-
Finding Out That Your 'Outie' Likes Cringe Stuff Is The Most Gut-Wrenching 'Wellness Check' Moment -
Three Years Ago, These Chinese Monkeys Took Over Everyone's Feeds For A While -
'Chub Perm' Is The Leader Of The MDFoodieBoyz, A Podcast About Food From Kids Who Don't Eat Vegetables -
Artist Behind 'Planet Of The Bass' New Parody Song 'We Will Never Die' Is Infuriating TikTokers -
TikTokers Are Discovering What 'Gleeking', And Its A Perfect Party Trick, Just Not For Every Party
+20
The tale of Thragmarr the barbarian, part 2.
Uploaded by Nithilus Sep 02, 2014 at 10:32PM EDT
4chan bros d&d campaign barbarian thragmarr /tg
Origin Entry: 4chan
File type: jpg
Resolution: (1568px x 3282px)
File size: 474 KB
![⠀ Anonymous (ID: VMADXFCK) [+] >>461130422 (OP) # 03/08/24(Fri)17:10:27 No.461130566 will his casket lowering into the ground take f------ 5 episodes? >>461130762 # >>461132185 # >>461134825 # >>461136814 # >>461142984 # >>461148773 # >>461149781 # >>461149843 # >>461150715 # >>461152091 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/774/314/7a1.jpeg "Anon attends Akira Toriyama's funeral")
Moar:
![| mwing (13 KB, 250x265) idh googs tg 껀 Anonymous 07124/12mue)01:01 No 20013482]'] Alright, since I didnt see one, its time for an awesome games thread DM: Okay guys, time to start the game. What are you guys playing? Friend. Im playing a dwarven barbarian. He liked booze a little too much and got kicked out of his mountainhome Me: Well, ah, Ialso rolled up a barbarian. He's a human though, who's lived in the shadow of the same mountain his entire life but never knew there were dwarves there. That's how me and Friend 1 met OM Okay. DM. Huh, okay. I guess we can make it work. And what about you guys? sounds good. How about you 3 and 4 all Friend 3 Wel、uh、we all rolled barbanans too The DM looks at all of us, then rites through his notes for the next couple of sessions and throws away about hall of t campaign Anonymous 07/24/12(Tuel01 22 No 20013638 1 ▼ ] 20013w§ >>20015049 since you guys asked. nI start with a bit of These guys have been my friends for a long time now. They were the frst peaple I ever played D&D with, and i had been quite some time since rd roleplayed with them. So, when my friend who had usualy been a player suggested we all try and play There are six of us, including the DM. Me, who will be Anon for the purposes of this story, Friend 1, who shall be J, Friend 2, who shall be T, Friend 3, who shall be G, and Friend 4, who shall be M Now, I was usually the ona to play the DEX characters, roguas, rangers and the lke, so I saw this game as a chance to change up my playing style. However, we're all pretty tucking bad at communication and were pretty busy peopla, so we didnt realy talk about the kind of characters we wold be playing |ロAnonymous 07/24/12Tue101 35 No 20013745 [*) >>20013704 2220013775 2220013824 >>20013946 So the day finally roiled around we all show up on time with our dice and our character sheats and take our seats around the table. Ater the shock of the intial realzation, we laugh it off and stat playing OM So the fi of you are seated across form the Adjudicator of the city. He gazes balefully at you . J: Im sorry, but my character's NT score is 7. What do those words mean? DM: Adjudic-ator is man who make law Balefuly is angnily M:shufing a sheaf of papers between his hands. Looking at you again balef.er, angnly, he tells you that there are a number of criminals that need to be apprehended He stands up and hands you the ist The DM gives me a handwritten list of names, descriptions, reasons for warrant, and bounty amounts.I turn it over in my hands, staning intently at the paper from all angles, then turn to the DM Me.. .Thragmam cant read giggle again. The DM sighs 1 Anonymous 07/24/12 Tue 01 58 No 20013946 [ 222001424 2220014609 G. My character can. He has an INT score of 12 G: It's trua His name is Ser Grogg, Esquire. He's a nobleman... of sorts DM IREALLY should have looked aver your characters beforehand, but all right Continue. G proceeds to read out the list of criminals while we listen, completely enraptured by his ability to read, which is a foreign concept to all of our characters. After a bet of bickering. we decide the first person we're going to track down is a horse thief who's Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue02 24 No 20014240 [▼1-20014514 >>20014602 Sorry this is taking so long. Tm weting from memory and Tm not the astest typer Fast forwarding a bit. Ater a ong ride out to the hideout of the horse thier, during wtich we praised Grogg& lot for his 8stounding sbiity to read, we Snaly get to the cave system he'd been using (a latle cliched,I know, but the DM is a fan of such things). We dismount, and after a few minutes of planning, decide that we're going to try and sneak up to the entrance DM Wel, the thief has a couple of semries posted M Okay guys, I have an idea. Let's disguise one of us as a tree and sneak up on them. idea M roils a disguise check, and we assist him, giving him a +4 to disguise himsef as a tree. He rolls a 13, which gives him a 17 