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Anonymous (ID: T/GyyUSx ) 01/26/22(Wed)15:55:53 No.45937521 File: 2.png (67 KB, 1280x1280) >why did the moderators close the r/antiwork reddit? >responding to posts was too much work the poetry writes itself

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Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

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Anon shares an opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/22(Fri)18:35:49 No.585876505 1642783938078.jpg 27 KB JPG This is 10/10 according to /v/.

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Anon tells school story | /r/Greentext

Happened back in middle school >friend dares me to pinch random sixth grader's nose >do it >kid starts crying >tell him to calm down >tell him to watch this and jump into a wall face first >he stops crying and laughs and gives me a high five >wave goodbye to eachother and part ways >he reports me anyways

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Anon just activated my trap card | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped

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Anon owns a steam deck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)04:59:17 No.162789616 >invite a girl around for a movie >take out my Steam Deck to play kino on my TV >"thank God anon, the last guy I tried to watch a movie with pulled CONCE out a HDMI cable" 850 KB PNG This is a game changer. : Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)05:00:19 No.162789667 >>162789616 (OP) # If you have preordered one of these I guarantee you will never have consensual sex in your life. >>162789757 # >>162789818 # >>162791675 # >>162793291 # >>162793583 # >>162795974 # >>162798958 #

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)17:42:09 No.782897522 >be redditfag >in shower >think about if i should hang myself or not >idea.jpeg >post if i should hang myself or not 14 KB PNG on r/showerthoughts for 7 upvotes >post it >permanently banned >what is it i dont understand

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Anon is discovered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:50:27 No.850975316 >Be me >Sophomore year in college >Periodically s--- in the top tank of toilets at fraternity and sorority houses during parties >Word spreading around campus about a "serial s------" 77 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:55:14 No.850975586 So it's been you at UVA m-----------?

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Anon can't go swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED

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Anon spends an apsurd amount of money on a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)04:49:22 No.67137682 >Have spent nearly $3,000 on a girl I met here >Random stuff from anime figures to sex toys >Did this mostly as "gifts" that I told her not to worry about paying me back, though she has sent See you space cowboy 684 KB PNG me a couple of nude pics in return >I thought we were obviously dating, what with the i-love- you's and everything >Today she revealed to me that she's getting back with her ex-boyfriend >l said, "But I thought I was your boyfriend?" >She says, "Anon, you're my best friend in the whole world, I love you, but not like that" >"What about all that s--- l've bought you?" >"That's what I love most about you, your gifts!" I think this is it. I think this is what l'll kill myself over.

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anon is scared of biden | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)00:06:07 No.66837046 >be me >have dream where joe biden visits my house >he gives us all handshakes and Joe Bidome does all the regular political pr stuff 10 KB JPG >he tries to tell me something but i don't understand it >say "what?" >suddenly joe biden goes absolutely feral, slaps my back as hard as humanly possible >he starts beating the living s--- out of my mom >try to help her but he beats me up too >wake up >w--.png >have a panic attack anytime i see the old f--- on the news >tfw my life has been hell for the past week because joe biden beat me up in a dream

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Anon likes cowboys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 minuten geleden 785108597 : >Be me, 16 year old who's played nothing but Red Dead 2 since it came out >Becoming a literal cowboy >yeehaw.exe is working to full сарacity >I decide to start wearing cowboy apparel to school >People laugh, nobody understands me >l'm planning on high nooning the school but I don't know how to use deadeye in real life, pls help 6 REPLIES

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Robot has a oneitis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:03:22 No.49347279 >be me >fat neet >no gf obviously >have a oneitis type crush >would literally do anything to get her 20 KB JPG >start dieting and exercising >stop jerking off dry, instead buy fleshlight and lube >feelsgoodman >start really liking the fleshlight >decide to give it a name >the same name as my oneitis >decide to tell it to her as a compliment >get blocked : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:05:39 No.49347304 >>49347279 (OP) # >decide to tell it to her as a compliment 31 KB JPG

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Future serial killer likes the grocery store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)23:14:57 No.67052570 >no self checkouts at grocery store >can tell the cashier girl is autistic from how she carries herself >overreacted when she knocked over my can of juice with a squeaking noise >put it in the bag and then on the counter and told it to stay 205 KB PNG >proceeded to tell me a cool story about another customer >couldnt understand me saying my phone number >explained that she has dyslexia >made me write it down so she could read it >secretly hoping she kept my number i cannot stop thinking about c------ on her face, is this normal? View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon figures out the anti-work mystery | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous (ID: T/GyyUSx ) 01/26/22(Wed)15:55:53 No.45937521 File: 2.png (67 KB, 1280x1280) >why did the moderators close the r/antiwork reddit? >responding to posts was too much work the poetry writes itself

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