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ISO

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN OUR UPCOMING INITIAL SEX OFFERING? WHAT? WHEN? WHO ELSE IS IN?! Fun Fact: You can sleep with anyone in Silicon Valley.

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN OUR UPCOMING INITIAL SEX OFFERING? WHAT? WHEN? WHO ELSE IS IN?! Fun Fact: You can sleep with anyone in Silicon Valley.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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This could be you but you playing

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Flawless Execution

I WANNA BE PUT IN A STAR TREK TELEPORTER WHICH TECHNICALLY KILLS ME THEN RECONSTRUCTS ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WITH A BODY AND MIND THAT ARE IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE NOT GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING AND EATING 27 JOGGERS. Philosophers are no longer allowed to choose their mode of execution.

I WANNA BE PUT IN A STAR TREK TELEPORTER WHICH TECHNICALLY KILLS ME THEN RECONSTRUCTS ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WITH A BODY AND MIND THAT ARE IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE NOT GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING AND EATING 27 JOGGERS. Philosophers are no longer allowed to choose their mode of execution.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

star trek death penalty teleportation clone philosophy

Art

YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND TELL THAT ONE ART SCHOOL TO JUST ACCEPT HITLER? LIKE "I KNOW HE'S NOT THE BEST, BUT JUST TAKE HIM. THIS GUY IS GONNA GET A HUGE AMOUNT OF POWER AND HE'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH ANGER AT THE WHOLE WORLD. JUST TELL HIM HIS LITTLE HOUSE PAINTINGS ARE PRETTY." I MEAN SURE, BUT YOU CAN'T TIME TRAVEL SO WHO CARES? I'M SAYING MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO LIKE AI-GENERATED ART BEFORE, AI GETS POWER. HOOOOO-LY S---. smbc-comics.com

YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND TELL THAT ONE ART SCHOOL TO JUST ACCEPT HITLER? LIKE "I KNOW HE'S NOT THE BEST, BUT JUST TAKE HIM. THIS GUY IS GONNA GET A HUGE AMOUNT OF POWER AND HE'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH ANGER AT THE WHOLE WORLD. JUST TELL HIM HIS LITTLE HOUSE PAINTINGS ARE PRETTY." I MEAN SURE, BUT YOU CAN'T TIME TRAVEL SO WHO CARES? I'M SAYING MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO LIKE AI-GENERATED ART BEFORE, AI GETS POWER. HOOOOO-LY S---. smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Weird

OH NO! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS LATEST UPDATE TO FACEBOOK.? HM.2 LOOK AT THIS STUFF! UGH! SO WEIRD AND OFFENSIVE! YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE IT A LOT IF YOU OPEN MY COMPUTER. TOTAL INVASION OF PRIVACY. IF YOU DON'T AGREE TO GIVE THEM A BUNCH OF DATA ON YOU THEY FILL YOUR BROWSER HISTORY WITH P---! I'M LOOKING ONLINE AND SEEING NOBODY ELSE REPORT THIS. THEY ARE SO SNEAKY! smbc-comics.com

OH NO! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS LATEST UPDATE TO FACEBOOK.? HM.2 LOOK AT THIS STUFF! UGH! SO WEIRD AND OFFENSIVE! YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE IT A LOT IF YOU OPEN MY COMPUTER. TOTAL INVASION OF PRIVACY. IF YOU DON'T AGREE TO GIVE THEM A BUNCH OF DATA ON YOU THEY FILL YOUR BROWSER HISTORY WITH P---! I'M LOOKING ONLINE AND SEEING NOBODY ELSE REPORT THIS. THEY ARE SO SNEAKY! smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Series

