>491063131 (OP) It's so easy in America. >I get hospital bill >I don't pay it >nothing happens Based. Free Healthcare 12/10/24(Tue)14:59:35 No.491063358](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/610/dcd.png)
![Anonymous (ID: pKUc2gAm)! >>491063131 (OP) It's so easy in America. >I get hospital bill >I don't pay it >nothing happens Based. Free Healthcare 12/10/24(Tue)14:59:35 No.491063358](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/610/dcd.png)
Greentext Stories
Anon is expert on Geopolitics | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous >>63009946 # >Vatniggers be like 12/10/24(Tue)20:04:49 No.63010206 >NOOO YOU ARE LETTING CHRISTIAN MURDERING ISLAMISTS TAKE OVER SYRIA!!!! >NOOO WHY YOU LET ISRAEL DESTROY THE WEAPONS THEY CAN USE TO KILL CHRISTIANS! F--- you n----.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/513/925.png)
![Anonymous >>63009946 # >Vatniggers be like 12/10/24(Tue)20:04:49 No.63010206 >NOOO YOU ARE LETTING CHRISTIAN MURDERING ISLAMISTS TAKE OVER SYRIA!!!! >NOOO WHY YOU LET ISRAEL DESTROY THE WEAPONS THEY CAN USE TO KILL CHRISTIANS! F--- you n----.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/513/925.png)
Greentext Stories
Who's your pick? | /r/Greentext
![The last vidya character you played as must defeat Kira The last vidya character you p(...) 000 12/01/24(Sun)03:01:19 No.696024149 1701668435436530.png 460 KB PNG >merely being immune to the death note is not enough; you must be able to pinpoint that Yagami Light is Kira >destroying a gigantic area in hopes of getting him in collateral damage is also not a win, it must be targeted >your character's universe is merged with Light's, so your character gets help from the supporting cast but Kira still controls all world governments and public organizations (including any organization from your character's universe) Well? Can they do it?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/324/5b1.jpeg)
![The last vidya character you played as must defeat Kira The last vidya character you p(...) 000 12/01/24(Sun)03:01:19 No.696024149 1701668435436530.png 460 KB PNG >merely being immune to the death note is not enough; you must be able to pinpoint that Yagami Light is Kira >destroying a gigantic area in hopes of getting him in collateral damage is also not a win, it must be targeted >your character's universe is merged with Light's, so your character gets help from the supporting cast but Kira still controls all world governments and public organizations (including any organization from your character's universe) Well? Can they do it?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/324/5b1.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Anon tried imitating other anons in the wild | /r/Greentext
![189 KB PNG >Be me >See all the "i----- is wincest" memes on this board >Have a hot sister >Invite her to play some vidya with me >We share some witty banter >I decide to up the ante and rub her thigh >She asks me why I was doing that >I go in for a kiss >She starts freaking out and tells our parents >Mom is crying and dad is threatening to kick me out I'm seriously close to roping. How do I fix this?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/307/cdf.jpeg)
![189 KB PNG >Be me >See all the "i----- is wincest" memes on this board >Have a hot sister >Invite her to play some vidya with me >We share some witty banter >I decide to up the ante and rub her thigh >She asks me why I was doing that >I go in for a kiss >She starts freaking out and tells our parents >Mom is crying and dad is threatening to kick me out I'm seriously close to roping. How do I fix this?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/307/cdf.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Don't give a fuck | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous Belphegor is probably anon and (...) 267 KB JPG JAULT" >start war in heaven 12/10/24(Tue)06:56:41 No.928466654 Do you at least BELPHEGOR? >be a principality >Asmodel's friend (future Asmodeus) >have a lot of angelic obligations >DON'T GIVE THEM A F--- >prefer to practice your hobbies >Lucifer's rebellion arrives >don't give a f--- about what Lucifer says >DON'T GIVE A F--- TO WAR >God sends you to hell even though you haven't allied yourself with Lucifer >you just didn't care >DON'T GIVE A F--- ABOUT THAT EITHER >Lucifer (now Satan) gives him a high-ranking position in hell >the reason? >you did absolutely nothing >you have been PROMOTED >promoted for doing nothing >DON'T GIVE A F--- TO THE POSITION EITHER Belphegor is the most badass prince of hell in history.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/293/3a8.png)
