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Judge Court is now in session. We will begin with a formalhearing of the charges from the prosecution. Edgeworth Certainly, your Honour, the charges are: Unlawfulacquisition of a sandwich fro. Phoenix Your Honour, Iob ject to the prosecution's attempts to twist the charges laid against my client in order to make the alleged crime sound worse thanit possibly was. Edgeworth Wright, you cannot object to a charge you do notevenknow yet! Judge This is indeed mostunusual. However, Ishall let this stand for the time being. Edgeworth As you wish, your Honour. I call my client to the stand to give us details about the theft perpetratedby the defendant. Sae Ni jima Certainly. The crime took place last Thursday around lunch time when Mr Murdock stole my sandwich from the employee fridge and ate it without my consent. Edgeworth Thank you, Ms Niijima. And you are certain thatit was specifically Mr Matt Murdock who was responsible for the theft and consumption of yousandwich, is that correct? Sae Ni jima Yes, I saw himeatingit with my own two eyes. Iknowit was my sandwich, as I didnot see him bring any lunch into the office when he arrived to work that morning. Edgeworth Thank you, Ms Niijima. Youmay take a seat for the time being. Judge Thank you. We will now hear from the defendant on whether they are willing to accept these charges or not. Phoenix Thank you, your Honour. Ishall beginby calling my client to the dock where he will provide the court with his testimony on the events of that day. Matt Murdock It would be my pleasure to recount to you all the true facts of what had transpired on that fateful day, instead of the fantasy spunby my erstwhile colleague over there. Phoenix (Damn, I forgot that he was blind.) (This is seriously going to hamper any accounts he gives.) Phoenix Mr Murdock, would you please kindly tell the court what youhave already toldmyself about the events that occurred last Thursday aroundlunch time? Matt Murdock Gladly. You see, ladies andgentleman of the jury, whilst it was true that I did partake of a particularly fine sandwich that day, it was a sandwich that İhadpurchasedmyself from thelocal delicatessen. Matt Murdock Unfortunately, Sae has been having difficulties in her private liferecently andinher flusteredstate became aggrieved at my supposed theft when inreality, she most likely misplacedit somewhere else in the office. Judge Solbelieve thatit is correct to state before the court that you are pleading "Not Guilty" to the charge of theft. Is this correct? Matt Murdock That is correct, your Honour. Judge Very well then. Bothparties may now crossexamine the other and provide any evidence they have to the court. We will start with the prosecution. Edgeworth Thank you, your Honour. Now, Mr Murdock, you claim that youbrought this sandwich from a local delicatessen. Could you kindly tel me the name of this establishment please? Matt Murdock Certainly, it was from the Greggs on Winchester Avenue. Iusually purchasemy lunch there before arriving at work in the mornings. Edgeworth Isee. And you and Ms Ni jima share a fridge in this office, is that correct? Matt Murdock That is correct. However, before youbring it up, me and Sae hadanagreement that due tomy disability, the left hand side of the fridge was mine and the right hand side was hers, inorder to avoid This was done in order to attempt to avoidmisunderstandings like the one we are currently discussing. Edgeworth But as you have said yourself, Ms Ni jima has been distractedlately due to events happening in her personallife. Perhaps it is possible that she placedher sandwich on the wrong side by mistake? Matt Murdock That is most certainly a possibility, yes. However, I. Edgeworth Thank you, Mr Murdoch, that is all Irequire from you for now. Youmay now return to your seat. Matt Murdock Asyou wish, Mr Edgeworth, as you wish. Judge The court shall now let the defendant ask the prosecution any questions they feel are pertinent to the case, as well as present anyevidence they believe to berelevant to the matter at hand. Phoenix Thank you, your Honour. So, Ms Ni jima, is it true what my client has said? Has your personal life been interfering with your professional one? Sae Nii jima Whilst I admit thatmypersonalife has becomerather.hectic lately, I do not believe that this has createdany major negative contributions to my professional life at all. Phoenix Hectic, you say? Hectic enough for youto almost poison yourself? Sae Ni jima Poison? What on earth are you going on about? Phoenix According to your medical records, Ms Nijima, you are have a peanut allergy. Is that correct? SaeNi jima It is, although I do not see how this isrelevant to the case at hand. Phoenix Well, Ms Nijima, whilst investigating the office in searchof evidence, we came across this empty Greggs bag for a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich in my client's waste bin dated to last Thursday. Ph Well, M gune search of evidence, we came or a Peanut ber and Jelly Sandwich in my Thursday. across clien swas. da Edgeworth This does not prove that Mr Murdock didnot consume my client's property. Phoenix That is true, Mr Edgeworth, however, in this instance, I do believe your client was the sole witness to the alleged incident, was she not? SoMs Nii jima, how many sandwiches did Mr Murdock consume? Sae Ni jima Er, just.just the one.urgh. Phoenix Then you have no choice but to admit that my client is innocent in regards to these accusations of theft that youhave chargedhim with. Not Guilty Judge That was a most impressive defence, Mr Wright. However, this does not acquit the defendant of the main charge of burning down the orphanage and the murder of an orangutan. Phoenix (.s---.)

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Make-A-Meme Foundation: Judge of Dredd's Second Request


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I had to squish this whole thing down a bit in order to get it under the 5MB limit; but it's still readable, so it should be ok.

If it's causing you any trouble, let me know and I'll upload the original THICC version to imgur and link it back here.

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Uploaded Jan 06, 2021 at 09:46PM EST

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sae niijima, persona 5, matt murdock, daredevil, community event, it's peanut butter jelly time, sandwich, theft, food, almost based on true events, lawyers, court, ace attorney, phoenix wright, miles edgeworth

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