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![Return] [Catalogl [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] 56 1/10 File: Argentinian Beautvipg (106 KB, 250x375) □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:13:16 No.35234176->>35234321 >>35234411 >>35234431 >>35234488 S> S> S> S> S> 335234834>3 PF 2F P2 S> S> I have a lot of chronic back pain and don't care for pain killers. I have heard mixed things about chiropractic work. Is it voodoo pushed by the spinal jew or does it actually help? Red Pill me on chiropractors /pol □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:14:01 No.35234215 Theyre bretty good □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:16:08 No.35234321 35234176 (OP Try Kratom □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:23:19 No.35234654 335234176 (OP I have been on /pol/ for to long I read that as "l have a lot of chronic black pain" >35234176 (OP) Get some kratom bro](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/824/173/a1a.jpg)
![Return] [Catalogl [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] 56 1/10 File: Argentinian Beautvipg (106 KB, 250x375) □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:13:16 No.35234176->>35234321 >>35234411 >>35234431 >>35234488 S> S> S> S> S> 335234834>3 PF 2F P2 S> S> I have a lot of chronic back pain and don't care for pain killers. I have heard mixed things about chiropractic work. Is it voodoo pushed by the spinal jew or does it actually help? Red Pill me on chiropractors /pol □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:14:01 No.35234215 Theyre bretty good □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:16:08 No.35234321 35234176 (OP Try Kratom □ Anonymous 09/05/14(Fri)04:23:19 No.35234654 335234176 (OP I have been on /pol/ for to long I read that as "l have a lot of chronic black pain" >35234176 (OP) Get some kratom bro](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/824/173/a1a.jpg)
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The tale of Thragmarr the barbarian, part 2.
![Greetings everyone! Well, I'm awake again, and as promised, after I shower and eat something. I shall tell you all another story This is the story of how Thragmam braved the Elemental Planes, two of the Nine Hells, and the entire Astral Plane to find Urist Meadbeard, and how their friendship and sheer manliness allowed them to reside in the Heroic Domains of Ysgard for all 1-1ロAnonymous 07/24/12(Tue)14:03 No. 20018568 [ ▼ ] 200136실 2220018715 Hey, sorry about the wait guys, I like to take long showers and I couldn't find the eggs. So, a bit more backstory to put this tale in context Im a year or more younger than the rest of my friends, meaning that Im a grade bellow them. As such, when my senior year came around (which is when this game takes place), most of them went off to college out of state. The DM went to an in-state school, and T was already out of college at the time (he was three grades ahead of my friends). so I ended up spending a of time with them my senior year So one day, the DM calls me up DM Me Eh. I've got work until six, but after that n be free. What's up? DM: Me and T want to run another game, just the three of us, see how it tums out. Id be DMing tomonrow n DM: Great. Bring your dice, Thragman's character sheet, and some snacks and drinks to my place tomorrow around7 see you there. Im prepared for ancther great game with my friends, but m pretty unprepared for what I see when I get there. 07/24/12(Tue The DM had a pretty crazy setup going on. He had taken one of those poster boards that fold in the middle, decorated it with a picture of the Astral Wheel on both sides, and placed it in the middle of the large table that was in his basement. There were three chairs set up. two across from each other and one on the other side, perpendicular to the two chairs. The poster board divided the table in half width-wise, making two separate gaming areas I had a vague notion of what he was going to do with this setup, and after a brief explanation, I was right. Since Thragmarr was currently on the Material Plane, mouming his good friend Urist, and Urist was currently floating through the Astral Plane mourming over the loss of his legendary collection of ales and other liquor, there was no way we'd know what was happening to the other, as such, the DM set up this screen to prevent metagaming Now, you might say "but you can still hear what's going over the sidel", to which I tell you, he had noise canceling headphones for the both Thus began the campaign Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)14:44 No 20018944 I▼1 2220019170 I was the first to go. He turned the board slightly, as to make a larger area for the two of us, and we discussed what I was going to be doing. I had, despite my lacking intellect, deduced that Urist was not actually dead, but in fact had been sucked through a portal to the Astral Plane, and as such could ostensibly be saved. So, after burning a good portion of my reward on research, companions, and expeditions, the DM informed me that I had finally located a portal to the Astral Plane. Armed to the teeth with the magical weapons and armor that I had accumulated over the course of the last game, I bid farewell to the underlings that I had hired to help me in my quest, teling them that if I did not return, then I had ether been successful in my quest, or had died homibly to some monstrosity beyond the realms of man. They wished me well, and I stepped through the portal. Being an barbarian has its downsides. One of them being that you either have to hire someone to read things to you, or try and puzzle through multitudes of arcane tomes in order to find what you're looking for. I chose the former, and paid for it dearly [-Π Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)15:02 No 20013170 [▼] 220019518 The DM informed me that I had made a mistake in my translation of one of the books, which led me wildly astray as to the portal I had entered Tuns out, I ended up on the Elemental Plane of Air. Thragmarr was irritated, since that meant he would not able to find Urist immediately, and it also meant that he actually hadn't taught himself to read properly. And with that, the DM turned to T, and his turn began I found out aterwards that, during his frst turm, Urist figured out how to make himself fly about the Astral Plane, fought some githyanki mind pirates, and encountered a Great Wyrm Bronze Dragon, who taught him about the astral plane, and informed him about the portals which were scattered about the plane that led to various parts of the Cosmology s 07/24/12Tue)15 29 No 20019518 [▼] 22200196 2220019905 Alter waiting through Ts turn, the order passed back to me. DM After stepping through the portal, you find yourself floating in the middle of an empty expanse of sky. The only landmark you can see is the portal behind you, which then vanishes Me DM: Yes grin I l can Me: Yeeeeeeeheheheheehehes Thragmar is master of sky! Thragmar make sky rue the day it make Thragmarr go to wrong place and not find Urist! DM Well, uh, you have to THINK to make yourself fy here With that, I drew my greatsword, and told the DM that Iwasn't using my intellect to move, but rather my deep seated and incurable rage that fuels my every action. He stares at me, then shrugs. "All right, I guess I'll allow it. Anger is a projection of will To speed this story up, basically what happened after that was Thragmar used his anger to make himsef a rocket. After hours of searching, he managed to locate the castle of a djinn, Hoating on a magical island suspended in the sky DM The djinn and his court look upon you with great disdain. "Why do you come before us, mortal? This is no place for your koind. Mayhaps you should take your leave, lest you find yourself in more trouble than you could possibly imagine. Me "No! Thragmar needs your help. magick floating man! Thragmarr must find Unsr DM: The djinn looks at you in confusion. "Who is this Urist? I recount the epic tale of my party in my own simple way, and the DM tells me that at the end of it, the entire court has tears dribbling down their faces. The djinn wipes a tear from his eye. We have never heard such a tale of heroism and friendship. We shall help you, ever you need My turn ends with the djinn allowing me the usage of one of his guest suites, and him giving me his swom word that he would help me find my friend. Of course, taking the sworn word of a djinn at face value is a mistake which many an adventurer makes The tun passes back to T, and he spends another turm flying around the Astral Plane trying to locate a portal to the Material Plane, eventually finding one that looks like it might be the right one. Of course, without a spellcraft check, there was no way to know for sure, so Urist decided he would fly through the portal anyways and take whatever might come his way. That turned out to be a bad idea; the portal deposited him in the middle of the second ring of the Nine Hells, in a place known as the Infernal Court. Rather than simply tear him apart, though, the devils decided that they'd capture Urist, keep him as their