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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

285 Views • Created 6 years ago By The Doctor of Wumbology • Updated 9 months ago

Created By The Doctor of Wumbology • Updated 9 months ago

The Real Supervillian

SUPERMAN, ARE yOU FAMILIAR WITH THE HYGIENE HYPOTHESIS DISEASES. BUT, YOU LUVE IN SUCH THE IDEA IS YOU HAVE AN IMMUNE SYSTEM THAT NORMALUV FIGHTS A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT, THERE ARE NO DISEASES FOR T TO ATTACK HM? SO, IT STARTS ATTACKING HEALTHY CELLS INSTEAD ONE IDEA IS THAT YOU MIGHT ACTUACUY GIVE PEOPLE CERTAIN SAFE "DECOY DISEASES IN ORDER TO CAUM AN OVERACTIVE IMMUNE RESPONSE WHATS YOUR POINT? IMAGINE HAD A PERSON WHO FOUGHT CRIME SO EFFECTIVELY THERE WAS NONE LEFT BUT THAT PERSON WAS STILL AROUND STILU NEEDING TO BATTLE STILL RELENTLESS. AND UERY POWERFUL WHAT YOU MIGHT DO IS BECAUSE YOU RE AFRAID HELL TAKE CREATE NEW "CRIMINALS T BADUY AND ATTACK YOU S0 FOR HIM TO TARGET INSTEAD OF COMING RIGHT OUT AJD SAYING IT YO GLOWLY INCREASE HE RIDICULOUSNESS WHY NOT JUST TALK TO HIM THE FAKE RIMINALS FIRST, ITS A SMART GUY WHOSUKE, WHAT DOES THAT BAD THEN, ITS MOLE PEOPLE EVEN MEAN? ALIENS AT SOME POINT ITS AN ALIEN FROM A PLANET CALLED APOKOLIPS AVE ENGUSH PHONEMES AND THEIR PLANET IS CALLED APOCA YPSE BUT THEY oSPELL IT WEIRD? TS S0 O3VIOUS IN RETROSPECT IM MOVING TO MARS TO LIVE ALONE AND WRITE BAD POETRY PURPOSELESSNESS IS THE ONUY REAL SUPERVLLAN DAMN LUTHOR IS GOOD mbc-comics.com
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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    Flawless Execution

    I WANNA BE PUT IN A STAR TREK TELEPORTER WHICH TECHNICALLY KILLS ME THEN RECONSTRUCTS ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WITH A BODY AND MIND THAT ARE IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE NOT GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING AND EATING 27 JOGGERS. Philosophers are no longer allowed to choose their mode of execution.
    I WANNA BE PUT IN A STAR TREK TELEPORTER WHICH TECHNICALLY KILLS ME THEN RECONSTRUCTS ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WITH A BODY AND MIND THAT ARE IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE NOT GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING AND EATING 27 JOGGERS. Philosophers are no longer allowed to choose their mode of execution.
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    Art

    YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND TELL THAT ONE ART SCHOOL TO JUST ACCEPT HITLER? LIKE "I KNOW HE'S NOT THE BEST, BUT JUST TAKE HIM. THIS GUY IS GONNA GET A HUGE AMOUNT OF POWER AND HE'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH ANGER AT THE WHOLE WORLD. JUST TELL HIM HIS LITTLE HOUSE PAINTINGS ARE PRETTY." I MEAN SURE, BUT YOU CAN'T TIME TRAVEL SO WHO CARES? I'M SAYING MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO LIKE AI-GENERATED ART BEFORE, AI GETS POWER. HOOOOO-LY S---. smbc-comics.com
    YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND TELL THAT ONE ART SCHOOL TO JUST ACCEPT HITLER? LIKE "I KNOW HE'S NOT THE BEST, BUT JUST TAKE HIM. THIS GUY IS GONNA GET A HUGE AMOUNT OF POWER AND HE'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH ANGER AT THE WHOLE WORLD. JUST TELL HIM HIS LITTLE HOUSE PAINTINGS ARE PRETTY." I MEAN SURE, BUT YOU CAN'T TIME TRAVEL SO WHO CARES? I'M SAYING MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO LIKE AI-GENERATED ART BEFORE, AI GETS POWER. HOOOOO-LY S---. smbc-comics.com
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    Weird