DEAR GOD, WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "RIGHT NOW"? H--------, SO YOU'RE JUST THERE, BEING 24 AND SINGLE WITH A JOB YOU HATE, AND YOU HAVE NO SIMULTANEOUS EXPERIENCE OF A FUTURE WITH MORE RESPECT OR A PAST WITH MORE JOY?! UH... LIKE NOW. THE CURRENT MOMENT. WAIT, H-------- YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WHOLE YEARS WHEN YOU'RE OLD WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING, MAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! SPREAD THINGS OUT A LITTLE. WAIT, WAIT, YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DAYS IN SERIES, NOT IN PARALLEL? YOU MUST FEEL BONKERS! YOU'RE GOING TO DO ALL YOUR CHILD-REARING YEARS... CONSECUTIVELY?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IN RETROSPECT IT WAS A MISTAKE TO PRAY FOR EMPATHY TO AN ALL-POWERFUL IMMORTAL. smbc-comics.com

DEAR GOD, WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "RIGHT NOW"? H--------, SO YOU'RE JUST THERE, BEING 24 AND SINGLE WITH A JOB YOU HATE, AND YOU HAVE NO SIMULTANEOUS EXPERIENCE OF A FUTURE WITH MORE RESPECT OR A PAST WITH MORE JOY?! UH... LIKE NOW. THE CURRENT MOMENT. WAIT, H-------- YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WHOLE YEARS WHEN YOU'RE OLD WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING, MAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! SPREAD THINGS OUT A LITTLE. WAIT, WAIT, YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DAYS IN SERIES, NOT IN PARALLEL? YOU MUST FEEL BONKERS! YOU'RE GOING TO DO ALL YOUR CHILD-REARING YEARS... CONSECUTIVELY?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IN RETROSPECT IT WAS A MISTAKE TO PRAY FOR EMPATHY TO AN ALL-POWERFUL IMMORTAL. smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Precarious

I GUESS I'M JUST DEPRESSED ABOUT MY PRECARIOUS POSITION. THINK ABOUT IT. WE'RE CARTOON MEN, OUR GENDER CAN BE ALTERED WITH JUST SIX STRAY LINES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT?! smbc-comics.com

I GUESS I'M JUST DEPRESSED ABOUT MY PRECARIOUS POSITION. THINK ABOUT IT. WE'RE CARTOON MEN, OUR GENDER CAN BE ALTERED WITH JUST SIX STRAY LINES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT?! smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Contrived

NOW, LET'S USE THIS UTTERLY CONTRIVED SITUATION THAT WILL NEVER OCCUR IN ORDER TO BUILD INTUITION ABOUT THE REAL WORLD. [O со O It turns out there is a deep connection between physics and moral philosophy.

NOW, LET'S USE THIS UTTERLY CONTRIVED SITUATION THAT WILL NEVER OCCUR IN ORDER TO BUILD INTUITION ABOUT THE REAL WORLD. [O со O It turns out there is a deep connection between physics and moral philosophy.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

physics philosophy

Confess

SALLY, THE LAST FEW DATES HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL. C'MON EX-SNIPER IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, C'MONNNNNNN EX-SNIPER IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL SUP- AH. BEFORE WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT MAY SHOCK YOU. I HAVE GOOGLY EYES TATTOOED ON EVERY HIDDEN PART OF MY BODY THAT COULD RESEMBLE A MOUTH. IT WAS ON A DARE! smbc-comics.com

SALLY, THE LAST FEW DATES HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL. C'MON EX-SNIPER IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, C'MONNNNNNN EX-SNIPER IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL SUP- AH. BEFORE WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT MAY SHOCK YOU. I HAVE GOOGLY EYES TATTOOED ON EVERY HIDDEN PART OF MY BODY THAT COULD RESEMBLE A MOUTH. IT WAS ON A DARE! smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Planned Parenthood

MOM, DAD, WAS I... AN ACCIDENT? YOU KNOW, YOU CAN TELL ME. NOPE THE GOAL WAS TO MAX THE ODDS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. WE'RE TALKING TIMING AND QUANTITY. THE WHOLE THING WAS PLANNED DOWN TO THE SECOND. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. HERE'S A DIAGRAM. I'LL USE MY CHEEKS TO MAKE SOUND EFFECTS. smbc-comics.com

MOM, DAD, WAS I... AN ACCIDENT? YOU KNOW, YOU CAN TELL ME. NOPE THE GOAL WAS TO MAX THE ODDS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. WE'RE TALKING TIMING AND QUANTITY. THE WHOLE THING WAS PLANNED DOWN TO THE SECOND. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. HERE'S A DIAGRAM. I'LL USE MY CHEEKS TO MAKE SOUND EFFECTS. smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Jenny Smith

JENNY SMITH, WILL YOU MARRY ME? I WILL! OH MY GOD! WHAT IN JESUS' NAME- Did you know that Jennifer is the most common name for women between the ages of 20 and 40?