pet to torment for their entertainment, and then when his will was broken and he couldn't do any more, THEN they'd tear him apart Of c l have to go pick back i Back, y'all! The car's fine, but I need a part, which is coming in later in the week The djnn tells me that, through clever magical dickery and a properly aligned crystal ball, he's managed to locate my friend, to the best of his knowledge, he's in one of the Nine Hels, but cant realy tell which one. I roll my eyes, asking the DM if he could possibly narrow it down. Thragmam doesn't have an issue cleaving through thousands of devils and their minions to locate, but he WOULD like to know how many thousands he'll have to face off against. The djinn tries his best, but can only narrow it down to the upper few levels; pinpointing him without a sample of his essence is beyond his power, being a lesser djinn. He is, hawever, able to open a portal to the Astral Plane's dimensional "waiting room, which allows easy travel between the planes The dinn tells Thragmarr to take the door which is forged from black iron, and hands him a small silver coin which will afford him some protection from fire and from evil-aligned creatures. He wishes Thragmarr well, and opens the door between the planes After taking a quick ethereal jaunt through time and space, I touch down in the 'waiting room, which is actually just that, a moderately sized room, full of couches, with doors aplenty leading to the various parts of the cosmology Mercifully, I pass the test to remember which door to go through and swinging it open dramatically, step through into the Nine Hells of Baator DM: You stand atop a pillar of salt, narrow stairs winding down around it to the ground. Flames lick at the sky, screams of pure agony fill the air, and as far as you can see lesser devils torment damned souls with pitchforks and saw-toothed glaives. A great cry goes up when they see you, and a horde of winged imps flies at you with malicious intent. Roll for initiativel My DM is great at streamlining large-scale combat, and as such my battle with the lesser devils took only about ten or fifteen minutes, with me cleaving through nine or ten of the imps per round When it was all over, I stood victorious, with only about fifty of my whopping 468 HP missing. I kept one of the lieutenants alive long enough to interrogate him, gleaning that he and his compatriots had heard whispers that some of the lesser nobility of the Second Ring had recently acquired a new mortal plaything with a will of iron and a backbone of steel. He tells me of the portal to the Second Ring and when he also tells me that I will most likely die trying to take my friend back from the nobility. I punch his brain through his face in anger I cleave and smash my way through more hordes of lesser devils on my way to the portal, each one telling me the same thing, that there was no way I could save my friend, that I would die in the Nine Hells, and each time I punched their face in After cutting them all down, I finally reached the portal, and repeated the process again until I reached the lair of the demonic nobility that had my friend s 07/24/12(Tue)17: 17 No 20020876 [リ2220020910 To make a long story short, most of the nobility never stood a damn chance. The silver coin that the djinn gave me gave me a nice damage reduction against their spell-like abiities, and my strength modifier was so high at this point that, coupled with the Large-size greatsword I wielded with the help of Monkey's Grip and the Legendary Cleave feat, I was cutting through crowds of the abhorrent gentry like they were level 1 commoners Finally, I stood before the Pit Fiend who presided over the court, his hands wrapped around the spiked chain that was clamped around Urist's neck. His gloious beard was gone, shaved off by the devils, and all along his arms and upper body pulsing, evil tattoos had been inscribed. The light had gone out of his eyes, and he looked a different dwarf DM The pit fiend laughs, and says mockingly. "Do you like what my devils have done with your friend? We find him much more... obsequious Me: I fly into a rage, attacking the pit fiend. THRAGMARR DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS After a solid half an hour of combat, during which my health is knocked dangerously low, I finally manage to subdue the pit fiend. He lay on the ground in front of me, looking up with an almost pitiable look in his eyes. DM "Mercy... please... I can grant you unimaginable powers... untold riches... you can have anything your heart desires, just dont kill me Me: Thragmarr looks down at the form of the pit fiend, then raises his greatsword above his head to stnike the final fatal blow Thragmarr just want his friend back 7/24/12(Tue I brought the greatsword down, piercing the devil's heart, and his hideous death scream echoed through the blood-stained halls of his decimated court. I leaped forward, encircling Urist in my arms to protect him from the blast that follows his death, and the flames subside, cradle him with tears in my eyes. The DM takes down the screen, and for the first time all game T and I look at each other. We reach across the table and shake hands Me:I lean in, trying to catch what he's saying. What did you say? You shouldn't talk, you're exhausted.. e can whisper, "lf ye have a drink, by the gods, give it Urist puts his face right up to your ear Me: I laugh heartily, reach in my pack, and give him the masterwork wineskin Urist gave to me after our first big job together. He slurps the booze down eagerly, and I put him on my back, carrying him to the partal. We manage to get back to the "waiting room" without much trouble, and look about us. We can tell which door leads back to the Material Plane, but.. another door □ Anonymous 0724/12Tue)18 02 No 2002 1430 [r] >>20021459 2220021463 It's majestic, carved out of solid oak, steel studded with a motif of crossed swords embossed into it with inhuman skill. I look over my shoulder at Urist, who shrugs. "t looks ta be a bit more innerestin' than the other one."I take the knob, and walk the door At first, we think we've simply ended up back on the Material Plane. It all seems pretty familiar, but after a bit of wallking, we notice we feel less tired, and Urist can even hobble along of his own power, the colors are brighter and more bold, and much to Urist's delight, the wineskin seems to refil itself. After about two hours walk, we end up at a great festival, with huge tents of all sorts of colors set up, the sounds of ringing metal, bawdy jokes, and shouts filling the air, and humanoids of all shapes and sizes walking around enjoying the fair. We gape, open-mouthed, at this warniors paradise we've stumbled into, until a towering man in a horned helm wearing a masterfully crafted set of armor carrying a battleaxe notices u glonousflapiackjog (57 KB, 320x240) iodb google Ho there, lads! It's not often we see new faces here in Ysgard. What might yer names be?" After introducing ourselves, and explaining our situation, the man sends for a litter to carry Urist to what he calls "the Hero's Bath". He takes me into a pavilion, which is filled with feasting men and women dressed in all sorts of clothing, and bids them be silent. He seats himself in a massive throne, and tells me to recount my tale After my second retelling, the entire pavilion is silent for a few minutes, digesting the story. Suddenly, it explodes into furious applause, drunken cheening, and outright sobs of joy. Men clap me on the back and shove drinks into my hands, women come up to me and kiss me, poets offer their senvices to record my tale, and blacksmiths beg me to smith the finest new equipment so l might try my skill in the toumeys. Kord himself raises meu head of the table by his right hand But just as suddenly a ll began, a hush falls over the throng. 1 look about the pavilion for the source, and see it immediately 07/24/12(Tue thisnigga ing (103 KB, 392x445) indb google (That is most definitely not the picture I selected. I've never even seen that pic before, what the actual f---) Urist stands at the entrance to the pavilion, tall and proud, restored to his former dwarven glory. His beard is back, as thick and luxurious as I remember, and he's clad in the finest furs and armors that the legendary craftsmen of Ysgard can produce. I stride over to him, and raise him up on my shoulder, as the pavilion once again explodes into thunderous applause. And so our campaign drew to a close. Urist and Thragmarr lived out their days in the lap of warrior's luxury, feasting, wenching, and fighting, going undefeated for as long as they live. IR was an epic ending to an epic campaign, one that satisfied all parties involved. I rank it as my number one campaign ever played, and I reuse Thragmam on a regular basis I hope you all enjoyed my story. Stay classy.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/822/910/c4a.jpg)
