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OFFEE No.70468329 03/31/23 (Fri)18:35:25 1680301599248.png PNG 5.1 KiB 243x208 Guys, I've been on the sigma male grindset for the past few days and it's just so hard. >wake up at 4 am to "rise and grind" >start the day off with exercise like my favorite YouTube personality told me to >give up halfway through because the downstairs neighbor keeps bashing against the ceiling and yelling at me to pipe down, triggering my autism >leave home at 6 am to hustle >mom tells me to "hustle your way into a real job" >leave while holding back tears >ask some people if I can make any money, tell them I have a good and strong body >cops warn me to stop soliciting >get home at 6 pm >my mom asks me why I'm not going out on dates o hanging with friends on a Friday night >have to explain what a sigma male is yet again >she tells me to go outside and get a life >the grind never stops >cold approach a few females at the bus stop >get another warning for soliciting >get back home tired and depressed at 1 am >the grind starts again at 4 am I can't take it anymore. How do my fellow sigmas cope? 1 reply

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Anonymous (ID: rcEmtL+i) Fun Fact 01/23/25(Thu)10:43:26 No.495162041 1.84 MB PNG Peter griffin has punched 2 fascists. sage (ID: Mnplspsu) >Fact Fun fact: Peter Griffin is not real. Anonymous (ID: FOPfkp2b) 01/23/25(Thu)10:43:29 No.495162220 01/23/25(Thu)10:45:30 No.495162046

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.

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Anon gets a office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 70 KB JPG 04/01/23(Sat) 13:08:54 No.72788079 >work at soulless company >have cubicle >want upgrade >idea.exe >find unused closet >totally unused, just there >put table and whiteboard in it >call it "my office" >people begin to jokingly refer to it as my office >but they accept this >a manager is fired and an office open up >I move from a joke office to a real one >nobody bats an eye I can't believe that s--- worked. I work from home now due to 2020, but it f------ worked.

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Unsure whether this has already been posted, but it's good. | /r/Greentext

BOARDS /B/ Anonymous 716321829 /b/ 716313601 39% 8:47 PM /b/ 716320298 1 hr. ago >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, I'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever.

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Anon has low testosterone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG 04/01/23(Sat)13:36:29 No.72788225 >2019 >go to endocrinologist to get my T levels checked because I suspect I have low testosterone eat more lettuce (Imao) >result: 230ng/dl >doctor says its completely normal and that low test is <200ng/dl and that I should just >2023 >low testosterone symptoms keep getting worse >go to doctor again, thinking maybe my T levels are now under 200ng/dl which means I qualify for treatment >result: 170ng/dl f--- doctors. >get somewhat excited because I think the doctor will give me the injections i need >doctor says its completely normal and that low test is <100ng/dl and that I need to do yoga because its good for me >w-- >but last time you told me it was 200ng >he says its always been 100ng and that I'm imagining things

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Anon brings tears to my eyes | /r/Greentext

86 KB JPG >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy >you will never go to the track meet/swim meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self-conscious and shy

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Anon likes fish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Silk 35 KB JPG 04/01/23(Sat)12:44:01 No.72787941 >be US immigrant fron China >Dad farms fish >Wanted to have pets when I was 5 >after several days of negotiations, my father promised to let me have a small fish as a pet >provided me some really good fish tending gear and I fed the fish everyday with love >Fish slowly grows bigger and eventually became as big as my head >meanwhile, my family is going to Korea for a vacation >gave my fish to grandpa to take care of >Fish disappeared after we came back >Asked grandpa and he said the fish probably jumped out of the tank and from the window when he was not looking >We had fried fish of the same species of my fish for dinner that day >It was some f------ good fish

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Anon laments the current state of the economy | /r/Greentext

File: Chud.png (29 KB, 645x767) O Anonymous (ID: p7jYrdxe) 03/31/23 (Fri) 10:55:44 No.17362339 [Reply] ► >>17362358 >more like all jobs are underpaid goyslop wageslave cage. God I wish for mass rapings and societal collapse. Anonymous (ID: (kJHRpvGa) 03/31/23(Fri)11:00:54 No.17362355 I look like that and say that Anonymous (ID: gvR+hyJt >>17362339 (OP). Agreed 03/31/23(Fri)11:01:31 No.17362358

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So much money, so little time | /r/Greentext

