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Political Compass - The Full 9x9 Political Compass but you’ve been Imprisoned in the Last Gulag in Operation | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

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F: C.. C.P WER ОН ТЬЯ THE PREMIER GLORY TO THE PREMIER AND TO THE MOTHERLAND THANK YOU, PREMIER, FOR LEADING OUR COLLECTIVE TOWARDS THE FUTURE GLORY TO THE PREMIER AND TO THE MOTHERLAND The True Believer >heads Sector 15, a tight ship >believes in the future of or else you may functions. You any questions. your cooperation the The Apparatchik >sent by the Premier himself to supervise the megatunnel project and replace >looks up the New Soviet Man but thinks he's too complacent >trying to keep his fellow zeks alive, the best he can The Greeter "Please provide me with your work papers. Take a seat in the chair in the center of the room and face towards the projector. Keep your eyes open during the entire length of the projection please. Do not qurim or move lose cognitive >terrifies the drillers, they see him in their nightmares ככ= >horribly mutated but retains some low intelligence tunnels, only comes out to hunt Marxism and the gulag by extension >very miffed none of the other staff read theory The Dissident "Can a man who's warm >former officer, arrested for derogatory understand one that's freezing?" comments made about 262 the Premier made in private to the Officer "You must listen, there is something not right here, the outside world, something happened, there is no one else! That's why your memory is gone. We have to stand up and overtake the gulag!" >nice non-sequitur pal > night guards should always keep kerosene lanterns on their ОВС. >fashions himself as the Premier's successor >deep down knows he's merely a cog in person for when this unholy machine ON there is an outage >no training for his job but a master of delegation The Lead Worker > ignore the figures in your dreams, it's just mass hysteria >just got his holiday voucher, saving up for something big >never seen without his trusty clipboard >takes bribes from the mob, will regret it >has marginally improved the standard of living for the Drillers, more food yes? > do not go in the megatunnel at night are not allowed Thank you for and glory to Motherland." >writes every day about his experiences eeeeeeee mixed opinions THE EMMITER >sightings started after the Great Emission >do no look at it directly, it can see you >once a guard, became a zek due to disobedience on communism >wants to organize a strike for better conditions in his sector, what do you have to lose? >physically removed UNITY from Sector 25 The Wax Spider >hides in the deepest branch-off >probably doomed... >even the Old Guard speaks of it in hushed tones >wanders just outside the far sectors, only seen at night >seen vaporizing troglodytes with a "light beam" M >the Scavver claimed it saved his life once, everyone else called b------- on that >grew extra limbs, climbs. everywhere >now seems immune to radiation, not bullets tho The Shadows > there are whispers...in the dark places of the gulag... of silent shadows in the night.. ghosts...that stalk their prey...and strike without noise... >extra limbs, appearance preceded by many footsteps >named for how radiation shaped his flesh like hot wax >brings his victims back to his lair to eat live had a family who loved him, remembers them sometimes but just cries because no return from this The New Soviet Man >stripped himself of individuality to become >broken and impossible personification of selfless collectivism to understand >outworks everyone >lobotomy? >does not talk, does not sleep >built like an ox >chiseled like socialist realism >loves his job The Border Guard >first face prisoners see when they enter the Gulag >forgot what it meant to believe in something The Civil Engineer "Why do they keep me here? We've had no real preogress in five years, and that's without the other factors like the famine and radiation, this is... unsustainable." >still loyal to the Premier after it all >a model zek, volunteered to work in the megatunnel >avoids ever visiting the Doctor >prodigy, groomed from a young age for her job the Drillers respect him more than any of the officers >tfw 4 hours of sleep >last face many escapees see >killcount contest with the Sniper, behind but catching up "Holy Moses! You know you can't cross over. Good try, you made it 5 meters further than the last guys. Now don't move, it hurts less if you stay still..." >hits his The Comrade bonus every day >designed the megatunnel >now under the thumb of the Apparatchik >knew how to read and didn't steal so was put in the archives >he's green, that's it >knows they're running out of chemofuel wants to tell them they'll never find the Omega Point but they won't listen "For the glory of the collective, right comrades?" to be projected again before he drinks himself to death >good friend of the Stakhanovite, they trade labor tips >thanks the Premier for The Physicist helping him get in shape > moved to a special sharashka