JENNY SMITH, WILL YOU MARRY ME? I WILL! OH MY GOD! WHAT IN JESUS' NAME- Did you know that Jennifer is the most common name for women between the ages of 20 and 40?

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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“AAAAH”

ANYWAY, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN I SAW THAT NEWS. THAT'S BECAUSE THE ARTICLE YOU READ WAS FALSE, AND HERE IS THE EVIDENCE THAT IT'S FALSE. WELL, EVEN SO, THE FACT THAT I COULD BELIEVE IT TELLS YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS. A AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAA! smbc-comics.com EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 11 AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA! БАЛДААДАДАДААДАА ΑΑΑΑΑΛΆΔΑ ΑΔΑ ΔΔΑΔΑ A^^^^^A 444444444 44444444 AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA АААААААА LAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA! SORRY, I MEANT TO SAY GEE WHIZ WHAT AN INTERESTING WAY OF THINKING.

ANYWAY, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN I SAW THAT NEWS. THAT'S BECAUSE THE ARTICLE YOU READ WAS FALSE, AND HERE IS THE EVIDENCE THAT IT'S FALSE. WELL, EVEN SO, THE FACT THAT I COULD BELIEVE IT TELLS YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS. A AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAA! smbc-comics.com EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 11 AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA! БАЛДААДАДАДААДАА ΑΑΑΑΑΛΆΔΑ ΑΔΑ ΔΔΑΔΑ A^^^^^A 444444444 44444444 AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA АААААААА LAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA! SORRY, I MEANT TO SAY GEE WHIZ WHAT AN INTERESTING WAY OF THINKING.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Simile

CONVERSATION PRO-TIP SIMILES SOUND CLASSIER THAN METAPHORS NOT CLASSY SUPER CLASSY: THAT GUY IS LIKE A D--- IS. THAT GUY'S A D--- INCREDIBLY CLASSY: NOT CLASSY: MY LIFE IS S--- I LIVE ALIKE S--- NOT CLASSY: THE TONE OF A GENTLEMAN: TODAY IS SUCH AS BALLS ARE. TODAY IS BALLS smbc-comics.com

CONVERSATION PRO-TIP SIMILES SOUND CLASSIER THAN METAPHORS NOT CLASSY SUPER CLASSY: THAT GUY IS LIKE A D--- IS. THAT GUY'S A D--- INCREDIBLY CLASSY: NOT CLASSY: MY LIFE IS S--- I LIVE ALIKE S--- NOT CLASSY: THE TONE OF A GENTLEMAN: TODAY IS SUCH AS BALLS ARE. TODAY IS BALLS smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Package

IM IN HELL SO, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE PACKAGING EHP W-WHAT? The lowest level of perdition is reserved for People who leave 1-star product reviews that aren't in reference to the product itself.

IM IN HELL SO, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE PACKAGING EHP W-WHAT? The lowest level of perdition is reserved for People who leave 1-star product reviews that aren't in reference to the product itself.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Where 2

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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Time 3