to the roll, making it a success. His rall to sneak, hawever, is another story, he rols a 6, which takes a 2 because he's disguised DM. The sentries notice you We all look at M ike he's gone bananas. J: You said you were a barbarianl Ha than proceeds to tel us how his barbarian pulls out his arcane-carved stick, wave it around chanting nonsense for a few seconds, then point it at the two guards, shouting "SLEEP NOWT Both M's barbarian and the guards are perplaxed, the barbarian because he doesnt know why the spell didn't work, and the guards because they don't know what the f--- is happening So Ms barbanan dd the only thing a barbanan would possibly do in th硝stuatan get frustrated and bash m over the head with his "wzard staff knocking them out cold I wasnt realy expecting to storytime, I was just making a cool games thread We love this tum of events, and even the DM cracks a grin at the creative roleplaying We decide that there's no reason for us to even attempt to sneak around inside the hideout, and instead opt to break down the door We cleave and bash our way through plenty of baddies, eventualy reaching the chambers of the horse thief DM: His chambers ane draped in all sorts of cloth and chains, with arcane scrawls adoming the wals. There are boolics everywhere, and atop a tall pedestal a skull wth a pentagram on the forehead glares down at you with a malevolent air He proceeds to read off s long, impressive speech by the horse thie about the coming of the end of all things. After patiently waiting it out, we initiste combat, quickly kiling the fragile NPC, and hack of his head and thumbs T: Okay, let's get out of here DM But don't you want to look und some more? G: We already gat everything af value out of this place, let's just take af Me: Dude, we're f------ barbarians. What the hell are we going to do with books? Anonymous 07/24/120Tue)03 06 No 200146141 ▼] >2200146苴>220014631 The DM hufts, but cant realy do anything to stop us since he abhors ralroadng. So we stnike back out towards the town, savered head and thumbs dangling in a sack off the side of the horse Over the course of the game, which unfortunately only lasted about a two dozen or so sessions due to college getting in the way and respective jobs imiting our time, we collect each of these outlaws, and each time they have a pretty similar setup going on a seemingy mundane criminal in possession of a great deal of magical tems. And, each tima without tal, our simplig minds would miss out on the connection, get distracted by shiny things and other macguftns, and fal to notity anyone of import But, I have to tell you, t was a hell of a ride The dwart was tossed on mutiple occasions, and in one instance ended up inside the guts of a giant. He proceedad to hack is way up through his body, cut the heart out of it, and burst out of his chest, screeching then take a tremendous bte out of the stil-beating organ. We were all a bt more atsid of him sher that. Probably my finest moment in combst roiling occurred during this campsign, too, we were fighting a group of Greater Barghests, and had just been disarmed. Not about to lay down and let these things eat my face, I rolled a 19 on a Strength check to grab the nearest one by the tail and swing it about, bashing the other Barghests into the negatives.I wasnt content with just that, though; thare was still one standing ater that, so I rolled a motharfucking nat 20 and, in a scene straight out of Dort Fot, tossed the Barghest theough the other Barghest But I Despite our best efforts to continue meeting the time finally came when our boisterous group of brawny barbarians was to disband. We'd proven our worth a hundred times over to the townspeople, so they were awarding each of us with a small parcel of Ser Grogg would fnally be a real lord, with real peasants and real holdings, and Urist Meadbeard the dwarf could have his very own, genuine dwarven tavem to destroy every night in a drunken rage and build back up again in the moming. Theagmar was not content to settle down, so he planned to sell the land, get an even bigger axe with the money, and find the legendary plane of Ysgard, where he could fight, drink, and wench far all eternity. He eventually got there, but that's another game entirely. Rolf became the most tamous Muscle Wizard in the land, and planned to use his gold, land, and influance to start a school for his unique brand of magic But fate, the DM, and our good tend J. had other plans 352 KB, 1062x706) idb g9g 20014681 His grin was absolutely malicious as he sat behind his screen and descibed the calamity that befell us as we were awarded our holdings. It was as if he'd finally found a way to get back at us for derailing his campaign so completely so spectacularly, that there was no way in hell he was going to finish it the way he'd planned to So he decided to try and do the next be轼thing Ka al of our character What it boiled down to was this Each of the outlaws had been part of the same malevolent cuit seeking to resurrect a forgotten beast which slumbered beneath the township. Its name had been lost