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Anon on slenderman. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.24 MB PNG 10/20/23(Fri)06:52:37 No.75120815 >This made millennials s--- their pants in fear in 2012
: Anonymous 1.24 MB PNG 10/20/23(Fri)06:52:37 No.75120815 >This made millennials s--- their pants in fear in 2012

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Anon is profound | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: r3760.jpg (362 KB, 2048x2048) [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Anonymous 08/30/23 (Wed)12:18:19 No.905239535 >Be me. >Take an IQ test. >The results come back. >Profound mental retardation. MFW I'm profound. [Post a Reply] [Advertise on 4chan]
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: r3760.jpg (362 KB, 2048x2048) [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Anonymous 08/30/23 (Wed)12:18:19 No.905239535 >Be me. >Take an IQ test. >The results come back. >Profound mental retardation. MFW I'm profound. [Post a Reply] [Advertise on 4chan]

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Anon loves kebab | /r/Greentext

145 KB JPG >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people
145 KB JPG >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

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anon concludes that traps are not gay | /r/Greentext

File: 20co4k.jpg (67 KB, 702x813) Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)22:41:55 No.814985354 ► >>81 >be me >have doubts about sexuality >watch serious amount of trap hentai >wondering about if traps are really gay >think out a test >if liking traps make me gay, then i must also like gay p--- >bigbrain.png >go on gay section of pornhub >watch 3 videos in a row >not even a boner >mfw I confirmed that traps doesnt make you gay Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)22:50:21 No.814985675 >>814985354 (OP) F------ f-----
File: 20co4k.jpg (67 KB, 702x813) Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)22:41:55 No.814985354 ► >>81 >be me >have doubts about sexuality >watch serious amount of trap hentai >wondering about if traps are really gay >think out a test >if liking traps make me gay, then i must also like gay p--- >bigbrain.png >go on gay section of pornhub >watch 3 videos in a row >not even a boner >mfw I confirmed that traps doesnt make you gay Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)22:50:21 No.814985675 >>814985354 (OP) F------ f-----

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Anon the Conquerer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (bjTRRVWW) What's stopping us? 16h 10/16/23(Mon)13:45:56 No.445092333 newjersey.jpg 293 KB JPG New Jersey is roughly the same size and shape as Israel but without borders or iron dome defenses. What's stopping the rest of America from invading New Jersey Hamas style and making it part of the United States? You don't even need gliders to get in!
: Anonymous (ID: (bjTRRVWW) What's stopping us? 16h 10/16/23(Mon)13:45:56 No.445092333 newjersey.jpg 293 KB JPG New Jersey is roughly the same size and shape as Israel but without borders or iron dome defenses. What's stopping the rest of America from invading New Jersey Hamas style and making it part of the United States? You don't even need gliders to get in!

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Anon is Jerry Seinfeld | /r/Greentext

Jerry Seinfeld_(character).jpg (25 KB, 282x351) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)00:05:38 No.75113938 >>75114000 >>75114405 >be me 10 years ago in high school >autistic but not too severely >have trouble starting conversations and making friends but don't act strangely or in a way that would make me stand out or be a target >start watching Seinfeld >realize Jerry Seinfeld is an extremely likeable and funny person >start to imitate Seinfeld's mannerisms and try to copy his personality a little but not overly so to where people would know what I'm doing >it works and people start to like me hang out with me etc... >have now been larping as Seinfeld for the past 10 years Thanks Jerry. Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)00:10:12 No.75113975 >>75114008 i think thats just called developing a personality. unless youre conscious of the fact youre larping as jerry seinfeld in which case hmm V
Jerry Seinfeld_(character).jpg (25 KB, 282x351) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)00:05:38 No.75113938 >>75114000 >>75114405 >be me 10 years ago in high school >autistic but not too severely >have trouble starting conversations and making friends but don't act strangely or in a way that would make me stand out or be a target >start watching Seinfeld >realize Jerry Seinfeld is an extremely likeable and funny person >start to imitate Seinfeld's mannerisms and try to copy his personality a little but not overly so to where people would know what I'm doing >it works and people start to like me hang out with me etc... >have now been larping as Seinfeld for the past 10 years Thanks Jerry. Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)00:10:12 No.75113975 >>75114008 i think thats just called developing a personality. unless youre conscious of the fact youre larping as jerry seinfeld in which case hmm V

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Might as well give up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 10/18/23(Wed)17:53:36 No.29983622 >turn 26 today >will take 5 years to get a good physique >will take 5 years to get a valuable degree >will take 10 years to get a well-paying job >will take 10 years to be able to afford a home >will take 10 years to get your first date with a girl because you need everything else as a prerequisite >mfw too late to achieve all of the above without losing out on rest of my twenties Is there any hope for me anymore?
: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 10/18/23(Wed)17:53:36 No.29983622 >turn 26 today >will take 5 years to get a good physique >will take 5 years to get a valuable degree >will take 10 years to get a well-paying job >will take 10 years to be able to afford a home >will take 10 years to get your first date with a girl because you need everything else as a prerequisite >mfw too late to achieve all of the above without losing out on rest of my twenties Is there any hope for me anymore?