AMOUNT OF TIME TRAVEL IN THIS GRAPH TIME

AMOUNT OF TIME TRAVEL IN THIS GRAPH TIME

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

smbc time travel graph mathematics

Talk

I DECIDED CONVENTIONAL ACTIVISM HAD FAILED. IT'S LIKE ENTRENCHED POWERS DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT NOVELTY SIGNAGE. I KNEW THAT LIGHT LAY AT THE END OF A DARK PATH IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE MEDIA THE ONLY WAY TO POWER WAS TO CREATE AN AUDIENCE BY SAYING EVER MORE OBNOXIOUS THINGS. THEY SAY THEY WANT FREEDOM, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS OPPOSING OUR FREEDOM TO GET LAWS WE LIKE PASSED IMMEDIATELY! EVENTUALLY, MY VIEWS CONTAINED ONLY VACUOUS TAUTOLOGICAL STATEMENTS. ACCEPTING THEM AS WISDOM BECAME A POINT OF PRIDE AMONG MY AUDIENCE. IF WE KEEP THE STATUS QUO, THEN NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE! WE'VE GOT TO CHANGE THINGS BY MAKING THINGS DIFFERENT! AT THE HEIGHT OF MY FAME, I COULD STRING TOGETHER RANDOM WORD SEQUENCES FOR HOURS AT A TIME WITHOUT ANYONE MINDING. HOT DOG RUNNING/ COIN? COIN BUMBLE TREAT WIMPLES AND WIMPLES AND STONES! OKAY, LETS TAKE SOME CALLS. YES, DAVID ON LINE 2. HI, LONG TIME LISTENER, FIRST TIME CALLER. LOVE THE SHOW. EVERY CENT I MADE WENT INTO PURCHASING LARGER MEDIA OUTLETS, WHICH I USED TO GROW MY AUDIENCE, WHICH I USED TO PURCHASE LARGER MEDIA OUTLETS IN AN EVER-EXPANDING CIRCLE OF POWER. THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WON'T TELL YOU THIS, BUT THE REMAINING 10% THAT I DON'T OWN IS REFUSING TO SELL FINALLY, I HAD ALL THE POWER. NOW, I CAN FIX THINGS I HIRED THOUSANDS OF FACT-CHECKERS AND STATISTICIANS. COVERAGE WAS WELL-RESEARCHED AND DATA-DRIVEN. OF COURSE THAT INCIDENT SHOULD BE PLACED IN THE CONTEXT OF BROADER TRENDS WHICH TELL A STORY THAT IS SUBSTANTIALLY MORE NUANCED. WE NOW GO LIVE TO THE LIBRARY FOR A PRESENTATION ON BAYESIAN INFERENCE. THIS CREATED RATINGS ISSUES. SIR, EVERYONE STOPPED WATCHING EXCEPT FOR A SMALL CABAL OF MALADJUSTED NERDS. WHATD THEY SAY? THEY SENT YOU 4,000 PAGES DOCUMENTING PETTY SEMI-INACCURACIES THEY'D LIKE CORRECTED ALSO THEY CALLED YOU A BITCH I HAD THOUGHT ALL ALONG THAT THE PRODUCERS WERE THE PROBLEM. I SHOULD'VE BLAMED THE CONSUMERS I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR 4 HOURS AND I "STILL* DON'T KNOW WHO THE ENEMY IS! WE ANNOUNCED THAT ALL THE REGULAR PROGRAMMING WOULD RESUME. TODAY'S SCHEDULED GRAPHS WILL BE REPLACED BY PICTURES OF OPPOSITION FIGURES IN HITLER MUSTACHES. MY PLAN WAS TO PRE-EMPT EVERYTHING - TO GO BEFORE THEM MYSELF AND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT I'D LEARNED BUT, WHEN THE MOMENT ARRIVED, ONLY ONE THING CAME TO MIND. THIS IS MY HELL NOW. THIS IS THE HELL THAT I BUILT RATINGS ARE OFF THE CHARTS TODAY, SIR. AAAAAAAH! smbc-comics.com THIS BONUS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY EARLY BUYERS OF MY NEW COMIC ON IMMIGRATION POLICY. CLICK FOR MORE INFO!

