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File: E2FbNCiVUAMROZq.jpg (239 KB, 1578x1800) Well happy f------ new year I lost one of my tesicles Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)02:42:44 No.891867569 >>891867695 >>891867702 >>891868558 >>891868675 >Been having massive occasional stomach aches for the last 1,5 months or so. >Only really feel it if i do cardio >Took 1 week sick leave before the holidays >Thought i might have a stomach virus >Got really concerned when my wife asked me if I had been masturbating (I don't because i find it immoral and it's against my religion) because when she goes to push out the leftover c-- after sex she says there's barely anything. >Just a few drops. >Fear the worst >Go to the doctor the next day (22. December) >Says they can't help me but gave me the number to a Urologist. >Make an appointment for the 29th >Go there and they tell me that i got testicular torsion. >They freak out when i tell them it's been going on for over a month. >Tell me i need surgery asap >Get it scheduled for 1. january. I woke up 3 hours ago, apparantly my testicle had died and they removed it right before i got gangrene, they said that i should avoid e---------- for at least a couple months. I'm not 100% sterile and I'll still be able to have kids it just might be more difficult and e---------- is going to be a bit painful for a couple years, and my testosterone levels only MIGHT be affected. How was your New years eve anons?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is a sensible christian | /r/Greentext

HOLY BIBLE Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:08:18 No.891885391 >>891885519 >>891885678 >>891886026 > be modern day christian > healthcare is evil socialism > be jesus > be perfectly sinless > wash feet of sinful disciples > invite unanimously hated tax collector for dinner > thousands of years later... > be modern day christian >cant even have a f----- in the same building without going a------ dumb modern christians i swear, they missed the whole point Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:10:56 No.891885519 ► >>891885391 (OP) maybe they just don't want what happened to jesus to happen to them Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:14:11 No.891885678 >>891885391 (OP) > be jesus > heal the sick, no questions asked, no charge

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Anon tries Curling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Curlmaxxing 188 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)14:34:15 No.71663452 >watch Curling in olympics because bored, pic related >kek this is meme sport >occasionally see recommended videos of curling matches on youtube >not bad, actually requires skill >look up old matches and get a sense for how its played >pirate ebook on Curling strategy so Im less clueless >learn game styles of different players >actively follow rankings and championships >go down deep Wikipedia rabbithole on history and evolution of the sport >baffled by how niche this is >see learn to curl classes near me so I can actually play irl >pricey but fuckit >first day, youngest guy there, everyone is boomer but idgaf I jus wanna learn >boomers are very nice, value my presence >drink a couple beers with them after a few classes >classes come to an end after few months, end up buying my own equipment >sign up for a team with the regulars >actually look forward to game nights >first time having a hobby and socializing >actually enjoy time outside my room thank you meme sport

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anon gets a birthday gift | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 156 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)14:23:16 No.891889584 >be me (20) >work in nerd store >pokemon cards, manga, gundam model kits, anime figures etc... >cute older girl (26) comes at store >she buys a couple card packs >chat with her while she pays >thanks her and watch her leave >ffw 3 weeks >turn 21 >next day I work >older girl brings me a late birthday gift >she's been coming regularly so she knows me pretty well >surprised that she remembers my birthday despite only mentionning it once >open gift >it's a gundam kit from the store that I've mentionned wanting to buy >gets a hug and thanks her >she asks if I want to build a Gundam kit with her at her house >holy f--- it's actually happening >sweat a bit >say yes >ffw 2 days later >arrive at house >as soon as she opens the door I spot 2 other guys behind her >"hey anon have you met my boyfriends Anthony?" >ffw a year >have older gf, 2 bros and massive Gundam collection

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Anon cooms again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I failed again Robots BORN TO coom 442 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)16:23:39 No.71660608 >be me >promise myself to not coom again in 2023 >fast forward >about 20 min ago **coom again** What is wrong with me anons I couldn't even last a day.

