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Anon moves to Seattle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)18:18:40 No.869168911 >Been living in Seattle for last few years >Come back home for Christmas Let's Go Brandon >Haven't really spent much time with family since 2020 election >Arrive and the house is practically 104 KB JPG decorated with "Let's Go Brandon" flags mixed in with Trump 2024 and Christmas lights. >Nativity scene is on the lawn and has a sign next to it that says "It's Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays". >Mom has been giving me a lecture about how the vaccine is satanic for the last 2 hours >Had 3 jabs and told her and she freaked out and was crying about it >Told her it felt fine and it's nothing to worry about >Dad has been watching TV and been on his phone posting on facebook about how much he hates Biden and telling me Qanon nonsense >Little sister shows us some ballet stuff she has been practicing and my Mom randomly goes on a rant about trannies are evil and how they are going to destroy girl's sports >My parents have a cardboard cutout of Trump next to their Christmas tree and there's Christian crosses all over the house. I remember why I moved to Seattle now.
: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)18:18:40 No.869168911 >Been living in Seattle for last few years >Come back home for Christmas Let's Go Brandon >Haven't really spent much time with family since 2020 election >Arrive and the house is practically 104 KB JPG decorated with "Let's Go Brandon" flags mixed in with Trump 2024 and Christmas lights. >Nativity scene is on the lawn and has a sign next to it that says "It's Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays". >Mom has been giving me a lecture about how the vaccine is satanic for the last 2 hours >Had 3 jabs and told her and she freaked out and was crying about it >Told her it felt fine and it's nothing to worry about >Dad has been watching TV and been on his phone posting on facebook about how much he hates Biden and telling me Qanon nonsense >Little sister shows us some ballet stuff she has been practicing and my Mom randomly goes on a rant about trannies are evil and how they are going to destroy girl's sports >My parents have a cardboard cutout of Trump next to their Christmas tree and there's Christian crosses all over the house. I remember why I moved to Seattle now.

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Anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: 51qFoZOC) 05/02/13(Thu)13:42:29 No.477229176 >>477228380 I got one >Be freshman in college >first time smoking weed >already trashed on whiskey >twist hard >wonder down to a frat house >post up outside and pretend to be security >brothers let me and eventually leave >asking people for IDs for about an hour >whole time drinking hard liquor >2 cops come up the stairs and ask to come in >ask them for IDs >"We are the f------ cops, we are going to come in." >I say "riddle me this..." then proceed to puke on one of them. >They stagger back in shock >Ohfuck > run my drunk ass back to my dorm >Shave my head and beard >see cops every day patrolling the campus >never recognize me Iregret nothing
O Anonymous (ID: 51qFoZOC) 05/02/13(Thu)13:42:29 No.477229176 >>477228380 I got one >Be freshman in college >first time smoking weed >already trashed on whiskey >twist hard >wonder down to a frat house >post up outside and pretend to be security >brothers let me and eventually leave >asking people for IDs for about an hour >whole time drinking hard liquor >2 cops come up the stairs and ask to come in >ask them for IDs >"We are the f------ cops, we are going to come in." >I say "riddle me this..." then proceed to puke on one of them. >They stagger back in shock >Ohfuck > run my drunk ass back to my dorm >Shave my head and beard >see cops every day patrolling the campus >never recognize me Iregret nothing

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anon is doing his part | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)13:00:35 No.86910617 Rutum) Cg non update Auno) 3/11 Fe 453771 gg KE 101200) Reply to Thrend No 744063 Anonymn S Show ea r uta En thes t ony boharatl Anonymous a clen y tat RH7 1616740120841m.jpg 128 KB JPG Broke into a local pharmacy and stole all the booster shots. Been up all night doing Moderna and Pfizer. Going to start on the J&J next. I'm so vaccinated
: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)13:00:35 No.86910617 Rutum) Cg non update Auno) 3/11 Fe 453771 gg KE 101200) Reply to Thrend No 744063 Anonymn S Show ea r uta En thes t ony boharatl Anonymous a clen y tat RH7 1616740120841m.jpg 128 KB JPG Broke into a local pharmacy and stole all the booster shots. Been up all night doing Moderna and Pfizer. Going to start on the J&J next. I'm so vaccinated