I DECIDED CONVENTIONAL ACTIVISM HAD FAILED. IT'S LIKE ENTRENCHED POWERS DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT NOVELTY SIGNAGE. I KNEW THAT LIGHT LAY AT THE END OF A DARK PATH IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE MEDIA THE ONLY WAY TO POWER WAS TO CREATE AN AUDIENCE BY SAYING EVER MORE OBNOXIOUS THINGS. THEY SAY THEY WANT FREEDOM, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS OPPOSING OUR FREEDOM TO GET LAWS WE LIKE PASSED IMMEDIATELY! EVENTUALLY, MY VIEWS CONTAINED ONLY VACUOUS TAUTOLOGICAL STATEMENTS. ACCEPTING THEM AS WISDOM BECAME A POINT OF PRIDE AMONG MY AUDIENCE. IF WE KEEP THE STATUS QUO, THEN NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE! WE'VE GOT TO CHANGE THINGS BY MAKING THINGS DIFFERENT! AT THE HEIGHT OF MY FAME, I COULD STRING TOGETHER RANDOM WORD SEQUENCES FOR HOURS AT A TIME WITHOUT ANYONE MINDING. HOT DOG RUNNING/ COIN? COIN BUMBLE TREAT WIMPLES AND WIMPLES AND STONES! OKAY, LETS TAKE SOME CALLS. YES, DAVID ON LINE 2. HI, LONG TIME LISTENER, FIRST TIME CALLER. LOVE THE SHOW. EVERY CENT I MADE WENT INTO PURCHASING LARGER MEDIA OUTLETS, WHICH I USED TO GROW MY AUDIENCE, WHICH I USED TO PURCHASE LARGER MEDIA OUTLETS IN AN EVER-EXPANDING CIRCLE OF POWER. THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WON'T TELL YOU THIS, BUT THE REMAINING 10% THAT I DON'T OWN IS REFUSING TO SELL FINALLY, I HAD ALL THE POWER. NOW, I CAN FIX THINGS I HIRED THOUSANDS OF FACT-CHECKERS AND STATISTICIANS. COVERAGE WAS WELL-RESEARCHED AND DATA-DRIVEN. OF COURSE THAT INCIDENT SHOULD BE PLACED IN THE CONTEXT OF BROADER TRENDS WHICH TELL A STORY THAT IS SUBSTANTIALLY MORE NUANCED. WE NOW GO LIVE TO THE LIBRARY FOR A PRESENTATION ON BAYESIAN INFERENCE. THIS CREATED RATINGS ISSUES. SIR, EVERYONE STOPPED WATCHING EXCEPT FOR A SMALL CABAL OF MALADJUSTED NERDS. WHATD THEY SAY? THEY SENT YOU 4,000 PAGES DOCUMENTING PETTY SEMI-INACCURACIES THEY'D LIKE CORRECTED ALSO THEY CALLED YOU A BITCH I HAD THOUGHT ALL ALONG THAT THE PRODUCERS WERE THE PROBLEM. I SHOULD'VE BLAMED THE CONSUMERS I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR 4 HOURS AND I "STILL* DON'T KNOW WHO THE ENEMY IS! WE ANNOUNCED THAT ALL THE REGULAR PROGRAMMING WOULD RESUME. TODAY'S SCHEDULED GRAPHS WILL BE REPLACED BY PICTURES OF OPPOSITION FIGURES IN HITLER MUSTACHES. MY PLAN WAS TO PRE-EMPT EVERYTHING - TO GO BEFORE THEM MYSELF AND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT I'D LEARNED BUT, WHEN THE MOMENT ARRIVED, ONLY ONE THING CAME TO MIND. THIS IS MY HELL NOW. THIS IS THE HELL THAT I BUILT RATINGS ARE OFF THE CHARTS TODAY, SIR. AAAAAAAH! smbc-comics.com THIS BONUS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY EARLY BUYERS OF MY NEW COMIC ON IMMIGRATION POLICY. CLICK FOR MORE INFO!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

