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anon enjoys the heat of a dryer | /r/Greentext

can someone explain Mark 10/20/23(Fri)21:06:30 No.908012044 >take boxers right out the dryer >take off pants and put them on while theyre still warm >best feeling ever, d--- and balls at a perfect temperature >look up >everyone else is staring in disbelief do people not expect me to wear the clothes I bring to the laundromat? f------ weirdos
can someone explain Mark 10/20/23(Fri)21:06:30 No.908012044 >take boxers right out the dryer >take off pants and put them on while theyre still warm >best feeling ever, d--- and balls at a perfect temperature >look up >everyone else is staring in disbelief do people not expect me to wear the clothes I bring to the laundromat? f------ weirdos

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/18 (Wed)08:31:55 No.45088935 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg 74 KB JPG >go on date to mcdonalds >order my usual large big mac meal and chicken nuggets >only given 5 chicken nuggets >get into argument with worker who claims i just ate one >date leaves while i'm going at it with the manager >i don't get the 6th chicken nugget which I paid for some of you are ok, stay away from any mcdonalds in newcastle
: Anonymous 05/02/18 (Wed)08:31:55 No.45088935 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg 74 KB JPG >go on date to mcdonalds >order my usual large big mac meal and chicken nuggets >only given 5 chicken nuggets >get into argument with worker who claims i just ate one >date leaves while i'm going at it with the manager >i don't get the 6th chicken nugget which I paid for some of you are ok, stay away from any mcdonalds in newcastle

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Anon doesn't like air pods | /r/Greentext

e: 2023-10-21-18-35-14-864.jpg (268 KB, 1251x1327) Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat) 18:44:51 No.908060520 >be air pods >don't fit snugly in ear and easily fall out >have zero noise cancellation >have almost no bass >everybody within 50 ft can hear the s--- you're listening to >cost 10X what they're worth >have stupid necks that dangle down 2 inches below your ear so everybody knows you're the kind of a------ retard who buys apple headphones
e: 2023-10-21-18-35-14-864.jpg (268 KB, 1251x1327) Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat) 18:44:51 No.908060520 >be air pods >don't fit snugly in ear and easily fall out >have zero noise cancellation >have almost no bass >everybody within 50 ft can hear the s--- you're listening to >cost 10X what they're worth >have stupid necks that dangle down 2 inches below your ear so everybody knows you're the kind of a------ retard who buys apple headphones

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Anon goes to prom (and is fit) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous being fit isn't enough 363 KB JPG >be me >18 10/21/23(Sat)21:39:20 No.72588641 >school formal (prom) >go with a girl I've been talking to for a while >she's so confusing, can never tell how she really feels >afterwards everyone goes to a club >we get drunk >we make out all night; against walls, in booths, on the dance floor >we're grabbing up on each other and definitely doing the most out of anyone there even the couples >furiously make out in front of mutual friends to show we're finally together like they always hoped we would >she's sitting in my lap with her head on my shoulder as the night winds down >she's feeling my arms >whole night keeps telling me I'm so hot but now she's telling me I'm so fit, so big, so strong etc >best feeling in the world >as her and her friends leave I kiss her goodbye >I say kiss but it's really more of a makeout before she tells me she really has to go >next day >hardly hear anything from her except to exchange photos from the previous night >be up front and tell her I like her and I wanna see her again >tells me she doesn't know how she feels >she's been like this for ages >tell her I'm not gonna wait around any longer and that I genuinely can't take it >she tells me she just thinks we should stay friends Seriously w-- bros. What am I missing? She's clearly attracted to me. She clearly likes my personality. W-- is wrong? I don't struggle to hookup with girls but they never stay. Why aren't I enough...
Anonymous being fit isn't enough 363 KB JPG >be me >18 10/21/23(Sat)21:39:20 No.72588641 >school formal (prom) >go with a girl I've been talking to for a while >she's so confusing, can never tell how she really feels >afterwards everyone goes to a club >we get drunk >we make out all night; against walls, in booths, on the dance floor >we're grabbing up on each other and definitely doing the most out of anyone there even the couples >furiously make out in front of mutual friends to show we're finally together like they always hoped we would >she's sitting in my lap with her head on my shoulder as the night winds down >she's feeling my arms >whole night keeps telling me I'm so hot but now she's telling me I'm so fit, so big, so strong etc >best feeling in the world >as her and her friends leave I kiss her goodbye >I say kiss but it's really more of a makeout before she tells me she really has to go >next day >hardly hear anything from her except to exchange photos from the previous night >be up front and tell her I like her and I wanna see her again >tells me she doesn't know how she feels >she's been like this for ages >tell her I'm not gonna wait around any longer and that I genuinely can't take it >she tells me she just thinks we should stay friends Seriously w-- bros. What am I missing? She's clearly attracted to me. She clearly likes my personality. W-- is wrong? I don't struggle to hookup with girls but they never stay. Why aren't I enough...