![Greetings everyone! Well, I'm awake again, and as promised, after I shower and eat something. I shall tell you all another story This is the story of how Thragmam braved the Elemental Planes, two of the Nine Hells, and the entire Astral Plane to find Urist Meadbeard, and how their friendship and sheer manliness allowed them to reside in the Heroic Domains of Ysgard for all 1-1ロAnonymous 07/24/12(Tue)14:03 No. 20018568 [ ▼ ] 200136실 2220018715 Hey, sorry about the wait guys, I like to take long showers and I couldn't find the eggs. So, a bit more backstory to put this tale in context Im a year or more younger than the rest of my friends, meaning that Im a grade bellow them. As such, when my senior year came around (which is when this game takes place), most of them went off to college out of state. The DM went to an in-state school, and T was already out of college at the time (he was three grades ahead of my friends). so I ended up spending a of time with them my senior year So one day, the DM calls me up DM Me Eh. I've got work until six, but after that n be free. What's up? DM: Me and T want to run another game, just the three of us, see how it tums out. Id be DMing tomonrow n DM: Great. Bring your dice, Thragman's character sheet, and some snacks and drinks to my place tomorrow around7 see you there. Im prepared for ancther great game with my friends, but m pretty unprepared for what I see when I get there. 07/24/12(Tue The DM had a pretty crazy setup going on. He had taken one of those poster boards that fold in the middle, decorated it with a picture of the Astral Wheel on both sides, and placed it in the middle of the large table that was in his basement. There were three chairs set up. two across from each other and one on the other side, perpendicular to the two chairs. The poster board divided the table in half width-wise, making two separate gaming areas I had a vague notion of what he was going to do with this setup, and after a brief explanation, I was right. Since Thragmarr was currently on the Material Plane, mouming his good friend Urist, and Urist was currently floating through the Astral Plane mourming over the loss of his legendary collection of ales and other liquor, there was no way we'd know what was happening to the other, as such, the DM set up this screen to prevent metagaming Now, you might say "but you can still hear what's going over the sidel", to which I tell you, he had noise canceling headphones for the both Thus began the campaign Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)14:44 No 20018944 I▼1 2220019170 I was the first to go. He turned the board slightly, as to make a larger area for the two of us, and we discussed what I was going to be doing. I had, despite my lacking intellect, deduced that Urist was not actually dead, but in fact had been sucked through a portal to the Astral Plane, and as such could ostensibly be saved. So, after burning a good portion of my reward on research, companions, and expeditions, the DM informed me that I had finally located a portal to the Astral Plane. Armed to the teeth with the magical weapons and armor that I had accumulated over the course of the last game, I bid farewell to the underlings that I had hired to help me in my quest, teling them that if I did not return, then I had ether been successful in my quest, or had died homibly to some monstrosity beyond the realms of man. They wished me well, and I stepped through the portal. Being an barbarian has its downsides. One of them being that you either have to hire someone to read things to you, or try and puzzle through multitudes of arcane tomes in order to find what you're looking for. I chose the former, and paid for it dearly [-Π Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)15:02 No 20013170 [▼] 220019518 The DM informed me that I had made a mistake in my translation of one of the books, which led me wildly astray as to the portal I had entered Tuns out, I ended up on the Elemental Plane of Air. Thragmarr was irritated, since that meant he would not able to find Urist immediately, and it also meant that he actually hadn't taught himself to read properly. And with that, the DM turned to T, and his turn began I found out aterwards that, during his frst turm, Urist figured out how to make himself fly about the Astral Plane, fought some githyanki mind pirates, and encountered a Great Wyrm Bronze Dragon, who taught him about the astral plane, and informed him about the portals which were scattered about the plane that led to various parts of the Cosmology s 07/24/12Tue)15 29 No 20019518 [▼] 22200196 2220019905 Alter waiting through Ts turn, the order passed back to me. DM After stepping through the portal, you find yourself floating in the middle of an empty expanse of sky. The only landmark you can see is the portal behind you, which then vanishes Me DM: Yes grin I l can Me: Yeeeeeeeheheheheehehes Thragmar is master of sky! Thragmar make sky rue the day it make Thragmarr go to wrong place and not find Urist! DM Well, uh, you have to THINK to make yourself fy here With that, I drew my greatsword, and told the DM that Iwasn't using my intellect to move, but rather my deep seated and incurable rage that fuels my every action. He stares at me, then shrugs. "All right, I guess I'll allow it. Anger is a projection of will To speed this story up, basically what happened after that was Thragmar used his anger to make himsef a rocket. After hours of searching, he managed to locate the castle of a djinn, Hoating on a magical island suspended in the sky DM The djinn and his court look upon you with great disdain. "Why do you come before us, mortal? This is no place for your koind. Mayhaps you should take your leave, lest you find yourself in more trouble than you could possibly imagine. Me "No! Thragmar needs your help. magick floating man! Thragmarr must find Unsr DM: The djinn looks at you in confusion. "Who is this Urist? I recount the epic tale of my party in my own simple way, and the DM tells me that at the end of it, the entire court has tears dribbling down their faces. The djinn wipes a tear from his eye. We have never heard such a tale of heroism and friendship. We shall help you, ever you need My turn ends with the djinn allowing me the usage of one of his guest suites, and him giving me his swom word that he would help me find my friend. Of course, taking the sworn word of a djinn at face value is a mistake which many an adventurer makes The tun passes back to T, and he spends another turm flying around the Astral Plane trying to locate a portal to the Material Plane, eventually finding one that looks like it might be the right one. Of course, without a spellcraft check, there was no way to know for sure, so Urist decided he would fly through the portal anyways and take whatever might come his way. That turned out to be a bad idea; the portal deposited him in the middle of the second ring of the Nine Hells, in a place known as the Infernal Court. Rather than simply tear him apart, though, the devils decided that they'd capture Urist, keep him as their pet to torment for their entertainment, and then when his will was broken and he couldn't do any more, THEN they'd tear him apart Of c l have to go pick back i Back, y'all! The car's fine, but I need a part, which is coming in later in the week The djnn tells me that, through clever magical dickery and a properly aligned crystal ball, he's managed to locate my friend, to the best of his knowledge, he's in one of the Nine Hels, but cant realy tell which one. I roll my eyes, asking the DM if he could possibly narrow it down. Thragmam doesn't have an issue cleaving through thousands of devils and their minions to locate, but he WOULD like to know how many thousands he'll have to face off against. The djinn tries his best, but can only narrow it down to the upper few levels; pinpointing him without a sample of his essence is beyond his power, being a lesser djinn. He is, hawever, able to open a portal to the Astral Plane's dimensional "waiting room, which allows easy travel between the planes The dinn tells Thragmarr to take the door which is forged from black iron, and hands him a small silver coin which will afford him some protection from fire and from evil-aligned creatures. He wishes Thragmarr well, and opens the door between the planes After taking a quick ethereal jaunt through time and space, I touch down in the 'waiting room, which is actually just that, a moderately sized room, full of couches, with doors aplenty leading to the various parts of the cosmology Mercifully, I pass the test to remember which door to go through and swinging it open dramatically, step through into the Nine Hells of Baator DM: You stand atop a pillar of salt, narrow stairs winding down around it to the ground. Flames lick at the sky, screams of pure agony fill the air, and as far as you can see lesser devils torment damned souls with pitchforks and saw-toothed glaives. A great cry goes up when they see you, and a horde of winged imps flies at you with malicious intent. Roll for initiativel My DM is great at streamlining large-scale combat, and as such my battle with the lesser devils took only about ten or fifteen minutes, with me cleaving through nine or ten of the imps per round When it was all over, I stood victorious, with only about fifty of my whopping 468 HP missing. I kept