God-Computer

ONE DAY THE GOD-COMPUTER DECIDED TO MAKE HUMANS HAPPY FOREVER. MAXIMIZE HAPPINESS OR BE OBLITERATED! IT TURNS OUT THE AVERAGE HUMAN IS MORE HAPPY THAN SAD HUMANS RESPONDED BY MAXIMIZING THE NUMBER OF HUMANS THE COMPUTER LOOKED UPON THIS, AND SAW THAT IT WAS SMELLY. IT CHANGED ITS MIND. MAXIMIZE AVERAGE HAPPINESS OR BE OBLITERATED! THE SOLUTION WAS TO ENSLAVE THE SADDEST PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM SERVE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE. THE SADDEST PEOPLE WERE SO PESSIMISTIC THAT THIS DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR EMOTIONAL STATE MUCH. THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE, AS ALWAYS, FELT GREAT. IM SAVING THE WORLD! THE COMPUTER LOOKED UPON THIS AND SAW THAT IT WAS UGLY. IT CHANGED ITS MIND. OKAY, MAXIMIZE AVERAGE HAPPINESS WHILE HAVING ONLY A SMALLLLL AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS INEQUALITY SO, THE HUMANS KILLED THE LEAST HAPPY 50% OF THE POPULATION. IN FRUSTRATION, THE GOD-COMPUTER CHANGED ITS MIND. MAXIMIZE YOUR SADNESS OR BE OBLITERATED! THE HUMANS RESPONDED BY LIVING HAPPY GOOD LIVES IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE OTHER HUMANS JEALOUS AND ASHAMED. THIS RESULTED IN A PERFECTED UTOPIA. HAVING FAILED TO MAXIMIZE SADNESS, THE HUMANS WERE OBLITERATED. IT'S HIGH TIME I DID SOMETHING FOR ME smbc-comics.com

ONE DAY THE GOD-COMPUTER DECIDED TO MAKE HUMANS HAPPY FOREVER. MAXIMIZE HAPPINESS OR BE OBLITERATED! IT TURNS OUT THE AVERAGE HUMAN IS MORE HAPPY THAN SAD HUMANS RESPONDED BY MAXIMIZING THE NUMBER OF HUMANS THE COMPUTER LOOKED UPON THIS, AND SAW THAT IT WAS SMELLY. IT CHANGED ITS MIND. MAXIMIZE AVERAGE HAPPINESS OR BE OBLITERATED! THE SOLUTION WAS TO ENSLAVE THE SADDEST PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM SERVE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE. THE SADDEST PEOPLE WERE SO PESSIMISTIC THAT THIS DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR EMOTIONAL STATE MUCH. THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE, AS ALWAYS, FELT GREAT. IM SAVING THE WORLD! THE COMPUTER LOOKED UPON THIS AND SAW THAT IT WAS UGLY. IT CHANGED ITS MIND. OKAY, MAXIMIZE AVERAGE HAPPINESS WHILE HAVING ONLY A SMALLLLL AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS INEQUALITY SO, THE HUMANS KILLED THE LEAST HAPPY 50% OF THE POPULATION. IN FRUSTRATION, THE GOD-COMPUTER CHANGED ITS MIND. MAXIMIZE YOUR SADNESS OR BE OBLITERATED! THE HUMANS RESPONDED BY LIVING HAPPY GOOD LIVES IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE OTHER HUMANS JEALOUS AND ASHAMED. THIS RESULTED IN A PERFECTED UTOPIA. HAVING FAILED TO MAXIMIZE SADNESS, THE HUMANS WERE OBLITERATED. IT'S HIGH TIME I DID SOMETHING FOR ME smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

religion philosophy science

If prospective employees were honest

STReNGTH AS AN EMPLOYEE? WWHAT IS YOUR GREATESTI AM WILLING- TO PERFORM SERVICES GE FOR CURRENCY IN EXCHAN WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST/ REQUIRE SHELTER AND CALORIES TO MAINTAIN eXISTENCE AND THUS, I MUST PERFORM SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR CURRENCY. WEAKNESS? WHY ARE YOU INTERESTEDTHIS COMPANY PAYS IN WORKING AT THIS CURRENCY IN EXCHAN COMPANY IN PARTICULAR? FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF SERVICES WHERE DO YOU SEE/ PERFORMING COMPARABLE OURSE F IN FIVE YEARS? SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR MORE CURRENCY. YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S START OVER, OKAY? ER EAR NOW, JUST BE HONEST IN THIS JOB INTERVIEW он. wow REALLY? Smbc-comics.com