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Anon has a type | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous IMG_1036.png 13 KB PNG 10/21/23(Sat) 15:12:39 No.22627107 >be me >22yo female >writing major >every guy I date likes books like Fight Club, Manic Pixie Egirl, Infinite Jest, etc. >finally date a guy who isn't into douche lit >things are going great >we really hit it off >think he's the one >find a copy of The 48 Laws of Power under his bed >ghost him immediately what is wrong with me?
: Anonymous IMG_1036.png 13 KB PNG 10/21/23(Sat) 15:12:39 No.22627107 >be me >22yo female >writing major >every guy I date likes books like Fight Club, Manic Pixie Egirl, Infinite Jest, etc. >finally date a guy who isn't into douche lit >things are going great >we really hit it off >think he's the one >find a copy of The 48 Laws of Power under his bed >ghost him immediately what is wrong with me?

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Anon saves Trump with his 50 bucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 174 KB PNG 10/21/23(Sat)23:21:20 No.908054260 >mom bitching at me for donating to trump again instead of paying rent When trump's elected ill f--- her daily View Thread
: Anonymous 174 KB PNG 10/21/23(Sat)23:21:20 No.908054260 >mom bitching at me for donating to trump again instead of paying rent When trump's elected ill f--- her daily View Thread

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

O Mommy body Anonymous (ID: aeCqERII) 09/06/22(Tue)18:29:14 No.16083051 >>16083060 >>16083063 Anonymous (ID: OUGmhxm >>16083051 (OP) # post t--- or GTFO >>16083070 >be me >femanon Anonymous (ID: UWVkrKOC >>16083051 (OP) # t-- pics or didnt happen >really f------ tall >6'5" >look like pic related >order pizza >pizza guy is 5'9" >looks up at me like he's seen the face of god >f--- yeah >skinny as all hell >I look like I could hide behind a lamppost >decide to get fit cus no guy would ever stick his d--- in a piece of paper like me >get buff as f--- over the course of the next two years >take my pizza and wink at him as I close the door >have one of those little peepholes on my door, look through it to see him just standing there in disbelief before slowly walking away while looking at my door. >feels great being a goddess 09/06/22 (Tue)18:31:42 No.16083060 109/06/22(Tue)18:32:38 No. 16083063 Anonymous (ID: Qfze+10x) 09/06/22 (Tue)18:33:14 No. 16083066 t--- now or I'll call the police Anonymous (ID: AQOEYIQY)+09/06/22(Tue)18:33:44 No.16083070 >>16083051 (OP) # Post pizza (if you didn't already eat it)
O Mommy body Anonymous (ID: aeCqERII) 09/06/22(Tue)18:29:14 No.16083051 >>16083060 >>16083063 Anonymous (ID: OUGmhxm >>16083051 (OP) # post t--- or GTFO >>16083070 >be me >femanon Anonymous (ID: UWVkrKOC >>16083051 (OP) # t-- pics or didnt happen >really f------ tall >6'5" >look like pic related >order pizza >pizza guy is 5'9" >looks up at me like he's seen the face of god >f--- yeah >skinny as all hell >I look like I could hide behind a lamppost >decide to get fit cus no guy would ever stick his d--- in a piece of paper like me >get buff as f--- over the course of the next two years >take my pizza and wink at him as I close the door >have one of those little peepholes on my door, look through it to see him just standing there in disbelief before slowly walking away while looking at my door. >feels great being a goddess 09/06/22 (Tue)18:31:42 No.16083060 109/06/22(Tue)18:32:38 No. 16083063 Anonymous (ID: Qfze+10x) 09/06/22 (Tue)18:33:14 No. 16083066 t--- now or I'll call the police Anonymous (ID: AQOEYIQY)+09/06/22(Tue)18:33:44 No.16083070 >>16083051 (OP) # Post pizza (if you didn't already eat it)