    OH NO! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS LATEST UPDATE TO FACEBOOK.? HM.2 LOOK AT THIS STUFF! UGH! SO WEIRD AND OFFENSIVE! YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE IT A LOT IF YOU OPEN MY COMPUTER. TOTAL INVASION OF PRIVACY. IF YOU DON'T AGREE TO GIVE THEM A BUNCH OF DATA ON YOU THEY FILL YOUR BROWSER HISTORY WITH P---! I'M LOOKING ONLINE AND SEEING NOBODY ELSE REPORT THIS. THEY ARE SO SNEAKY! smbc-comics.com
    OH NO! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS LATEST UPDATE TO FACEBOOK.? HM.2 LOOK AT THIS STUFF! UGH! SO WEIRD AND OFFENSIVE! YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE IT A LOT IF YOU OPEN MY COMPUTER. TOTAL INVASION OF PRIVACY. IF YOU DON'T AGREE TO GIVE THEM A BUNCH OF DATA ON YOU THEY FILL YOUR BROWSER HISTORY WITH P---! I'M LOOKING ONLINE AND SEEING NOBODY ELSE REPORT THIS. THEY ARE SO SNEAKY! smbc-comics.com
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    Series

    DEAR GOD, WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "RIGHT NOW"? H--------, SO YOU'RE JUST THERE, BEING 24 AND SINGLE WITH A JOB YOU HATE, AND YOU HAVE NO SIMULTANEOUS EXPERIENCE OF A FUTURE WITH MORE RESPECT OR A PAST WITH MORE JOY?! UH... LIKE NOW. THE CURRENT MOMENT. WAIT, H-------- YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WHOLE YEARS WHEN YOU'RE OLD WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING, MAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! SPREAD THINGS OUT A LITTLE. WAIT, WAIT, YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DAYS IN SERIES, NOT IN PARALLEL? YOU MUST FEEL BONKERS! YOU'RE GOING TO DO ALL YOUR CHILD-REARING YEARS... CONSECUTIVELY?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IN RETROSPECT IT WAS A MISTAKE TO PRAY FOR EMPATHY TO AN ALL-POWERFUL IMMORTAL. smbc-comics.com
    DEAR GOD, WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "RIGHT NOW"? H--------, SO YOU'RE JUST THERE, BEING 24 AND SINGLE WITH A JOB YOU HATE, AND YOU HAVE NO SIMULTANEOUS EXPERIENCE OF A FUTURE WITH MORE RESPECT OR A PAST WITH MORE JOY?! UH... LIKE NOW. THE CURRENT MOMENT. WAIT, H-------- YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WHOLE YEARS WHEN YOU'RE OLD WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING, MAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! SPREAD THINGS OUT A LITTLE. WAIT, WAIT, YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DAYS IN SERIES, NOT IN PARALLEL? YOU MUST FEEL BONKERS! YOU'RE GOING TO DO ALL YOUR CHILD-REARING YEARS... CONSECUTIVELY?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IN RETROSPECT IT WAS A MISTAKE TO PRAY FOR EMPATHY TO AN ALL-POWERFUL IMMORTAL. smbc-comics.com
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    Precarious

    I GUESS I'M JUST DEPRESSED ABOUT MY PRECARIOUS POSITION. THINK ABOUT IT. WE'RE CARTOON MEN, OUR GENDER CAN BE ALTERED WITH JUST SIX STRAY LINES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT?! smbc-comics.com
    I GUESS I'M JUST DEPRESSED ABOUT MY PRECARIOUS POSITION. THINK ABOUT IT. WE'RE CARTOON MEN, OUR GENDER CAN BE ALTERED WITH JUST SIX STRAY LINES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT?! smbc-comics.com
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    Confess