sector after she asked too many questions, no more R&D for her >works on various projects for the gulag, looking a new power source >feels isolated from everyone, socially inept >constant harassment by other zeks and guards The Archivist >tries her best but has serious self-loathing, feels nonexistent some days. >does all she can not to be noticed, just does her job >accidentally saw the original design for the megatunnel, very nervous >so so lonely >head full of theories she's unable to share with anyone "Hey, what's this letter under my bed..." The Open Mutant >escaped extermination by UNITY in Sector 13 then had to flee the Exterminator >saved from extermination by the anarchists in Sector 33 >helps out any way he can, mostly with distribution >swears up and down he also hates the troglodytes tries to be the Blackguard's best friend. mostly given the cold shoulder pamphlets he's been handed >volunteers to clean bonus rations for anyone the bunk house who can give him new music to play just happy to be alive, cheery attitude "What do you mean the food is running out? The Blackguard >in a beautiful display of unity, the guards and zeks of Sector 33 barricaded the sector's gates and declared independence >thinks the gulag system is against "human rights", whatever that means >want to farm instead of fighting mutants or drilling the megatunnel "It's communal, no theft." >wishes he could sit on his ass and smoke all day >seeing more and more troglodytes every day while on wall duty >wondering how the Premier will respond.... The Squirmer > no grasp on reality > you hear him shuffling across your room but are too afraid to look > you found another dog corpse outside The Loudspeaker your room... you're safe... for now... >at least the music in between announcements isn't terrible "DSHU SHNOT KISHEN AUSHUTY" "MEAL" "WAAK UP" "TAUK KOVORE" "szzz- OG ISHHOMING" "GLISHY DE SHE MSKLAND" "HORDE ISHCMING" "WEEEWOOOWEEEWOOOWE >losts count of how many skinheads he's shot >now hates bald people (Glory to the Premier) The Lieutenant "Remember, no one gets in or out!" >head of the unit currently containing the uprising in Sector 13 >the Premier is God, the New Soviet Man is a Messiah, and production is worship >forced to read pamphlets >Sector 33 Uprising is his favorite new topic >a little confused by the uptick in anti-mutant The Stakhanovite the personal request of the Premier >has nightmares about his past life AUTHOAITAЯIAU The Old Guard "Please move along ma'am, you can't make a scene. I'll watch your Premier but daughter, just move along..." not a cruel person >sometimes just cries out of his remaining eye The Radio Operator "Hail to the Premier, clear skies today!" >believes everything he's given by staff >assists the Doctor, knows he's a quack but keeps quiet so she can blackmail him for Emmine bonus rations >white noise >the Propaganda Minister put out a work order >sterile, only somewhat regretful about that >that was three months ago... >f------ Nazis The Experiment >cooked up by the >one mission: kill the Patriarch bois at the R&D at >anarchists did what >hopes to starve out the UNITY rebels >running out of supplies himself, where's the supply trucks? >will f--- for bread >hole is as wide as a uranium mine and just as deadly without protection >when the bandits took over Sector 12, they made her offer "premium membership" to customers >works in the mines, looking to be moved to the megatunnel >regularly kills mutants with tools >broken thirty production records, no one cares but him The Nurse >thinks cults and gangs are wreckers, wants them all shot The Doubter "Why the hell are we all here? Why can't any of us except the elderly remember anything from before? Why don't any of the guards leave? Are gulags normally this big? How do we feed a population this size? What is the megatunnel for?" >p----- the Loudspeaker doesn't work massive toady but not a good liar anarchists and gangsters keep trying to kill him, none successful >sent into the catacombs with no backup The W---- >still alive believe it or not >very happy that mutation has finally gone down after the Great Emission >fought more mutants than cultists >assists in natal treatment, surgery, and combat wounds, also acts as a gynecologist >shuffled between sectors often due to a dearth of medical personnel >participated in the plot against the Premier but got away with it >seen as a collaborator, only like two real friends. >could really use a day or ten off >knows the famine has only just begun, hoarding food >former mill worker, would strip for bonus rations The Troglodytes >no one really knows where they came from >low cognitive function but can use clubs and axes >from the outside, come on raids to take women >language >all wear skins except the naked consists of grunts one, he's the leader and whistles >currently besieging Sector 33 "Now you see, gulag. The Officer but his ? I don't and I can confirm that nothing is wrong with the outside. Comrade is dead, . Now, the projector. the The Sniper >used to be harassed by the male guards until the day she beat one to