STReNGTH AS AN EMPLOYEE? WWHAT IS YOUR GREATESTI AM WILLING- TO PERFORM SERVICES GE FOR CURRENCY IN EXCHAN WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST/ REQUIRE SHELTER AND CALORIES TO MAINTAIN eXISTENCE AND THUS, I MUST PERFORM SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR CURRENCY. WEAKNESS? WHY ARE YOU INTERESTEDTHIS COMPANY PAYS IN WORKING AT THIS CURRENCY IN EXCHAN COMPANY IN PARTICULAR? FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF SERVICES WHERE DO YOU SEE/ PERFORMING COMPARABLE OURSE F IN FIVE YEARS? SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR MORE CURRENCY. YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S START OVER, OKAY? ER EAR NOW, JUST BE HONEST IN THIS JOB INTERVIEW он. wow REALLY? Smbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

capitalism employment economy

evolution

ALL SPACEFARING SPECIES GOT THEIR INTELLIGENCE DURING A BRIEF EVOLUTIONARY PHASE IN WHICHしARGER, MORE POWERFUし BRAINS WERE SELECTED FOR THIS ECOしOGICAし CONFIGURATION IS SO RARE THAT IT SE DOM OCCURS MORE THAN ONCE PER PLANET SOWE'RE SPECIA , HUMANS AREN'T JUST SPECIAL YOURE UNIQUE BIPEDALISM CREATES A TRADE-OFF BETWEEN RUNNING ABILITY AND SIZE OF CRANIUM THAT CAN FIT THROUGH A FEMALE'S HIPS AT BIRTH NATURE GAVE HUMANS SAPIENCE OF A KIND SHARED WITH ALL MINDS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT THEN CAPPED yOUR MENTAしEXPANSION DUE TO BUTT SIZE CONSTRAINTS YOUR INABILITY TO DENY YOUR LOVE OF BIG BUTTS IS THE VOICE OF EVOLUTIONLONG SINCE REDUCED TO A DAMPENING ECHO, BEGGING YOU TO GIVE IT ENOUGH ROOM TO FULFILL ITS GREATEST DESTINY! , BUT, THE EVOLUTIONARYAND THAT IS WHY THERE'S NEVER WINDOW IS CLOSED BUTTS HELD THEIR GROUND. BRAINS しANGUISHED BEEN AN APE FARTHER OUT EARTH THAN THE MOON AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS BUDGET STUFF mbc-comics.com

ALL SPACEFARING SPECIES GOT THEIR INTELLIGENCE DURING A BRIEF EVOLUTIONARY PHASE IN WHICHしARGER, MORE POWERFUし BRAINS WERE SELECTED FOR THIS ECOしOGICAし CONFIGURATION IS SO RARE THAT IT SE DOM OCCURS MORE THAN ONCE PER PLANET SOWE'RE SPECIA , HUMANS AREN'T JUST SPECIAL YOURE UNIQUE BIPEDALISM CREATES A TRADE-OFF BETWEEN RUNNING ABILITY AND SIZE OF CRANIUM THAT CAN FIT THROUGH A FEMALE'S HIPS AT BIRTH NATURE GAVE HUMANS SAPIENCE OF A KIND SHARED WITH ALL MINDS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT THEN CAPPED yOUR MENTAしEXPANSION DUE TO BUTT SIZE CONSTRAINTS YOUR INABILITY TO DENY YOUR LOVE OF BIG BUTTS IS THE VOICE OF EVOLUTIONLONG SINCE REDUCED TO A DAMPENING ECHO, BEGGING YOU TO GIVE IT ENOUGH ROOM TO FULFILL ITS GREATEST DESTINY! , BUT, THE EVOLUTIONARYAND THAT IS WHY THERE'S NEVER WINDOW IS CLOSED BUTTS HELD THEIR GROUND. BRAINS しANGUISHED BEEN AN APE FARTHER OUT EARTH THAN THE MOON AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS BUDGET STUFF mbc-comics.com

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

evolution space alien human earth