Also be clickbaity as hell and pander to children so hard that you'll probably end up on an FBI list somewhere.

Also, make sure everything you upload is 100% original, because if you have .005 milliseconds of copyrighted material in your 10-minute-long video your ad revenue will belong to a giant corporation that doesn't care about you. This also applies even if you're using clips for analysis or other transformative works (a.k.a. fair use). We also copyright atmospheric noise (yes this happened).

And don't forget to keep it as G and family-friendly as possible. If you say anything that might make a conservative Christian soccer mom uncomfortable, your video will be DEMONETISED. If we think you did this too many times, your channel may go bye-bye too. Of course, we have exceptions for the top 1% of Youtubers who made a career off of swearing and semi-inappropriate content back in '12. For the rest of you, however, you have to face the law of our totally not subjective community guidelines.

We don't care if you think these rules are out-of-touch and exploitative. What we say, goes. And by we we mean the robot monkey that keeps everything running for us while we go out and sip some vodka.