death with her rifle for touching her shoulder The October Child >born into the gulag, completely complacent "The Premier is so cool, maybe one day I can become the premier!" The 'New' Doctor >newly posted to the gulag, predecessor was lost during the Great Emission >well-trained and eager to prove himself >has over 2,000 confirmed kills, mostly escapees >shoots them so troglodytes won't have all the fun >complains about the cold often >outdrinks most guards, does it to forget "Yay, the labor officer said I get to go in the branch-off tunnel and told me not come back without a handful of (Uranium-235! Can do!" >doesn't know what a full meal feels like misses the friends he lost in the Bloody Baptism >very popular with female zeks, something of a himbo The Team Player "We're all in this together!" "At least the work we're doing is productive!" >still largely unaware of the reality of his situation >mother disguised him as a girl so they wouldn't be separated, never left Sector 20 >survives off of lost children and injured mutants >tunnels have circumvented the gulag at least twice >many wacky >looks up to the Doctor for some reason >got lost in a branch- off, hasn't been able to find his way back >wants to help the zeks however he can adventures >currently contaminating the groundwater storage "We have clothes, food, family, friends, and safety!" "We're getting close to getting our 100 milligram bread bonus!" >allowed to perform medical work after emission storms started and turned out he wasn't Jewish >projected so he really has no idea what he's doing, winging it so he doesn't get hard labor >worried the 'New' Doctor will expose him The Disguise >doesn't care for factionalism, just wants everyone healthy >someone keeps taking severed limbs and mutations for "research purposes" >been in the The Father gulag longer than anyone can remember >allowed to wander from sector to sector, staff largely ignore him >doesn't think of himself as a woman but prefers the sector and working in the cannery >gay for pay (very popular) >very popular with the ladies actually doesn't comprehend this >tries to not think too much about the future >got away with kicking the Husband in the balls The Mole went blind a while back >not associated with the Patriarch, abhors violence >can quote the Sermon on the Mount from memory >the last time he was confined, Sector 7 revolted >assists anyone he can come across, even mutants >surprisingly good physician The Paperclipper The Doctor >was imprisoned after accusation of a plot to megatunnel so radioactive doesn't even do checkups anymofleal with extreme heat of the >still no "Strike, like what the guards mutation do to us?" kill the premier strangely >has seen own child crushed tunnels in branch-off tunnel collapse >just joined the guards, former zek >former guard in Sector 13, brainwashed by UNITY >writes all the pamphlets and literature distributed throughout the Gulag, just him >now thinks he was abducted from Germany after WWII and forced to work in the Gulag >who taught him German? The Recruit Poldest guard left on the wall, in his forties at most >drinks and shoots troglodytes to pass time >in danger of liver failure a "Woof" >the Sniper gives him a weird feeling The Propaganda Minister The UNITY Skinhead >average drugged-up footsoldier of UNITY >feels a little guilty, like he betrayed his fellow prisoners >tfw no chemofuel in weeks The Commissar loyal to the "IF YOU DO NOT SERVE IN THE COLLECTIVE THEN YOU WILL SERVE IN THE PROCESSING PLANT!" >absolute unit >has a huge mechanical d--- >working in Sector 3, hopes he doesn't get wall duty soon The Projection Machine FACE THE PROJECTOR >loved by everyone "What's he barking at?" burns mutants and untermensch with equal vigor >given spare rations by the guards >travels miles every day to The Drillers strips down to work in the "Woof" >fled to Sector 12 after the famine started and zeks tried to eat him, protected by the bandits >very good at his job >escaped before being separated from his mother, been living feral for 10 years >trades rations for alcohol and cigs The Dog >killer at cards allegedly >does great work in the mines by hauling materials >doesn't seem to notice there's a famine going on, will eat just about anything >believes very little >drumming up anti- mutant sentiment to create a common enemy >gets his s--- from the >working pretty well, Merchant none of the staff have or the mob any idea of his personal agenda >maybe he did >better rations now >beat the American with the butt of his gun to show who's boss HB >survival is The Feral actually a miracle valtio The Bear >how the f--- did a bear get sent here >surprisingly chill actually >guards don't mess with him, travels between sectors >ranges all over the Gulag for food, even outside >once called the Husband "Papa", big mistake >fights with the troglodytes for food sometimes wins >finger calluses have hardened into claws >crossed paths with the Emmiter and lived, it just looked at him and walked off III) >seriously why The Bitch Guard >actually does her "Glory to the Premier and job, keeps