to the ages, but pictures had M sun ed, and some ht bulb decided he wanted to see this th firsthand Fortun ely for us, the cult sts had mucked up their spels without being able to Sgure out how to get the spell to acti ate u ortunately for us, behid our backs J and the had conspired to make J the final piece of the puzzle, which would swaken the slumbering monster and (hopefully) kill us al DM: As you stand atop the stage, cheenng throngs of townspeople all around you, you're all suddenly jostled out of tha way UI shove the party aside and toss the mayor a ay from the pedestal下0 s! You co ne here on this day fo celebration B 시 a heart, falling here to tel you that this day he alds your doo r with those words da " y longs or and pl nge it through my own Our f------ faces when s 07/24/12(Tue)03 40 No 20014776 [ 2220014796 222001487s 2220014 1 341755551419-34176Lu凶(23 KB. 414x356) Ladb gooule DM The gound quakes and be ns t ng apart a great groaning and ashing a teeth nging upfrom the crack ng earth wo hundred yards away, a tre section of the town disappears sliding beneath the ground as something massive stirs. Moments later, from within the bowels of the earth, the Uenamed One rises, Rs many tentacles whipping about its head in a bloody frenzy as its eons-long slumber inaly ends. The townspeople scream and panic running in every direction in their primal fear Women and children scream and cry, the old and weak are trampled underfoot, and men go mad at the sight of such a monstrosity t opens its seven gaping maws, looses a mighty roar you Again, our tucking faces when 1回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)03 59 No 20014875 [リー20014300 >>20014905 20014776 We all rol reasonably well I gat a 16, M gats a 15, G gats a 19, and T rolls a 13 Unfortunately, the DM knew we'd do fairly well on our initiatives, so to counteract the penalty to intiative that Massive creatures take, he stacked Improved Initiative on the monster something like five times, and it went first. Luckily, he gave us this ound to prepare, as it would take at least two turns for the beast to get over to where we were. We want into a quick huddla, made our plan, and stood our ground against the charge Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be beset upon by a kraken, when you're armed only with a greatsword of magic power and dubious origin? How about f that kraken was on land, could cast several level 3 spels as ablities, eschewing both ma enals and somatic components and dd 3d 10+35 dama e per swing? That's what it was o fi ting this monster tall you if we hadnt undered an a nazng amount a gold from each of the hideouts de to 植fiat 1n treasure eneration, we wo dn't have stood a chance. As t was, we were getting pummeled, and we needed to end it tast. So T passes me a note. I look at him, and solemnly nod my head 220014875 DM: Anon, the round passes to you. What are your actions? T 1jest want ye to know, twas the greatest honor I ever knew 5ghtin slongside ye Me: I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I see them welling up in Urist's too. I hand him my Portable Hale, and he takes out his Bag of Halding T "Now toss me, you sodding moron, one last time I rolled. I wish I could say it was a natural twenty, because by Kord, Urist deserved t. But it wasnt. It was a nineteen. With my strength modider, and the feat from Complete Warrior that lets you toss things better, that added up to a 31 Ma: I spin Urist around, tears streaming down my face into my beard as I do so, and toss him into the gaping maw af the Unnamad Ona DM T, the round passes to you. You take 23 points of crushing damage and 47 points of acid damage, which brings you to three HP The DM looks at us, then at his notes, then leans back in his chai DM A portal opens up, sucking you and the Unnamed One into the Astral Plane ]回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)04 11 No20014937 I'] 22200149矼2220020012 20014905 We all passed our strength checks to avoid being sucked through, miraculously. Everyone was quiet for a few minutes after that. The DM looked as if he was cycing between pure, unadukerated fury and helpless adoration at the defeat of his EBEG. J just loolked sulen; he wanted us to die with him, not defeat the monster in such an epic way The town buit a statue to men a ze Unst or his sacrifce. To this day, the township and the other party members like to think he's on some better plane. one with lots of booze and fi ting. I know better thou because as turned out he was But, ike I said before, that's a story for another day](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/822/391/e36.png "e36.png")
