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Anon Makes a Painful discovery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 KB JPG 11/10/21 (Wed)19:40:22 No.866494139 >be me >22 year old virgin, never hugged anyone other than my mommy >good at making crafts >meet a qt >sweet, similar interests, naturally beautiful and never once seen her in make up >expresses genuine interest in me, mentions she likes snow globes >spend a night looking up how to make snow globe. do it for over a week. it doesn't look like s--- and it has an elephant in it because it's her favorite animal. >still talk to her every day. this is the nicest a girl has ever been to me. >fantasize about her smile upon receiving it, and our life together afterwards >stumble upon her of tonight, sub, and see her getting f----- by a monster d--- while she moans like a w---- >cry, break snow globe, slip and hit my head. I. Want. To.Die. I want to die. I. Want to die. I want to die. I hate all women. If you are a woman and reading this, I hate you.
Anonymous 24 KB JPG 11/10/21 (Wed)19:40:22 No.866494139 >be me >22 year old virgin, never hugged anyone other than my mommy >good at making crafts >meet a qt >sweet, similar interests, naturally beautiful and never once seen her in make up >expresses genuine interest in me, mentions she likes snow globes >spend a night looking up how to make snow globe. do it for over a week. it doesn't look like s--- and it has an elephant in it because it's her favorite animal. >still talk to her every day. this is the nicest a girl has ever been to me. >fantasize about her smile upon receiving it, and our life together afterwards >stumble upon her of tonight, sub, and see her getting f----- by a monster d--- while she moans like a w---- >cry, break snow globe, slip and hit my head. I. Want. To.Die. I want to die. I. Want to die. I want to die. I hate all women. If you are a woman and reading this, I hate you.

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"straight" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)16:58:00 No.891911149 >>891911230 >>891911372 >>891912381 Any other straight guys have a suck buddy? I'm straight, but single. But met another single straight guy on an adult Reddit sub for my area, and we give each other b------- weekly. Obviously I'd prefer a girl for casual action, but that's not possible currently. Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)16:59:39 No.891911230 ► >>891911678 >>891911149 (OP) # >I'm straight >I suck d--- pick one
Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)16:58:00 No.891911149 >>891911230 >>891911372 >>891912381 Any other straight guys have a suck buddy? I'm straight, but single. But met another single straight guy on an adult Reddit sub for my area, and we give each other b------- weekly. Obviously I'd prefer a girl for casual action, but that's not possible currently. Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)16:59:39 No.891911230 ► >>891911678 >>891911149 (OP) # >I'm straight >I suck d--- pick one

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Anon browses r9k | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 162 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)23:56:53 No.71669920 >browse r9k every once in a while >can physically feel the suicidal thoughts I haven't felt in months come back Genuinely impressive how bad this place is for your brain
Anonymous 162 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)23:56:53 No.71669920 >browse r9k every once in a while >can physically feel the suicidal thoughts I haven't felt in months come back Genuinely impressive how bad this place is for your brain

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Anon discovers spring theory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Spring universe is a terrifyin(...) 36 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)08:26:18 No.891880054 >be me >human >makes a gigantic f----- >doomed to repeat this exact same f----- for all eternity >mfw there's nothing I can do about it
: Anonymous Spring universe is a terrifyin(...) 36 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)08:26:18 No.891880054 >be me >human >makes a gigantic f----- >doomed to repeat this exact same f----- for all eternity >mfw there's nothing I can do about it

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Schizo anon foretells the next few days | /r/Greentext