one of the lieutenants alive long enough to interrogate him, gleaning that he and his compatriots had heard whispers that some of the lesser nobility of the Second Ring had recently acquired a new mortal plaything with a will of iron and a backbone of steel. He tells me of the portal to the Second Ring and when he also tells me that I will most likely die trying to take my friend back from the nobility. I punch his brain through his face in anger I cleave and smash my way through more hordes of lesser devils on my way to the portal, each one telling me the same thing, that there was no way I could save my friend, that I would die in the Nine Hells, and each time I punched their face in After cutting them all down, I finally reached the portal, and repeated the process again until I reached the lair of the demonic nobility that had my friend s 07/24/12(Tue)17: 17 No 20020876 [リ2220020910 To make a long story short, most of the nobility never stood a damn chance. The silver coin that the djinn gave me gave me a nice damage reduction against their spell-like abiities, and my strength modifier was so high at this point that, coupled with the Large-size greatsword I wielded with the help of Monkey's Grip and the Legendary Cleave feat, I was cutting through crowds of the abhorrent gentry like they were level 1 commoners Finally, I stood before the Pit Fiend who presided over the court, his hands wrapped around the spiked chain that was clamped around Urist's neck. His gloious beard was gone, shaved off by the devils, and all along his arms and upper body pulsing, evil tattoos had been inscribed. The light had gone out of his eyes, and he looked a different dwarf DM The pit fiend laughs, and says mockingly. "Do you like what my devils have done with your friend? We find him much more... obsequious Me: I fly into a rage, attacking the pit fiend. THRAGMARR DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS After a solid half an hour of combat, during which my health is knocked dangerously low, I finally manage to subdue the pit fiend. He lay on the ground in front of me, looking up with an almost pitiable look in his eyes. DM "Mercy... please... I can grant you unimaginable powers... untold riches... you can have anything your heart desires, just dont kill me Me: Thragmarr looks down at the form of the pit fiend, then raises his greatsword above his head to stnike the final fatal blow Thragmarr just want his friend back 7/24/12(Tue I brought the greatsword down, piercing the devil's heart, and his hideous death scream echoed through the blood-stained halls of his decimated court. I leaped forward, encircling Urist in my arms to protect him from the blast that follows his death, and the flames subside, cradle him with tears in my eyes. The DM takes down the screen, and for the first time all game T and I look at each other. We reach across the table and shake hands Me:I lean in, trying to catch what he's saying. What did you say? You shouldn't talk, you're exhausted.. e can whisper, "lf ye have a drink, by the gods, give it Urist puts his face right up to your ear Me: I laugh heartily, reach in my pack, and give him the masterwork wineskin Urist gave to me after our first big job together. He slurps the booze down eagerly, and I put him on my back, carrying him to the partal. We manage to get back to the "waiting room" without much trouble, and look about us. We can tell which door leads back to the Material Plane, but.. another door □ Anonymous 0724/12Tue)18 02 No 2002 1430 [r] >>20021459 2220021463 It's majestic, carved out of solid oak, steel studded with a motif of crossed swords embossed into it with inhuman skill. I look over my shoulder at Urist, who shrugs. "t looks ta be a bit more innerestin' than the other one."I take the knob, and walk the door At first, we think we've simply ended up back on the Material Plane. It all seems pretty familiar, but after a bit of wallking, we notice we feel less tired, and Urist can even hobble along of his own power, the colors are brighter and more bold, and much to Urist's delight, the wineskin seems to refil itself. After about two hours walk, we end up at a great festival, with huge tents of all sorts of colors set up, the sounds of ringing metal, bawdy jokes, and shouts filling the air, and humanoids of all shapes and sizes walking around enjoying the fair. We gape, open-mouthed, at this warniors paradise we've stumbled into, until a towering man in a horned helm wearing a masterfully crafted set of armor carrying a battleaxe notices u glonousflapiackjog (57 KB, 320x240) iodb google Ho there, lads! It's not often we see new faces here in Ysgard. What might yer names be?" After introducing ourselves, and explaining our situation, the man sends for a litter to carry Urist to what he calls "the Hero's Bath". He takes me into a pavilion, which is filled with feasting men and women dressed in all sorts of clothing, and bids them be silent. He seats himself in a massive throne, and tells me to recount my tale After my second retelling, the entire pavilion is silent for a few minutes, digesting the story. Suddenly, it explodes into furious applause, drunken cheening, and outright sobs of joy. Men clap me on the back and shove drinks into my hands, women come up to me and kiss me, poets offer their senvices to record my tale, and blacksmiths beg me to smith the finest new equipment so l might try my skill in the toumeys. Kord himself raises meu head of the table by his right hand But just as suddenly a ll began, a hush falls over the throng. 1 look about the pavilion for the source, and see it immediately 07/24/12(Tue thisnigga ing (103 KB, 392x445) indb google (That is most definitely not the picture I selected. I've never even seen that pic before, what the actual f---) Urist stands at the entrance to the pavilion, tall and proud, restored to his former dwarven glory. His beard is back, as thick and luxurious as I remember, and he's clad in the finest furs and armors that the legendary craftsmen of Ysgard can produce. I stride over to him, and raise him up on my shoulder, as the pavilion once again explodes into thunderous applause. And so our campaign drew to a close. Urist and Thragmarr lived out their days in the lap of warrior's luxury, feasting, wenching, and fighting, going undefeated for as long as they live. IR was an epic ending to an epic campaign, one that satisfied all parties involved. I rank it as my number one campaign ever played, and I reuse Thragmam on a regular basis I hope you all enjoyed my story. Stay classy.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/822/910/c4a.jpg)
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![| mwing (13 KB, 250x265) idh googs tg 껀 Anonymous 07124/12mue)01:01 No 20013482]'] Alright, since I didnt see one, its time for an awesome games thread DM: Okay guys, time to start the game. What are you guys playing? Friend. Im playing a dwarven barbarian. He liked booze a little too much and got kicked out of his mountainhome Me: Well, ah, Ialso rolled up a barbarian. He's a human though, who's lived in the shadow of the same mountain his entire life but never knew there were dwarves there. That's how me and Friend 1 met OM Okay. DM. Huh, okay. I guess we can make it work. And what about you guys? sounds good. How about you 3 and 4 all Friend 3 Wel、uh、we all rolled barbanans too The DM looks at all of us, then rites through his notes for the next couple of sessions and throws away about hall of t campaign Anonymous 07/24/12(Tuel01 22 No 20013638 1 ▼ ] 20013w§ >>20015049 since you guys asked. nI start with a bit of These guys have been my friends for a long time now. They were the frst peaple I ever played D&D with, and i had been quite some time since rd roleplayed with them. So, when my friend who had usualy been a player suggested we all try and play There are six of us, including the DM. Me, who will be Anon for the purposes of this story, Friend 1, who shall be J, Friend 2, who shall be T, Friend 3, who shall be G, and Friend 4, who shall be M Now, I was usually the ona to play the DEX characters, roguas, rangers and the lke, so I saw this game as a chance to change up my playing style. However, we're all pretty tucking bad at communication and were pretty busy peopla, so we didnt realy talk about the kind of characters we wold be playing |ロAnonymous 07/24/12Tue101 35 No 20013745 [*) >>20013704 2220013775 2220013824 >>20013946 So the day finally roiled around we all show up on time with our dice and our character sheats and take our seats around the table. Ater the shock of the intial realzation, we laugh it off and stat playing OM So the fi of you are seated across form the Adjudicator of the city. He gazes balefully at you . J: Im sorry, but my character's NT score is 7. What do those words mean? DM: Adjudic-ator is man who make law Balefuly is angnily M:shufing a sheaf of papers between his hands. Looking at you again balef.er, angnly, he tells you that there are a number of criminals that need to be apprehended He stands up and hands you the ist The DM gives me a handwritten list of names, descriptions, reasons for warrant, and