![Anonymous Belphegor is probably anon and (...) 267 KB JPG JAULT" >start war in heaven 12/10/24(Tue)06:56:41 No.928466654 Do you at least BELPHEGOR? >be a principality >Asmodel's friend (future Asmodeus) >have a lot of angelic obligations >DON'T GIVE THEM A F--- >prefer to practice your hobbies >Lucifer's rebellion arrives >don't give a f--- about what Lucifer says >DON'T GIVE A F--- TO WAR >God sends you to hell even though you haven't allied yourself with Lucifer >you just didn't care >DON'T GIVE A F--- ABOUT THAT EITHER >Lucifer (now Satan) gives him a high-ranking position in hell >the reason? >you did absolutely nothing >you have been PROMOTED >promoted for doing nothing >DON'T GIVE A F--- TO THE POSITION EITHER Belphegor is the most badass prince of hell in history.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/293/3a8.png)
Greentext Stories
Anon Hates Batman Beyond (1999) | /r/Greentext
![File: l-intro-1695662813.jpg (189 KB, 1600x899) ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:22:29 No.146694165 ►>>146694179 >>146697333 File: BB.jpg (1.5 MB, 1920x1047) ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)09:11:46 No.146692012 ►>>146692122 >>146692152 >>146692292 >>146692338 >>146692417 >>146692425 >>146692451 >>146692651 >>146693063 >>146693102 >>146693160 >>146693342 >>146693369 >>146693436 >>146693617 >>146693839 >>146694076 >>146694108 >>146694375 >>146694391 >>146694452 >>146694632 >>146694688 >>146695138 >>146695414 >>146696621 >>146696749 >>146698467 >Hey kids, did you love Batman: The Animated Series? Well here's a cool new sequel show, set in the future, where Bruce Wayne is a ... bitter and lonely old man who completely failed to eradicate crime in Gotham and every single battle you saw him face in BTAS and Justice League were fought completely in vain Why did they think this was a good idea? ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)09:14:39 No. 146692045 Because it was. >> >> >>146694076 This Suits told them "Give me teenage high shcool batman" and they rolled out absolute kino sci-fi action cartoon that still fits into the timeline. One of the best "passing of the torch" stories in capeshit ever. >>146696624 Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)14:02:16 No.146695326 >>146695370 for me its inque Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 16:32:47 No.146696624 ► >>146695326 Based Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)09:37:23 No.146692338 >>146692012 (OP) >Batman didn't end all crime forever therefore its bad! What the f--- kind of argument is this? ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 10:54:49 No.146693297 File: 1707796471544360.png (3.61 MB, 2100x1181) >>146692402 ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)16:39:55 No.146696669 ► >>146697492 File: 3456354.png (1.9 MB, 1245x940) You are just jealous of peak Batsuit ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)11:01:33 No.146693369 ► >>146692012 (OP) i was prime demo when that show came out and thought it was shway as f--- sorry your zoomer brain can't handle the concept Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:14:30 No. 146694076 ►>>146694165 >>146692012 (OP) It was the best idea cartoon makers have had in about three decades. ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:17:35 No. 146694108 ► >>146692012 (OP). >End all crime As long as sociopaths can biologically exist, crime will NEVER end 10 Terry gave her a chance and she f------ blew it ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)16:50:32 No.146696749 >>146696829 >>146692012 (OP) Never watched this. I couldn't stand the "how do you do fellow kids" vibes. >> ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 17:01:11 No.146696829 >>146696749 Show is schway and your opinion is schwarbage. >> Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 17:11:04 No.146696909 ▶ >>146697283 Don't forget the sperm s--- >> Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 18:12:25 No.146697283 >>146696909 I'd rather forget](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/228/973.png)
