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File: N-008.png (283 KB, 523x567) HAN RED WHITE &BIL PARACH Anonymous 03/24/17(Fri)11:29:31 No.726714895 [Reply] > be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached ~5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive >mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Power outages | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/22(Tue)10:01:03 No.694622 >alert on phone saying a power outage is coming soon >the chicken nuggets still have 15 minutes in the oven 375 KB JPG

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I think he meant a small handful of exes not more than 2 buses worth of hookups. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 158 KB JPG 02/10/23(Fri)16:24:30 No.29554341 >hitting things off well with a cute cis guy >kinda falling in love with him >I say during a conversation that guys who want virgins are delusional, dumb, and overly judgmental >he says "Yeah, I totally agree, nothing wrong with having a past or some experience" >I tell him "Thanks. I've slept with maybe... 60 or 70 people? It's not that big of a deal. All that matters is the present." >he looks uncomfortable and says "uh... yeah" >distances himself from me afterwards What.

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didn't expect it to be holesome | /r/Greentext

/toy/ Anonymous my Christmas experience 6 KB JPG 01/05/21(Tue)21:33:59 No.8677314 >be me >an 18 year old autistic kid who likes stuff animals > tell my older brother about these round seal plush toys from japan that are really cute >brother probably not paying too much attention I assumed so I forgot I told him > fast forward to December 25th >brother hands me a flat package >I think it's a shirt or something > I open it up I find a very flattened small version of the seal pillow I told him about > I am very happy and tell him how much I love it > thanks brother

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What did she mean by this? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)21:13:46 No.204304690 harryp.png 752 KB PNG >all good looking girls are taken >the only ones left are undesirable scraps >make them indian uhhhhh rowling?

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US Military Research | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/24(Thu)05:17:11 No.38392817 06-10-06smile.jpg 45 KB JPG >humans have existed for 100,000 years >archeologists have discovered human skulls with perfectly preserved and intact teeth, not even a single cavity. >fast forward to modern times >suddenly humans have to brush our teeth twice a day every single day or our teeth will rot and fall out. Also, just for fun, look up caries vaccine and why we don't have one. Anonymous >>38392817 (OP) # 07/18/24(Thu)05:20:20 No.38392833 That's because of all the sugar everywhere in our diet. People from Pompeii, for instance, had perfectly good teeth even when they were like 40-- LOL.

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Weeb talk and banter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat)00:01:54 No.87728786 Pipkin Pinna Low exort Clips maxresdefault.jpg 68 KB JPG >pink >obvious grifter >retarded >stirs up drama >makes the worst music imaginable >be mori calliope >pic unrelated

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Survival of the retardest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: XS0ICUaz) [⭑ CLOVER LEAF THON PALE EN MORCEAUX LISTAO dans L'EAU& www CLOVER LEAF 10/07/24(Mon) 15:48:04 No.484065410 CHUNK LIGHT TUNA SKIPIACK in WATER CLOVER THON PALE EN MORCEAUX CLOVER THON PALEEN MORCEAUX BRUS SARD SPRING WALER EAU DE SOURC SARDINES CARDINES BR NICK BARE NES NICK SARDINES SPRING WA EAU DE SO SPRING WATER EAU DE SOURCE SPRING WATER EAU DE SORCE SPRING WATE EAU DE SOup FEMALE EJACUL UNLEASH THE ULTIMATE FINE SILVER ARGENT PUR 900790168 Expandable el EMA EDERAL GAME 1294CB B SOMRAJ POKRA DR. JEFFRE TALL 036B808D-2216-4273-AF7E-B69DE37FADBC.jpg 761 KB JPG >buy decent food processor >buy vacuum sealer >buy large dehydrator >100lbs of rice >cook rice then dehydrate it >100lbs of black bean >cook beans then dehydrate >100lbs of lean ground beef >cook beef then dehydrate and grind into fine powder with food processor Vacuum seal everything separately in appropriate portion sizes for you and make sure to use oxygen absorbers. You have just created 230 days of survival food for one person that only requires water to rehydrate and eat. Season as you see fit. You're welcome.

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Imagine actually watching Bleach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The school parts of Bleach are(...) 33 KB JPG 04/02/22(Sat)20:28:53 No.236144851 >watch Bleach >skip past all of the action / story stuff >exclusively watch the slice-of-life school parts with Ichigo and his friends >don't bother with any of the supernatural ghost hunting business

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A 4chinner's pipe dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/24(Mon)05:10:06 No.691106620 >play romance game 1728263026609854.jpg 221 KB JPG >realized you will never experience that because you don't even like people enough to form meaningful relationships Why does it only makes me emptier?

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Anon buys a brand new TV and faces the consequences of living in the United States | /r/Greentext

Dode :Rest at bonfire Flask >just get a tv bro 1729090426677034.jpg 87 KB JPG Anonymous BATTING IN 26 HOURS SHOHEI OHTANI 10/16/24(Wed)19:53:21 No.102846945 >>102846929 (OP) # uh why is there a baseball player in the corner? >>102846953 # >>102852969 # >>102853515 # >>102855119 # Anonymous10/16/24(Wed)19:54:10 No.102846953 >>102846945 # New Dark Souls boss. 02846949

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Anon goes for judo lessons | /r/Greentext

File: Nagatoroo.png (261 KB, 379x544) ☐ Judo Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat) 15:51:00 No.79175000 >>79175019 >be me at 15 years old >i've just started practicing judo, obviously i'm a white belt >i can't train properly so my sensei calls a girl and tells me to train with her because she's more experienced >anon, now we are going to train ne waza so follow me", that's what she said >ne waza are judo techniques performed on the ground >my mind is racing, I've never trained and touched a girl so close, especially one a bit older than me. >have no idea what ne waza was at that time, so I can't fight properly >there comes a moment when we're fighting and she's underneath me >I try to grab her collar but accidentally end up groping her boobs... >it was the first time I'd ever touched a girl's breasts >I was paralyzed and stayed in the same position for a while... >she got angry and turned me around and started to do an arm lock (the name of the technique was juji gatami if I'm not mistaken) on me >she said "if you have time to do what you did that's what you'll get" i never touched a girl's boobs ever again, i was traumatized but it feels good, do all women do that when you accidentally touch their breasts?

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Anon works out without his glasses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/13(Tue)11:08:42 UTC-4 No.19056535 Replies: >>19056641 >>19057097 >>19057488 >>19057762 >>19058744 File: 1365520122067.gif-(900 KB, 160x160, B1Svg.gif) >don't wear glasses while working out so they don't fall off/break/whatever >doing a heavy set of squatz >last 2 reps saying some "come on ahhh f------ get it" s--- >bald black dude sitting over in the other comer >"Oh hey sorry man I hope I wasn't too loud or anything" >walk closer >black guy was actually a pile of free weights

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes paratroopers | /r/Greentext

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File: N-008.png (283 KB, 523x567) HAN RED WHITE &BIL PARACH Anonymous 03/24/17(Fri)11:29:31 No.726714895 [Reply] > be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached ~5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive >mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related

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