bounty amounts.I turn it over in my hands, staning intently at the paper from all angles, then turn to the DM Me.. .Thragmam cant read giggle again. The DM sighs 1 Anonymous 07/24/12 Tue 01 58 No 20013946 [ 222001424 2220014609 G. My character can. He has an INT score of 12 G: It's trua His name is Ser Grogg, Esquire. He's a nobleman... of sorts DM IREALLY should have looked aver your characters beforehand, but all right Continue. G proceeds to read out the list of criminals while we listen, completely enraptured by his ability to read, which is a foreign concept to all of our characters. After a bet of bickering. we decide the first person we're going to track down is a horse thief who's Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue02 24 No 20014240 [▼1-20014514 >>20014602 Sorry this is taking so long. Tm weting from memory and Tm not the astest typer Fast forwarding a bit. Ater a ong ride out to the hideout of the horse thier, during wtich we praised Grogg& lot for his 8stounding sbiity to read, we Snaly get to the cave system he'd been using (a latle cliched,I know, but the DM is a fan of such things). We dismount, and after a few minutes of planning, decide that we're going to try and sneak up to the entrance DM Wel, the thief has a couple of semries posted M Okay guys, I have an idea. Let's disguise one of us as a tree and sneak up on them. idea M roils a disguise check, and we assist him, giving him a +4 to disguise himsef as a tree. He rolls a 13, which gives him a 17 to the roll, making it a success. His rall to sneak, hawever, is another story, he rols a 6, which takes a 2 because he's disguised DM. The sentries notice you We all look at M ike he's gone bananas. J: You said you were a barbarianl Ha than proceeds to tel us how his barbarian pulls out his arcane-carved stick, wave it around chanting nonsense for a few seconds, then point it at the two guards, shouting "SLEEP NOWT Both M's barbarian and the guards are perplaxed, the barbarian because he doesnt know why the spell didn't work, and the guards because they don't know what the f--- is happening So Ms barbanan dd the only thing a barbanan would possibly do in th硝stuatan get frustrated and bash m over the head with his "wzard staff knocking them out cold I wasnt realy expecting to storytime, I was just making a cool games thread We love this tum of events, and even the DM cracks a grin at the creative roleplaying We decide that there's no reason for us to even attempt to sneak around inside the hideout, and instead opt to break down the door We cleave and bash our way through plenty of baddies, eventualy reaching the chambers of the horse thief DM: His chambers ane draped in all sorts of cloth and chains, with arcane scrawls adoming the wals. There are boolics everywhere, and atop a tall pedestal a skull wth a pentagram on the forehead glares down at you with a malevolent air He proceeds to read off s long, impressive speech by the horse thie about the coming of the end of all things. After patiently waiting it out, we initiste combat, quickly kiling the fragile NPC, and hack of his head and thumbs T: Okay, let's get out of here DM But don't you want to look und some more? G: We already gat everything af value out of this place, let's just take af Me: Dude, we're f------ barbarians. What the hell are we going to do with books? Anonymous 07/24/120Tue)03 06 No 200146141 ▼] >2200146苴>220014631 The DM hufts, but cant realy do anything to stop us since he abhors ralroadng. So we stnike back out towards the town, savered head and thumbs dangling in a sack off the side of the horse Over the course of the game, which unfortunately only lasted about a two dozen or so sessions due to college getting in the way and respective jobs imiting our time, we collect each of these outlaws, and each time they have a pretty similar setup going on a seemingy mundane criminal in possession of a great deal of magical tems. And, each tima without tal, our simplig minds would miss out on the connection, get distracted by shiny things and other macguftns, and fal to notity anyone of import But, I have to tell you, t was a hell of a ride The dwart was tossed on mutiple occasions, and in one instance ended up inside the guts of a giant. He proceedad to hack is way up through his body, cut the heart out of it, and burst out of his chest, screeching then take a tremendous bte out of the stil-beating organ. We were all a bt more atsid of him sher that. Probably my finest moment in combst roiling occurred during this campsign, too, we were fighting a group of Greater Barghests, and had just been disarmed. Not about to lay down and let these things eat my face, I rolled a 19 on a Strength check to grab the nearest one by the tail and swing it about, bashing the other Barghests into the negatives.I wasnt content with just that, though; thare was still one standing ater that, so I rolled a motharfucking nat 20 and, in a scene straight out of Dort Fot, tossed the Barghest theough the other Barghest But I Despite our best efforts to continue meeting the time finally came when our boisterous group of brawny barbarians was to disband. We'd proven our worth a hundred times over to the townspeople, so they were awarding each of us with a small parcel of Ser Grogg would fnally be a real lord, with real peasants and real holdings, and Urist Meadbeard the dwarf could have his very own, genuine dwarven tavem to destroy every night in a drunken rage and build back up again in the moming. Theagmar was not content to settle down, so he planned to sell the land, get an even bigger axe with the money, and find the legendary plane of Ysgard, where he could fight, drink, and wench far all eternity. He eventually got there, but that's another game entirely. Rolf became the most tamous Muscle Wizard in the land, and planned to use his gold, land, and influance to start a school for his unique brand of magic But fate, the DM, and our good tend J. had other plans 352 KB, 1062x706) idb g9g 20014681 His grin was absolutely malicious as he sat behind his screen and descibed the calamity that befell us as we were awarded our holdings. It was as if he'd finally found a way to get back at us for derailing his campaign so completely so spectacularly, that there was no way in hell he was going to finish it the way he'd planned to So he decided to try and do the next be轼thing Ka al of our character What it boiled down to was this Each of the outlaws had been part of the same malevolent cuit seeking to resurrect a forgotten beast which slumbered beneath the township. Its name had been lost to the ages, but pictures had M sun ed, and some ht bulb decided he wanted to see this th firsthand Fortun ely for us, the cult sts had mucked up their spels without being able to Sgure out how to get the spell to acti ate u ortunately for us, behid our backs J and the had conspired to make J the final piece of the puzzle, which would swaken the slumbering monster and (hopefully) kill us al DM: As you stand atop the stage, cheenng throngs of townspeople all around you, you're all suddenly jostled out of tha way UI shove the party aside and toss the mayor a ay from the pedestal下0 s! You co ne here on this day fo celebration B 시 a heart, falling here to tel you that this day he alds your doo r with those words da " y longs or and pl nge it through my own Our f------ faces when s 07/24/12(Tue)03 40 No 20014776 [ 2220014796 222001487s 2220014 1 341755551419-34176Lu凶(23 KB. 414x356) Ladb gooule DM The gound quakes and be ns t ng apart a great groaning and ashing a teeth nging upfrom the crack ng earth wo hundred yards away, a tre section of the town disappears sliding beneath the ground as something massive stirs. Moments later, from within the bowels of the earth, the Uenamed One rises, Rs many tentacles whipping about its head in a bloody frenzy as its eons-long slumber inaly ends. The townspeople scream and panic running in every direction in their primal fear Women and children scream and cry, the old and weak are trampled underfoot, and men go mad at the sight of such a monstrosity t opens its seven gaping maws, looses a mighty roar you Again, our tucking faces when 1回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)03 59 No 20014875 [リー20014300 >>20014905 20014776 We all rol reasonably well I gat a 16, M gats a 15, G gats a 19, and T rolls a 13 Unfortunately, the DM knew we'd do fairly well on our initiatives, so to counteract the penalty to intiative that Massive creatures take, he stacked Improved Initiative on the monster something like five times, and it went first. Luckily, he gave us this ound to prepare, as it would take at least two turns for the beast to get over to where we were. We want into a quick huddla, made our plan, and stood our ground against the charge Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be beset upon by a kraken, when you're armed only with a greatsword of magic power and dubious origin? How about f that kraken was on land, could cast several level 3 spels as ablities, eschewing both ma enals and somatic components and dd 3d 10+35 dama e per swing? That's what it was o fi ting this