![File: l-intro-1695662813.jpg (189 KB, 1600x899) ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:22:29 No.146694165 ►>>146694179 >>146697333 File: BB.jpg (1.5 MB, 1920x1047) ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)09:11:46 No.146692012 ►>>146692122 >>146692152 >>146692292 >>146692338 >>146692417 >>146692425 >>146692451 >>146692651 >>146693063 >>146693102 >>146693160 >>146693342 >>146693369 >>146693436 >>146693617 >>146693839 >>146694076 >>146694108 >>146694375 >>146694391 >>146694452 >>146694632 >>146694688 >>146695138 >>146695414 >>146696621 >>146696749 >>146698467 >Hey kids, did you love Batman: The Animated Series? Well here's a cool new sequel show, set in the future, where Bruce Wayne is a ... bitter and lonely old man who completely failed to eradicate crime in Gotham and every single battle you saw him face in BTAS and Justice League were fought completely in vain Why did they think this was a good idea? ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)09:14:39 No. 146692045 Because it was. >> >> >>146694076 This Suits told them "Give me teenage high shcool batman" and they rolled out absolute kino sci-fi action cartoon that still fits into the timeline. One of the best "passing of the torch" stories in capeshit ever. >>146696624 Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)14:02:16 No.146695326 >>146695370 for me its inque Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 16:32:47 No.146696624 ► >>146695326 Based Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)09:37:23 No.146692338 >>146692012 (OP) >Batman didn't end all crime forever therefore its bad! What the f--- kind of argument is this? ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 10:54:49 No.146693297 File: 1707796471544360.png (3.61 MB, 2100x1181) >>146692402 ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)16:39:55 No.146696669 ► >>146697492 File: 3456354.png (1.9 MB, 1245x940) You are just jealous of peak Batsuit ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)11:01:33 No.146693369 ► >>146692012 (OP) i was prime demo when that show came out and thought it was shway as f--- sorry your zoomer brain can't handle the concept Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:14:30 No. 146694076 ►>>146694165 >>146692012 (OP) It was the best idea cartoon makers have had in about three decades. ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:17:35 No. 146694108 ► >>146692012 (OP). >End all crime As long as sociopaths can biologically exist, crime will NEVER end 10 Terry gave her a chance and she f------ blew it ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)16:50:32 No.146696749 >>146696829 >>146692012 (OP) Never watched this. I couldn't stand the "how do you do fellow kids" vibes. >> ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 17:01:11 No.146696829 >>146696749 Show is schway and your opinion is schwarbage. >> Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 17:11:04 No.146696909 ▶ >>146697283 Don't forget the sperm s--- >> Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 18:12:25 No.146697283 >>146696909 I'd rather forget](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/228/973.png)
Greentext Stories
School shooter | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous 19 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/210/5ed.jpeg)
![Anonymous 19 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/210/5ed.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Anon wonders what happened | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous (ID: mbWy8nex 12/09/24(Mon)16:09:13 No.490987776 43 KB JPG >born into a wealthy family >attends $40k-a-year private school, becomes valedictorian >earns a bachelor's and master's in computer science by 26 >no criminal record, no behavioral red flags, clean slate >sharp-dressed, photogenic, chad, and active on social media >vacations abroad, posts polished photos, looks like he's thriving >lands internships and builds a resume that screams success >spends free time exploring Al, mushrooms, and "self- optimization" trends >writes a Goodreads review on Ted K, sprinkles in "safe edgy" >joins the professional world, follows the system's script perfectly >no signs of instability, just another rising star in the tech scene >disappears from friends for 3 months >2024: kills UnitedHealthcare CEO what happened bros](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/202/e04.jpeg)
![Anonymous (ID: mbWy8nex 12/09/24(Mon)16:09:13 No.490987776 43 KB JPG >born into a wealthy family >attends $40k-a-year private school, becomes valedictorian >earns a bachelor's and master's in computer science by 26 >no criminal record, no behavioral red flags, clean slate >sharp-dressed, photogenic, chad, and active on social media >vacations abroad, posts polished photos, looks like he's thriving >lands internships and builds a resume that screams success >spends free time exploring Al, mushrooms, and "self- optimization" trends >writes a Goodreads review on Ted K, sprinkles in "safe edgy" >joins the professional world, follows the system's script perfectly >no signs of instability, just another rising star in the tech scene >disappears from friends for 3 months >2024: kills UnitedHealthcare CEO what happened bros](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/202/e04.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Anon unlocks new fetish | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous >be me 12/09/24(Mon)21:38:13 No.928454502 >Jacking off >Watching p--- >Girl shows her driver's license >Official government documents, c-- instantly](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/106/e47.jpeg)