: The weather has cooled (ID: a0cDyNbe A warning 01/02/23(Mon)23:40:42 No.410676212 Timeline of the next few days: >January 3-7: Ukraine war escalates at an unprecedented rate >January 8: Russia drops nuke in uninhabited area as a show of power and threatens to nuke NATO if they don't withdraw from the Ukraine 78 KB JPG >January 9-10: Futile attempts at negotiation >January 11-13: Full nuclear exchange between NATO and Russia. China may join as well. This will be your only warning. If you survive, carry a 4 of clubs so we know who to trust. Memorize the following phrase and say it to fellow survivors so we can identify each other: >The bear has left its cave and now the rod and ring await This will be your only warning.
: The weather has cooled (ID: a0cDyNbe A warning 01/02/23(Mon)23:40:42 No.410676212 Timeline of the next few days: >January 3-7: Ukraine war escalates at an unprecedented rate >January 8: Russia drops nuke in uninhabited area as a show of power and threatens to nuke NATO if they don't withdraw from the Ukraine 78 KB JPG >January 9-10: Futile attempts at negotiation >January 11-13: Full nuclear exchange between NATO and Russia. China may join as well. This will be your only warning. If you survive, carry a 4 of clubs so we know who to trust. Memorize the following phrase and say it to fellow survivors so we can identify each other: >The bear has left its cave and now the rod and ring await This will be your only warning.

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Anon is being emotionally manipulated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 99 KB JPG 12/28/17(Thu)22:35:13 No.42102948 >tell my mom my new year's resolution is to lose weight and eat healthy and exercise >she thinks I'm doing "to make her look bad" >try to tell he that's not true >she thinks my dad is making me do it >try to tell her I haven't spoken to him in years >try to tell her I just want to feel better and look better >she starts crying and saying I'm fine just the way I am >she starts hugging me and won't let me go unless I promise not to be a "health freak" >tfw had to promise not to be a health freak >tfw she ordered an XL pizza for dinner and made me eat it all 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
Anonymous 99 KB JPG 12/28/17(Thu)22:35:13 No.42102948 >tell my mom my new year's resolution is to lose weight and eat healthy and exercise >she thinks I'm doing "to make her look bad" >try to tell he that's not true >she thinks my dad is making me do it >try to tell her I haven't spoken to him in years >try to tell her I just want to feel better and look better >she starts crying and saying I'm fine just the way I am >she starts hugging me and won't let me go unless I promise not to be a "health freak" >tfw had to promise not to be a health freak >tfw she ordered an XL pizza for dinner and made me eat it all 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon on the trinity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue) 12:38:51 No.71669759 untitled_design_35_edit_178922765038620.png 346 KB PNG >The holy trinity of virginity
: Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue) 12:38:51 No.71669759 untitled_design_35_edit_178922765038620.png 346 KB PNG >The holy trinity of virginity

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anon discusses narrative arcs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 10/18/18(Thu)13:08:20 No.17952955 >mc impregnates his love interest Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)13:10:31 No.179529627 43 KB JPG >mc impregnates the antagonist >>179529719 # >>179529742 # >>179531528 # >>179533579 # >>179533857 # >>179535150 # >>179535343 # >>179535777 # >>179535834 # >>179538528 # >>179539537 # >>179540069 # >>179541156 # >>179544124 #
Anonymous 39 KB JPG 10/18/18(Thu)13:08:20 No.17952955 >mc impregnates his love interest Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)13:10:31 No.179529627 43 KB JPG >mc impregnates the antagonist >>179529719 # >>179529742 # >>179531528 # >>179533579 # >>179533857 # >>179535150 # >>179535343 # >>179535777 # >>179535834 # >>179538528 # >>179539537 # >>179540069 # >>179541156 # >>179544124 #

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Anon's dad is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)02:06:03 No.71667589 1664459191880150.png 777 KB PNG >New Year's Eve >Hug my dog because it's fluffy and cute >Dad: Are you hugging the dog? >Me: Yes >Dad: How about you find a girlfriend and hug her? How about that? Every single time...
: Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)02:06:03 No.71667589 1664459191880150.png 777 KB PNG >New Year's Eve >Hug my dog because it's fluffy and cute >Dad: Are you hugging the dog? >Me: Yes >Dad: How about you find a girlfriend and hug her? How about that? Every single time...

