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Anon makes paratroopers | /r/Greentext

File: N-008.png (283 KB, 523x567) HAN RED WHITE &BIL PARACH Anonymous 03/24/17(Fri)11:29:31 No.726714895 [Reply] > be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached ~5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive >mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related
File: N-008.png (283 KB, 523x567) HAN RED WHITE &BIL PARACH Anonymous 03/24/17(Fri)11:29:31 No.726714895 [Reply] > be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached ~5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive >mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related

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Power outages | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/22(Tue)10:01:03 No.694622 >alert on phone saying a power outage is coming soon >the chicken nuggets still have 15 minutes in the oven 375 KB JPG
Anonymous 07/19/22(Tue)10:01:03 No.694622 >alert on phone saying a power outage is coming soon >the chicken nuggets still have 15 minutes in the oven 375 KB JPG

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I think he meant a small handful of exes not more than 2 buses worth of hookups. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 158 KB JPG 02/10/23(Fri)16:24:30 No.29554341 >hitting things off well with a cute cis guy >kinda falling in love with him >I say during a conversation that guys who want virgins are delusional, dumb, and overly judgmental >he says "Yeah, I totally agree, nothing wrong with having a past or some experience" >I tell him "Thanks. I've slept with maybe... 60 or 70 people? It's not that big of a deal. All that matters is the present." >he looks uncomfortable and says "uh... yeah" >distances himself from me afterwards What.
Anonymous 158 KB JPG 02/10/23(Fri)16:24:30 No.29554341 >hitting things off well with a cute cis guy >kinda falling in love with him >I say during a conversation that guys who want virgins are delusional, dumb, and overly judgmental >he says "Yeah, I totally agree, nothing wrong with having a past or some experience" >I tell him "Thanks. I've slept with maybe... 60 or 70 people? It's not that big of a deal. All that matters is the present." >he looks uncomfortable and says "uh... yeah" >distances himself from me afterwards What.

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didn't expect it to be holesome | /r/Greentext

/toy/ Anonymous my Christmas experience 6 KB JPG 01/05/21(Tue)21:33:59 No.8677314 >be me >an 18 year old autistic kid who likes stuff animals > tell my older brother about these round seal plush toys from japan that are really cute >brother probably not paying too much attention I assumed so I forgot I told him > fast forward to December 25th >brother hands me a flat package >I think it's a shirt or something > I open it up I find a very flattened small version of the seal pillow I told him about > I am very happy and tell him how much I love it > thanks brother
/toy/ Anonymous my Christmas experience 6 KB JPG 01/05/21(Tue)21:33:59 No.8677314 >be me >an 18 year old autistic kid who likes stuff animals > tell my older brother about these round seal plush toys from japan that are really cute >brother probably not paying too much attention I assumed so I forgot I told him > fast forward to December 25th >brother hands me a flat package >I think it's a shirt or something > I open it up I find a very flattened small version of the seal pillow I told him about > I am very happy and tell him how much I love it > thanks brother

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What did she mean by this? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)21:13:46 No.204304690 harryp.png 752 KB PNG >all good looking girls are taken >the only ones left are undesirable scraps >make them indian uhhhhh rowling?
Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)21:13:46 No.204304690 harryp.png 752 KB PNG >all good looking girls are taken >the only ones left are undesirable scraps >make them indian uhhhhh rowling?

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US Military Research | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/24(Thu)05:17:11 No.38392817 06-10-06smile.jpg 45 KB JPG >humans have existed for 100,000 years >archeologists have discovered human skulls with perfectly preserved and intact teeth, not even a single cavity. >fast forward to modern times >suddenly humans have to brush our teeth twice a day every single day or our teeth will rot and fall out. Also, just for fun, look up caries vaccine and why we don't have one. Anonymous >>38392817 (OP) # 07/18/24(Thu)05:20:20 No.38392833 That's because of all the sugar everywhere in our diet. People from Pompeii, for instance, had perfectly good teeth even when they were like 40-- LOL.
: Anonymous 07/18/24(Thu)05:17:11 No.38392817 06-10-06smile.jpg 45 KB JPG >humans have existed for 100,000 years >archeologists have discovered human skulls with perfectly preserved and intact teeth, not even a single cavity. >fast forward to modern times >suddenly humans have to brush our teeth twice a day every single day or our teeth will rot and fall out. Also, just for fun, look up caries vaccine and why we don't have one. Anonymous >>38392817 (OP) # 07/18/24(Thu)05:20:20 No.38392833 That's because of all the sugar everywhere in our diet. People from Pompeii, for instance, had perfectly good teeth even when they were like 40-- LOL.

