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3h A teacher toke away my phone back in 2012, she said she was gonna sell it, back then teachers used to take away stuff permanently for some reason cuz it was legal, now it's ilegal because of this incident I beatd the sout of that teacher, we both got expelled cuz they found several other stolen phones, client lists and non reported to tax system money I was taken as a hero on the other school I got in by the students, as a danger by the teachers xd Reply 4-8

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that happened cringe lying

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Comments 3.5K 笑い続ける = X Х 1 month ago (edited) My sister called me a weeb. I stole her phone and changed her ringtone to this. I then proceeded to call her while she was talking to her crush. Update: Her crush was a bit freaked out of her ringtone and proceeded to just stay friends, mission accomplished 1.7K 目 57

when i got in a car crash and called my dad right away and he just said "skill issue" and hung up 5572 18 810

Extendalk just went out wearing my 1920s clothing and heard a girl ask her mom if i was a ghost to which her mom replied "no, i think thats just a lesbian" Х 68.2K 564 4294

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Only 5

Medical Yesterday at 10:19 PM . My 5-year old daughter: Dad, did you see your new patient yesterday? Me: I did, yes. He had a stroke. He only pronounces certain syllables, but seems to understand everything people tell him. My child: Hmmmm... He understands everything, so at least we know it's not Wernicke's Aphasia. Me: Yes, I actually saw his evaluation, and... Wait, what did you just say??? Kids are sponges... Evidently, when she asks me about work, she does listen to what I say. I am one proud dad. - feeling proud. DO 1.5K 33 Comments

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Bro Swam to the Titanic

Been there, the tour guide let us swim in the water and you can actually see the wreckage when you go deep enough in 11-15 Reply you cant go down by it simply by swimming 11-20 Reply 29 12 40 You can Ive done it was a bit cold but quite nice to see. I was bored so quickly swam back up after about 10 mins 11-20 Reply 17 i dont thnk you're referring to the titanic

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Just Had to Share

Had to share this. So the KFC I work at actually use fresh chickens on site to make their food. We have a big coup in the back and each morning the on-duty butcher does his thing (do I have to go into detail) a lot of our staff is really f upset at this as they hate the fact we basically slaughter these animals in the premises we just don't say much because our general manager is really strict about it and argues with us every time we bring it up and one of our old staff members got fired for threatening to expose him. Last week I decided to take action and I hid a camera inside the coup and videoed what was happening, played it on a projector I set up in the restaurant in front of all the customers, people got so mad that they started throwing their food at our manager and the police showed up and arrested him. I let all the live chickens free into the eating area and everyone applauded as they all escaped out the door. I'm now heading to bed as I've got an early shift tomorrow as new head manager #animalrights #love #nohate 541 notes A tl 3

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Suuure

Today at 12.02 My teacher threatened to kill me lol in the middle of class because I said I like Lana del Rey instead of Taylor swift because he is a Taylor swift worshipper

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That Didn't Happen

Had skipped school and the school called my dad to ask why I didn't show up. So he calls me and says why the he'll aren't you at school. So I told him that I'm actually on a field trip and they should know that and he says ok let me talk to your teacher. So I was in downtown and there was no shortage of homeless people so I ask one if he'll pretend to be my teacher her for 5 bucks. He sold it perfectly and my dad apologized to me. ↑ 8,7t ↓

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Pianos

← Q 20h i d I caused a breakup unintentionally We have a piano at the student center on campus, and every few days I sit down and play for 10-15 minutes to relax. earlier this week, I was going crazy with the keys and when I was done, this guy came up to me and said, "Yo bro, this is the best s I have ever listened to ON GOD." And I say, "Thanks dude I appreciate it fam" And he says back, "No problem g I actually just broke up with my b* girlfriend because she wanted to leave to go get some Starbucks and I wanted to stay and listen to you play." 7 I did not know how to respond but I told him, "Bros before am I right?". we were laughing so much. we went our separate ways. that made my day 179 ↑ Share

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Kids These Days

heatherthompsonday + A boy told my daughter he liked her He asked if she likes him back Then I'll know if you are someone I could like." She said "I can't answer that right now because you've only been nice to me for two days. I need to see how you treat me & others for the next two months. Y'all. Come get dating advice from my 12 year old a 62 replies 4,121 likes 5h heatherthompsonday UPDATE: He said "that's fair." a D ... 2h ...

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Do Not

OMGGGG!!!! So I put "Attack on Titan" as my name in Starbucks and the barista yelled 'GREATEST ANIME OF ALL TIME?!?' And I said 'YESS! THATS TRUE!' And then everyone around me started to sing "SASAGEYO SASAGEYO SHINZOU SASAGEYO" OMG WOWWW 21.7k ATTACK ON АПАСК TITAN SHORTS 699 comments 2.5k shares

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Oof

Follow Guy objected to my pricing the other day, said he didn't want to shell out that much money. Understandable. "How much would you say you've spent this year on tables and bottles and boats for girls you'll never talk to again?" My man HUNG UP and text me asking for wire info 3:49 PM 27 Nov 23-1,583 Views

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He Didn't Recognize His Dad?

... When I was a kid, dad would show up routinely, sign me out of class, and take me for ice cream. It was always my FAVORITE part of the week. I'm 35 now. When I went home for the holidays mom and I was talking about fond memories from the past, and I mentioned this. Suddenly mom looked at me horrified, "HONEY, HE NEVER DID THAT."

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Rough

B. So I'm @ the bank waiting in line & the guy in front of me is spitting game to the teller, she's laughing & he's attractive so I can tell she's digging it, he asks her if he can take her out and she says "with what? The whole $11.96 you got in your account?" SON, my chest

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Wow

A girl bought an iPad. When her father saw it, He asked her "What was the 1st thing you did when you bought it? "I put an anti-scratch sticker on the screen and bought a cover for the iPad" she replied. "Did someone force you to do so?" - "No" "Don't you think it's an insult to the manufacturer?" - "No dad! In fact they even recommend using a cover for the iPad" "Did you cover it because it was cheap & ugly?" - "Actually, I covered it because I didn't want it to get damaged and decrease in value." "When you put the cover on, didn't it reduce the iPad's beauty?" - "I think it looks better and it is worth it for the protection it gives my iPad." The father looked lovingly at his daughter and said, "Yet if I had asked you to cover your body which is much more precious than the iPad, would you have readily agreed???" She was mute..... ~ Indecent dressing and exposure of your body reduces your value and respect. Always dress decently. *Pls protect our young ladies by sharing this with all sisters*.

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That Happened - Sounds Legit

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3h A teacher toke away my phone back in 2012, she said she was gonna sell it, back then teachers used to take away stuff permanently for some reason cuz it was legal, now it's ilegal because of this incident I beatd the sout of that teacher, we both got expelled cuz they found several other stolen phones, client lists and non reported to tax system money I was taken as a hero on the other school I got in by the students, as a danger by the teachers xd Reply 4-8

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