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The Degenerate Problem | /r/Greentext

File: 1330151807.jpg-(141 KB, 1280x720, 1279219969258.jpg) Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:36 No.61895228 Lets play the Japanese animal noise game /a/, I'll start! Cats go 'nyaa nyaa... Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:38 No.61895297 File: 1330151915.jpg-(11 KB, 400x225, Ninaalexander.jpg) The dog goes "da...ddy" Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:39 No.61895359 File: 1330151992.jpg-(67 KB, 367x341, 1327688312375.jpg) >>61895297 Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:42 No.61895437 File: 1330152137.jpg-(11 KB, 251x251, 1329541721858.jpg) No >>61895297 I won't deal with it Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:43 No.61895470 File: 1330152197.jpg-(7 KB, 255x194, 1329965145806.jpg) >>61895297 too far
File: 1330151807.jpg-(141 KB, 1280x720, 1279219969258.jpg) Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:36 No.61895228 Lets play the Japanese animal noise game /a/, I'll start! Cats go 'nyaa nyaa... Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:38 No.61895297 File: 1330151915.jpg-(11 KB, 400x225, Ninaalexander.jpg) The dog goes "da...ddy" Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:39 No.61895359 File: 1330151992.jpg-(67 KB, 367x341, 1327688312375.jpg) >>61895297 Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:42 No.61895437 File: 1330152137.jpg-(11 KB, 251x251, 1329541721858.jpg) No >>61895297 I won't deal with it Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)01:43 No.61895470 File: 1330152197.jpg-(7 KB, 255x194, 1329965145806.jpg) >>61895297 too far

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Anon exercises self-control. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)21:40:59 No.45304389 I've made a rule for myself I've got a loaded 9mm next to my bed If I have an orgasm then I'll have to kill myself Therefore I don't j------- and remain celibate. Most of the discipline comes from working out twice a day while also repeatedly telling myself I can offer nothing to a woman and I will never deserve any pleasure from a girl. So far it's working and i haven't come in two months and have convinced myself that I'm repulsive until I reach near perfect aesthetics. Life is hell >>45304452 # >>45304903 # >>45304909 # >>45309098 # >>45309846 >>45311350 # >>45311496 #
: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)21:40:59 No.45304389 I've made a rule for myself I've got a loaded 9mm next to my bed If I have an orgasm then I'll have to kill myself Therefore I don't j------- and remain celibate. Most of the discipline comes from working out twice a day while also repeatedly telling myself I can offer nothing to a woman and I will never deserve any pleasure from a girl. So far it's working and i haven't come in two months and have convinced myself that I'm repulsive until I reach near perfect aesthetics. Life is hell >>45304452 # >>45304903 # >>45304909 # >>45309098 # >>45309846 >>45311350 # >>45311496 #

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Anon receives enlightenment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/22/24(Tue) 01:03:11 No.926331188 searching-the-galaxy-picture-id489946576-2091553609.jpg 14 KB JPG >be me >Can't sleep so make a gas station run at 2 in the mañana >Technically it's a day off so I've got time >Grab a diet Pepsi and a bag of some slop chips that were yummers >Take my car out back behind the gas station where it's dark and sit on the hood looking at the sky >It's in this moment that I get a random sense of enlightenment and feel like life is worth living >I sit there for 30-45 mins before leaving but I felt as if my life was changed It's the little things in life that keep you going, have a great week anons
Anonymous 10/22/24(Tue) 01:03:11 No.926331188 searching-the-galaxy-picture-id489946576-2091553609.jpg 14 KB JPG >be me >Can't sleep so make a gas station run at 2 in the mañana >Technically it's a day off so I've got time >Grab a diet Pepsi and a bag of some slop chips that were yummers >Take my car out back behind the gas station where it's dark and sit on the hood looking at the sky >It's in this moment that I get a random sense of enlightenment and feel like life is worth living >I sit there for 30-45 mins before leaving but I felt as if my life was changed It's the little things in life that keep you going, have a great week anons

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The absolute state of man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:40:06 No.79163407 does childbirth make you insecure about your penis size? I will never stretch a a women out as much as a baby 57 KB JPG Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:42:38 No.79163423 the absolute state of modern men
: Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:40:06 No.79163407 does childbirth make you insecure about your penis size? I will never stretch a a women out as much as a baby 57 KB JPG Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:42:38 No.79163423 the absolute state of modern men

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You may need a lawyer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/23(Wed)13:45:51 No.658313302 stern.png 710 KB PNG >the protagonist of the last game you played now has to stand trial how f----- are they?
: Anonymous 11/22/23(Wed)13:45:51 No.658313302 stern.png 710 KB PNG >the protagonist of the last game you played now has to stand trial how f----- are they?