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

6:09 A boards.4chan.org – Private Вoard /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)03:58:16 No.869154400 >be me >have friend who comes out as trans >mtf >he's 6'0 and besides not being muscly is one of the most masculine people ive seen >already kek 2 KB JPG >every time we hang out with our friend group he takes control of every conversation and somehow brings it back to him wanting to transition >is getting really annoying >literally his whole personality just became the fact that he is "trans" >besides this still looks masculine as hell, but now hes stopped showering bc he says hes depressed that he doesnt look like a woman >no one wants to hang out with him now >i hold on thinking/hoping its just a phase or something >keeps showing me pics of what he wants to look like >5'2 skinny pale egirl type looks >he is 6'0 skinny and tanned, looks nothing like a woman >even me, a straight white guy looks more like a woman >i bring up the height issue >"women can be 6'0" >"i can get height reduction surgery" >"are you afraid of tall women" >have enough of his cope >tell him that nobody wants to hang out with him anymore because of these delusions and how its ruined the cool man we used to know online t----- cults ruined my friend, this happened to anyone else?
6:09 A boards.4chan.org – Private Вoard /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)03:58:16 No.869154400 >be me >have friend who comes out as trans >mtf >he's 6'0 and besides not being muscly is one of the most masculine people ive seen >already kek 2 KB JPG >every time we hang out with our friend group he takes control of every conversation and somehow brings it back to him wanting to transition >is getting really annoying >literally his whole personality just became the fact that he is "trans" >besides this still looks masculine as hell, but now hes stopped showering bc he says hes depressed that he doesnt look like a woman >no one wants to hang out with him now >i hold on thinking/hoping its just a phase or something >keeps showing me pics of what he wants to look like >5'2 skinny pale egirl type looks >he is 6'0 skinny and tanned, looks nothing like a woman >even me, a straight white guy looks more like a woman >i bring up the height issue >"women can be 6'0" >"i can get height reduction surgery" >"are you afraid of tall women" >have enough of his cope >tell him that nobody wants to hang out with him anymore because of these delusions and how its ruined the cool man we used to know online t----- cults ruined my friend, this happened to anyone else?

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Anon watches House | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:16:02 No.154642473 >patient is 26 years old, never had sex, never been to a concert, has no friends and doesn't have a job >run a brain scan, check for a tumor, then check his browser history 29 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:20:32 No.154642654 >>154642473 (OP) # >why check his browser history? 86 KB JPG >>154643041 # >>154657984 # : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:30:46 No.154643041 >>154642654 # >a man who doesn't have sex will obviously become a p--- connoisseur, and I'm not gonna let such a curated selection to go unappreciated. 19 KB JPG >>154644997 # >>154662906 # >>154665287 # >>154665419 #
: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:16:02 No.154642473 >patient is 26 years old, never had sex, never been to a concert, has no friends and doesn't have a job >run a brain scan, check for a tumor, then check his browser history 29 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:20:32 No.154642654 >>154642473 (OP) # >why check his browser history? 86 KB JPG >>154643041 # >>154657984 # : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:30:46 No.154643041 >>154642654 # >a man who doesn't have sex will obviously become a p--- connoisseur, and I'm not gonna let such a curated selection to go unappreciated. 19 KB JPG >>154644997 # >>154662906 # >>154665287 # >>154665419 #

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Anon has a sore arm | /r/Greentext

O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 14KB · (512 × 512) >be me >hurt my arm at the gym >tell gf >squeezes my arm to see if she can tell what's wrong >wow anon, it's really swollen > tell her it's actually just my tricep feelsgoodman.jpeg
O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 14KB · (512 × 512) >be me >hurt my arm at the gym >tell gf >squeezes my arm to see if she can tell what's wrong >wow anon, it's really swollen > tell her it's actually just my tricep feelsgoodman.jpeg

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Anon will never recover | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)16:00:28 No 866266507 Sfinally watch Squid Game with my gf >actually lives up to the hype >enjoying the plot, the dude with the snake face tattoo is doing some vile s--- >gf breaks the silence "Man why the f--- does he have to be so hot." >look at her >she's not kidding "Why and how the f--- do you always go for the ugliest m----------- in everything." "I have a type." >it takes me a moment >mfw
O Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)16:00:28 No 866266507 Sfinally watch Squid Game with my gf >actually lives up to the hype >enjoying the plot, the dude with the snake face tattoo is doing some vile s--- >gf breaks the silence "Man why the f--- does he have to be so hot." >look at her >she's not kidding "Why and how the f--- do you always go for the ugliest m----------- in everything." "I have a type." >it takes me a moment >mfw

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Anon explains. | /r/Greentext