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Anon owns a big truck | /r/Greentext

Lori+Ovanessian-2823.jpg 133 KB JPG I r--- teslas on the highway by merging directly into them, and watching their helpless drivers as the tesla's machine instincts take control and jolt it out of my way. I do not ask for it's consent. These cars desire to show off their automated cat-like reflexes, the sleek aerodynamics in their curves, and the comfort their boring owners have nestled sleepily inside the tesla's inviting womb. I accelerate my steely F350 fast and hard directly at the tesla and the machine takes control, battery energy pulsing through its quivering engine as it speeds out of way, while its boomer white male's face goes pale and his wife is panting hard, lost somewhere between sudden fear and complete thrill of being dominated. Teslas and their owners on the road secretly ask for this and at night they can only confess to themselves in bed how hard their tiny d---- become, and how their suburban t-- cow wives have to wash their sopping wet target bought panties from my sudden and unprovoked onslaught on their otherwise secure lives. I am a male and I am voting for Ye.
Lori+Ovanessian-2823.jpg 133 KB JPG I r--- teslas on the highway by merging directly into them, and watching their helpless drivers as the tesla's machine instincts take control and jolt it out of my way. I do not ask for it's consent. These cars desire to show off their automated cat-like reflexes, the sleek aerodynamics in their curves, and the comfort their boring owners have nestled sleepily inside the tesla's inviting womb. I accelerate my steely F350 fast and hard directly at the tesla and the machine takes control, battery energy pulsing through its quivering engine as it speeds out of way, while its boomer white male's face goes pale and his wife is panting hard, lost somewhere between sudden fear and complete thrill of being dominated. Teslas and their owners on the road secretly ask for this and at night they can only confess to themselves in bed how hard their tiny d---- become, and how their suburban t-- cow wives have to wash their sopping wet target bought panties from my sudden and unprovoked onslaught on their otherwise secure lives. I am a male and I am voting for Ye.

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Anon receives affection | /r/Greentext

01/02/23 (Mon)14:36:43 No.71665918 >leave my soul-sucking room and make my way into the kitchen >grandma surprise attacks me and starts to gut punch me lightly as a joke >think its really cute given that Im twice her size and I could probably beat and r--- her to death >she ends with giving me a hug and asks me what I want to eat Anonymous M 308 KB JPG >go the rest of the day with a slight smile on my face its the little things that matter bros
01/02/23 (Mon)14:36:43 No.71665918 >leave my soul-sucking room and make my way into the kitchen >grandma surprise attacks me and starts to gut punch me lightly as a joke >think its really cute given that Im twice her size and I could probably beat and r--- her to death >she ends with giving me a hug and asks me what I want to eat Anonymous M 308 KB JPG >go the rest of the day with a slight smile on my face its the little things that matter bros

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Anon makes a cultural oopsie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Did i offend my bf? 365 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)16:17:31 No.28032566 >Be me, F19 in college >texting BF (18) about vacation plans, he's arab/jordanian and I'm 2% milk levels of white >ask where he's going and what he's doing >"you're with your grandparents right?" > "Yep, I'm with my grandpa. We're going to go to Jerusalem to reconnect with his childhood home. He was forcibly displaced at the age of 7, as were the rest of my family. We're going back there. It's where my roots lie and where they always will. I'm very passionate about it." >tism activate >"That's great, you and your grandfather can share the respect and passion of your history/heritage'!" > "...it's not history anon, it's the theft of our culture." >ah beans i messed up "Israel killed and stole with impunity of the last 17 years, 2022 was the bloodiest year for Palestinians at the hands of israel's occupation, and for what? blood and lives gone to waste children shot dead for no reason," >continues on > F--- f--- what do I do what do I say, is offering condolences offensive?
Anonymous Did i offend my bf? 365 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)16:17:31 No.28032566 >Be me, F19 in college >texting BF (18) about vacation plans, he's arab/jordanian and I'm 2% milk levels of white >ask where he's going and what he's doing >"you're with your grandparents right?" > "Yep, I'm with my grandpa. We're going to go to Jerusalem to reconnect with his childhood home. He was forcibly displaced at the age of 7, as were the rest of my family. We're going back there. It's where my roots lie and where they always will. I'm very passionate about it." >tism activate >"That's great, you and your grandfather can share the respect and passion of your history/heritage'!" > "...it's not history anon, it's the theft of our culture." >ah beans i messed up "Israel killed and stole with impunity of the last 17 years, 2022 was the bloodiest year for Palestinians at the hands of israel's occupation, and for what? blood and lives gone to waste children shot dead for no reason," >continues on > F--- f--- what do I do what do I say, is offering condolences offensive?