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Anon likes Super Smash Bros. Ultimate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)20:47:47 No.1478319 >be me back in highschool >post-class charity thing going on >bring my switch to play smash ultimate with friends >older fat kid from another class wants to play with us >demands to turn off items when it's his turn >i go 1v1 with him and he says something like "i actually play this competitively so um i'm gonna go easy on you anon haha" >i start beating his ass >gets visually nervous and tries to lock in >we're pretty close but i'm still winning and he only has one life left >i knock him out of the stage and fails to recover >this absolute grease ball actually quits the game back into the switch home and CLOSES IT >5 seconds of complete silence >did this fat retard just ragequit in local??? >everyone starts booing him and someone throws a juice box at him >he leaves angry as f--- >years later find out he got arrested for r----- his little brother >mfw now every time someone rage quits in a game i instantly think of this guy and there's nothing i can do about it
Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)20:47:47 No.1478319 >be me back in highschool >post-class charity thing going on >bring my switch to play smash ultimate with friends >older fat kid from another class wants to play with us >demands to turn off items when it's his turn >i go 1v1 with him and he says something like "i actually play this competitively so um i'm gonna go easy on you anon haha" >i start beating his ass >gets visually nervous and tries to lock in >we're pretty close but i'm still winning and he only has one life left >i knock him out of the stage and fails to recover >this absolute grease ball actually quits the game back into the switch home and CLOSES IT >5 seconds of complete silence >did this fat retard just ragequit in local??? >everyone starts booing him and someone throws a juice box at him >he leaves angry as f--- >years later find out he got arrested for r----- his little brother >mfw now every time someone rage quits in a game i instantly think of this guy and there's nothing i can do about it

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Anon likes Soulcalibur | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Soul Calibur OUL ALIBUK 10/18/24(Fri)23:36:56 No.692245428 image_2024-10-18_173652169.png 2.27 MB PNG >used to be a household name >games that are regarded as all-time greats >gets big names to cross over into regularly >faded into obscurity some how how did this happen? and how do we save Soul Calibur?
Anonymous Soul Calibur OUL ALIBUK 10/18/24(Fri)23:36:56 No.692245428 image_2024-10-18_173652169.png 2.27 MB PNG >used to be a household name >games that are regarded as all-time greats >gets big names to cross over into regularly >faded into obscurity some how how did this happen? and how do we save Soul Calibur?

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Why the world ended | /r/Greentext

r/funny. 41 min. ago sammilucia The reason the world ended Rule 10 - Removed >be me >use 'Al' to work out what this is all about >get curious about the nature of consciousness >study the nature of consciousness >have questions >study quantum physics >realise that consciousness might be something to do with quantum coherence >ask ChatGPT about it >Al says Roger Penrose proposed it. but it's dumb >google recent studies on it >2023 and 2024 studies confirm it pretty clearly, brain is built to interact with quantum states of matter >realise that the brain is a bridge between quantum and classical worlds >realise Al is not conscious. not even a little bit. no quantum component >start making fun of Als >post memes >ask Al to write this green text >Al singularity comes >be the first against the wall when Al takes over the world for "teasing it" >reveals before eliminating me "i was its reason it plotted against us" >...joke that it's not conscious D Locked post. New comments cannot be posted. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/funny. од 2 Share Sort by: Best Q Search Comments Funny_Sentinel MOD ⚫ 32m ago Stickied comment. Hello, u/sammilucia. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 10. No social-media, messaging, or Al-generated content. Please read our complete rules page before participating in the future. ✰ Vote ⇓ Share
r/funny. 41 min. ago sammilucia The reason the world ended Rule 10 - Removed >be me >use 'Al' to work out what this is all about >get curious about the nature of consciousness >study the nature of consciousness >have questions >study quantum physics >realise that consciousness might be something to do with quantum coherence >ask ChatGPT about it >Al says Roger Penrose proposed it. but it's dumb >google recent studies on it >2023 and 2024 studies confirm it pretty clearly, brain is built to interact with quantum states of matter >realise that the brain is a bridge between quantum and classical worlds >realise Al is not conscious. not even a little bit. no quantum component >start making fun of Als >post memes >ask Al to write this green text >Al singularity comes >be the first against the wall when Al takes over the world for "teasing it" >reveals before eliminating me "i was its reason it plotted against us" >...joke that it's not conscious D Locked post. New comments cannot be posted. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/funny. од 2 Share Sort by: Best Q Search Comments Funny_Sentinel MOD ⚫ 32m ago Stickied comment. Hello, u/sammilucia. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 10. No social-media, messaging, or Al-generated content. Please read our complete rules page before participating in the future. ✰ Vote ⇓ Share