![□ Anonymous 1 hour ago No 97329795 [r] 22973296丛2297330224 There are only two ways to beat the monster lord and her daughters; either to have godlike self restraint or to out-f--- them. Anonymous 54 mmutes ago No 9733022시 ▼)2297330281 >>97330424 2297330446 2297330613 >>97330525 22973305盟2297330654 2297330734 They need to send in someone with harem-MC-tier denseness/innocence, so when they try to make a move on him he wont catch on >"EXCUSE ME, I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM Lilim No you fool, you need to dig deeper. You need to go f------ simple shonen protagonist dense ! Anonymous 47 mrutes ago No 97330525 [▼] 22973306 image ing (10 KB, 186x139) google indb 2297330734 an anime about a dense MC who faces the demon lord all the monsters fall for him because he's the only one that can resist cant □ Anonymous 36 minutes ago No 97331042 [r] >297331090 >>97331201 2297331426 Yes your tail is indeed quite fluffy, but what does this have to do with the task at hand? > You're a level 3 paladin of Pelor. You literally have an aura of chasteness You are given a missive from the high priest, instructing you to slay a terrible demoness s It does not take long to send you to her realm. In fact it's rather too easy for your ling You're contronted by a daughter of the demon lord himself She invites you inside, giggling while licking her fingers > You puff out your chest and proclaim your purpose > You tell her you don't follow, and she facepaims "SEX. Sex. You and I. Were going to have it > She begins slamming her head on a nearby wall BECAUSE THAT IS WHY YOU WERE SENT HERE "Well there's that lovely gentleman standing behind yo. Oh..well maybe you'll find the right guy for you some day > "They sent YOU on purpose. oint they? Just to drive me insane?" "BECAUSE CLEARLY, NO ONE ELSE IS AS DENSE AS A NEUTRON STAR Do you even know who I am? WHAT I am? □ Anonymous 17 minutes ago No 9733 1600 [r] 2297331752 2297331758 1319491799170 gif (1.77 MB, 300x174) gogle indh Dad chimes in from the background, "Hey Angry, Im dad. □ Anonymous 12 minutes ago No 97331752 [▼] 2297331793 2297332064 The paladin and her father are the two densest men to ever exist Become fast friends and empathize with how hard it is to understand what these monster girls want Anonymous 3 minutes ago No 97332064 [▼1 2297332134 2297332152 2297332151 22973321 > To be honest, Im still kinda confused how I ended up with daughters in the first place "YOU HAD SEX WITH MOM. THREE TIMES! ONCE FOR EACH OF US! s Sorry son, cant say Iam. Say, have I shown you my trophy collection yet?" She runs off, Demon Lord and Paladin go tour the house > t's himl He's the one who wont have sex with me!" > 거oney. I dont think you quite understand The only way was able to have sex with your father was by distracting him with a piece of bacon. f that man is ust as dense. you're never gong to get any Tm sure it'll all work out sweetie. Now calm down before you blow another hole in reality She strips naked, then bounds up to the Paladin s He double takes, then averts his eyes while offering out his cloak > Honey, what in the world are you doing? I's not bath time for another hour > "You know, Sir, perhaps such impure thoughts have made her feel unclean > 1 think you're on to something here. Go take a bath honey BONUS Tll drip honey all aver you, and lick it off slowly >"Do you need a plate or a bowl or something? Honey is pretty sticky、It would be a lot easier that way. I could also make warnor Beegris see Warrior Beegirls take him captive and take him to their queen and assume the MC caused it □ Anonymous 9 hours ago No. 97333057 [▼] 2297333394 Warrior beegiril tries to By him to the queen, but is weighed down because the guy's head is denser than gold >Drags him along while he complains about how his armor is being scuffed up by the rough cave floor Head leaving a rut in the ground as this happens Finally plopped in front of the queen beegirl: warrior beegirl goes to wash herself of the stupidity >Really? Do you have any board games lying around? Those are a lot of fun to play. Ill wam you, though-Ive never lost a game of Scrabble in my entire Minutes later a thundering scream from the inner sanctum of the hive is heard from miles away □ Anonymous 9 hours ago No 97333394 [▼] 2297333944 Tumbles out of the beehive as it falls into chaos, manages to catch fire, etc a group of flower type monstergirls gather around him as he casualy strolls out >"Thank you for freeing us from those oppressive bees, hero. You'l be rewarded "Oh cool, do you have any sunscreen? Sun's pretty bright today and I've got a None? Damn, I guess I could use some new boots, these ones are getting pretty wom out](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/822/375/9e7.png "9e7.png")
+20
4chan - The tale of Thragmarr the barbarian, part 2.
| ◄ Previous | View Gallery Random Image | Next ► |
![File 1169870637 ipg-(3 KB, 150x150) 01/26/07(Fri)23:03:57 No.19683 185 [Reply] Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one imme diately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A. along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand toumament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. >>「01/26/07(Fri)23:05:29 No.19683269 I LOVE YOU >>「01/26/07(Fri)23:06:52 No. 19683341](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/000/480/596/467.jpg "467.jpg")
Comments (3)
Add a Comment
Image Details
3,451 views (7 from today)
Uploaded Sep 02, 2014 at 10:32PM EDT
Origin Entry
About the Uploader
Nithilus
Pundit