![: Anonymous >be me 12/09/24(Mon)21:38:13 No.928454502 >Jacking off >Watching p--- >Girl shows her driver's license >Official government documents, c-- instantly](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/106/e47.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is either gay or straighter than everyone else. | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous 06/16/24(Sun)20:59:06 No.77859167 117 KB PNG >be me >straight >question sexuality >decide to try it for once >go on Grindr and find a guy that kinda looks feminine >we f--- (I top ofc) >it was kinda stinky and his moans turned me off >after >decide that I've tried it and didn't like it so therefore straight is this good logic or nah. 33 Replies 1 Image View Thread](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/966/034/845.jpeg)
![Anonymous 06/16/24(Sun)20:59:06 No.77859167 117 KB PNG >be me >straight >question sexuality >decide to try it for once >go on Grindr and find a guy that kinda looks feminine >we f--- (I top ofc) >it was kinda stinky and his moans turned me off >after >decide that I've tried it and didn't like it so therefore straight is this good logic or nah. 33 Replies 1 Image View Thread](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/966/034/845.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is hurt | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous >>79704203 # >Try finding a bf >Someone hurts me >Try trusting friends >They hurt me 12/09/24(Mon)09:15:39 No.79704226 >Be stuck in a room with strangers >They hurt me >Be in school with other kids >They hurt me >Be someones child >They hurt me And no positive experiences with intimacy to balance it out. How dare I not just trust people? It must be because I'm soulless. It's easy for me!](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/675/14f.png)
![Anonymous >>79704203 # >Try finding a bf >Someone hurts me >Try trusting friends >They hurt me 12/09/24(Mon)09:15:39 No.79704226 >Be stuck in a room with strangers >They hurt me >Be in school with other kids >They hurt me >Be someones child >They hurt me And no positive experiences with intimacy to balance it out. How dare I not just trust people? It must be because I'm soulless. It's easy for me!](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/675/14f.png)
Greentext Stories
OP have autism | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous 23 KB JPG 12/08/24(Sun)20:49:46 No.928403997 >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak much about Atari Jaguar >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak the importance of Virtual Boy in 32 bits generation >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak the story of Donkey Kong Country trilogy >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak about the Sega Saturn and the integration of your hardware complexity S---. Women are so boring. Like NPC. Anonymous >>928403997 (OP) # 12/08/24(Sun)20:52:39 No.928404128 Honestly, you just sound pretty autistic. I've never had women hate me when I show them the roses I grow or the woodwork I do. Women like it when the interests of the guy they're talking to have to do with something more than just video games. Anonymous 83 KB JPG 12/08/24(Sun)20:52:39 No.928404130 >>928403997 (OP) # You don't need a girlfriend. You need to beat every Zelda game in chronological order (across all 3 timelines) with 95% or greater completion.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/640/8ec.png)
![Anonymous 23 KB JPG 12/08/24(Sun)20:49:46 No.928403997 >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak much about Atari Jaguar >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak the importance of Virtual Boy in 32 bits generation >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak the story of Donkey Kong Country trilogy >I meet a girl >she hate me because I speak about the Sega Saturn and the integration of your hardware complexity S---. Women are so boring. Like NPC. Anonymous >>928403997 (OP) # 12/08/24(Sun)20:52:39 No.928404128 Honestly, you just sound pretty autistic. I've never had women hate me when I show them the roses I grow or the woodwork I do. Women like it when the interests of the guy they're talking to have to do with something more than just video games. Anonymous 83 KB JPG 12/08/24(Sun)20:52:39 No.928404130 >>928403997 (OP) # You don't need a girlfriend. You need to beat every Zelda game in chronological order (across all 3 timelines) with 95% or greater completion.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/640/8ec.png)