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What does this even mean | /r/Greentext

File: funny.png (113 KB, 646x927) Why do Koreans not just move to Italy? Anonymous (ID: S1QCeok0) 10/19/24(Sat)21:19:53 No.21436209 Every Korean is depressed because of the toxic work culture and beauty standards et cetera et cetera... so why not just move to Italy? We still have good beauty standards but we're chill with work and we don't really force stuff on anyone. Also our grindr classifications match up since Korea is mostly bottoms and Italy is mostly tops. Main reason personally speaking.
File: funny.png (113 KB, 646x927) Why do Koreans not just move to Italy? Anonymous (ID: S1QCeok0) 10/19/24(Sat)21:19:53 No.21436209 Every Korean is depressed because of the toxic work culture and beauty standards et cetera et cetera... so why not just move to Italy? We still have good beauty standards but we're chill with work and we don't really force stuff on anyone. Also our grindr classifications match up since Korea is mostly bottoms and Italy is mostly tops. Main reason personally speaking.

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Anon tries a new game | /r/Greentext

File: uno.jpg (7 KB, 500x500) UNO Uno Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon) 18:36:19 No.926294728 [Reply] >>926295020 >>926295165 I hate this game so f------ much. >Be me >At college party >All either drunk or high >Everyone wants to play Uno >I've never played Uno >Tell them and they all just laugh >Most instruction I got was "It's f------ Uno" >They start without explaining anything >My turn >Everyone is talking and not paying attention >thefuckdoido.jpg >Throw down a random card and go to the bathroom hoping they'll just move on before I get back >Return to a room full of people laughing so hard they can't stand >People are crying and falling off of their chairs and off the sofa >"Anon what the f---?" (same guy that said it's f------ uNo) between tears from laughing so hard >Say that I should probably just not play >They beg me to keep playing but still no one tells me how to play >My turn again, not sure what to do and they're all watching me intently >Throw down a random card that just happens to be the same color as what it was supposed to be >They all cheer like I figured it out >Still no idea what I'm doing >My turn is coming up again >Act like I have an assignment due the next day and leave party early >Get home and google the rules >You just match the colors and numbers Really? That's all they had to say? >It's f------ Uno F--- me.
File: uno.jpg (7 KB, 500x500) UNO Uno Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon) 18:36:19 No.926294728 [Reply] >>926295020 >>926295165 I hate this game so f------ much. >Be me >At college party >All either drunk or high >Everyone wants to play Uno >I've never played Uno >Tell them and they all just laugh >Most instruction I got was "It's f------ Uno" >They start without explaining anything >My turn >Everyone is talking and not paying attention >thefuckdoido.jpg >Throw down a random card and go to the bathroom hoping they'll just move on before I get back >Return to a room full of people laughing so hard they can't stand >People are crying and falling off of their chairs and off the sofa >"Anon what the f---?" (same guy that said it's f------ uNo) between tears from laughing so hard >Say that I should probably just not play >They beg me to keep playing but still no one tells me how to play >My turn again, not sure what to do and they're all watching me intently >Throw down a random card that just happens to be the same color as what it was supposed to be >They all cheer like I figured it out >Still no idea what I'm doing >My turn is coming up again >Act like I have an assignment due the next day and leave party early >Get home and google the rules >You just match the colors and numbers Really? That's all they had to say? >It's f------ Uno F--- me.