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I'm sure it tastes good anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 189 KB PNG 10/15/23(Sun)07:42:12 No.19801923 >post my mums cooking >get insulted >post my own cooking >get insulted Sick of it >>19813250 # : Anonymous >>19801923 (OP) # I've seen worse don't worry Keep at it it just takes practice 10/15/23(Sun)07:43:13 No.19801927
: Anonymous 189 KB PNG 10/15/23(Sun)07:42:12 No.19801923 >post my mums cooking >get insulted >post my own cooking >get insulted Sick of it >>19813250 # : Anonymous >>19801923 (OP) # I've seen worse don't worry Keep at it it just takes practice 10/15/23(Sun)07:43:13 No.19801927

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Anon is concerned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: qSOAqe3s) HUH? 86 KB JPG 10/20/23(Fri)00:37:06 No.445495781 >be muslim in europe >enjoy a comfortable peaceful life >protest for my palestinian brothers >happy to see so many white people on our side >but wait... why are white people on our side? >they want the jews wiped so they can kick us out and prevent more muslims from coming into their countries >don't want to go back to my b------ muslim country Huh? What side should I be on
: Anonymous (ID: qSOAqe3s) HUH? 86 KB JPG 10/20/23(Fri)00:37:06 No.445495781 >be muslim in europe >enjoy a comfortable peaceful life >protest for my palestinian brothers >happy to see so many white people on our side >but wait... why are white people on our side? >they want the jews wiped so they can kick us out and prevent more muslims from coming into their countries >don't want to go back to my b------ muslim country Huh? What side should I be on

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The piss jugs. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The piss jugs. 52 KB PNG 10/19/23(Thu)09:06:45 No.907927738 >Have social anxiety. >Hate leaving my room. >Mom frequently brings friends over & I have to walk past them to get water or use the restroom. >Start storing designated piss cans in my room in case of these types of emergencies. >Start storing extra water in my room for proper hydration. >Family also runs through a lot of coffee, instead of throwing out the big metal air tight coffee tins, I store them in my room as future designated piss cans. >Don't have to worry about holding in my piss anymore or saying high to strangers & having them judge me for my incredibly small penis. Social anxiety - 1 Everyone else - 0
Anonymous The piss jugs. 52 KB PNG 10/19/23(Thu)09:06:45 No.907927738 >Have social anxiety. >Hate leaving my room. >Mom frequently brings friends over & I have to walk past them to get water or use the restroom. >Start storing designated piss cans in my room in case of these types of emergencies. >Start storing extra water in my room for proper hydration. >Family also runs through a lot of coffee, instead of throwing out the big metal air tight coffee tins, I store them in my room as future designated piss cans. >Don't have to worry about holding in my piss anymore or saying high to strangers & having them judge me for my incredibly small penis. Social anxiety - 1 Everyone else - 0

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anon goes to a sauna | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)04:46:55 No.789041031 81 KB JPG >>789040293 >be me >living in Korea >girlfriend wants to take me to jimjibang in Seoul >sounds boring but whatever >check in with her, get locker keys and sauna clothes, then off to changing rooms >in male changing room, lots of dudes walking around butt ass naked >strip out of my clothes, about to change into sauna clothes when naked shota walks by with his dad >sees my package, eyes grow wide, he taps his dad on the arm and points at my while saying something in Korean >Dad gets angry and yells at kid while pulling him away >While being led away, kid looks at me and says in broken English, "very big, good job" while giving a thumbs-up >MFW
Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)04:46:55 No.789041031 81 KB JPG >>789040293 >be me >living in Korea >girlfriend wants to take me to jimjibang in Seoul >sounds boring but whatever >check in with her, get locker keys and sauna clothes, then off to changing rooms >in male changing room, lots of dudes walking around butt ass naked >strip out of my clothes, about to change into sauna clothes when naked shota walks by with his dad >sees my package, eyes grow wide, he taps his dad on the arm and points at my while saying something in Korean >Dad gets angry and yells at kid while pulling him away >While being led away, kid looks at me and says in broken English, "very big, good job" while giving a thumbs-up >MFW