Greentext Stories
Femanon is 36 | /r/Greentext
![File: IMG 1445.jpg (336 KB, 1170x2048) Hide thread ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:11:04 No.79706197 [Reply] >36 >dead end office job >tried dating >see a guy once a month-ish and we'd have dinner >everyone is incompatible >always end up paying, afraid to look like I'm out for a meal >girls | babysat when they were kids are having kids and I'm not Just gonna rope when menopause hits. >> Showing all replies. ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:12:49 No.79706207 >>79706197 (OP) Maybe you shouldn't have been a w---- in your 20s ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:18:30 No.79706234 File: 1000031888.jpg (14 KB, 425x340) >>79706377 >>79706389 >>79706426 >>79706207 >>79706247 >>79706249 What exactly went wrong, that you could not find a single man worthy of you? Giving you are a woman. And literally millions of men are available to you? >> >> ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:21:06 No.79706245 can you cashapp me all your money when you do ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:21:21 No.79706247 >>79706197 (OP) be honest and admit that you had the opportunity to settle for your nice guy friend in hs or in college but you f----- tyrone and chad instead. unless you are 2/10 morbidly obese or deformed its guaranteed that at least one guy had a crush on you. so its all your fault, end of story Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:21:40 No.79706249 >>79706197 (OP) Who would be compatible? What are you looking for? Also nice picture ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:47:59 No.79706352 just picky](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/625/b2a.jpeg)
![File: IMG 1445.jpg (336 KB, 1170x2048) Hide thread ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:11:04 No.79706197 [Reply] >36 >dead end office job >tried dating >see a guy once a month-ish and we'd have dinner >everyone is incompatible >always end up paying, afraid to look like I'm out for a meal >girls | babysat when they were kids are having kids and I'm not Just gonna rope when menopause hits. >> Showing all replies. ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:12:49 No.79706207 >>79706197 (OP) Maybe you shouldn't have been a w---- in your 20s ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:18:30 No.79706234 File: 1000031888.jpg (14 KB, 425x340) >>79706377 >>79706389 >>79706426 >>79706207 >>79706247 >>79706249 What exactly went wrong, that you could not find a single man worthy of you? Giving you are a woman. And literally millions of men are available to you? >> >> ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:21:06 No.79706245 can you cashapp me all your money when you do ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:21:21 No.79706247 >>79706197 (OP) be honest and admit that you had the opportunity to settle for your nice guy friend in hs or in college but you f----- tyrone and chad instead. unless you are 2/10 morbidly obese or deformed its guaranteed that at least one guy had a crush on you. so its all your fault, end of story Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 12:21:40 No.79706249 >>79706197 (OP) Who would be compatible? What are you looking for? Also nice picture ☐ Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)12:47:59 No.79706352 just picky](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/625/b2a.jpeg)
Greentext Stories
Anon and the Home Run | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous hell 53 KB JPG throw my bat 08/07/22(Sun)18:21:14 No.883482551 >be me at 9 years old >Baseball game >I'm up to bat, bases loaded, our team is down 3-0 >I swing as hard as I can and the ball goes flying >My coach starts yelling at me to run >I am so excited about my hit that I >It hits him right in the thigh, connecting with his left ball >He ends up on the ground screaming >Fast forward 14 years >I'm working at a sit down pizza restaurant/bar >I see my old baseball coach at the bar and I go up to him excited >He sees me and laughs >Tells all his friends while laughing "this is the kid that hit my nuts with a baseball bat by accident" >His friends laugh, I laugh I hope your balls are doing well coach, if you ever need someone to empty them I'm right here](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/551/dbc.png)