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Anon walks dogs and has zero chill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dog friends 51 KB PNG >mostly young but big dogs with no social skills >every day is new adventure for dogs and bit of exercise for me since i dont like walking alone 01/01/23(Sun)21:22:33 No.71649565 >be me >currently NEET but not broke >nothing to do all day >decide to walk dogs that dont belong to me for fun >we walk around every day for minimum of 1 hour sometimes even 2 hours >made some great pics of dogs >neighbors are always thankful that i walk thier dogs and ask for nothing in return >>71649875 # : Anonymous That is very wholesome anon. original post 01/01/23(Sun)21:28:01 No.71649614 : Anonymous >>71649565 (OP) # i hope all dogfags die 01/01/23(Sun)21:32:21 No.71649664 01/01/23(Sun)21:46:15 No.71649875 : Anonymous >>71649664 # I am sure they will but then again each of their lives will be infinitely more happy and fulfilling then yours will ever be
: Anonymous Dog friends 51 KB PNG >mostly young but big dogs with no social skills >every day is new adventure for dogs and bit of exercise for me since i dont like walking alone 01/01/23(Sun)21:22:33 No.71649565 >be me >currently NEET but not broke >nothing to do all day >decide to walk dogs that dont belong to me for fun >we walk around every day for minimum of 1 hour sometimes even 2 hours >made some great pics of dogs >neighbors are always thankful that i walk thier dogs and ask for nothing in return >>71649875 # : Anonymous That is very wholesome anon. original post 01/01/23(Sun)21:28:01 No.71649614 : Anonymous >>71649565 (OP) # i hope all dogfags die 01/01/23(Sun)21:32:21 No.71649664 01/01/23(Sun)21:46:15 No.71649875 : Anonymous >>71649664 # I am sure they will but then again each of their lives will be infinitely more happy and fulfilling then yours will ever be

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Anon discovers shocking truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sins of the Past 71 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)14:09:42 No.891894976 >be me >be 6 years old >first time going to disney world >i was so happy >one day my family spots a worker dressed up as Pocahontas >they wanted to take a picture with her >i refused >they keep trying to get me in the picture until i started crying >they asked why >lie and say its because she is a girl >truth is her skin was red and it scared me Flash forward years later >look my family ancestry >f------ native American royalty on both sides of my family >memories of pocahontas rush back >nooooo >its not true >that's impossible >mfw Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)14:32:29 No.891896312 so rather than them thinking you're racist, they just think you're so gay you've got an irrational fear of women
: Anonymous Sins of the Past 71 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)14:09:42 No.891894976 >be me >be 6 years old >first time going to disney world >i was so happy >one day my family spots a worker dressed up as Pocahontas >they wanted to take a picture with her >i refused >they keep trying to get me in the picture until i started crying >they asked why >lie and say its because she is a girl >truth is her skin was red and it scared me Flash forward years later >look my family ancestry >f------ native American royalty on both sides of my family >memories of pocahontas rush back >nooooo >its not true >that's impossible >mfw Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)14:32:29 No.891896312 so rather than them thinking you're racist, they just think you're so gay you've got an irrational fear of women

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Anon busted a nut | /r/Greentext