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Anon likes underwear | /r/Greentext

>be masturbating >got not internets >using my mind for adventure >think about how I would f--- my step mom 40 KB PNG >I find her used underwear >mfw >put it in my mouth >start sucking on it and biting it >c-- >get cleaned >look at underwear >it was my dads
>be masturbating >got not internets >using my mind for adventure >think about how I would f--- my step mom 40 KB PNG >I find her used underwear >mfw >put it in my mouth >start sucking on it and biting it >c-- >get cleaned >look at underwear >it was my dads

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Anon goes on a date. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 157 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)16:44:40 No.75142647 >Be me 23 years old >Finally convince crush to go on a date >Spend all my savings on a fancy restaurant, new clothes, and cologne >Feel like a baller >Date night arrives >Pick her up >Dinner is going well, we're laughing, getting along >Time for the bill >My wallet is crying >Pay for the dinner, trying to act cool >She says, "Thanks, this was fun. I'll text you later." >Days pass, no text >Week later, still nothing Why did I do this.
Anonymous 157 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)16:44:40 No.75142647 >Be me 23 years old >Finally convince crush to go on a date >Spend all my savings on a fancy restaurant, new clothes, and cologne >Feel like a baller >Date night arrives >Pick her up >Dinner is going well, we're laughing, getting along >Time for the bill >My wallet is crying >Pay for the dinner, trying to act cool >She says, "Thanks, this was fun. I'll text you later." >Days pass, no text >Week later, still nothing Why did I do this.

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Anon doesn't think too highly of India | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sars 1177 10/21/23(Sat)19:07:57 No.188941146 64 KB JPG >1.5 billion n----- >Known for smelling like s--- >Known for s------- openly in public >Some of them unironically believe that cow dung has magic powers >Known for having a s--- ton of scammers >Dark as f--- but racist against blacks >Oh right, the caste system You definitely suffer in India
: Anonymous Sars 1177 10/21/23(Sat)19:07:57 No.188941146 64 KB JPG >1.5 billion n----- >Known for smelling like s--- >Known for s------- openly in public >Some of them unironically believe that cow dung has magic powers >Known for having a s--- ton of scammers >Dark as f--- but racist against blacks >Oh right, the caste system You definitely suffer in India

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"Anon" makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

10:32 : Anonymous What's the most embarrassing t(...) Vo)) LTE1 67% 58 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)09:07:41 No.75134908 >be me >year is 2018 >make post on /v/ about God of War 1&2 and ask if they are worth playing in 2018 >didn't bother to download a pic of the game cover to use as the attached file >decide to random choose a reaction image from a cartoon instead >except I instead selected the wrong file which was a actual photo I took of my drivers license which was saved on my computer >press post >new page shows up with me asking if GoW 1&2 are worth playing with a pic of my PhotoID as the attached file. >OH F--- OH F--- OH F--- >try over and over to delete thread but it won't work >panic.exe >random anons start asking who's photo, address, heigh is that on the card >reveal that it's me >"f--- now all of 4chan knows where I live and all of my personal info, what do I do about this" >anons start making fun of my looks >anons start calling me an absolute retard >anons warning me that something bad will happen > random anon in the replies says that he knows who I am and he has seen me before >20 replies in and anons are laughing uncontrollably at what I've done. >post finally gets taken down at around 130 replies. Fortunately nothing happened to me but after that I had to quit 4chan cold turkey for 2 or 3 months.
10:32 : Anonymous What's the most embarrassing t(...) Vo)) LTE1 67% 58 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)09:07:41 No.75134908 >be me >year is 2018 >make post on /v/ about God of War 1&2 and ask if they are worth playing in 2018 >didn't bother to download a pic of the game cover to use as the attached file >decide to random choose a reaction image from a cartoon instead >except I instead selected the wrong file which was a actual photo I took of my drivers license which was saved on my computer >press post >new page shows up with me asking if GoW 1&2 are worth playing with a pic of my PhotoID as the attached file. >OH F--- OH F--- OH F--- >try over and over to delete thread but it won't work >panic.exe >random anons start asking who's photo, address, heigh is that on the card >reveal that it's me >"f--- now all of 4chan knows where I live and all of my personal info, what do I do about this" >anons start making fun of my looks >anons start calling me an absolute retard >anons warning me that something bad will happen > random anon in the replies says that he knows who I am and he has seen me before >20 replies in and anons are laughing uncontrollably at what I've done. >post finally gets taken down at around 130 replies. Fortunately nothing happened to me but after that I had to quit 4chan cold turkey for 2 or 3 months.