File: bonbibonkers.jpg (132 KB, 970x982) Anonymous 03/31/23(Fri)14:42:44 No.88271030 ► >>88271047 >>88271521 >>88271559 >>88271590 >>88271612 >>88272227 >>88272816 >>88273128 >>88273210 >>88273409 >>88273653 >>88274352 >>88274410 >>88274434 >>88274570 >>88274604 >grow up >all my friends get wage slave jobs with ever-changing timetables >it's now impossible to have a regular game with them What's the solution to this? O Anonymous 03/31/23(Fri)15:23:27 No.88271546 ► >>88273665 >>88273801 >>88274369 File: 1679083849151426.gif (2.3 MB, 320x320) >be me >no friends >still buy and collect board games and rpgs. >sometimes I open the boxes and set them. up and imagine playing them

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And then your dad joins in and start bullying you too | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 36 KB JPG 03/02/21 (Tue)22:17:11 No.62575867 >Your dad f----- me last night, hahaha! and I sucked his d--- and swallowed his c-- too >*reaches out to high five other bully bro* >His c-- tasted so f------ good, he had a huge c--- too and I took it all! LOSER! Why aren't there any gay bullies? Why is it always about f------ the mom? View Thread

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Anon have a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 04/01/23(Sat)14:49:11 No.896845893 >be me >have autism >be small and fragile >never able to get a gf because of being short and weak >try best to get gf >self proclaimed incel mistakes small weak boy for girl >tries to take me out on a date >tell him im a dude >only gets more interested >autism kicks in >give him my number >wont stop texting me >block him >shows up to my apartment at 2 am and rings the doorbell for half an hour what the f--- do i do now

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anon tries to make life tolerable | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 03/31/23(Fri)16:35:01 No.632654481 >be a kid >love vidya >most fond memories from childhood are playing games >be adult >try to enjoy games >cant anymore >while sober at least >be adult and be high >love games again >joy of discovering new worlds returns Thank god for weed fr. And legal edibles. I don't mind admitting they make my life so much more enjoyable.

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He done fucked up bad | /r/Greentext

File: 780A7D3A-2446-44DA-9429-C(...).png (347 KB, 860x816) patiem O I f----- up boys Anonymous 03/31/23(Fri)17:54:24 No.896804094 >be me >hit on this real cute girl like way outta my league >going real good >make yo mama joke >"My mom is dead anon" >"hehehe who shot her >tfw she wasn't kidding W-- do I do boys I have apologised profusely but I think i shat my pants on this one

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Anon is gonna make it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/01/23(Sat)00:40:02 No.896843649 Wanted somewhere to share anonymously. Haven't been on /b/ in years, thought I'd come back and tell you guys a story >Be me >32 >Only had sex 3 times, never been in a relationship longer than a month >Met a girl a few years ago >Instantly fell for her harder than I've ever fallen for anyone >Never had the courage to do anything about it, low self esteem, depression, and anxiety in the way >Early January she sends me saucy pics out of nowhere >Wut? >We get flirty, but I'm too scared to make it official >Finally get the courage on my birthday to ask her out >She says yes >Best birthday ever >Fast forward to today >We're on the phone in a video call >She says to me "Anon, I've loved you since the day I met you" >Almost cry on the spot >Tell her I feel the same way >She says she wants to be with me forever I know it's still early in the relationship, but I think I've found the one. I never thought this would happen. I've never been happier /b/ros. I really hope this lasts, I've never felt this way about anyone before in my life

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Greentext Stories - Anon on the sigma grindset | /r/Greentext

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OFFEE No.70468329 03/31/23 (Fri)18:35:25 1680301599248.png PNG 5.1 KiB 243x208 Guys, I've been on the sigma male grindset for the past few days and it's just so hard. >wake up at 4 am to "rise and grind" >start the day off with exercise like my favorite YouTube personality told me to >give up halfway through because the downstairs neighbor keeps bashing against the ceiling and yelling at me to pipe down, triggering my autism >leave home at 6 am to hustle >mom tells me to "hustle your way into a real job" >leave while holding back tears >ask some people if I can make any money, tell them I have a good and strong body >cops warn me to stop soliciting >get home at 6 pm >my mom asks me why I'm not going out on dates o hanging with friends on a Friday night >have to explain what a sigma male is yet again >she tells me to go outside and get a life >the grind never stops >cold approach a few females at the bus stop >get another warning for soliciting >get back home tired and depressed at 1 am >the grind starts again at 4 am I can't take it anymore. How do my fellow sigmas cope? 1 reply

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