monster tall you if we hadnt undered an a nazng amount a gold from each of the hideouts de to 植fiat 1n treasure eneration, we wo dn't have stood a chance. As t was, we were getting pummeled, and we needed to end it tast. So T passes me a note. I look at him, and solemnly nod my head 220014875 DM: Anon, the round passes to you. What are your actions? T 1jest want ye to know, twas the greatest honor I ever knew 5ghtin slongside ye Me: I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I see them welling up in Urist's too. I hand him my Portable Hale, and he takes out his Bag of Halding T "Now toss me, you sodding moron, one last time I rolled. I wish I could say it was a natural twenty, because by Kord, Urist deserved t. But it wasnt. It was a nineteen. With my strength modider, and the feat from Complete Warrior that lets you toss things better, that added up to a 31 Ma: I spin Urist around, tears streaming down my face into my beard as I do so, and toss him into the gaping maw af the Unnamad Ona DM T, the round passes to you. You take 23 points of crushing damage and 47 points of acid damage, which brings you to three HP The DM looks at us, then at his notes, then leans back in his chai DM A portal opens up, sucking you and the Unnamed One into the Astral Plane ]回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)04 11 No20014937 I'] 22200149矼2220020012 20014905 We all passed our strength checks to avoid being sucked through, miraculously. Everyone was quiet for a few minutes after that. The DM looked as if he was cycing between pure, unadukerated fury and helpless adoration at the defeat of his EBEG. J just loolked sulen; he wanted us to die with him, not defeat the monster in such an epic way The town buit a statue to men a ze Unst or his sacrifce. To this day, the township and the other party members like to think he's on some better plane. one with lots of booze and fi ting. I know better thou because as turned out he was But, ike I said before, that's a story for another day](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/822/391/e36.png)
![| mwing (13 KB, 250x265) idh googs tg 껀 Anonymous 07124/12mue)01:01 No 20013482]'] Alright, since I didnt see one, its time for an awesome games thread DM: Okay guys, time to start the game. What are you guys playing? Friend. Im playing a dwarven barbarian. He liked booze a little too much and got kicked out of his mountainhome Me: Well, ah, Ialso rolled up a barbarian. He's a human though, who's lived in the shadow of the same mountain his entire life but never knew there were dwarves there. That's how me and Friend 1 met OM Okay. DM. Huh, okay. I guess we can make it work. And what about you guys? sounds good. How about you 3 and 4 all Friend 3 Wel、uh、we all rolled barbanans too The DM looks at all of us, then rites through his notes for the next couple of sessions and throws away about hall of t campaign Anonymous 07/24/12(Tuel01 22 No 20013638 1 ▼ ] 20013w§ >>20015049 since you guys asked. nI start with a bit of These guys have been my friends for a long time now. They were the frst peaple I ever played D&D with, and i had been quite some time since rd roleplayed with them. So, when my friend who had usualy been a player suggested we all try and play There are six of us, including the DM. Me, who will be Anon for the purposes of this story, Friend 1, who shall be J, Friend 2, who shall be T, Friend 3, who shall be G, and Friend 4, who shall be M Now, I was usually the ona to play the DEX characters, roguas, rangers and the lke, so I saw this game as a chance to change up my playing style. However, we're all pretty tucking bad at communication and were pretty busy peopla, so we didnt realy talk about the kind of characters we wold be playing |ロAnonymous 07/24/12Tue101 35 No 20013745 [*) >>20013704 2220013775 2220013824 >>20013946 So the day finally roiled around we all show up on time with our dice and our character sheats and take our seats around the table. Ater the shock of the intial realzation, we laugh it off and stat playing OM So the fi of you are seated across form the Adjudicator of the city. He gazes balefully at you . J: Im sorry, but my character's NT score is 7. What do those words mean? DM: Adjudic-ator is man who make law Balefuly is angnily M:shufing a sheaf of papers between his hands. Looking at you again balef.er, angnly, he tells you that there are a number of criminals that need to be apprehended He stands up and hands you the ist The DM gives me a handwritten list of names, descriptions, reasons for warrant, and bounty amounts.I turn it over in my hands, staning intently at the paper from all angles, then turn to the DM Me.. .Thragmam cant read giggle again. The DM sighs 1 Anonymous 07/24/12 Tue 01 58 No 20013946 [ 222001424 2220014609 G. My character can. He has an INT score of 12 G: It's trua His name is Ser Grogg, Esquire. He's a nobleman... of sorts DM IREALLY should have looked aver your characters beforehand, but all right Continue. G proceeds to read out the list of criminals while we listen, completely enraptured by his ability to read, which is a foreign concept to all of our characters. After a bet of bickering. we decide the first person we're going to track down is a horse thief who's Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue02 24 No 20014240 [▼1-20014514 >>20014602 Sorry this is taking so long. Tm weting from memory and Tm not the astest typer Fast forwarding a bit. Ater a ong ride out to the hideout of the horse thier, during wtich we praised Grogg& lot for his 8stounding sbiity to read, we Snaly get to the cave system he'd been using (a latle cliched,I know, but the DM is a fan of such things). We dismount, and after a few minutes of planning, decide that we're going to try and sneak up to the entrance DM Wel, the thief has a couple of semries posted M Okay guys, I have an idea. Let's disguise one of us as a tree and sneak up on them. idea M roils a disguise check, and we assist him, giving him a +4 to disguise himsef as a tree. He rolls a 13, which gives him a 17 to the roll, making it a success. His rall to sneak, hawever, is another story, he rols a 6, which takes a 2 because he's disguised DM. The sentries notice you We all look at M ike he's gone bananas. J: You said you were a barbarianl Ha than proceeds to tel us how his barbarian pulls out his arcane-carved stick, wave it around chanting nonsense for a few seconds, then point it at the two guards, shouting "SLEEP NOWT Both M's barbarian and the guards are perplaxed, the barbarian because he doesnt know why the spell didn't work, and the guards because they don't know what the f--- is happening So Ms barbanan dd the only thing a barbanan would possibly do in th硝stuatan get frustrated and bash m over the head with his "wzard staff knocking them out cold I wasnt realy expecting to storytime, I was just making a cool games thread We love this tum of events, and even the DM cracks a grin at the creative roleplaying We decide that there's no reason for us to even attempt to sneak around inside the hideout, and instead opt to break down the door We cleave and bash our way through plenty of baddies, eventualy reaching the chambers of the horse thief DM: His chambers ane draped in all sorts of cloth and chains, with arcane scrawls adoming the wals. There are boolics everywhere, and atop a tall pedestal a skull wth a pentagram on the forehead glares down at you with a malevolent air He proceeds to read off s long, impressive speech by the horse thie about the coming of the end of all things. After patiently waiting it out, we initiste combat, quickly kiling the fragile NPC, and hack of his head and thumbs T: Okay, let's get out of here DM But don't you want to look und some more? G: We already gat everything af value out of this place, let's just take af Me: Dude, we're f------ barbarians. What the hell are we going to do with books? Anonymous 07/24/120Tue)03 06 No 200146141 ▼] >2200146苴>220014631 The DM hufts, but cant realy do anything to stop us since he abhors ralroadng. So we stnike back out towards the town, savered head and thumbs dangling in a sack off the side of the horse Over the course of the game, which unfortunately only lasted about a two dozen or so sessions due to college getting in the way and respective jobs imiting our time, we collect each of these outlaws, and each time they have a pretty similar setup going on a seemingy mundane criminal in possession of a great deal of magical tems. And, each tima without tal, our simplig minds would miss out on the connection, get distracted by shiny things and other macguftns, and fal to notity anyone of import But, I have to tell you, t was a hell of a ride The dwart was tossed on mutiple occasions, and in one instance ended up inside the guts of a giant. He proceedad to hack is way up through his body, cut the heart out of it, and burst out of his chest, screeching then take a tremendous bte out of the stil-beating organ. We were all a bt more atsid of him sher that. Probably my finest moment in combst roiling occurred during this campsign, too, we were fighting a group of Greater Barghests, and had just been