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Anon on 2023. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2023 HAPPY NEW YEAR! 259 KB JPG 10/19/23(Thu)23:27:42 No.75116805 >2023 >As much world conflict as ever >Normal human contact gone >1/3 men don't have sex >Everybody into extremist left/right ideologies >Everybody addicted to technology >Al making even the fabric of reality debatable >All artistic pursuits replaced within 10 years >Companies have your entire life history >Wealth inequality greater than ever >1 trillion invested in a ponzi scheme that uses resources to create imaginary currency Who else thought the future would be better?
: Anonymous 2023 HAPPY NEW YEAR! 259 KB JPG 10/19/23(Thu)23:27:42 No.75116805 >2023 >As much world conflict as ever >Normal human contact gone >1/3 men don't have sex >Everybody into extremist left/right ideologies >Everybody addicted to technology >Al making even the fabric of reality debatable >All artistic pursuits replaced within 10 years >Companies have your entire life history >Wealth inequality greater than ever >1 trillion invested in a ponzi scheme that uses resources to create imaginary currency Who else thought the future would be better?

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Anon isn't on Baywatch | /r/Greentext

Board /adv/ - Advice Anonymous Girl Called the Police on Me a(...) You're in her dms I'm on her block list. We are not the same. 856 KB JPG >be me >29 years old >work as lifeguard Settings Mobile Home 10/08/23(Sun)16:02:12 No.29917260 >constantly surrounded by hot Zoomers and it's driving me nuts >Talk to girls because everyone says that if you just talk to girls they'll like you >they brush me off and ignore me, treat me like I don't exist >get one girls number from the employee contact list >18 year old highschool student >message her asking if she wants to meet with me >she asks "who this is" >I say "you'll find out when you meet me" >keep talking but she keeps saying "who the f--- is this??" >I was 3 beers deep when I said this so maybe a mistake "the man who admires your sexy f------ ass everyday" >"oh really, that's so hot" she responds >ohshititworked.exe >"sent me a picture of your face, I'm horny and want something to get myself off" >I send her my selfie >she says "thanks lol" >called the cops on me and showed the selfie 11 Replies / 1 Image I was talked to my the police and fired from my job for this, the police say if I keep messaging her I can get arrested View Thread
Board /adv/ - Advice Anonymous Girl Called the Police on Me a(...) You're in her dms I'm on her block list. We are not the same. 856 KB JPG >be me >29 years old >work as lifeguard Settings Mobile Home 10/08/23(Sun)16:02:12 No.29917260 >constantly surrounded by hot Zoomers and it's driving me nuts >Talk to girls because everyone says that if you just talk to girls they'll like you >they brush me off and ignore me, treat me like I don't exist >get one girls number from the employee contact list >18 year old highschool student >message her asking if she wants to meet with me >she asks "who this is" >I say "you'll find out when you meet me" >keep talking but she keeps saying "who the f--- is this??" >I was 3 beers deep when I said this so maybe a mistake "the man who admires your sexy f------ ass everyday" >"oh really, that's so hot" she responds >ohshititworked.exe >"sent me a picture of your face, I'm horny and want something to get myself off" >I send her my selfie >she says "thanks lol" >called the cops on me and showed the selfie 11 Replies / 1 Image I was talked to my the police and fired from my job for this, the police say if I keep messaging her I can get arrested View Thread

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E = McD² proof | /r/Greentext

>Female Friend claims she can't lose weight despite eating like 1000 kcal below her TDEE >F------ jump in telling her it's for sure her Hormones 26 KB JPG >Tell her how it is, she's almost certainly eating more than she thinks >Mention a f------ meal she had a few days ago that by itself was at least 1.5k kcal >Now I'm the a------
>Female Friend claims she can't lose weight despite eating like 1000 kcal below her TDEE >F------ jump in telling her it's for sure her Hormones 26 KB JPG >Tell her how it is, she's almost certainly eating more than she thinks >Mention a f------ meal she had a few days ago that by itself was at least 1.5k kcal >Now I'm the a------

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Anon is tired of the internet | /r/Greentext