File: 1388197226829 jpg-(203 KB, 1400x963, 1388101006331.jpg) Anonymous 12/28/13(Sat)03:20:26 UTC+1 No. 10044579 Replies: >>10044599 >>10044624 >>10044643 >>10044646 >>10044662 >10044708 >>10044865 10044891 >>10044983 >10045182 >>10045208 >10045245 >>10045451 >10045654 >>10046147 >talking to nice guy at a party >we get along >decide to hang out a bit >on our last outing I was talking about my bf >he starts acting funny and says he needs to go. Why do guys do this? Men elaborate, do you always think with your cocks? I want friends but I guess if I'm not spreading my legs you want nothing to do with me? pic related, all I'm good for I guess. Anonymous 12/28/13(Sat)03:24:50 UTC+1 No. 10044619 Replies: >10044706 >210044729 >>10044744 >>10044778 >>10044789 >>10044802 10044859 >>10044909 >>10044947 >>10044970 >>10045023 >>10045082 >>10045125 >10045173 >10045202 >>10045228 >>10045269 >>10045373 >>10045381 >10045474 >>10045483 >>10045789 >>10045795 >10045814 >>10045853 >10045988 I am a drunk man and I can help explain this with extreme levels of candour. If I stay at home and talk to my big fat f------ idiot friend on Skype I can have absolutely riveting conversation about all my favourite niche social retard /tg/ hobbies that you would laugh at me and call me a virgni for liking. Thus I would prefer to do this in almost all cirucmstances, over goin to a party, except for one thing that my big fat friend cannot provide: he does not have a VGAINA I go to parties to meet vaginas. Sometimse they have girls attached to them so l ahve to woo the girl. To woo the girl I need to listen to her f------ blab about s--- that is way less interesting tham n y big fat friend talks aboutl. I need to listen to your stupid f------ garbage that sucks you don't even f------ know anything about anything you're awufl, you are an awful plastic disposable s----- person, but tyou have a vagina, and i REALLY want a vagina on my face. constantly. It never stops. So when I foind out that your vagina is not available, I do not care about your vagina anymore. Your vagina can go f--- off. I dont' want to be your friend, beacuse you do not know aanything about Boba Fett and you ar3e incapable of stimulating discussion about Speed Force. TLDR: YOU ARE F------ BORING!! IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WERENT CURRENTLY F------ YOU, HE WOULDNT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAT ASS IETHER
File: 1388197226829 jpg-(203 KB, 1400x963, 1388101006331.jpg) Anonymous 12/28/13(Sat)03:20:26 UTC+1 No. 10044579 Replies: >>10044599 >>10044624 >>10044643 >>10044646 >>10044662 >10044708 >>10044865 10044891 >>10044983 >10045182 >>10045208 >10045245 >>10045451 >10045654 >>10046147 >talking to nice guy at a party >we get along >decide to hang out a bit >on our last outing I was talking about my bf >he starts acting funny and says he needs to go. Why do guys do this? Men elaborate, do you always think with your cocks? I want friends but I guess if I'm not spreading my legs you want nothing to do with me? pic related, all I'm good for I guess. Anonymous 12/28/13(Sat)03:24:50 UTC+1 No. 10044619 Replies: >10044706 >210044729 >>10044744 >>10044778 >>10044789 >>10044802 10044859 >>10044909 >>10044947 >>10044970 >>10045023 >>10045082 >>10045125 >10045173 >10045202 >>10045228 >>10045269 >>10045373 >>10045381 >10045474 >>10045483 >>10045789 >>10045795 >10045814 >>10045853 >10045988 I am a drunk man and I can help explain this with extreme levels of candour. If I stay at home and talk to my big fat f------ idiot friend on Skype I can have absolutely riveting conversation about all my favourite niche social retard /tg/ hobbies that you would laugh at me and call me a virgni for liking. Thus I would prefer to do this in almost all cirucmstances, over goin to a party, except for one thing that my big fat friend cannot provide: he does not have a VGAINA I go to parties to meet vaginas. Sometimse they have girls attached to them so l ahve to woo the girl. To woo the girl I need to listen to her f------ blab about s--- that is way less interesting tham n y big fat friend talks aboutl. I need to listen to your stupid f------ garbage that sucks you don't even f------ know anything about anything you're awufl, you are an awful plastic disposable s----- person, but tyou have a vagina, and i REALLY want a vagina on my face. constantly. It never stops. So when I foind out that your vagina is not available, I do not care about your vagina anymore. Your vagina can go f--- off. I dont' want to be your friend, beacuse you do not know aanything about Boba Fett and you ar3e incapable of stimulating discussion about Speed Force. TLDR: YOU ARE F------ BORING!! IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WERENT CURRENTLY F------ YOU, HE WOULDNT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAT ASS IETHER

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Anon is a hopeless romantic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)12:49:24 No.869109521 >Kill woman in game >Get boner Anyone else struggle from this? 812 KB JPG 105 Replies / 21 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)12:49:24 No.869109521 >Kill woman in game >Get boner Anyone else struggle from this? 812 KB JPG 105 Replies / 21 Images View Thread

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Anon likes gummies | /r/Greentext