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anon is Christian Bale | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 377 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 40 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)11:39:03 No.891886972 I look like Christian Bale View Thread 01/02/23 (Mon)11:39:30 No.891887002 in his movie Vice

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Anon has a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

>he says "that's not a girl" >I say "she's gender fluid" >get fired Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)20:57:35 No.71662237 [Reply] ► >be me >wage cuck >my boss is gay, puts up rainbow flags everywhere and invites us to seminars "against discrimination" >one day he asks me to stay late >nervously agree >realize he's trying to make a move >panic >tell him I have a girlfriend >he says "Oh, I didn't know that. Can you show me a picture?" >pull out my phone >show him a picture of me and my dog

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Anon thinks there's no sex involved because.... that's what she told him? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous No.66441000 22 KB JPG 12/05/21(Sun)16:10:26 >sister got kicked out of the house because she didn't do well in school so she slept in her car in a parking lot >that same f------ day she met a random old dude who took her in >she's been living with him rent free for the past six months now (like actually free, no sex s---) That proves it. If you're born an attractive female you physically cannot lose at life.

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Anon keeps the spark alive in his sexual life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous sex haver thread 231 KB JPG 01/02/23(Mon)14:13:42 No.71659185 how many females did you f--- in 2022? ill start >a petite ukraine milf that came over to my house, twice, nut inside unprotected >a chubby mature in her 50 from tinder that came over to my house, once so far >a chubby granny that i came over to her house like a 7 or 10 times over all lemme tell you, sex with a condom is like no sex >>71659418 # >>71660236 # Anonymous >>71659185 (OP) # You f----- an immigrant and two fat grannies. 01/02/23(Mon)14:16:56 No.71659200

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Sigma anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sorry about it haters. 14 KB JPG 01/02/23(Mon)09:01:47 No.71657138 >be me >wear black hoodie every time I leave the house 3 Replies / 1 Image >put the hood up and tuck it behind my ears >people won't stop staring >just another day on my sigma male gridnset View Thread

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Anon is from New Jersey | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/27/22(Tue)16:54:10 No.174774485 F3CD1D93-A058-4AAC-AA25-84B1550E8494.jpg 374 KB JPG >christofuh, some of janice's hippie friends are coming to town in this "mystery machine" and trying to bust our business, i need you to dress up as a monster and scare em out of jersey

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Anon can't touch grass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What the f--- am I 'sposed to (...) 427 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)08:37:49 No.71656927 I have a small issue. >broke >have s----- online job >can't even afford a car >or any mode of transportation >my city has no sidewalks >impossible to get to places on foot >also no public transportation What the f--- am I supposed to do. I'm stuck inside these same four walls doing nothing all say. There's literally no way for me to go outside and touch grass. Help, please. pic unrelated 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Snape is not addicted to polyjuice anymore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago Snape.png (188.5 KB, 1024x556) 135391818 >Potter, a moment of your time, please. >Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions. >I know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it feels", I've heard this little song and dance before. >When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself. There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything >Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter >One day things went wrong, however >Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me >It felt good, Potter >Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest >You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning. >Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That I'd seek it out. >Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students. >Keep that in mind, won't you?

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Greentext Stories - Anon busted a nut | /r/Greentext

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File: E2FbNCiVUAMROZq.jpg (239 KB, 1578x1800) Well happy f------ new year I lost one of my tesicles Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)02:42:44 No.891867569 >>891867695 >>891867702 >>891868558 >>891868675 >Been having massive occasional stomach aches for the last 1,5 months or so. >Only really feel it if i do cardio >Took 1 week sick leave before the holidays >Thought i might have a stomach virus >Got really concerned when my wife asked me if I had been masturbating (I don't because i find it immoral and it's against my religion) because when she goes to push out the leftover c-- after sex she says there's barely anything. >Just a few drops. >Fear the worst >Go to the doctor the next day (22. December) >Says they can't help me but gave me the number to a Urologist. >Make an appointment for the 29th >Go there and they tell me that i got testicular torsion. >They freak out when i tell them it's been going on for over a month. >Tell me i need surgery asap >Get it scheduled for 1. january. I woke up 3 hours ago, apparantly my testicle had died and they removed it right before i got gangrene, they said that i should avoid e---------- for at least a couple months. I'm not 100% sterile and I'll still be able to have kids it just might be more difficult and e---------- is going to be a bit painful for a couple years, and my testosterone levels only MIGHT be affected. How was your New years eve anons?

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