File: FA597155-E303-4B17-955F-3().jpg (206 KB, 900x873) Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)13:58:11 No.75115 [Reply] >use reddit >get banned by retarded mods constantly but they dont do anything about the trolls >use 4chan >nothing but p--- and garbage now >try to sign up for a forum and it requires a f------ application >get denied for using a vpn >entire internet full of women zoomers and normies now
File: FA597155-E303-4B17-955F-3().jpg (206 KB, 900x873) Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)13:58:11 No.75115 [Reply] >use reddit >get banned by retarded mods constantly but they dont do anything about the trolls >use 4chan >nothing but p--- and garbage now >try to sign up for a forum and it requires a f------ application >get denied for using a vpn >entire internet full of women zoomers and normies now

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Anon Gets a Haircut | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/18/23(Wed)19:20:28 No.191128205 >>191124052 # >only one hairsalon in my town >has a couple of cute girls working there 118 KB JPG >work up courage to get a haircut >everything goes fine, even manage to do some smalltalk without completely spilling spaghetti >suddenly some other girl that works there bursts trough the door crying >apparently one of their coworkers just died in an accident >all the girls working there start crying and comforting eachother >other customers excuse themselves, and leave the shop >tfw I sat in a chair for 60+ mins in a corner of the salon with a half shaven head, not knowing what to do, acting like I didn't hear the commotion, waiting for my hairstylist to return...
Anonymous 10/18/23(Wed)19:20:28 No.191128205 >>191124052 # >only one hairsalon in my town >has a couple of cute girls working there 118 KB JPG >work up courage to get a haircut >everything goes fine, even manage to do some smalltalk without completely spilling spaghetti >suddenly some other girl that works there bursts trough the door crying >apparently one of their coworkers just died in an accident >all the girls working there start crying and comforting eachother >other customers excuse themselves, and leave the shop >tfw I sat in a chair for 60+ mins in a corner of the salon with a half shaven head, not knowing what to do, acting like I didn't hear the commotion, waiting for my hairstylist to return...

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Anon doesn't like Angela Anaconda | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/02/18(Sat)21 27 36 No 10088572310000714212 File Angelamon.ang (174 KB, 476x334) ANGELA ANACONDA DIGINVOLVE TO ANGELAMON Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)19:55:16 No.100907187 >>100907497 >>100907802 >>100908080 >>100885723 This short caused my parent's divorce Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)20:51:57 No. 100908080 >>100907187 Ok you have my attention. How? Anonymous 06/04/18(Mon)00:17:14 No.100910965 >>100907497 >>100907802 >>100908080 Didn't know at the time that parents relationship was rocky >I beg to go see Digimon movie >Parents agree but I don't realize it's for them to spend some time together as well >Get to theater and excited about Digimon flick >Can even afford popcom and drinks >100910965 Parents look happy >Angela Anaconda short comes on >Parents also dont speak very good English >My lil boy mind can't comprehend all the f--- going on >Parents are utterly confused by this Canadian f--- running around in a Digimon suit I start crying and they pull me out of the theater >Mom and Dad start blaming each other for going to the wrong film >Dad throws away the popcorn Mom wanted >Lots of arguing and I'm sul crying >Get out to parking lot and drive off in a rush >Get into an accident in parking lot >Dad moves out a month later F------ bitch of a w---- Angela Anaconda ruined my life
Anonymous 05/02/18(Sat)21 27 36 No 10088572310000714212 File Angelamon.ang (174 KB, 476x334) ANGELA ANACONDA DIGINVOLVE TO ANGELAMON Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)19:55:16 No.100907187 >>100907497 >>100907802 >>100908080 >>100885723 This short caused my parent's divorce Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)20:51:57 No. 100908080 >>100907187 Ok you have my attention. How? Anonymous 06/04/18(Mon)00:17:14 No.100910965 >>100907497 >>100907802 >>100908080 Didn't know at the time that parents relationship was rocky >I beg to go see Digimon movie >Parents agree but I don't realize it's for them to spend some time together as well >Get to theater and excited about Digimon flick >Can even afford popcom and drinks >100910965 Parents look happy >Angela Anaconda short comes on >Parents also dont speak very good English >My lil boy mind can't comprehend all the f--- going on >Parents are utterly confused by this Canadian f--- running around in a Digimon suit I start crying and they pull me out of the theater >Mom and Dad start blaming each other for going to the wrong film >Dad throws away the popcorn Mom wanted >Lots of arguing and I'm sul crying >Get out to parking lot and drive off in a rush >Get into an accident in parking lot >Dad moves out a month later F------ bitch of a w---- Angela Anaconda ruined my life