the boot on zeks in her sector to the Motherland!" >tired from having to stand up for so long >strictly forbidden from talking to anyone before projection, on pain of death >squashes mutants/zeks with bare hands >thinks that the Gulag is controlled by a (((shadowy puppet figure))) >you want the nightmare to end? but it's only just begun! >technology that made him is long lost 19 >regards other women as all sluts, criminals, or both >voracious appetite for men >assisted in vaccinations to hit on the New Doctor >seemingly the only member of staff who noticed the mob trying to smuggle women out of Sector 20, stopped it 0⁰ >what are they looking for? >who is Pierre Teilhard de Chardin? >less and less returning each trip... >would rather have their own shadowy puppet figure in charge >thinks only mutants should work LEAR >raids other sectors if they lose to them in a friendly game of "feet ball" >coups in Sector 5 and 13, triggered the "Great Emission" after the 5 one failed >pays off the Corrupt and other staff for mutation logs for hitlists, often fake THE THIRSTER >end-state of bloodfuel addiction The Numb Guard The Cossack ride a horse >no horses "Opa, sound the >thankful he isn't a prisoner >only one in the Gulag who knows how to >knows if he shows mercy, alarm, another horde incoming..." his family will be taken too >can't remember the life before anymore >doesn't even hear the Loudspeaker anymore >feels the same thing when he shoots a mutant as he does a zek >on his last pack on cigs, might turn to bloodfuel to cope >praying he isn't sent to the megatunnel worried he'll die before he feels woman's loving touch. The Zek >70 hour work week, really? >sentence extended indefinitely asking WAY OUTY questions about his sentence forced out of the Gulag. now lives outside >preys on Sector 20 due to large juvenile population >sells babies to bandits for more might also eat them >not seen as human anymore The Scavver sent out to scavenge the local area for scrap and junk >has to bring back something of value or else the Border Guard won't let them back in The Arrival >rode in a train thousands of miles to get here >tells stories of the old outside world to his bunkmates when it's dark hard time sleeping >uses bonus rations as chess pieces, sometimes plays the Old Guard >guards let him work in the fishery even though he was assigned to the mill >some try to leave, their screams are heard from the far sectors >intense PTSD from troglodytes and wolves >never wants to talk about it >obsessively hoards chemofuel, doesn't explain why The Engineer Cultist >works in the reactor building in Sector 5 >REALLY passionate about his work The Corpse-Eater >lucked out by >started stealing bodies being in Sector soon after the famine began 18, near the crematorium "We're in a famine, you gotta do what you gotta do!" >only preys on dead and dying >absolutely no remorse, somehow not liquidated yet PARTLAN LIBERTANIAN The Exterminator >leader of death squad formed mostly operates in to clear out mutant infestations the megatunnel but goes wherever work takes him >would shoot his best friend if he mutated >treats his gun better than his wife >wants stricter guidelines for mutation. >guard, tranfers sectors often but not too often "The Premier is only a speck in the great almighty Plan of the Glow." >refuses to let outsider into the reactor >works around the clock HAVE F-- HA >hazmat suit has stayed on since the Great Emission The Spy >befriended the Old Guard after learning the ropes on the wall, mutual respect W >checks a small piece of paper he keeps in his hat sometimes when no one's looking >has not found the American yet >currently stuck in Sector 13, trying to not get shanked by UNITY Skinhead MITT >dreams about training the Bear as a mount >cracks jokes with The Elder ration officers to get bonus bread >master accordionist >scavver because he one day hopes to find a horse and ride away The Rabblerouser WE'RE ALL F-----, THERE'S NO RUN, THEY O, THEY >brings milk to the Gulag every two weeks >hangs out near the crematorium >always has a pack of cigs, where does for sale or he get the guns? personal use >claims to have no connection to the mob >disappears when the guards show up "Got something that might just interest you, zek..." >member of the Patriarch's cult, the Blood Covenant >adapted well to the catacombs. >protects believes the Tsar will the cult from someday save him "Is that a >sometimes sixth finger? doesn't eat rations Please face the wall." during the day "Is it hard to be in the gulag?" "Only for the first 10 years." UP, WE OR THIS . COLLAPSE O F--- THE RCHY AS AN ASIBLE AND GAY The Raccoon >oldest surviving >klepto, collects anything she can daughter of the Breeder, >knows Sector 20 like loves her mum but still the back of her hand resents her somewhat >found the Mole's tunnel system, uses it to traverse the gulag >secret pen pal with the Archivist >best friend of the Disguise, has a huge crush on him The Milkman >wants to join the mob. one day >where did he come from? >it tastes kinda funny... >why is he dressed like that? The