38% O 12:46 AM 1Zsz9AS.jpg 491 KB JPG Check out this gummi worm I just found! Bet you've never seen one this long. : Anonymous 05/16/18(Wed)00:26:47 No.768726613 dafuq? 22 KB JPG >>768727255 # : Anonymous 05/16/18(Wed)00:26:49 No.768726615 > Reversed image search > 0 matching results found >>768726820 # >>768726905 # >>768727255 # >>768727978 #
38% O 12:46 AM 1Zsz9AS.jpg 491 KB JPG Check out this gummi worm I just found! Bet you've never seen one this long. : Anonymous 05/16/18(Wed)00:26:47 No.768726613 dafuq? 22 KB JPG >>768727255 # : Anonymous 05/16/18(Wed)00:26:49 No.768726615 > Reversed image search > 0 matching results found >>768726820 # >>768726905 # >>768727255 # >>768727978 #

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

>look up the word "fat" and "curvy" in japanese on google translate >type in their hashtags on instagram Is it tough as a Chubby Girl? >find loads of low self 96 KB JPG esteem cute chubby japanese girls with low follower counts >theyre all hopping on the "body positive movement" by posting sexy fit pics and fishing for compliments >literally no one is giving them any attention because japanese men have naturally low T >message them as an average looking high test white man from the US >theyre practically throwing themselves at me, flirting, sending raunchy pics, etc like shooting fish in a barrel, my dudes, fish in a barrel.
>look up the word "fat" and "curvy" in japanese on google translate >type in their hashtags on instagram Is it tough as a Chubby Girl? >find loads of low self 96 KB JPG esteem cute chubby japanese girls with low follower counts >theyre all hopping on the "body positive movement" by posting sexy fit pics and fishing for compliments >literally no one is giving them any attention because japanese men have naturally low T >message them as an average looking high test white man from the US >theyre practically throwing themselves at me, flirting, sending raunchy pics, etc like shooting fish in a barrel, my dudes, fish in a barrel.

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Anon the rat god | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:21:50 No.64653353 >Noticed rats in the bushes downtown >Started leaving lots of waste food for them >Bread, cakes, meat, etc whatever I get for free from the foodbank >Top up their water bowl every day 1.56 MB WEBM I've been doing this for a couple of months and my pet ratties are getting so big! And they've got lots of little babies now too. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:24:50 No.64653370 >>64653353 (OP) # You've managed to find the most wholesome yet destructive community activity I've seen. Well done. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:28:43 No.64653391 >>64653353 (OP) # based Rat King
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:21:50 No.64653353 >Noticed rats in the bushes downtown >Started leaving lots of waste food for them >Bread, cakes, meat, etc whatever I get for free from the foodbank >Top up their water bowl every day 1.56 MB WEBM I've been doing this for a couple of months and my pet ratties are getting so big! And they've got lots of little babies now too. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:24:50 No.64653370 >>64653353 (OP) # You've managed to find the most wholesome yet destructive community activity I've seen. Well done. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:28:43 No.64653391 >>64653353 (OP) # based Rat King

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)14:08:34 No.866808217 >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister 7 KB PNG didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country
: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)14:08:34 No.866808217 >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister 7 KB PNG didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country

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Anon is listening to Kid Cudi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous04/06/19(Sat)00:07:50 No.796722468 > be me > no gf or friends > sad bc long day > listens to music > gets better > thank u music 128 KB JPG
: Anonymous04/06/19(Sat)00:07:50 No.796722468 > be me > no gf or friends > sad bc long day > listens to music > gets better > thank u music 128 KB JPG

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Anon uses good boy points | /r/Greentext


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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext


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Anon flirts with the homies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)15:54:00 No.869115768 >be me >Have wamen friend >l sent her "i love you" >Accident.jpg >Meant to send to my male friend for giving me rimworld on steam >l say to the female "Sorry mate acident" 30 KB JPG >She gets super p----- >Stops talking to me What? 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)15:54:00 No.869115768 >be me >Have wamen friend >l sent her "i love you" >Accident.jpg >Meant to send to my male friend for giving me rimworld on steam >l say to the female "Sorry mate acident" 30 KB JPG >She gets super p----- >Stops talking to me What? 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is a cicada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES
Anonymous 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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chickens are making anon happy | /r/Greentext

>neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens
>neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)13:43:46 No.64229951 >2035 >literature class >greentexts are teaching material >you're reading this >f--- you, future f-- 361 KB PNG >PS: Your teacher is right, that statement was a rebellion against our selfish and indifferent society!
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)13:43:46 No.64229951 >2035 >literature class >greentexts are teaching material >you're reading this >f--- you, future f-- 361 KB PNG >PS: Your teacher is right, that statement was a rebellion against our selfish and indifferent society!

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