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Weeb talk and banter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat)00:01:54 No.87728786 Pipkin Pinna Low exort Clips maxresdefault.jpg 68 KB JPG >pink >obvious grifter >retarded >stirs up drama >makes the worst music imaginable >be mori calliope >pic unrelated
: Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat)00:01:54 No.87728786 Pipkin Pinna Low exort Clips maxresdefault.jpg 68 KB JPG >pink >obvious grifter >retarded >stirs up drama >makes the worst music imaginable >be mori calliope >pic unrelated

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Survival of the retardest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: XS0ICUaz) [⭑ CLOVER LEAF THON PALE EN MORCEAUX LISTAO dans L'EAU& www CLOVER LEAF 10/07/24(Mon) 15:48:04 No.484065410 CHUNK LIGHT TUNA SKIPIACK in WATER CLOVER THON PALE EN MORCEAUX CLOVER THON PALEEN MORCEAUX BRUS SARD SPRING WALER EAU DE SOURC SARDINES CARDINES BR NICK BARE NES NICK SARDINES SPRING WA EAU DE SO SPRING WATER EAU DE SOURCE SPRING WATER EAU DE SORCE SPRING WATE EAU DE SOup FEMALE EJACUL UNLEASH THE ULTIMATE FINE SILVER ARGENT PUR 900790168 Expandable el EMA EDERAL GAME 1294CB B SOMRAJ POKRA DR. JEFFRE TALL 036B808D-2216-4273-AF7E-B69DE37FADBC.jpg 761 KB JPG >buy decent food processor >buy vacuum sealer >buy large dehydrator >100lbs of rice >cook rice then dehydrate it >100lbs of black bean >cook beans then dehydrate >100lbs of lean ground beef >cook beef then dehydrate and grind into fine powder with food processor Vacuum seal everything separately in appropriate portion sizes for you and make sure to use oxygen absorbers. You have just created 230 days of survival food for one person that only requires water to rehydrate and eat. Season as you see fit. You're welcome.
Anonymous (ID: XS0ICUaz) [⭑ CLOVER LEAF THON PALE EN MORCEAUX LISTAO dans L'EAU& www CLOVER LEAF 10/07/24(Mon) 15:48:04 No.484065410 CHUNK LIGHT TUNA SKIPIACK in WATER CLOVER THON PALE EN MORCEAUX CLOVER THON PALEEN MORCEAUX BRUS SARD SPRING WALER EAU DE SOURC SARDINES CARDINES BR NICK BARE NES NICK SARDINES SPRING WA EAU DE SO SPRING WATER EAU DE SOURCE SPRING WATER EAU DE SORCE SPRING WATE EAU DE SOup FEMALE EJACUL UNLEASH THE ULTIMATE FINE SILVER ARGENT PUR 900790168 Expandable el EMA EDERAL GAME 1294CB B SOMRAJ POKRA DR. JEFFRE TALL 036B808D-2216-4273-AF7E-B69DE37FADBC.jpg 761 KB JPG >buy decent food processor >buy vacuum sealer >buy large dehydrator >100lbs of rice >cook rice then dehydrate it >100lbs of black bean >cook beans then dehydrate >100lbs of lean ground beef >cook beef then dehydrate and grind into fine powder with food processor Vacuum seal everything separately in appropriate portion sizes for you and make sure to use oxygen absorbers. You have just created 230 days of survival food for one person that only requires water to rehydrate and eat. Season as you see fit. You're welcome.