Merchant >paid in food and ammunition + The Spritual A---- >hard worker, strength "I am the coming man." forged from hellfire of the megatunnel and no mutation >targeted by UNITY for recruitment but leads his own group >believes megatunnel is leading to his homeland, Agartha >slowly dying of radiation sickness whenever someone drops dead, he's always right there on the spot >projection doesn't seem to work on him >bows in a corner of the room every day The Muslim >doesn't speak the same language as everyone else many dangers >extremely modest where does he get and his crew the milk? >worldview that of hierarchy and brute strength >actually Ukrainian The Spetsnaz "I do not know who I am" >killed a man at 13 >can bribe almost anyone HD >no one understands him, shouts at the officers until he gets beaten >killed many Tunnel Mutants, filthy creatures >hated by many, feared by all >trying to find a Quran The Wife "I don't know why I'm here" "All I know is that I must kill" The Paladin "You know I can't let you leave, right? >crafted himself armor to fight mutants and s--- The American >eats rats >ready for a second go >hardest worker in the greenhouses, her potatoes are great I swear >constantly cheery, doesn't ever seem to tire >too proud to trade sex, claims to be waiting for her husband's return >what husband, she's always lived here? >the Premier sends his personal compliment to her potatoes >"1984" no you're in Sector 6, cyka The Cannibal >sees zeks as disposable meat, not so different from the other guards, no? >"literally communism" that is the point >"give me liberty or give me death" well guess who just got assigned to scav duty? >famine has led to incredible weight loss, obese no more >comically >believes in The Vor well-armed Herod's Law >actually asked to be posted at the megatunnel, easy hunting grounds >picks off one or two every week to sate unending hunger >all the other guards >happily knows he's a married creep >part of the mob, trades in cigs, uranium, bloodfuel, ammunition, and weapons >mostly just >one of the few people hopes Premier who can easily move ignores him between sectors >refuses to cooperate with staff at all >lucrative protection/blackmail racket with many zeks >willing to hide a mutant or two >fat >sick f--- The Smuggler f--- >integral part of the gulag black market The Haredi his clothing uses swords and guns as a hands stained red by the reminder Bloody Baptism >having the time of his life, enjoys this way more than being a zek >used to work in the cannery but instead works at the fishery due to reluctance to handle certain meats >keeps >intense faith (and spite) keeps him going >transferred out of Sector 13 due to frequent death-threats from UNITY >tfw whole quadrant full of anti-Semites, cultists, and staff >actually helped by the Vor's protection for once >close connections to the mob but remains independent >lavish bunk house of one in Sector 7, staff well compensated 100 >only one to gain weight during the famine >still p----- that Sector 20 job fell through, he wants a pet of his own The Patriarch found a cool hat and amule Scavver mission, putiton as a laims to >highly tendasoaic ing mesing numbers scavengers, any dead bodies >very nice old lady, most other zeks love her The Tunnel Mutants bea hides the fact he's deau roskoles nost very lonely Cool D disa his c The Babushka >landed in the gulag due to family committing "treason", not much known beyond that >trades sex more for some sort of connection than bonus rations >won't go near the husband >now has eyes for the New Doctor, embarrassed INDOW SEM ination >used to cook real well when there was food >sometimes tells children stories about the old outside world, most just dismiss as fairy tales >hates the Haredi and the Elder for some reason >repairs others' uniforms for a fee. an expert knitter >almost seems to know when a horde is approaching The Corrupt "Heard you've been pretty bad, seems like I've got to punish you, unless..." The Breeder "I was beautiful... once." >hopeless romantic, used and abused by numerous guards >actually tries to care >never seems for all her children, to learn even the boys who are removed from Sector 20 >diligent worker at the cannery but stressed, lonely >talks to no one, lamed for everything >connections to the mob >almost as hated as the Husband by the prisoners playing a very dangerous game, arrest warrant already prepared The Bandit >turned the mills into distilleries >completely taken over Sector 12 >keeps the bloodfuel flowing >extorts w----- A PIG FOR PROCESSING for money (and p---- >allows to mob to operate freely in Sector 12, for a price has a hit out on the merchant "Get back to work, ya maggots!" The Husband >offers protection to some women in the gulag in exchange for sex >been shuffled out of Sector 20 multiple times >keeps population growth up >watches and compliments child laborers while they're working to keep up morale hated by guards and prisoners alike, most hated by his own children The Bourgeoisie DISGUSTING +INHUMAN AIGHT

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