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Political Compass - I've kept a dream journal for about five years. Here's a 7x6 wojak compass of dreams and nightmares I had in 2019 and 2020. | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

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An autocratic dystopia had seized control of my city and forced everyone to work in steel mills 1984 I wasn't keeping up with my work quota and I got put on a truck to be exterminated REVENGE OF THE COLONIZED I was in Hanoi and a Vietnamese girl who called herself "Sarah" approached and asked if I wanted to make fucky-fucky μαλάκα I was a member of the Greek La While in bed I called out her name and she angrily replied "my name is Su Yin, colonizer!" and slashed my throat resistance to Nazi occupation Everyone was searched hourly and we were referred to by number rather than name A SI W MOITUJOVER ARSON I unsuccessfully tried to set my workplace on fire using Vaseline and matches APVLEGE Me and my co- conspirators met in a dark underground bar to discuss blowing up a German ship in Athens Harbor BIDEN BOΥ I was in a texting conversation with Hunter Biden that got increasingly-lewd tite ZyL KRE Just then, the door burst open: it was the Gestapo The next day I was called into a conference room and fired My Mom saw the texts and called him, SOUTH SIAN shouting that I wasn't some "pool boy" GUATEMALAN GANG I joined a gang in Guatemala and I kind of wanted to be, though ran around vandalizing a bunch of buildings family and shooting them with them I tried to back out but they told me SU I'd seen too much SURENDEVIAA and approached MATER But then they took things too far by robbing a wealthy 201 menacingly frow DISPOSAL PERMIT BIOWEAPONS BEAT COP I asked the foreman what was happening and he said that because my social credit score had fallen too low, the city had issued a "disposal permit" for my One day in college I got an email from the Dean that I had been made "resident enforcer." The next day a military-style uniform and baton arrived at my dormroom place, which was now "property of the state." One day I returned to my apartment to find a crew cleaning out all the furniture me but the judge calmed them down and exiled me to Algiers POLAND But the flight got cancelled Booked a trip with friends on a cheap Polish airline The jury looked ready to lynch So we went out onto the streets of Bydgoszcz (its was wintertime) and had a snowball fight On a family trip in Bangkok, Thailand, I stepped on some broken glass and cut my feet badly I asked my Dad if I I could seek medical attention and he shook his head and said "there are natural remedies for this" JELLY While on a road trip I came across an orphaned baby otter on the shoulder and I adopted her and named her "Jelly" KANGAROO COURT "PEACE CORPS" BORODINO ITALIAN FRONT I was an Italian soldier at the Battle of Vittorio Veneto (1918) After claiming that the wage gap didn't exist in a college class, I was arrested in the middle of the night and put on trial in a Marxist show court I was working for the Peace Corps in Sudan, serving peasants food under a large tent My supervisor came by and ordered me to collapse the tent On the first day of campaigning I fell into a river and lost my rucksack and rifle but my superior officer, a kindly man from my home village, spoke reassuring words to In a plaza we found hundreds of Austro- Hungarian troops trying to surrender, but it was a trick and we began shooting at each other One night while Jelly was sleeping in my bed I had a nightmare and awoke to find I had crushed Jelly I was heartbroken and cried while holding her mangled corpse CUDDLES I met a nice girl in class who said she was interested in nature, so I invited her to climb a nearby mountain with me I woke up tied to a bed and gagged Halfway up, it began to rain heavily and we took shelter in a small cave My grandma was sitting in the corner in a hazmat suit She was shivering and I held her until the rain stopped I was so happy As I tried to scream and break free, she patiently explained her plan to take over the world by releasing a biological weapon I had this dream in November 2019 I was an 11- year-old child living in a communist dictatorship I did as I was told; dozens were killed. 2 I was just following orders ESCAPE FROM COMMUNISM One day Mom sat us down and explained that we would try and escape in the middle of the night, but our attempt was thwarted and the secret police separated us for questioning Mom coached me on what to tell them, but then she was dragged screaming to a wall and shot HOLISITC MEDICINE CHOCCY CHIPS DRAKE AND JOSH I was living with Drake and Josh I was souvenir shopping in Prague when Lance Armstrong showed up at the market, pinched my cheek, and gave me a bag of chocolate chips He said "aren't you the cutest little thing??" ERIC ANDRE Me and some friends decided to vacation in Los Angeles, and we booked with an unknown budget airline Halfway through the flight the "pilot" came out of the cockpit - it was Eric Andre, and we were on a prank show He was drinking and he handed out beers. I laughed at the shitpost DUEL A nosy man interrupted me while I was using a brothel, so I challenged him to a duel I was a French private at the Battle of Borodino But he snitched on me and the cops broke it up right before we fired at each other I had free reign to beat students and I was happy FEED me Suddenly, a Russian sniper's bullet