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Imagine actually watching Bleach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The school parts of Bleach are(...) 33 KB JPG 04/02/22(Sat)20:28:53 No.236144851 >watch Bleach >skip past all of the action / story stuff >exclusively watch the slice-of-life school parts with Ichigo and his friends >don't bother with any of the supernatural ghost hunting business
Anonymous The school parts of Bleach are(...) 33 KB JPG 04/02/22(Sat)20:28:53 No.236144851 >watch Bleach >skip past all of the action / story stuff >exclusively watch the slice-of-life school parts with Ichigo and his friends >don't bother with any of the supernatural ghost hunting business

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A 4chinner's pipe dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/24(Mon)05:10:06 No.691106620 >play romance game 1728263026609854.jpg 221 KB JPG >realized you will never experience that because you don't even like people enough to form meaningful relationships Why does it only makes me emptier?
: Anonymous 10/07/24(Mon)05:10:06 No.691106620 >play romance game 1728263026609854.jpg 221 KB JPG >realized you will never experience that because you don't even like people enough to form meaningful relationships Why does it only makes me emptier?

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Anon buys a brand new TV and faces the consequences of living in the United States | /r/Greentext

Dode :Rest at bonfire Flask >just get a tv bro 1729090426677034.jpg 87 KB JPG Anonymous BATTING IN 26 HOURS SHOHEI OHTANI 10/16/24(Wed)19:53:21 No.102846945 >>102846929 (OP) # uh why is there a baseball player in the corner? >>102846953 # >>102852969 # >>102853515 # >>102855119 # Anonymous10/16/24(Wed)19:54:10 No.102846953 >>102846945 # New Dark Souls boss. 02846949
Dode :Rest at bonfire Flask >just get a tv bro 1729090426677034.jpg 87 KB JPG Anonymous BATTING IN 26 HOURS SHOHEI OHTANI 10/16/24(Wed)19:53:21 No.102846945 >>102846929 (OP) # uh why is there a baseball player in the corner? >>102846953 # >>102852969 # >>102853515 # >>102855119 # Anonymous10/16/24(Wed)19:54:10 No.102846953 >>102846945 # New Dark Souls boss. 02846949

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Anon goes for judo lessons | /r/Greentext

File: Nagatoroo.png (261 KB, 379x544) ☐ Judo Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat) 15:51:00 No.79175000 >>79175019 >be me at 15 years old >i've just started practicing judo, obviously i'm a white belt >i can't train properly so my sensei calls a girl and tells me to train with her because she's more experienced >anon, now we are going to train ne waza so follow me", that's what she said >ne waza are judo techniques performed on the ground >my mind is racing, I've never trained and touched a girl so close, especially one a bit older than me. >have no idea what ne waza was at that time, so I can't fight properly >there comes a moment when we're fighting and she's underneath me >I try to grab her collar but accidentally end up groping her boobs... >it was the first time I'd ever touched a girl's breasts >I was paralyzed and stayed in the same position for a while... >she got angry and turned me around and started to do an arm lock (the name of the technique was juji gatami if I'm not mistaken) on me >she said "if you have time to do what you did that's what you'll get" i never touched a girl's boobs ever again, i was traumatized but it feels good, do all women do that when you accidentally touch their breasts?
File: Nagatoroo.png (261 KB, 379x544) ☐ Judo Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat) 15:51:00 No.79175000 >>79175019 >be me at 15 years old >i've just started practicing judo, obviously i'm a white belt >i can't train properly so my sensei calls a girl and tells me to train with her because she's more experienced >anon, now we are going to train ne waza so follow me", that's what she said >ne waza are judo techniques performed on the ground >my mind is racing, I've never trained and touched a girl so close, especially one a bit older than me. >have no idea what ne waza was at that time, so I can't fight properly >there comes a moment when we're fighting and she's underneath me >I try to grab her collar but accidentally end up groping her boobs... >it was the first time I'd ever touched a girl's breasts >I was paralyzed and stayed in the same position for a while... >she got angry and turned me around and started to do an arm lock (the name of the technique was juji gatami if I'm not mistaken) on me >she said "if you have time to do what you did that's what you'll get" i never touched a girl's boobs ever again, i was traumatized but it feels good, do all women do that when you accidentally touch their breasts?