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Flawless Parjeet victory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)04:56:40 No.188837175 1599883094015.png 53 KB PNG >did you know we beat your limey asses in the battle of chadaqooodoowaddick in 1672 did you know i don't give a f--- mate 10/19/23(Thu)04:58:09 No.188837238 : Anonymous >>188837175 (OP) # Then why did you make a thread about it? >>188837405 # >>188839274 # >>188839312 # >>188840198 # >>188840238 # >>188840387 # >>188840692 # >>188840757 # >>188841020 # >>188841065 # >>188843409 # >>188843426 # >>188843427 # >>188843437 # >>188843500 # >>188843512 # >>188843544 # >>188843642 # >>188843650 # >>188843971 #
: Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)04:56:40 No.188837175 1599883094015.png 53 KB PNG >did you know we beat your limey asses in the battle of chadaqooodoowaddick in 1672 did you know i don't give a f--- mate 10/19/23(Thu)04:58:09 No.188837238 : Anonymous >>188837175 (OP) # Then why did you make a thread about it? >>188837405 # >>188839274 # >>188839312 # >>188840198 # >>188840238 # >>188840387 # >>188840692 # >>188840757 # >>188841020 # >>188841065 # >>188843409 # >>188843426 # >>188843427 # >>188843437 # >>188843500 # >>188843512 # >>188843544 # >>188843642 # >>188843650 # >>188843971 #

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Anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2016-07-04 14:29:03 Post No.17882174 [Report] Image search: [Google] >>17882078 >high school 1 MB, 480x270 >go to a party and try to not be socially awkward >meet a group of people I semi know and just stick with them >a friend of a friend that I dont really known is in the group, talk with her a bit >we get along really well, kind of hit it off >towards the end of the party her and I are sitting outside by a fire just chilling when I here somebody scream "REBECCA WHAT THE F---" >turn around expecting to see a chad and I get the exact opposite >literal neck beard, chubby kid with a f------ fedora >hear her mutter "oh f------ christ" >he marches over, trying to regain composure >"hey uh..hey I thought..you and and I were doing something tonight" >...no, no we're not. Look devin Im not interested can you please just stop with this" >he looks at me >"and who is this" >im like "and who the f--- is asking" >long story short if you cant figure out the obvious he thought they were a couple and she doesnt want anything to do with him, has told him multiple times and he wont stop >after that night he set his sights on me >for the next two months he would start harassing me, small stuff at first >ding dong ditching, egged my car. it was almost comical >then it go worse >slashed my tires, left death threats stappled to my door and roadkill on my porch >ask the girl about this, said he was the same with her and "didnt take no for an answer" >f---.that. >find out where he lives, wait for him to come outside and I corner him >give him the whole "if I see you again ill f------ murder you" hardcore tough guy thing >he ended up moving away before anything happened in hindsight it was both pathetic and disturbing
Anonymous 2016-07-04 14:29:03 Post No.17882174 [Report] Image search: [Google] >>17882078 >high school 1 MB, 480x270 >go to a party and try to not be socially awkward >meet a group of people I semi know and just stick with them >a friend of a friend that I dont really known is in the group, talk with her a bit >we get along really well, kind of hit it off >towards the end of the party her and I are sitting outside by a fire just chilling when I here somebody scream "REBECCA WHAT THE F---" >turn around expecting to see a chad and I get the exact opposite >literal neck beard, chubby kid with a f------ fedora >hear her mutter "oh f------ christ" >he marches over, trying to regain composure >"hey uh..hey I thought..you and and I were doing something tonight" >...no, no we're not. Look devin Im not interested can you please just stop with this" >he looks at me >"and who is this" >im like "and who the f--- is asking" >long story short if you cant figure out the obvious he thought they were a couple and she doesnt want anything to do with him, has told him multiple times and he wont stop >after that night he set his sights on me >for the next two months he would start harassing me, small stuff at first >ding dong ditching, egged my car. it was almost comical >then it go worse >slashed my tires, left death threats stappled to my door and roadkill on my porch >ask the girl about this, said he was the same with her and "didnt take no for an answer" >f---.that. >find out where he lives, wait for him to come outside and I corner him >give him the whole "if I see you again ill f------ murder you" hardcore tough guy thing >he ended up moving away before anything happened in hindsight it was both pathetic and disturbing

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Anon refuses. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)00:04:04 No.75112725 >see interesting video essay >click 58 KB JPG >woman starts speaking >instantly close tab Why am I like this? I just realized for my ENTIRE LIFE I have refused to watch any youtube video made or voiced by a woman
Anonymous 10/19/23(Thu)00:04:04 No.75112725 >see interesting video essay >click 58 KB JPG >woman starts speaking >instantly close tab Why am I like this? I just realized for my ENTIRE LIFE I have refused to watch any youtube video made or voiced by a woman

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