disarmed. Not about to lay down and let these things eat my face, I rolled a 19 on a Strength check to grab the nearest one by the tail and swing it about, bashing the other Barghests into the negatives.I wasnt content with just that, though; thare was still one standing ater that, so I rolled a motharfucking nat 20 and, in a scene straight out of Dort Fot, tossed the Barghest theough the other Barghest But I Despite our best efforts to continue meeting the time finally came when our boisterous group of brawny barbarians was to disband. We'd proven our worth a hundred times over to the townspeople, so they were awarding each of us with a small parcel of Ser Grogg would fnally be a real lord, with real peasants and real holdings, and Urist Meadbeard the dwarf could have his very own, genuine dwarven tavem to destroy every night in a drunken rage and build back up again in the moming. Theagmar was not content to settle down, so he planned to sell the land, get an even bigger axe with the money, and find the legendary plane of Ysgard, where he could fight, drink, and wench far all eternity. He eventually got there, but that's another game entirely. Rolf became the most tamous Muscle Wizard in the land, and planned to use his gold, land, and influance to start a school for his unique brand of magic But fate, the DM, and our good tend J. had other plans 352 KB, 1062x706) idb g9g 20014681 His grin was absolutely malicious as he sat behind his screen and descibed the calamity that befell us as we were awarded our holdings. It was as if he'd finally found a way to get back at us for derailing his campaign so completely so spectacularly, that there was no way in hell he was going to finish it the way he'd planned to So he decided to try and do the next be轼thing Ka al of our character What it boiled down to was this Each of the outlaws had been part of the same malevolent cuit seeking to resurrect a forgotten beast which slumbered beneath the township. Its name had been lost to the ages, but pictures had M sun ed, and some ht bulb decided he wanted to see this th firsthand Fortun ely for us, the cult sts had mucked up their spels without being able to Sgure out how to get the spell to acti ate u ortunately for us, behid our backs J and the had conspired to make J the final piece of the puzzle, which would swaken the slumbering monster and (hopefully) kill us al DM: As you stand atop the stage, cheenng throngs of townspeople all around you, you're all suddenly jostled out of tha way UI shove the party aside and toss the mayor a ay from the pedestal下0 s! You co ne here on this day fo celebration B 시 a heart, falling here to tel you that this day he alds your doo r with those words da " y longs or and pl nge it through my own Our f------ faces when s 07/24/12(Tue)03 40 No 20014776 [ 2220014796 222001487s 2220014 1 341755551419-34176Lu凶(23 KB. 414x356) Ladb gooule DM The gound quakes and be ns t ng apart a great groaning and ashing a teeth nging upfrom the crack ng earth wo hundred yards away, a tre section of the town disappears sliding beneath the ground as something massive stirs. Moments later, from within the bowels of the earth, the Uenamed One rises, Rs many tentacles whipping about its head in a bloody frenzy as its eons-long slumber inaly ends. The townspeople scream and panic running in every direction in their primal fear Women and children scream and cry, the old and weak are trampled underfoot, and men go mad at the sight of such a monstrosity t opens its seven gaping maws, looses a mighty roar you Again, our tucking faces when 1回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)03 59 No 20014875 [リー20014300 >>20014905 20014776 We all rol reasonably well I gat a 16, M gats a 15, G gats a 19, and T rolls a 13 Unfortunately, the DM knew we'd do fairly well on our initiatives, so to counteract the penalty to intiative that Massive creatures take, he stacked Improved Initiative on the monster something like five times, and it went first. Luckily, he gave us this ound to prepare, as it would take at least two turns for the beast to get over to where we were. We want into a quick huddla, made our plan, and stood our ground against the charge Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be beset upon by a kraken, when you're armed only with a greatsword of magic power and dubious origin? How about f that kraken was on land, could cast several level 3 spels as ablities, eschewing both ma enals and somatic components and dd 3d 10+35 dama e per swing? That's what it was o fi ting this monster tall you if we hadnt undered an a nazng amount a gold from each of the hideouts de to 植fiat 1n treasure eneration, we wo dn't have stood a chance. As t was, we were getting pummeled, and we needed to end it tast. So T passes me a note. I look at him, and solemnly nod my head 220014875 DM: Anon, the round passes to you. What are your actions? T 1jest want ye to know, twas the greatest honor I ever knew 5ghtin slongside ye Me: I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I see them welling up in Urist's too. I hand him my Portable Hale, and he takes out his Bag of Halding T "Now toss me, you sodding moron, one last time I rolled. I wish I could say it was a natural twenty, because by Kord, Urist deserved t. But it wasnt. It was a nineteen. With my strength modider, and the feat from Complete Warrior that lets you toss things better, that added up to a 31 Ma: I spin Urist around, tears streaming down my face into my beard as I do so, and toss him into the gaping maw af the Unnamad Ona DM T, the round passes to you. You take 23 points of crushing damage and 47 points of acid damage, which brings you to three HP The DM looks at us, then at his notes, then leans back in his chai DM A portal opens up, sucking you and the Unnamed One into the Astral Plane ]回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)04 11 No20014937 I'] 22200149矼2220020012 20014905 We all passed our strength checks to avoid being sucked through, miraculously. Everyone was quiet for a few minutes after that. The DM looked as if he was cycing between pure, unadukerated fury and helpless adoration at the defeat of his EBEG. J just loolked sulen; he wanted us to die with him, not defeat the monster in such an epic way The town buit a statue to men a ze Unst or his sacrifce. To this day, the township and the other party members like to think he's on some better plane. one with lots of booze and fi ting. I know better thou because as turned out he was But, ike I said before, that's a story for another day](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/822/391/e36.png)
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Anon's terrible character
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![□ Anonymous 1 hour ago No 97329795 [r] 22973296丛2297330224 There are only two ways to beat the monster lord and her daughters; either to have godlike self restraint or to out-f--- them. Anonymous 54 mmutes ago No 9733022시 ▼)2297330281 >>97330424 2297330446 2297330613 >>97330525 22973305盟2297330654 2297330734 They need to send in someone with harem-MC-tier denseness/innocence, so when they try to make a move on him he wont catch on >"EXCUSE ME, I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM Lilim No you fool, you need to dig deeper. You need to go f------ simple shonen protagonist dense ! Anonymous 47 mrutes ago No 97330525 [▼] 22973306 image ing (10 KB, 186x139) google indb 2297330734 an anime about a dense MC who faces the demon lord all the monsters fall for him because he's the only one that can resist cant □ Anonymous 36 minutes ago No 97331042 [r] >297331090 >>97331201 2297331426 Yes your tail is indeed quite fluffy, but what does this have to do with the task at hand? > You're a level 3 paladin of Pelor. You literally have an aura of chasteness You are given a missive from the high priest, instructing you to slay a terrible demoness s It does not take long to send you to her realm. In fact it's rather too easy for your ling You're contronted by a daughter of the demon lord himself She invites you inside, giggling while licking her fingers > You puff out your chest and proclaim your purpose > You tell her you don't follow, and she facepaims "SEX. Sex. You and I. Were going to have it > She begins slamming her head on a nearby wall BECAUSE THAT IS WHY YOU WERE SENT HERE "Well there's that lovely gentleman standing behind yo. Oh..well maybe you'll find the right guy for you some day > "They sent YOU on purpose. oint they? Just to drive me insane?" "BECAUSE CLEARLY, NO ONE ELSE IS AS DENSE AS A NEUTRON STAR Do you even know who I am? WHAT I am? □ Anonymous 17 minutes ago No 9733 1600 [r] 2297331752 2297331758 1319491799170 gif (1.77 MB, 300x174) gogle indh Dad chimes in from the background, "Hey Angry, Im dad. □ Anonymous 12 minutes ago No 97331752 [▼] 2297331793 2297332064 The paladin and her father are the two densest men to ever exist Become fast friends and empathize with how hard it is to understand what these monster girls want Anonymous 3 minutes ago No 97332064 [▼1 2297332134 2297332152 2297332151 22973321 > To be honest, Im still kinda