File: E2FbNCiVUAMROZq.jpg (239 KB, 1578x1800) Well happy f------ new year I lost one of my tesicles Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)02:42:44 No.891867569 >>891867695 >>891867702 >>891868558 >>891868675 >Been having massive occasional stomach aches for the last 1,5 months or so. >Only really feel it if i do cardio >Took 1 week sick leave before the holidays >Thought i might have a stomach virus >Got really concerned when my wife asked me if I had been masturbating (I don't because i find it immoral and it's against my religion) because when she goes to push out the leftover c-- after sex she says there's barely anything. >Just a few drops. >Fear the worst >Go to the doctor the next day (22. December) >Says they can't help me but gave me the number to a Urologist. >Make an appointment for the 29th >Go there and they tell me that i got testicular torsion. >They freak out when i tell them it's been going on for over a month. >Tell me i need surgery asap >Get it scheduled for 1. january. I woke up 3 hours ago, apparantly my testicle had died and they removed it right before i got gangrene, they said that i should avoid e---------- for at least a couple months. I'm not 100% sterile and I'll still be able to have kids it just might be more difficult and e---------- is going to be a bit painful for a couple years, and my testosterone levels only MIGHT be affected. How was your New years eve anons?
File: E2FbNCiVUAMROZq.jpg (239 KB, 1578x1800) Well happy f------ new year I lost one of my tesicles Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)02:42:44 No.891867569 >>891867695 >>891867702 >>891868558 >>891868675 >Been having massive occasional stomach aches for the last 1,5 months or so. >Only really feel it if i do cardio >Took 1 week sick leave before the holidays >Thought i might have a stomach virus >Got really concerned when my wife asked me if I had been masturbating (I don't because i find it immoral and it's against my religion) because when she goes to push out the leftover c-- after sex she says there's barely anything. >Just a few drops. >Fear the worst >Go to the doctor the next day (22. December) >Says they can't help me but gave me the number to a Urologist. >Make an appointment for the 29th >Go there and they tell me that i got testicular torsion. >They freak out when i tell them it's been going on for over a month. >Tell me i need surgery asap >Get it scheduled for 1. january. I woke up 3 hours ago, apparantly my testicle had died and they removed it right before i got gangrene, they said that i should avoid e---------- for at least a couple months. I'm not 100% sterile and I'll still be able to have kids it just might be more difficult and e---------- is going to be a bit painful for a couple years, and my testosterone levels only MIGHT be affected. How was your New years eve anons?

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Anon is a sensible christian | /r/Greentext

HOLY BIBLE Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:08:18 No.891885391 >>891885519 >>891885678 >>891886026 > be modern day christian > healthcare is evil socialism > be jesus > be perfectly sinless > wash feet of sinful disciples > invite unanimously hated tax collector for dinner > thousands of years later... > be modern day christian >cant even have a f----- in the same building without going a------ dumb modern christians i swear, they missed the whole point Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:10:56 No.891885519 ► >>891885391 (OP) maybe they just don't want what happened to jesus to happen to them Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:14:11 No.891885678 >>891885391 (OP) > be jesus > heal the sick, no questions asked, no charge
HOLY BIBLE Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:08:18 No.891885391 >>891885519 >>891885678 >>891886026 > be modern day christian > healthcare is evil socialism > be jesus > be perfectly sinless > wash feet of sinful disciples > invite unanimously hated tax collector for dinner > thousands of years later... > be modern day christian >cant even have a f----- in the same building without going a------ dumb modern christians i swear, they missed the whole point Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:10:56 No.891885519 ► >>891885391 (OP) maybe they just don't want what happened to jesus to happen to them Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:14:11 No.891885678 >>891885391 (OP) > be jesus > heal the sick, no questions asked, no charge