struck him down SURRENDER ATTEMPT I was a German soldier at the First Battle of the Marne in 1914 My Rabbi had convinced me to join but I was having second thoughts, so I rode out to Belgian lines with a white flag of truce I knew I would face eternal shame back in Germany, but I didn't want to die I kept asking what cool s--- they wanted to do, and they made me go get Wendy's for them There was a laugh track FALSE ACCUSATION I was on the run for r---, even though I didn't do it, and the girl who falsely accused me kept finding me and pooping on me as a method of taunting She then sent her gangster friends to beat me up KLANISHNESS I lived in West Virginia in 1961 A black boy showed up on my porch and I called the police Instead, the local Klan showed up and dragged him into a truck I was hanging out with some friends and then a masked man ran up to us and, at knifepoint, forced us to drink a mysterious beverage that made us hallucinate He revealed he was with the CIA and he blindfolded us and threw us into a black van O I asked what they were going to do with him and they laughed "what we did to Emmett Till." It was a warm, sunny morning, and we moved in to occupy a town My squad escaped into a building and lobbed. grenades out the window The dream was my longest ever and entirely in Italian and German BATTLE OF THE BULGE I was a US soldier at the Battle of the Bulge, marching down a dark road in single file on the way to reinforce a position Fire blazed across the sky ahead of us, and I focused on it until one of my squad- mates, a blue-eyed man named Paul Cloud from West Virginia, came and gave me a c-------- We discussed what might come and I was very cold AN OFFER I CAN'T REFUSE At a high school awards show, Martin Scorsese presented me with the "Best Business Knowledge" award I thanked him and he asked me to appear in his next movie kept cheating I was playing Monopoly with When I called Ron Paul but he him out on it, he said "go read some Hemingway, nerd" and flipped the board DIVINE RETRIBUTION I was going to a big party I'd been anticipating for weeks, but just as I arrived my Mom called and insisted I come to synagogue I said no and an instant later, a beam of wood flew through the windshield and impaled me מת The school resource officer arrested me for furnishing alcohol to minors SWORD OF VENGEANCE I was a Mormon preacher in a small town in Kansas Suddenly, a group of III% militiamen burst into my church and said they were going to kill us all I was member of a four-man Navy SEAL team tasked with destroying a Taliban headquarters in a village in Afghanistan I drew a sword from behind my pulpit and walked briskly toward the militiamen, intend on defending my flock. SEAL TEAM Our cover was blown soon after landing but we proceeded with the operation The locals looked at us as if they were afraid and fled into their homes Suddenly, machinegun and RPG fire opened up on us from all sides NAVALNY I was Alexei Navalny and I was so desperate to kill Putin that I'd arranged to assassinate him, personally, at a Kremlin event But as I went to stab him, he seized my knife by the blade, looked me in the eyes, and said "you're hopeless." They were very welcoming and at the end of the visit, they asked if I wanted to be their adopted son MKULTRA SCHOOL DANCE BOOTLEG FIREWORKS My Dad and I I was an adult chaperoning a school dance and when a boy began to cry, I gave him beer to calm him down were on the roof manufacturing bootleg fireworks After some thought I said "no, thanks," and Princess Anne gave me a roll of Canadian $1 Loonies and sent me home I kept asking him if it was safe and he replied with "shut up, f-----" JEWISH JIHAD My mom was disappointed with my discipline so she enrolled me in a high-intensity exercise and religious camp for Jewish youth The work was hard and halfway through, I learned that they intended to declare a holy war on the local Christians Did, indeed, blow up the house ABRAHAMBURGERS I went to Israel He thought the and had lunch with a senile whole time that Yitzhak Rabin I was the reincarnation of Abraham MONOPAULY ROYAL REFUSAL MICROSTATE The Royal Family invited me to Buckingham Palace President Trump came to my college campus and I snagged seats in the front row I tried to back out but they asked what side I was on and, well... TRUMP ROAST He took questions from the audience but when I was called on to speak, I stuttered and he said "what are you, retarded?" His handler shook her head and gave me a scornful glare BUSH WARS I was a Rhodesian soldier in the Bush Wars, staying at a hot hotel in a big African city Driving through Sierra Leone, I stumbled upon a compound with 20 residents that identified as a sovereign microstate ARMED Society had broken down into anarchy The audience roared with laughter. "I don't take questions from retards," Trump continued. "Get him out of here!" THILL TRUS A little girl tried to steal my gun and I shot her, and my comrades laughed and gave me a beer The leader, an old black man, kissed me on both cheeks and said that I was welcome to live here. A Rhodesian mercenary also living. here didn't trust me, however, and he dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night and made me slaughter a chicken to prove my loyalty COMPOUND I fled to my parents' home, where I found my Dad had bought an arsenal of guns We stood on the rooftops picking off marauders and private militias

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