![: Anonymous hell 53 KB JPG throw my bat 08/07/22(Sun)18:21:14 No.883482551 >be me at 9 years old >Baseball game >I'm up to bat, bases loaded, our team is down 3-0 >I swing as hard as I can and the ball goes flying >My coach starts yelling at me to run >I am so excited about my hit that I >It hits him right in the thigh, connecting with his left ball >He ends up on the ground screaming >Fast forward 14 years >I'm working at a sit down pizza restaurant/bar >I see my old baseball coach at the bar and I go up to him excited >He sees me and laughs >Tells all his friends while laughing "this is the kid that hit my nuts with a baseball bat by accident" >His friends laugh, I laugh I hope your balls are doing well coach, if you ever need someone to empty them I'm right here](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/551/dbc.png)
Greentext Stories
The Insurance Experience | /r/Greentext
![Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Food Insurance be like 0000 ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/09/24(Mon)00:39:57 No.79704897 1.55 MB PNG >Pay a quarter of your salary for food at any chain restaurant >Go to chain restaurant >Order >Pay at the counter >Sit down >FFW 30 mintues >Waiter comes to you >"Sorry, we have denied your claim because you don't look hungry enough despite paying thousands over the last 10 years to cover your bill" >"We will still keep the fee that you paid though because collateral or some s---" >Waiter leaves Now, do you now understand how insurance works?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/451/3b0.png)
![Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Food Insurance be like 0000 ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/09/24(Mon)00:39:57 No.79704897 1.55 MB PNG >Pay a quarter of your salary for food at any chain restaurant >Go to chain restaurant >Order >Pay at the counter >Sit down >FFW 30 mintues >Waiter comes to you >"Sorry, we have denied your claim because you don't look hungry enough despite paying thousands over the last 10 years to cover your bill" >"We will still keep the fee that you paid though because collateral or some s---" >Waiter leaves Now, do you now understand how insurance works?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/451/3b0.png)
Greentext Stories
Anon curses his luck | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous (ID: MIK5Amux) 7 KB PNG 03/12/23(Sun)13:41:04 No.419377472 > dad and brother are missing in action presumed dead > getting every night to numb pain > check snapchat to see what gf is up to > she fled with her family to germany > posted on her story > video of her dancing taking shots in a discotheque > dancing to techno in a slutty black dress > meanwhile hear my city is getting shelled daily in the background > to make matters worse I just got my draft notice, im to be deployed to the front lines Last year I was about to get married and then everything went to s---. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Anonymous (ID: hk+2RLTK) 03/12/23(Sun)13:45:09 No.419377747 What's a discotheque >>419377875 # >>419377988 # >>419378154 # >>419381241 # >>419381374 # >>419382003 # >>419384232 # >>419391942 # >>419392024 # >>419392215 # >>419392306 # >>419395238 # >>419395739 # >>419395900 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/438/e91.png)
![Anonymous (ID: MIK5Amux) 7 KB PNG 03/12/23(Sun)13:41:04 No.419377472 > dad and brother are missing in action presumed dead > getting every night to numb pain > check snapchat to see what gf is up to > she fled with her family to germany > posted on her story > video of her dancing taking shots in a discotheque > dancing to techno in a slutty black dress > meanwhile hear my city is getting shelled daily in the background > to make matters worse I just got my draft notice, im to be deployed to the front lines Last year I was about to get married and then everything went to s---. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Anonymous (ID: hk+2RLTK) 03/12/23(Sun)13:45:09 No.419377747 What's a discotheque >>419377875 # >>419377988 # >>419378154 # >>419381241 # >>419381374 # >>419382003 # >>419384232 # >>419391942 # >>419392024 # >>419392215 # >>419392306 # >>419395238 # >>419395739 # >>419395900 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/438/e91.png)
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Advice for anon pls | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous 360 KB JPG 12/01/23(Fri)21:37:30 No.910186270 I f----- up /b/ros >talking to my GF's friend >she mentioned she's on her period >mentions it makes her 'act up' in passing comment >w-- does she mean act up? Ask her >bluntly says it makes her horny >already treading treacherous ground at this point >try to break the ice and say the same happens with my GF >she chuckles >crisis averted >says she hasn't had any in a while >at this point I'm rock hard and throbbing >lose all sense of reason >I ask if she "needs a hand" >she immediately screenshots it and sends it to my gf How the f--- do I get out of this one???](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/428/48a.png)