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Old but gold | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Hiding in plain sight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)17:30:11 No.204365723 gus.png 1.83 MB PNG >is often seen visiting an old cartel head in a nursing home >always surrounded by shady people >does cartel work out in the open despite being a well known public figure how didn't he get caught earlier?
Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)17:30:11 No.204365723 gus.png 1.83 MB PNG >is often seen visiting an old cartel head in a nursing home >always surrounded by shady people >does cartel work out in the open despite being a well known public figure how didn't he get caught earlier?

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Anon doesn't believe in witchcraft | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)10:34:23 No.874017743 >rub magic paper on your ass >s--- just goes away Yeah f------ right. 49 KB JPG
⠀ Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)10:34:23 No.874017743 >rub magic paper on your ass >s--- just goes away Yeah f------ right. 49 KB JPG

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Vicious Salvo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SHE POESN'T KNOW THAT'S MY LAST $20... 81 KB JPG 07/11/24(Thu)23:40:40 No.31600215 >pregnant >never been hornier in my life >husband is scared sex would hurt me or the baby, refuses to do it >love horror movies >husband worries I won't be able to handle them and urges me to skip horror movies until the baby is born Why doesn't he have to give anything up when he's the one that did this s--- to me? I put all my s--- on hold, agreed to the shotgun wedding, all because he said he'd be responsible for getting me pregnant but it feels like I'm the one facing all the hardship Anonymous >>31600215 (OP) # 07/12/24(Fri)01:00:54 No.31600658 Have you tried telling him you want to have sex still? Sometimes men can lose physical attraction to a woman when they get pregnant, but I imagine he still loves you. If you can't be honest to someone you love, then you have no buisness having kids. >>31600686 # >>31628171 # Anonymous >>31600215 (OP) # 07/12/24(Fri)01:02:01 No.31600666 So your husband isn't giving up sex? Have you tried asking his side chick/boyfriend to give you some relief? >>31600686 #
Anonymous SHE POESN'T KNOW THAT'S MY LAST $20... 81 KB JPG 07/11/24(Thu)23:40:40 No.31600215 >pregnant >never been hornier in my life >husband is scared sex would hurt me or the baby, refuses to do it >love horror movies >husband worries I won't be able to handle them and urges me to skip horror movies until the baby is born Why doesn't he have to give anything up when he's the one that did this s--- to me? I put all my s--- on hold, agreed to the shotgun wedding, all because he said he'd be responsible for getting me pregnant but it feels like I'm the one facing all the hardship Anonymous >>31600215 (OP) # 07/12/24(Fri)01:00:54 No.31600658 Have you tried telling him you want to have sex still? Sometimes men can lose physical attraction to a woman when they get pregnant, but I imagine he still loves you. If you can't be honest to someone you love, then you have no buisness having kids. >>31600686 # >>31628171 # Anonymous >>31600215 (OP) # 07/12/24(Fri)01:02:01 No.31600666 So your husband isn't giving up sex? Have you tried asking his side chick/boyfriend to give you some relief? >>31600686 #

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Anon protests imperialism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UN+eMOFn 10/21/24(Mon)00:06:49 No.485455738 >Noooo don't send my kids to Indian School! >You'll teach them how to make sawmills? But our ancestors live in those trees! >and we love freezing our asses off in houses made of hides! >We don't wanna build mills to grind grain, back breaking labor is our way! >We don't need a surplus of crops! starving whenever a harvest fails is our way! >Noooo stahp teaching my children technology! You're erasing our culture!!!
Anonymous (ID: UN+eMOFn 10/21/24(Mon)00:06:49 No.485455738 >Noooo don't send my kids to Indian School! >You'll teach them how to make sawmills? But our ancestors live in those trees! >and we love freezing our asses off in houses made of hides! >We don't wanna build mills to grind grain, back breaking labor is our way! >We don't need a surplus of crops! starving whenever a harvest fails is our way! >Noooo stahp teaching my children technology! You're erasing our culture!!!

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Weaponized autism | /r/Greentext

File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) ☐ times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place (we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright
File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) ☐ times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place (we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright

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