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Cant lift these feels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 0 0 no gf 46 KB JPG 10/19/23(Thu)00:46:14 No.29985514 >tfw tfwnogf is literally my only problem and its driving me insane S--- sucks. >29M >own my own (fairly nice apartment) and drive a pretty decent car >no debt, while not any kind of 'rich', I don't worry about money >got the dream job, fireman in the last year, its an asskicking as a new guy, but it only gets better >loving family and have a small group of close friends >in-shape, no bodily ailments and not officially diagnosed with anything mental (though I unbiasedly suspect some amount of autism and OCD) >tfwnogf my whole life, and frankly, it ultimately stemmed from never actually giving it a proper 'try', as well as really never interacting with girls as a child so I always had/have the autistic struggle of communicating with women >actually got my first actual gf over the summer though some mutuals, and she was pretty much exactly the ideal never-ever kinda girl I thought I would never meet, let alone date >felt fully content with life for those few months and thought I officially made it >she dumped me a month ago (almost to the day) on what could only be described as a whim >everything feels awful since and all my efforts thus far have been worthless >downloaded the dating apps again, set up accounts and have been swiping, but haven't started chatting anyone up yet >it feels pointless and like a waste because I actually had exactly what I wanted it and slipped away from me, and now I think I'm psyching myself out of anyone else by clinging on too much to what was How do I get over this?
: Anonymous 0 0 no gf 46 KB JPG 10/19/23(Thu)00:46:14 No.29985514 >tfw tfwnogf is literally my only problem and its driving me insane S--- sucks. >29M >own my own (fairly nice apartment) and drive a pretty decent car >no debt, while not any kind of 'rich', I don't worry about money >got the dream job, fireman in the last year, its an asskicking as a new guy, but it only gets better >loving family and have a small group of close friends >in-shape, no bodily ailments and not officially diagnosed with anything mental (though I unbiasedly suspect some amount of autism and OCD) >tfwnogf my whole life, and frankly, it ultimately stemmed from never actually giving it a proper 'try', as well as really never interacting with girls as a child so I always had/have the autistic struggle of communicating with women >actually got my first actual gf over the summer though some mutuals, and she was pretty much exactly the ideal never-ever kinda girl I thought I would never meet, let alone date >felt fully content with life for those few months and thought I officially made it >she dumped me a month ago (almost to the day) on what could only be described as a whim >everything feels awful since and all my efforts thus far have been worthless >downloaded the dating apps again, set up accounts and have been swiping, but haven't started chatting anyone up yet >it feels pointless and like a waste because I actually had exactly what I wanted it and slipped away from me, and now I think I'm psyching myself out of anyone else by clinging on too much to what was How do I get over this?

