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: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)14:08:34 No.866808217 >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister 7 KB PNG didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is listening to Kid Cudi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous04/06/19(Sat)00:07:50 No.796722468 > be me > no gf or friends > sad bc long day > listens to music > gets better > thank u music 128 KB JPG

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Anon uses good boy points | /r/Greentext

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

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Anon flirts with the homies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)15:54:00 No.869115768 >be me >Have wamen friend >l sent her "i love you" >Accident.jpg >Meant to send to my male friend for giving me rimworld on steam >l say to the female "Sorry mate acident" 30 KB JPG >She gets super p----- >Stops talking to me What? 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is a cicada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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chickens are making anon happy | /r/Greentext

>neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)13:43:46 No.64229951 >2035 >literature class >greentexts are teaching material >you're reading this >f--- you, future f-- 361 KB PNG >PS: Your teacher is right, that statement was a rebellion against our selfish and indifferent society!

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Anon autism is strong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)21:15:11 No.66657584 >be me >walk through hallway >girl coming the other way >could move around but figure she'll move >she doesn't >eventually stop in front of each other >try going my right, she does too >same when going left >ok this is going nowhere >grab her arms like picking up a box by the sides >pick her up, turn around, set her down without saying a word >give her a nod as she looks at me wide eyed >turn around and go on my way Autism makes me strong

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Anon Respects m’theydy’s Pronouns | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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Anon has a healthy relationship with his sister in law | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >wife talks to sister on phone a lot >mostly on speakerphone >one day start to masturbate to her sister's voice Paser nt sin 78 KB PNG >came buckets >habit.jpg >this goes on for months >her sister comes to visit >hear her voice >boner.mkv >wife goes to work (I work at home) >alone with her sister >she starts talking with me >more boner >can't hide it >she notices it >just smiles, doesn't say anything >try to get away >she corners me and doesn't let me leave >finally comments on my boner >trapped like a rat in a cage >come clean and admit everything >she says it's okay >rubs my bulge >says it's really big >undoes my trousers >her eyes get really big >not as big as my c--- tho >she strokes it >I c-- >"this is our little secret anon, don't ever tell my sister" >noshitsherlock.png That was like three visits ago, I've never gotten more than a handy from her, but I always get them, and yes I still rub one out when I hear her voice on the phone.

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Anon larps as a pirate | /r/Greentext

ile: image jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: öyTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"Ive always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat.jpg >Only thíng I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWS" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >"Hey anon do you." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed >Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after ciosing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw

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Anon watches the Matrix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)23:07:14 No.869140390 >load up Matrix Ressurection on НВО >instantly greeted with "strong female character with short blue hair" >instantly knew the movie would 64 KB JPG suck

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Greentext Stories - Anon is American | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)14:08:34 No.866808217 >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister 7 KB PNG didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country

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