confused how I ended up with daughters in the first place "YOU HAD SEX WITH MOM. THREE TIMES! ONCE FOR EACH OF US! s Sorry son, cant say Iam. Say, have I shown you my trophy collection yet?" She runs off, Demon Lord and Paladin go tour the house > t's himl He's the one who wont have sex with me!" > 거oney. I dont think you quite understand The only way was able to have sex with your father was by distracting him with a piece of bacon. f that man is ust as dense. you're never gong to get any Tm sure it'll all work out sweetie. Now calm down before you blow another hole in reality She strips naked, then bounds up to the Paladin s He double takes, then averts his eyes while offering out his cloak > Honey, what in the world are you doing? I's not bath time for another hour > "You know, Sir, perhaps such impure thoughts have made her feel unclean > 1 think you're on to something here. Go take a bath honey BONUS Tll drip honey all aver you, and lick it off slowly >"Do you need a plate or a bowl or something? Honey is pretty sticky、It would be a lot easier that way. I could also make warnor Beegris see Warrior Beegirls take him captive and take him to their queen and assume the MC caused it □ Anonymous 9 hours ago No. 97333057 [▼] 2297333394 Warrior beegiril tries to By him to the queen, but is weighed down because the guy's head is denser than gold >Drags him along while he complains about how his armor is being scuffed up by the rough cave floor Head leaving a rut in the ground as this happens Finally plopped in front of the queen beegirl: warrior beegirl goes to wash herself of the stupidity >Really? Do you have any board games lying around? Those are a lot of fun to play. Ill wam you, though-Ive never lost a game of Scrabble in my entire Minutes later a thundering scream from the inner sanctum of the hive is heard from miles away □ Anonymous 9 hours ago No 97333394 [▼] 2297333944 Tumbles out of the beehive as it falls into chaos, manages to catch fire, etc a group of flower type monstergirls gather around him as he casualy strolls out >"Thank you for freeing us from those oppressive bees, hero. You'l be rewarded "Oh cool, do you have any sunscreen? Sun's pretty bright today and I've got a None? Damn, I guess I could use some new boots, these ones are getting pretty wom out](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/822/375/9e7.png)
![□ Anonymous 1 hour ago No 97329795 [r] 22973296丛2297330224 There are only two ways to beat the monster lord and her daughters; either to have godlike self restraint or to out-f--- them. Anonymous 54 mmutes ago No 9733022시 ▼)2297330281 >>97330424 2297330446 2297330613 >>97330525 22973305盟2297330654 2297330734 They need to send in someone with harem-MC-tier denseness/innocence, so when they try to make a move on him he wont catch on >"EXCUSE ME, I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM Lilim No you fool, you need to dig deeper. You need to go f------ simple shonen protagonist dense ! Anonymous 47 mrutes ago No 97330525 [▼] 22973306 image ing (10 KB, 186x139) google indb 2297330734 an anime about a dense MC who faces the demon lord all the monsters fall for him because he's the only one that can resist cant □ Anonymous 36 minutes ago No 97331042 [r] >297331090 >>97331201 2297331426 Yes your tail is indeed quite fluffy, but what does this have to do with the task at hand? > You're a level 3 paladin of Pelor. You literally have an aura of chasteness You are given a missive from the high priest, instructing you to slay a terrible demoness s It does not take long to send you to her realm. In fact it's rather too easy for your ling You're contronted by a daughter of the demon lord himself She invites you inside, giggling while licking her fingers > You puff out your chest and proclaim your purpose > You tell her you don't follow, and she facepaims "SEX. Sex. You and I. Were going to have it > She begins slamming her head on a nearby wall BECAUSE THAT IS WHY YOU WERE SENT HERE "Well there's that lovely gentleman standing behind yo. Oh..well maybe you'll find the right guy for you some day > "They sent YOU on purpose. oint they? Just to drive me insane?" "BECAUSE CLEARLY, NO ONE ELSE IS AS DENSE AS A NEUTRON STAR Do you even know who I am? WHAT I am? □ Anonymous 17 minutes ago No 9733 1600 [r] 2297331752 2297331758 1319491799170 gif (1.77 MB, 300x174) gogle indh Dad chimes in from the background, "Hey Angry, Im dad. □ Anonymous 12 minutes ago No 97331752 [▼] 2297331793 2297332064 The paladin and her father are the two densest men to ever exist Become fast friends and empathize with how hard it is to understand what these monster girls want Anonymous 3 minutes ago No 97332064 [▼1 2297332134 2297332152 2297332151 22973321 > To be honest, Im still kinda confused how I ended up with daughters in the first place "YOU HAD SEX WITH MOM. THREE TIMES! ONCE FOR EACH OF US! s Sorry son, cant say Iam. Say, have I shown you my trophy collection yet?" She runs off, Demon Lord and Paladin go tour the house > t's himl He's the one who wont have sex with me!" > 거oney. I dont think you quite understand The only way was able to have sex with your father was by distracting him with a piece of bacon. f that man is ust as dense. you're never gong to get any Tm sure it'll all work out sweetie. Now calm down before you blow another hole in reality She strips naked, then bounds up to the Paladin s He double takes, then averts his eyes while offering out his cloak > Honey, what in the world are you doing? I's not bath time for another hour > "You know, Sir, perhaps such impure thoughts have made her feel unclean > 1 think you're on to something here. Go take a bath honey BONUS Tll drip honey all aver you, and lick it off slowly >"Do you need a plate or a bowl or something? Honey is pretty sticky、It would be a lot easier that way. I could also make warnor Beegris see Warrior Beegirls take him captive and take him to their queen and assume the MC caused it □ Anonymous 9 hours ago No. 97333057 [▼] 2297333394 Warrior beegiril tries to By him to the queen, but is weighed down because the guy's head is denser than gold >Drags him along while he complains about how his armor is being scuffed up by the rough cave floor Head leaving a rut in the ground as this happens Finally plopped in front of the queen beegirl: warrior beegirl goes to wash herself of the stupidity >Really? Do you have any board games lying around? Those are a lot of fun to play. Ill wam you, though-Ive never lost a game of Scrabble in my entire Minutes later a thundering scream from the inner sanctum of the hive is heard from miles away □ Anonymous 9 hours ago No 97333394 [▼] 2297333944 Tumbles out of the beehive as it falls into chaos, manages to catch fire, etc a group of flower type monstergirls gather around him as he casualy strolls out >"Thank you for freeing us from those oppressive bees, hero. You'l be rewarded "Oh cool, do you have any sunscreen? Sun's pretty bright today and I've got a None? Damn, I guess I could use some new boots, these ones are getting pretty wom out](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/822/375/9e7.png)
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That pun though...
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/tg/ discuss necromancers
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The plane of infitinite dick punching
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![□ Anonymous 07/29/12(Sun)15:49 No.2009 1587 [r] >>2009 1614 >>20091617 >>20091620 >>2009 1634 >>20091642 >>20091643 >-20091686 >>2009 1843 >>2009 1876 milwaukee-sawzall-blades-2.ipg (29 KB, 300x300) igdb google /tg/, this thread disturbs me because l used to work in a hospital. And yes, people come in every once in a while to get really weird stuff removed from their ass. You don't want to know most of it. But one of the worst ones? 47 of these f------ things. Please stop shoving stuff up your ass. Physicians are sick of removing it. Our science requires us to remove the stuff your science demands you shove up your ass. Think of your doctor, /tg/. Think of your doctor.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/822/163/6cf.png){kind=small}
![□ Anonymous 07/29/12(Sun)15:49 No.2009 1587 [r] >>2009 1614 >>20091617 >>20091620 >>2009 1634 >>20091642 >>20091643 >-20091686 >>2009 1843 >>2009 1876 milwaukee-sawzall-blades-2.ipg (29 KB, 300x300) igdb google /tg/, this thread disturbs me because l used to work in a hospital. And yes, people come in every once in a while to get really weird stuff removed from their ass. You don't want to know most of it. But one of the worst ones? 47 of these f------ things. Please stop shoving stuff up your ass. Physicians are sick of removing it. Our science requires us to remove the stuff your science demands you shove up your ass. Think of your doctor, /tg/. Think of your doctor.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/822/163/6cf.png){kind=small}
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I know it seems like a long read, but it's worth it. 1/7
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2/7
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