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Anon is afraid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/04/23(Wed)17:09:45 No.6530 VALVE 1.3 MB PNG >Microsoft came crawling back >EA came crawling back >Ubisoft came crawling back >Square Enix came crawling back >Activision came crawling back >Blizzard came crawling back >convinced Sony to put their games on PC >now direct competitor is hit with layoffs Is he becoming too powerful?
Anonymous 10/04/23(Wed)17:09:45 No.6530 VALVE 1.3 MB PNG >Microsoft came crawling back >EA came crawling back >Ubisoft came crawling back >Square Enix came crawling back >Activision came crawling back >Blizzard came crawling back >convinced Sony to put their games on PC >now direct competitor is hit with layoffs Is he becoming too powerful?

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anon talks about beavers | /r/Greentext

The cult of the beaver Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)20:45:18 No.2 How many people do you think would die for this beaver? Anonymous 10/19/23 (Thu)20:47:03 No.27115764 ► >>271157 >>27115759 (OP) Must be a flyover thing. Is it supposed to look so retarded?
The cult of the beaver Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)20:45:18 No.2 How many people do you think would die for this beaver? Anonymous 10/19/23 (Thu)20:47:03 No.27115764 ► >>271157 >>27115759 (OP) Must be a flyover thing. Is it supposed to look so retarded?

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Anon accidentally doxxes himself | /r/Greentext

What's the most embarrassing thing you've done on the chan What's the most embarrassing t(...) 10/21/23(Sat)09:07:41 No.75134908 >be me >year is 2018 >make post on /v/ about God of War 1&2 and ask if they are worth playing in 2018 >didn't bother to download a pic of the game cover to use as the attached file >decide to random choose a reaction image from a cartoon instead >except I instead selected the wrong file which was a actual photo I took of my drivers license which was saved on my computer 58 KB JPG >press post >new page shows up with me asking if GoW 1&2 are worth playing with a pic of my PhotoID as the attached file. >OH F--- OH F--- OH F--- >try over and over to delete thread but it won't work >panic.exe >random anons start asking who's photo, address, heigh is that on the card >reveal that it's me >"f--- now all of 4chan knows where I live and all of my personal info, what do I do about this" >anons start making fun of my looks >anons start calling me an absolute retard >anons warning me that something bad will happen > random anon in the replies says that he knows who I am and he has seen me before >20 replies in and anons are laughing uncontrollably at what I've done. >post finally gets taken down at around 130 replies. Fortunately nothing happened to me but after that I had to quit 4chan cold turkey for 2 or 3 months.
What's the most embarrassing thing you've done on the chan What's the most embarrassing t(...) 10/21/23(Sat)09:07:41 No.75134908 >be me >year is 2018 >make post on /v/ about God of War 1&2 and ask if they are worth playing in 2018 >didn't bother to download a pic of the game cover to use as the attached file >decide to random choose a reaction image from a cartoon instead >except I instead selected the wrong file which was a actual photo I took of my drivers license which was saved on my computer 58 KB JPG >press post >new page shows up with me asking if GoW 1&2 are worth playing with a pic of my PhotoID as the attached file. >OH F--- OH F--- OH F--- >try over and over to delete thread but it won't work >panic.exe >random anons start asking who's photo, address, heigh is that on the card >reveal that it's me >"f--- now all of 4chan knows where I live and all of my personal info, what do I do about this" >anons start making fun of my looks >anons start calling me an absolute retard >anons warning me that something bad will happen > random anon in the replies says that he knows who I am and he has seen me before >20 replies in and anons are laughing uncontrollably at what I've done. >post finally gets taken down at around 130 replies. Fortunately nothing happened to me but after that I had to quit 4chan cold turkey for 2 or 3 months.

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Anon looks in the bath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 363 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)11:09:06 No.908031869 >Go to clean the bathroom >See a huge bug in the bath >Really hate the f------, nearly s--- myself >Look closer, realize it's just a twig or some s---, that looks like a bug >Relief >Go to pick it up to throw it out >Grab it >Actually is a huge bug ffs
: Anonymous 363 KB JPG 10/21/23(Sat)11:09:06 No.908031869 >Go to clean the bathroom >See a huge bug in the bath >Really hate the f------, nearly s--- myself >Look closer, realize it's just a twig or some s---, that looks like a bug >Relief >Go to pick it up to throw it out >Grab it >Actually is a huge bug ffs

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