![Anonymous 360 KB JPG 12/01/23(Fri)21:37:30 No.910186270 I f----- up /b/ros >talking to my GF's friend >she mentioned she's on her period >mentions it makes her 'act up' in passing comment >w-- does she mean act up? Ask her >bluntly says it makes her horny >already treading treacherous ground at this point >try to break the ice and say the same happens with my GF >she chuckles >crisis averted >says she hasn't had any in a while >at this point I'm rock hard and throbbing >lose all sense of reason >I ask if she "needs a hand" >she immediately screenshots it and sends it to my gf How the f--- do I get out of this one???](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/428/48a.png)
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Singing in the Wind | /r/Greentext
![Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: nHYftkSy) WRK Sinverness a Aberdeen Belfast a Edinburgh Newcastle Manchester Dublin 972 Birmingham ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/08/24(Sun)18:08:03 No.490873413 a Cardiff London Southampton Plymouth 388 KB PNG xn- >Be me, regular person The news: >RED WEATHER WARNING!!! >WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! >90MPH WINDS!!! >COVER YOUR COCKS!!! >Go outside >Drive >Everything looks normal >See busses operating >Every store is open >Nothing seems different to usual >Go to ASDA ("Walfart" US) >Full of people as usual >Go to le Range for some tacky s--- >Go to the car wash >Nobody and nothing is affected by the wind >Go home >Home still exists What the f--- was the news complaining about? Are they so America pilled that they think homes will collapse when someone farts on it? What? Some trees fell down in a park? Ok lol i'm so scared. I'm going to get crushed by a tree in a park that nobody goes to. If I want to shoot up heroin, I will just do it at home. No trees to worry about.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/368/4ce.png)
![Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: nHYftkSy) WRK Sinverness a Aberdeen Belfast a Edinburgh Newcastle Manchester Dublin 972 Birmingham ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/08/24(Sun)18:08:03 No.490873413 a Cardiff London Southampton Plymouth 388 KB PNG xn- >Be me, regular person The news: >RED WEATHER WARNING!!! >WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! >90MPH WINDS!!! >COVER YOUR COCKS!!! >Go outside >Drive >Everything looks normal >See busses operating >Every store is open >Nothing seems different to usual >Go to ASDA ("Walfart" US) >Full of people as usual >Go to le Range for some tacky s--- >Go to the car wash >Nobody and nothing is affected by the wind >Go home >Home still exists What the f--- was the news complaining about? Are they so America pilled that they think homes will collapse when someone farts on it? What? Some trees fell down in a park? Ok lol i'm so scared. I'm going to get crushed by a tree in a park that nobody goes to. If I want to shoot up heroin, I will just do it at home. No trees to worry about.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/368/4ce.png)
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Anons ask questions about the state of the wor;d | /r/Greentext
![File: IMG_1812.jpg (244 KB, 1763x1177) Syrian Civil War Anonymous 12/08/24(Sun)14:09:34 No.63000987 >>63000998 >>63001029 >>63001039 >>63001056 The war is over >rebel forces took Damascus >apparently there was no Syrian Army resistance >Assad fled to Russia What happened? The war was basically at a stand still for a decade and then all of a sudden the rebels swept through the country. Did Putin stop paying Assad? What led to this overwhelming military success? Anonymous 12/08/24(Sun)14:11:02 No.63000998 >>63000987 (OP) Does this mean all the refugees can go home? >>63001009 >>63001027](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/965/269/723.png)
![File: IMG_1812.jpg (244 KB, 1763x1177) Syrian Civil War Anonymous 12/08/24(Sun)14:09:34 No.63000987 >>63000998 >>63001029 >>63001039 >>63001056 The war is over >rebel forces took Damascus >apparently there was no Syrian Army resistance >Assad fled to Russia What happened? The war was basically at a stand still for a decade and then all of a sudden the rebels swept through the country. Did Putin stop paying Assad? What led to this overwhelming military success? Anonymous 12/08/24(Sun)14:11:02 No.63000998 >>63000987 (OP) Does this mean all the refugees can go home? >>63001009 >>63001027](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/965/269/723.png)
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