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    Planned Parenthood

    MOM, DAD, WAS I... AN ACCIDENT? YOU KNOW, YOU CAN TELL ME. NOPE THE GOAL WAS TO MAX THE ODDS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. WE'RE TALKING TIMING AND QUANTITY. THE WHOLE THING WAS PLANNED DOWN TO THE SECOND. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. HERE'S A DIAGRAM. I'LL USE MY CHEEKS TO MAKE SOUND EFFECTS. smbc-comics.com
    MOM, DAD, WAS I... AN ACCIDENT? YOU KNOW, YOU CAN TELL ME. NOPE THE GOAL WAS TO MAX THE ODDS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. WE'RE TALKING TIMING AND QUANTITY. THE WHOLE THING WAS PLANNED DOWN TO THE SECOND. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. HERE'S A DIAGRAM. I'LL USE MY CHEEKS TO MAKE SOUND EFFECTS. smbc-comics.com
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    Jenny Smith

    JENNY SMITH, WILL YOU MARRY ME? I WILL! OH MY GOD! WHAT IN JESUS' NAME- Did you know that Jennifer is the most common name for women between the ages of 20 and 40?
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    Where 2

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    Time 3

    AMOUNT OF TIME TRAVEL IN THIS GRAPH TIME
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    evolution

    ALL SPACEFARING SPECIES GOT THEIR INTELLIGENCE DURING A BRIEF EVOLUTIONARY PHASE IN WHICHしARGER, MORE POWERFUし BRAINS WERE SELECTED FOR THIS ECOしOGICAし CONFIGURATION IS SO RARE THAT IT SE DOM OCCURS MORE THAN ONCE PER PLANET SOWE'RE SPECIA , HUMANS AREN'T JUST SPECIAL YOURE UNIQUE BIPEDALISM CREATES A TRADE-OFF BETWEEN RUNNING ABILITY AND SIZE OF CRANIUM THAT CAN FIT THROUGH A FEMALE'S HIPS AT BIRTH NATURE GAVE HUMANS SAPIENCE OF A KIND SHARED WITH ALL MINDS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT THEN CAPPED yOUR MENTAしEXPANSION DUE TO BUTT SIZE CONSTRAINTS YOUR INABILITY TO DENY YOUR LOVE OF BIG BUTTS IS THE VOICE OF EVOLUTIONLONG SINCE REDUCED TO A DAMPENING ECHO, BEGGING YOU TO GIVE IT ENOUGH ROOM TO FULFILL ITS GREATEST DESTINY! , BUT, THE EVOLUTIONARYAND THAT IS WHY THERE'S NEVER WINDOW IS CLOSED BUTTS HELD THEIR GROUND. BRAINS しANGUISHED BEEN AN APE FARTHER OUT EARTH THAN THE MOON AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS BUDGET STUFF mbc-comics.com
    ALL SPACEFARING SPECIES GOT THEIR INTELLIGENCE DURING A BRIEF EVOLUTIONARY PHASE IN WHICHしARGER, MORE POWERFUし BRAINS WERE SELECTED FOR THIS ECOしOGICAし CONFIGURATION IS SO RARE THAT IT SE DOM OCCURS MORE THAN ONCE PER PLANET SOWE'RE SPECIA , HUMANS AREN'T JUST SPECIAL YOURE UNIQUE BIPEDALISM CREATES A TRADE-OFF BETWEEN RUNNING ABILITY AND SIZE OF CRANIUM THAT CAN FIT THROUGH A FEMALE'S HIPS AT BIRTH NATURE GAVE HUMANS SAPIENCE OF A KIND SHARED WITH ALL MINDS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT THEN CAPPED yOUR MENTAしEXPANSION DUE TO BUTT SIZE CONSTRAINTS YOUR INABILITY TO DENY YOUR LOVE OF BIG BUTTS IS THE VOICE OF EVOLUTIONLONG SINCE REDUCED TO A DAMPENING ECHO, BEGGING YOU TO GIVE IT ENOUGH ROOM TO FULFILL ITS GREATEST DESTINY! , BUT, THE EVOLUTIONARYAND THAT IS WHY THERE'S NEVER WINDOW IS CLOSED BUTTS HELD THEIR GROUND. BRAINS しANGUISHED BEEN AN APE FARTHER OUT EARTH THAN THE MOON AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS BUDGET STUFF mbc-comics.com
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