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Anon works out without his glasses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/13(Tue)11:08:42 UTC-4 No.19056535 Replies: >>19056641 >>19057097 >>19057488 >>19057762 >>19058744 File: 1365520122067.gif-(900 KB, 160x160, B1Svg.gif) >don't wear glasses while working out so they don't fall off/break/whatever >doing a heavy set of squatz >last 2 reps saying some "come on ahhh f------ get it" s--- >bald black dude sitting over in the other comer >"Oh hey sorry man I hope I wasn't too loud or anything" >walk closer >black guy was actually a pile of free weights
Anonymous 04/09/13(Tue)11:08:42 UTC-4 No.19056535 Replies: >>19056641 >>19057097 >>19057488 >>19057762 >>19058744 File: 1365520122067.gif-(900 KB, 160x160, B1Svg.gif) >don't wear glasses while working out so they don't fall off/break/whatever >doing a heavy set of squatz >last 2 reps saying some "come on ahhh f------ get it" s--- >bald black dude sitting over in the other comer >"Oh hey sorry man I hope I wasn't too loud or anything" >walk closer >black guy was actually a pile of free weights

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Anon forgets the fact that the devs have changed after LiS 1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Double Exposure sucks LIFE STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE 427 KB PNG 10/19/24(Sat) 01:40:42 No.692255437 >close friend is shot literally in front of her eyes >barely any grief >max's biggest worry is that her apartment isn't tidy when a friend visits to give her emotional support It's only been an hour. How can the writing take such a nosedive already?
: Anonymous Double Exposure sucks LIFE STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE 427 KB PNG 10/19/24(Sat) 01:40:42 No.692255437 >close friend is shot literally in front of her eyes >barely any grief >max's biggest worry is that her apartment isn't tidy when a friend visits to give her emotional support It's only been an hour. How can the writing take such a nosedive already?

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What /fit/izens do besides lifting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 05/25/22(Wed)05:30:16 No.66907640 >So tell me Anon, what other hobbies do you have besides lifting? 35 KB JPG : Anonymous being racist >>66907778 # 05/25/22(Wed)05:31:16 No.66907641
Anonymous 75 05/25/22(Wed)05:30:16 No.66907640 >So tell me Anon, what other hobbies do you have besides lifting? 35 KB JPG : Anonymous being racist >>66907778 # 05/25/22(Wed)05:31:16 No.66907641

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Anon broke internet rules | /r/Greentext

File: pepe-the-frog-afraid.gif (101 KB, 640x640) Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:51:25 No.79168378 ► >be me 15, 4 years ago >love saying offensive things on the internet >was very edgy >favorite past time >eventually someone contacts my school with a whole file on just who I am >multiple accounts >horrible vile things I said >principal calls me in office >says name of account >face gets light headed and white >I feel wonky the rest of the day and uneasy > I ditched that account for a whole new one >keep saying horrible things on reddit >called back in days later >start telling the principal how I don't care and how I can say what I want online >he agrees >person emailing school threatens to come after me >school blocks email >I keep doing it and nothing happens
File: pepe-the-frog-afraid.gif (101 KB, 640x640) Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:51:25 No.79168378 ► >be me 15, 4 years ago >love saying offensive things on the internet >was very edgy >favorite past time >eventually someone contacts my school with a whole file on just who I am >multiple accounts >horrible vile things I said >principal calls me in office >says name of account >face gets light headed and white >I feel wonky the rest of the day and uneasy > I ditched that account for a whole new one >keep saying horrible things on reddit >called back in days later >start telling the principal how I don't care and how I can say what I want online >he agrees >person emailing school threatens to come after me >school blocks email >I keep doing it and nothing happens

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