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Anon tries Curling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Curlmaxxing 188 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)14:34:15 No.71663452 >watch Curling in olympics because bored, pic related >kek this is meme sport >occasionally see recommended videos of curling matches on youtube >not bad, actually requires skill >look up old matches and get a sense for how its played >pirate ebook on Curling strategy so Im less clueless >learn game styles of different players >actively follow rankings and championships >go down deep Wikipedia rabbithole on history and evolution of the sport >baffled by how niche this is >see learn to curl classes near me so I can actually play irl >pricey but fuckit >first day, youngest guy there, everyone is boomer but idgaf I jus wanna learn >boomers are very nice, value my presence >drink a couple beers with them after a few classes >classes come to an end after few months, end up buying my own equipment >sign up for a team with the regulars >actually look forward to game nights >first time having a hobby and socializing >actually enjoy time outside my room thank you meme sport
: Anonymous Curlmaxxing 188 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)14:34:15 No.71663452 >watch Curling in olympics because bored, pic related >kek this is meme sport >occasionally see recommended videos of curling matches on youtube >not bad, actually requires skill >look up old matches and get a sense for how its played >pirate ebook on Curling strategy so Im less clueless >learn game styles of different players >actively follow rankings and championships >go down deep Wikipedia rabbithole on history and evolution of the sport >baffled by how niche this is >see learn to curl classes near me so I can actually play irl >pricey but fuckit >first day, youngest guy there, everyone is boomer but idgaf I jus wanna learn >boomers are very nice, value my presence >drink a couple beers with them after a few classes >classes come to an end after few months, end up buying my own equipment >sign up for a team with the regulars >actually look forward to game nights >first time having a hobby and socializing >actually enjoy time outside my room thank you meme sport

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anon gets a birthday gift | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 156 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)14:23:16 No.891889584 >be me (20) >work in nerd store >pokemon cards, manga, gundam model kits, anime figures etc... >cute older girl (26) comes at store >she buys a couple card packs >chat with her while she pays >thanks her and watch her leave >ffw 3 weeks >turn 21 >next day I work >older girl brings me a late birthday gift >she's been coming regularly so she knows me pretty well >surprised that she remembers my birthday despite only mentionning it once >open gift >it's a gundam kit from the store that I've mentionned wanting to buy >gets a hug and thanks her >she asks if I want to build a Gundam kit with her at her house >holy f--- it's actually happening >sweat a bit >say yes >ffw 2 days later >arrive at house >as soon as she opens the door I spot 2 other guys behind her >"hey anon have you met my boyfriends Anthony?" >ffw a year >have older gf, 2 bros and massive Gundam collection
: Anonymous 156 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)14:23:16 No.891889584 >be me (20) >work in nerd store >pokemon cards, manga, gundam model kits, anime figures etc... >cute older girl (26) comes at store >she buys a couple card packs >chat with her while she pays >thanks her and watch her leave >ffw 3 weeks >turn 21 >next day I work >older girl brings me a late birthday gift >she's been coming regularly so she knows me pretty well >surprised that she remembers my birthday despite only mentionning it once >open gift >it's a gundam kit from the store that I've mentionned wanting to buy >gets a hug and thanks her >she asks if I want to build a Gundam kit with her at her house >holy f--- it's actually happening >sweat a bit >say yes >ffw 2 days later >arrive at house >as soon as she opens the door I spot 2 other guys behind her >"hey anon have you met my boyfriends Anthony?" >ffw a year >have older gf, 2 bros and massive Gundam collection

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Anon cooms again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I failed again Robots BORN TO coom 442 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)16:23:39 No.71660608 >be me >promise myself to not coom again in 2023 >fast forward >about 20 min ago **coom again** What is wrong with me anons I couldn't even last a day.
Anonymous I failed again Robots BORN TO coom 442 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)16:23:39 No.71660608 >be me >promise myself to not coom again in 2023 >fast forward >about 20 min ago **coom again** What is wrong with me anons I couldn't even last a day.

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anon is Christian Bale | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 377 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 40 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)11:39:03 No.891886972 I look like Christian Bale View Thread 01/02/23 (Mon)11:39:30 No.891887002 in his movie Vice
: Anonymous 377 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 40 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)11:39:03 No.891886972 I look like Christian Bale View Thread 01/02/23 (Mon)11:39:30 No.891887002 in his movie Vice

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